Why I Fired Them The Apprentice

Confident...

Every single morning, I wake up with a surge of adrenaline round my body,

because I want to be a global phenomenon.

..driven...

I want the cars, I want the girls, but most of all, I want the power.

..terrifying!

I'm disgustingly ambitious.

I have, like, Teflon skin.

I want to be a great white shark out there in the ocean.

I'm half monkey, half lion, and I'll eat you alive.

I'm in the trees watching you

and if you were in my way, I'd pounce on you and take you out.

11 weeks ago, this year's business bots arrived in London.

In their sights, a £250,000 partnership

with one of Britain's toughest investors...

You talk and talk and talk and talk and talk

and there's no end result. I'm not sure you think before you speak.

-..Lord Sugar.

-You couldn't sell a bone to Battersea Dogs Home.

I'm demanding the answers. You better bloody well supply them.

In front of them were testing tasks...

MOTOR WHIRS

Oh, hang on. Oh, Jesus!

Can you just chill out?

..battering boardrooms...

My God, man, are you as thick as him?

..and an awful lot of shouting.

Do no talk over me! I am talking!

I am not going to be the bitch...!

You are such a manipulator!

I want that stuff in there!

Some soared...

-Well done.

-Your team has won.

THEY CHEER

..others crashed...

We're having a disaster.

-You're breaking my heart.

-I messed up a bit, didn't I?

-No!

-Oh, my God!

..and burned.

With previously unseen slatings from Karren...

If you think this process is a walk in the park, you are much mistaken.

-..and Claude...

-I've never seen such utter chaos in my life.

It just went downhill from there. We're in for trouble.

You're fired. You're fired.

You've dug yourself a very, very big hole.

..Lord Sugar explains...

You're fired.

.."Why I fired them."

It began...

..in the boardroom.

Get your hands out your pockets.

Welcome to the boardroom.

Over here, you see an empty chair.

And if that wasn't frightening enough...

I've got a new advisor.

MUSIC: O Fortuna by Carl Orff

I've known Claude for over 25 years

and if anybody can cut through all the nonsense,

he's my man.

Cast off, the candidates were sent into the night.

Their aim - create fish dishes...

That fish doesn't have a head.

Have you got fresh cod?

..to reel in hungry Londoners.

They could have made it into anything, as far as I'm concerned.

Fishcakes, salads, fish fingers, whatever. I didn't care.

The whole principle was, take the raw material,

process it, then go sell it and make a profit.

Hand on the tiller of her team...

I'll split you into Team Calamari and Team Fish Finger.

..events manager Selina.

-15kg.

-We're looking at 15 kilos.

-15, you've got to do us better than that.

-Gary!

Can we not all jump over me, please?

Eight? Eight?

Gary!

I'm in hell.

This is not my ideal scenario.

-Squid? Do you do squid, mate?

-Try here?

First lesson for Selina's squid squad...

..if a deal sounds too good to be true...

That'll save us a load, perfect.

..it probably is.

Can I say that this is not good quality squid?

-You pay for what you get.

-OK.

Four fish finger sandwiches.

So, in spite of strong fish finger sales...

We may have a little calamari temperature problem.

The cut-price calamari ended up costing them dear.

The long and short of it is it's ruined, we can't sell it.

Gone.

It's actually smelling quite bad.

Eww. On the other team,

Brett obsessed about the spec of his colossal fishcakes.

For some of these, they look really tower thick.

Yeah, we followed the specifications to try and fulfil our portions.

No, I'm saying they look massive.

-As per the ringlet, as per the 2.5...

-In terms of height.

-Yeah, 2.5cm.

-I don't care about the ringlet.

We are doing our jumbo fishcakes,

which is how we will sell them, as jumbo.

And project manager April produced the world's most expensive salads.

-Would you be interested in the salad Nicoise?

-How much is it?

-It's £9.

-No.

-Excuse me, sir, can I interesting you in

a tuna Nicoise salad at all today?

-Not for nine quid you can't, mate.

-No? Not for nine quid?

-Fair enough, mate.

-A price tag so hefty that a first-rate sales pitch

would be essential.

Hello! Are you...are you interested in buying some salad?

-No, thank you.

-Are you...? OK.

Hello, sir, are you interested in a salad?

You know, in business, not everyone's good at sales,

but everyone's a little bit good at sales,

except for Dan.

Hello. Are you interested in buying a salad?

He's been out here for four hours.

Unfortunately, no-one was interested in Dan's salad...

-OK, no worries.

-..at all.

I think we need to start looking at how we did

on the money side of things.

A pathetic profit of only £1.87.

The defeat left Dan dangling.

-Dan?

-Big fat zero. It's atrocious.

-Zero?

Absolutely atrocious, I'm really sorry about...

My sales technique's not the best, I fully accept that.

What are you good at, then?

I'm good at online stuff, that's what my current business is.

His defence was that he can sell online.

That's not good enough, as far as I'm concerned.

You've still got to be commercially minded

and be able to converse with people face-to-face.

Dan, you can't say you cannot sell to the public.

Dan, you're fired.

Thank you.

So rubbish salad sales did for Dan.

Selling face-to-face to people is a basic skill that I require

from all of the candidates.

After a slippery start,

in week two, Lord Sugar decided to teach the teams a lesson.

The task came from one of my very first marketing tasks given to me

when I was a youngster at school

and there was a product called Cream of Cactus.

What one had to do was make an advert

and I wanted to make sure that these candidates in this particular task

did exactly the same thing.

I'm going to give you a shampoo.

No name, no branding and I want you to produce an advertising campaign

for the shampoo's launch.

Generally speaking, these creative tasks,

you need a very strong manager to coordinate the whole lot together.

From the off, it was a tale of two leaders,

with two very different leadership styles.

Aisha ruled with an iron fist...

I just want to say, if anybody is not productive in this team,

at the end of the day and we lose,

they'll be coming in the boardroom with me.

I don't care, so everybody needs to get on board.

Aisha came across to me as someone who doesn't take prisoners, really.

She didn't want to take any nonsense from anyone.

