Episode 10 The Apprentice: You're Fired

This was mayhem. That don't look good.

It is not rocket science.

Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.

Bloody clueless. You're fired.

You're fired. You are fired. You're fired.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Good evening and welcome to The Apprentice: You're Fired.

Just two weeks to go in this year's battle to be Lord Sugar's

business partner. Tonight, we'll be casting an eye over the five

who are still in with a chance of securing his £250,000 investment,

and saying goodbye to Mr Monaco.

This is turning into being an extraordinary series

of The Apprentice.

In week eight, we had the first abdication of a project manager,

last week, our first Welsh candidate bowed out,

and most extraordinary of all, this week, the ladies' team won a task.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We never thought we'd see the day.

Let's meet our panel who can hardly contain themselves.

Retail entrepreneur Sarah Curran, Paralympian Ade Adepitan

and comedian Hugh Dennis.

Welcome to You're Fired.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Tonight's task of starting a retail business from scratch led to

one candidate being scratched from Lord Sugar's plans.

Myles, I'm not sure what your expertise is.

This is simply from a gut feeling.

I'm not sure in YOU, either, and for that reason,

I have to say that, Myles, you're fired.

Thank you very much, guys. I've learnt a lot.

Ladies and gentlemen, please... Actually, do you know what?

I find him slightly intimidating, hang on one second...

LAUGHTER

-Please welcome...

-LAUGHTER

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Myles Mordaunt.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Myles, do you like the way my ripped, er, my tie goes underneath

my ripped, and then comes out the other end of my ripped?

You're looking very suave, by the way.

-You're looking very tailored, as ever.

-Thank you very much.

You've brought a style and a panache

and a general good tailoring to the show which we often can't rely on.

I saw a few comments, I think "dapper undertaker" was one.

And, "The bloke who's just popped out

"for a fag at a wedding a few times". LAUGHTER

Probably a good thing, yeah. It is a surprise...

Sorry, I'm just going to get rid of this. Er...

It is a surprise for many of us, in some ways, that you're here.

I mean, I'm gutted. I think I...

I enjoyed the process, I tried to keep my head low at the start,

go through and just be myself.

I tried to be a positive energy the whole way through

and I think that...

Surprised to go out, I guess.

I really wanted to try and be in the final five.

As a candidate, you feel like you've fallen at the last hurdle.

There was a real momentum behind wanting to get into that final five,

-it's really symbolic.

-OK,

I say it was a surprise, and it was for many,

that you didn't make that final five.

Not a surprise, if you watch the episode. Not a surprise in any way.

LAUGHTER

I wouldn't limit it to just that episode,

you could probably go back the week before, as well.

I have to say, this week, within five minutes,

one of the men was going home. That was pretty clear.

Let's relive your performance on this task.

-Have you guys made a decision?

-Myles?

Erm...

If we get something that doesn't sell, we've had it.

The ceramic notepad, definitely. The butter dish...

-Expensive, were they, or what?

-I'm saying to you £11.50.

I think it's quite expensive.

-How many items did you have on your stall?

-We've got 16 items.

-Right.

Three blokes, one stall, 16 items.

Hello, mate, some gift ideas in ceramic? Hello, there.

Bit of fun ceramic, here. Don't really want to know, do they?

Supposed to have a depth of stock,

otherwise you can't smell what sells.

One day only, London designers. Gift ideas.

-I don't think the shop looks brilliant, does it?

-It looks awful.

I'm not sure whether you've got the plot here,

about this particular task.

So, right from the start, you were kind of playing catch-up, a bit.

16 pieces of unusual, "iconic" I believe was the term used, ceramic.

It just seemed from thereon in, you were always losing.

By that stage in the process, on reflection,

you're carrying baggage.

So, I'm worrying about what Neil is thinking the whole time

because Neil has been fantastic throughout

and he's got brownie points with Lord Sugar and you worry that

when you're in the boardroom, he's going to listen to him.

The other thing, you're also carrying baggage from other episodes,

so if we choose a supplier here and it's too long to get back,

you start making all these decisions and becoming indecisive

because you're worrying about too many other things.

