05/04/1979 The Good Old Days


05/04/1979

Leonard Sachs chairs the old-time music hall programme. Featuring Roy Hudd, Jenny Till, Pat Mooney, Peter Gale, Terri Rogers, Chaz Chase, Gerard Edon and Barbara Windsor.


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Transcript


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# Let's all go to the music hall

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# Where the show is gay and bright

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# Let's all go to the music hall

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# Where the stars are twinkling half the night

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# Whether you're in the gallery the circle or the pit

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# Or whether you sit in the red plush stalls

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# When the busy day is done

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# And you want to have some fun

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# Let's all go to the music hall.

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# Put on your tat-ta little girlie

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# Do do what I want you to

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# Far from the busy hurly-burly

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# I've got lots to say to you

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# My head's completely twirly-whirly

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# My girl I want you to be

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# So put on your tat-ta Your pretty little tat-ta

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# And come out a tat-ta with me.

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# On Mother Kelly's doorstep

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# Down Paradise Row

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# I'd sit along Nelly,

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# She'd sit along Joe

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# She's got a little hole in her frock, hole in her shoe

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# Hole in her sock where the toe peeks through

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# But Nelly was the smartest down our alley

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# On Mother Kelly's doorstep

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# I'm wondering now

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# If little gal Nelly

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# Remembers Joe, her beau

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# And does she love me

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# Like she used to

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# On Mother Kelly's doorstep

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# Down Paradise Row.

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# Wait till the sun shines Nellie

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# When the clouds go drifting by

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# We will be happy Nellie

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# Don't you sigh

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# Down Lover's Lane we'll wander

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# Sweethearts you and I

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# Wait till the sun shines Nellie

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# By and by

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# Wait till the sun shines Nellie

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# When the clouds go drifting by

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# We will be happy Nellie

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# Don't you sigh

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# Down Lover's Lane we'll wander

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# Sweethearts you and I

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# Wait till the sun shines Nellie

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# By and by. #

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FANFARE PLAYS

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Once again...

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good evening, ladies and gentlemen!

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CHEERING

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Promulgating preliminarily...

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versatile ventrilingual virtuosity.

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Welcome, to Miss Terri Rogers!

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CHEERING

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Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

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This evening is a very, very special occasion for me

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because I've always wanted to appear on this show.

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In fact, it was my childhood ambition.

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Gives you some idea how long the show's been going, doesn't it?

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Hello. I see he's here again.

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I beg your pardon?

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-He's here again, isn't he?

-Who?

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That bloke repairing the organ over there.

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LAUGHTER

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I beg your pardon?

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He's been hammering away at that damn thing for 26 years.

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He hasn't got the...

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got the thing working yet.

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I don't think he can get the lid off, you know.

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If you're referring to Mr Leonard Sachs, he does...not play the organ.

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-No?

-No. Or repair it.

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He's, in point of fact, our master of ceremonies.

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And the object to which you allude is not an organ, but the podium.

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-Is it?

-Yes.

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And he was banging his gavel.

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Now, just look at this lovely audience.

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Isn't it wonderful to see so many of our brave soldiers and sailors

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back safely with us again?

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Yeah, yeah, it's lovely, that.

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My dad fought with the army, you know?

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-Did he?

-Yeah.

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But he still had to join. It's a shame really.

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Well, I'm sorry to interrupt this - you may not be aware of this,

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but we are supposed to be performing a ventriloquial act.

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Is that legal?

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Don't you know what ventriloquism is?

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-It's not anything to do with repairing organs, is it?

-No.

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Ventriloquism is a matter of controlling the respiratory

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osculations of the abdominal muscular reflexes,

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together with the measured reverberations

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emanating from the solar plexus.

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-AUDIENCE MEMBER SHOUTS

-That's not...

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And who the hell's working you?

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That's not an act - that's a disease, isn't it?

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-Did you hear what I said?

-Yeah.

-Repeat it.

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That's not an act.

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No, the long words.

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-Long words?

-Mmm.

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-Every word?

-Every word.

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-Every if, and or but?

-Every if, and or but.

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If you strangle yourself, don't blame me, will you?

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Ventril...

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Ventriloclism...

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Why the hell couldn't we take up juggling or something like that?

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Ventriloquism.

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Ventriloquism is a matter of controlling the respiratory

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osculations of the abdominal muscular reflexes,

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together with the measured reverberations

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emanating from the solar plexus.

