Episode 12 The Getaway Car

Welcome to Cape Town, South Africa, and the ultimate relationship

road test, where five couples are about to find out if their

eternal love for each other can survive the next hour.

Belt up, this is The Getaway Car.

Shall we?

Take the first ramp. Oh, uh, maybe the second.

Watch what you're doing, you clown.

Ready to apologise?

Don't start with the silent treatment again!

Go!

SCREAMING

Oh, no!

This is sickening, boy!

Every relationship goes through its difficult patch, but not many

go through a giant car wash,

a terrifying tunnel and a roundabout blindfolded.

That is what's facing today's couples.

To get through it, they'll need fearless determination...

Do as I tell you to...

SHE SCREAMS

..impeccable driving skills...

Stop, stop! Argh!

..and grace under pressure.

Right, right, right! I am going right! Just turn it right!

This is right! OK, calm down.

One couple will make it to the end, though, where they'll get the

chance to win ?10,000 as they take to the track in this,

the Getaway Car.

ENGINE REVS

It's a dream of a drive but never seen without this nightmare.

That is Top Gear's the Stig. Currently single, I'm told,

so, ladies, snap him up if you like the very silent,

very, very non-communicative type.

So, start the arguing and start the engines. Let's get the show

on the road.

Ready to drive in a manner that on public roads would see them

immediately banned are today's five teams, including...

Married couple Laura and Stuart from Dunbar, Scotland.

Laura was six years old when they first met. As driver today,

can she avoid the naughty step?

From north London, fiery, argumentative brother and sister

Hamid and Honey. Whatever you do, don't call them the terrible twins,

cos one's 22 and the other is 25.

And in a Getaway first, Jamie and Paula from Hastings,

who once married then divorced, now best friends.

And if you think that's unusual, they also enjoy musicals.

For the last time this series, ladies and gentlemen, today's teams.

First to take on Hazard Highway like ten grand depends on it, it's

Team Green... I love you. I love you too.

..made up of boyfriend and boyfriend Ollie and Joshua.

What do you do for a living? We're designers, aren't we?

Yeah, set and costume design's what we both trained in.

What do you think, boys?

So exciting. This is awesome.

Ahead of Ollie and Joshua is a gigantic course

of car-unfriendly obstacles that all five teams

must complete as quickly as they can.

But only the three quickest teams will head automatically into

the next round.

So, let's get these set designers to the set.

Go for it, just go for it.

Nice.

Whoa... Oh, my God!

We have fun in the car, we whack up the music, we have a good sing-song.

OK, so what's playing in the car. Talk me through it.

Nolan Sisters, In The Mood For Dancing. Yeah?

MUSIC: I'm In The Mood For Dancing by the Nolan Sisters

Yes, keep going, keep going, keep going!

Yes, go through, go through. Argh!

Ooh, neatly through the Tin Can Alley and the Seesaw next.

Up. I am up.

Oh, here we go, here we go.

Slowly, keep going, keep going.

Keep going, keep going, keep going!

Agh...

# I'm in the mood, babe... #

Right, here's the ramp up the poorly engineered Bridge of Doom.

Aw, you're doing awesome.

Snot-rocket, come on.

Whoo!

Keep going, keep going.

Ooh, I've got burnt clutch.

Oh-ho.

What's going on? You've stalled it. What's going on? You stalled it.

It's all going so well(!)

You're going to have to go back and go back up again.

OK. Oh, no.

Heavens to Betsy.

See you, boys.

We'll leave them going backwards while we move forwards and

meet our next team, Team Yellow.

What we have here are siblings Hamid and Honey, but I'll let them

introduce themselves.

Listen, don't make us take this outside, OK?

Or inside, even. Don't, don't.

Look, I could take both, I could take both. Yeah, I know

because you're huge, you're like a dinosaur.

I could do his and hers. You need to like stop eating, move.

What was I saying again?

Uh, guys... Had a blonde moment. Sorry!

Do you know what? This TV business is more difficult than I

thought it is, OK? You see what I mean?

So, take three. Take three and action.

# My name is... What? #

Down the giant slide they go.

Brake, brake, brake, brake!

Hamid, brake.

I said brake, man. Well, it's not going to brake from there, is it?

Brother and sister, we work together. What do you do?

Security work. Do you?

So, we work with bands and stuff like that.

Crowds... You guys are in charge of making sure the whole thing...

In the summer, we do a lot of festivals.

You're like... I'm the volcano. Can't bring that water in here!

You can't bring it in so you're not going to bring it in!

To be honest, I was a bit intimidated by that. Sorry.

But their names are on the door so we're letting them onto

our Human Sat Nav.

These two bouncers must work together. Hamid is

blindfolded while Honey directs him round the dodgy roadworks.

Right. Go forward and just turn a little bit right.

A little bit right. Keep going, right, right,

right, right, right, Hamid! Right.

Our game plan for this...

Is to win. ..is very simple. I was going to get to that.

