Episode 8 The Graham Norton Show


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Episode 8

Graham is joined by Hollywood stars Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr, Strictly Come Dancing judge Alesha Dixon, comic great Eddie Izzard and singer Rebecca Ferguson.


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Tonight, I have Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson and I'm in the middle of

:00:09.:00:14.

Victorian London. It is a real pea- souper! LAUGHTER In the fog, I can

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hear the bells of Old London Town. AUDIENCE: Ding dong. I can hear the

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barges on the Thames. AUDIENCE: FOGHORN Hello, love, I

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would do anything for a quid! APPLAUSE

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Oh. Oh! Thank you very much. Good evening. Good evening. Welcome all.

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We've got a great show for you tonight. Star of the new Sherlock

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Holmes film, Hollywood megastar, Robert Downey Jr is here. APPLAUSE

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And Dr Watson, the Oscar-nominated Jude Law is here! APPLAUSE

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Glamorous Strictly judge Alesha Dixon is here. APPLAUSE Globe-

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trotting comedy superstar Eddie Izzard is here! APPLAUSE Plus we'll

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be having music from the wonderful Rebecca Ferguson. APPLAUSE

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Beautiful. Loving her album. She shot to fame on last year's X

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Factor and, on Sunday, it was announced that the winner of this

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year's X Factor was No, it's gone already! I can only apologise.

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We've managed to grab Alesha Dixon just before tomorrow's Strictly

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Final. All of this year's stars are up in Blackpool for the big event.

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Here's Russell Grant arriving. Delighted to welcome back Eddie

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Izzard. Eddie has become a fitness fanatic after his astonishing

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marathon running for Sport Relief. Everywhere he went he was greeted

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by cheering crowds. Well, not there. Surely somewhere? Found two! So

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pleased to have Robert and Jude here.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I know! They can't hear you. They're going to be

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joining us direct from the premiere of their new Sherlock Holmes movie.

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I love all those stories. My favourite was where Holmes gets

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held hostage by a mad man. Do we have a picture of Holmes being held

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hostage by a mad man? There we go. LAUGHTER Run, Holmes, run! Later on

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we will be having music from Rebecca Ferguson. First, Eddie

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Izzard. APPLAUSE And she's all- singing, she's all-dancing, it's

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Alesha Dixon! Sit yourself down. How lovely to see you all. Nice to

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see you. Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law are on their way. Are you

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managing to stay awake? I'm all right. I haven't done quite one of

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these 23 hours and then do a show! Good for you. You say good for him,

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it is fine now. LAUGHTER He will be drooling on your shoulder later!

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You can use my hair as a cushion. What's been going on since I have

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been away? When did you leave? year ago! Oh! LAUGHTER Did you know

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Kate and Wills got married? they in Strictly Come Dancing?

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would be a good booking. I'm not into Royalty, but well done to them.

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I like the fact they had a split and got back together. It means it

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is real. As opposed to arranged by people with hair! You know down the

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years it has been arranged. The Duke of so-and-so will marry the

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Earl of what's it. As a woman, you wouldn't have let your sister wear

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that dress, would you? I would! wouldn't. I would. It is your

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special day, you would have gone, "No!" I'm going to say something -

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listen. I will be really honest now. I thought Pippa looked amazing. I

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don't understand what the fuss is over the bum! APPLAUSE Because I...

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It is like a backlash! No, I love bums. I wish I could have a bum!

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She looked lovely. Beautiful. But she didn't have a bum that made me

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go, "I want Pippa's bum!" Honestly. It was the Royal Wedding, Alesha.

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LAUGHTER The arse on her! LAUGHTER Yeah, but there were a lot of

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people saying that. That is why her bum became the big story. I missed

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the wedding. A lot of things I have missed. Did she do a bum-centric

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move? No. She had a gown that revealed her bum... She didn't have

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to pick up something off the floor? She did. Kate was walking like that.

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And then Pippa would do a... she didn't! APPLAUSE Just that...

