Episode 5 The Graham Norton Show

Episode 5

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That's it, give my lamp a good rub. Go on, yes!. Oh. I am the genie of


the lamp. It's Robin Williams everyone.


I am the genie. I am in character. I can grant you one wish. I wish to


have Robin Williams on my show. That's impossible, he is a big


Hollywood superstoor. Are there any other wishes? I would like to be


young and beautiful. OK, I'll get Robin Williams! Let's start the


APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Welcome to the show.


What a happy show we have tonight. You are in for a treat. He is here,


comic superstar Robin Williams is on the show.


Ab Fab star star Jennifer Saunders is on the show.


Lord of the Hobbits, Elijah Wood is on the show.


And we've got music and chat with the brilliant JLS!


APPLAUSE All right, yes. Delighted to


welcome Robin Williams back to the show. Oscar winner, and a thousand


voices and star as almost as many films. One of the biggest films was


Mrs Doubtfire. I love watching things where a man pretends to be a


woman. Tootsie, Hairspray, I'm A Celebrity!


Also delight today welcome elidge gentleman - Elijah Wood back to the


show. Best known for Lord of the Rings, he was part of a big Hobbit


family, Frodo, Bilbo and of course APPLAUSE


Straight out of middle earth! Eli gentleman starring with Robin


in Happy Feet 2 and in Happy Feet, Mumbles causes horror when he


starts dancing. I am sure that reminds me of someone.


Oh, yes! The big news is that Russell Grant


is out. To be fair, I guessed that a few


weeks ago. On Saturday he was fired from a cannon. Look at him! About


to go where he's never been before! Let's get the guests on. Later on


we will have JLS. First, it's my favourite Hobbit,


Elijah Wood. APPLAUSE


She's the Ab Fab star, it's And the Aladdin genie be who is a


genius, Robin Williams. That's a happy sofa. Do you not


have wine? I want wine. Didn't someone ask you would you like a


drink on set. Thomas! Sauvignon. Thomas!


I'm getting wine. I will get wine for you, madam. You are very good


at French. I was there for my honeymoon. Honeymoon, ladies and


gentlemen! Anne Frank suite at the hotel, up three flights of stairs.


Better than a Notre Dame honeymoon suite. So great to be there.


you pestered by paparazzi. They are French, it is like animal


photography, they go "Kiss her ". "Now lift up her skirt, be a man ".


Even the children are smoking! It's so sweet. I am told your wine order


is ready. Thomas! There's the wine. Take this away,


give it to some starving person. am really happy now. You should be


so happy and giddy, because Ab Fab is back. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING


Three episodes, two at Christmas and one for the Olympics.


Marvellous. Right now I need to check, you had a fall. I had my


head glued back together. Was it that bad? Yes. It is a bit


embarrassing. I have this dog, and I took it out, I had had a few


glasses. And I took the dog out for a walk late at night and up and


down the street and I I lent against a railings and it turned


out to be a gate and it it went straight down. I was just in my


flip-flops and a white dress, it was summer, I felt myself falling


and thought this is going to be bad. Even the dog is like oh no. Did the


dog care? No, the dog was waiting on the end of a long lead. I had to


do a backwards somersault. I came out and I thought, this is bad ". I


got back up the steps and I thought I have got to make my way home and


there were boys coming down the street and they must have seen this


mad person in white disappear and come back up with blood covering


the whole of the front of my dress. They said "Are you all right?" I


said I am absolutely fine. I walked back down the street with the dog.


You got back together with all the Ab Fab ladies. Eli gentleman, you


have had a similar thing, you slipped back into your hairy feet.


Yes. You must have thought we are never going back? Yes, it was eight


years ago we finished the last film, so, that was it, in my opinion, at


the time there was no more to do with Frodo and they started the


idea of doing the Hobbit. They came up with this idea they told me


about a year before they finished writing the script. They said it is


a flash forward and includes you would you like to come back. I


thought, what a dream. When you get to New Zealand you must be like a


God. It must be like "He's back "He's come again. When we were


making the films all of us were locals. The community in Wellington


knew what we were doing and knew of us but they treated us like locals,


but after the movies came out, it was a different energy, so now


people recognise us from the films. It's still local going back to


Wellington. Home-made signs, things like that. We have separated you in


a Jennifer sandwich because we thought you might be sick of the


sight of each other. You have been together for sometime now. We have


been doing the voices for Happy Feet. We record together in the


same room. That is really unusual isn't it to all be together?


guess. When I did Aladdin I was alone in the room and the first day,


I said do you mind if I try something and they said fine. 23


hours later, they have 40 different characters. But it was a weird


thing, most of the time you are alone and usually the director is


some place else, New York or Australia, it is like bad phone sex


with NASA. When you are together in the same room it is a blast because


you get to play off each other. did Shrek 2. You didn't get to meet


anybody anybody? Nobody. They wouldn't let you do a voice? No, I


tried a few, but it is similar to what it ends up as. Apparently you


noticed Robin got warm in Australia. Doing a voice, but because you are


working together, I was sweating more than Marlon bran doe after a


mex kal -- Mexican meal. You bounce off each other. There are all these


Latin comics and they are great and you start to build a rhythm.


you nearly pass out? I was kidding, Lovelace is part creature part pimp.


