Lord Sugar's Birthday The Apprentice: You're Fired

I'm not impressed with any of you.

This is a bloody shambles.

You didn't follow the money.

I've got two teams here,

they're both rubbish.

You're fired.

You're fired. You're fired.

Good evening.

Good evening and welcome

to The Apprentice: You're Fired,

I'm Rhod Gilbert.

This week saw our candidates

hunting down gifts to celebrate

Lord Sugar's 70th birthday.

The items included your usual party

staples, like scarlet doeskin

and 100 bricks, but there was

mortar...this task...

..than met the eye.

And with such a busy day, Joanna

and Anisa were worried they wouldn't

get home in time for Eggheads.

It's nearly five to six.

OK, so if we can get in and out by

five past six,

I reckon we might just do it.

Here to help us figure out who

pinned the tail on the donkey

and who got kicked in the

ass...mule, please welcome tonight's

Apprentice fans and guests,

fashion entrepreneur

and confidante to

Lord Sugar, Linda Plant,

the wonder that is Jenny Eclair,

and comedian Ed Gamble.

Welcome to You're Fired.

So, how do you think it went

this week, Linda?

Well, I loved this episode

because you really get to see

if the candidates have got what

Lord Sugar is looking for -

negotiating skills, strategic

planning, sourcing ability.

Or not.

Or not.

Jenny?

Well, I think they missed a trick

because what everybody wants for

their birthday is an extra surprise.

So, it's all very well having a list

but I think if they got him

a bouncy castle as well...

..they might have got extra

points for initiative.

Ed?

Well, this is always my favourite

episode of the series as well

especially as every series it seems

to be Lord Sugar just getting

people to do his errands for him.

I think next year we're going to

move onto him just getting them

to pick up his dry cleaning

and cleaning the wardrobe.

Well, the fifth unlucky

candidate will be here any minute to

help us understand where it all went

wrong, but, first...

In Apprentice News tonight,

the candidates are against the

clock, and on such a time-sensitive

task, Anisa starts

abbreviating words

to save valuable milliseconds.

Ultimately, if we're heading...

Yeah, we're heading N...

Valuable time saved there.

Andrew gets hiding his face and

picking his nose in the wrong order.

Probably another 20 minutes away,

if it stays like this.

Bushra takes time out to have

a needless pop at Scooby-Doo.

An uncontrollable...

..unprofessional...

..cartoon character.

Not looking where he's going,

a cyclist accidentally pedals

straight down Sajan's ear canal.

The only fear I have is that we

haven't got all the items.

Where did he go?

Where did he go? Let's see that

again. Where's he gone?

The only fear I have is that we

haven't got all the items.

Tasked with getting a 70th birthday

cake for Lord Sugar and an item

made in 1947, a razor-sharp Harrison

puts two and two together.

70th birthday cake.

An item made in 1947.

I'm guessing Lord Sugar

was born in 1947.

And that's tonight's

Apprentice News.

Early in the task, Ross admitted

that the thought of spending

all day driving around London

didn't appeal to him.

So, at the end of the task,

Lord Sugar put him

out of his misery and booked him

a black cab home.

Ross, you are a very articulate

fellow but, I believe,

and I say this very respectfully,

you are a fish out of water

in this process.

For that reason, I wish you all

the best but, Ross, you're fired.

Thank you for the opportunity.

It was really...

I appreciate the opportunity.

Good luck.

Thank you.

Please welcome Ross Fretten!

Come in, grab a seat. Grab a seat,

Ross. How are you feeling?

Could be better. I did just get

fired, so, you know,

not the optimal situation

I find myself in.

A bit raw?

A little bit raw, but

I think we're all right. It was fun.

We're all dying to know at the end

there where you said, "It's been...

"It's been really...something,"

and then you just kind of cut-off

and went, "Thanks for the

opportunity." What had it been,

really, what had it been?

It had

been so many things, you know.

You go into it thinking it's going

to be one thing and it's not.

And...

What was the one thing you thought

it was going to be and it wasn't?

It was different to my expectations

and it was interesting.

That's what I'm going to go with.

Yeah, so you were going to say,

"It's been really interesting?"

Yeah.

