01/03/1979 The Good Old Days


01/03/1979

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# Ah, flippety hop, ah, flippety hop

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# Where the boys and girls are found

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# Hopping and skipping it round and round

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# When we start the dancing we never know when to stop

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# It's aye-aye, go as you please

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# Ah, flippety hop

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# Ah, flippety hop, ah, flippety hop

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# Where the boys and girls are found

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# Hopping and skipping it round and round

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# When we start the dancing we never know when to stop

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# It's aye-aye, go as you please

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# Ah, flippety hop

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# Casey would waltz with a strawberry blonde

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# And the band played on

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# He'd glide cross the floor with the girl he adored

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# And the band played on

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# His brain was so loaded it nearly exploded

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# The poor girl would shake with alarm

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# He'd ne'er leave the girl with the strawberry curls

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# And the band played on

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# And the band played on

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# And they all walk a wibbly wobbly walk

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# All talk a wibbly wobbly talk

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# All wear wibbly wobbly ties

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# Wink at all the pretty girls with wibbly wobbly eyes

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# And they all smile a wibbly wobbly smile

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# When the day is dawning

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# And all do a wibbly wobbly walk

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# They get a wibbly wobbly feeling in the morning

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# And they all walk a wibbly wobbly walk

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# All talk a wibbly wobbly talk

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# All wear wibbly wobbly ties

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# Wink at all the pretty girls with wibbly wobbly eyes

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# And they all smile a wibbly wobbly smile

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# When the day is dawning

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# And all do the wibbly wobbly walk

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# They get a wibbly wobbly feeling

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# A wibbly wobbly feeling

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# A wibbly wobbly wibbly wobbly wibbly wobbly walk. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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FANFARE

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Once again,

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good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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-AUDIENCE:

-Good evening.

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Guten Abend, meine Damen und Herren.

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APPLAUSE

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That is for the 52 dames who have made the trip

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especially to see the show.

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Applaud them for me.

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APPLAUSE

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Philoprogenitively...

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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..proliferate of para polysyllabically pertinence...

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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..epithets promulgating primarily

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imperturbably epicene...

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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..Mr John Inman!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Oh, stop, stop. I love it so much.

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LAUGHTER

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Don't you all look lovely?

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-AUDIENCE:

-Yes.

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LAUGHTER

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Who asked you? I was talking to this lot.

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You do. All the pretty dresses, the earrings, the necklaces...

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..and the ladies look nice, too.

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LAUGHTER

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You're looking at me thinking the same thing, aren't you?

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Well, there's no chance at all because a bachelor I am

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and a bachelor I'm going to be, just like my father.

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I'll tell you about him. Shall we go?

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BAND STRIKES UP

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# Mammas galore are after me

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# They think that I'm a catch

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# But I was born a bachelor and still I mean to bach

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# I look around at dear old pals who've got that married look

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# But I've become a bachelor and I go home and sack the cook

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# I'm tickled to death I'm single

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# I'm tickled to death I'm free

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# What the wives are saying doesn't apply to me

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# I'm awfully glad I'm single

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# I'm frightfully bucked I'm free

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# I've seen the men who are married

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# I've seen the hook being baited

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# But I've been inoculated

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# They can't catch me

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# I'm tickled to death I'm single

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# I'm tickled to death I'm free

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# I've got my independence

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# I've got the front door key

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# I'm frightfully glad I've not got a W-I-F-E

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# Marriage may bring the real times

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# Honeymoon brings the real times

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# But I like a change at mealtimes

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# They can't catch me

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# Now, marriage is a honeymoon where lives are wrecked

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# And husband wants to fly away

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# He gets severely pecked

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# Now behind his prison bars he sees the love birds fly about

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# Now he'd be wild and so would she if only he got out

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# I'm tickled to death I'm single

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# I'm tickled to death I'm free

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# Eggs do not interest me

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# I like them cooked for tea

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# I can't believe the fable

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# That birds in their nests agree

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# I've seen the hen-pecked paters

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# Looking like ragtime waiters

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# Pushing perambulators

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# They can't catch me. #

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Whoop! See you later.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Exotic embodiment

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of rhapsodic romantic

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aspirations, deliquescent for your delight,

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Miss Rita Monet.

