Rhod Gilbert is joined by Linda Plant, Jenny Eclair and Ed Gamble to analyse this week's task and meet the first candidate to be fired.
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I'm not impressed with any of you.
This is a bloody shambles.
You didn't follow the money.
I've got two teams here,
they're both rubbish.
You're fired. You're fired.
Good evening and welcome
to The Apprentice: You're Fired,
I'm Rhod Gilbert.
This week saw our candidates
hunting down gifts to celebrate
Lord Sugar's 70th birthday.
The items included your usual party
staples, like scarlet doeskin
and 100 bricks, but there was
..than met the eye.
And with such a busy day, Joanna
and Anisa were worried they wouldn't
get home in time for Eggheads.
It's nearly five to six.
OK, so if we can get in and out by
five past six,
I reckon we might just do it.
Here to help us figure out who
pinned the tail on the donkey
and who got kicked in the
ass...mule, please welcome tonight's
Apprentice fans and guests,
and confidante to
Lord Sugar, Linda Plant,
the wonder that is Jenny Eclair,
and comedian Ed Gamble.
Welcome to You're Fired.
So, how do you think it went
this week, Linda?
Well, I loved this episode
because you really get to see
if the candidates have got what
Lord Sugar is looking for -
negotiating skills, strategic
planning, sourcing ability.
Well, I think they missed a trick
because what everybody wants for
their birthday is an extra surprise.
So, it's all very well having a list
but I think if they got him
a bouncy castle as well...
..they might have got extra
points for initiative.
Well, this is always my favourite
episode of the series as well
especially as every series it seems
to be Lord Sugar just getting
people to do his errands for him.
I think next year we're going to
move onto him just getting them
to pick up his dry cleaning
and cleaning the wardrobe.
Well, the fifth unlucky
candidate will be here any minute to
help us understand where it all went
wrong, but, first...
BIG BEN CHIMES
In Apprentice News tonight,
the candidates are against the
clock, and on such a time-sensitive
task, Anisa starts
to save valuable milliseconds.
Ultimately, if we're heading...
Yeah, we're heading N...
Valuable time saved there.
Andrew gets hiding his face and
picking his nose in the wrong order.
Probably another 20 minutes away,
if it stays like this.
Bushra takes time out to have
a needless pop at Scooby-Doo.
Not looking where he's going,
a cyclist accidentally pedals
straight down Sajan's ear canal.
The only fear I have is that we
haven't got all the items.
Where did he go?
Where did he go? Let's see that
again. Where's he gone?
The only fear I have is that we
haven't got all the items.
Tasked with getting a 70th birthday
cake for Lord Sugar and an item
made in 1947, a razor-sharp Harrison
puts two and two together.
70th birthday cake.
An item made in 1947.
I'm guessing Lord Sugar
was born in 1947.
And that's tonight's
Early in the task, Ross admitted
that the thought of spending
all day driving around London
didn't appeal to him.
So, at the end of the task,
Lord Sugar put him
out of his misery and booked him
a black cab home.
Ross, you are a very articulate
fellow but, I believe,
and I say this very respectfully,
you are a fish out of water
in this process.
For that reason, I wish you all
the best but, Ross, you're fired.
Thank you for the opportunity.
It was really...
I appreciate the opportunity.
Please welcome Ross Fretten!
Come in, grab a seat. Grab a seat,
Ross. How are you feeling?
Could be better. I did just get
fired, so, you know,
not the optimal situation
I find myself in.
A bit raw?
A little bit raw, but
I think we're all right. It was fun.
We're all dying to know at the end
there where you said, "It's been...
"It's been really...something,"
and then you just kind of cut-off
and went, "Thanks for the
opportunity." What had it been,
really, what had it been?
been so many things, you know.
You go into it thinking it's going
to be one thing and it's not.
What was the one thing you thought
it was going to be and it wasn't?
It was different to my expectations
and it was interesting.
That's what I'm going to go with.
Yeah, so you were going to say,
"It's been really interesting?"