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Listen, tomorrow night is a very exciting night in the world of

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Strictly. Yes. Barring shocks, who will win? I think it will be

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between Harry or Chelsee. Yes? Chelsee is a brilliant dancer. A

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lot of the women have a soft spot for Harry. CHEERING There you go.

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You haven't seen any of it? I know that people... Catch up! I know

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people dance. Yes. And there are two of them. Yes. Yes. That's -

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it's - I have no idea. LAUGHTER There should be someone dying, I

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feel. No! Strictly Come Leg Break or something! The ultimate fighter

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and they put ultimate fighter and Strictly Come Dancing. Strictly

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Come Dancing Come Cage Fighting! That is a good idea. That is good.

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I would be watching. It's been a mad series, so - a friend of the

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show - Nancy Dell'Olio... LAUGHTER She was going to... I wish I had

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seen that. So many people have said when she was a guest on the show.

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You couldn't work out what she did. She doesn't know! She is a lawyer!

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She was going to sue you? Well, apparently. What? What happened?

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LAUGHTER Alesha suggested... I was commenting on her dance, she was

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dancing the rumba. In the rumba you should have your knees together. I

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said her knees were too far apart and it wasn't particularly feminine.

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At the end, I did say she should have stayed in the coffin but that

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was a joke! APPLAUSE We have a picture of her. I was joking! With

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the judges, it is never personal. When she said she was going to sue

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me, I thought this is a dancing competition! In a coffin! LAUGHTER

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What was she thinking? This will go well?! LAUGHTER The choreographer

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has put me in a coffin! I know. I know. Not a good look. I didn't

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realise she started in a coffin, I thought that was a phrase - she

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should have stayed in the coffin! That night at Wembley was genius.

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It was wicked. It was a great atmosphere. It was amazing.

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haven't seen the show. I am looking forward to you seeing this picture.

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Feast your eyes on Russell Grant in a cannon! LAUGHTER It's a dancing

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competition. This is Strictly Come Blow Yourself Out Of A Cannon! What

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are the producers doing, we are going to up the game and shoot

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people out of cannons. It doesn't matter how many Strictly Come

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Dancings go by, you will always remember the crazy moments. You are

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- you are the most successful contestant of all time. According

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to? The number of tens? OK. That is nice to know. You knew that!

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didn't. You did! I didn't. You told me backstage. I didn't! She was in

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make-up, don't forget to tell them I got more tens than anybody else.

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She did. She didn't! I hope I hold the record, though. Because you

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were a controversial booking for the thing, has that blown over now?

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Definitely. It's been three years. Three incredibly successful series

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of the show. With anything like that, you have to understand that

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there will be a storm, but you have to weather it. Weren't there people

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outside your house? It was very intrusive. If you are going to be

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in this industry, you have to accept that things don't always go

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your way. You are a judge on a dancing competition? Of course. In

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hindsight, that is what got me through it. You have to keep a

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clear perspective on things and like you say, it is just a dance

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show. Nobody died. LAUGHTER So you have to be positive and look at the

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bigger picture and what is really important in life. Knife fights, I

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have said... LAUGHTER It will bring the element of danger and

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violence... I'm worried now. following through on a line here.

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Eddie, you are back from Australia, that makes you tired. On top of

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that, you are training again? we should train forever. We are all

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hunter-gathers. These bodies were designed. Some of us were probably

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waiters and hopers hoping that food would run into our mouths. We all

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need to go out and try and find that kind of sandwich. LAUGHTER

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now we don't. For the last 2,000 years, we have been saying, "Let's

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watch telly and eat pizza." We have to be out there. That is why I am

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doing barefoot running. Like... Forest Gump. Isn't running bad

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enough? It is not Forest Gump. He didn't know why he was running.

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didn't have a spiritual level? had a chocolate box level! LAUGHTER

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I knew why I was running. It is healthy... Let's remind everyone

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because, listen to this, Sports Relief, you did how many marathons?

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43. In how many days? 51. Wow! Wait, by doing that, Eddie raised almost

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�3 million. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Incredible.