My team have to get in line and they get one chance

and that's it, they're out.

In business, you do also have to listen

to what your team says, from time to time.

This is going to be gold text with a purple outline of a cactus flower.

Are we not thinking the actual cactus fruit stencil?

I do not think that the actual cactus itself is appealing

-on shampoo.

-We don't want to throw you under the bus,

we're just trying to give you our opinions.

I understand that, but I think the cactus flower is better,

so let's move on with that.

On the other team...

I've run a marketing agency for eight years. This is what I do.

..super-slick Richard tried to appear inclusive.

I want everybody to have 30 seconds,

where people can actually pitch their ideas uninterrupted.

A gentleman with hair quite similar to mine

and, slow motion, a woman just looking at his face.

It's cool. We've got that down. Let's go.

But Dicky was being tricky.

Richard occasionally verges a little bit into David Brent.

The creative process, it's like a river

and you've just got to guide it in the right direction.

You think anything manly.

He appears to be operating in a collaborative way.

Something dry, something wet.

What about Manly Moist?

Urgh.

-KARREN:

-He gives everyone an opportunity to put forward an idea,

but he isn't listening to anyone.

-How have I spelled "desert"? With one S?

-One S.

-OK.

He looks like he is.

Personally, I think we should be thinking about a male market.

I think he's pushing very much what he wants all the time.

Well done, you. Well done, you.

In the boardroom...

UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

'Cactus seed oil conditioning shampoo

'helps to retain the moisture in your hair.'

-Hmm.

-..Richard's cactus campaign cleaned up...

Your team has won.

-ALL:

-Yes!

..leaving Aisha showered with criticism.

I've sent you out to come up with a product which talks

about the virtues of the cactus and you've put this thing on here.

'Advertising is very important and, of course, it's very expensive,'

so you can hardly afford to be subtle.

This looks like someone's sneezed with a raspberry in their mouth.

Who was responsible for the design of this product here?

In the end of the day, this was her vision.

Did you watch my lips

when I set the task saying this was a cactus-based product?

Aisha's management was very, very poor.

She was responsible for some of the key failures of that task.

You were project manager of a disaster.

You're fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar.

For Richard, there was a pat on the back.

I will say that, in all the years that I have run this task

in this boardroom, this has got to be one of the best.

It was Richard and his seven assistants, I think.

But it wouldn't be long before Richard's assistants...

Another victory today, I feel.

-You single-handedly won that task, did you?

-..revolted.

I think the quote was, "Richard and his seven helpers," I think.

Yeah, we helped YOU win a task.

With the ironing banter over, down to the next task.

I expect you to be able to negotiate any time,

anywhere and, most importantly, with anyone.

And that includes the French.

The teams had one day to buy nine items.

We need 100 snails bred in France.

'Are you joking?'

Half would stay in Blighty,

the rest would hit the shops of Calais.

Leading the boys, plumber Joseph.

I want to establish who are the top sellers.

Can I say, it's a negotiation, not a sale?

Yeah, selling's negotiation, but flipped the other way round.

Joseph, when he first came into the process,

he came across as a bit of a Jack the lad,

with his 1950s Teddy Boy moustache.

You say you're the master of persuasion with the women.

THEY CHUCKLE

Maybe I should change your name to Valentino.

But in France, there was no love lost between him and Richard.

Just give us a little bit of space.

I actually want to be the charming, bumbling English guy.

Joseph had his work cut out in managing Richard,

who was up there in cloud cuckoo land,

because of his great success on his win the week before.

After you, then, Richard, please.

-Already down to 14.80.

-It already says 14.80 on the sign.

Can we wrap it and move?

-This is a negotiation.

-But I don't feel like you're getting anywhere.

Well, we've got 20p off so far.

-We haven't, cos it says that on the sign, anyway.

-Let's wrap it up.

Richard was royally cheesed off...

I'm not happy with that, at all.

..and things soon descended into a team tiff.

-You led the negotiation. Did you get money off?

-Nah, mate.

Look, we bought the most expensive one.

Stop causing friction. We're trying to move on.

-Guys, guys, guys, this is a waste of time.

-Exactly.

-CLAUDE:

-They seem to be turning on Richard.

Richard hasn't contributed too much so, to a certain extent,

they've got a point.

-RICHARD:

-Joseph, take a breath, mate.

Meanwhile, in the UK...

Aww, mate! All that shit!

..the rest of the team struck gold.

Let's go, boys!

You're a legend.

100 euros for seven.

And after the master of persuasion stepped forward

with the women of Calais...

You've got a beautiful smile.

-180, let's go at 180.

-OK.

You're amazing.

..the boys' teamwork won them the task.

THEY CHEER

I have to say, Joseph did a great job in keeping the team together.

In the boardroom, another loss for the girls

left one person in the spotlight.

Jenny, you didn't buy anything, did you?

I know, it's awful.

-Mussels?

-Jenny's job seemed simple.

-Yes.

-'No.'.

Seek out some mussels on the South Coast.

Restaurant. There's a restaurant there.

-To go into a restaurant and ask them...

-Hi, there.

..to sell you some mussels was ridiculous.

They manager said no, cos it's all we've got left

-and we'd have to take it off the menu.

-Oh, no.

It was a failure that which saw Jenny "musseled" out of the boardroom.

Jenny, I've yet to see anything

that one can actually pin down to you

and say, "That was very, very good."

So, Jenny, you're fired.

But she certainly didn't "clam" up.

Well, I really appreciate the opportunity.

I'm very disappointed to not have shown you

what I'm really capable of, Lord Sugar,

because I think I'd the capability to win this process.

Many of the candidates said they were worried

I was going to be in the final with them.

I'm really sorry I haven't been able to show you that,

but good luck, guys.

And Jenny's poor performance wasn't the girls' only problem.

As I've always said on this process,

work as a team and you'll win.

In France, they'd fought.

Vana, why are you being so difficult?

I just don't like questions that make no sense.

You're right, I shouldn't bring up anything I have an opinion on.

In Dover, they disagreed.