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# Once upon a time

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# Many years ago

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# Lived a fair princess Hating to confess

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# Loneliness was torturing her so

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# Then a gypsy came

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# Called to her by name

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# Wooed her with a song Sensuous and strong

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# All the Summer long Her passions seemed to tremble

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# Like a living flame

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# Play to me beneath the Summer moon

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# Zigeuner

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# Zigeuner

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# Zigeuner

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# All I ask of life is just to listen to the songs that you sing

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# My spirit like a bird on the wing

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# Your melodies adoring

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# Soaring

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# Call to me with some barbaric tune

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# Zigeuner

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# Zigeuner

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# Zigeuner

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# Now you have me in your power

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# Play to me for just one hour

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# Zigeuner

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SHE SINGS NOTES

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# Call to me with some barbaric tune

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# Zigeuner

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# Zigeuner

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# Zigeuner

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# Now you hold me in your power

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# Play to me for just one hour

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# Zigeuner. #

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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SHE SINGS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Only one of the fringe benefits.

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Light-fingered in legerdemain,

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preposterously presumptuous

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in prestidigitation,

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conjuring

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Mr John Wade.

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FANFARE

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Well, good evening. It is very nice to be back here, it is.

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I was working it out.

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About a year ago since I last graced these boards,

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and it's a long time to be out of work.

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LAUGHTER

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What I normally try and do is to try and show you tricks you can do

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with everyday little articles and things like this.

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I have a thimble here,

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because I spend a great deal of money on the equipment I use.

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Take this thimble. You put it in your left hand, you take it off,

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you give it a squeeze, it goes up your sleeve,

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across your chest, down your sleeve and back on your finger.

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Sensational, isn't it?

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A lot of people think I use two thimbles for this.

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As a matter of fact, we use four, of course.

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Splendid thing.

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-APPLAUSE

-Many...

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All that applause, I thought somebody else had walked on.

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No, it's...

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You really want to get away with it, bit of luck,

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you get yourself a nice big one like that. Look at that.

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FANFARE

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Now, I didn't know what to do today, as you may have gathered.

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So I said to the man who washes my motor car every day,

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I said, "Sax," I said, "Let's, erm..."

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-LAUGHTER

-"..have a chat."

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And he said, "Do a card trick,"

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so we'll try a card trick and let's do one that uses members of

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the audience, people of the utmost integrity

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and it may not be too easy tonight...

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This is a rather dog-eared old pack of cards... I'm sorry to wake you.

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Would you, erm...?

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LAUGHTER

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Would you take those cards in your hand, sir? Don't open them.

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Don't look at them, and don't leave.

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Just a minute. Just pop them in a pocket or something

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and forget you have them just for a little while.

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I have to say this. We haven't met before, have we?

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-Indeed not, no.

-No, jolly good. Now...

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Now we're going to pick somebody else.

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I'm just going to go to this gentleman here,

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who didn't know I was going to ask him, but he's nice and handy.

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-So from where you're sitting, would you help me with a trick?

-Yes, sir.

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I say from where you're sitting,

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because most of the places where I work, they can't stand up.

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LAUGHTER

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Now, the gentleman there who has the real pack,

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do you have an imagination?

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LAUGHTER

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Does he?

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Going to need one now, because the gentleman who has the real pack,

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we're going to use an invisible pack. I have one.

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There.

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-Can you see that invisible pack?

-Yes.

-Good lad.

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There's always one, isn't there? No!

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I'm going to throw this invisible pack to you. Will you catch them?

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-Yes.

-Coming down.

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I missed them.

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LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

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Take the rubber band off.

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Put it in your pocket.

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Not giving anything away here right now.

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Undo the card case.

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Take the cards out. Put the case on the lady's lap beside you.

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You might as well enjoy yourself. That's it.

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Now you have 54 invisible cards in your hands.

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Spread them out a little.

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54 because there are, of course, two jokers.

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Him and one other.

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LAUGHTER

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Would you take the two jokers right out, sir?