See? Do you see? Do you see?

OK, now left, left, left. OK, straight, straight now.

Turn right, turn right. Straight, straight, straight. Right, right.

Right. Yeah. Keep on it, right, right, right!

Ugh. Right, right, right.

Yes, I got it. Left, left, left, quick, quick!

Left, keep going down. Straight.

Oh, that is impressive.

OK, go straight, yeah. Keep going left, left, left, left, left.

Stop, take your thing off.

Windscreen wipers, OK, go.

Let's go.

I'm sweating...

Wey-hey!

So, they're out the Car Wash with a lovely foamy finish.

Score!

Car Football in the back of the net.

Ohh, we could have a very good time here.

And it's a final mad dash to the chequered flag.

Six! Bump me, bruv.

That was good, that was good.

That's how you do it.

Quite right, that is exactly how you do it.

The round one pacesetter is a strong 03:18.

That will not be easy to beat.

Meanwhile, the Greens are on to the Human Sat Nav.

Keep going, keep going. Keep going.

We're going round... No, keep going right!

Keep going right!

Do not turn! Wow, temper!

Ollie and Joshua are struggling. Maybe some new music would help.

What do you fancy?

Katy Perry. Yeah, all right.

How about Roar?

Aw, classic.

MUSIC: Roar by Katy Perry

# ...tiger, a fighter

# Dancing through the fire

# Cos I am a champion

# And you're going to hear me roar

# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh... #

Now start turning left, turn left.

Am I coming off? Yeah, you're coming off.

# Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh... #

Oh. On your own.

# Got the eye of the tiger, a fighter... #

And stop. Stop, stop!

Take those goggles off and go, go.

Come on, go. Sort it out.

Yeah, they're trying to nick off with the traffic cone.

Come on, boys, you're not students any more.

Keep going, keep going.

Right, windscreen wipers.

Stop, stop!

Stop, stop! Argh... Reverse!

That is not the way to Wembley.

While Ollie and Joshua swap insurance details with the

road sign, let's meet our next team.

In pink, so give 'em a wink.

Go on, give 'em a wink.

Go on. Wink at them, they can see, you know.

It's Matt and Katherine from Poole on the sunny south coast.

Matt, I love you. I love you too, baby.

Let's do it. I do, I really love you.

Boyfriend and girlfriend for nearly seven years, they know

exactly where the prize money will be going.

So, we can get married, if we won.

Mm. So, you've got to keep that in your head.

MUSIC: Wedding March by Mendelssohn

I need the best wedding.

You can do this. Come on, nice and slow, remember.

Whoa... Argh...

Oh, my God!

I never get bored of hearing people's reaction coming down that.

Oh, Jesus, it's so lucky I have this thing on me.

Oh, this little thing hugging me.

Do you mean the seatbelt?

MUSIC: White Wedding by Billy Idol

SHE SCREAMS

THEY LAUGH What do you guys do?

I'm a primary school teacher. Yep, high-five for that. Thank you.

And I work in the building game. Sort of tarmacking,

reinstating concrete work.

What do you reckon? It's spot-on now, I think.

Yeah. Absolutely.

Let's get this done, Matt.

Go. Whoo!

SHE WHOOPS

Oh, that's trouble.

TYRES SQUEAL

It just squealed like a pig. Oh!

THEY LAUGH

Like a pink pig!

Just let me breathe.

Right, OK. Um, left and right. Right, let's have a look.

Right, left, right.

OK, just double-checking her left and her right there.

That's it, right, right, right, right, right!

Back, reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse.

Reverse, I can't see properly. This is really deceiving.

I'm sorry, BBC, but what are you doing here?

You cannot see out of the side mirrors.

I can't see!

What do you mean, YOU can't see properly?!

Reverse, reverse. Come on. Reverse, reverse, reverse, reverse.

It took Kat a very long time to pass her test. Five years.

Five years?! Yeah. A lot of money on lessons.

How many lessons? Uh, 250.

MUSIC: Hey Ya by Outkast

Straighten up, you just pulled over to the left.

You're going to hit the yellow thing.

Yeah, probably don't hit the 15-tonne yellow thing!

That's it, just put your foot straight down, Matt.

OK, nearly there, just a simple drive into the white box to

remove Matt's blindfold.

Come on, this way, right, right, right, right.

Right, right, right! I am going right. Just turn it right!

This is right! OK, calm down.

Where are you going?

Forward, forward, forward, straight, left, left, left!

Oh, go back!

Right, straight on, Matt. You're straight in front of the box.

Which way? Just go straight in front of you!

Stop. Take your glasses off and turn around.

Can I take these off? Yes, take them off and turn around!

Oh, how did I get this way?

SHE LAUGHS

"How did I end up this way?"

HE LAUGHS

WHISTLE BLASTS

After a quick goal and a dash to the finish line...

Hurry up! Let's smash it!

..Team Pink clocked an OK-ish 06:21.

Oh, amazing. Matt, I think hashtag best moment ever.