That boat price is ridiculous, it's way too high.

Let's go, let's go, let's move.

Buy the boat.

And in the boardroom, they had bickered.

Oh, Selina, you're just like an irritating wasp at a picnic.

-That's your issue.

-Vana, I don't know why you're laughing,

because it's just not funny. It was chaos, it was unfriendly at times,

it was a shambles.

The women had fought like cats and dogs...

-ANNOUNCER:

-The London Pet Show is now open.

..so it seemed only fitting that the following week...

I want to check out the rabbit show jumping.

..it was off to the London Pet Show.

I do believe that all of you are here for a reason

and that's because we're all a fond lover of animals.

The show's focus may have been our furry friends...

Wow! Let's have a go.

..but excitable puppy David took a gamble...

-Fantastic.

-I really want to sell these.

-..and picked out products...

-Say hello to my giraffe.

-..for people.

-Can I just let everybody know

that the queue is coming this way round, please?

There will be a five to ten-minute wait, if that's OK.

One of the things that I think brought David's team home

as the winner was those balloons.

-I thought they were excellent.

-There's your change there.

-This is for you, young man.

-Not everyone loved them,

-but David's daring choices...

-There's your receipt.

..proved a winning formula.

In the end, it paid off for him.

On the other team...

It's all about access for the cats, you know?

..Scott tried to claw in cash

with products for cats.

I'll go and have a think about it.

-But a slow sales day...

-OK, thank you.

..saw Selina come under scrutiny.

I'm surprised at Selina's performance.

She seems to be either holding back,

or just hasn't got that sales patter or confidence.

The trouble is that she's really shying away from doing the sales.

-MUFFLED:

-Excuse me!

But she certainly woke up in the boardroom.

Selina, I get the feeling that you, kind of, stand back

and try to do the least amount as possible.

Really? I'm sorry, but I thoroughly disagree with that.

I'm certainly not a back-seat person.

I set up my first company when I was 21.

Nobody's helped me with that business.

I've since moved to the Middle East.

I set up a successful, profitable business.

I started to learn that Selina had one face in the boardroom

and another face out on the task.

I've proved myself in business in two different continents.

It's not easy for a woman to work in the Middle East and I've done that.

She did fight for her corner in the boardroom

and that was the reason why I let her stay,

but she had had her card marked, so to speak.

Selina wasn't the only one who'd failed at sales that week.

We're catching people's eyes - "Morning!"

Ruth was a very bubbly character.

It's us, it's them, we're going to build it together

and we're going to be explosive!

She certainly claimed to have had a wealth of experience,

particularly in selling.

Part of her business that she was running at the time

was to train people how to sell.

-I love it!

-Boom!

For me, there's a moment in business where you suddenly get momentum

and that's what I'm after. I'm there, I'm where it needs to be.

I'm suited, I'm booted, come on!

Ruth had a style which stood out from the start.

Gosh, aren't you solid! Ooh, aren't you lovely!

Ruth has a slightly, I have to say, creepy sales technique.

Lovely! And enjoy!

But they are listening to her and they are stopping

and they are buying.

-I bet you know a man that does.

-She made a big noise...

Get a close-up of her.

..as the face of Desert Secret.

Go away! We're filming, we're filming!

Ruthy!

You're rotating like a kebab, Ruth.

And did her bit shovelling... BULL MOOS

..manure. ELLE RETCHES

But Ruth's yapping landed her in the doghouse.

You're a beautiful couple, you're fabulous.

How long have you guys been together?

-Three and a bit years.

-Congratulations.

She just talks too much. It's as simple as that.

When you're selling,

what you need to do is to project your sales pitch...

-I've been married 21 years.

-..and then shut up

and let the person you're selling to make a decision.

The retail price would be just £574.

Quite a lot for us, but...

Ruth, when you try to make your point,

you tend to take the scenic route.

You talk and talk and talk and talk and talk

-and there's no end result.

-What do you want to say to them?

"Please, can you just go away?"

Bottom line, yeah - "You've got no money, sod off."

Regretfully, Ruth, whose CV says she can sell,

didn't sell.

Ruth, you claim to be a salesperson.

Here we are in a sales task and you failed miserably.

So, Ruth,

-you're fired.

-Thank you.

In week five, Lord Sugar upped the ante.

For this particular task, it was a mixture of creativity and sales.

I want you to create a children's book

for three to five-year-olds

and, tomorrow, you're going to sell them to retailers.

Producing this book is like manufacturing any product.

You've got to design it, get it to the manufacturer and then sell it.

There is this theory about Aristotle

thinking plot is the most important...

Cambridge grad Sam got swept up with the story...

I don't know how much you can relate a tragedy in

with children's literature.

..but failed to grasp the plot.

Oh, what if it's in this colony, he's trying on all THEIR shoes

and THEIR clothes and, obviously, they don't fit a Ruffle, whatever.

Then, he stumbles upon a pair of Ruffle-bottomed shoes.

-Aww!

-We've got to try and translate that into something a five-year-old

would still acknowledge.

Timeline was very important and Sam just lost sight.

Dithering and pondering and pontificating is unbelievable.

I really like the, "Where does honey come from?"

My only point is just remember that one point.

-He needs to go...

-I'm sorry, but I've got two minutes.

On the other team, Charleine found her villain in Richard.

-..a couple of things...

-Richard! I'm going to have to stop you.

The thing with Richard is that

he thinks that he's better than everyone.

Richard, I'd like you to be deputy team leader.

I would like David to feed back what the focus group says to me.

I've got Richard, who feels he's in power,

but actually David's going to be the one giving me the information back.

Can you stop talking one second, Richard? Is David there, please?

And just like that...

Who am I speaking to?

-It's Richard.

-I want to hear David.

-Just leave us to it, please!

-Please, Charleine,

please could you stop asking David to speak to you on the phone

when I'm speaking to you?

Richard was rapidly written out of the story.

Boys, it's been nice working with you, but I'm going to go.

-I'll go down a coffee.

-See you later.

On Sam's team...

I wanted Natalie and myself to do the pitch,

cos Natalie has experience with this particular book retailer.