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It wasn't �3 million, it was only �1.8 million. I got told by

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somebody who knows what you did is physically impossible and that

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experts should poke you with a stick. Well, there was an

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interesting point. After I did two, I thought I could stop now and I

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could dine out on the story. Yes, I once ran two marathons in two days.

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I could have done that. Then it went to three, four. After 15, no-

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one believed me. That was the interesting thing. I just ran to

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North Wales from London - yeah, all right, what do you want? It was

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like saying you had eaten a car. You climbed Mount Kilimanjaro,

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which seemed impressive at the time but now doesn't look so good.

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Graham! It is the hardest thing I have done in my life. Try 43

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marathons! LAUGHTER It did look very tough. You had trouble...

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Trouble with everything. You had a peeing incident on the mountain?

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That was the worst part. For guys, it is easy. You can do it anywhere.

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For us, it was difficult. You had to find anywhere. I found somewhere

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private and I was pleased with myself till I nearly fell off the

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side of the mountain and I am grabbing on for dear life. When I

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emerged, "Was I gone long?" I tried to act calm. I was so embarrassed

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because of how it happened. Yes! You know what I mean? Did you go

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all over yourself? No, no! Can you imagine? What's that?! LAUGHTER

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Like the fountains in Vegas! What's that?! APPLAUSE Oh dear. It is

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almost Christmas. It is a lovely time of the year when we like to

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spend time with our families and hope there is something good on the

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telly so we don't have to talk them. The Strictly Christmas Day Special,

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is that all done? All done. It was so bizarre having Christmas trees

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and snow... In the middle of the series? I know. It will be fab.

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There are other Christmas telly treats. They come from you. A new

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version of Treasure Island is on Sky, you play Long John Silver?

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Indeed. I have only seen bits of it. The production values on this thing

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are phenomenal? It is a beautiful version of it. Treasure Island had

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almost got to a place where it was pantomime and I said I wouldn't do

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it unless we did a kick ass version of it. We did the Geoodfellas

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Goodfellas version. It looks like a movie rather than a TV show. Here

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There you are. Come on board, Hawkins. Is this our ship? Here she

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is. Bought and fitted. You could sail her tomorrow. I say she is a

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lovely ship, Sir. Well-chosen. Thank you. I always say a man who

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could choose a good horse could choose a good ship just by looking

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at its arse. You look like you know the way around a horse's arse?

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It is on Sky1 on New Year's Day and the day after. I believe you call

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that January 2nd! LAUGHTER What happened to ooh ar? You never say

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Jim Lad, we took all of that out. And we wanted this to be a down-

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and-dirty - it is like, imagine when Tim Burton did the first

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Batman, he took it into a place with edge and that is what this

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story is. It is a magnificent cast. Having come from this place of

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comedy, it is wonderful to be playing with these people. Also,

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you are in another Christmas treat, Lost Christmas? That goes out on

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18th December on BBC One. What is that about? It is an urban

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fairytale. It is like A Wonderful Life. It is set in Manchester. It's

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a beautiful story. It is quite dark. The family will love it. Sounds

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Christmassy? They will like that. Very good. Now, moving on. Who are

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my next guests tonight? Elementary, my dear Watson, it's the stars of

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the new Sherlock Holmes movie, Robert Downey Jr and Jude Law! Oh!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello. Good to see you. Hello. How are you?

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Very nice to see you. APPLAUSE It is fair to say they are pleased to

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see you. Good. They thought I was lying! Robert Downey Jr and Jude

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Law, I am sure! How was the premiere? Wet. Really? A little wet.

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I always feel vaguely guilty when friends from America come over to

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premieres. They have been in LA and it pours with rain! Jude, lovely

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suit and everything. You look lovely. LAUGHTER Is this your red

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carpet look? Have you changed? Is this what you did the red carpet

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in? Yes. Here is what you don't understand. Am I meant to read

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between the lines? No. You have a beanie on! That's fine. I have been

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scalped for my new - I'm doing a film and I have got the most

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hideous haircut you have ever seen...