And then changed your mind?

I thought it could be

misconstrued as a negative,

and I didn't mean it to be. It was

interesting for lots of good reasons

and I didn't want it to come off as

if I was feeling a bit raw,

as you say, and trying to get

a dig in because I really wasn't.

Did you think you were going to go?

Did you think you were going

to get fired?

I have to admit, I was so arrogant

I thought there was no way I was

going to get fired when I had Saj

sitting next to me, if I'm honest.

You thought Saj was going to go?

I was certain he was going to go.

But, from the conversation,

I knew I was on the back foot

because I hadn't contributed at all.

No-one can get away from that.

Yeah, that is on the back foot

slightly.

Slightly, right?

Not the best game plan.

No game plan.

No, no.

I think you should have

said,

"Well, that was a waste of time!"

Oh, go back to being a genius.

It's hard work, you know.

I loved it when Lord Sugar

said to you you haven't contributed

at all, and you very proudly went,

"I knew you were going to say that."

I'm that smart. I'm that smart, Ed.

You fought your corner

in the boardroom, though.

You didn't just roll over. You never

do in a boardroom.

No, why would I?

And, to be honest, the boardroom's

probably the most fun

I was having in the whole process.

I really actually enjoyed it

more than the tasks,

and more than the treats in fact.

Yeah.

More than the treats!

"You've won, Ross.

Your treat is you can come...

"Shut the door

and come straight back in."

It really was that, I really would.

"Just go around,

"turn round by my secretary over

there, come straight back in."

I want more, Lord Sugar, more!

Why did you enjoy the boardroom

so much?

I just find it really fun.

It's intellectually stimulating,

it's about creative problem-solving

off-the-cuff, and it's very raw

compared to the task.

You can go in there, you can spar

with people, you can get the better

of them if you're smarter than them,

which, by the way, I am, OK?

Everyone clear?

So, I just really enjoyed it

for that reason, actually.

You famously now... We call it

Uninterrupted Gate.

Oh, yeah.

From the time when in the boardroom

you said to Lord Sugar,

"If I may continue -

uninterrupted would be ideal."

Talk us through that.

So, I very much doubt

Lord Sugar got to where

he is today by surrounding

himself in yes-men.

So I actually don't think it

was as big of a deal as everyone

seems to think, personally,

and I stand by it.

If someone's going to interrupt

and it may be a bit

counter-productive

in a conversation, there's no

harm in respectfully telling them

that, and that's what I done.

Linda, you know

Lord Sugar personally.

Yes, I do.

Has Ross got a point there?

Er...no.

Absolutely not.

He might not surround

himself with yes-men,

but he certainly wouldn't

need a no-man.

And Ross is an absolute no-man

for Lord Sugar.

No way!

OK, maybe for Lord Sugar, yes,

but generally I'm not a negative...

But you were in the task!

Ross, bit of a tip.

If someone says you're no-man,

don't answer with, "No, I'm not."

You got me there.

Despite winning their first task

just seven days ago, Team Vitality

managed to get their losing streak

back on track this week.

Let's see where it all went wrong.

Hello, Ross.

Where was you on this task, Ross?

What did you do?

Don't know London at all.

I've never lived here.

Is EC1 anywhere near E14?

Guys, we just need to know what

the hell we're doing.

This is getting a bit frantic.

No-one knows where we're going

or what we're doing.

Do you have

another suggestion?

Please feel free to tell us

because I think we all feel

like we're at a loose end, mate.

Did you buy anything?

No.

Were you a waste of space

in this task, or what?

Right there, two stores away from

us. Is it worth us popping in there?

The supermarket is clearly not

a Jewish, kosher supermarket.

This has been a complete and

colossal waste of precious time.

I think the issue with

Ross in a task like this is he's not

made himself want to negotiate,

therefore he's not really

contributed anything to the task.

LORD SUGAR:

Ross, you've shown no

genius as far as business acumen

is concerned so far.

Harsh.

Is it harsh to watch that?

No.

Did you...

If you don't mind me saying so,

on the start of this task,

you looked sort of defeated

before you started.

Yeah, I mean...

If I'm completely honest...

Your

heart wasn't in it from the start.