Get some speed!

It's the sound. ENGINE REVS

Have it... Agh...

It's been an eventful run for the boys, let's see their time.

Whoo!

Six minutes and 30 seconds, even slower than Team Pink.

Dear, oh, dear.

Oh, lordy.

Oh, lordy.

I don't know what you were playing at, but you weren't listening

to anything I was saying.

Do you have any idea how difficult that is?

I don't care, I was giving you quite clear instructions. You should care.

So, three of the five teams have made it round the Hazard Highway.

Let's have a nosey at the leaderboard.

Top of the heap, Hamid and Honey are safely into round two.

Remember, only the three fastest teams qualify automatically

for the next round.

The slowest two will enter a race-off to decide whose

journey will be ending early.

So, hoping to avoid the indignity of the bottom two

are our final couples.

In red, it's husband and wife Laura and Stuart.

We've been married for ten years but Stuart was actually my first love,

aged six. Totally fancied him.

You first saw him when you were six years old? Yeah.

And you went, "That's the man for me." I'm having him.

Has he matured into what you thought he was going to mature into?

His dad, yeah.

Dad's going to be watching this!

Gee... I didn't say it was a bad thing.

Oh, no, no.

SHE CACKLES

Oh, I'm so excited!

And in blue, it's ex-husband and wife Jamie and Paula.

Tell us about your relationship. What's going on here?

Mmm. Mmm.

It's a very unconventional relationship.

I love the fact that it starts like this, "Mmm..."

We were married when we were very young. Yep.

Little bit too young. A little bit too young, yeah.

And we just decided that marriage was not for us, really.

Happily divorced for 23 years. Yeah. Most of that time.

MUSIC: ...Never Ever Getting Back Together by Taylor Swift

All right.

Come on, Jamie. We can do this.

Just do as I say and everything will be fine.

Right, then, legally coupled people versus consciously uncoupled people,

head to head.

Let's decide this, whatever "this" is,

right here, right now.

Handbrake. Oh, no! Take the handbrake off!

SCREAMING

Oh, can't see anything for that barrier but we're looking good.

That's it, Laura, perfect.

Perfect, keep it going, whoa, whoa.

Tin Can Alley no problem for either marriage or divorce.

Here come the Seesaws.

SHE SCREAMS

Jamie!

She is so terrified.

That's fine now, into first, that's good. Perfect.

Reds heading up the Bridge, Stuart very calm.

Oh, my God.

Paula in the Blues not quite so calm.

It's a long way up, though, innit?

Slow down! I'm going slow, sweetie. Ohh!

But despite the screams, divorce does seem like fun.

SHE SCREAMS

SHE LAUGHS

Right, Reds are at the Sat Nav, 01:26. Stuart, you have control.

Good, OK, right, nice and easy, straight...

No, no, don't turn till I tell you to turn.

Right, go straight, go... Don't turn, Laura!

I'm trying not. Go left, go left, pull it left.

Left, left, left, left, left! Oh, sorry. Wrong way.

Think we've got another right-left situation on our hands.

OK, Jamie and Paula's turn now.

Right, go. Right, OK, hard right, hard right, hard right.

Hard left, hard left! No, stop, stop!

Oh, my God.

Reverse, reverse, reverse, sorry.

I wonder if it's possible to get divorced again.

Right!

Lot of yelling from the Blues.

You wouldn't get shouting like that in a marriage, would you?

Right, still right, right, right. RIGHT!

Keep going, Laura! Left, left, left!

This is the first time since she was six

she might have questioned whether she's with the right man.

Right, straighten up! Straighten up! I don't know where straight is!

Right, right, right. Calm down, Stuart.

Right, Laura, go right.

No idea where Laura and Stuart are heading. Hopefully not divorce.

Whoo... The Blues, meanwhile, are in the Car Wash.

PAULA LAUGHS

Right, get that baby in the goal. In the goal,

in the goal, in the goal.

Oh, no!

Great save.

Yes!

Yes, goal!

Oh, stalled. Oh, no, it's stalled! Oh, this is tense.

Keep pushing it, Laura, go! I don't know what "pushing it" means!

Laura, go forward.

That's it. We're going to hit the kerb now... That's it.

Now, stop here, get the goggles off.

Argh! Right, go, boot it, absolutely boot it.

That's it, we're back in the game, come on, here we go.

The Reds are finally ready for some footy but, at the same time on

their run, the Blues are storming to the finish.

TYRES SQUEAL

Yes... Faster!

Oh, now slow down, slow down. Oh, don't say faster then slow down.

On the corner slow down...

Go...

Yes! That is it, 04:20. Just like their marriage -

over before it began.

Oh, God. I think I might have let a little bit of poo out.

I've let a bit of wee out, I think. Oh, well.

Yes, someone get the wet wipes.

And here come the Reds, 35 seconds later. Divorce is the clear winner

and that is my decree absolute.

You're a shouter.