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AUDIENCE: Off, off! It won't happen. You will see it in the cinemas next

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year! Yeah! We don't reveal trade secrets around here! Listen,

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Sherlock Holmes is back - it's called Sherlock Holmes: Game of

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Shadows. First one, $524 million. That is phenomenal and a Golden

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Globe for you? Thanks. Could have been either one of us. It was just

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my night! LAUGHTER I wasn't nominated. Well, then, maybe next

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time! LAUGHTER It is always weird talking about a sequel, if I say it

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is better than the first one, it is like I am slagging the first one

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off. It is better? We were more confident this time. More confident.

:19:29.:19:35.

Usually sequels suck. Quite often. This one doesn't. Why are you

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looking at each other? I don't know. It is true, quite often you have to

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be - we are talking about Treasure Island 2 already and we have to be

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careful because I did Treasure Island... Yes. The island with the

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other treasure! Listen, a lot has been made of the chemistry between

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the two of you. Was that just luck? Did you know each other before the

:20:00.:20:06.

first film? No. No. We hadn't met. What we immediately loved was the

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idea of this domestic life and taking these two guys who basically,

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as in the books, lived together and the idea of this domesticity but

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under gunfire. Did you do your laundry? Did you turn the lights

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off? We thought there was something to run with there. We have explored

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it a bit more on this one, with more explosions and running through

:20:31.:20:37.

woods. I loved that bit. Thanks. You hang out, even your days off -

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was it the first movie you would go to the gym before you went to the

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set? What was it that German journalist asked us? Did you pump

:20:48.:20:54.

up before? Every morning! LAUGHTER Sometimes on Sundays, too! I love

:20:54.:20:58.

this guy and we had a great time and I think it translated into this

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kind of, you know how it is, you have a professionalism relationship

:21:02.:21:10.

with somebody and it kind of... Develops. There was an honesty, too.

:21:10.:21:15.

People would say, "Tell us a funny story." All the funny stories are

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in the film. What we tried to do every day was look at the scenario

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and we would try and find a witty way... There is one funny story. I

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will remind you of it and you can tell it! Yes. Go! Chatshow gold!

:21:34.:21:42.

You tell it? I'm not going to tell it. I'll tell it! APPLAUSE And he

:21:42.:21:51.

will! They are shooting this scene where a guy comes in, right, and he

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had forgotten to wear any underwear... And then you take it

:21:56.:22:01.

from there! LAUGHTER Then there was an explosion... No. There was this

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scene where we walk into a room of carnage. There are all these rubber

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bodies strewn away, fake dummy bodies that are in impossible

:22:12.:22:16.

twisted positions. Covered in blood. Robert goes, "Check this out."

:22:16.:22:24.

There is a big hand lying there and just... And an extra went, "By the

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love of God !" And sits up. LAUGHTER That's a good story.

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you work it out with him? Why would I do that?! LAUGHTER It was right

:22:42.:22:48.

before... It scared us, too. problem was, the guy goes, "I can

:22:48.:22:55.

say I have had the honour of having my hand stomped on by the great

:22:55.:22:58.

Sherlock Holmes." In America, it would be, "Lawsuit!" Jude and I

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haven't looked at each other and this just happened. I go back and I

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look at him and he just looked at me like that and I couldn't stop

:23:09.:23:14.

laughing for an hour. I have heard different versions of events

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whether it was Guy Ritchie's idea or whether it was your idea for

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Sherlock Holmes to drag up. Was that yours? It was. Were you

:23:23.:23:30.

surprised at how you looked? You are a beautiful man? Thank you.

:23:30.:23:40.
:23:40.:23:44.

CHEERING It is true. LAUGHTER would probably kick myself out of

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bed. I looked like my sister was on a round of steroids. LAUGHTER

:23:50.:23:55.

trying to think if I was Watson's girl what would be the most

:23:56.:24:05.

unsavoury disguise for Sherlock to show up wearing. There is that

:24:05.:24:11.

picture of you. I don't want to cause a rift. We have a picture of

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Jude as a woman. This is a film that you were in as well! Look at

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Jude. AUDIENCE: Wooh! Now...