I was doing this (SHOUTING) You would do sufficient, you play and


then George goes "Do it ". You had a heart... I had heart surgery. I


can crap standing up now! Once you have the surgery, you have


to take it slow. I can't eat meat. On the honeymoon, do you have to...


Viagra is not your friend. "Are you coming? No, I'm dying ". You have


to pace yourself. "Are you ready my dear?"


Shall we?, yes, let's go down there. How are we doing?


APPLAUSE Just because, is it true you were


on the same drug, that drug Michael Jackson... The anymore name is milk


of amnesia. He was taking it to sleep, which is like doing


chemotherapy because you are tired of shaving your head. It is like a


drug - I woke up from my heart sudgery, I woke up, where am I,


they said Cleveland, and I said why. It's a devastateingly powerful drug.


It has to be administered in a hospital situation and he was doing


it at all. All new married and I met your daughter before the show.


She is wonderful, Zelda, named after the video game, Zelda.


you can do that. She has a brother Mario! My wife was pregnant with


her and my first knock Zachary was playing a video game and he said


what about this as a name for a child. I thought it was a great


name. She's wonderful. She's grown up with it and done well with it.


Also, this will give you ideas for names to name your children, she's


now doing promotion for the game. She gets paid to be called Zelda.


That's genius! Who knew. Next off Smirnoff!


Who knew at the time. "You know dad one day you will be making money


off this ". You reprised the two roles? Lovelace. Lovelace is a new


sweater now. In Australia after the oil spills and disasters, where


penguins are covered in oil, they use deter detergents to cover wash


them off. There is a Grand Prix of ladies in Australia who nit jumpers


for penguins. -- group of ladies. They wear these sweaters until


their feathers grow back. Are they tank tops? A lovely gay jumper. "I


want something to make my flippers look good ". Is it true you are


supposed to do three? Originally they had plea doing the voice of


the Scottish penguin. But it sounded too much like Mrs Doubtfire


on steroids. Did they make you look after a real penguin? It was the


Today Show. It happens all the time on chat shows when you have animals.


It doesn't bother me. They offer you free dry cleaning and that kind


of thing? They may have had a wet wipe. Sushly I worked with an owe


rang tang on Mork And Mindy. I was walking down the street, holding


its hand and all of a sudden it reached up slowly and undid my fly.


I also met cocoa the gorilla. She was very sweet and she met me and


just because I am so hairy, she signed I would like to take you in


the back room. So I was hit on by a gorilla. That would be a great


story for a bar, "I had a crazy night" really, I slept with a


gorilla. We must have a look at a clip of


I wouldn't want you to get cold feet my darling.


Ramon it's incredible, everybody came. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING


Jennifer Saunders, we must hail the return of Ab Fab.


It seems churlish to complain before they have come on but why


only three? They didn't want - it wasn't offered a series, it is


because it is the 2 ss anniversary of when it first went out. I said I


wouldn't mind doing a couple for Christmas and they said they want


for the Olympics. Everyone is back? Everyone is still alive. Depressing


first episode! Bit of explaining. Have you gone with the celebrity


cameos again? We haven't got many. We have the regulars, Lulu and Emma


Bunton. But to be honest, if you have three, you have a huge cast to


try and get into all of them. it a lovely thing going back?


really was, I felt that it was the right time to do it. Everyone was


up for it. And everyone seemed the same. It just seemed the same. At


the read-through, you get a lot of clapping open of the spectacles


cases and people bending low to look at the lines. And the click of


bones as you walk along the floor. Did you write all that in? They are


older. Edina is 60 now. I am not saying she is 60, because I refuse


to play her as 60, she was 40, 21 years ago. We know Ab Fab won


BAFTAS and emmiss but you have had lots of other hon oures. We got


made honoury New Yorkers, me and Joanna, it was a ceremony that was


going to be at the Senate in New York and it was Gay Pride week, so


it was the LGBT and all the other letters awards, and thought it was


going to be a good old night, and said to Joanna, when we go to New


York and go to these parties, there are six foot men dressed as us and


we walk in looking like small mice and they never recognise us and


they request "Is Jennifer here ". So I said let's go dressed up. So I


got a white hat and Stars & Stripes round it, great white suit, and I


said to her, do you think I need to make a speech and she said "No, I


don't think so darling, just hello, darlings, that will do ". So we


went dressed up, looking like clowns. To one of the most serious


events I have ever been to! It was deeply... Lots of songs to people


who had died ofates and slow piano playing, and then I said I am going


to kill you, I am going to get up there, I went up and said "Thank


you sweety, darling ". I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I


had a stet son with a Stars & Stripes on it.