It wasn't. It was a task that

I was dreading.

I knew I'd underperform in this task

unless I could pull something out,

so I knew it wasn't going to be

a good one.

Was that a self-fulfilling prophecy,

though, if you went in

with that attitude?

Actually, no,

if I'm honest,

because I did take ownership

during the day.

I actually said to Saj,

"Mate, your leadership sucks.

"You've given me nothing to do,

not because you don't trust me

"but because we've basically

condensed five interactions

"or transactions into three people."

Me and Saj both had nothing to do.

So his response to that was to

allow me to lead the afternoon

and if that had happened, I wouldn't

have been in the boardroom

and we wouldn't be having

this discussion around contribution.

However, as we know, Harrison

and his team messed up the computer,

and the afternoon got derailed.

So, you know,

I was a victim of circumstance.

However, I will put my hands up

and say, if I really fought for it

that day, I probably could have

found more ways to be involved.

Jenny, considering that the winner

of this process goes on to

work with London-based, proud

Cockney, Tottenham Hotspur devotee

Lord Sugar, do you think when Ross

said, "I don't know what I'm doing

"in London, I don't want

to be here,"

do you think he sort of signed

his own P45 before he started?

He wasn't on his own. The girls...

One of the girls actually said...

actually said on camera,

"We don't know what London is."

Yeah, Elizabeth said that.

You're clearly a very intelligent

man, Ross, but I don't think

necessarily a genius in that sense

is cut out for this process.

Like, Albert Einstein was a genius,

I wouldn't send him off to get

a good price on bricks.

Yeah.

I totally take that point, and...

Horses for courses.

I think the point to make is -

to succeed in this process,

you need a plethora of skills.

Sorry, if people don't know the word

plethora. You need lots of skills.

AUDIENCE:

Ooh!

I'm kidding, I'm kidding!

I'm loving this, I wish I'd seen

this during the show!

Ross, you're playing the pantomime

baddie tonight!

I say it with love.

No, but in all seriousness,

you do need...

..you do need lots of skills, and

intelligence is just one of them.

And I think maybe there were other

candidates in the process, and I'm

sure you guys would all agree, that

had those skills more so than I did.

Linda, when you find yourself

in that situation, you know

it's not your strength,

what should you do?

So many things.

He was so negative.

Try to contribute,

try to show you've got some

entrepreneurial skills.

Try to entice

Lord Sugar in some way.

And, then, when you got in the

boardroom, it was, like, "Oh, I'm...

"Here I am, the victim again,

I knew you were going to do that."

It was, like, "Don't speak,

don't interrupt me."

Everything that you did was

completely against what would

entice Lord Sugar to be

your business partner.

You know at the interview stage...

..I thought

you were just playing a character.

Good job I'm not interviewing you,

then! No, you were dreadful.

You were dreadful!

Hey!

I need a hug.

Sorry, everybody.

I may be a narcissist,

but I'm quite fragile, Linda.

Jenny, Ross sort of held his

hands up and said

he wasn't looking forward to this

task, he was out of his depth.

Has not knowing anything about

something ever

stopped you piping up?

Hasn't stopped me.

I've got a long way

on very, very little.

I got a D and an E at A-level,

I've got no talent to speak of,

and, yet, look at me

sat here like a queen.

Ed, are you a strong negotiator?

Do you haggle ever?

Absolutely not.

I'd rather order everything

I buy online

so I don't have to interact

with other human beings.

I'm an awful negotiator.

If I'd been in that task,

I'd be sat where Ross is right now

wearing a £500 Tottenham scarf.

Which, by the way,

I did some research into that scarf,

7.99 on eBay.

Well, Ross risked the wrath

of Lord Sugar a few weeks ago

telling him

to button it in the boardroom.

But this week he had a little less

luck with Karren.

People who do absolutely nothing

are no good to me.

And I agree.

I was project leader

on week two.

You lost week two.

Let's talk about the task a bit

more. Sajan was project manager.

Terrible team leader. Sorry, yeah.

Well, he said he brought you in

for your...

The word "analytical skills"

came up a lot.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it sounds a vague sort of

fudge on a task like this,

analytical.

So, with Saj as team leader,

it wasn't great, let's be honest.

