Episode 6 The Graham Norton Show

J Tonight on the show the star of the Hangover films. We have all

woken up after a big night, found you are in bed with someone you

don't know. Hello! Hello!

What a line-up we have for you tonight. Gavin & Stacey star James

car den is here. Jessica Biel is here.

Geordie funny woman Sarah Millican is here. Hangover star Bradley

Cooper will be here later. We've got music and chat from the

brilliant Lenny Kravitz That is a very lucky sofa.

Very excited about meeting James, creator of Gavin & Stacey. He

played Smithy, traditional Essex boy. TOWIE's Mark Wright is in the

jungle. Here is a moment I happened to catch. And freeze frame.

You do think though, he is still in the jungle, who is voting for him?

So glad to have Sarah Millican back on the show. One of Sarah's habits

is that she takes photos of all the desserts she eats. Here she is with

a blueberry muffin. Here she is with three booze-soaked fruit cakes.

Jessica Biel is here. Jessica is about to appear in a new

film New Year's Eve, about what New Yorkers get up to on that night.

That's New Year's Eve in America, and here's new eeshing's eve in

Britain. Let's get some guests on.

We will have music and chat from Lenny Kravitz. But first Sarah

He is in a League of Wales his own, it's Mr James car den.

All very welcome to my sofa. Look at them now, all happy.

Jessica Biel We are so pleased you are back. We didn't think you might

ever come back on the show. I was a little afraid of the last

experience we had. There was a very drunk Mickey Rourke. You were

brilliant with it. Another person might have freaked out. I was

internally crapping myself. I did think afterwards you coped very

well but then you are a beautiful woman, you must get hit on by

people all the time. No, no, that I am looking forward to meeting

Bradley Cooper. He's great. right, you will. He's fit!

He is. I will move over so you can sit beside him. You ain't going

anywhere. I can only apologise. I'm used to

it now on your show. Now, you do look phenomenal. Thank you. Oh,

sorry. You look gorgeous. You do, you have done Total Recall. When

you do a big action like that, you have to show up looking toned.

do but you spend months training with crazy marble arts instructors

and you are on crazy diets, it is the hardest experience, it really

is, because you are eat ago lot of boring stuff, chicken breasts and

vegetables all the time. But it is cakes and pastas and breads and it

is in your hair all the time, that is all you can think about. Do you

ever crack? Yes, once a week at least. You don't crack slightly,

you crack bad. Me and my girlfriends were out for a night. I

saw Dunking doughnuts, I said pull the car over. We ran in, I got 24

doughnuts, went to a pizzas joint and I got two and put as much bread

and doe in my mouth as I could possibly manage. It was the best

moment. I honestly didn't think I could find you more attractive!

You are literally my dream woman - 24 doughnuts and two pizzass and

this, shit. Have you eaten a croissant out of a bin? If we are

going to talk about bingeing... It was my bin and it was my croissant.

I told my friend and she said "Oh, position now", because it was a

croissant. Have you ever done the walk down the hallway at the hotel

at night and taken somebody's old room service off the floor? No, but

I am going to tonight. I have done it. Bowls of French Fridays.

people leave things?! Under those silver fancy things, I

am going to be lifting some tonight? Did you have a scare

recently? Yes, because there are different ways when you know you

have put weight on, you are clothes don't fit, or you are crying a lot,

there is a new one, no offence, I wasn't aiming that at you, sorry.

Where my boyfriend lives is a car park and in order to get into the

car park there is a barrier that lifts up. When it senses a car is

near! I had two big bags of shopping, but it thought I was a

Peugeot 206. No weight worries in the new film,

New Year's Eve, because you are playing a pregnant woman. Right.

That must have been great. So good. The suit on that went from here up

to here, I had the biggest boobs that hung to here, Iate whatever I

wanted. You were about to have the baby throughout the film. It is all

set on New Year's Eve. Yes. cast of this film, more stars than

there are in heaven. You, Halle berry, Robert De Niro, but talk us

through your particular plot. plot is that my husband and I are

trying to win money by having the first baby in the new year. So we

are competing with this other couple and trying to get the baby

to come out by eating weird stuff and doing weird yoga poses and

crazy silly things. It is the sort of thing you could never make here,

it is very American, wears its heart on its sleeve. It is like a

love letter to New York. It is. Here is a clip of you in action.

water broke. All of it? Well, what do you think. That's too early, can

you turn it off? How do you suggest I do that? Do a down ward dog or up

ward dog or one of the dogs. Taxi. I need pants. These are your pants.

