Why I Fired Them The Apprentice

They all wanted to win.

Some would use their brains.

Normally, I'm the smartest person in the room.

I scored high enough on an IQ test to be called an official genius.

Some would get physical.

In business, I am like a bulldog.

If you mess with me, I do have lockjaw.

Some had a game plan.

I'm going to flirt with Karren, Claude,

and I'm going to flirt with Lord Sugar, and he's going to love it.

And some were a bit loopy.

I'm going to throw people under the bus,

I'm going to throw people over the bus.

I'm going to get on the bus, take the wheel and run everyone over.

OK. 11 weeks ago, 18 cannon fodder faces began an arduous quest.

The prize - a quarter of a million pounds investment

with a business giant.

I'm looking for a business partner that's going to take £250,000 and

build something big.

-But to win...

-Go on, Sarah!

..they faced challenge after challenge...

Are we going to win this?!

That's a failure.

..and bruising boardroom bashings...

I'm not asking you to do quantum physics calculations,

the work was rubbish.

..all the while trying to be calm...

Make some patties, man. Make some patties.

Get out of the way, get out of the way!

If I didn't laugh, I'd probably combust.

-..be cool?

-Here, massive poos.

-Burgers!

-And make their point.

Just to be really, really clear with you, we named the prototype Jeffrii.

It refers to itself as Jeffrii. From then on, everything is Siimon.

Hello, I'm Jeffrii.

This is a bloody shambles.

Too much chaos. Too much chaos.

Do I look like I've come from the planet Mars?

To infinity and beyond!

I'm looking for the best business partner.

It's as simple as that. It was boring, boring, boring.

Tonight...

It looked like you couldn't even run a bath.

..Lord Sugar explains...

You're fired. You're fired.

You didn't follow the money.

-You're fired.

-..Why I Fired Them.

His words, not mine.

11 weeks ago...

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

-ALL:

-Good afternoon, Lord Sugar.

..the candidates got their first taste of the daunting desk of doom.

We are in strange times now.

I mean, we've got Brexit.

And Lord Sugar laid it on the line.

Be under no illusion, in this process I am the one who decides

who is going to remain and who's

going to leave.

The winner of this process

will get a quarter of a million pound investment.

It is a life-changing opportunity.

First task is always difficult. I like to make it rather easy.

You are going to manufacture your own burgers before selling them to

the public and the trade.

Very, very simple.

You go and buy some meat, you mince it up, you make some burgers.

It's a profit task, OK?

Keen to make a whopper of a profit for the girls...

My feeling is that we should go for luxury USP.

..Sarah took to the role of PM with relish.

We're going to Canary Wharf, we're going to charge about £5 a burger.

-We should be OK.

-In the factory...

Get some ice on the go. Chilling out in the kitchen.

..the girls struggled to bang out their burgers.

This is awful.

And the mincemeat looked more like pate than a patty.

This shouldn't be this sticky, yeah?

The meat has come out like some kind of gloop.

Something's gone wrong clearly in the system.

-Let's stay calm, let's stay calm.

-It's just absolute chaos.

Yeah, don't worry, girls. Elizabeth will beat it into submission.

-You go for it, girl.

-If I bash this enough, we won't have to re-mince.

The girls did the right thing. They got out of the kitchen quickly...

We need to go now.

..to meet the lunchtime rush, and they sold like crazy.

They are £4.95 for the steak burger.

They were quick to pull in the punters with the pounds.

-I'll have a steak burger.

-Perfect.

-What are you doing?

-I'm trying to give a chicken burger...

-That is not cooked.

-I know it's not.

There were too many cooks in the kitchen...

Please don't turn them, there is no need to turn them.

You don't turn them on the grill.

You're embarrassing yourself. Calm down.

But nevertheless, the girls made a meaty profit.

Last people there. Go! Go! Go! Burgers!

Leading the boys...

We're mincing!

..Danny had bitten off more than he could chew.

Let's get a move on.

Boys, don't stop pressing burgers, please.

The market location is now available.

Make some patties. We can't sell nothing.

There was just too many people talking and no matter how many times

you tell them, they just won't shut up.

Although Danny was the Project Manager,

a very brave move, you know, I think they were all trying to impress.

Go sell, get some money in the till. Come on!

And when they all try to impress at the same time, it gets chaotic.

# Now, all that meat and no potatoes... #

The boys brought their buffalo burgers to Brixton...

Today only.

Once they're gone, they're gone.

..very late in the day.

They didn't get the fact that people buy burgers at lunchtime and they

turned up two or three o'clock in the afternoon.

We're only here for today, it is a one-day deal, guys.

Are you still in the kitchen doing costing?

Danny had beef with sub team leader Charles.

Why are you calling me about costing?

-Danny, you have made no decisions, OK?

-We've made a decision, you don't need to worry about costing

when you're manufacturing. You just don't need to do it. It's not necessary.

Danny left the factory without a clue as to what price

they cost and what price he was going to sell them for.

That was disastrous, really.

With only two hours left, the boys changed location.

-Shoreditch.

-Shoreditch it is then, that's the decision.

Get to Shoreditch,

start selling and we are going to meet you there, OK?

Having lost valuable sales time...

We've got little time left, let's go.

The boys made fast food deals...

Healthy burgers, guys. £5, boys.

..at knock-down prices.

I'll take one pack for £5, yeah? I'll give you two packs for a fiver.

-Good day, guys, seriously.

-Well done.

After takings were totted up...

A loss of £114.17.

Unsurprisingly, it was the boys in the firing line.

That is really, really diabolical.

I feel like I'm looking at a load of dead meat, to be honest with you.

Danny was no burger king. Look at his sad face.

You did absolutely nothing. It was a joke!

Project Manager is always a brave move in week one,

but I have to be fair in my mind.

If the person is really responsible for the failure of the task,

then they are going to go. This was a disaster.

Danny, you're fired.

First man down.

So, week two.

Oh, my God, beautiful.

And a spot of interior design.

-Good morning.

-ALL:

-Good morning, Lord Sugar.