:24:25.:24:32.

APPLAUSE That is a good look. I should shave! Not sure how great

:24:32.:24:39.

I feel about that. You look good. Embrace it. Men dressing as women

:24:39.:24:49.
:24:49.:24:51.

is bizarre! LAUGHTER I don't. I am a transvestite. It is a gift. You

:24:51.:24:56.

just are a transvestite! That is under... That's my experience.

:24:56.:25:02.

will let you be the judge. Here you are in action in drag. How many

:25:02.:25:08.

were you expect something Half a dozen. Who are they? A wedding

:25:08.:25:13.

present. Lovely ceremony by the way. John... Just a minute, darling.

:25:13.:25:23.
:25:23.:25:28.

you trust me? No. I should have to do something about that. Who is up

:25:29.:25:38.
:25:39.:25:42.

for it next? Shut the door, John. It had to be done. She's safe now.

:25:42.:25:52.
:25:52.:25:54.

In my own defence I timed it perfectly! APPLAUSE Very good.

:25:54.:25:59.

Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows opened tonight and it is not in 3D.

:25:59.:26:09.
:26:09.:26:09.

I am so pleased. You don't need 3D all the time. Says the man who

:26:09.:26:17.

appeared in Hugo recently! Yes. LAUGHTER You can be in both!

:26:17.:26:20.

Talking of producing things, Robert Downey Jr, you have something

:26:20.:26:25.

special on the way. You are about to be a daddy? Yeah.

:26:25.:26:31.

Congratulations. APPLAUSE When is it going to happen? She is due in

:26:31.:26:37.

February. Oh. She is ten weeks out. How exciting! Thanks. You are on

:26:37.:26:41.

record saying whatever else happens I am not going to reveal the sex of

:26:41.:26:44.

the baby and I won't reveal what it is called. Then a couple of weeks

:26:44.:26:52.

ago, what did you do? I had poor impulse control! LAUGHTER So, I

:26:52.:26:57.

revealed the gender. How did that go when you got home? Swell, it's

:26:57.:27:03.

fine! LAUGHTER She knows I have a problem. When you saying it, did

:27:03.:27:08.

you realise you were doing a wrong thing? I made the decision to and

:27:08.:27:15.

said no, right as I was saying it. You screwed up? Yes. It's been a

:27:15.:27:21.

while! LAUGHTER And the baby is still happening in ten weeks?

:27:21.:27:29.

He's decided to come along anyway! I may have come up to you drunk at

:27:29.:27:36.

a party and may have already said this. I'm not sure. I loved

:27:36.:27:43.

Families. Families was so good... CHEERING Well done that person!

:27:43.:27:49.

Families was genius. Did you not enjoy it? Oh God! There you are.

:27:49.:27:58.

Oh! I'm the one on the right! LAUGHTER Earlier, you were in the

:27:59.:28:02.

National Youth Theatre? When I was about 13. I used to do that

:28:02.:28:07.

alongside school. People still speak of your performance in

:28:07.:28:17.

Bodywork. Do they? Yes. Really? Who, what people? Me! LAUGHTER I played

:28:17.:28:22.

Adrenaline. How do you know this stuff? I know these things. You

:28:22.:28:29.

were marvellous. Thanks. Did you see it? No! How do you know? I'm a

:28:29.:28:38.

chatshow host! I say this stuff! LAUGHTER Adrenaline is a character?

:28:38.:28:46.

It was written... As opposed to a liquid? It was set inside a body so

:28:46.:28:50.

- the National Youth Theatre, all these kids, everyone plays

:28:51.:29:00.
:29:01.:29:03.

different parts. Who played Penis?! LAUGHTER He was 18. Very tall.

:29:03.:29:08.

did other jobs, too. You worked in a clothes shop? I worked - that was

:29:08.:29:13.

my first job out of school, selling T-shirts. We used to - yeah. It was

:29:13.:29:18.

in the summer. It was - not sure if I'm allowed to say. It was the Hark

:29:18.:29:26.

Rock Cafe. You can't say that! can! I sold T-shirts for a summer.