Give me the cute pink pink ones. Don't throw them at me. I will meet

APPLAUSE Did you get all broody with the

pregnancy thing and being around new babies and things? Did it make

you tick tock tick tock? Not a bomb, you understand. Yes, you couldn't

help constantly rocking and caressing the strange foam belly

and the bellybutton that stuck out. It came with a bellybutton. Yes,

the girl who plays the other woman who we are in competition with, we

would sit and rock and bump our bellies together. When you do a

really terrible dance like where you let your hips go forward like

this move, when you wear a belly and do that it is the most hill

arius thing - hilarious thing. Some of us don't have to wear

bellies. It's not funny, it's just how we dance!

I guess everyone asks you is New Year's Eve a big deal in your life?

Yes, I like holidays, I think they are fun to celebrate, but I don't

like planning big things on New Year's Eve, you always get

disappointed. "Oh, it's going to be the best night of the year You do

like a drink. Yes. You do drunk dialling. Vodka Martinis, if I have

two, black hole, black hole. too. Who do you call?

girlfriends. I say "I love you forever,"

I'm not not calling ex-boy friends or family members. I get really

emotional. I don't particularly drink but, I said to my boyfriend,

I get my emotional with my boyfriend at Christmas and new year.

I said we have been together a few years, and we need to talk about

the future. He just smiled, this big beaming grin, I was really

touched. I said are you sure you are all right talking about the

future. And he said what, like, flying cars and that.

People get engaged at Christmas. We don't want to get engaged, so we

bought a box set of the Wire, because we felt that was a longer

commitment. New Year's Eve opens on 8th

December in a cinema year you. James you have worked with amazing

people. Through Comic Relief and sport relief. The David Beckham

thing was genuine. You fell under his spell. If you meet him, you

don't know whether to shake his hand or lick his face. He holds

himself in a way and he is so nice and looks you in the eye. Is it

true the thing about you texting him? Yes, occasionally we will send

texts to each other, things like that. Yes, he is lovely, but when -

he started this. He text me first and I was so excited that I rung

four of my mates before relying and every one of them said what did you

reply. Are you playing hard to get, like you have to leave it a few

days. My girlfriend says she knows if I am texting him because of my

face! Do your face. I don't know, but she

says I look really happy. It is good to know who texts first. It is

a big sign. I will be texting first. Your autobiography is out now. You

look as though you have never seen it before. It is slightly weird

seeing it. You were an intention- seeker? Yes, I didn't realise its

extent of how much until I was writing it. I thought "You are a

bit of a Dick" at points. When you were doing boys unlimited about you

being in a boy boy band. You didn't realise until you read this, you

were serious, you were in a boy band? In school. I was really

serious about it. I thought it was all I ever wanted to do. The first

boy band, we were called Full Frontal!

I say we were a boy band, it was me and four mates and we told people

we were a band. We never really did anything and we never did any

dancing. My second boy band, we were called Insatiable. Why?

Because you just can't get enough. We used to rehearse all the time.

We were a boy band and sung and danced. We were like the Back

Street Boys, if they were worse. We had original songs and did dance

routines and we played eight gigs. Three of them were at Gav's mum's

BBQ. But we took it seriously. of the lyrics are in here. Do you

remember them? I wrote them. Girl are you ready? Girl are you ready...

That's brace yourself. I remember saying to, we had a guy called Matt

and we would write the songs together. I remember saying to him,

this is how serious I took it, I said we need like a song that is

like a chant that is as big as Let's Get Ready To Rumble. And the

song was called girl are you ready and it went

# Girl are you ready # I ain't going to rush you

# Girl are you ready girl are you ready

# I ain't going to rush you. I wish I remembered the chorus.

That wasn't the chorus! Zmoo it was all sultry and, oh baby,

and then... The moves are clearly still there. It was fun for a bit.

We would do a take that medley and stuff. At the moment James is

starring in the West End, with amazing reviews. It is going to

broodway. It is amazing. We were supposed to finish six weeks ago

and it did so well we have moved to the West End and that's taken more

money than any play in the West End ever. On 1st April we go to New

York and we open at the Music Box on broodway on the 6th. If it works

we will be there for six months and if it doesn't we will be back in

six days. You hear about these things that people do a play on

broodway and it was a hit and lots of film stars come to see the play.