And then changed your mind?
I thought it could be
misconstrued as a negative,
and I didn't mean it to be. It was
interesting for lots of good reasons
and I didn't want it to come off as
if I was feeling a bit raw,
as you say, and trying to get
a dig in because I really wasn't.
Did you think you were going to go?
Did you think you were going
to get fired?
I have to admit, I was so arrogant
I thought there was no way I was
going to get fired when I had Saj
sitting next to me, if I'm honest.
You thought Saj was going to go?
I was certain he was going to go.
But, from the conversation,
I knew I was on the back foot
because I hadn't contributed at all.
No-one can get away from that.
Yeah, that is on the back foot
Not the best game plan.
No game plan.
I think you should have
"Well, that was a waste of time!"
Oh, go back to being a genius.
It's hard work, you know.
I loved it when Lord Sugar
said to you you haven't contributed
at all, and you very proudly went,
"I knew you were going to say that."
I'm that smart. I'm that smart, Ed.
You fought your corner
in the boardroom, though.
You didn't just roll over. You never
do in a boardroom.
No, why would I?
And, to be honest, the boardroom's
probably the most fun
I was having in the whole process.
I really actually enjoyed it
more than the tasks,
and more than the treats in fact.
More than the treats!
"You've won, Ross.
Your treat is you can come...
"Shut the door
and come straight back in."
It really was that, I really would.
"Just go around,
"turn round by my secretary over
there, come straight back in."
I want more, Lord Sugar, more!
Why did you enjoy the boardroom
I just find it really fun.
It's intellectually stimulating,
it's about creative problem-solving
off-the-cuff, and it's very raw
compared to the task.
You can go in there, you can spar
with people, you can get the better
of them if you're smarter than them,
which, by the way, I am, OK?
So, I just really enjoyed it
for that reason, actually.
You famously now... We call it
From the time when in the boardroom
you said to Lord Sugar,
"If I may continue -
uninterrupted would be ideal."
Talk us through that.
So, I very much doubt
Lord Sugar got to where
he is today by surrounding
himself in yes-men.
So I actually don't think it
was as big of a deal as everyone
seems to think, personally,
and I stand by it.
If someone's going to interrupt
and it may be a bit
in a conversation, there's no
harm in respectfully telling them
that, and that's what I done.
Linda, you know
Lord Sugar personally.
Yes, I do.
Has Ross got a point there?
He might not surround
himself with yes-men,
but he certainly wouldn't
need a no-man.
And Ross is an absolute no-man
for Lord Sugar.
OK, maybe for Lord Sugar, yes,
but generally I'm not a negative...
But you were in the task!
Ross, bit of a tip.
If someone says you're no-man,
don't answer with, "No, I'm not."
You got me there.
Despite winning their first task
just seven days ago, Team Vitality
managed to get their losing streak
back on track this week.
Let's see where it all went wrong.
Where was you on this task, Ross?
What did you do?
Don't know London at all.
I've never lived here.
Is EC1 anywhere near E14?
Guys, we just need to know what
the hell we're doing.
This is getting a bit frantic.
No-one knows where we're going
or what we're doing.
Do you have
Please feel free to tell us
because I think we all feel
like we're at a loose end, mate.
Did you buy anything?
Were you a waste of space
in this task, or what?
Right there, two stores away from
us. Is it worth us popping in there?
The supermarket is clearly not
a Jewish, kosher supermarket.
This has been a complete and
colossal waste of precious time.
I think the issue with
Ross in a task like this is he's not
made himself want to negotiate,
therefore he's not really
contributed anything to the task.
Ross, you've shown no
genius as far as business acumen
is concerned so far.
Is it harsh to watch that?
If you don't mind me saying so,
on the start of this task,
you looked sort of defeated
before you started.
Yeah, I mean...
If I'm completely honest...
heart wasn't in it from the start.
It wasn't. It was a task that
I was dreading.
I knew I'd underperform in this task
unless I could pull something out,
so I knew it wasn't going to be
a good one.
