Episode 15 The Graham Norton Show

This programme contains adult humour. Tonight on the show, Daniel

Radcliffe is here to talk about his new scary film. Huh, I don't find

movies scary at all. Aagh!, let's Oh! Oh! Hello. Hello, everyone. Oh,

you're very welcome. Hello, one and all. We've got a great show for you

tonight. Britain's most successful actor, Daniel Radcliffe is here.

Yes, he is. Comedian, actor and belly-dancer,, Omid Djalili is on

the show. Oscar-winning actor, Cuba Gooding Jr is here. And, as if that

wasn't enough, we've got music from the very lovely Sinead O'Connor,

ladies and gentlemen. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Yes. Now, Daniel is here to tell us about his scary ghost film. It's a

ghost story, The Woman in Black. Yes. I know. The film is a classic

of the genre. You know, an abandoned house. An angry ghost

trying to drive him away. It's based on an original story. Spoiler

alert! The Woman in Black turns out to be the janitor in a rubber mask.

I might have got away for it too if it hadn't been for you pesky, Harry

Potter. People do love going to the sin mab to be terrified, don't

they? One good way of scaring yourself. Fill up a bag with a pick

n pick and see how much it costs! I tell you, the music score, the

music score in The Woman in Black is fantastic. Very spooky. Very

spooky. Music can be evocative in films. When when I see this I think

PSYCHO THEME TUNE. When I see this I think JAWS THEME TUNE when I see

this I think. Later we will get music from Sinead O'Connor. But

He's as good as it gets, it's Cuba Gooding Jr.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE . And, he's frighteningly talented,

it's Daniel Radcliffe. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hey, why did they give the black man a big glass of wine. What the

hell! Can I get a brown paper bag. You asked gor it? I know, it's

genetics. That's all I'm saying. You are not drinking alone. It's a

sophisticated looking couch. We all you knew we would be on television.

I'm proud, Daniel is all grown up. He is playing a father himself now.

Yes, I am. You are a dad. playing a dad. It's bizarre. I

thought to myself, everyone having seen me in a schoolboy out fit for

ten years, it will be a leap to see me as a dad much I asked James to

audition my real-life God son. What would sell it it was if the

relationship between my son and I seem real. My real-life godson

plays my son. He is really good. At the time I was obsessed with him

not crying and not being cold on a night shoot. It was horrible. This

was a fill nm which the kids are really not all right. They are more

than disturbed. You see stuff happen to kids which you don't

normally see happen to kids in films. Do you see dead people?

There are a lot of dead people. don't play that. Man, we are a

religious family. I don't play that. I get scared easy. Do you get

scared easy? Quiet your mouth. you get scared? I don't. I scream a

lot. If I... I don't know why. Because you are scared. I have got

to merchandise at 5.55 am and they say, "we don't open up 6.00 am" and

I scream for no reason. Single dads who push their kids in prams and

they think about their life and go, ah, ah, that kind of screaming.

do. When you have kids you see the more horrific things happening to

them. You think, what if I drop them now. You think, my goodness,

no. It's a built in thing. When the kid is in bed and you lie on them,

or you are nearly on top of them. It's like ah, ah! Our first child

was laying between us, he was only one. I was sleeping. In my dream I

got in a fight, right. So, seriously. I did one of these. His

little forehead was right here. I went. Oh, I woke up. I turned the

light on the other hand and he's like this... BABY SCREAMING. MY

WIFE WAS LIKE, "WHAT THE HELL". I WAS LIKE "I HIT THE BABY". I TURNED

THE LIGHT ON SKCHES AND IT WAS HIS FACE. THERE A MOMENT WHERE THEY GET

HURT. FIVE SECOND WHEN THEY PROCESS IT AND REALISE AND GO MENTAL..

Daniel, have you been through the experience of your in laws. I met

my girlfriend's parents. We are a little way of off them being the

inlaws. It's a nerve-wracking experience when you meet your

girlfriend's family. Was your girlfriend not there She wasn't

there. That seems cruel. Absolutely not. When I was in New York doing

the show I did out. There I lived with my parents moved back in with

me at the beginning of the year. Spongers. I know. She was with me

over there as well. There goes that relationship. She was living with

me out there as well. And, she spent months with my parents just

her and them in the house. Her parents came over to New York, I

took them out to lunch. It was lovely. Hello Jill, hello Malcolm.