He didn't really have

control of anything,

really, from the beginning. I do

have so much fondness for Saj,

I think he's an absolutely

great guy,

but I do feel like he was a bit

out of his depth on that and,

ultimately, we paid the price with

the team, and it's effectively me

that that came down to,

and I hope he has a lot of sleepless

nights over that.

It did come down to you.

Lord Sugar in the boardroom, Linda,

said he was lucky... Saj was lucky

he'd caught him on a good day.

Was he lucky there wasn't a double

firing?

Absolutely.

I would have fired Sajan. I would.

He absolutely messed up.

He did not buy the two biggest

ticket items, and he...

Having shown initiative to actually

get the dealer of the computer

to come halfway across London

to meet him,

he then just abandoned him.

I thought it was bad business,

and bad behaviour, actually.

Jenny, if you'd been

project manager on this,

what would your strategy have been?

Well, their biggest

competition in this,

their biggest struggle was against

the capital city that is London.

And I'd have kidnapped

a London cabbie.

That's what I'd have done,

because they know where to go.

I'd have kidnapped a London

cabbie, bunged them in the car

and said, "Oi, mate..."

Sorry, mustn't do that, cos that's

what the girls did, didn't they?

"Oi, mate!"

That was the most extraordinary...

Building a rapport, I think

that's called.

Yeah. Banter!

Eurgh! With brickies!

"Oi, mate!

"S'cuse me, fella!"

The boys did it, as well.

"All right, fella!" The boys did it

as well. Couldn't help themselves.

The only thing they did well was

there were some fabulous hairdos

going on.

The hair gel. I mean, the person who

should win is Sajan's hairdresser.

Thought you were going to say

that!

That quiff, you know.

And Andrew - very good hair as well.

They're both divas, let's be honest.

They're both very diva-ish.

Maybe that's one of the qualities

I alluded to earlier,

about going far in the process,

one of the ones that's less

desirable for someone like me.

Diva-like qualities, maybe.

Says he...

in a slightly diva-like way!

Oh, no - I'm out of my depth here!

Sorry!

Sajan tried to rescue a bad

situation in the boardroom

with a rousing humdinger of a speech

that would have moved anyone

with a heart to tears.

Let's see how it went down with

somebody who doesn't have a heart.

I'll tell you what I am.

I'm very hard-working,

very passionate at what I do.

Where I've come from,

it's been difficult.

My upbringing's been very different.

I'm young, I might not be

experienced as these guys, but

there's definitely something that

I'll give you which is hard work.

I'm here to be mentored.

I'm still building my confidence

and I've still got a long way to

go in this process...

I'LL decide whether you've got

a long way to go in this process.

Such prowess.

Let's talk about what went right,

Ross, because you got back in time.

Yeah, we got back in time

and we had, um...

..a reasonable amount of items,

not that that's good,

but if we decided to take an hour,

two hours extra, we'd have

absolutely got the handkerchief,

absolutely got the scarf.

We actually hit the deadline,

which apparently the other team

were incapable of doing.

But the main bit of the task,

surely, is to get the items,

it's not just getting to the

House of Lords on time?

I

can get to the House of Lords

in eight hours.

But YOU would have ended

up in Lourdes in France.

With no items, naked.

That's where you'd have ended up

if you were involved in this task!

Let's talk about some of the other

candidates, Ross. Joanna.

Hasn't had an easy time of it

in there.

Had quite a frustrating week

last week.

Yeah.

She's still in there, though.

Yeah, I actually have

a lot of sympathy for Joanna.

I think she's quite competent

and I think she's quite emotionally

intelligent, I think she can

read a room very well and read

social dynamics quite well, as well.

However...

..I think just circumstances mean

she's been on the back foot

and she's having to over-assert

herself I think, to try

and get her point across

and that's being

misconstrued as aggression,

which I don't think is fair.

She was PM this week, Linda, Joanna.

She was under quite

a lot of pressure,

because she knew from the end

of the last task that she was going

to be PM, so I think she performed

very well and they won the task.

Yeah. She cried big, fat

tears of relief or joy,

was it, at the end there, Jenny?

That was quite a moment.