Was that a self-fulfilling prophecy,
though, if you went in
with that attitude?
if I'm honest,
because I did take ownership
during the day.
I actually said to Saj,
"Mate, your leadership sucks.
"You've given me nothing to do,
not because you don't trust me
"but because we've basically
condensed five interactions
"or transactions into three people."
Me and Saj both had nothing to do.
So his response to that was to
allow me to lead the afternoon
and if that had happened, I wouldn't
have been in the boardroom
and we wouldn't be having
this discussion around contribution.
However, as we know, Harrison
and his team messed up the computer,
and the afternoon got derailed.
So, you know,
I was a victim of circumstance.
However, I will put my hands up
and say, if I really fought for it
that day, I probably could have
found more ways to be involved.
Jenny, considering that the winner
of this process goes on to
work with London-based, proud
Cockney, Tottenham Hotspur devotee
Lord Sugar, do you think when Ross
said, "I don't know what I'm doing
"in London, I don't want
to be here,"
do you think he sort of signed
his own P45 before he started?
He wasn't on his own. The girls...
One of the girls actually said...
actually said on camera,
"We don't know what London is."
Yeah, Elizabeth said that.
You're clearly a very intelligent
man, Ross, but I don't think
necessarily a genius in that sense
is cut out for this process.
Like, Albert Einstein was a genius,
I wouldn't send him off to get
a good price on bricks.
I totally take that point, and...
Horses for courses.
I think the point to make is -
to succeed in this process,
you need a plethora of skills.
Sorry, if people don't know the word
plethora. You need lots of skills.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding!
I'm loving this, I wish I'd seen
this during the show!
Ross, you're playing the pantomime
I say it with love.
No, but in all seriousness,
you do need...
..you do need lots of skills, and
intelligence is just one of them.
And I think maybe there were other
candidates in the process, and I'm
sure you guys would all agree, that
had those skills more so than I did.
Linda, when you find yourself
in that situation, you know
it's not your strength,
what should you do?
So many things.
He was so negative.
Try to contribute,
try to show you've got some
Try to entice
Lord Sugar in some way.
And, then, when you got in the
boardroom, it was, like, "Oh, I'm...
"Here I am, the victim again,
I knew you were going to do that."
It was, like, "Don't speak,
don't interrupt me."
Everything that you did was
completely against what would
entice Lord Sugar to be
your business partner.
You know at the interview stage...
you were just playing a character.
Good job I'm not interviewing you,
then! No, you were dreadful.
You were dreadful!
I need a hug.
I may be a narcissist,
but I'm quite fragile, Linda.
Jenny, Ross sort of held his
hands up and said
he wasn't looking forward to this
task, he was out of his depth.
Has not knowing anything about
stopped you piping up?
Hasn't stopped me.
I've got a long way
on very, very little.
I got a D and an E at A-level,
I've got no talent to speak of,
and, yet, look at me
sat here like a queen.
Ed, are you a strong negotiator?
Do you haggle ever?
I'd rather order everything
I buy online
so I don't have to interact
with other human beings.
I'm an awful negotiator.
If I'd been in that task,
I'd be sat where Ross is right now
wearing a £500 Tottenham scarf.
Which, by the way,
I did some research into that scarf,
7.99 on eBay.
Well, Ross risked the wrath
of Lord Sugar a few weeks ago
to button it in the boardroom.
But this week he had a little less
luck with Karren.
People who do absolutely nothing
are no good to me.
And I agree.
I was project leader
on week two.
You lost week two.
Let's talk about the task a bit
more. Sajan was project manager.
Terrible team leader. Sorry, yeah.
Well, he said he brought you in
The word "analytical skills"
came up a lot.
I mean, it sounds a vague sort of
fudge on a task like this,
So, with Saj as team leader,
it wasn't great, let's be honest.