SHE COUGHS ..Natalie swerved the big pitch.

I'm just concerned that if I stand up there to do a pitch

and go croaky or cough, I'll look ridiculous.

Natalie pulled out of the pitch and didn't help her team,

which, quite frankly, is not on.

You're going to trade?

I think I'd feel more comfortable doing that, yeah.

But even a small shop...

So do you get many parents in here who bring their children in?

..proved too big a challenge.

-What do you want to know?

-My discount percentage,

which allows me to determine my profit margin.

OK, let me have a think.

The bedrock of business is to get your numbers right

and, even with small retailers,

Natalie made a complete hash of it.

I'm sorry. Actually, do you know what, guys?

I'm going to stop you here, because I don't think this is for Hackney.

I have to say, I think that's one of the worst meetings

I've ever attended or witnessed.

Natalie was supposed to lead the pitch, but she did a terrible job.

The product looked as though someone had sat on it on the way here,

she didn't engage with the customer,

she didn't know the figures

and then they storm out.

-NATALIE:

-Well, that was a waste of time.

It wasn't the first time that Natalie had fumbled a pitch.

Good morning, everyone.

We're delighted to be here today.

Now, we've got a secret to share with you all today.

A secret from the desert.

Desert Secret.

I understand, Natalie,

that you had a little problem with one of the pitches?

Yeah, it didn't got very well.

-I will be the first to admit that.

-SHE COUGHS

-It couldn't have been any worse.

-OK.

What I like about people in business

is if they're straightforward, no nonsense.

Natalie was a little bit too blunt.

This is one of the shops that you messed up in

-when you didn't do a pitch properly?

-Yeah, that's right.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, that's correct.

It'd be like talking to a little kid - "No. Yeah. No. Yeah."

In the end, Natalie's one-word answers...

You just haven't shown me enough.

..were met with two words from Lord Sugar.

You're fired.

The halfway point.

Time for the candidates to get their hands dirty.

I will never ask anybody to do anything that I can't do myself.

This was a very interesting task. It was a handyman task.

Didn't have to be a skilled contractor or anything.

It's the type of things you could do yourself,

but you can't be bothered,

so I'm going to get someone to do it for me.

The team set off in search of odd jobs.

-Hang on, ooh!

-Common sense prevails.

Project manager Elle won a contract to make over a costume department.

How long are we thinking it's going to take time-wise?

Joe, how long do you reckon it'll take to...

Erm, to make one of those,

I'd like to allow half and hour to 45 minutes per one.

-And she cast Joseph in the lead role.

-What price would you put it at?

I'd put 150 a day per person.

Elle was made project manager of this task

because this is what she does, she manages jobs like this,

but I've seen no evidence of it.

She's relying on Joseph.

There is another paintbrush, so if you want to paint, yeah?

-I can't do anything.

-Just paint in an area, just get it covered.

I'm not sure what she's doing.

Urgh!

And in the boardroom, Elle failed to build a winning case.

Not a good result.

When you got the deal for the theatre, did you progress,

say, "Who's cutting the rods, who's cutting this?"

With all due respect, that's a foreman's responsibility

-and I stand by...

-He was the foreman?

I put Joseph in the position, he knew the most about it

and it was the right decision to make.

'Six losses on the trot.'

I'd heard enough and I had to get rid of Elle there and then.

Sounds to me that you relied totally on him, in the end.

-Yeah.

-In fact, there's no point carrying on, Elle.

You're fired.

Thank you very much for the opportunity.

Karren, Claude, thank you.

Lord Sugar was just getting started.

April, where's your business acumen here?

£7 to clean a window?

-Three of you.

-Clearly in hindsight, it was an error.

Then, I tried to learn from that.

April was undone by business basics.

I can't see you as my business partner.

So, April, you're fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar. Thank you, Karren and Claude.

And then, there was Mergim.

-How can I help?

-I want to offer you a once in a lifetime opportunity.

-Is it fish?

-It's fish.

-We are a vegan restaurant.

-Between fishy faux pas...

You tried to sell fish to a vegan.

You're having a good day, aren't you?

Down to the West Side!

-..and his passion for poo...

-The smell is beautiful.

..Mergim stood out from the start.

Mergim is a very nice chap.

In a nutshell, he came to me too early, I think.

Sadly, one wonky shelf would prove his undoing.

What I need is a bigger nail.

-Mergim?

-Yes?

-Do you know what you're doing?

Yeah. Screwing a nail.

-Screwing a nail?

-Yeah.

-I don't think you screw a nail.

Having had his DIY skills dissed by Karren...

I did say it was probably her wall, as well, Lord Sugar.

-Something wrong with her wall?

-Yeah.

..Mergim tried to make light of things.

There's times for clowning around, there's times to have fun.

All work and no play can make people very dull.

But I think he just needs to work out the balance.

Mergim...

it is with sincere regret

that you're fired.

Thanks a lot for the opportunity, guys. Thank you.

In this particular process,

I'm afraid to say that he didn't have the credentials.

Just over halfway...

-IN POOR MANCHESTER ACCENT:

-Manchester!

Manchester!

..the candidates headed north.

This task was all about the fact that pound shops

have become very fashionable.

They had to put products in their shops

which attracted customers to them as loss leaders.

Put some things here as an impulse buy.

..to make them buy other products which had high margin on them.

While stocking up for Scott's team,

private tutor Sam took charge of the figures.

-Total price of £333.70.

-Yeah.

-Let's do it.

I love words, I love poetry and communication

and I like Shakespeare.

But I'm not particularly good at maths. It's not my strong suit.

Total amount is 368.36.

Is it not? Hold on.

-But Sam's sums...

-Should have been lower.

..didn't add up.

This is a man who's a tutor,

who must have passed the maths examination

to get all the accreditations he got at university.

If you're a tutor, surely you should know how to count.

What we'll have to do is take a couple of products off,

if that's OK with you.

Running the other team...

We're going to walk the shop together,

then we're going to walk the customer journey.

..former retail supremo Gary.