This was a very interesting task,

refurbishing two rooms in a great hotel.

And that is what this next task is all about,

making money from interior design.

The teams had two days and a 13 grand budget to design,

decorate and furnish their rooms.

This wasn't just about creativity. They had two things to do -

they had to please the customer and they had to make some money.

Ross was voted in as team leader.

I am used to working with designers. I am used to mood boards.

Ah, capable hands.

I don't do five-star. My experience of hotels has more been Travelodges.

At least his team would back him up.

I'll support you 100%.

Ross was the project manager of this team,

and he appointed Jeff to keep an eye on the numbers,

because Jeff is a mathematician.

And Jeff kind of took umbrage to that.

There's no point me being the numbers guy. These guys...

These guys... I should be on the design.

Design is EVERYTHING in this task.

I'm creative as well.

Wrong, as far as I'm concerned.

Your project manager tells you, "Do what you're good at."

Well, Jeff was good at break dancing.

What's break dancing got to do with the price of cocoa, really?

You're here to actually make some money.

The boys chose their colour scheme for their British inspired room.

-Are we happy with those, guys?

-Awesome.

-Let's do this.

Classic red, blue and...yellow?

Quite a bright yellow, that, isn't it?

If I went in that bedroom and woke up in the middle of the night,

I'd think I was in the middle of a trifle.

It's like someone's puked rainbow in this place.

They designed a feature wallpaper after a landmark decision.

Super abstract. Really, really, light, free hand.

When it came to the wallpaper,

he gave the designer about 30 seconds to come up with something.

I'm championing this.

That's awesome. We thought it through nicely, you know?

I don't think we can polish that.

No, Ross, there are some things that you can't polish.

Looked like a bunch of kids had just drawn something on the wall.

The boys even blew their budget.

-Well, what is the total from your side?

-12,722.

Um...

If only they'd had a maths guy on the team!

MUSIC: Gangnam Style by PSY

-All in favour?

-Yes.

-Carried.

On Team Graphene, Bushra was hoping for a hole in one for the girls.

Right. We've got our wallpaper.

Are you measuring as well, Elizabeth?

Yes, Elizabeth measured up the room...

-I've done that wall.

-I'll just check it again.

..again...

Are we writing this down, though, like where the sockets are?

..and again.

She spent ages measuring things up in a clumsy kind of Manuel,

Fawlty Towers manner.

Just leave the wall, it's fine.

And still got it all wrong.

Have you measured the doors?

Um, one second.

THEY LAUGH

Bushra gave her sub team a bargain basement budget.

Guys, don't spend anything over £5,000.

So Elizabeth kept a tight grip on their purse strings.

-Shall we tag it?

-No, it's too expensive.

With both rooms finished,

Jeff did some over-sharing with the bottom line.

We're actually within budget,

as the total value of goods was only around 11,470.

Telling the client exactly how much they'd spent is a fatal error.

Yes, the plan wasn't for Jeff to let you know exactly how much all the

furnishings cost.

You don't tell your client how much it cost.

You tell them how much you want them to pay.

In the boardroom, it was the boys' team who were below-par.

I had to make a decision in the end as to who won.

And I chose the girls.

I wouldn't get too excited.

It's not a case of I liked it more. I hated it less.

It was a very disappointing week, unfortunately, yeah.

The boys just couldn't paper over the cracks,

and Jeff had made his own bed.

The man is not a fool.

He's a very intelligent person.

And yet he knew that the point was that we had to make money,

and he strayed away from that.

-Why is that, Jeff?

-First of all, I'm not just a numbers guy,

I have a lot of different skills.

But it was Jeff's last dance.

Jeff, I wouldn't trust you with a hotel in Monopoly.

Jeff, you're fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar.

Go on, do the dance. Do the dance.

Did you read that sparkling water makes you fat?

-I drink a lot of sparkling water.

-I like it. And look at him!

You need to put on weight, right?

So they tell me.

Top banter. A week later, it was robot wars.

We like to keep up with technology.

-I

-like to keep up with technology.

So this task was fantastic.

You will be selling robots.

The boys got a new motherboard - Michaela.

You'd just better all behave.

The teams have two days to brand, programme and sell the prototypes.

I recognise those moves.

It's the spirit of Jeff.

On the girls' team...

I'd like to put myself forward for PM.

..project manager Jade was set on a study aid for kids.

What about just doing it as the E.Bot?

-You will learn and grow with me.

-I like it.

-Yeah.

-Happy?

How can you say you don't know whether it was undermining...

But there was a short circuit on the team.

-You did.

-No. I didn't say I didn't hear it, I said...

-You did!

Buttons were pushed...

I expected to have a bit of help, and if it wasn't for you...

-Did you need help? Did you feel like you were failing? So you needed help?

-No, I don't.

Let's not just try and take everybody down.

-..fuses blown...

-You're doing my head in.

So just zip it, or be constructive.

How dare you! Don't speak to me like that.

Don't talk to me like that!

..and a full-system meltdown.

-It's not funny, is it?

-I'm laughing at the situation,

cos all I've heard for the last ten minutes is blah, blah, blah, blah. I've had enough. I'm sick of it.

There was a bit of bad blood amongst the girls, which is wrong, because,

you know, had they put their mind to the business of the task,

they would have sold a lot more.

Red is rouge, and black is noir.

In the pitch to the retail giants...

Let's make you a mathematical genius, shall we?

..Jade's team rebooted...

This device will help the family learn through experiences.

..and secured sales.

We can put it into demo. So it can talk, it can do all this,

and really do the funkiness, and the karate chopping,

all that sort of thing.

Meanwhile, Michaela and the boys

decided to target the older generation.

One thing that is quite difficult to do is train them

and teach them about technology.

Yeah, don't let Lord Sugar hear you say that.

I have people in front of me in the boardroom

that weren't even born at the time that I started in technology.

They might think that I'm some old, you know,

bloke at 70 years old that doesn't understand. Big error.

Their plan to help the over 60s - a spot of exercise.

But if the robot could go down, like...

Like that?

Could he do something like this?