So, as the final leaderboard shows,

both the Reds and the Blues did

enough to escape the bottom two

and join Hamid and Honey

in round two.

That means dishonour and disgrace must now be experienced first hand

by the Pinks and the Greens as they face off in the race-off.

So, here's the situation.

We've got a Red Stig, we've got a Blue Stig.

Their job is to drive you two

twice around the track as fast as they can.

Your job is to give me multiple answers to one question, OK?

Whoever gets the most correct answers, your team goes through,

fewest correct answers goes home. Helmets on, cuddles, cars.

Time for the race-off.

Hoo!

TYRES SQUEAL

Stop staring at me.

You're going to put me off. Right, don't even look at me.

What are you looking at?

Don't kill me, please.

Honestly, don't kill me. ENGINE REVS

Ohh.

Here is your question.

Name as many of the following as you can.

Celebrity contestants who have appeared on Strictly Come Dancing.

Three, two, one, go.

So, here we go, two laps of the track to name celebrities who

have appeared on Strictly.

I've never watched Strictly Come Dancing in my life.

That's a shame, it's quite good.

Um...Kelly Bright, Shane Richie, Peter Andre...

Beyonce... Um, haven't got a clue, I haven't got a clue.

# Let's face the music and dance. #

Oh, my God, I knew I wouldn't get this...

Audrey Beardsley...

Great answer - the stunning and totally made up Audrey Beardsley.

Any real names, Kat(?)

Um, Mark Wright.

Judi Dench.

No, she's not famous enough.

Judy Moore, Judy Walters.

Loving the J names, Joshua.

Matt, why didn't you make me watch it?

Last push, give us one more.

No way. All right, don't then.

Didn't want to let my boyfriend down.

But that's all I did.

Thank you.

Best ride of my life.

Oh, can we just take a moment there? No.

Let's just get on with it.

That was amazing. Just so you know, I don't watch Strictly.

The question was, name as many of the following as you can,

celebrity contestants who appeared on Strictly Come Dancing.

Kat, you a Strictly fan? Not at all, never watched it.

You got...

one correct answer. Well done, babe. Thank you.

Well done. At least I got one.

Joshua...

..two correct answers. Oh, yes!

APPLAUSE

Yes!

Ollie and Joshua, you're heading through to the next round.

Kat and Matt, we have to say goodbye to you. That's all right. Well done.

Don't be annoyed with me, I'm really sorry. Babe, it's not your fault.

I feel really bad, feel like it's all my fault, cos I was so slow

getting you through the roundabout.

Forward, forward, straight, left, left, left!

Ohh, go back! You're straight in front of the box.

I can't believe we did this. This was amazing.

Well done. Amazing, amazing.

Best experience ever.

Ever. Yeah. Let's do it again.

# I just want to love you... #

Loved Kat and Matt!

So, sadly, we have to say goodbye to Kat and Matt, but four couples

remain, all of whom we could say goodbye to, as we head on to

the wild and uncharted territory of round two, Off-Road Rage.

Great outdoors of Africa! The sweet smell of the plant life,

the acrid bitterness of the dust-filled air, and the petrol-y,

metallic smell of these.

Ooh, that's lovely.

In Off-Road Rage, our four remaining teams will be hoping to clock

the quickest time round our treacherous off-road track,

making sure they don't bump into these Stig heads.

If they do, they incur a time penalty.

Knocking over a white one incurs a five-second penalty,

a red one, ten seconds.

The slowest two go into the race-off.

Get that fly off the lens! First up, Jamie and Paula.

Am I going to love this? Yeah, you'll love it.

You will look after me, won't you? Your husband did ask me to

look after you, so... That's true. ..I'll do my best. OK.

Jamie and Paula, welcome to round two. Thank you. How are we feeling?

Very excited. We're very good, very excited.

Can't wait to get going.

Best of luck, guys. Thank you very much. Thank you, Dermot.

Three, two, one, go. Go!

Round two is all about getting the balance right

between driving fast and not hitting the Stigs.

SHE SHRIEKS

I love it, mind the Stigs, mind the Stigs.

Stig, Stig, Stig, Stig!

I like the fact she was surprised to see they were there.

Mind the Stigs!

Unluckily, a Stig downed purely by sound waves from Paula's screams.

Right, there's Stigs coming up, listen to me.

I'm going to go through the middle. Mind the reds!

Jamie's going for speed rather than precision. Will it pay off?

Right, OK.

Whoa. Stop! Go!

HE LAUGHS

Mind the Stigs!

Jamie, we're not married any more, there's no life insurance on me.

It won't help you, don't kill me!

Right, wait, stop, stop, stop...

Stop! Pretty clear Jamie has no intention

of listening to his ex-wife at any stage at all.

Jamie!

MUSIC: Shout by Lulu

Argh!

Wah!

SHE SCREAMS

You're supposed to listen to me!

Oh, they are a tonic, aren't they?

Jamie, was the idea NOT to listen to me?

I can't listen to you. You annoy me so much.