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And in formulgating your esoteric cogitations,

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articulating your superficious sentimentalities,

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I'd say that you were talking about moving your cake hole.

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I would like to finish, ladies and gentlemen,

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with a monologue dedicated to this wonderful show.

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PIANO PLAYS INTRODUCTION

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There are dozens and dozens of theatres

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but none of them really compare.

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They don't have these masses of lads with their lasses,

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or the wonderful costumes they wear.

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But the thing that really excites me

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are the artists who've been here before.

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There's Coster Gus Elan and dear Albert Whelan

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and George Robey has took an encore.

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It's hard to avoid the great Marie Lloyd

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and I haven't forgot Little Tich.

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That's why I brought Shorty.

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I know he's been naughty...

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Say goodnight, you silly old bitch.

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Drolly diminutive in stature...

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..gargantuan in gourmandise.

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Eating.

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From America,

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the extraordinary Mr Chaz Chase!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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BAND PLAYS JAZZ

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MOUTH ORGAN PLAYS

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Indisputably demure...

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yet undeniably desirous

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of your participatory reciprocity.

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Your auxiliary co-operation.

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Miss Jenny Till!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# You wonder what I'm looking for

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# I know you do, now, don't you?

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-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

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# So if I tell you will you help me?

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# Oh, say you will please, won't you?

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-AUDIENCE:

-Yes!

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# To start with then I may just mention

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# That my age is 23

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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# And I'm tired of living single

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# I would like to married be

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# But...

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# I want to meet a good young man

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# A proper young man A model young man

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# I want to meet a good young man

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# Who never goes on the spree

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# I don't care if he's six foot high

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# With old school tie Or rather shy

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# So long as he's a good young man

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# Why then he'll do for me

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# I'm told good men are getting scarce

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# Oh, tell me is that true

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-AUDIENCE:

-No!

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# That every year they're getting worse

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# Is that true? Tell me, do.

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-AUDIENCE:

-No!

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# I do not seek a handsome man

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# For looks I do not care a sous

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# And neither do I wish for money

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# I've got quite enough for two

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CHEERING

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# But...

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# I want to meet a good young man

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# A proper young man A model young man

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# I want to meet a good young man

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# Who never goes on the spree

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# I don't care if he's six foot high

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# With old school tie Or rather shy

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# So long as he's a good young man

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# Why then he'll do for me

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-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

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# I would not have a fast man

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# For he'd stay out late now, wouldn't he?

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# A husband should be home by ten

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# He really should now, shouldn't he?

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-Audience:

-No!

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# To find the sort of man I want

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# I've searched all over Far and near

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# Who can tell me where to find one?

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# Is there not a good man here?

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-Audience:

-Yes!

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# I want to meet a good young man

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# A proper young man A model young man

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# I want to meet a good young man

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# Who never goes on the spree

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# I don't care if he's six foot high

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# With old school tie Or roving eye

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# So long as he's a good young man

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# Why then he'll do for me

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# I know he'll do for me. #

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Oh, I'm sure he'll do!

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Exuberantly...

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..ebullient Hibernian buoyancies

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from that broth of a boyo,

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Mr Pat Mooney!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Ah, God love yous.

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Well, I'm here at last.

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LAUGHTER

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Yous are looking gorgeous, you know that?

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My wife, what a sense of humour she's got.

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I said to her this morning,

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"What would you like for your birthday, love?" Know what she said?

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A widow's pension.

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I got home last Sunday morning -

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Sunday night I was out with the boys, I had a few pints,

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and I got home late for my lunch - I said to her,

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"Is me lunch still warm?"

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She says, "It should be.

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"It's been in the back of the fire for the last two hours."

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Murphy and Casey came over here to England and started their

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own building contractors - called themselves, "Murphy and Casey".

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And they were doing no business at all. And Murphy said to Casey,

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"I think we'll change our name to an English name.

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"We'll call ourselves Lambert and Lambert."

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So they're in the office one day and the phone rang,

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and one of them lifted the phone. And the voice said,

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"Can I speak to Mr Lambert, please?"

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And Murphy says, "Which one do you want - Murphy or Casey?"

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This Irish fellow - cos I'm from Ireland...

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You'd never have known, would you?

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He bought this small holding and he went to a poultry farmer,

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and he says, "Sir, I just bought a small holding.