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Thank you very much indeed.

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Now you have 52 invisible cards

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and a fellow at the front door in a white coat waiting for both of us.

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Right, now.

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The only difficult thing I want you to do is take any one of those

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invisible cards, any one you like at random,

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and take it right out of the pack and hold it up

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but don't let me see it.

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LAUGHTER

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Would you show it to the lady sitting next to you, please?

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-Did you see it, madam?

-Yes.

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LAUGHTER

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She's as mad as he is, you know. It's barkers.

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Look at it yourself, sir, would you?

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Remember it. Put it back in the pack. Now, when you put it back,

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reverse it so it's the only card the wrong way round.

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Lovely. Square them up, give them a little shuffle.

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That's it. Put them back. You dropped one.

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Two? Oh, beg your pardon.

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LAUGHTER

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They're coming to get us all in a minute.

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Put them back in the case. You left it on the lady's lap. That's it.

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And put the rubber band back, please.

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And throw them back to me because I have to do this another time.

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Thank you.

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Well, it passes the time, doesn't it?

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Do you still have the real pack, sir?

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-I think so.

-I hope so. Jolly good.

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Would you just for the moment hold them like that,

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so that people know that you don't touch them,

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and neither do I, because we'll all be looking at this.

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Now, thank you very much for playing the game. Bless your heart.

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You had no idea this was going to happen, did you?

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You took an invisible card out of an invisible pack

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and you showed it to the lady sitting next to you.

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None of us has met before.

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What card did he show you?

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LAUGHTER

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-Have I to tell you?

-You tell me.

-Queen of diamonds.

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The queen of diamonds? Now, you saw it as well, sir.

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-Was it the queen of diamonds?

-No.

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LAUGHTER

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I knew it. I knew it.

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-What card did you see?

-The ace of hearts.

-Ace of hearts.

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They are rather alike, aren't they?

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We're going to have to come to a compromise.

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Would you like to get your heads together?

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It's been one of those days, hasn't it? It's been awful.

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Everything's gone wrong at the moment.

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I suppose it's the situation.

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I always think, every time our prime minister goes

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abroad on our behalf, I always think,

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wouldn't it be wonderful if, when he came back, we'd all gone?

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LAUGHTER

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APPLAUSE

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Have you come to an arrangement?

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About a card?

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-What have you chosen?

-Ace of hearts.

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The ace of hearts? You've compromised with him?

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That's very nice. Ace of hearts.

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-Do you want to change your mind?

-No, no.

-Please, it's not very easy.

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LAUGHTER

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-Ace of hearts, you're going to stick to it?

-Yes.

-Ace of hearts.

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Can I have those cards back from you, sir?

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Thank you very much indeed, you've been looking after them all along.

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Bring them back over here.

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We'll take the rubber band off the cards.

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Open the pack up. You said the ace of hearts.

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As we go through these cards,

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there should be only one card the wrong way round.

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Because that's what you did with your funny thing, wasn't it?

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So let's go through these cards. Ace of hearts is what you said.

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Let's just totter through the cards rather quickly.

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And as we go through, I think right at the back... Isn't it funny?

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I've got a feeling. Right at the

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back, there's one card there with its back...

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If it's the ace of hearts. Are we right? Did we do it right?

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FANFARE CHEERING

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That's it. There we go.

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Thank you.

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APPLAUSE

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Munificently mellifluous,

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quadraphonic

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antiphonists.

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Musical mixed doubles,

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the Balladiers!

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FANFARE

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PIANO MUSIC

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# Love's last word is spoken, cherie

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# Now my heart is broken, cherie

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# All our dreams have gone

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# And like a broken melody

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# Melody

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# Love's last word is spoken, cherie

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# My cherie

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# Do you remember a night in September, my own

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# Love was around us He came out and found us alone

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# Now he has left us Bereft us of all we esteemed

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# Words that once mattered

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# And flattered Were not what they seemed

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# Or we dreamed

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# Or we dreamed

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# Love's last word is spoken, cherie

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# Now my heart is broken, cherie

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# My cherie

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# Faded the hours I spent with you

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# Roaming the boulevards Content with you

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# Once our hearts were blended, cherie

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# Now our dream is ended, cherie

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# All our dreams have gone

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# And like a broken melody

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# Melody

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# Love's last word is spoken, cherie

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# My cherie. #

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APPLAUSE

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FANFARE

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The acme,

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the apogee

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of elocutionary eloquence

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from Mr Raymond Bower!