You just scream, I can't make out what you're saying, sweetie.

Who understands that? What do you not understand about, "Stop,"

like that? How can you not understand what that means?

Just get me out the car.

A race time of 01:36 plus 01:40 of penalties means our

pacesetter is 03:16. Ollie and Joshua are up next.

Go, come on, let's 'ave it.

Ollie and Joshua, still here. Last time we saw you was that momentous

occasion when Joshua's incredible general knowledge saved you.

Uh, incredible? I only got two.

Best of luck, chaps.

I'm excited. So excited.

Three, two, one, go.

03:16, the time to beat, but they don't know that.

MUSIC: I'm So Excited by the Pointer Sisters

Whoa!

Come on. Right, there's Stigs coming up on the right.

OK, no, don't knock the red, not the red!

Oh, no! Keep going, keep going.

Keep going, keep going.

DERMOT LAUGHS

Come on.

No, careful, do not hit this one, do not hit this one.

Fantastic. Steer to your left, keep to your left.

And inside to the right, inside.

Oh, keep going left, keep going left.

Oh, well done. Argh! Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Oh, my life!

There's some Stigs coming up. Try and take your left-hand side.

Not the red, not the red.

There we go, nicely done, nicely done. Whoa. Keep going.

They're approaching the Cape of No Hope, the boys are already

15 seconds behind the Blues at this stage.

They've got to avoid that red. Reverse, reverse. Quickly, quickly.

I'm trying, I'm trying. Avoid the red. Avoid the red.

OK, don't listen to me. Just go wild.

MUSIC: Wild Boys by Duran Duran

Ooh, lovely cue... Agh!

Come on, baby. ..as if by magic.

A mammoth effort required now if they're to beat the Blues.

Don't you hit any more Stigs.

Or just hit loads of Stigs and throw up a load of dust

so you can't see a thing.

Go, go for it, go for it.

Sorry, Stiggy.

Keep going, keep going.

Round Cheetah's Corner at the breakneck speed of 2mph.

Not going to help their time.

Come on!

Oh, my life! Woo-hoo!

THEY LAUGH

And another Stig down, for good measure. Nicely done.

Yes!

# Wild boys! #

Including penalties,

the boys clocked a disappointing time of 03:51.

They'll need the final two teams to hit every statue out of some

crazed hatred for the Stig, which is ridiculous because the Stig's

actually really lovely.

As long as you don't confuse him with Sting.

# With every step you take

# Every move you make... #

Next up, it's driver Laura and her hubby Stuart.

Did my nails.

Oh, God.

Listen, best of luck.

All right? Thank you.

Three, two, one, go.

Right, things are getting serious. In order to avoid a possible

race-off, Laura needs to beat the Blues' time of 03:16.

Go left, go left, go left.

Good start for them, and Stuart's giving loads of support.

That's it, perfect. Just boot him, nice one.

Over the bumps.

Whoo! Here we go.

Perfect. Loving a bump, loving a bump.

Go right.

Laura cleverly staying right there, a red and white Stig down

better than four whites.

Stay left, stay left.

Round the Cape, another red Stig down.

Off we go, that's it.

The Stig count is building, but Stuart is relentlessly lovely.

Brilliant, Laura, doing brilliant.

# Where there is love I'll be there... #

That's it.

Nice one, Laura. Right. Down we go, down we go.

Loved that.

Looking good.

Looking good, very quick round Cheetah's Corner.

This is my average driving day.

Taking the kids to school. What about that bad boy?

DERMOT LAUGHS

Right, stay left, go easy, go easy.

Lovely, boot it, absolutely boot it, yes!

Impressive, wasn't it?

You hit 12 Stig heads, including three reds, which was 01:15

giving you a total time of 02:57,

which means you're fastest today and it means you're guaranteed a place

in the next round. Aw, get in! Yeah!

It also means Josh will definitely be in another race-off.

Look at his happy little face.

Right, last team, Hamid and Honey.

"Start finish" - how does that make any sense?

Honey, please.

Well, when it comes to knowledge, general or non general... Oh, God.

Put it this way, I'm putting all of my effort into not ending up

in the bottom two for a very, very good reason.

Yeah. I assure you.

Three, two, one, go...

So, for Hamid to keep Honey well away from a race-off,

he too will have to beat the Blues' time of 03:16.

Ahh! Hamid!

Get your race face on.

Yeah, that's the one.

Go right. In the middle. Come on.

Speed it up, just speed it up.

She's shouting at him, "Speed it up, speed it up."

Go right, go right, go right.

And then go left.

Go left, yes.

Shout all you like, Honey, Hamid is not listening.

He's gone full Stig.

Argh! Aw, man.

I'm starting to feel worried now. Hamid?

# Hello, can you hear me? #

Right! Go right, go right.

Hit the last one though,

the back wheel hit the last one, which is good.

Go faster, go faster. Say something, Hamid. Anything.

# Hello... #

Aw, man. Ohh... It's not good, Hamid.