What you actually need to do is crack on, follow your gut instincts

and manage it like you would anything else.

I think that was my failure. I was trafficking too much in my head.

So it's not like the Monaco thing to have shops with nothing in them?

LAUGHTER

That's like a poor Euro-chic saving at the moment.

Well, yes, we have a butter dish, so what?

LAUGHTER

Maybe you want to buy the butter dish, maybe you don't care.

-A very minimalist approach.

-Very minimalist.

You really erred on the side of minimalism in this particular task.

Listen, online retailer is what you are amongst everything,

-but you started as...setting up your own boutique.

-Yeah, absolutely.

-You know retail from this?

-Yeah, pretty much. And I think...

For me, it was quite obvious that you didn't have a strategy,

because you didn't really look at the marketplace,

where you were, price point, passing trade...

And also there wasn't a real experience on your stall.

So it wasn't very enticing to come to.

There were many moments of very itchy, scratchy, I really

felt for you, because I think at that point, you were just lost.

Yeah, I don't think I released

my inner Del Boy in this one. LAUGHTER

People have a natural audience - your natural audience, I feel,

is on a yacht...rather than in a market stall in the East End.

I think that's a fair comment, and actually, if you look back,

I shouldn't have put myself forward as project manager on this.

-Why did you do that?

-Do you know why?

Again, it comes back to where you are in the process.

Neil had been project manager three times, Jordan twice.

It was my natural time to do it, and again,

carrying the fear that you go into the boardroom and it turns into,

"Why weren't you project manager?"

That's a stupid decision, that's not the right decision to be made.

But isn't the game to actually choose the right time for

when to be the project manager? I feel you hit the nail on the head

when you said you were carrying baggage from the week before,

where you made that mistake when Alex went out with the food

and the skull and cross bones and stuff,

and then you didn't trust your decisions.

What you should have done, as you said,

was just think of the now and not what happened in the past.

Jordan made the perfect comment.

He'd have been the perfect project manager. Neil and I could focus on

the other stuff - the best solution.

What did you get wrong? Something about the product

and there was something about, you know,

the positioning and all the rest of it.

What everybody always gets wrong, they don't look at Karen.

She's another member of the team.

If you turned round when you were buying things

and you looked at Karen and saw her going...

LAUGHTER

..it would be so much easier. You go, "Here's a butter dish",

you quickly turn round and she's going...

We are getting to the stage of the process where

the candidates' business ideas are coming to light,

and Jordan's caused some confusion and surprise.

I'm not the software engineer.

I'm the strategy, sales and marketing, it's not me alone.

There's another person who...

-KAREN:

-There's three of you in this partnership.

-Yes, yeah.

If and when an investment is made, then those discussions happen...

What discussions happened?

-Discussions about percentages and how it was split between...

-Er...

No discussion here, mate. We get 50-50 shares.

-I'm a safer investment than...

-Safer investment?!

What bleeding world do you live in?! A tech start business?

Lord Sugar, let me explain myself...

They're the most risky bloody investments on this planet.

Suddenly, Jordan has a mystery partner.

You must have been sitting there are going...

We saw your, you know, your eyes going, "What's going on here?".

It kind of made it a bit strange in the boardroom, actually,

because, I mean, it wasn't natural for me

to get into cat fights in those situations but, I mean,

I think week nine was my first time in there

and it was all a bit of an eye-opener.

I don't know where that might have gone,

but funnily enough, it sort of slightly took the steam out of it

from our side because we all thought, "He's probably going to go, here."

You know, that all sounds like Lord Sugar's just not going to touch it

with a barge pole, so I must have been really bad...

LAUGHTER

If it turns out, and presumably we'll find out more

when they go into the business plans,

if it turns out they say, "Who is this partner?" and Jordan

rustles under the table and brings out a glove puppet of himself...

LAUGHTER

"It's Little Jordan. What's that, little Jordan?

"You want to go into business?

"I think we'll go into business, Little Jordan."

Or his dog, or a twin, like, a female twin,

or something really, really weird.

It would be no less surprising

than suddenly presenting them at this point...