He didn't really have
control of anything,
really, from the beginning. I do
have so much fondness for Saj,
I think he's an absolutely
but I do feel like he was a bit
out of his depth on that and,
ultimately, we paid the price with
the team, and it's effectively me
that that came down to,
and I hope he has a lot of sleepless
nights over that.
It did come down to you.
Lord Sugar in the boardroom, Linda,
said he was lucky... Saj was lucky
he'd caught him on a good day.
Was he lucky there wasn't a double
I would have fired Sajan. I would.
He absolutely messed up.
He did not buy the two biggest
ticket items, and he...
Having shown initiative to actually
get the dealer of the computer
to come halfway across London
to meet him,
he then just abandoned him.
I thought it was bad business,
and bad behaviour, actually.
Jenny, if you'd been
project manager on this,
what would your strategy have been?
Well, their biggest
competition in this,
their biggest struggle was against
the capital city that is London.
And I'd have kidnapped
a London cabbie.
That's what I'd have done,
because they know where to go.
I'd have kidnapped a London
cabbie, bunged them in the car
and said, "Oi, mate..."
Sorry, mustn't do that, cos that's
what the girls did, didn't they?
That was the most extraordinary...
Building a rapport, I think
Eurgh! With brickies!
"S'cuse me, fella!"
The boys did it, as well.
"All right, fella!" The boys did it
as well. Couldn't help themselves.
The only thing they did well was
there were some fabulous hairdos
The hair gel. I mean, the person who
should win is Sajan's hairdresser.
Thought you were going to say
That quiff, you know.
And Andrew - very good hair as well.
They're both divas, let's be honest.
They're both very diva-ish.
Maybe that's one of the qualities
I alluded to earlier,
about going far in the process,
one of the ones that's less
desirable for someone like me.
Diva-like qualities, maybe.
in a slightly diva-like way!
Oh, no - I'm out of my depth here!
Sajan tried to rescue a bad
situation in the boardroom
with a rousing humdinger of a speech
that would have moved anyone
with a heart to tears.
Let's see how it went down with
somebody who doesn't have a heart.
ROUSING CLASSICAL MUSIC
I'll tell you what I am.
I'm very hard-working,
very passionate at what I do.
Where I've come from,
it's been difficult.
My upbringing's been very different.
I'm young, I might not be
experienced as these guys, but
there's definitely something that
I'll give you which is hard work.
I'm here to be mentored.
I'm still building my confidence
and I've still got a long way to
go in this process...
RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES
I'LL decide whether you've got
a long way to go in this process.
Let's talk about what went right,
Ross, because you got back in time.
Yeah, we got back in time
and we had, um...
..a reasonable amount of items,
not that that's good,
but if we decided to take an hour,
two hours extra, we'd have
absolutely got the handkerchief,
absolutely got the scarf.
We actually hit the deadline,
which apparently the other team
were incapable of doing.
But the main bit of the task,
surely, is to get the items,
it's not just getting to the
House of Lords on time?
can get to the House of Lords
in eight hours.
But YOU would have ended
up in Lourdes in France.
With no items, naked.
That's where you'd have ended up
if you were involved in this task!
Let's talk about some of the other
candidates, Ross. Joanna.
Hasn't had an easy time of it
Had quite a frustrating week
She's still in there, though.
Yeah, I actually have
a lot of sympathy for Joanna.
I think she's quite competent
and I think she's quite emotionally
intelligent, I think she can
read a room very well and read
social dynamics quite well, as well.
..I think just circumstances mean
she's been on the back foot
and she's having to over-assert
herself I think, to try
and get her point across
and that's being
misconstrued as aggression,
which I don't think is fair.
She was PM this week, Linda, Joanna.
She was under quite
a lot of pressure,
because she knew from the end
of the last task that she was going
to be PM, so I think she performed
very well and they won the task.
Yeah. She cried big, fat
tears of relief or joy,
was it, at the end there, Jenny?
That was quite a moment.
Have you ever invested
so much in something that you've
cried at the end?
No, I haven't, I'm not that type,
I don't know why I said that!