Whoop-whoop! Whoop-whoop!

Hamid and Honey.

You hit 11 Stigs... Pfff!

..including two reds. That is 01:05 of penalties.

Add that to your total time of 01:51, gives you, by a second,

the fastest time today of 02:56.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Which means... Oh-oh. Yeah, they know it already, yeah.

Listen, best of luck.

It's the race-off part two, just when you thought it was safe

to go back in the buggy.

So, Joshua returns for another race-off, this time against Paula.

The pair must give multiple answers to one simple question whilst

toughing it out in a high-speed jaunt around our off-road track.

Let's hope Joshua and Paula enjoyed a very light lunch.

As I say, slow as you like, darling.

Slow as you like, darling. Slow as you like.

SHE LAUGHS

He can't take his eyes off me. Look at him, he fancies me.

Paula, Paula, this one wants me.

SHE LAUGHS

ENGINE REVS

You have one lap to give me as many of the following as you can.

OK.

Capital cities of countries in the European Union.

Three, two, one, go. Go on, Josh!

You've got London, Paris, Berlin, Madrid.

Paris, London, Stockholm, Brussels.

Great answers so far from both of them. Come on, Joshua,

what else have you got?

MUSIC: Ode To Joy by Beethoven

Flaming hell. Is that in the EU(?)

Come on, Paula, you can do this.

Yeah, come on, Paula.

Finland.

Capital of Iceland, what's the capital of... Reykjavik!

Trivia fans will know that Iceland is in fact in the EA but not

in the EU. Tch, keep trying.

Dublin, Edinburgh. I can't remember any!

Helsinki. Oh, this is brilliant.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

We've done France, we've done Germany, we've done Iceland...

Oh, my life!

Come on! Concentrate.

Warsaw, Rome.

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, my God, the wheel nearly came off.

What's the capital of Portugal?

Yeah, what's the capital of Portugal?

Greece! No... Oh, sugar.

Last chance, Paula. Oh, God! So many more to say.

Ohhhh!

You both had one lap to give me as many of the following as you can,

capital cities of countries in the European Union.

I'm sorry.

Paula, let's go to you first.

Oh, God, sorry, kids.

You got...

eight correct answers. Oh, well done, babe.

That's good. I didn't expect anything to come out of your mouth

of any sense, so that's really good.

That's a lovely sentiment(!) Well done, you did very well.

Joshua...

Four. Aww.

Sorry, mate. Which means you guys are out of the competition.

I feel a little bit down now, I feel like I could've done better.

I feel like I've let you down a bit. Yeah, I'm gutted

that I sort of put you in the race-off again.

But we've had so much fun. This experience has been insane.

Agh! Oh, my God!

Do not turn! Wow, temper.

This is just another step on our big adventure.

No, not the red, not the red! Argh, no!

DERMOT LAUGHS

Here's to the next adventure. Next one.

# But losing everything is like the sun going down on me. #

So, the Blues qualify, thanks to Paula's general knowledge,

which will come in very handy in round three,

as will their "driving really fast through walls" skills.

It's time for the Drive-Thru.

At the end of these lanes are two answers to one question.

When the lights go green, our contestants have to race as fast as

they dare through what they think

is the right answer in these Volkswagen Polos.

They'll need to be right and they will need to be fast,

because at the end of each race, one team loses a life.

Lose two lives and that is it, game over.

At the end we're left with one couple, our finalists,

ready to get behind the wheel of the Getaway Car, potentially win

?10,000 and go head to head with this thinly veiled -

or thickly visored - driver.

In lane one, it's the Blues, cheerily divorced Jamie and Paula.

Yeah, make sure you get it into gear.

ENGINE REVS

Stalled it.

SHE TUTS

Hmm. In lane two, the super siblings of Team Yellow.

Ow. Ow!

What's that for?

Lastly, still happily married Reds, Laura and Stuart, in lane three.

Hi, guys.

We've got to beat him. Hey? We've got to beat him.

Well, hello, teams, and welcome to round three.

This is race director Dermot.

Race one, question one, best of luck.

In the first chorus of I Should Be So Lucky, how many times does

Kylie Minogue sing the word "lucky"?

10 or 11?

Three, two, one, go.

Uh, OK, Honey, help out.

What do you think, Stuart?

# ..Lucky, lucky, lucky I should be so lucky in love. #

Go for ten. OK, we'll go for ten. No, go for 11, go for 11.

OK, 11.

# Lucky, lucky, lucky in love. #

Ten!

11, 11, right, stay right, stay right, 11, push through.

Ten, ten, ten, ten!

Whoo!

So, first question.

In the first chorus of I Should Be So Lucky, how many times does

Kylie Minogue sing the word "lucky", 10 or 11?

Reds, Yellows went with 11.

Blues, Jamie and Paula, went with ten.

Correct answer...

was ten.

Well done.

Well done to Jamie and Paula, but for the two incorrect teams,

it's down to speed. Hamid and Honey were slowest, therefore they lose

a life and can't afford to lose another.