:29:26.:29:32.

Didn't you get bored? People would ask for two black, two white. What

:29:32.:29:37.

kind of black? Jet black? Off black? Very dark black? Show me the

:29:37.:29:44.

black. Jet black! I'll have a jet black! Terrible way of entertaining

:29:44.:29:49.

yourself. In terms of - you grew up in a showbiz house. You were going

:29:49.:29:57.

to end up in showbiz? I guess so. I tried sales. What did you do?

:29:57.:30:06.

shoes. LAUGHTER That is inverted sales. That's receives. I have had

:30:06.:30:11.

a bunch of regular jobs. I think I had sticky fingers. Is that why the

:30:11.:30:15.

jobs didn't last that long? I have kept jobs for a while. Depends on

:30:15.:30:23.

how long it takes for them to find out! Alesha, you haven't kept jobs

:30:23.:30:29.

very long? No. Sticky fingers? But boring jobs. Cleaning schools.

:30:29.:30:32.

They lasted a week. That's as long as I would last. Then you would

:30:32.:30:39.

walk? I would go. You do a bit of MC-ing? Yes. LAUGHTER I'm out of

:30:39.:30:45.

here, that kind of thing! I was MC- ing on the side. I was getting more

:30:45.:30:50.

money for the MC-ing... You are so greedy! It is really hard if you

:30:50.:30:53.

are going to be a creative performer, you are making stuff out

:30:53.:30:58.

of nothing, you are making things that happen, it is difficult doing

:30:58.:31:03.

sensible jobs because you tend to talk to people - I remember working

:31:03.:31:08.

in Covent Garden in a restaurant for three weeks. I had to give it

:31:08.:31:12.

in because the guy said, "You will never become an actor!" I thought,

:31:12.:31:17.

"I can't stand here talking to you." I wanted us to do stuff. I

:31:17.:31:21.

grew up in a Britain that I felt nothing - you couldn't do anything

:31:21.:31:27.

and I wanted to do everything. And doing gigs in French which I did

:31:27.:31:32.

this year. It was the same at school. I wanted to act and they

:31:32.:31:36.

just laughed. Absolutely. I told a guy that I was going to go to

:31:36.:31:41.

London and get an agent. He laughed in my face. I thought that is not

:31:41.:31:44.

positive. When you are young and you are at school, and you say you

:31:44.:31:51.

want to sing or act, it sounds ludicrous. Your dad was director

:31:51.:31:58.

and producer? Yes. Was it easy to believe going into it? He didn't

:31:58.:32:02.

encourage me. If you wanted to do acting, did you feel it wasn't

:32:02.:32:06.

going to be a bizarre idea? didn't think about it. I told my

:32:06.:32:11.

friends I was going to be hugely successful and they should keep an

:32:11.:32:17.

eye out for me. If they needed me, I would be doing the tables at the

:32:17.:32:23.

restaurant! Wasn't it Sting who was one of your customers? He was. Here

:32:23.:32:30.

is what happened. I'm doing the tables, it was a Sunday, and I look

:32:30.:32:34.

up and I guess like between - he was going to see some theatre or

:32:34.:32:39.

something - he had a meal. I went over. I served him some tea. Then

:32:39.:32:45.

he was done. I said, "May I take that?" He said, "No, it's fine. You

:32:45.:32:50.

you can leave it right here." He looked at me and said, "I realised

:32:50.:32:54.

you and I will be close friends one day." That is the way I used to

:32:54.:33:02.

think. All right. I will leave it there. LAUGHTER And now... Are you

:33:02.:33:12.

close friends? We are very, very close. Very good. APPLAUSE Well,

:33:12.:33:15.

look at you all now, a veritable sofa of stars. And now we're going

:33:15.:33:19.

to meet a new star in the making, cos it's time for music. In a

:33:19.:33:22.

moment, we'll be hearing tonight's stories in the Big Red Chair, but

:33:22.:33:24.

first, performing Nothing's Real But Love, please welcome Rebecca

:33:24.:33:34.
:33:34.:33:49.