Down like that, and he went up like that?

I'm not sure that's actually, technically, yoga?

It's not. The sub team cooked up a name for their pensioner prototype.

Jeffrii. But it's J-E-F-F, and then R-I-I.

That's the one. We're going to go with Jeffrii, with two Is.

And we're going to go with, "Your helping hand for life."

Hello, I'm Jeffrii.

But it didn't compute with Michaela.

-I just don't think it looks right.

-When you look at it straightaway,

you just feel that these letters don't connect.

Anybody who knows about technology, will know that once it's

programmed in, you're done. That's the name.

Not for Michaela.

She decided on a last-minute name change.

-Siimon?

-Siimon, yeah.

-Interesting.

-She should have been fired for that, that was ridiculous.

-Too right.

Elliot joined the pitch team. His role -

to explain Jeffrii Siimon. Or should it be Siimon Jeffrii?

We say his name is Jeffrii, OK? But his family name is Siimon.

Yes, that's much clearer, Elliot. Thank you.

Hello, I'm Jeffrii. And I'm your helping hand for life.

It certainly caused confusion in the pitch.

They had a poster which had one name on,

the robot itself had another name. Ridiculous.

It started off Siimon, now it's Jeffrii. This is very confusing.

Elliot, as a barrister,

he should have been able to talk their way out of it,

which is what he claimed he would do for the team. He didn't.

In the boardroom,

the girls' team were saved by bulk orders for their prototype.

-Yes!

-Elizabeth...

Sorry, Lord Sugar.

So you should be. For the boys...

This is a bloody shambles, you lot,

this is the third task, and the third task you've lost.

I'm not impressed at all with any of you.

But it was Elliot who was in the spotlight.

I think that Elliot, being a very intelligent person, thought,

"You know what? I'll just stand back and let everybody else mess it up

"and then I won't be blamed for anything."

You may be very articulate,

you may be very skilled in being able to talk as a barrister,

but you're not cut out to be my business partner.

-Elliot, you're fired.

-Thank you, Lord Sugar.

Michaela got away with it...this time.

Good luck.

Week four...

-Wembley!

-15 candidates remained,

only one could become the top of the league.

Oh, my God!

This was a great task, right?

We've got Wembley Stadium and we had the women's FA Cup Final.

I mean, what more could you ask?

For this task, I'd like you to lay on a VIP hospitality box.

Good luck, off you go.

I don't do football events, but I do weddings.

Siobhan captained the girls.

-Siobhan, you're our PM.

-OK.

Siobhan puts on events in Dubai and places like that, so this was,

kind of, like, tailor-made for her.

I'm Elizabeth, nice to meet you.

Siobhan split the teams up,

and she let the sub team listen to the client's wish list,

which I think was the first error. You know that the clients could get

carried away with what they want, and they did.

Maybe champagne, canapes, a main course,

and then obviously drinks all the way through? Yeah.

No attention to cost.

So that was a big error.

We won't have a dry day, don't worry.

Well, they certainly wouldn't.

We want to go for three Prosecco, seven Sauvignon blanc...

Because Siobhan ordered 21 bottles...

Seven Chardonnay. Four Malbec and three merlot.

..for her 12 guests.

Where Siobhan went wrong on the task

was that she over-ordered a lot of the alcohol.

-How much is that? How many glasses?

-Eight glasses of wine each.

-Far too much.

-That seems a lot.

I don't know, I mean, I can't be the only one having input here.

Siobhan kept asking the team for advice.

That's not what a leader does.

A leader says, "I'm making the decisions, you do it."

Certainly not good business acumen.

Boys' PM Andrew planned to treat his guests like Premier League stars,

on a five-a-side budget.

We've ordered seven portions of canapes.

-But you've got 14 people?

-Yeah.

-Are you going to cut them in half?

I think it will just be whoever picks them up first.

Well, at least their VIPs had...Wotsits.

We got a lot here for £4.80, didn't we?

They didn't just cut culinary corners.

In terms of entertainment, what would you be looking for?

-I just don't want it to be awkward.

-Absolutely.

Andrew's team took a massive gamble.

Harrison, would you sing?

-Well...

-Honestly, mate...

-Do it for the team.

-All right, I'll do what I can. I'll try.

Harrison bravely put himself forward as a singer.

I've heard him in the shower.

Good. FA Cup Final, corporate event...

Yeah.

If he gets it wrong...

No, no, no. Have faith, man.

I think you will be brilliant.

Cup Final day -

and it was endless happy hour for Siobhan's clients.

Thank you.

Meanwhile, the boys' reception...

That's the last of it, there.

..had lost its fizz.

We've got no more champagne, really, left.

Harrison!

And Harrison came onto the field to entertain the clients.

MICROPHONE FEEDBACK SQUEALS

Awkward!

# And now the end is near... #

Hopefully...

# And so I face

# The final curtain... #

He took one for the team, as they say,

he certainly did Sinatra his way.

# I did it my way. #

They clapped him in the end, it was a very, very brave move.

At the end of the day, he did his first gig at Wembley Stadium!

Match has started, guys. Match has started.

There were fireworks in the boardroom...

Unfortunately, you were letting the client lead you.

And, unfortunately, you put me into a corner.

-Oh, really?

-Yes, you did.

..as the Graphene girls were given a red card.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Ladies, I'm not going to listen to any more of this.

But it was Siobhan who was offside.

You should have known how to do this, like clockwork.

She knows all about costs.

She knows what she's got to do to entertain people.

Not having a strategy when this is your area of expertise is really a

crime, as far as I'm concerned.

For me, it's more about making the client happy.

It's about making me happy!

-I know.

-You know?

She lost complete control of the costs,

and she messed up on this task.

On that basis, Siobhan, I regret to say that you're fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar.

Taxi!

21 bottles of wine? It's like dinner round your house!

Week five, and things got personal.

Now, this was my primary school.

And your task today is all about acquiring nine items which mark

some of the milestones of my life and career.

This task is designed to eek out negotiation skills and logistics.

These are skills that are vital in my business partner, simple as that.