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FANFARE

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Ladies and gentlemen, it is

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my pleasure tonight to give you a rendering of a monologue...

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Excuse me.

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..which has been a favourite of mine for many years

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and I'm sure is a great favourite of yours. I refer, of course...

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..well, you can't get in anywhere. Thank you very much.

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I refer, of course, to the Green Eye of the Little Yellow...

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Good evening, good evening.

0:23:440:23:46

-Excuse me.

-It's pouring down outside.

0:23:480:23:51

Excuse me!

0:23:520:23:53

Why, what have you done?

0:23:530:23:55

A little respect for the artiste, sir, if you please.

0:23:560:23:59

-I'm sorry. Do carry on.

-Not at all. May I continue?

-But do.

-Thank you.

0:23:590:24:02

You're welcome.

0:24:020:24:04

I refer, of course, to the

0:24:040:24:05

Green Eye of the Little Yellow God by Milton Hayes.

0:24:050:24:08

-Thank you.

-You're welcome again.

0:24:080:24:10

LAUGHTER

0:24:100:24:12

-Ahem.

-Ahem.

0:24:120:24:14

There's a green-eyed yellow idol to the north of Kathmandu.

0:24:160:24:19

-There's a little marble cross below the town.

-Excuse me.

0:24:190:24:22

-There's a broken...

-Excuse me.

0:24:220:24:24

Have you been there recently?

0:24:240:24:27

-Have I been where?

-Kathmandu.

0:24:270:24:29

Well, no, as a matter of fact, I haven't been there for some years.

0:24:290:24:32

No, it's painfully obvious, too. I was there only the other day.

0:24:320:24:35

All very interesting, but why are you telling me all this?

0:24:350:24:38

Well, I just wanted to put you right, geographically, that's all.

0:24:380:24:40

They've altered it all now, you know.

0:24:400:24:43

Ooh, yes, in the square, there's a new complex there,

0:24:430:24:46

there's a library and baths and all sorts of things.

0:24:460:24:51

They've moved the idol to the south of the town.

0:24:510:24:53

-To the south of the town?

-Yes.

0:24:530:24:55

And that little cross you're talking about, that's above.

0:24:570:25:00

-Above the town?

-Yes.

0:25:000:25:02

-Perhaps I'd better start again.

-But do.

-Thank you.

0:25:020:25:06

You're welcome.

0:25:060:25:08

Will you hold that for me, love? I brought it in with me.

0:25:090:25:12

The Green Eye of the Little Yellow God by Milton Hayes.

0:25:120:25:15

-Ahem.

-Ahem.

0:25:150:25:16

-There's a green-eyed yellow idol to the north...

-South!

0:25:170:25:20

South, south of Kathmandu.

0:25:200:25:23

-There's a little marble cross...

-Above!

-Above the town.

0:25:230:25:28

-There's a broken-hearted woman tends the grave of Mad Carew.

-Wait.

0:25:280:25:31

I don't want to be awkward. Did you know Fanny Shannon?

0:25:310:25:35

LAUGHTER

0:25:350:25:38

-Did I know who?

-Fanny Shannon. Colonel Shannon's eldest daughter.

0:25:390:25:43

No, I have not had the pleasure.

0:25:430:25:45

Ooh, I have.

0:25:450:25:47

Well, how would you have me describe her?

0:25:490:25:52

As a comparatively broken-hearted woman.

0:25:520:25:55

Comparatively broken-hearted woman, yes.

0:25:550:25:58

-Perhaps I'd better start again.

-But do.

0:25:580:26:00

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

0:26:000:26:02

Polite fella, isn't he? He keeps bowing like that.

0:26:020:26:05

Ahem.

0:26:050:26:07

There's a comparatively broken-hearted woman tends

0:26:070:26:10

the grave of Mad Carew.