-I mean, this was a bit of a shock?

-I mean, that would be one big shock.

In fairness, he should have just kept quiet.

Or he could have almost died in the boardroom, which is

the other thing he tried to do.

LAUGHTER

I thought he kept his secret business partner inside him

and he was going to come up...

-"I'm coming out, save me, save me".

-LAUGHTER

"I want the money!"

What if it actually is Peter Andre?

LAUGHTER

That would be terrifying.

A hell of a twist - comes in singing # Insania... #

He was actually going to be sick, was he, as opposed to coughing?

Maybe he was trying to suppress a cough that then became like a vomit.

Or it was one of these kind of weird things...

It was the worst time, the finger was already up

and then he was like...

HE RETCHES

You know what to do next time!

Next time, if Alan Sugar's pointing the finger at you, you start...

Oooh! You carry on, Alan Sugar... Argh!

Oh, I made a quick recovery, that's great. I'm back in the game.

Do you think there's something in the fact that the two

remaining men have both got beards a bit like Alan Sugar?

I think you have to go back through all the people have won

to find out how many of them have beards a bit like Alan Sugar

and to what extent.

-"Oh, I recognise myself in you."

-LAUGHTER

Are you saying the women have no chance?

Well, possibly one of the women should grow a beard.

Alan Sugar arrives, like, "What, what?!

"I've always had this. I'm just a magician with make-up."

Before Lord Sugar got to Neil's business plan, there was one

lingering doubt he wanted to address.

Neil, can I ask your question?

Are you a one-trick pony as far as sales?

My main skill, Lord Sugar, lies in sales.

I'm not shying away from that.

I've had a record-breaking task when I've led a team

and proved that I can do different things.

I also believe I've got a business plan that will bring us

-a fruitful return.

-What is that business plan?

It's an online estate agency business which I've actually researched

for a year and a half. The competitor that I'm going up against

made £80 million profit last year.

I know that I've got a plan that can compete with that

-and also will actually...

-It'd have to be a bloody good plan, Neil.

I take that on board, but I believe

that I will be the perfect partner for you, Lord Sugar.

What we missed there was the bit where he went, "Innovation,

"creation, operation..."

I thought he was going to

get into a nursery rhyme, go, "Ipadipadation..."

LAUGHTER

It would be nice... We could sit back and go,

"Let's see how many he has.

"Er, action, reaction."

Meanwhile, Jordan sitting behind him going, "Medication!"

LAUGHTER

Without knowing too much of the details,

how does Neil's business plan sound?

Well, everyone thinks when you go online, suddenly millions

of people are going to find your website. It's simply not the case.

So without really knowing the detail behind his plan...

The thing with Neil is that he's quite a steady guy.

There's something about his mannerism

and the way he works that I do like.

He doesn't sort of tend to, you know, not great sparks,

-but he's consistent.

-He's a man of the people.

He's very good at engaging with people,

general public or whatever it might be. People warm to him.

They take to him and I think...

We always had this joke, I was a bit like the overdressed tosser

trying to sell a caravan, and Neil's there, fully supply-teachered up.

LAUGHTER

He is very good with people and they do take to him.

-But that's the essential skill in business.

-Absolutely.

-That's a very important skill.

-Absolutely.

-Even in an online business?

-Yeah.

-Could it be a disadvantage to you?

Well, sometimes even more so, because you are virtual,

but when your customer's virtual,

you have to find another way of connecting with them

and creating a reason for them to come to your site.

-Has Neil impressed you?

-Yeah, I think he has.

He's a hard-core salesman, a top, top business guy.

I wouldn't want to play Monopoly against him, because

every week he's telling everybody about how much he sells

and how much he buys.

He would just grind you into the ground.

But he has got those communication skills.

He's got a balance between being able to sell

-and he kind of warms to people, as well.

-Yeah.

He delivers quite a good mission statement on behalf of Neil Clough.

I mean, he's got a Neil Clough house style, to a certain extent.

That's what Neil Clough does, Neil Clough does that, he delivers,

I have that, that, and I did it, that's what Nick Clough does.