The teams had one day to find nine items...

70th birthday cake.

..at rock-bottom prices, including a retro car aerial.

Isn't that the first thing Lord Sugar sold?

And material fit for a Lord's robe.

Scarlet doeskin.

Sajan assigned roles for Vitality.

I'd like to keep Ross on my team, because of the analytical skills.

I don't know London at all, I've never lived here,

so driving around collecting stuff I know nothing about in a city I know

nothing about isn't something I was looking forward to.

Uh- oh!

The next item is a rugelach.

Rugelach is a nice little, sweet Jewish cake.

Rugelach? Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Is Lord Sugar even Jewish?

-Yes, he is.

-Is he?

-Definitely.

-OK.

Oh, God, you know. Where has she been?

Two stores away from us, is it worth popping in there?

The supermarket is clearly not a Jewish, kosher supermarket.

It's a Turkish supermarket.

Do you do any Jewish food in this store?

No, unfortunately, we haven't got any of them.

This has been a complete, and colossal waste of precious time.

Michaela tried to sow up a speedy deal on a hanky.

I think £10 is a fair price, isn't it?

And Ross just stood on the sidelines.

Ross was a very interesting person, he's a technology man.

But he went wrong on this particular task, basically doing nothing.

This is getting a bit frantic.

-It's not.

-No-one knows where we are going or what we're doing.

If you have another suggestion, please throw it into the mix,

cos it's not that it's frantic, we're all out of suggestions,

so if you've got one, please feel free to tell us.

He's not really contributed anything to the task.

The teams raced around London...

-Go on, Sarah.

-..on the trail of the remaining items.

Tottenham scarf! Oh, get in!

That's 16.

Are you asking me? Are you putting any input or are you just trying to

stray away from actually making a decision yourself?

PM Joanna was on the hunt for a high-ticket item.

I'm actually looking for an Amstrad computer.

If you didn't get that Amstrad computer that would be a big blow.

-Yes, I've got one of those.

-OK, perfect.

But also looking to track it down...

Yeah, I've got one for sale,

but someone's already called me up this morning and reserved it.

-Can we come and get it first?

-Are we able to come and get it first?

If you get here first, I suppose.

However, Joanna and her team beat them to it.

Hello, hi.

Kerching! It was a game-changing moment, I think.

I was wondering if you still had your Amstrad.

I'm afraid the other buyer's been and gone.

Two minutes to seven, where are they?

With minutes to go...

It's our sub team.

..the teams race to the finish.

-Guys, guys, guys!

-Come on. Less than a minute, come on.

-Come on.

-Come on, come on.

As the clock struck 7:00pm, the teams were out of time,

and Sajan's team were out of luck.

Hello, Ross. Was you on this task, Ross?

Ross was in the firing line.

Statistically speaking, I'm...

-Statistically speaking?

-..I'm very smart.

and if you take an average room of people from the UK,

I am usually the smartest person in the room.

Really? And modest with it, also.

I don't know what he thinks about me, then.

Because he was in my room for quite a while in the boardroom.

I actually do have the IQ of an official genius,

-which I'm kind of proud of.

-Really?

-Yeah.

You are a very articulate fellow.

But I believe, and I say this very respectfully,

you are a fish out of water in this process.

There was no reason for me to be heavy with him

but he's not a businessperson.

I wish you all the best but, Ross, you're fired.

-Thank you for the opportunity.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

You've got a doctorate, haven't you?

-I've got two.

-I've got a doctorate.

-I've only got one. But I'm a professor.

-I'm a doctor of science.

-I am, too.

-Twice.

-Are you a professor?

-No, I'm not, actually, no.

-I thought not. Cos I'm a genius!

But I'm a peer.

You are, yes. That beats it!

Week six. And the candidates needed to get shipshape.

This was a very interesting task, actually, to go abroad,

just to see what they're like in a different culture.

Your next task is to plan and execute a tour of Bruges.

You'll need to sell tickets,

and give your clients the best-possible experience.

-Welcome, ladies, to Vitality.

-Thank you.

First job - choose a skipper.

I'm happy to be project manager. I think I'll bring everyone together.

I know everyone's strengths and weaknesses.

But it was Andrew who was quick to take the helm...

I've been on tequila tasting, wine tasting, vodka tasting.

Anything alcohol, I'll do a tasting!

..and sold Vitality's historic tour as a booze cruise.

Change your plans, if you've got any.

Come with us, we're going on a beer tasting event.

Some really good beers that will get you off your nut as well.

Up on deck, there was a reshuffle.

I want to swap with you, because I think you're going to be amazing...

-Get in, Charles.

-I think you will be amazing at the beer tasting.

And then, obviously, us three can go out and negotiate.

Sarah-Jayne put herself in the wrong team.

She should have gone on the tour.

After all, that's where the money was.

On Team Graphene...

Right, everybody.

..Sergeant Major Elizabeth took charge of her tour.

What's the word for hello?

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

Tell the square hello.

THEY SPEAK OWN LANGUAGE

Guys, come on. Quick as we can now. Nearly there.

Having negotiated a free chocolate tasting...

We've got some chocolate for you guys to purchase.

Would you like to come through and have a look?

..and a sweet deal on sales...

-Time to empty those wallets.

-Time to buy!

..Elizabeth's team were on a roll.

To infinity and beyond!

Testing! There we go.

Meanwhile, Team Vitality's tour started on a high.

Onwards.

The bulk of this task was the tour.

Sarah-Jayne didn't even go on it.

What we have to do is, you have to go around the block a little bit.

It was left to Charles, who initially got them lost,

took everybody on a wild goose chase.

Charles, at what point do we realise we've gone too far,

-and we want to turn back?

-Oh, no, we're back where we started.

I've got deja vu, mate. I feel like I've been here before.

I mean, it's stupid beyond belief.

Having spent hours pounding the pavements,

Team Vitality only had time for a happy half-hour.

We've definitely had a good day.

It turned out they were, like, thimblefuls beer to taste.

Oversold it, very disappointing.

The teams had one last chance to make some money.