But the evening was saved because we went on to a gay club where they


had done a lookalike contest and suddenly I was with my people. I


was happy. Robin you won the Oscar for, that must be a career


highlight, did it change your life? No, for a week it was like,


congratulations, two weeks later, hay Mork. The moment they say your


name when you win, English becomes a second language. I forgot to


thank my mother and she was in the audience. That was rough for the


next few years. "Well, how is the award, you came through here, how


is the award?" You must have had an amazing night


when Lord of the Rings - it has the most Oscar wins of all time. It was


the most ever nominated and won together. But then, I love this,


you didn't go to all the proper parts. Tell us where you went.


one ring, the fans of the Lord of the Rings had their one ring party


celebrating the Oscars and we went to that party. APPLAUSE


I think Pete showed up. Billy Boyd sang Dominic Monaghan sang. We


thought we were going to show up and make an appearance and thank


you everyone for having a great party and it was the best, we just


stayed there all night. We felt like, they were celebrating


this thing with us and so many of the people who were part of making


the films were there at the Oscars like that, it was a big family. We


were celebrating as a family. it the Oscars, Golden Globes, Jack


Nicholson, you were waiting to go on with him. I was waiting to go to


present an award and jack was back there and Dustin Hoffman was back


there and somehow Lord of the Rings came up in conversation and he


stood there and said "You know, that movie, it just had so many


endings, and it just wouldn't end", and he said to me he actually


walked out before the end. He said, "What happened?" I said what do you


mean what happened. Esaid tell me what the end was. I said at the end


the Hobbits are saying goodbye and Frodo gets on the boat. He said "I


didn't even see that, walked out before the end ". He was


complaining there were too many endings in the film. I have to go


outside for a little medication. When I won my award, he won his


third. We were standing back stage and he requests "You know, now I


have one for every decade" I went, "You bastard ". Is Ab Fab movie, is


someone talking to you about that? I did say to someone, it seems to


have ballooned into an idea. I am thinking about it. APPLAUSE


Is We are really thrilled because you brought, if hasn't been seen


anyone where else, this is a clip from the first episode. It is the


Here is an exclusive clip from the You're late! I'm not late. You have


work to do when I am gone, you have to update my website. My website


must be fresh and happening. Ginko, gong All right, more blog, more


flog, I went my favourite twes. Shall I twitter that. Stay here and


don't let my mother in. I'm here already, dear. Howdy, stranger. It


looks as if your shens have exploded. It's a skirt!


June is like the eternal person. She will never change. She seems to


look younger. I think she is looking younger. I mentioned you


are going back to the movies. Was there a part of you that thought


about it. People must have stopped yelling Frodo at you in the street.


No, never stops. He is wearing a ring. It is not a ring of power.


it true, it seems unlikely, that you own a single piece of every bit


of memorabilia that they produced of the Lord of the Rings? Well,


that is half true. I've got a few things from the actual films, I


have the ring, I have a map from Bilbo's study and I went back and


did a final bit and they gave me the book Bilbo writes in. On my


last day in Hobbiton, it was magical. In Hobbiton. It's a set!


It's a real place. No, it's not. Glaim! Don't you screw up his


dreams. His feet are big, too. have built it, we built it for Lord


of the Rings. We took all of the facades away and it's since been a


tourist attraction and now it's been rebuilt with the Hobbit but


with sustainable materials so it will always be there. So from now


on, you will be able to see Hobbiton and visit it. You can't


stay there. Oh. We won't fit in. Where is my bedroom. Here is the




Yes, we are going to Hobbiton for Christmas. I turned 19 when we


first went to Hobbiton. You can say "I had my birthday party in


Hobbiton ". Who knew it was going to take off and become a real real


place. Good luck getting into New Zealand


asshole! It's him, Graham Norton, come on


Graham. He's the Hobbit denier. It is time


to meet our musical act for tonight. They have two Brits, four MOBOs and


five number one singles and selling over two million albums. Please


welcome JLS! It's Marvin, JB, Ortise, and Aston


Merrygold, lives in Hobbiton, discovered in Middle Earth's got


Talent! You are not not singing its current


single. No it is our next single. saw you nipping around. You are on


top of the world. It couldn't have gone better. At what stage did you


leave the ex-factor - X factor. came came second. Did you know at


that point that you were safe? We weren't banging on Simon's door


but we were outside the door, he was in there, and we were like,


hold on, what's going to happen, so it was a gruelling time.