0:26:100:26:12

-And the little god forever gazes down...

-Up!

-Up.

0:26:120:26:15

-He was known as Mad Carew.

-No, no, he wasn't

0:26:180:26:22

mad at all, no.

0:26:220:26:25

He was mentally deficient, yes.

0:26:250:26:27

You couldn't call him absolutely bonkers.

0:26:300:26:32

He was known as mentally deficient Carew.

0:26:340:26:37

By the subs at Kathmandu,

0:26:390:26:40

he was hotter than they felt inclined to tell.

0:26:400:26:43

Mm, too much curry powder.

0:26:430:26:45

You know about it the day after, don't you?

0:26:450:26:48

-But for all his foolish pranks...

-Foolish pranks?

0:26:480:26:52

You call writing rude words on walls foolish pranks?

0:26:520:26:55

-Well, I didn't know.

-Well, there, you see.

0:26:550:26:58

-But may I please continue?

-But... Altogether. But do.

0:26:580:27:03

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

0:27:030:27:05

But for all his foolish pranks, he was worshipped in the ranks.

0:27:050:27:09

-And the colonel's daughter smiled on him as well.

-I'm not having that.

0:27:090:27:12

My brother was going out with her at the time.

0:27:120:27:15

No, please, no! No, no, no!

0:27:150:27:18

No, please, please, I honestly... I take it back.

0:27:180:27:22

She was nearly 21.

0:27:240:27:26

21? She were 39 if she were a day.

0:27:260:27:28

And arrangements had begun to celebrate the birthday with a ball.

0:27:320:27:36

I don't remember that.

0:27:360:27:37

He wrote to ask what present she would like from mentally

0:27:390:27:42

deficient Carew.

0:27:420:27:44

-Then met next day as he dismissed a squad.

-Platoon.

0:27:440:27:48

-As he dismissed a squad.

-Platoon!

0:27:490:27:52

-A squad.

-A subaltern can command a platoon.

-A squad, a squad, a squad!

0:27:520:27:56

A platoon, a platoon, a platoon!

0:27:560:27:59

Sorry, love. Did I splash you then?

0:27:590:28:01

It's got to be a squad - it has to rhyme with yellow god.

0:28:020:28:06

I don't care what the hell it's got to rhyme with,

0:28:060:28:08

its Queen's regulations, it's a platoon.

0:28:080:28:10

Oh, shush.

0:28:100:28:11

May I please continue?

0:28:110:28:13

-Do.

-Thank you.

-You're very welcome.

0:28:130:28:14

Ugh!

0:28:140:28:16

-They met next day, as he dismissed a platoon...

-Yes.

0:28:160:28:19

..and jestingly she told him then that nothing else would do,

0:28:190:28:22

-but the green eye of the...

-Of the hairy great baboon!

0:28:220:28:25

..of the hairy great... Agh!

0:28:250:28:28

That's the way!

0:28:280:28:30

My landlady put summat up for me, actually.

0:28:310:28:33

I don't know where it... Oh, aye. Yes, this'll do, here...

0:28:330:28:36

In all my years at the theatre,

0:28:420:28:44

I've never known such a ridiculous...

0:28:440:28:47

-Sir!

-What?

0:28:500:28:52

-Do you realise that this is my profession?

-I beg your pardon?

0:28:520:28:55

This is my bread-and-butter.

0:28:550:28:57

No, it's not, it's my bread-and-butter,

0:28:570:28:58

-I've got it here!

-Ugh! For goodness' sake.

0:28:580:29:01

There's a broken-hearted idol to the west of Mad Carew,

0:29:010:29:04

There's a...

0:29:040:29:06

There's a cross-eyed yellow woman doing all a cat can do...

0:29:060:29:08

HE SINGS

0:29:080:29:10

Oh, this is...!

0:29:100:29:12

I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it!

0:29:120:29:15

No, you should be sitting up here where we are. Tell him!

0:29:150:29:18

What's going on behind that curtain?

0:29:190:29:21

Nothing is going on behind the curtain.