The part and parcel of the task was that you had to buy things to sell

when you got back on board.

Elizabeth's team took a gamble, had some high-priced items...

So, the £50 set.

..which paid off and they made a load of money.

-Sarah-Jayne...

-Is there any more for two euros on there?

-No.

-Is there any around here? On this side, for two euros?

..chose some pathetic key rings.

That was disastrous, really.

It was a load of...

SHIP'S HORN BLARES

Back in the boardroom.

-You win, Elizabeth.

-Thank you, Lord Sugar.

While Elizabeth's team celebrated...

# Hallelujah! #

..Lord Sugar was not one to waffle.

Let me let you into a little secret,

they won this task because of their souvenirs.

Kerching! Sarah-Jayne didn't go on the tour, didn't follow the money,

and then bought these pathetic key rings.

Sarah-Jayne, you have not proved yourself to me.

-You're fired.

-OK. Thank you for the opportunity.

12 candidates remained.

And the competition went up a gear.

Your task today is all about advertising.

I'm giving each of the teams a brand-new car,

and what you have to do is come up with a campaign to launch it.

I've spent a lot of money, over the years, on advertising.

And in my opinion, it's important to

keep the advert very simple, very focused.

On Team Vitality, Michaela got behind the wheel

to steer the team in the right direction.

Our brand name is Miami.

-Does it have to be so literal with the name?

-The car name is Miami.

-Action.

-They kept their ad simple.

Girl in the car, potentially with her friend in.

And remember, you're going on holiday! Woo!

I thought this was going to be Jason Statham kind of stuff.

Whoa, whoa!

-And it isn't.

-Quick sticks.

And cut. Solid gold in the can.

-I think we have enough footage to drag it out to 20 seconds.

-Yeah.

Looking to escape reality?

The all-new technologically advanced hot hatchback.

-At the pitch...

-Miami!

Move forward, move fast, move free.

-You just can't use the word fast.

-We thought we'd got away with it!

..the sub team watched on with horror...

I'm so glad you brought that one up.

..as Anisa slammed it into reverse.

-Yeah, it was a little bit unfortunate.

-No, Anisa! Stop it!

Did anyone pick up and think it was an advert for a bicycle, you know,

-because you've got two modes of transport?

-Yes, yeah, exactly that.

You're flooding the engine.

-Anisa!

-Oh, my God! What is she doing!

We had some feedback at the top, saying,

"We don't understand why it was a car and then a bike."

Is there an ejector seat in this car?

Just take her down, tackle her.

Just do something. Put a sock in her mouth!

On Team Graphene...

-I'm happy to lead it.

-Yeah, fine.

-..James was in charge.

Cool, I'm PM, then.

I gave both teams lots of choices of locations where

they could film their advert.

Now, I think that it could be good to come from maybe an old village.

And they picked a Norman village.

The idea, the car is the brand-new thing,

and it's coming out of something that is quite old.

I'm not entirely sure they understand when the Norman era was.

The Normans were around in medieval times.

James, I don't think this is an English village.

I think this is a... pretend village.

Oh, my good God!

-I don't mean to be funny, James, but we are scuppered.

-Yeah, yeah.

We are actually in, like, a medil-evil setting.

-A what, sorry?

-Where?

-Do I hear chickens?

They've gone medieval? They didn't even have cars then, did they?

No, Harrison, they didn't.

So, obviously, at first we want this wide shot

to just set the scene where we are.

If you didn't know better, you would think Sajan was Spielberg.

The mise en scene is perfect.

Given the dilemma, a creative person could have adapted, but he didn't.

We'll take a shot from here, then we'll take another shot from there.

Four scenes to be shot this morning.

Four only. I think we've got 20 plus.

-Scene 26.

-You need to say action or else I'm not coming.

-Action!

-Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

Cool. We've got lots of footage,

and I've actually done a really good job.

Well, that's what you think.

Nothing they couldn't fix in the edit.

Cue back-seat driver Elizabeth.

Stop. Cut it there,

and then just go to boom, boom, boom, ba-room-boom-boom.

You can cut that bit. And then it goes, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo.

It goes like that. Boom, boom, boom, ba-room-boom-boom.

Try it. It will work.

# I've got the key... #

Shoo!

# I've got the key

# I've got the key to another... #

That is a terrible TV advert.

On a collision course in the boardroom...

I think I've got a good picture here.

..Team Graphene were on the skids.

James, weak leadership.

You've put me in an awkward position.

In this point of the process, one must focus on the specific task,

of course. But part of my mind is also thinking about how the people

have performed in the previous weeks.

Sajan, you were supposed to be the director.

-That's correct.

-OK, God knows what that was supposed to be.

Can I just say, Lord Sugar, I have shown that I'm a creative person.

You let it go off the rails. You're making it up as you go along.

Sajan didn't adapt, and that's one thing about business, you know,

if there's some catastrophic change,

you need to try and rescue it and adapt.

And so, Sajan, you're fired.

I appreciate the opportunity, thank you so much. All the best, guys.

Week eight - and the candidates had a surprise visitor.

Assemble in the kitchen, please.

Lord Sugar had a pet project.

I've organised for you to take over a doggie day-care centre.

You need to win clients, negotiate prices,

and carry out services to a very high standard.

Team Graphene's pack leader - James.

Make out that you absolutely love dogs.

He sent Elizabeth and Joanna to teach old dogs new tricks.

Good boy.

That's you, and that's me.

I think it was a bit of a masterstroke by James,

putting Miss Bossy Boots in charge of the training.

We're going to do this,

and then we're going to have a little bit of dancing.

And she got on and she did quite a good job.

Come on.

Sit. Beg.

Cry. Spin around.

And she made a good profit, also.

£60 for that, which will be receipted.

So we could do a deal for you.

-Oh, go on.

-Thank you so much.

James's team put their best paw forward...

Look at the little one!

..and secured a photoshoot.

-Go, go on!

-Oh, oh, oh!

And James drummed up dosh, clearing doggie doo door-to-door.