I turned around and said, "have I passed?" You are not going to phone

Rosie and go, "he's terrible. You can't see him again, he's the most

awful person I have met". That didn't happen. We are still going

out. I guess that OK -- is OK. are pleased for you. Wonderful.

When I met Jill and Malcolm that was weird. They were confused as to

why you were at their house. That was strange. Malcolm and Jill

adopted me in the 1970s to heal the wounds from my childhood. The two

of you, funny, funny. He has to go back and talk to them after this.

They will be fine. They have a good sense of humour. Fingers crossed.

Huge congratulations The Woman in Black, a big hit? Well, yes. So far.

Not just here but in America? amazingly in America. Everyone pays

a lot of attention to box office stuff over there. You hear a lot of

it. Apparently, the film was predicted to make �million and it

made �21 million, which is awesome. What is awesome about that. It's

always, kind of, possible to just see those figures. It seems quite

cold how much money the film made. What that meant is that a tonne of

people went to see it. When you make a film all you want is people

to see it. They did, so thanks. an industry you are seen as a

bankable star not that guy part of a franchise you can sale movie by

yourself? It's a good start. I wasn't under the illusion that

people would see this film and say, he is not Harry Potter any more,

and it has changed my opinion. I look different. There will never be

one part that separates me from those ten years of my life. It's a

matter of getting people accustomed to seeing me in other films and

keeping busy. I saw Daniel in the West End. Was terrifying. He got

naked and we saw his willy. No-one knew if it was him or the horse!

Malcolm and Jill. Tell me they never saw it? They never did.

He got that shit from his daddy. Stop it. I like how you are talking

about a small opening, and big, Harry Potter made hundreds of

dollars you arnt aren't worried about money any more, man.

thing is, people so often people... Huge star, mother. That fame thing.

Fame doesn't last. Fame is a by- product. It is fleeting. It's a by-

product of good work. I know... do good work. Thank you, sir.

are an artist. I hate that word. Don't say that to him! I hate actor

the calling... You can't paint. Because I can't paint. I have a

problem who say, "artist who --" when they are not near an easel. It

makes me murderous. Let's move on. I have some questions here. I'll

use one of these. I'll use one of these. It's interesting. In press

for The Woman in Black we found out a lot more about you. You know, you

talked about your girlfriend and problems with alcohol and the fans.

All those, I didn't know. That was that deliberate, or was it because

you could. Presumably during Harry Potter someone would have killed

you if you told these stories at all. They let me go to the West

End. They were OK with stuff. In the last year I came to the

conclusion that the easest way to be, if you're well-known is to have

as little gap, as little difference between how people perceive you and

how you actually rfplt I do interviews like this and I feel I'm

lying or hiding stuff. It ease's easier if I don't, if... For me I

find it easier if I don't feel I have to do that. That is why I

talked about, well I talked about Rosie pictures came out and people

were like, "who is she?" I needed to tell them much I talked about

the drinking thing it came up as well it felt better to be honest.