0:29:210:29:23

There's not much going on in front of it, either.

0:29:230:29:26

I'll give you a hand, it's no good.

0:29:260:29:27

-You can't do it all without the bloody...

-No, no, please, sir!

0:29:270:29:30

No, don't...!

0:29:300:29:31

We want to have a singsong, though, don't we?

0:29:310:29:33

-You want a singsong, don't you?

-I'm very sorry. Honestly...

0:29:330:29:36

We'll have a singsong, then. Come here.

0:29:360:29:39

I'll get me leg over.

0:29:390:29:40

Hey...

0:29:400:29:42

Wait, wait. Hey!

0:29:420:29:44

-Hey...

-Can we just go back?

-Right...

0:29:440:29:46

-Come down...

-Whoa!

0:29:460:29:47

It's a good job I didn't have me kilt on.

0:29:490:29:51

LAUGHTER

0:29:510:29:52

Here we are.

0:29:520:29:54

Now, then, I'll give you a singsong.

0:29:540:29:57

When I was a lad, we used to sing good old rousing songs -

0:30:000:30:03

you know 'em, don't you?

0:30:030:30:04

Come on, then, let's have a go.

0:30:040:30:08

ALL: # Goodbye Dolly I must leave you

0:30:080:30:12

# Though it breaks my heart to go

0:30:120:30:16

# Something tells me I am needed

0:30:160:30:19

# At the front to fight the foe

0:30:190:30:24

# See - the soldier boys are marching

0:30:240:30:28

# And I can no longer stay

0:30:280:30:32

# Hark - I hear the bugle calling

0:30:320:30:36

# Goodbye Dolly Gray. #

0:30:360:30:39

The Chelsea Pensioner was, of course, your own Mr John Inman.

0:30:540:30:58

And now we have a melodious minstrel in a metropolitan...

0:30:580:31:04

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

0:31:040:31:06

..that's from London - miscellany.

0:31:060:31:09

Miss Julie Royce!

0:31:090:31:13

APPLAUSE

0:31:130:31:15

# Last week down our alley came a toff

0:31:220:31:28

# Nice old geezer with a nasty cough

0:31:280:31:34

# Sees my missus, takes his topper off

0:31:360:31:42

# In a very gentlemanly way

0:31:420:31:46

# "Ma'am", says he "I have some news to tell

0:31:490:31:56

# "Your rich uncle Tom of Camberwell

0:31:560:32:03

# "Popp'd off recent which ain't a sell

0:32:040:32:10

# "Leaving you 'is little donkey shay."

0:32:100:32:15

# Oh

0:32:160:32:18

# "Wot-cher!" all the neighbours cried

0:32:200:32:25

# "Who yer gonna meet, Bill?

0:32:250:32:28

# "Have yer bought the street, Bill?"

0:32:280:32:31

# Laugh! I thought I should 'ave died

0:32:310:32:35

# Knock'd 'em in the Old Kent Road!

0:32:350:32:38

# Some says nasty things about the moke

0:32:400:32:44

# One cove thinks 'is leg is really broke

0:32:440:32:48

# That's his envy cos we're carriage folk

0:32:480:32:52

# Like the toffs as rides in Rotten Row!

0:32:520:32:54

# Aha!

0:32:540:32:56

# Straight! it woke the alley up a bit

0:32:560:33:00

# Thought our lodger would 'ave 'ad a fit

0:33:000:33:05

# When my missus who's a real wit

0:33:050:33:10

# Says "I 'ates a bus because it's low!"

0:33:100:33:13

# Oh...

0:33:130:33:16

# "Wot-cher!" all the neighbours cried

0:33:160:33:19

# "Who yer gonna meet, Bill?

0:33:190:33:22

# "Have yer bought the street, Bill?"

0:33:220:33:24

# Laugh! I thought I should 'ave died

0:33:240:33:28

# Knock'd 'em in the Old Kent...

0:33:280:33:31

# Knock'd 'em in the Old Kent...

0:33:310:33:33

# Knock'd 'em in the Old Kent Road!

0:33:330:33:35

# Dah-dah-lah-dah, bum, bum! #

0:33:350:33:38

Whoo!