I think James showed very good initiative,

knocking on people's doors, cleaning up dog mess.

-The cost for that would be £100.

-Thank you.

And made quite a lot of money.

-Thank you.

-It's all about the moneys!

In the doggie spa...

I've just done his bottom.

Have you? You're not having a slice of my pizza later.

..Vitality's top dog was supposed to be Charles.

You know, everybody was working away,

and he was standing there as an observer.

I'm assisting where I can. I'm just prompting them along.

I think the only thing he did do was delegate to everyone else.

-Give him the fizz bath on his feet.

-Yes.

-I'll keep my hands clean.

You go and explain to the customer.

-All right, yeah.

-Cool.

He's just sitting back and letting them do all the work.

Andrew, it's Charles.

Charles even tried to pass the buck to his sub team.

Charles, you're trying to get us to do the calls that you were meant

-to have made.

-Charles, we've got too much to do here.

-OK.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

Anisa, Anisa, only one voice.

And as for Anisa...

No, no, no!

SHE LAUGHS

She seems to flap quite a lot, panic quite a lot,

think everything's funny when it goes wrong.

And also I don't believe she had the respect of her team-mates.

No, no, don't go! Just don't go!

Good afternoon, hello, Nadine.

And Andrew, he pitched for a poop-scooping job...

-I'm so happy about picking up poo.

-I told you!

We need somebody to clear all the dog mess.

All the way down to the drive.

It's quite big.

..but bagged a bum deal.

We was thinking £120.

Not only did he take on this ridiculous contract,

which was originally to pick up dog poo,

they ended up picking up duck poo, also,

and never asked for any extra money.

Why did we commit to duck poo?

-It's screwing us.

-We said the big ones.

Well, they're all big! They're all big.

Missed opportunity.

Don't be frantic, guys, be calm.

Pick up the pace a bit, Anisa.

Yeah, I know, but the flowerbed's really complicated. Here.

Massive poos. Loads of them.

It's not rocket science, this.

Poo, bag, put the two together, and clean up.

But after a quick inspection...

Oh, there's quite a lot still here, isn't there?

I obviously can't pay you the full amount.

Whoopsie.

In the boardroom, it was dog eat dog.

-Anisa, no-one has got confidence in you.

-You don't make any decisions!

-Flap, flap, flap.

-I wasn't flapping, actually, Charles.

-OK.

You were flustered. You were flustered.

It's week eight now.

I have to close my eyes and tried to envisage these people in business

with me. And in all three cases, I couldn't see it.

It was dead wood time.

Time to evict.

Andrew, you're fired.

Anisa, you're fired.

-I think that's very harsh.

-I don't want to hear from you.

-Sorry, sorry.

-Charles, you're fired.

-Thanks for the opportunity.

I don't feel guilty about it cos I think those three had to go.

Back at the house...

-No-one's coming home.

-He sacked them all?

I think the competition has officially begun.

On the plus side, there's three extra portions of dinner tonight!

-Yes!

-Heartless.

-Cheers.

Another week, and another task cooked up by Lord Sugar.

You have to invent your own recipe kit.

You'll need to brand and design the packaging,

and you will also need to create an exciting dish.

For Team Vitality...

Now, Harrison, you're going to be the project manager.

On the menu... Harrison's kickin' chicken curry.

Curry powder, is that healthy?

-Only snag...

-How much curry powder are we putting in, Harrison?

-Two tablespoons.

-Two tablespoons?

..Harrison couldn't cook.

I don't know, wait, two teaspoons.

Stop, stop, stop. No, it's not.

At least the sub team would sort out the branding.

I'm asking you now, please, to come up with ideas to do with your mind,

and to do with natural and nature.

-Maybe not.

-Because then we're on the same page.

This is really important.

I am trying to be on the same page.

-Your PM has just told you he doesn't like that idea, so...

-I know!

-..get away from that idea.

Jade and Joanna spent most of the day rowing. Their mind was

not on the job, and consequently,

the packaging, the marketing, the whole thing was a disaster.

Why does it not say chicken curry on the box?

And as for the recipe cards...

There are a couple of typos on this,

which I'm really disappointed in, but we ran out of time.

But in the pitch, Harrison charmed them.

We believe that this is the way forward and the future in eating.

There's no actual name of the product on the packaging.

Michaela informed them...

When this comes to market, then all that information, of course,

-will be on there.

-And Joanna assured them the food was safe to eat.

This first dish that we've got doesn't have pea in it.

That's a relief!

It's really good.

Harrison, I think, won the day with a tremendous presentation,

where he showed his passion.

Thank you.

So we've got to think about a brand name.

On Team Graphene, Sarah had a clear vision for her kit.

Gourmet Crusaders, I like, because I just thought it's sort of

a bit like a call to action.

Bushra voiced a small concern.

I feel like the Crusaders, for me,

feels a little bit more like an army.

Bushra expressed a dislike for it initially,

but she kind of backed off when Sarah kind of said,

"No, that's what it's going to be."

-I don't think we need to tie in on that too much.

-Yeah.

Let's start cooking.

Sarah put Mr Chalk and Miss Cheese

in the kitchen to invent their gourmet dish.

But Elizabeth couldn't help herself.

Why don't I chop the celery?

-Would that be all right?

-Put down the knife, James.

James.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah. Fine.

Working with Elizabeth is like trying to clean a piranha's teeth.

-Do you want me to turn it up?

-No. No, no, no.

She's a complete control freak.

Because we've got this live kitchen cooking happening,

the interactiveness could be quite quirky.

We could really engage with the panel.

Ah, quirky. That's where it all went wrong.

The pitch was terrible.

Do you want to do some stirring? So just keep it moving.

You know how you're my favourite?

Hah, hah.

Toe-curling cringey.

The food was burnt, and Bushra's jokes went down like a lead balloon.

We would have loved to have had Captain Gourmet himself here today,

but unfortunately Donald Trump called him over.

WIND WHISTLES

SAD TROMBONE NOTES

I like the word gourmet,

but I have a bit of a reaction to the word crusade.

Bushra told you so!