It seems like you made bold choices. Big Broadway musical, a classic

gothic horror. They are the things that have come along. I have been

lucky. You have to show people you are willing to take risks. You have

to show people... When you are in a big franchise people expect to you

do nothing. In terms of the money thing thaw mentioned, Cuba,

everyone says, "you don't need to work again". What they never ask, I

have worked every day sense since I was ten. I didn't know how to do

anything else. I didn't mean. I meant you accomplished everything

else. That's ought -- August all So do you take time off? I am

having three weeks off in about two weeks. I'm very excited. I haven't

taken that time off in four years. Try shopping and lying down. It's

great. I think you will like it! He may never get back up again. He is

blessed. If I love it. Talking about the Woman In Black, it is

fantastic, it is proper old- fashioned Gothic art. It makes you

gasp. It does. There is no call for blood, it is not like that. But

there are things that will make you scare -- scared of the dark. It is

creepy, chilling, suspenseful. on set, presumably you tried to

frighten each other? He has, it was very useful on this film because I

actually had an actress there who plays the Woman In Black, and the

main scare comes from the fact that me and my body double, who has been

doubling me since the fourth Harry Potter because that is the last

time I grew! No, it's true. We got into a thing where we would try to

scare each other round the set randomly, and he eventually won

because I was going home one night and he had hit himself in the foot

while of the passenger seat side of the car, and I just opened the door

and he leapt at May, and I was terrified. It could have been a

black on black crime. I knocked him out! Did. We are going to watch a

clip, so deep breaths, everybody. You may want to hold hands. This is

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 75 seconds

you alone in the house, and you are Know, that wasn't scary. A change

of underwear. -- no that wasn't Nothing happens right after that.

The rocking chair features quite heavily. Anyone who has seen the

play will know the rocking chair features quite heavily. Cuba

Gooding Jr, you have just had a big hit. We are going to talk about it

in a minute, but in a way, you have had a similar experience to Daniel

in that you had something so successful that it doesn't leave

you alone. Is it true that still you get the show me the money thing.

Yes, all the time. I wish I could have it again so I can say, bam!

There must be days when it is so hard. Yes, especially in a bar when

some drunk comes up you and spits it in your face. Were they want you

to say it, and they say, no, say it like in the movie! And did you have

to bang your father from visiting the set again after Jerry Maguire?

Is that true? Why, because when I introduced him to Tom Cruise...?

Yes, the answer is yes, I told him, no more visits to my set. What did

he say? He was like, Tom, I love I almost fainted. I was like,

please, Lord, let me disappear. what did he say? Thank you, Tom.

Get back in the car he! One of those moments in life. And was your

father...? Mentally ill! That is why I do stand up, to heal the

wounds of my childhood. Being from an Iranian background, he would say

things like, you have to take opportunities, because some people

if you put opportunity in a test- tube and shove it up their arse,

they farted out. You know when you shoot a cat up your arse, it took

me a while to understand, this is the Iranian version of the saying

Thank you so much. I feel healed. Healing through laughter. Red tails,

a big hit in the States, so talk us through it. It is about the fighter

pilots in World War Two who were bomber escorts for the big bombers.

At the time, it was a segregated military, so they refused entry,

and finally when they were allowed to fight, they had exemplary

records. They really were exceptional. That is amazing,

because you from that in Prague? Yes, in an abandoned Russian air

base in the Czech Republic. It was interesting because you really felt

like you are backing 1943, because the whole air base was we done into

that time period, and I don't know if you have never been to Prague,

there are not many black people. And on the set it was all black

faces. And remember the first time we went to the set, we would say,

this is amazing! And they didn't understand people, and oh, you are

not American. They bossed people in. African Americans don't like

Africans? No, that's not true. people come and to cure people and

to accuse someone else, 500 years later, a few Africans turn up in

America, with briefcases and watches. If you is the same with

Spanish and Mexicans, if you go to Spain and say, are you Mexican, I

will fight you! And George Lucas was passionate about this, he put

his own money in. Was he around for the film? Heeded and directed, he

produced it. He produced it, but his hands were on it. And, action!

Waiters second, stay there. It is so funny, because the first time I

walked on the set, he looks at you, and he said, got more dialogue than

the stormtroopers, hey? And he breaks into this story, and the

whole set stops. You don't realise how much power this man has. He is

a film icon. Some of those big actors, there is something

charismatic, Berwick -- they are quite presidential. I worked with

Robert Redford, and whenever he walked on set, everyone stood up.

You realise these people are so quick. I was introduced to him, and

are thought I would do a joke, I said Mr Redford, you're a big fan,

I love Hawaii Five-O. And he looked at me and said, thanks, you were

great in Dr Zhivago, but you let yourself go. So he is very quick.

Never try to outwit them. What was he like? Presidential, as I just

said a few moments ago. You were too busy playing with you sure long.