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"Could I have 1,000 day-old chicks?"

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The poultry farmer says, "Of course you can, sir."

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And he sells him the 1,000 day-old chicks. And he's back the next day.

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He says, "Could I have another 1,000 day-old chicks, please, sir?"

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The fellow says, "Of course you can - it's great business for me, this."

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And he's back the next day.

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He says, "Could I have another 1,000 day-old chicks?"

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The poultry farmer says, "Excuse me, sir, you did say you only have a small holding?"

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"Oh," he says, "so I have, sir.

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"Do you think I'm planting them too close together?"

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Two lads were on a bus the other day,

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And they're sitting on the bus and the conductor says,

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"Patrick Street, James Street, Riley Street, Owen Street, Julia Street,

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"Catherine Street, Claire Street, Kevin Street."

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One of the boys says, "Don't you think it's about time we were getting off?"

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The other fellow says, "Sit down and wait till your name's called."

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Murphy brought his dog into the park

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and it was all frozen over with the bad weather,

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it was frozen solid on the lake.

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And he turns round to the park ranger, and he says,

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"If I put a pair of ice skates on my dog, will it be all right for him to skate on your lake?"

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And the park ranger says, "Well, it depends of it's thick enough."

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"Oh," he says, "it's thick enough - it's an Irish Wolfhound."

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I was telling a gag back here - I must tell you this...

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This Irish fellow applied for a job as a butler-cum-handy-man

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on a stately home in England.

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And he's doing everything - looking after the horses and the dogs and everything else -

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and the lord of the manor was going away for the weekend to the Badminton Horse Trials, and he says,

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"Paddy, I'm going to leave you in charge of the stately home,

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"and give me a full report when I come back."

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And he comes back in a few days and Paddy meets him at the gate.

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He says, "Is everything all right?"

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"Well, sir, I've got a bit of bad news for you, sir - Rover's dead."

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He says, "Rover? Rover was as fit as a fiddle when I left."

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"Oh," he says, "don't blame the poor dog, sir.

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"Dobbin the horse kicked him to death, sir, in the stable."

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He says, "Dobbin is the most peaceful animal in the stable. What made him do that?"

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"Oh," he says, "sir, don't blame poor Dobbin.

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"It was the panic when the barn went on fire.

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"All the sparks and the flames made him start panicking,

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"and he kicked out at poor Rover."

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He says, "The sparks and the flames? What happened in the barn?"

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He says, "Well, sir, it was when the barn went alight -

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"it was the sparks coming over from the main house landed on the roof of the barn."

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He says,

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"What flames in the main house?"

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He says, "Well, see, it was that stupid chamber maid upstairs, sir.

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"She was dusting round your mother's coffin and knocked one of the candlesticks over."

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He says...

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.."What's happened to me poor mother?!"

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"Oh, says he, "it was the shock of your father dropping dead outside the stables."

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He said, "Have you any GOOD news for me?"

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He says, "Yes, sir - your daffodils are out."

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Oh, it's a great joy for me, there.

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I had a letter from Ireland today as well from me mother.

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It's nice getting letters from Ireland -

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nobody ever opens them for you.

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Terrible speller, me mother!

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She says, "Dear Pat..."

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Look how she spells "dear" -

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"D-E-A-R".

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"Your grandda' is 92.

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"The first thing he does in the morning is read the newspapers in bed.

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"He looks at the deaths, and if his name isn't in it he gets up.

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"He said to me this morning, isn't it funny how all these people die

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"in alphabetical order?

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"Your uncle Bert has had a suspended sentence.

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"They've hung him.

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"Your...

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"Your uncle Barney went into a temporary hospital today

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to be sterilised,

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and they boiled them for three and a half hours.

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"We've just moved into a new cottage and it's got no chimney.

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"We have to carry the smoke out in buckets."

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Ah, you're beautiful!

0:22:590:23:01

You really are lovely. I'd love coming back to see yous

0:23:020:23:04

all the time. It's a joy.

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Enjoy yourselves, have a lovely evening.

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And I'd like to leave you with a thought - I always leave everybody with a thought when I go -

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I'd like to leave you with a thought...

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It's nice to go home with a thought you didn't have when you came, isn't it? It's true.

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Be very grateful for certain things.

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If it wasn't for Venetian blinds,

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it'd be curtains for the whole world, wouldn't it?