When we were going, people were saying you are going to have the

greatest time, people are going to see you, you are going to meet so

many amazing people and so many shows we would do, there would be

incredible people watching the play. One day there was like David Bowie,

Stephen Spielberg, Steve Martin, all in the same audience, every

every and every night no-one would come back, nobody would come and

say hello, because we were a group of British boys. But at the time,

everyone said they would come and say hello. One day Harrison Ford

was in watching the show and he was there at the bottom of the stairs

and I went over and said, can I just say, you are the first person

who has come back to say hello, and it really means a lot, thank you so

much. It is a real honour to meet you. At that moment a gay came

round and said "Your car is ready, Mr Ford" and he just went.

We are about to meet handsome leading man, he is the star of

Limitless and a great friend of the show, the sexiest man alive,

Hello. It's a great show. I have been watching. I like talking to

you but now you are the sexiest man alive, it's official, he is the

sexiest man alive. I am number five on Heat's weird

Is it a weird thing being the sexiest man alive. It's the worst.

It's so awful! Are you a little self-conscious? I am 36-years-old

and don't care about anything like that any more. This happened and I

start today realise just how not sexy I am. I have a lot of moments

when I am walking down and I open up the door, I will go, that could

have been a lot sexier and then the other thing, it is awful admitting

this, because there was such a backlash to when they announced it,

and Ryan Godsen, who I love, we were both in Paris last week and a

friend of mine showed me a photograph, he looks like he is in

the photo shoot, like he came off the runway, with the scarf and

there was one of me and I look like the neighbour who never comes out

of his house. He says, maybe you should just stay in. This is rare,

because you have sexiest man alive, Esquire, the sexiest woman a life.

I am the sexiest woman alive according to my boyfriend. You are

Don't get your hopes up, it's People have gone a bit funny about

the Rye an thing. It was pretty intense. Are they being mean?

Nothing has physically happened to me. What is the backlash? Ryan

Gosling fans are annoyed Bradley Cooper has been voted sexiest man

alive. Was Ryan Gosling it last year? So last year. He's brilliant,

but you are fit. I am the only person on this sofa you haven't hit

on. Do something now. Lovely to see you Bradley Cooper.

Why are you here? I am here to be in lovely London and Paris and

promote the Hangover Part IIDVD which is released on Monday.

The last time you were here it was to tell us about the film. It then

went on to earn $581 million, the highest grossing R rated comedy of

all time. Comedy, actually. I think so. I am sensing hangover three

won't be that far away? personally want to do it. I know

Todd Phillips is working on the script. I imagine someone will make

that, even if it is half as successful, it is worth doing. Do

you not know,... What it is going to be about. Ons vusly it will be

about a hangover. I think we adhered to the formula in the

second one, and the third one, which would close the whole trilogy,

which it would be, even though we thought we would never make a

second one, I think it will take place in Los Angeles and maybe not

adhere to the structure, it might be different. Oh, you tease us. It

is out on December 59. I can't believe there is anyone alive who

hasn't seen it, but if you haven't, here is a clip.

I think it happened again. What did you do? I didn't do anything, I

I'm scared. Moaning)

Get up, we've got a situation. Where are we? Oh my God, Alan, your

head. Your head! It's a funny film. Not the only one

with a DVD in the stores. Sarah Millican has a DVD out. Chatter box.

Some confusion about the title of this show. I called it chatter box

because that is what I am. A man said is it based on the film

Chatter box, I Googled it, it is American, and it is about a woman

who has a talking vagina. It is a real film. Chatter box? It is

really good. I watched the fires few minutes of it and in the first

few minutes, a man and woman have sex and when they finish, she says

that was lovely, equivalent, then her vagina, "It was all right ". Oh

my God. How many times have you wanted to say that. You are still

on tour? I am, until May. It is quite a sexual show, there is a lot

of sex chat in it? Sex chat. I think it is when, I have been with

my fella for five years, and things that pop up - that sounds terrible

- perfectly good sized things pop up now and again, and it's not

always expected. We were having a carvery, as much meat as you like,

and in his pudding, he got custard in a jug and he poured the custard

on to his pieding and licked the spout of the custard jug and I was

actually aroused. I leaned over to him and said "Get in the car ".

"Bring the custard ". You are in the company of fine

actors. Have you done voice overs or acting? I am not very good. I do

me very well. Maybe my friend I thought could help me become better.