How did she do it so fast? I don't get it.

They're gone.

Hamid's going to be gutted.

SHE LAUGHS

Tough.

Yeah, I don't see you knowing a Kylie Minogue song.

I'm so lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, I'm so lucky, lucky, lucky.

HE EXHALES

Speed, I have the speed, I have the power,

I have the intelligence to get through. No.

All right, teams, one round down.

Hamid and Honey, you've been very fast so far.

Can't afford to get this one wrong. I don't know which would be worse,

getting this wrong, or Hamid having to face Honey IF he gets it wrong.

Yeah. Huh.

OK.

Round two, question two.

True or false.

US President John F Kennedy's middle name was Frederick.

Three, two, one, go.

Hamid.

John Franklin Kennedy, isn't it?

It's Fitzgerald or something like that.

Go, go, go, go, go false, Jamie, go false.

I'm feeling like saying false, I don't know why.

Let's go for false, OK? Yeah. I love a bit of JFK.

SHE SCREAMS

It didn't go. I put my foot down, it didn't go.

Why did it not go, Hamid?

Thanks for your input, anyway.

I didn't know. Did you have any...? No, I didn't know.

All right, teams, getting tense now.

Round two, question two.

Question was true or false - US President John F Kennedy's

middle name was Frederick.

You all went with false.

You were all correct.

His name was Fitzgerald.

So, it all comes down to speed.

And the slowest...

..were Hamid and Honey, losing your second life,

so, you leave the competition, guys, sorry.

No, that's all right. Thank you very much. Yep, great.

The rest of you guys, helmets on, back to the start.

MUSIC: Dry Your Eyes by The Streets

Thank you, mate.

Aw, Honey.

Hamid, I don't understand why every other time you were perfectly fine,

just right now, you... Well, you saw what happened. I put my foot

all the way down. I was looking at you when my foot was fully down.

Aw, Hamid. There must have been something you had done wrong.

Cheers, man, thank you very much.

I really appreciate that.

# Dry your eyes, mate... #

We made it far and we were first for both the first two rounds.

Show us your skills, bruv.

You know you've got the skills.

We had too high expectations for ourselves.

Six, bump me, bruv!

I did expect us to be better than that and I did expect him

to be a bit faster but you win, you lose some.

That's it.

# But you've got to walk away now... #

Last two.

It's crazy, innit? It's mental.

You ready, Eddie? Hell, yeah.

Hell, yeah.

All right, teams, round three, question three.

One husband and wife versus one...

..ex-husband and wife.

So far, everyone's still got all their lives intact.

Wish you the best of luck. Thank you, Dermot.

Here's your question.

In which country did LEGO originate,

Sweden or Denmark?

Three, two, one, go.

Give it some, give it some, Laura.

Sweden or Denmark?

I've seen a programme about LEGO making.

I'm pretty sure it's Sweden.

I think LEGOLAND is Danish.

Go Sweden, go Sweden, Sweden, Sweden. Left? Yeah, left!

Left, left, left, left!

Go red, go red, go red.

Whoo!

Oh, they've gone the other way.

Ooh, they've gone the other way, babe. Oh, no.

The Blues, Paula and Jamie, were the quickest but by choosing Sweden,

they were also the...wrongest.

So, they lose a life and simply must win the next race.

LEGO.

Well, this could well be the last drive...

Last drive in the history of the Getaway Car.

Let's do it then, last one.

Race four, question four.

In the 21st century, which manager has won more Premier League titles,

Jose Mourinho or Sir Alex Ferguson?

Three, two, one, go.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

OK, Alex Ferguson, he was manager of Man United 25 years,

won just about everything in the game.

Do you know? No. Do you know it? I haven't got a clue. Mourinho?

Right, Laura, that's it, keep going nice and quick.

Oh, God, Mourinho, then, I'd say.

That's good, that's good, that's good... Oh, no.

Right, right, right, right!

Please be right!

The Blues were once again well ahead but have they got the

question right?

JAMIE LAUGHS

I think we might've got it.

What do I know about football, Jamie? Seriously?

I don't even know what the Premier League is.

Race four, question four, teams.

In the 21st century, which manager has won more Premier League titles,

Jose Mourinho or Sir Alex Ferguson?

Laura, Stuart, you went with Sir Alex.

Jamie and Paula, you went with Jose Mourinho.

Correct answer...

was Sir Alex Ferguson.

Which means, Laura, Stuart, you are tonight's finalists.

Congratulations.

Jamie, Paula, thank you so much. Thank you.

The experience has been the best we've ever had together.

I don't even feel that disappointed, really,

cos we've come further than we ever thought we would.

SHE SCREAMS

Jamie!

The kids would've spent all the money anyway, wouldn't they?

Hey-ho.

Right, brake, stop, stop, stop...

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, my God, the wheel nearly came off.

This will be the last time you get to touch me for a while, babe.