He's delivered all those things, all through the show.

And he's backed himself the whole way, but you can't knock him,

-because he's delivered.

-Through all the discussions that I've had

of things that did or didn't work,

there's one thing we can't take from you, which is

that you are RIPPED. You are ripped, Myles.

Let's have another look at you in your underwear.

# I'm too sexy for my love... #

Myles is incredibly fit. If you see him in the gym downstairs,

blinking heck, it's ridiculous.

Mr Monaco likes to show off his abs quite a lot.

# I'm too sexy for my shirt

# Too sexy for my shirt, so sexy... #

Mr Six-pack, he is in good shape.

We call him Mr Baby-oil.

LAUGHTER

I didn't think bodies like that existed, bloody hell.

He puts me to shame.

APPLAUSE

Listen! Enjoy it, enjoy it. What age are you? 39?

-I'm 40 now.

-I'm 41.

The next year is really tough.

LAUGHTER

Just get the benefit out of it now, because when it goes,

it surprises you.

-It turns quickly.

-Just like that. Literally. You go...

phwoom!

It was great while it lasted. Impressive.

A Paralympic, bronze medal-winning Paralympic athlete.

You are in good shape,

Myles, your training regime must be pretty hardcore.

You look like a modern-day Simon Templar.

You should be getting into the movies.

The one on the wheel is particularly impressive.

I can do the initial bit, down.

Then you're holding a wheel, and you go,

"This is not going to go anywhere."

I climb back down and then, here we go again.

I seem to have found myself back down here.

It's a terrifying thing in that particular exercise,

if somebody is going to just take your legs and wheel you around.

That is very good, when you're not expecting it. Stop, stop.

In this process earlier on, by the way, you did seem

very in control, very competent, very assured about the whole thing.

Not that it ran out of steam, per se, but mistakes began.

Back to task seven in the caravan,

you spent a very pleasant hour and a half

talking to an old man about caravans who asked you every question.

That time you will never get back.

-Can I bring you onto this? You are a parent.

-A bad one, apparently.

It wasn't that you were a bad parent.

-I think it was clearly implied by Alex.

-This, looking back?

I think the demographic we were after,

we were pitching for people who did want to kill their kids.

But I think, you will not believe this,

but when we were looking at that, they are smiling skulls.

What do you think of it?

I can understand what you were trying to do,

trying to appeal to the kids, that sort of influence.

I just think there was a line, and you just kind of went over it.

Yeah, the two skulls kind of, as a mum, your instinct is,

warning, skull.

I understand that, but I think pester power is a massive thing.

But we needed to tie that up...

You made me feel terrible as a parent,

because I would have bought it.

LAUGHTER

It looks great, they're going to love that.

OK, Myles, brace yourself as we hear what Lord Sugar

and your former colleagues have to say about you.

Alarm bells started to ring last week in the ready meals task,

when Myles targeted the wrong type of customer.

However, this week, as project manager, he completely lost

the plot by not stocking the stall and the shop properly.

I think Myles is a great guy,

but sadly, I think that was really weak project management from him

right from the start.

I was actually quite surprised by Myles as project manager,

that he was a bit indecisive.

This task was designed to show me who can build

a business from scratch taking things back to basics.

Myles was not able to do that and that is why he had to go.

-Are they fair comments?

-Definitely, on this task, for sure.

I mean, building a business from the market stall, I think

we have established I am not the bloke.

I guess I have built businesses from scratch before,

and I take away a lot of things from that.

They were fairly nice comments, to be fair,

considering what they could have said.

I did get on well with them and I think there was respect,

and I think it was fair.

OK. Now, let's bask in the triumph of Luisa, Francesca, and Leah.

We have so totally something to prove to those two boys.

Do we go for fashion? Go for quantities.

Stack them high and sell it cheap.

She made sure she had a real mug's eyeful of stuff on that stall.

We have got some great items for you.

We may as well invest the money we have got into more stocks.

-Smell what sells.

-The black-and-white headbands.

-Five of these and four of these.

-Great price.

-£5.

I know you're on the job, but we've got berets for a fiver.