-This is our toilet world.

-Next.

The house world.

Does Jammie Dodgers go with washing powder?

-No. Somehow, Gary's toilet world was a sales success.

-£2, please, sir.

Well done, guys, top effort.

On the other team, Scott's lot were falling apart.

-I just don't think that looks good.

-I think it's clear.

-Selina.

-What? I didn't touch it.

God.

Their store's called Discount Haven,

but really it is a den of discontent.

If you put bland items in the front,

people are just going to keep on walking past.

-People are not buying that product.

-OK, listen to me.

-I want that stuff in there.

-Speak to me like that again...

-I want that stuff...

-That's boring.

-I would like that stuff in that.

-That's fine.

Thank you.

Scott's just completely lost control

and actually, the team has descended into mistrust, miscommunication

and there's a really bad atmosphere in the store.

-SELINA:

-Whatever, whatever.

They were backbiting,

they were only thinking about what they were going to do for themselves

and I think that's one of the reasons their team lost.

It's a bargain store. We've got household goods for just a pound.

For the second day running, Sam failed to shine.

Self-tan wipes, they're really good.

-Do I look like I need a tan?

-Come on. Well, no.

Let's be serious.

And in the boardroom, Scott took aim at Sam.

Where was you helping other people and the team

-and stuff that you talked about now?

-My attitude was positive.

I don't actually particularly like working with you, Sam.

-You're not here for serious business.

-That's ab...!

-How dare you sit there and say that?

-OK.

-I think it's outrageous.

Sam - highly-qualified academic,

but constantly getting the maths wrong.

Sam, you messed up on calculations yet again.

Obviously, the calculations, I messed up.

I hold my hands up to that.

Really not the calibre of person that I need for my business partner.

It is with regret, Sam, that you're fired.

Thank you. Thank you, anyway. Thank you.

The next week, having proved himself the prince of pound shops,

Gary got a second shot at the top job.

Gary, you want to start an events company,

so I'm going to suggest that you are the project manager again.

-DAVID RAPS:

-# You chuck it around You're going to pull it back... #

But could Mr Corporate cut it at a kids' party?

We need to get the atmosphere going.

# In, out, in, out Shake it all about... #

-Do you know that song?

-KID:

-That's old!

His business idea was putting on events.

This was custom-made for him.

Gary had lofty ambitions...

Some people do call me Gary the Giraffe, cos I'm a bit tall

and a bit like that.

..but it was former ropes instructor David who stuck his neck out.

I do have a background in working at children's camps

and if we've got to lead these activities in the morning,

you're going to need a professional to do it and, quite frankly,

I am that professional.

A few rules, before we start the game.

You are not allowed to go round the back.

You are not allowed to climb to the top.

And under David's watchful eye, fun was thin on the ground.

Just do it so it's nice and tight, but it's comfortable, as well.

David and Gary are taking it very seriously,

but so seriously I think they've forgotten this is a party.

I've heard lots of safety instructions.

Yes, that's very important, but not a single laugh all morning.

A maximum of two people at any one time.

The parents were very disappointed.

They thought it was dull, dull, dull.

Is it possible to just get the atmosphere going a little more?

-Yeah, yeah, sure.

-Just sort of motivate them.

-..two, one.

-KIDS:

-Happy birthday, Jamal!

Gary's team forgot the golden rule of party planning.

It's not all about profit, it's about customer satisfaction.

# You put your left hand out... #

It's a very important thing.

Your customer has to be happy, because you have to think about

the long term of your business. A recommendation, for example.

-Did you like that?

-No.

On Selina's team...

I looked at it as, "How can I make the most profit?"

I would actually like to try and come in about 500-600 quid.

..Richard was all about the budget.

I was thinking afternoon tea.

She is a tomboy, but she's also quite a mature young lady.

I'm your figures man, so I'm just going to tell you the facts.

Barbecue food - cheap.

I'm leaning towards afternoon tea.

Selina and Richard were pulling in different directions on this task.

Selina had some aspirations of glitzing up certain things,

whereas Richard was, kind of, saying,

"Hold on a minute. Let's keep our eye on the costs."

'Hi, guys!' We've got the gift items for the gift bags

and we're looking at a cost price of about £10 per bag.

You're breaking my heart at that level.

I'm really sorry, we have to go.

Richard likes to be in charge, even though he's not in charge.

£10 a party bag?! Are you serious?!

What are putting in there? Diamond rings?

Despite being at each other,

it seemed to have worked in their favour,

cos they won the task.

OK, and make a wish!

Let's get the party started, shall we, boys?

Three, three-four-five.

Meanwhile, back on Planet Gary,

a plan to maximise profits...

-with memorabilia.

-That one's not come out very well, at all.

Did you follow the instructions?

Yeah, of course. The "happy birthday" is back to front.

-BLEEP,

-yeah.

-You obviously ordered ten T-shirts.

-Yeah, yeah.

Uh, a couple of the T-shirts that we did earlier didn't go to plan.

To be honest, Gary, it's not the quality that we were looking for.

I think it's a no.

David's poor printing

meant the writing was on the wall.

-They're going to come on to us hard for these T-shirts.

-Yeah, I know.

For that reason alone, David, you're coming in with me.

I don't want to dance around the bush,

unless I hear anything different. 'I've highlighted David.'

He left a sour taste in the client's eye, at the end of the day.

David, I wish you well,

but I have concluded that you are not going to be my business partner.

You're fired.

David messed up the printing of the T-shirts. They were ridiculous.

That's why David had to go.

Throwing a kids' party would seem like child's play

compared to what was coming.

Lord Sugar was about to up the stakes.

This is the highest ticket value item

we've ever sold on The Apprentice.

You're talking hundreds of thousands of pounds.

For this task, you're going to sell the priciest product of them all -

property.

And he was about to make things even tougher

for two candidates, in particular.

It wasn't a secret to me that Selina and Charleine were locking horns.

Selina, go over to Versatile.

I did it deliberately,

because one of the qualities of business

is to see whether you can work with people,

even though you don't personally like them.