Just pretend that you're enjoying it.

# All good things come to an end... #

As four couples take a back seat, one couple, Laura and Stuart,

will be very much in the front seat, specifically of the Getaway Car.

How our finalists do, however, is rather dependent on this

insufferable cad. En garde!

There's probably four periods in my life that...

..that I'm so proud of Laura.

One was the day she walked down the aisle, the other two,

obviously, are the birth of our kids, the fourth was getting us to

the Getaway Chase against the Stig.

Blew me away on all four occasions, just don't know what to say,

honestly. Just fantastic.

Oh, no, I'm starting to go. Fantastic.

Keep pushing it, Laura, go! I don't know what "pushing it" means!

Laura, go forward.

Quite surprised I got through the first round,

I really did think, against four blokes as well.

Not being sexist too much,

but I felt like I didn't have much of a chance.

And so getting through the first round was great and then it

gives you the confidence to do the next one. When I got to the

next one, I was like, "Yes!"

Floor it, floor it.

Whoo! Perfect.

Loving a bump, loving a bump.

This is my average driving day.

Taking the kids to school. Loving that bad boy.

I'm confident you can get away from the Stig tonight.

I think you can. Yeah, I'm going to try really hard.

Yeah. Yes, yes.

Look what you've done today.

I know. It's a breeze now.

Yeah. Yeah.

And so we reach the final round, the Getaway Chase.

Laura and Stuart's job is to drive as fast as they can around

the track twice in this,

the Getaway Car.

One word to describe it would be "fast".

One word to describe how it should be driven would be "carefully".

So, Laura and Stuart, take note.

Now, on one level, the challenge facing Laura and Stuart could

not be more simple.

Each time they pass under a money gate, they bank that amount of cash.

However, seconds after they take off, the Stig gets a green light

and then he starts to hunt them down.

The minute he catches up with them, it is game over,

but if they get to the finish line first,

the ?10,000 jackpot is theirs.

However, the Stig has numerous supercars to choose from and

tonight, he has chosen a real peach, the Ferrari F12.

Ooh-wee!

With a top speed of 211mph, and 0-60 in just three seconds, it is

significantly quicker than the Getaway Car.

So, to make this an even contest, our pit crew boffins have

calculated that with an eight-second head start

and a flawless drive,

Laura and Stuart could walk away with the jackpot of

10,000 Scottish pounds.

So, one tartan army versus one Stig.

Let the Getaway Chase commence.

All right, I can't touch you too much, I'm going to not concentrate.

OK, just you get in the zone.

I can see him coming.

SHE GIGGLES

Don't bother about him. I know.

There's the Stiggy.

I can't see him, it's fine. He looks nice.

Looks like he's in a good mood.

ENGINE REVS

Right, OK, you ready, Laura? Let's do this.

Here we go.

Right, for the final time this series, and with only the

second female finalist, we are off. Come on, Laura.

Excellent, excellent, Laura.

But here comes the Stig.

Look at that bad boy!

Very fast around the first corner, great driving from Laura.

Get up there, go on.

Yes, that's a grand in the bank.

?1,000 banked but the head start is down to five seconds.

That's two grand in the bank.

Yep, ?2,000, but the lead's now four seconds.

Brilliant, that's holding the road great, Laura.

Ooh! Excellent, boot it.

The Stig's getting very close now.

Absolutely awesome.

That's ?3,000, but their lead's now only two seconds.

That's good, that's good, Laura. That's good, we're coming up

for six grand now.

That's it, absolutely floor it. Brilliant.

Stig's on the tail, just keep it going, let's get eight grand here.

Woo-ha! Nice one, absolutely brilliant.

Eight grand, well done. Can they make it to ten?

Stig's on your outside here.

Laura's gone wide. Stig, stay where you are, wee man!

And it's over.

That's brilliant, though, Laura. Aw... Hey, that's eight grand!

That's eight grand. ?8,000 banked, a heroic effort from Laura there.

Beautifully driven, fast and controlled until that final

frantic corner. Laura went too wide and allowed the wee man,

the Stig, to nip in in the dying seconds.

But these two should be so, so proud,

they were brilliant in every round.

Yes! Aw, how about that?

Oh, woo! Ha-ha!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So, there we have it, our final winners of the current

Getaway Car series.

Didn't we have some fun along the way?

# Maybe I didn't treat you

# Quite as good as I should have... #

Ooh!

OK, let's go a bit forward.

SHE SHRIEKS

No, no, no, stop! Oh, my God.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Ugh.

Oh, my God, I love you!

Do not spin off!

SHE SCREAMS

Get in there! Stop, stop!

Whoa!

Oh, no!

You need to win it! You need to win it!

He's going to do it.

SHE SCREAMS

I beat the Stig!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Come here, you.

Next time.

# Maybe I didn't treat you

# Quite as good as I should have

# Maybe I didn't love you

# Quite as often as I could have

# Maybe I didn't hold you... #

It's carnival time here for Great Britain!