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Goodnight, God bless you all! I love you!

0:23:220:23:24

Dizzily devastating deliberate defiance...

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..of danger, for your delight.

0:23:450:23:48

From France, Monsieur Gerard Edon!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:23:520:23:54

BAND PLAYS

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DRUM ROLL

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Eyes down, once again.

0:29:380:29:41

Convoking choric nomenclature...

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N-O-M-E-N-C-L-A-T-U-R-E.

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Incontestably curvaceous,

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your own, your very, very own,

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Miss Barbara Windsor!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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# I ought to think myself a lucky girl, I know

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# Cos I'm engaged but still somehow I don't think so

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# John, that's the name of my fiance, you see

0:30:170:30:21

# Now there's no mistake he's very fond of me

0:30:210:30:25

# He took me out and oh, my dears it was so nice

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# He always used to kiss me on the same place twice

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# Often in the park We would sit and swoon

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# And I was oh so happy till the other afternoon

0:30:370:30:43

# John took me round to see his mother

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# His mother, his mother

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# And while he introduced us to each other

0:30:520:30:56

# She weighed up everything that I had on

0:30:560:30:59

# Now she put me through a cross examination

0:30:590:31:04

# I fairly boiled with aggravation

0:31:040:31:08

# Then she shook her head And she looked at me and said

0:31:080:31:12

# Poor John, poor John.

0:31:120:31:15

# Josh-u-ah, Josh-u-ah

0:31:180:31:22

# Why don't you call and see Mama?

0:31:220:31:25

# She'll be pleased to know

0:31:250:31:29

# That you're my best beau

0:31:290:31:33

# Josh-u-ah, Josh-u-ah

0:31:330:31:37

# Nicer than lemon squash you are

0:31:370:31:41

# Oh, by gosh you are

0:31:410:31:44

# Josh-u-osh-u-ah.

0:31:440:31:47

Let me hear you!

0:31:470:31:48

# Josh-u-ah, Josh-u-ah

0:31:480:31:52

# Why don't you call and see Mama?

0:31:520:31:55

# She'll be pleased to know

0:31:550:31:58

# That you're my best beau

0:31:580:32:03

# Josh-u-ah, Josh-u-ah

0:32:030:32:07

# Nicer than lemon squash you are

0:32:070:32:10

# Oh, by gosh you are

0:32:100:32:14

# Josh-u-osh-u-ah

0:32:140:32:17

# Oh, by gosh you are

0:32:170:32:21

# Josh-u-osh-u-ah.

0:32:210:32:24

# Are we to part like this, Bill?

0:32:280:32:33

# Are we to part this way?

0:32:350:32:39

# Who's it to be?

0:32:420:32:43

# Her or me?

0:32:460:32:47

# Don't be afraid to say

0:32:490:32:52

# If everything's over between us

0:32:550:33:02

# Don't, don't ever pass me by

0:33:030:33:06

# For you and me

0:33:090:33:11

# Still friends can be

0:33:130:33:15

# For the sake of the days gone by

0:33:150:33:23

# For you and me

0:33:250:33:27

# Still friends can be

0:33:270:33:33

# For the sake of the days gone by

0:33:330:33:41

# Oh, I'm just wild about Harry

0:33:440:33:48

# And Harry's wild about me

0:33:480:33:51

# Now those heavenly blisses Of his kisses

0:33:510:33:55

# Fills me with ecstasy

0:33:550:33:58

# Now he's sweet just like chocolate candy

0:33:580:34:02

# Like the honey from the bee

0:34:020:34:05

# Oh, I'm just wild about Harry

0:34:050:34:09

# And he's just wild about

0:34:090:34:11

# Cannot do without

0:34:110:34:13

# He's just wild about me.

0:34:130:34:15

All together now!

0:34:150:34:17

# I'm just wild about Harry

0:34:170:34:21

# And Harry's wild about me

0:34:210:34:25

# Now those heavenly blisses Of his kisses

0:34:250:34:30

# Fill me with ecstasy

0:34:300:34:33

# Now he's sweet just like chocolate candy

0:34:330:34:38

# And like the honey from the bee

0:34:380:34:42

# Oh I'm just wild about Harry

0:34:420:34:46

# And he is wild about

0:34:460:34:49

# Cannot do without

0:34:490:34:51

# He's just wild about me

0:34:510:34:53

# Oh, oh, oh

0:34:530:34:55

# I'm just wild about Harry

0:34:550:34:58

# And he's just wild about

0:34:580:35:01

# Cannot do without

0:35:010:35:03

# He's...just...

0:35:030:35:05

# Wild about me. #

0:35:050:35:13

Almost edible, isn't she?