An exhausting day racing
aimlessly around London
and missing deadlines clearly took
its toll on Joanna this week.
TINKLY LULLABY PLAYS
Ed, Joanna's been in quite
a competitive environment,
it's been quite argumentative,
a lot of debate.
Would you thrive in that
sort of environment,
or in a more conciliatory team,
like the boys have had?
I think neither team, really.
Neither type of team.
Not a team player?
Absolutely not a team player,
that's why I do stand-up comedy.
I can't bear the idea of anybody
else having a say in what I do.
I mean, a lot of the time I turn
up to gigs
and I'm annoyed that an audience is
there, quite frankly.
I mean, it's not often.
Bushra was sub team leader
on Graphene this week.
Where you impressed with
I think she's an intelligent girl,
I think she's very smart.
I think she's playing her cards
quite close to her chest,
definitely. So I'm not sure which
way it's going to go - I think
she could either really thrive
and go quite far in the process,
or maybe just be outed as a bit of
an impostor, I'm not sure.
I think and hope it's the former.
Jenny, what do you make of Bushra?
She was sub team leader this week.
Her and Elizabeth,
they're great, aren't they?
They should do panto together.
She called Elizabeth an
unprofessional cartoon character -
was that harsh? Fair?
Harsh but fair?
It's only something I've been called
on many, many occasions, so...
..I think, yeah, I think that
Elizabeth totally rubs up Bushra
the wrong way,
because I think Bushra is probably
quite a professional woman...
..and Elizabeth just
goes gallumphing in.
I love her. I think she's great.
But not for the right reasons!
It sounded like Bushra was
setting us a riddle at one point,
Ed, when she said,
"I am from London,
"but I do not travel
"What am I?"
I am a child in the morning!
She was narrowing it down as they
got further through the task,
like everyone was going,
"I'm from London," and later on
they were going, "It's not my part
of London, though."
By the end, she was just going,
"I only really know my house,
and that's it..."
Let's talk about Charles
a little bit.
He puts himself forward for project
manager this week - again, rejected.
Wasn't that every week?
Er, he has put himself forward
a couple of times,
he's been rejected again.
Linda, why do you think
they went with Sajan
and not Charles this week?
Um, well, I haven't got
a lot of sympathy for Charles,
because I think...
You surprise me.
Look, I think that Sajan, he's got
more charisma than Charles and
I think he did show initiative and
I think that people recognise that.
Charles did well on the task,
he knew what the rugelach was,
he knew where to find it,
he knew what it was.
No, I disagree.
I don't think he did well.
In the discussions, he said,
"Oh, rugelach - that can be found
in Golders Green or Stamford Hill,"
and then he took the team
to Hampstead -
very short drive from Golders Green,
paid a lot more money in Hampstead.
It's not the area you
would go for rugelach,
and I think that actually throughout
the task, he was pretty passive.
Harrison - once again, has to be
said, invited to be sub team...
He gets this a lot.
But ended up in the boardroom again,
so people obviously have
confidence in him, Ed, but is it
misguided confidence, do you think?
I don't necessarily think so -
I quite like Harrison.
You can tell he puts his all into it
because about halfway through
the day, his hair starts getting
wilder, he gets five o'clock
shadow at about 1.30...
So, Ross, unfortunately,
Lord Sugar won't be investing in you
but he does have this advice
for your future.
Ross was a very interesting person,
he's a technology man.
I'm a technology man also,
but he went wrong on this particular
task basically doing nothing and
it was something which regretfully,
I saw in the previous task also.
He said travelling around London,
finding products was not his forte,
but I'm not sure what his forte was
as far as business is concerned.
I'm optimistic for Ross in the
future, he's a very smart guy,
very technical, very analytical,
and I'm sure that he'll turn his
skills to something where
he will flourish.
I'm happy with that and I actually
don't disagree with anything
he did say.
What was your business plan?
My business plan
is a dog training and health app
and a connected collar for your dog,
so people can get puppy classes
in their pocket
and understand if a dog is healthy
and happy. Really simple,
really easy, really exciting.