# Standing in a line # Wonder why it don't move

:33:49.:33:59.

# Tryna get a hand # Watching people break the rules

:33:59.:34:03.

# And maybe the man in charge, doesn't like my face

:34:03.:34:06.

# But then this world's not always good

:34:06.:34:13.

# And nothing's real but love # Nothing's real but love

:34:13.:34:23.
:34:23.:34:25.

# No money, no house, no car, can beat love

:34:25.:34:33.

# They watch us open-mouthed # As we joke around like fools

:34:33.:34:40.

# See who can be the worst # Watch what I can do

:34:40.:34:47.

# But then the door gets slammed, slammed right in my face

:34:47.:34:49.

# And I guess this world's not always good

:34:49.:34:56.

# And nothing's real but love # Nothing's real but love

:34:57.:35:03.

# No house, no car, no job, can beat love

:35:03.:35:09.

# It won't fill you up # No money, no house, no car, is

:35:09.:35:18.

like love # La la la la la la

:35:18.:35:28.

# Yeaaah # I put it all away

:35:28.:35:33.

# Holding it down for a rainy day # But what if that day don't come

:35:33.:35:41.

# I need love # No money, no house, no car, is

:35:41.:35:49.

like love # It don't fill you up

:35:49.:35:52.

# It won't build you up # It won't fill you up

:35:52.:35:58.

# It's not love! # And nothing's real but love

:35:58.:36:03.

# No money, no house, no car, is like love

:36:03.:36:10.

# Nothing's real but love # No money, no house, no car, is

:36:10.:36:20.
:36:20.:36:27.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Rebecca Ferguson, ladies and

:36:27.:36:36.

gentlemen. Come and join me. Oh beautiful! That was gorgeous. Mwah!

:36:36.:36:41.

Come and have a seat. There you go. Eddie, Alesha, Jude, Robert. All

:36:41.:36:51.
:36:51.:36:57.

good. That is off the new album Heaven. It is out now. It's

:36:57.:37:03.

brilliant. Congratulations. Thank you. Very glad you co-wrote - did

:37:03.:37:13.
:37:13.:37:14.

you co-write the whole thing? She is not an idiot! APPLAUSE

:37:14.:37:19.

does help! I know you didn't win, but that is a good thing. To me, it

:37:19.:37:24.

has been. Winning is not great. is the real deal! Winning is the

:37:24.:37:31.

beginning of the end! Won a Golden Globe, leave it! And the film was

:37:31.:37:41.
:37:41.:37:41.

very successful... Thanks, pal. Very nearly the end! It is nearly

:37:41.:37:46.

time for us to go. We have time for a story or two in the Red Chair.

:37:46.:37:52.

Who is up first? Hello, small person. Hi. You will go flying!

:37:52.:37:58.

LAUGHTER What is your name? Beth. Where are you from? Nottingham.

:37:58.:38:05.

what do you do? I live at uni in London. Studying? English and

:38:05.:38:10.

American literature. What do you hope to do with that? LAUGHTER

:38:10.:38:20.
:38:20.:38:22.

not too sure. OK. Right, delight us with your story? OK. Everybody who

:38:22.:38:28.

knows me knows I love Robert Downey Jr more than life itself. I was

:38:28.:38:31.

walking down Regent Street today and I saw a bus with the Sherlock

:38:31.:38:35.

Holmes poster on the side. I got so distracted by the photo that I

:38:35.:38:40.

walked into a road, straight into a woman on a bike and knocked her

:38:40.:38:43.

completely off balance. I don't think she was happy. I did explain

:38:43.:38:50.

why I was so unfocused. I think she let me off. Did she look like

:38:50.:38:57.

this?! LAUGHTER I like the way strangers are getting hurt because

:38:57.:39:03.

of this film. That poor woman cycling. Terrible. Who is next?

:39:03.:39:09.