Yes, every time the camera cut away from me. Focus, everyone! We are

about to see a clip - sorry I was hoping for a nice introduction than

this. Just go to the clip! Role the What was your question? What we do,

how well we do it. Does it matter? You sign up, you get shiny boots

and a uniform and you think that would be the end of bigotry? You

are coloured men in a white man's Army, and you thought that you

would be equal? Any of you want to wash yourselves out? Feel free to

do so. I will have you on the next thing back home to make room for

those who want to stay and fight. Get your head up, son. You are

fighter pilots. Watch the rest of That's what I'm talking about!

Vancouver that, and I'm very excited for you all to see it.

Let's talk about your film career, because you have been in so many

films, and I have many fears, so for me, and watching one of these

films, and then suddenly, Omid Djalili is in it! I am a comeback

specialist. And I can talk up here, or down here. I can do whatever you

I get confused. But yes, it has been an interesting career.

money, Sex And The City, Gladiator, James Bond. I did play Picasso in

one film. I was very overweight, and they asked me to lose four

stone in six weeks, and I couldn't, so I was losing weight as we went

along, and then at the Film Festival, they were asking

questions, can you explain, Picasso was overweight. And they said, in

between the rows period and the blue period, there was the fast

food period. And if you notice Picasso's painting with doughnuts...

And they bought it! I was the first fat Picasso. And touring around the

world, stand-up tours, a lot of people tonight will know you from

the adverts, the money supermarket. It is interesting, because I had a

mother come up to me and said, my eight-year old loves me in those

ads, and I said to him, do you like me in those ads, and he started

singing and he sang go compare, and I said no! And I said no, I am not

sign anything for this kid, he thinks I am in the other advert. I

am not a meerkat! And I am not Stavros flatly! And does anyone

ever get recognised as him of Daniel, do you still get taken for

Elijah Wood? Not as often, but still quite a lot. You don't look

quite so alike any more. Oh, I take it back! I thought that was a

I was fortunate enough to meet Elijah, and he is a lovely guy. It

is much more disturbing for him, because he was being recognised as

me when I was 13 and he was in his twenties. I signed a photo once in

Japan, because somebody gave me a photo on the red carpet of Elijah

Wood, and there is no time to explain to the male language that

is not their first in that moment but it is not me, so I just wrote,

I am not LIG would, and Daniel Radcliffe. -- I am not Elijah Wood.

Some of these lookalikes are very good. Dobby is Prime Minister

Vladimir Putin. Yes, and one of the funniest things about that is

apparently it makes him really angry. You would think that other

things would PC off. And they did very well with Hagrid. He looks a

bit like the guy from Lost. But not everyone using this website got the

concept. Somebody put in Voldemort, and they suggested he looked eerily

Omid Djalili your tour is coming to a big climax. Yes. It's called Tour

of Duty. You brought the dancing back into the show. You didn't want

it do it for a while. Yes. People said, sing and dance more. I got

deaf threats. There was a card that said, "we heard you are not dancing,

you better dance or die" it was dance or die. It was like a wedding

invitation. Ironic. It only happens to me. You started dancing again?

did. Believe me, I dance the whole bloody show. It's more than a dance

routine. Like a movement art piece. Fantastic. Can I encourage you to

do a little bit for us. No, sorry, I don't dance.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE . The only thing I would say...

Come on. Kueb ya is an amazing dancer. Daniel Radcliffe won the

Fred Astire award. I didn't win. It I was nominated. Some loser is good

at dancing in America. Who cares. If you dance, we compete the trio.

I'm sorry. Even if I played music. Sorry. Cue the music.

APPLAUSE Beautiful. Thank you very much,

Right, it's time for our music act now. My next guest is one of the

greatest musical exports Ireland has ever produced much we are

thrilled to have her back on the show. Ladies and gentlemen, would

you, please, put your hands together for Sinead O'Connor. Hello.

Very good. Welcome to the boys club. Great pleasure to meet you. One of

my children had many imaginary baths with you. I have bathed you

often with one of my children. to get better acquainted. I thought

I felt something. I didn't recognise you with your clothes on.