0:33:380:33:39

APPLAUSE

0:33:390:33:41

# And...

0:33:430:33:45

# My old man...

0:33:450:33:47

-ALL:

-# ..said follow the van... #

-You know it!

0:33:470:33:49

# And don't dilly-dally on the way

0:33:490:33:54

# Well, off went the van with the home packed in it

0:33:540:33:59

# I followed on with me old cock linnet

0:33:590:34:04

# But I dillied and I dallied

0:34:040:34:07

# And I dallied and I dillied

0:34:070:34:09

# I lost the van and don't know where to roam

0:34:090:34:13

# But you can't trust these specials like the old time coppers

0:34:130:34:19

# When you can't find your way home. #

0:34:190:34:23

# Well...

0:34:230:34:26

# Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner

0:34:300:34:35

# That I love London town

0:34:350:34:39

# Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner

0:34:400:34:44

# That I think of her wherever I go

0:34:440:34:48

# I get a funny feeling inside of me

0:34:490:34:53

# When walking up and down

0:34:530:34:58

# Oh, maybe it's because I'm a Londoner

0:34:580:35:02

# That I love London Town. #

0:35:020:35:06

# Well... #

0:35:070:35:11

MILITARY DRUMS

0:35:110:35:15

# It's a long way to Tipperary

0:35:150:35:19

# It's a long way to go

0:35:190:35:22

# It's a long way to Tipperary

0:35:220:35:27

# To the sweetest guy that I know!

0:35:270:35:31

# Oh, goodbye, Piccadilly

0:35:310:35:36

# And farewell, Leicester Square!

0:35:360:35:39

# It's a long, long way to Tipperary

0:35:390:35:45

# But my heart's right there. #

0:35:450:35:48

# So...

0:35:490:35:51

# You...

0:35:510:35:54

# Can...

0:35:540:35:56

# Pack up all of my cares and woe

0:35:560:36:01

# Here I go

0:36:020:36:05

# And I'm singing kinda low

0:36:050:36:07

# Bye-bye

0:36:070:36:09

# Bye-bye, you little blackbird... #

0:36:100:36:14

AUDIENCE MEMBER MIMICS BLACKBIRD

0:36:140:36:16

Was that you?

0:36:160:36:18

# Where somebody's waiting for me

0:36:180:36:23

# Sugar's sweet

0:36:230:36:25

# But not half as sweet as he

0:36:250:36:27

# Bye-bye, you little blackbird

0:36:270:36:34

# No-one can love or understand me

0:36:360:36:44

# You wanna hear those hard luck stories

0:36:450:36:51

# That they try to hand poor little me

0:36:510:36:55

# So, you better make my bed

0:36:550:36:58

# And light the light

0:36:580:37:00

# Cos I'll be home

0:37:000:37:03

# A little late tonight

0:37:030:37:05

# Blackbird, bye-bye... #

0:37:050:37:12

Yeah! Here we go!

0:37:120:37:14

# No-one can love or understand me

0:37:160:37:20

# You wanna hear those hard luck stories

0:37:200:37:23

# They try to hand poor little me

0:37:230:37:25

# So, make my bed and light the light

0:37:250:37:28

# Cos I'll be home a little late tonight

0:37:280:37:31

# Blackbird...

0:37:310:37:35

# Bye-bye. #

0:37:350:37:43

High altitudinous intrepidity...

0:38:060:38:09

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

0:38:090:38:11

..perilous on the palpitant perimeter of impossibility.

0:38:110:38:17

From Norway, the Duo Barodies!

0:38:170:38:21

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:000:43:02

A much-requested tribute to Mr Bobby Howes

0:43:170:43:22

from the ubiquitous Players Theatre and the unquenchable Mr John Inman!