To prevent feuding, project manager Joseph had a plan.

My initial thoughts of splitting the teams

are myself and Selina to go to the high-end...

Put the girls on opposite sides of London.

-..and Charleine and Gary to go to the mid-range.

-OK.

Marketing million-pound apartments in Stratford,

-Selina struggled.

-As you can see, it is a very stunning design.

-And what does this look on to?

-Um...

-I like a good aspect.

-Do you mind if I show you that after?

-Sure.

I need to look at the positioning of the building to show you

which way the apartments face.

Selina's not one for detail.

Those things are particularly important

when you're selling luxurious apartments for £1 million.

So how do you feel about reserving

one of these fantastic properties, Annabelle?

-I think, for me, it's not going to be today.

-Mm-hm.

-But flogging flats in Lewisham...

-South-facing.

..Charleine was a real estate revelation.

-Do you want to snap this one up tonight, before it goes?

-Yep.

Yep, perfect.

I am ecstatic.

-Congratulations, it's a pleasure doing business with you.

-Thank you.

£350,000!

Yeah! You could buy a street in Wales for that money!

Well done.

Not that everyone was celebrating.

No disrespect to Charleine, this is not an easy sell.

She's very good on pushing on certain sales,

but I don't feel that she's necessarily got better skills

than you or I have.

Selina has a very manipulative way about her,

to try and make people think that something's not her fault.

-Come on in.

-On the other team...

-These are obviously the walls.

..Scott lost the plot.

This area here would be for your washing machine and also...

Sorry to interject. This is actually your wardrobe space.

Secondary to that is where your washing machine and that would be.

This would be walking into the dining room.

-Scott, it's the lounge. The dining room would be...

-Sorry.

-The lounge.

-Scott's making a terrible mess of things.

It's clear he hasn't read the spec.

I think the woman left completely bewildered.

And a nice, open space for the windows,

to have the sun come in throughout the day and the night.

In Canary Wharf, Richard and Vana were selling the dream.

Thank you so much for coming down

and seeing us today. Really appreciate it.

You've been chosen as one of the exclusive customers

that we've called today.

My husband's going to kill me.

-Thank you very much.

-Bought yourself a great property.

When the big shot rolled in...

I'm Vana, nice to meet you.

..Vana went the extra mile...

-We're, literally, doing everything we possibly can.

-Let's go for it.

Fantastic, guys. That's great.

-You've got yourself a great property.

-Thank you.

-Take care.

-Take care, bye.

..banking a £1.4 million deal.

That's amazing!

The team were showered in glory.

You sold over £4 million-worth of property.

Very well done, indeed.

But Scott threw in the towel.

It's all right, I'd just like to quickly say,

thank you for the opportunity.

I would like to exit the process, at this point.

Well, it's your choice, if you want to.

So, all I can do is thank you very much indeed,

for putting yourself forward,

because you've actually made life a little bit easier for me, OK?

Scott decided that he wanted to leave the process there and then

and I think it's a case of him recognising,

looking around the other colleagues in the process,

that perhaps, he himself felt he was out of his depth.

Thank you very much.

My God!

I had no argument with him. I let him go because,

had he been on the losing team, he would definitely have gone.

I'm off.

He didn't deserve to stay in this process.

-He's gone.

-He's been floundering for weeks, really.

Beaten by a margin of over £2 million,

the losers went to the cafe for a quiet chat.

Do not talk over me! I am talking, OK?!

Do not talk over me, right?

..to ask the questions.

The moment it went wrong, Joseph, I snatched the phone off you.

You are such a manipulator!

I've never met anybody like you!

You're very clever, but I can see straight through you,

straight through you.

On this particular task,

Joseph did a good job in keeping them apart,

but when it got to the boardroom, things exploded.

I just had to deal with Charleine screaming at me

-for five minutes in a cafe...

-Because you don't let me speak.

No, both of them screaming at me and making personal insults.

This is the first time in nine weeks I've worked with you

and I've heard very bad feedback from everybody.

I work in an industry where it's to do with performing

and happiness and enthusiasm.

How do you think I'm the negative one in this group?

-LORD SUGAR:

-Why is it that people have got this opinion of you?

Quite honestly, the main issue is Charleine

and I feel like she's quite manipulative and I'm probably not

someone that's trying to win a personality contest here.

Trust me, no-one's winning any personality contest here.

You know, Selina was always in a strop.

Always complaining, always moaning about someone else.

Nothing was ever her fault.

And I've heard about the side of her out on task.

It was time for her to go.

Selina,

you've certainly managed to alienate a couple of people here,

in this process - more than a couple, from what I can understand.

We are not going to make it, Selina.

You're fired.

OK.

Thank you.

After record sales, the candidates dived into the next task.

-Good morning.

-ALL:

-Morning, Lord Sugar.

The UK is a nation of snackers.

Both teams had to come up with a healthy snacks,

then go and pitch them to leading retailers.

But their hopes of success were about to be sunk.

5g of Himalayan salt.

Maybe some smoked paprika. Or-egano?

Oregano.

Brett hoped glory tasted like vegetable crisps...

-That's

-BLEEP

-beetroot, as well, that's going to stain.

..while Charleine whipped up superfood snack bars.

My aim now is to produce a tasty bar that houses the main ingredients.

And what do we end up with?

KARREN COUGHS

The biggest load of toot you've ever seen in your life.

This particular flavour is red onion crunch, so it has onion...

Brett's oily crisps failed to impress.

You went to retailer with this?

-Yes, Lord Sugar.

-With this?!

-Yeah.

-Look at it!

You used more oil in there than I had in my old moped, as a kid.

And Charleine's snack bar got a mouthful.

It's the only snack that looks the same

going in as it will look like coming out later.

Looks like a sample of the soil from Chernobyl.

So, Karren, let's hear how Versatile got on.

No orders.

-Conexus.

-The superstore, interestingly enough,

didn't place any orders.

No orders, also?

In the previous task, they sold £6 million of products.

This week, both teams sold nothing.

Zero.

I'd have preferred one of your teams to have won.