0:35:310:35:33

Flippantly filibustering

0:35:340:35:37

felicitous facetiae...

0:35:370:35:40

Latin.

0:35:410:35:42

The one and only

0:35:420:35:44

Mr Roy Hudd!

0:35:440:35:47

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:35:470:35:50

Thank you! Thank you!

0:35:500:35:53

Good evening. Evening.

0:35:530:35:55

-AUDIENCE:

-Evening!

0:35:550:35:56

Oh, lovely! First of all I must say how wonderful it is, folks, to be back here in Leeds again -

0:35:560:36:01

the Miami of Yorkshire.

0:36:010:36:02

CHEERING

0:36:020:36:04

No, it's so nice to be playing a proper theatre for a change.

0:36:040:36:07

Being able to stand up here, look out there,

0:36:070:36:09

and actually be able to see all your happy, smiling faces.

0:36:090:36:12

They are you faces, aren't they?

0:36:150:36:17

You are sitting the right way up?

0:36:170:36:19

Right, I'd better come out and sort out exactly what we're

0:36:190:36:22

up against tonight. Right, come down and have a proper look at you.

0:36:220:36:24

-Mr Sachs!

-Mr Hudd.

0:36:240:36:26

-Good evening, Mr Sachs.

-Good evening to you.

0:36:260:36:28

-My wife's your number one fan, you know that?

-Oh, that's nice.

0:36:280:36:30

-She's mad about you.

-That's charming.

0:36:300:36:32

She's a Sachs-maniac.

0:36:320:36:33

Right, let's have a look what we've got.

0:36:360:36:37

Oh, there's a lady with a lovely smile on her face.

0:36:370:36:40

What are you sitting on, love?

0:36:400:36:41

Oh, really?

0:36:420:36:44

Tell the usherette we've found her torch, will you?

0:36:440:36:47

Nice to see the military in, sir, eh?

0:36:480:36:50

Yes.

0:36:500:36:51

Nice to know Ladysmith's been relieved, isn't it?

0:36:510:36:54

Those new tablets work wonders.

0:36:540:36:55

Who else have we got?

0:36:580:36:59

By golly, there's an expensive-looking complexion. Look at that!

0:36:590:37:03

Stick a wick in his mouth, he'd burn for a fortnight.

0:37:030:37:05

Nice to see you, sir.

0:37:050:37:06

Good evening, my dear.

0:37:060:37:07

Where are you from, love?

0:37:070:37:09

Whereabouts?

0:37:100:37:11

You're not from Altringham, are you?

0:37:120:37:13

Blimey, my brother's working there tonight.

0:37:130:37:16

He's a burglar.

0:37:160:37:17

# Now one night after closing time the landlord of The Star

0:37:200:37:23

# Presented me with a nine-penny cigar

0:37:230:37:27

# I smoked it until Easter like one of the la-di-da

0:37:270:37:30

# Now everybody knows me by the end of me old cigar

0:37:300:37:33

# Oh the end of me old cigar

0:37:330:37:35

# Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra

0:37:350:37:37

# Everybody knows me by the end of me old cigar

0:37:370:37:40

# Oh the end of me old cigar

0:37:400:37:42

# Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra

0:37:420:37:44

# Everybody knows me by the end of me old cigar. #

0:37:440:37:47

It's a nice one, isn't it, love?

0:37:470:37:49

I'll save that one till later though, eh?

0:37:490:37:51

No, cos smoking's very dangerous, you know.

0:37:510:37:53

Smoking killed my grandad. Yeah.

0:37:530:37:55

He fell off a tobacconist's roof.

0:37:550:37:57

# Now one morning after breakfast into my surgery

0:38:010:38:04

# Came a girl with a vaccination plea

0:38:040:38:07

# Oh, vaccinate me, doctor But please don't leave a scar

0:38:070:38:11

# So I vaccinated Gertie with...

0:38:110:38:14

# Oh the end of me old cigar

0:38:140:38:16

# Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra

0:38:160:38:17

# Everybody knows me by the end of me old cigar

0:38:170:38:21

# Oh the end of me old cigar

0:38:210:38:22

# Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra

0:38:220:38:24

# Everybody knows me by the end of me old cigar. #

0:38:240:38:28

Oh. That's it, is it?