I said why don't you tell me in motions, and I will see if I can

convey with my face. He said happy, sad, and then he said surprised,

and it was going really well. Then there was a long pause because he

had run out of emotions. There was a lovely moment when he got an

inspiration, he said like you have seen a monkey. You would have been

marvellous in hangover two. Was it an illusionist, you thought

right I am going to get this. don't have a choice when you are

trying to get a part that people haven't seen you do before. It is

so very competitive. I dressed up and complete costume from 1,900,

skirt and big collar, long slefed hair. You You zrof to the audition

in full costume and went to reception. I knew it was going to

go one way or another. In Britain people would freak out if you

showed up in costume. It has to be that costume, it can't be a tomato

or something. Auditioning is so weird, it is the weirdest thing in

the world. I remember going for an audition once for a commercial, a

Dutch commercial for a yoghurt and the guy says to me, we that is what

I want you to, I want you to turn the camera on, pretend you are

completely naked, and you are sitting down on a block of ice. But

it must not be comical in any way. The crazy thing is you do it. What

you should do is say this is ridiculous, but before you know it,

"This is good James ". Before you made it big, you must

have gone for... Thousands of commercials auditions, you are

hundreds before you waiting and you are making fun of everybody going

in and then you go in, you will do anything they ask. Especially when

it is food. I remember going to all these Burger King commercials and

they have boxes of Hamburgers, and you have to eat it like you love it.

You would see there is a bite out of it because they are cutting

costs. That was very good. Thank you. I did book a Wendy's

commercial. It never aired. What happens to those audition tapes.

have them all catalogued. I tried to do a voice over show reel to see

if I had any skills in that area and the fella said can you do sexy.

I said no. He said try. I had to try. He said you sound like you are

dying. He said can you do bored. So I tried. He said, it's quite sexy.

I'm only sexy when imed board, so I only hope I get BEEP in the post

office queue. Now it is The One and Only Mr Lenny

# Martin Luther King, he had a vision

# And that's a fact # He died so we could see that was

his mission # So don't look back

# There is no division don't you understand?

# The future looks as though it has come around

# And maybe we have finally found our common ground

# We're the children of our father # If you're looking back Obama

# We're black and white America # In 1963 my father married a black

woman # And when they walked the streets

they were in danger # Look what you've done

# But they just kept on walking forward hand in hand

# The future looks as though it has come around hp

# And maybe we have finally found our common ground

# We're the children of our father # If you're looking back Obama

# We're black and white America # We've waited so long

# The future looks as though it has come around

# And maybe we have finally found our common ground

# We're the children of our father # If you're looking back Obama

# We're black and white America # The future looks as though it has

come around # And maybe we have finally found

our common ground # We're the children of the father

# If you're looking back Obama # We're black and white America.

Hash black and white America # Gonna keep a moving forward

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Hello, sir.

Thank you very much for doing that. That is off the album, out since

August, Black and White America. You are drifting into the acting

now. Yes. You were so good in Precious. Thank you very much.

you plan to do more? Yes, I am doing more in between touring. I do

have a day job. But I just did a movie which was coming out in March.

I am going to be doing another one with Lee Daniels who directed

Precious. Congratulations. We are nearly out of time. Thanks to Lenny,

but before we go, we do have time for a story in the Red Chair.

Who is up first? What is your name?. Jordan. Where are you from? London.

Do you have a job? Sports marketing. Nice. It is about my my worst day

ever. I went out for a date on the boat. Would I like the story,

people like the story, we are hoping for a crowd-pleaser. I took

a girl out for dinner on a lovely boat. She chose the most expensive

things on the menu. I'm thinking I'm in. I go in for the kiss, she

had cycled to the restaurant, got to the river, went in for a peck on

the cheek. Go for the second part, but she is adjusting her scarf,

elbows me in the face, I'm in the river. Sheb went off and left me

there. No-one comes out of that story well. That's an all right

story. You can walk, sir. A girl wouldn't do that lightly,

would she. Proper bell end. That is the only reason you fill up on the

food. She's eating a lot, I'm out of here!

She's having pasta, no! Ch One more. Hello. Hi, Graham. My name is Paula.

Where are you from? Whitechapel. I am a teacher. Do you teach

subjects? Primary school teacher. Off you go. I decided to take up

psych link and I cycled the eight miles from Tottenham where I live

to all gate east where I taught. My boyfriend phoned me up to find out

how I got on. Your life has changed so much. He phoned me up to find

out how the ride had gone. I said it's OK but I found Stamford Hill a

challenge. He said to me, what gather were you in I said I had my

track suit, trainers... Oh, dear. If you would like to join us on the

Red Chair, apply at our website. Thank you to all our lovely guests