This is a first-time event.

Never before had both teams sold nothing.

So, where did it all go wrong?

I think I want to just add a touch more berries to it.

In Charleine's kitchen, a relaxed approach to recipes.

Did you weigh those?

These, no, because I'm going to go with

what I think is best without overdoing it.

How do I know what I'm doing?

I'm slightly worried about Charleine.

She clearly wants to do well, but she doesn't seem to be in control.

She's struggling with the measurements,

she's struggling with the consistency.

I don't think she's got any taste buds, cos let me tell you,

I tried that product and it was not good.

When do you think you'll be able to get this recipe over to us?

I've just made one mix.

I've got the other two to make

and I need to make sure they're spot on, OK?

Her kitchen calamities led to a labelling disaster.

"Superfood snack, high antioxidant."

Superfoods are sources of antioxidants,

but do not appear in sufficient quantities, so the problem is,

we haven't put enough in the product, that's the reason why.

-Right.

-It is on there. We've got to take it off.

One of you guys starting to mark these out?

-Crumbly already.

-Then, consumer feedback...

-So, so dry.

..left a bitter taste.

It tastes like a blended-up Cornetto.

-Oddly, that wasn't what the buyers were looking for.

-Morning.

-So, at the pitches...

-It's very crumbly.

-They are a bit crumbly.

-..all hope dried up.

-Do you like it?

-No.

On Team Veg Crisp,

navy man Brett tried to steer the ship.

Oh, you can taste that garlic, though.

-Too much?

-That's enough.

The situation's stressful. You're not going to get away with that.

Everything's about measurements, calculations, percentages.

But he failed to control Vana's heavy hand.

Hang on a minute.

-50g of olive oil.

-I don't think that's right.

I put over 100g.

-That's 150g.

-I know, but this is a separate one.

When Brett moved from kitchen to pitchin'...

Hi, guys, are you all right? Feel free to have a look.

..his sales patter was as rubbish as his snack.

We, as passionate people, who go for the health industry,

we're passionate about our product

and our product is passionate to be in a position where it needs to be.

We're a vegetable crisp, bursting with flavour.

-Over the weeks...

-Come and get your white cod fishcakes here.

Tartar sauce, rocket salad.

..Brett's use of language had become the stuff of legend.

I'm trying to acquire 30kg of manure.

-'What do you want that for?'

-Um, for fertilisation purposes.

On tasks, he talked tough.

Guys, in all fairness, too many hands are spoiling it.

You're getting ones like that which are coming out,

which just looks crap.

In the boardroom, he was baffling.

I genuinely, categorically,

did not stipulate, with any other specification

than that recipe and the way it was meant to be put together.

And under pressure, he swore like a sailor.

I shit you not,

Karren was there, and she absolutely got her ass in her hands

that Karren was there and she faltered.

But despite being three times in the bottom three...

We've all managed to get this far through the process

and everyone's got to self-preservate.

You should get a dictionary, some of the words you come out with.

..he'd always manage to talk his way out of trouble.

Use all your tools and you'll get some sales.

This is the biggest one we've got.

Until now.

The recipes include very, very natural nutrients,

which give us the calibration of the ratios to the amounts

of what we could actually incorporate into our product.

Brett's performance is woeful.

It's not that he's not trying, it's that he's trying too hard.

Brett wasn't the only culpable candidate.

It has a slightly greasy feel to it.

Normally non-stick Richard tripped up, too.

Where does it tell me that this is different to kettle crisps?

Um, that perhaps needs to go on to the back of the bag, yes.

The product was crap. On top of that,

it was the wrong description.

It was supposed to be raw and dehydrated,

yet it made no reference to that on the packaging.

That was down to Richard.

When it came to the crunch,

Richard's back-seat driving landed him in Lord Sugar's sights.

This "expert" in marketing here

has not projected, in any way or form, on this product

what the hell it's all about.

Richard, Tricky Dicky,

it puts a big question mark in my mind, I have to be honest with you.

But in the past weeks, you have taken control of a lot of the tasks.

In the end, it was Brett who got thrown overboard.

All I hear from you is, "Richard's done a good job."

Also, your pitch to the fitness chain was terrible.

It's very commendable being honourable,

being a decent fellow and all that type of stuff.

I'm going to have to let you go from the process and say, "You're fired."

Thank you for everything, it's been amazing.

-Take care, guys, bye-bye.

-Bye.

But in this particular case, it was a complete mess-up

and he'd been in the process long enough to know what to do

and what not to do and that's why I had to let him go.

-We're through to the final five.

-Congratulations!

The victors might have celebrated,

but the toughest challenge was yet to come.

After ten knackering tasks...

..and 13 rivals shaved off like unwanted bumfluff...

-HE CHANTS:

-I'm going to win! I'm going to win!

You're so annoying!

..five survive.

Lord Sugar's 250 grand was so close they could almost taste it.

-Good morning.

-ALL:

-Good morning, Lord Sugar.

But it wasn't over yet.

Today, you are going to present your business plans

to four of my advisors.

MUSIC: Ironside by Quincy Jones

Every inch of their business plan, every entry on their CV,

forensically dissected by Lord Sugar's crack team.

It sounds incredibly unrealistic to me.

"I'm the definition of success." Are you serious?

Are you going to cry?

To make matters worse, Claude was back in the penthouse of pain.

You've been a bit slippery and a bit political.

-I want my mum!

-And back to his old brutal self.

This looks a bit like a homework project for your MBA

and not a very good one, actually.

Oh, my God, that was so hard!

I can do this.

Heading into the lift of broken dreams was former petty naval officer

turned hairdresser, Charleine.

Her big ambition - to grow her Plymouth hair salon

into a national beauty franchise.

Your business plan - explain it to me.

A training academy in London, with a fully-working salon at the side.

Charleine - a very vivacious character.

I really, really liked her and I'm sure everybody else did, also.

To be successful, I'd need to open a training academy in the London area

and franchise out from that.

Her idea - we would open a big chain of hairdressing shops.

"I will be a worldwide brand."

Yes.

-No.