People think that they make a gentle and subtle comment about something

in order to store it as ammunition for themselves,

that when they get in the boardroom, they can say, "Well, I did say."

I said it so many times

I think she got bored of me going over it so many times.

I mean, that is an absolute lie!

Of course, I see through that.

That is total rubbish!

If I could just speak, you are the project manager...

-Yes, I was.

-Can we come up for air for a minute?

I felt in the boardroom that I hadn't seen anything in the past

nine weeks from Bushra that impressed me at all,

I think she, kind of,

came past her sell by date in the process, to be honest.

Time to go.

Bushra, it is with regret that you are fired.

Thank you, Lord Sugar, for this opportunity.

Bye-bye, Bushra.

Week ten.

And the seven remaining candidates had to smarten up their act.

So, for this next task, you're going to act as fashion agents.

-Give us a grrr.

-SHE LAUGHS

You'll need to choose an up-and-coming designer,

and then sell the collection to retailers

at your very own catwalk show.

Joanna was project manager for Team Graphene.

Joanna started off very well,

they went for the lower-priced designer's connection...

It's organic fabric.

This one's bamboo.

..and she negotiated a tremendously good commission,

and additional discount if they got some bulk orders.

What we can offer may really increase your sales,

and do a lot for your brand, in terms of publicity.

Joanna sent Elizabeth and Michaela across town.

Our main job is interviewing male models.

SHE CHUCKLES

Now, that I can do.

-Oh, yes.

-It's going to get hot today!

Oh!

They put the models through their paces...

Work it! Work every bit.

..and although they failed to secure a magazine front cover...

What that represents to me is, sort of, amateur magician.

..their runway show was a hit.

Go.

So the first model that we have is in the harem trousers.

And these are £70.

Go.

They went for a lower price point,

but they generated steady sales.

You might as well just take the whole one,

-and I'll give you 10% off.

-Go for it.

-Yeah?

-Yes! Well done.

On Team Vitality...

You must be Helen.

Now, Jade, she went the other end of the spectrum.

She chose a high-end collection.

This was inspired by post-apocalyptic,

-regal rock and roll.

-I like that.

Which is no problem, however,

she didn't negotiate a decent commission.

What percentage would you be able to go for?

We could shake on ten.

And neither did she even think about a discount for bulk orders.

We can't offer any discounts, because we haven't...

Well, I, haven't negotiated that.

First error, kick off, get your pricing strategy right.

May I present to you...

..Helen Woollams.

Second major error for Jade was that she's trying

to promote the designer's name,

rather than the brand of the product.

Is it Hellavagirl?

-Is this...

-Pardon?

-Is this Hellavagirl?

Is that who you're talking about?

Well, we've gone for Helen Woollams,

that's the brand that we've decided to push out.

Is that her actual brand? Is that what she was wishing to put forward?

Well, when we've spoken to her she wanted to put Helen Woollams.

Are you sure she said that, Jade?

She doesn't use her actual name.

She uses her brand name,

and I think the designer's going to be really disappointed.

-Hi.

-Hi.

She was.

Obviously, she misinterpreted, or didn't understand the brief.

What, on Lord's green earth, is it?

Throughout the task, Harrison looked a little uncomfortable.

The clothes are definitely very interesting.

I've never seen anything quite like that.

It's like a gold ghost.

Harrison couldn't get past the fact

that he didn't know about women's clothing.

Stopwatches on. I'm not putting forward a business plan

that involves anything to do with catwalking.

Yeah, whatever.

It's nothing to do with women's fashion, frankly,

it's about negotiation, marketing and sales.

It was down to Jade to sell it in the catwalk show.

So, the last dawn on...

The Last Dawn On Mars collection.

Jade really stumbled with her presentation.

She showed a lack of confidence.

You're not going to be able to get

this really quality-based ingredient.

It certainly cost her sales.

Oh, thank goodness it's over.

Jade, I mean, she made the mistake on this,

she made the mistake on that.

I think she's got her skills, but I think she's not the full package.

I mean, Harrison has been on a losing team six out of ten times.

I think that tells you something.

Harrison, great chap, was out of his depth in this particular task,

showed that he couldn't adapt,

and, certainly, I don't think he was eligible for the final five.

It is with regret, Harrison, you're fired.

Cheers.

But Lord Sugar wasn't done there.

Jade, she just messed up completely.

The business plan that I have got...

Jade, Jade, I don't want to hear any more.

I'm sorry to say, you're fired.

OK, thank you for the opportunity, it's been unbelievable.

Thank you.

After ten tumultuous tasks...

Right, we have to be in Liverpool Street with our business plans.

I'm absolutely bricking it, I'm not going to lie.

Who is going to be Lord Sugar's next business partner?

..the final five were summoned for their most gruelling ordeal yet,

otherwise known as the scary interview bit.

Task 11 is all about really interrogating the business plans.

It's also there to flush out whether they really are

the right type for my business partner.

I've asked four my most trusted business advisers,

including Claude, to go over your plans

in minute detail,

so you'd better hope everything is in order.

-What is your motto?

-No guts, no glory.

No guts, no glory. That suits me.

Waiting upstairs, four titans of business.

"Iron" Mike Suiter.

Claudine "KO" Collins.

Linda "Very Scary" Plant.

And heavyweight champ, Claude Littner.

He owns pens.

OK.

First up, digital marketing manager Joanna.

Joanna, one of the youngest candidates we've ever had.

Her business idea was to come up with a range of ladies' clothing.

Some of the proceeds, I'd like to be able to put in the developing world,

for another girl to maybe buy her school uniform.

I think a business that has a noble purpose at the heart of it

is a brilliant thing. Very impressive indeed.

Seems to be going well.

But, on further interrogation,

it was quite clear that she had no experience

in the fashion sector at all.

OK, maybe not.

Where are you going to get these products from?

So that would be ad hoc, from wholesalers.

Ad hoc from wholesalers?

Without the product, have you got a business?

Have you got a business without the product?

Have you? Just answer me, yes or no?

The brand, apparently, existed in here,

but you couldn't see it on paper.