-She is a retailer, and she is doing well.

-Total assets, £809.

-Very well done on this task.

-The final five, and three are women.

It was an impressive performance.

Even selling to the police, when obviously the thing

the police need is a wipe-clean ceramic notepad.

Marigold, I thought.

They could slap someone with a Marigold to challenge them

and then write down their response.

At least they acknowledged her, they blanked us.

They checked you out, because they thought it was a creepy thing.

No wonder the cops are hovering around you.

It was an impressive performance.

What was great is they took a risk when they had the shop,

went out and bought a high-priced item, the dresses, didn't sell,

then went back and kept on buying volumes of what was selling.

I think they had a great strategy, they worked really well

as a team, but they had one thing in common, which was fashion, hats.

They absolutely understood what they were selling

and what their strengths were.

If somebody puts on a hat, you can generally go, "You look great."

If somebody has a wipe-clean ceramic board, it is very difficult.

How can you compliment somebody on that? You can't.

They wore the leggings, the dresses, and the hats.

Sometimes they were wearing a pair of leggings under the dress

with a hat on. They were all about the brand.

At no point did you drape candles over yourself and go,

"Buy this", onto a wipe-clean thing that you dangle off your chest.

I'm just saying you missed an obvious opportunity.

-It is where we went wrong.

-It is.

Luisa was given a stern talking-to last week. Had that had an effect?

I think so.

I think she's definitely evolved in the process, I think

she's got that combination of being a hard saleswoman but also

she can communicate,

and that's what is the biggest part of this whole process,

being able to communicate and get the best out of the

rest of your team, and it is nice to see that her

and Francesca are getting on this week as well.

As we are nearing the end of Lord Sugar's search

for his new business partner, we thought it would be a good idea

to find out what happened to

last year's winner, Ricky Martin, who is with us tonight.

-Hello, Ricky. Lovely to see you. How are you?

-I'm well. Yourself?

Fine, thank you. Nobody ever asks. Very polite.

I'm looking for a job in science, can you get me anything?

-I've got the perfect job for you. We are expanding.

-Lovely stuff.

As am I, constantly.

Before we hear what you've been up to,

let's take a look at a clip from your 2012 showing,

how you went on a bit of a journey yourself through the process.

Here you are in the final four.

Classifying yourself as Thor in the Nordic pantheon. Is that right?

His personal statement and application form

is so absolutely laden with superlatives about himself.

Best business partner on the planet.

However, I read your business plan, and I was quite impressed.

It was interesting, I think it was well written,

a cogent business plan, a sensible business plan.

He's the one who has changed the most through the process.

When I turned up to this process, I had a lot of bravado about me,

and I am very different now.

I think I'm somebody who has channelled his whole

career to the point right now, sitting opposite you,

ready to get my business started.

APPLAUSE

You won the £250,000 investment to set up a recruitment

firm in the science sector. How is that going?

It has been the busiest year of my life.

The company is going well.

I think the reality of The Apprentice is a great platform to get

a new business started, fantastic, but actually, the hardship is

when you actually have the investment and want to go to market.

You might have done well in a process,

but the real world is a different thing.

But the business is going very well.

We've grown bigger than I expected,

moved to a position where we are profitable month-on-month,

and I need another three members of staff in the science

sector so I'm looking. All good.

You work in recruitment, you should be able to find them.

LAUGHTER

Of all people, that seems like a basic test.

"If only there was another science recruitment company we could

"go to to get the people I need for my science recruitment company."

How hands-on is Lord Sugar?

Relatively hands-on with the business,

he gives me a lot of advice, in fact, he comes to me saying,

"What can I do for the business?" more than me going to him.

So I'd say to anyone he is a fantastic asset as a business

person, and he's really helped me to catapult my business, probably

three, four years quicker

than I would have if I did it completely on my own.

How many people are you employing?

I'm employing seven, it is me and seven others.

-Are you still wrestling?

-I've given that up. It's gone.

Although I've left the space for Myles, he can take over.

He would destroy you. Have you seen him?

Captain Monaco, he would come in on a speedboat, be fantastic,

Formula 1 car, brilliant. Good luck with the work.