There is a difference. Under a cloak of invisibility. You don't

want him in the bath with your children. Sinead O'Connor,

congratulations you are singing The Wolf Is Getting Married, I think

it's the best thing you have done in years. It's fantastic. I'm

playing it on the roofplt it's very good. It's off the album. I rushed

out earlier and bought it. that's not it! That's not the could

have been of my record. Where did you buy that? There is an inside

sleeve. Don't. No, no. No. That is not going to go well. No. There

isn't even one it! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I must have left it in the car! Great come back. Thank you, very

much. It's still at the radio station where it's being played

constantly. It's on a loop. How are you? Are you all right? Are you

well. People worry about you. Reread all these things about you.

Bla, bla. I don't know how I should answer those questions. In one way

I want to talk about music. The only thing that bothers me about my

stuff is that I have dealt with 25 years like this with everyone

treating me like a crazy person. It's a great source of

entertainment. We live in a world where crazy is an abuse. I think it

should be outlawed. I know you don't mean. That I adore you.

really don't mean you any harm. are lovely. Absolutely. It's a

weird question. People go, "are you all right?" How do I prove I am.

You prove you are all right by being here and smiling. I'm a

nervous wreck about interviews, to be honest. I have a record company

going, "don't is a anything" on the other hand I'm.... Don't worry.

That is why I'm saying. It what you see now before you is what I sing.

When you see me singing I make sense. Look. Sinead O'Connor, go

and sing. Go sing, baby. All right. In a minute, we will have this

week's storys in the famous Red Chair. First performing her new

single, The Wolf Is Getting Married it is Sinead O'Connor.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE # I used to have no wolves around

# I was too free, if that's possible to be$$NEWLINE# No safety,

is what I mean # No solid foundation to keep me

# But the sun's peeping out of the # Where there used to be only gray

# The wolf is getting married # And he'll never cry again

# Your smile, makes me smile # Your laugh, makes me laugh

# Your joy, gives me joy # Your hope, gives me hope

# And the sun's peeping out of the # Where there used to be only gray

# The wolf is getting married # And he'll never cry again

# Never cry again # Even when something terrible is

happening # You laugh and that's the thing I

love about you most # Even when something terrible is

happening # You laugh and that's the thing I

love about you most # Your smile, make -- makes me

smile # And your hope, gives me hope

# And the sun's peeping out of the # Where there used to be only gray

# The wolf is getting married # And he'll never cry again

# Never cry again # Oh-oh #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Sinead O'Connor, come on back and

join us. That was so fantastic. Come and sit there. We will do the

Red Chair and we'll all go home. You sit there. It's a lovely song,

isn't it? CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

They are liking the singing. Seriously, I think it's the best

thing you have done in years. I really love it. Congratulations.

I'm glad you love it. Then the talent comes out. You should do

what you do and don't do nothing else really. Lessons are learnt.

Right, before we go tonight just time for a story or two in the Red

Chair, who is up first? Hello. Hi. I can imagine what this story

is going to be. I apologise in advance for anything that might

have happened to you in your life. What is your name? Stephen. I think

we know the story, off you go. or three times a week I get

mistaken for one of your guests on Do something with your eyebrows.

That's what's doing it. Only this town is big enough for one set of

eyebrows like this. He has to do something about them. Do you pluck

in between? I occasionally have to. For everyone else's sake really.

It's not an attractive thing. I wondered, you brought tup. I did.

thought I would ask while we were talking. What is your name? Garo.

Yes? All right. Where are you from? Mexico. Mexico. They are loving the

Mexico. What do you do in Mexico? Well, I'm studying abroad here.

What are you studying here in the United Kingdom? I go to NYU. I'm

doing a semister... I'm studying here. NYU... Do you want to go with

the next one. Yeah, I do. Sit up here. Excellent. Let's see who is

up next. Good luck. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Right! Shall we try one more? Let's try one more. OK. What is your

name? Josie. Where are you from? Norwich. What do you do in Norwich?

I don't do it in Norwich I do it in London. She is a hooker. Aim' a

journalist. NO! She said she was a journalists. In fairness... I had

better move again. Well done everyone in the Red Chair, very

good. If you would like to join us on the show and have a go in the

Red Chair, good luck, contact us at our website. Thank you to our

guests tonight, Sinead O'Connor, Omid Djalili, Cuba Gooding Jr and