-"I will be able to turn Lord Sugar's £250,000 investment

"into 350 million."

Uh, no.

"I will top Toni & Guy."

Uh, no, not at all.

Very big statements.

You're going from one small, provincial salon

to opening an academy.

I mean, who's going to know your name?

I'm not convinced.

I'm not convinced.

She was, um, a little fish, if you like,

in a very, very big pond.

I'm not going to say that, tomorrow, I'm going to open

and I'm just going to be this big massive chain.

It's going to take time, so I would move to London.

They charge phenomenal prices

compared to, obviously, us down in Plymouth.

But, Charleine, you can't just bowl up in High Street, London,

and open up a shop and say, "Hello, Charleine's here,"

and people are going to come into your salon.

Charleine, the difficulty you have is competition.

-Yes.

-You come to London and you'll be swallowed up.

Maybe.

So, it showed a, kind of, air of naivety about her.

I've listened to what you've had to say.

I think you should pursue those additional branches.

It is with regret, Charleine,

that you're fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar. Thank you, Karren. Thank you, Claude.

Although she was very enthusiastic,

I could see that she wasn't going to be the calibre of person

I required as my business partner.

Next under the microscope was ex-big corp bot Gary...

-LIFT:

-'Doors open.'

..pitching his plan to transform into full-time disco dad.

So, Gary clearly held up a very responsible job

in one of Britain's leading retailers, no question of that.

Let's look at your CV. It says you led over 600 people. Is that true?

-Absolutely. In terms of leading...

-You were 600 people's boss?

600 people danced to the tune of my development programme.

Your reference said that, when you left,

you were only in charge of three people,

so what happened to the other 597?

Things were about to get a lot worse for Gazza.

You say you were responsible for a property spend of £1 BILLION?

That's correct. Just over, yes.

It's, kind of, hard to believe that somebody

with your experience would be in charge of such a budget.

-Are you guilty of embroidering the truth a little?

-Absolutely not.

-Your references have said you didn't actually oversee budgets.

-I mean...

you could say the CEO of the company

was ultimately accountable for that budget.

Then, the spotlight landed on his plan for global disco domination.

Your business plan, Celebration Disco,

"the new global entertaining business."

-Yes.

-Just for me to understand,

it's a mobile disco, right?

As it stands at the moment, yep.

Very, very successful, predominantly in the West Midlands.

I really want to tackle events and entertainment globally.

How are you going to do that?

At the moment, you're just a mobile disco, aren't you?

You're far from a global event planner.

For Gary, the party was finally over.

His business plan was very close

to one of the tasks in which he messed up on.

Your business plan is flawed.

I don't understand it, at all.

My instinct was that a leopard doesn't change its spots.

But it is with regret, Gary,

that I can't go into business with you and you're fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar, for the opportunity.

-The moment had come.

-Let's do this.

-Good luck.

Richard's date with destiny was upon him.

I feel totally prepared for these interviews.

The master of modesty headed upstairs.

I am a top-performing candidate.

I've got a business plan that's really cutting edge.

He's in the 21st century world of hi-tech business and all that stuff.

-Tricky's grand plan - the mysterious "Project X".

-"Project X...

"..is a fully managed and implemented business growth campaign

"that starts with a focused base-camp strategy session

"to remove the clouds from the client's business growth mountain."

That's what differentiates us

from other marketing agencies out there.

Cliches and words and all that type of stuff rolls off his tongue.

"Strategized with you, implemented for you."

God.

-Business nonsense.

-It's like a bad 1980s marketing book.

It's mumbo jumbo.

When Claude and my other advisors dived into his business plan,

it wasn't very, very clear

as to what he's actually offering to do with me.

I think we should move on to Project X...

-Yes.

-..cos I haven't got a bloody clue what it's about,

I have to say.

I think you're the type of guy that feels you can write

a lot of bullshit and no-one will see the truth underneath.

That's what I think you've done here.

It was quite concerning that we never really understood in the end

what his business was all about and how it was going to work.

Despite being utterly ambiguous...

This concept is unique.

It's not unique at all, though, Richard, is it?

Because you've already posted this on social media before.

..it became clear that Project X wasn't exactly original.

What you're suggesting here, what you're trying to sell to Lord Sugar

as being a completely unique approach, isn't.

It's something which has the branding

of your previous company on here.

HE GROANS

So, the idea of what he's trying to present here to you, Alan,

is something that's completely new.

-It's false.

-That's an example of Tricky Dicky.

When it came to the boardroom,

Richard's past performance counted for nothing.

Richard, it's quite clear that your existing business and proposed one

is exactly the same, so I'm going to give you another opportunity.

Does the old business amalgamate in - yes or no?

No.

If you come into business with me, you've got to concentrate 100% on me

and not have another side business.

That's the first time you've been straight with us here, really.

That's an improvement.

So, conflict of interest between the two businesses, possibly, then?

That's one of the reasons why I thought to myself,

"Perhaps this guy's not for me."

Richard...

you're fired.

Thank you very much. Thank you, Karren. Thank you, Claude.

Thank you, Lord Sugar.

Good luck, guys.

Very well done, the pair of you.

-OK? Off you go, back to the house.

-Thank you.

And then, there were two.

Hoping to light up the final...

I love selling so much, I think I can take us to win.

..plumbing and heating entrepreneur...

Let's go and win this task.

..Joseph Valente.

If there was ever a glowing example

of somebody who learned through the process,

who adapted and showed his true business skills and work ethic,

Joseph is one of those people.

No messing about, no stopping. Literally, hitting it,

solid, yeah? I think you should get this one.

WHOOPING

Hold tight!

Looking to get lonely hearts pumping...

Where are you from, by the way? Are you Italian?

From Brazil! OK. I'm from Colombia.

..and make a tonne of money in the process...

I passionately believe that.

..social media entrepreneur Vana Koutsomitis.

Vana, right from the very start,

came across as a very, very intelligent and worldly young lady.

SHE SPEAKS MANDARIN

-Merci beaucoup.

-Thank you.

Her business plan is to do with