Congratulations, Ricky Martin.

APPLAUSE

This year, it is Francesca, Luisa, Leah, Jordan

and Neil who will be fighting for Lord Sugar's £250,000 investment.

We asked Wimbledon fans who they would like to see in the final.

I would like to see Leah in the final because she is very consistent,

-and has been doing all her work properly.

-I think Leah's very clever.

Neil has probably been the standout candidate for me.

He's a good leader and he gets the job done.

Really like to see Francesca in the final, I think.

She's been quite good throughout.

I think Luisa is such good competition.

Lots of skill, she works the angles, works the people very well.

-Jordan has proved he is a very good manager.

-Go, Jordan!

-We may conclude that Leah is a very good finalist.

-And Neil.

-You're fired.

-You're fired.

Clearly, they should all be fired apart from that small Indian kid,

he's brilliant! How fantastic is he?!

If you want to know more about these candidates,

there's a special programme

which goes out next Monday night at 9pm on BBC One.

Back to you, Myles - it's time for the vote.

Sarah, do you think Lord Sugar was right to fire Myles?

Myles, I'm sorry to say it,

but I do on this occasion think he made the right decision.

-Ade?

-Myles, you've got skills, great abs,

-but I think Lord Sugar made the right decision this week.

-Hugh?

Well, Myles, I think your name makes you sound like one

of the Knights of the Round Table which I particularly like.

But I think he was right, yeah.

We're going to go to the audience -

if you agree with Lord Sugar, hold up "Fired",

but if you disagree, hold up "Hired".

It is "Fired". My, my, a cold, tough crowd!

"Fired" it is.

Myles, we've been admiring you for ten weeks and we wanted to

give you something that reflected our belief in your innate class

and also the fact that you live in Monaco amidst the Euro-chic

and the very finest of living.

We don't know what possible luxury good can you give the man

who appears to have everything, we racked our brains.

We did pretty well, to be honest. I think you'll be proud.

-Really?

-I think you'll be quite proud to walk around Monaco

in a T-shirt that says,

"I went back to England to be on The Apprentice

"and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

And on the back, it says, "Do you want to buy a caravan?"

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Myles Mordaunt, you made it to the final six, here are your highlights.

-Don't stir that, though.

-Myles is our Bond.

Even on the beer task, he wanted the beer shaken not stirred!

Myles has got the nickname Mr Monaco - when you ask him a question

he refers back to, "You don't do that in Monaco."

Caravans are banned in Monaco.

-Mr Monaco.

-Mr Monaco.

I'm Myles. APPLAUSE

That's the response I was really hoping for.

He is calm, confident, charismatic, cool, he's hot...

Everyone has a good side, and that is the place to start.

Made by our own fair hand with passion. We love the product.

I don't mind making a fool of myself in front of anyone.

-I really love the guy.

-He is just a dream.

-Have you won every single task?

-Yes, I am the lucky charm.

Very happy to be here with you.

If it doesn't work out, I'm getting a market stall.

Ladies and gentlemen, Myles Mordaunt!

APPLAUSE

And that's it from us for tonight.

Thank you to all of my guests. Go to our website at...

..for Matt Edmondson's awkward conversations

with the fired candidates.

It's also where you will find details on how to apply

to be Lord Sugar's business partner in 2014.

It's a fantastic opportunity for anyone with a great business idea

who wants to be in with a chance for a £250,000 investment.

So please give it a go.

Next week, the final five face Lord Sugar's four inquisitors,

but who will be in the running for that ultimate partnership?

What would you do with this?

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

I have this ability inside me that I don't know what to do with.

That's crap.

-I can't see it working like this.

-Tone over profit.

This is disappointing.

-You should know that.

-What's your plan B?

Yeah, she was an idiot.

I may as well put that £250,000 into a slot machine.

Very bad idea.

-Don't compare yourself to Lord Sugar.

-It don't make sense!

It's just farcical.

I'd rather give birth again than do this.

You can leave now.

It's really, really good.

We'll see you at the same time next Wednesday. Good night.

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