Have you ever invested

so much in something that you've

cried at the end?

Shoes?

A lady...

Shoes?!

No, I haven't, I'm not that type,

I don't know why I said that!

An exhausting day racing

aimlessly around London

and missing deadlines clearly took

its toll on Joanna this week.

Ed, Joanna's been in quite

a competitive environment,

it's been quite argumentative,

a lot of debate.

Would you thrive in that

sort of environment,

or in a more conciliatory team,

like the boys have had?

I think neither team, really.

Neither type of team.

Not a team player?

Absolutely not a team player,

that's why I do stand-up comedy.

I can't bear the idea of anybody

else having a say in what I do.

I mean, a lot of the time I turn

up to gigs

and I'm annoyed that an audience is

there, quite frankly.

I mean, it's not often.

No!

Bushra was sub team leader

on Graphene this week.

Yeah, yeah.

Where you impressed with

Bushra generally?

I think she's an intelligent girl,

I think she's very smart.

I think she's playing her cards

quite close to her chest,

definitely. So I'm not sure which

way it's going to go - I think

she could either really thrive

and go quite far in the process,

or maybe just be outed as a bit of

an impostor, I'm not sure.

I think and hope it's the former.

Jenny, what do you make of Bushra?

She was sub team leader this week.

Her and Elizabeth,

they're great, aren't they?

They should do panto together.

Um...

She called Elizabeth an

unprofessional cartoon character -

was that harsh? Fair?

Harsh but fair?

It's only something I've been called

on many, many occasions, so...

..I think, yeah, I think that

Elizabeth totally rubs up Bushra

the wrong way,

because I think Bushra is probably

quite a professional woman...

Definitely.

..and Elizabeth just

goes gallumphing in.

Gallumphing in?

I love her. I think she's great.

But not for the right reasons!

It sounded like Bushra was

setting us a riddle at one point,

Ed, when she said,

"I am from London,

"but I do not travel

through London."

"What am I?"

I am a child in the morning!

She was narrowing it down as they

got further through the task,

like everyone was going,

"I'm from London," and later on

they were going, "It's not my part

of London, though."

By the end, she was just going,

"I only really know my house,

and that's it..."

Let's talk about Charles

a little bit.

He puts himself forward for project

manager this week - again, rejected.

Wasn't that every week?

Er, he has put himself forward

a couple of times,

he's been rejected again.

Linda, why do you think

they went with Sajan

and not Charles this week?

Um, well, I haven't got

a lot of sympathy for Charles,

because I think...

You surprise me.

Look, I think that Sajan, he's got

more charisma than Charles and

I think he did show initiative and

I think that people recognise that.

Charles did well on the task,

though,

he knew what the rugelach was,

he knew where to find it,

he knew what it was.

No, I disagree.

I don't think he did well.

In the discussions, he said,

"Oh, rugelach - that can be found

in Golders Green or Stamford Hill,"

and then he took the team

to Hampstead -

very short drive from Golders Green,

paid a lot more money in Hampstead.

It's not the area you

would go for rugelach,

and I think that actually throughout

the task, he was pretty passive.

Harrison - once again, has to be

said, invited to be sub team...

He gets this a lot.

But ended up in the boardroom again,

so people obviously have

confidence in him, Ed, but is it

misguided confidence, do you think?

I don't necessarily think so -

I quite like Harrison.

You can tell he puts his all into it

because about halfway through

the day, his hair starts getting

wilder, he gets five o'clock

shadow at about 1.30...

So, Ross, unfortunately,

Lord Sugar won't be investing in you

but he does have this advice

for your future.

Ross was a very interesting person,

he's a technology man.

Of course,

I'm a technology man also,

but he went wrong on this particular

task basically doing nothing and

it was something which regretfully,

I saw in the previous task also.

He said travelling around London,

finding products was not his forte,

but I'm not sure what his forte was

as far as business is concerned.

I'm optimistic for Ross in the

future, he's a very smart guy,

very technical, very analytical,

and I'm sure that he'll turn his

skills to something where

he will flourish.

Nice words.

Nice words.

I'm happy with that and I actually

don't disagree with anything

he did say.

What was your business plan?