So, Lord Sugar made his decision,
but does our panel feel it was
the right decision? Linda?
I do. Absolutely.
I'm shocked to the core that Linda
would say that.
That came out of nowhere!
Oh, I think Lord Sugar was right
to fire him,
he'd have been miserable staying,
I thought during that task,
you were taking everything in
and you were about to pounce,
you were choosing your moment,
and then you never pounced.
It was like watching a nature
documentary where there's a lion
watching antelopes and then they
just walk off.
I think you're clearly very clever,
but you weren't quite cut out
for that, so I think they made
the right decision.
So that's the panel. What do our
audience think? Let's have a look.
If you agree with Lord Sugar,
then hold up Fired,
if you disagree,
hold up Hired now, please.
Oh, my God!
Even my friends have got Fired!
What the hell?!
They wanted you home, Ross - they
wanted you home!
Yeah, that's it.
Guys, the people holding up Hired,
you're not supposed to look at the
side you want to hold up, right?
There's one changed up there!
Unfortunately, it is red, Ross,
but nobody leaves here empty-handed.
Because, Ross, you are justifiably
proud of your genius.
You said at the outset that you
are normally the smartest
person in the room.
Did you see my
implicit caveat, there?
Well, why take that risk?
Yeah, I know.
I've got a gift that
eliminates all risk,
to guarantee that you are always
the smartest person in the room,
Ross, do not look round now,
I'm going to bring it to you.
Face that way, my friend, do not
look, it's a surprise.
I'm getting goose bumps
with the excitement.
Just cos I touched your shoulder.
It's also that!
You need never take the risk
again, you can always be
the smartest person in the room...
..with my beautiful handmade PPR,
it's the Portable Personal Room...
APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER
Take that wherever you go.
Ross, you've been a great sport.
Thanks a lot.
Enjoy your PPR, thanks for coming
on the show.
Let's have a look
at your highlights.
Normally, I'm the smartest person
in the room.
Ross is one of the most intelligent
people I've ever met.
This has quashed that immediately.
He's very analytical.
I don't think his brain ever
If you feel you need to strip out
some detail, do that, please.
I'm trying to actually explain,
preferably, not to be rude,
but uninterrupted would be really
Ross is lovely, there's so many
layers to Ross.
I still eat Pop Tarts
and I'm 29 years old.
He's a nice guy, very dark sense
This, to me, screams British.
I would also scream, "No,
I think it's disgusting."
Awesome. Sounds like we're good to
Do you want to, like, I don't know,
touch each other, high five...?
Come on, let's touch each other.
Let's do it.
Not sure what that was, but...!
It just feels good, doesn't it?
It just feels good.
Ladies and gentlemen, Ross Fretten!
Thank you! Thank you.
Also, please thank tonight's
and guests Linda Plant,
Jenny Eclair and Ed Gamble.
Next week sees our candidates set
sail for beautiful Belgium to
conduct guided tours for tourists.
Who will find their sea legs
and who will end up all battered
looking like a right An-twerp?
Your next task is to plan
and execute a tour of Bruges.
SHIP HORN BLOWS
Guys, how do you fancy a Segway
We're fannying about.
We don't need to fanny about.
Have you heard of Segways?
I'm really pissed off.
OK, now - if I can't see your eyes,
you can't see me.
So this is where the magic happens?
Are you lost?
No, no, not at all - we're there.
We've just got to go round.
Guys, come on.
The way they've mixed in new
buildings with the old is
That was stupid beyond belief.
Oh, no - we're back
where we started!
To infinity and beyond!
SHIP HORN BLOWS
Join me next Wednesday at ten for
more You're Fired - goodnight!
On this week's The Apprentice: You're Fired, host Rhod Gilbert is joined by Linda Plant, Jenny Eclair and Ed Gamble to analyse the teams' performances and meet the latest candidate to be fired.
Find out more on the website bbc.co.uk/apprentice or by using #theapprentice.