kidnapped Simon Cowell and said we need to get a deal now and he said


no. Did he say no? Yes. What an I had qulot. -- idiot. JLS, there are


lots of promotional opportunities for bands, dolls and T-shirts,


posters. But JLS, very exciteingly, they have their own range of


condoms everybody. Who sells best? He does! Do you


really? Yes, Merrygold sells the best. Could I have is a Merrygold


number four please! Presumably you have these in your bedside lockers,


"Hold on till I get my condoms ". They should start selling


personalised condoms. The big selling point on these ones is


"Smells better ". That's wonderful. How bad were they


before, boys? What is that smell! People now say it smells like a


Merrygold" We will wait no longer, if you want


to go and get ready, boys, the stage awaits.


Now singing their new single, Do # Do you see what I see


# You make it hard for me girl every time we're on the floor


# I want to kiss you cause I Igotta know that tonight is real


# Do You Feel What I Feel? # Do You Feel What I Feel


# Two people falling in love # Now the box is turning on the


lights # Do you see what I see?


# Got my car and it's waiting outside


# You should leave when I leave # Dancing with you is so easy cause


you're beautiful # You make it hard for me girl


every time we're on the floor # I want to kiss you cause I got to


know that tonight is real # Do You Feel What I Feel?


# Do You Feel What I Feel # Two people falling in love


# Could you feel the temperature rising


# Could you feel the drink in your blood


# Let me cast a beat and we'll right it


# Put your hands in the air baby # Put your hands up


# Do you hear us Do You Feel What I Feel


# Put your hands up # Do You Feel What I Feel


# Do you feel what I feel Two people falling in love


# Let's leaflets get in the car # Do you feel what I feel


# Two people falling in love # Do you feel what I feel


# Two people falling in love # Do you feel what I feel




Come and sit down. Very good.


Well done. The hat work was fabulous


It was really good. Then you threw it away. There is so much money now,


they just throw their hats away. I am holding your new album "Jukebox,


which is in record shops now. If you find a record shop, it will be


in there. I remember when you used to buy those. Before we go, let's


have a story in the Red Chair. Who is up first?


Hello. I'm Sharon. That's Sharon. Where are you from? Perth Australia.


Good on you Sharon. Do you live here? I moved to London to work and


meet a husband, whichever comes first. Whichever comes first!


getting desperate. What is your surname at the moment. Box. Box as


in cardboard box. That's awful. remember the box girl. Off you go.


I was in the monkey forest where monkeys roam around wild and you


get a photograph taken with these monkeys. The guy put this monkey on


my lap and it was a big male and the monkey is supposed to sit and


not move while I feed it nuts. This monkey took a liking to me and it


started grabbing my chest and man handling me like a first date. Then


I felt this wetness next to my ear and I knew I wasn't supposed to


move and I turned my head and saw a big red penis in my ear.


APPLAUSE AND CHEERING That is the story of the box and


the red penis. You are not finding a husband now!


Technically still a virgin. We knew that was coming. We didn't


know how far it was going to go. One more.


Hello Graham. What is your name? Ron. Where are you from? Vancouver,


Canada. Beautiful city. My wife and I were


living in Cologne and while we were there we had a lot of visitors from


Canada. Our favourite place to take them was the Cologne zoo. The


favourite part of the zoo was the gorilla paddock. One day I had a


few friends at the paddock and there were other people there as


well. The gorillas, two of them, they weren't very exciting, they


weren't being very entertaining... I know how it feels. One was


picking parts of the body and examining the product. I thought


that I could try and entertain these gorillas or get them to do


something so I started doing my gorilla dance and after about 30


seconds the gorilla sitting on the rock stopped picking, stood up,


looked at me and went... You can walk off, well done.


APPLAUSE You can go on to the website to


have a go at the Red Chair. I love that, slow-clabbed by a


monkey. Thank you to JLS, Elijah Wood, Jennifer Saunders, and Mr


Joining Graham on his sofa are Oscar-winning comedy icon Robin Williams and Lord of the Rings star Elijah Wood, both starring in Happy Feet 2; comedienne and writer Jennifer Saunders, introducing the new episodes of her hit sitcom Absolutely Fabulous; and music from JLS, performing their single Do You Feel What I Feel.

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