Hello. Hello. What is your name? Valerie. Valerie. Where do you

:39:09.:39:16.

live? Surrey. CHEERING They are loving Surrey. Off you go. OK. A

:39:16.:39:25.

few years ago, I went to Center Parc in France with my husband and

:39:25.:39:31.

son. We did a detour to the zoological gardens near Paris. I

:39:31.:39:36.

was driving a panda car which was a soft-top. When we got there they

:39:36.:39:44.

said it was OK to go in in this car. Yes? We went into the place, and

:39:44.:39:52.

went into the bear enclosure and... What?! You went into a bear

:39:52.:39:56.

enclosure? Yes. This was the bear. I don't know if you can see that?

:39:56.:40:01.

That is a proper bear. A proper bear. And it came towards the car

:40:01.:40:08.

and then it climbed on to the car and the top of the car started to

:40:08.:40:15.

bulge in and we all got scared. LAUGHTER My husband opened the

:40:15.:40:23.

window slightly to throw some nuts out... What?! And then it didn't

:40:23.:40:30.

work. And then it kind of still clung on. And I was rocking the car

:40:30.:40:36.

backwards and forwards to try and move the bear. And eventually I did

:40:36.:40:40.

this. It got hold of the car again and it was hanging on to the wing

:40:40.:40:47.

mirror. And then eventually I managed to shake it off again and

:40:47.:40:51.

my husband opened the door and threw the whole of the nuts out of

:40:51.:40:56.

the car and the bear was distracted so I close ds the window and we

:40:56.:41:01.

drove -- closed the window and we drove and got out of the enclosure.

:41:01.:41:04.

We realised the wing mirror was missing so we thought well, what

:41:04.:41:12.

shall we do? We debated. At that point, I felt where's my son?

:41:12.:41:16.

LAUGHTER Wing mirror fell off... was hiding on the backseat under

:41:16.:41:21.

anything that he could find not to look to see what was going on.

:41:21.:41:27.

Anyway, we went back in to look for the wing mirror. No! You idiot! You

:41:27.:41:37.
:41:37.:41:40.

are an idiot! APPLAUSE The kid got out the window? No. They went back

:41:40.:41:44.

in! LAUGHTER Robert was there to distract the bear! There is

:41:44.:41:50.

something that - that story was going absolutely nowhere for so

:41:50.:41:54.

long until the bear - so bring the bear closer in the story first. She

:41:54.:41:58.

should have got that out. You will see her backstage. I want to know

:41:58.:42:05.

what happened. The kid's lost? Lost somewhere in the car? Can you get

:42:06.:42:12.

her back in the chair? We want the end of the story. OK. APPLAUSE

:42:12.:42:20.

this allowed? You are not going to tip me out again? I promise!

:42:20.:42:28.

LAUGHTER We remember where we were in the story. You decided to go

:42:28.:42:35.

back in the enclosure. LAUGHTER look for the wing mirror. Yes!

:42:35.:42:41.

Where's the kid? The kid's in the backseat. He's on the backseat. We

:42:41.:42:44.

couldn't see the wing mirror and the bears had gone. We thought,

:42:44.:42:49.

well, if we meet up with the French traffic police how do we explain

:42:49.:42:54.

the wing mirror? They won't believe us. So we left. And my son kind of

:42:54.:42:59.

appeared from the back and I said, "Well, look at this way, you can

:42:59.:43:09.

think of the Panda outwitting a brown bear!" APPLAUSE I did promise.

:43:09.:43:19.
:43:19.:43:20.

You can walk. Quickly! Walk quickly. Well done, everyone. If you'd like

:43:20.:43:24.

to join us on the show and have a go in the Red Chair, you can

:43:24.:43:28.

contact us via our website at this address. Thank you to my guests,

:43:28.:43:30.

Rebecca Ferguson, Eddie Izzard, Alesha Dixon, Jude Law and Robert

:43:30.:43:34.

Downey Jr. Join me next week for a festive show which will include

:43:34.:43:37.

Graham is joined by Hollywood stars Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr, who discuss their new Sherlock Holmes movie; Strictly Come Dancing judge Alesha Dixon; comic great Eddie Izzard; and singer Rebecca Ferguson, who peforms Nothing's Real But Love.