0:38:280:38:29

It's finished.

0:38:290:38:30

A short monologue, as spoken from the mouth.

0:38:300:38:33

CLEARS THROAT

0:38:330:38:34

Some girls are all right

0:38:360:38:38

in a bath marble white,

0:38:380:38:40

doused in perfume that's exotic.

0:38:400:38:42

But the queen of my soul

0:38:440:38:45

stands up in a bowl and does what she can with carbolic.

0:38:450:38:48

William Wordsworth.

0:38:520:38:53

You haven't met my missus, have you? God blimey, what a woman.

0:38:540:38:57

I'm not kidding you.

0:38:570:38:58

I haven't spoken to her for five years, you know.

0:38:580:39:00

Well, I don't like to interrupt her.

0:39:000:39:03

But they do go on. Don't they, fellas, eh?

0:39:030:39:05

Don't they go on?

0:39:050:39:06

AUDIENCE MURMUR

0:39:060:39:07

Oh, yes, they do!

0:39:070:39:09

-WOMEN:

-Oh, no, they don't!

0:39:090:39:11

-MEN:

-Oh, yes, they do!

0:39:110:39:13

-WOMEN:

-Oh, no, they don't!

0:39:130:39:15

All right, behave yourselves.

0:39:150:39:17

It's not the House of Commons, you know. Now, watch it.

0:39:170:39:20

My missus, I'm not kidding you, she drives me mad.

0:39:200:39:22

She never stops. Always on at me, always the same old thing, you know?

0:39:220:39:25

"You men are all alike."

0:39:250:39:27

Yes!

0:39:270:39:28

I don't mind her saying it - it's how she found out that worries me!

0:39:280:39:32

I can't trust her as far as I can throw her. You know that, lady?

0:39:340:39:37

"Listen," I said, "I've just found out our milkman has made love

0:39:370:39:42

"to every housewife in this street except one."

0:39:420:39:45

She said, "I bet it's that stuck up cow at number 12."

0:39:450:39:49

Old ones, new ones, loved ones, neglected ones.

0:39:490:39:54

# One afternoon 'bout tea-time

0:39:560:39:58

# At a garden party grand

0:39:580:39:59

# The wife and me were a-shaking every hand

0:39:590:40:03

# She was carrying on and going rather far

0:40:030:40:06

# But I was doing a trade of me own with the end of...

0:40:060:40:09

# Oh, the end of me old cigar

0:40:090:40:11

# Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra

0:40:110:40:13

# Everybody knows me by the end of me old cigar

0:40:130:40:16

# Oh the end of me old cigar

0:40:160:40:18

# Ta-ra, ta-ra, ta-ra

0:40:180:40:19

# Everybody knows me by the end of me old cigar. #

0:40:190:40:23

With Jerome Kern,

0:40:410:40:43

youth at the helm and beauty at the prow...

0:40:430:40:46

..The Players Theatre, plus -

0:40:480:40:50

and it's a specially super plus -

0:40:500:40:53

Mr Peter Gale!

0:40:530:40:55

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:40:550:40:58

# I won't dance, don't ask me

0:41:150:41:17

# I won't dance, don't ask me

0:41:170:41:19

# I won't dance, madam, with you

0:41:190:41:23

# My heart won't let my feet do things they should do

0:41:230:41:26

# You know what? You're lovely

0:41:280:41:31

-GIRLS:

-# And so what? I'm lovely

0:41:310:41:33

# But oh what you do to me

0:41:330:41:36

# I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore

0:41:360:41:41

# I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor

0:41:410:41:46

# When you dance you're charming and you're gentle

0:41:470:41:51

# 'Specially when you do the Continental

0:41:510:41:53

# But the feeling isn't purely mental

0:41:560:42:00

# For heaven rest us I'm not asbestos

0:42:000:42:04

# So that's why

0:42:040:42:05

# I won't dance, how could I?

0:42:050:42:08

# I won't dance, why should I?

0:42:080:42:10

# I won't dance, merci beaucoup

0:42:100:42:14

# They say that music leads the way to romance

0:42:140:42:18

# So if I hold you in my arms I won't dance.

0:42:180:42:23

# She didn't say yes

0:42:590:43:03

# She didn't say no

0:43:040:43:06

# She didn't say stay

0:43:070:43:09

# She didn't say go

0:43:110:43:13

# She only knew that he spied her there

0:43:130:43:18

# And then she knew he sat beside her there

0:43:180:43:20

# At first there was heard not one little word

0:43:200:43:24

# Then coyly she took one sly little look

0:43:240:43:27

# And something awoke and smiled inside

0:43:270:43:31

# Her heart began a-beating wild inside

0:43:310:43:34

# Then what did she do? I leave it to you

0:43:340:43:35

# She did just what you'd do too

0:43:370:43:40

# She didn't say yes She didn't say no

0:43:400:43:43

# She wanted to stay But knew she should go

0:43:430:43:47

# She wasn't too sure that he'd be good

0:43:470:43:50

# She wasn't even sure that she'd be good

0:43:500:43:53

# She wanted to rest and cuddled and pressed

0:43:530:43:56

# A palpable part of somebody's heart

0:43:560:44:00

# She longed to be on rapport with him

0:44:000:44:02

# But not behind a bolted door with him

0:44:030:44:06

# So what did she do? I leave it to you

0:44:060:44:08

# She did just what you'd do too

0:44:100:44:13

# Nothing's impossible I have found

0:44:150:44:17

# For when my chin is on the ground

0:44:170:44:20

# I pick myself up, dust myself off

0:44:200:44:22

# Start all over again

0:44:220:44:25

# Don't lose your confidence if you slip

0:44:250:44:27

# Be grateful for a pleasant trip

0:44:270:44:29

# And pick yourself up, dust yourself off

0:44:290:44:32

# Start all over again

0:44:320:44:34

# Work like a soul inspired

0:44:340:44:36

# Till the battle of the day is won

0:44:360:44:38

# You may feel sick and tired

0:44:390:44:41

# But you'll be a man my son

0:44:410:44:44

# Won't you remember the famous men

0:44:440:44:46

# Who had to fall to rise again

0:44:460:44:48

# And take a deep breath

0:44:480:44:50

# Pick yourself up

0:44:510:44:52

# Dust yourself off

0:44:540:44:55

# And start all over again Two, three, four, one

0:44:560:44:59

# Will you remember the famous men

0:45:360:45:40

# Who had to fall to rise again

0:45:400:45:45

# So pick yourself up

0:45:450:45:46

# Pick yourself up

0:45:480:45:49

# Pick yourself up

0:45:500:45:51

# Pick yourself up

0:45:520:45:53

# And start all over again

0:45:550:46:01

# Again

0:46:010:46:03

# Again! #

0:46:030:46:08

And now there's just time to ask Mr Roy Hudd and Miss Barbara Windsor

0:46:210:46:26

to lead the company and yourselves in the last chorus for tonight,

0:46:260:46:29

Down At The Old Bull And Bush.

0:46:290:46:31

Ladies and gentlemen,

0:46:310:46:32

Mr Roy Hudd, Miss Barbara Windsor, the entire company,

0:46:320:46:35

Mr Bernard Herman, the entire and indefatigable orchestra...

0:46:350:46:39

CHEERING

0:46:390:46:41

..but this time, chiefly...

0:46:410:46:43

-ALL:

-Yourselves!

0:46:430:46:45

# Come, come, come and make eyes at me

0:46:490:46:53

# Down at The Old Bull And Bush

0:46:530:46:55

# Da-da-da-da-da

0:46:550:46:56

# Come, come, drink some port wine with me

0:46:560:47:00

# Down at The Old Bull And Bush

0:47:000:47:02

# Hear the little German band

0:47:030:47:05

# Da-da-da-da-da-da-da

0:47:050:47:07

# Just let me hold your hand dear

0:47:070:47:10

# Do, do, come and have a drink or two

0:47:100:47:14

# Down at The Old Bull And Bush

0:47:140:47:17

# Bush, bush! #

0:47:170:47:18

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:47:180:47:22

Leonard Sachs chairs the old-time music hall programme, first broadcast on 5 April 1979. Featuring Roy Hudd, Jenny Till, Pat Mooney, Peter Gale, Terri Rogers, Chaz Chase, Gerard Edon and members of the Players' Theatre. Also featuring guest artist Barbara Windsor.


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