0:43:220:43:30

# Even when the darkest clouds are in the sky

0:43:420:43:45

# You mustn't sigh and you mustn't cry

0:43:450:43:49

# Spread a little happiness as you go by

0:43:490:43:54

# Please try

0:43:540:43:57

# What's the use of worrying and feeling blue

0:43:570:44:01

# When things go wrong, keep on smiling through

0:44:010:44:04

# And spread a little happiness till dreams come true

0:44:040:44:11

# Surely you'll be wise to make the best of every blues day

0:44:110:44:19

# Don't you realise it may be Monday or next Tuesday

0:44:190:44:25

# Your golden shoes day

0:44:250:44:31

# Even when the darkest clouds are in the sky

0:44:310:44:35

# You mustn't sigh and you mustn't cry

0:44:350:44:38

# Spread a little happiness as you go by. #

0:44:380:44:44

APPLAUSE

0:44:560:44:58

# Got a date with an angel

0:44:580:45:01

# Going to meet her at seven

0:45:010:45:05

# Got a date with an angel

0:45:050:45:08

# And I'm on my way to heaven

0:45:080:45:13

# It'll be sweet when I meet her

0:45:130:45:16

# I'll be sweet when I greet her

0:45:160:45:20

# Feel as proud as St Peter

0:45:200:45:23

# Cos I'm on my way to heaven

0:45:230:45:27

# Soon I'll hear the bells ring out

0:45:280:45:32

# And the choir will sing out

0:45:320:45:35

# And the pearly gates swing out

0:45:350:45:39

# She'll beckon to me

0:45:390:45:43

# I've been waiting a lifetime

0:45:430:45:48

# For this evening at seven

0:45:480:45:51

# Got a date with an angel

0:45:510:45:54

# And I'm on my way to heaven. #

0:45:540:45:57

# Life is just a bowl of cherries

0:46:020:46:05

# Don't be so serious

0:46:050:46:07

# Life's too mysterious

0:46:070:46:09

# You work, you slave, you worry so

0:46:090:46:13

# But you can't take your dough when you go, go, go

0:46:130:46:17

# Keep repeating it's the berries

0:46:170:46:21

# The strongest oak must fall

0:46:210:46:25

# The sweet things in life to you are just loaned

0:46:250:46:29

# So how can you lose what you've never owned?

0:46:290:46:33

# Life is just a bowl of cherries

0:46:330:46:37

# So live and laugh at it all

0:46:370:46:41

# Life is just a bowl of cherries

0:46:410:46:45

# Don't be so serious

0:46:450:46:47

# Life's too mysterious

0:46:470:46:48

# You work, you slave, you worry so

0:46:480:46:52

# But you can't take your dough when you go, go, go

0:46:520:46:57

# So, keep repeating it's the berries

0:46:570:47:00

# The strongest oak must fall

0:47:000:47:04

# The sweet things in life to you are just loaned

0:47:040:47:08

# So how can you lose what you've never owned?

0:47:080:47:12

# Life is just a bowl of cherries

0:47:120:47:16

# So live and laugh at it all. #

0:47:160:47:20

# Even when the darkest clouds are in the sky

0:47:210:47:24

# You mustn't sigh and you mustn't cry

0:47:240:47:28

# So spread a little happiness

0:47:280:47:31

# As you go by. #

0:47:310:47:39

There's only just time to ask Mr John Inman to lead the company

0:47:570:48:00

and yourselves in the last chorus for tonight,

0:48:000:48:03

Down At The Old Bull And Bush.

0:48:030:48:05

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr John Inman, the entire company,

0:48:050:48:07

Mr Bernard Herrmann, the entire and indefatigable orchestra...

0:48:070:48:11

AUDIENCE CHEERS

0:48:110:48:14

-..and this time, chiefly... ALL:

-..yourself.

0:48:140:48:19

ALL: # Come, come, come and make eyes at me

0:48:210:48:25

# Down at the old Bull And Bush

0:48:250:48:27

# Da, da, da, da, da

0:48:270:48:29

# Come, come drink some port wine with me

0:48:290:48:33

# Down at the old Bull And Bush

0:48:330:48:36

# Hear the little German band

0:48:360:48:38

# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da

0:48:380:48:40

# Just let me hold your hand, dear

0:48:400:48:43

# Do, do come and have a drink or two

0:48:430:48:47

# Down at the old Bull And Bush. #

0:48:470:48:52

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:48:520:48:55

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