You don't know how much you don't know.

Because you don't know.

Yeah.

Yeah, she didn't know.

You can't just suddenly wake up one Monday morning and say,

"Oh, I like the fashion business. You know what?

"I'm going to start an online fashion business."

Joanna had good fashion sense,

but I'm looking for a business partner

that has some experience in the sector

in which they want to go into business with me.

You're a very, very intelligent young lady,

there's no question of that.

But you will not be my business partner,

and regretfully, you're fired.

Thank you. Thank you.

I appreciate it more than you know.

-AUTOMATED VOICE:

-Doors closing.

Next, Elizabeth.

You are the master of your own destiny.

It's all about you now. Let's do this.

Now, Elizabeth, a great character.

She's a bit barking mad, really, and zany.

I love it! Boom!

She's always willing to get stuck in, and work hard, and take control.

And I liked her, yeah, for sure.

Here you are, you've got three small businesses.

You've got some staff, but the thing is,

these three shops are barely profitable.

The corporate gifting sector is massive.

We just need to get in those doors.

But it's not an investable business.

Are you flogging a dead horse here?

Absolutely not.

Her business idea was to expand her existing florist business.

You run a business, you need to send flowers to somebody.

I send them for you, nationally.

You are describing an online florist.

You are doing nothing different, so far as I can see.

I... It didn't seem to stack up, what she was putting forward.

Also, I had to take into account her temperament.

You are so overbearingly bossy.

If you would please allow me to show you on the paperwork,

-I'll show you where it is.

-I'm not going to show you.

-I'm not trying to be at all confrontational.

-I think you are,

-I think you're very confrontational.

-I'm not trying to.

I think you think you're interviewing me.

-You are absolutely impossible to work with.

-Right.

I feared that if I went into business with Elizabeth,

she might try to fire me!

You know, you're a hard worker, you take on everything.

But I...can't see the scaling up

of this business, I really can't.

At this stage, Elizabeth, it is with regret, you're fired.

Thank you, all, it's been my honour and my pleasure.

OK, and the very, very best of luck to you.

Thank you.

Just get through it, don't be sick.

-AUTOMATED VOICE:

-Doors opening.

Then it was Michaela's turn.

Michaela is a strange one.

She, kind of, always intrigued me.

When she was performing in the tasks, she was a great salesperson.

Do it for 5,000?

Let's do it for 5,000.

Treat yourself.

A great ideas person.

I'm buzzing.

And then in the boardroom, she would be very timid,

very quiet, very nervous.

I'm not super-confident.

So I was curious to find out what was behind Michaela.

My mum was poor, she was on her own at 23 with three kids.

We just didn't have an awful lot.

I wouldn't want my son to get benefits,

free school uniforms and all that.

So I started the business, grafted, and took it to where it is.

Her business idea was to come up with a website

that publicised proposed building contracts,

allowing vendors to go and quote for these various deals.

Not a bad idea, I don't think it's novel.

Why would I come to you?

If you chose to go to my competitor, then I'd just say,

"I'll see you in two years' time, when that contract runs out,

"and you come back to me, because my information is better."

I would choose to go to your competitor.

And then you'd come back to me after two years.

She came in with claims that she's got a very big business.

There's a holding company, there is an undisclosed business.

She had so many other businesses...

There's a media business.

-There's a utilities business.

-Yep.

So I found it very difficult to believe

that she would concentrate 100% on the new business formed with me.

Yeah, yeah.

And that is an absolute prerequisite of this process.

Can I just say? Like, most of these companies are really good.

She says she's got these big businesses, does she need me?

I would like to have a business partner to mentor me

about how to develop a business.

What are you talking about?

You've already built a business from zero to three million. Do it again.

I'm looking for a business partner

that is going to be 100% concentrating

on the business that we're going to be in.

And so, whether I'm right or wrong...

..you're fired.

No worries, thanks very much.

-You're very, very welcome.

-It's been emotional.

I wish you the best of luck.

-Thank you.

-When we are building our next site,

we'll come onto this website of yours, OK?

Four grand, though! No mates' rates. Ta-ra.

And then there were two.

Congratulations, you two.

You're in the final.

And I'll see you on the next task.

This year's final is really, really giving me a dilemma.

I would go into business with both of them, right now.

To be honest with you, that's the truth.

-My gosh!

-Oh, my gosh!

We have our finalists.

-This is my proudest moment, ever.

-Ever, ever.

Sugary-sweet Sarah.

Steady as a stick of rock, with the endurance of a gobstopper,

and the fizz of a sherbet lemon.

Sarah, very steady through the process, very sensible.

Very controlled, very intelligent.

I am definitely tough.

I have no problem doing hard negotiations.

I have no problem sacking, disciplining,

doing whatever I need to do.

Already got a business, doing quite well in the confectionery market,

and I think it could be at a level

where it's ready to go to the next step.

The taste of success!

She doesn't actually shout the loudest,

but you can see her mind ticking over. She gets it.

I am just a full package,

I'm doing the business that I'm talking about.

This is where I wanted to be, so I'm excited,

feel fully credible, and, yeah, raring to go.

Good luck, Sarah.

IT consultant guru James...

84 carats!

..who has always showed flair...

Sorry, guys.

..and quite a lot of hair.

You come in here telling me that - "I'm a nice guy."

-Do nice guys earn 200 grand a year?

-Yeah.

James, he's a good salesman.

Segway, Segway, I can see you both on a Segway.

He made a lot of money in the past, by being a salesman.

I am someone who knows how to make money.

Now he wants to step away from working for somebody,

and work for himself.

His business plan is for an IT recruitment company,

specialising in cyber security.

I know that I'm a credible candidate.

I know that my experience speaks for itself.

This would generate more than 100,000 gross profit.

At night-time, at the moment,

all I'm doing is dreaming about winning this.

I've got two very, very credible finalists,

which is a bit of a dilemma for me.

So there's one even tougher hurdle for them to overcome

before I decide who is going to be my business partner.

MUSIC: The Final Countdown by Europe