My business plan

is a dog training and health app

and a connected collar for your dog,

so people can get puppy classes

in their pocket

and understand if a dog is healthy

and happy. Really simple,

really easy, really exciting.

Good luck.

Thank you.

So, Lord Sugar made his decision,

but does our panel feel it was

the right decision? Linda?

I do. Absolutely.

I'm shocked to the core that Linda

would say that.

That came out of nowhere!

Jenny?

Oh, I think Lord Sugar was right

to fire him,

he'd have been miserable staying,

miserable.

Ed.

I thought during that task,

you were taking everything in

and you were about to pounce,

you were choosing your moment,

and then you never pounced.

It was like watching a nature

documentary where there's a lion

watching antelopes and then they

just walk off.

I think you're clearly very clever,

but you weren't quite cut out

for that, so I think they made

the right decision.

OK.

So that's the panel. What do our

audience think? Let's have a look.

If you agree with Lord Sugar,

then hold up Fired,

if you disagree,

hold up Hired now, please.

Ooh!

Oh, my God!

That's brutal!

Even my friends have got Fired!

What the hell?!

They wanted you home, Ross - they

wanted you home!

Yeah, that's it.

Guys, the people holding up Hired,

you know

you're not supposed to look at the

side you want to hold up, right?

There's one changed up there!

Unfortunately, it is red, Ross,

I'm afraid,

but nobody leaves here empty-handed.

Because, Ross, you are justifiably

proud of your genius.

You said at the outset that you

are normally the smartest

person in the room.

Did you see my

implicit caveat, there?

Normally.

Normally.

Well, why take that risk?

Yeah, I know.

I've got a gift that

eliminates all risk,

to guarantee that you are always

the smartest person in the room,

Ross, do not look round now,

I'm going to bring it to you.

Face that way, my friend, do not

look, it's a surprise.

I'm getting goose bumps

with the excitement.

Just cos I touched your shoulder.

It's also that!

You need never take the risk

again, you can always be

the smartest person in the room...

..with my beautiful handmade PPR,

it's the Portable Personal Room...

Oh, wow!

Take that wherever you go.

I love

it.

Ross, you've been a great sport.

Thanks a lot.

Enjoy your PPR, thanks for coming

on the show.

Let's have a look

at your highlights.

Normally, I'm the smartest person

in the room.

Absolutely.

Ross is one of the most intelligent

people I've ever met.

This has quashed that immediately.

He's very analytical.

I don't think his brain ever

stops working.

If you feel you need to strip out

some detail, do that, please.

I'm trying to actually explain,

preferably, not to be rude,

but uninterrupted would be really

helpful.

Ross is lovely, there's so many

layers to Ross.

I still eat Pop Tarts

and I'm 29 years old.

He's a nice guy, very dark sense

of humour.

This, to me, screams British.

Totally agree.

I would also scream, "No,

I think it's disgusting."

Awesome. Sounds like we're good to

go, guys.

Do you want to, like, I don't know,

touch each other, high five...?

Interesting.

Come on, let's touch each other.

Let's do it.

Not sure what that was, but...!

It just feels good, doesn't it?

Keep going!

It just feels good.

Ladies and gentlemen, Ross Fretten!

Thank you! Thank you.

Also, please thank tonight's

Apprentice fans

and guests Linda Plant,

Jenny Eclair and Ed Gamble.

Next week sees our candidates set

sail for beautiful Belgium to

conduct guided tours for tourists.

Who will find their sea legs

and who will end up all battered

and Bruges-ed,

looking like a right An-twerp?

Your next task is to plan

and execute a tour of Bruges.

Guys, how do you fancy a Segway

tour?

We're fannying about.

We don't need to fanny about.

Have you heard of Segways?

No.

Shush!

I'm really pissed off.

OK, now - if I can't see your eyes,

you can't see me.

So this is where the magic happens?

Yes.

Are you lost?

No, no, not at all - we're there.

We've just got to go round.

Guys, come on.

The way they've mixed in new

buildings with the old is

literally ingenious.

Thank you!

That was stupid beyond belief.

Oh, no - we're back

where we started!

To infinity and beyond!

Join me next Wednesday at ten for

more You're Fired - goodnight!