Episode 14 The Graham Norton Show

Sutherland, but a great day for heading into the hills or going out

and about generally, if you don't mind that Jill. Winds easing off

through the afternoon. Feeling quite pleasant here, temperatures

at six or seven degrees typically. Three or four in the east, adding

in the wind chill it will feel more like temperatures below freezing.

Fantastic rugby weather. Tomorrow afternoon I will be torn between

the sofa and getting into the sunshine. A chilly wind at

Twickenham, but winds light at the Millennium Stadium.

This ridge comes in on Saturday evening, briefly dipping into frost.

But temperatures rising again as the weather front topples in,

producing cloudier skies for Sunday. Notice temperatures significantly

higher, perhaps even 10 or 11 degrees, across the south-west.

As we go into next week, very strong winds for a time across the

north of the UK, but turning gradually to the north. It will get

colder again, we are likely to see snow and certainly widespread

Apology for the loss of subtitles for 151 seconds

overhead frost. More details online, Tonight I'm talking to the new film

about Alfred Hitchcock. Let's start CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh. Too kind. Ladies and gentlemen, we have got a frighteningly good

show for you tonight. She is acting royalty, Dame Helen Mirren is here.

Yes, she is! Plus, we've got two stars from the Knocked Up sequel,

This Is 40. Paul Rudd is on the show. With him is his co-star,

Leslie Mann, ladies and gentlemen. Plus, we've got music from the

fantastic Little Mix. Little Mix. Little Mix. Little Mix won X fact -

- X Factor last year. Simon Cowell loved them because of the sound

they generate. (TillRINGS). Paul and Leslie appeared together in the

comedy Knocked Up all about someone who was surprised about delighted

to find out they were having a baby. Elton has two kids now. Elijah and

Zachary. I saw a picture of Zach ree recently and he really does

have Elton's hair. Paul and Leslie's new movie is all about

turning 40. You know particularly for women it can be hard hitting

their 40s. Worry about their looks and can they find a man who still

fancies them? Yes, they can. Dame Helen will be here chat being her

new film where she plays the wife of Alfred Hitchcock. Steady girls.

The movie was set when Hitchcock was making Psycho. Such a brilliant

film. Best-known for the iconic shower scene. There's Janet Leigh.

What could she have seen in a hotel bathroom that would have scared her

that much? Don't mind me, love. Helen has been in so many great

movies and winning an Oscar when she standard in The Queen. She does

look a lot like her Her Majesty. -- Her Majesty. Here is Helen with a

corgi. Here is the Queen with a corgi. Here is Helen meeting Tony

Blair. Here is the Queen meeting Tony Blair. Spot on. Here is Helen

with some bananas. Surely we haven't. OK. Here is the Queen with

some bananas. Phew. Let's get some guests on. Later, we will be having

music from Little Mix. But first, man alive, it's Leslie Mann. You

sit down there. Ruddy hell, it's Paul Rudd, everybody.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Sit yourself down. Welcome all. Now,

have you just come back from America, Helen? No. I'm working on

a play here. When did you get your star on the Walk of Fame? That was

three weeks ago. An age ago. are you beside, with? I'm very

close to Sylvester Stallone. Nice. It's a broad church. Are you guys...

Do you have the star bit? No. yet. Any minnow. I don't know.

Little Mix are on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The big one, which is

such an honour. You are in the Chie -- Chinese Theatre. I am. Are you

double jointed? I wanted to do everything back to front. It looked

like my hands and feet were weirdly back to front. I did. I crossed my

legs over like this. I will show off now. I don't know if I can do.

It I crossed my legs over like this. I wanted my hands to go like that.

Oh! That wasn't a very good idea. Mystery marks. Cut that bit out.

Mystery marks in the cement. What is that? I want people to look at

that going, "that's weird, how did that work?". I'm there and

incredibly proud. Paul, you have an affinity to Britain, is your family

all British? Yes, both my parents are from London. You are ours! Yeah.

I'm the first American in my family. So... I have been coming here my

whole life. I feel very, very much at home. This is old hat. No sense

of excitement at all? No, not at all. This is very exciting. Even

more so. Even more so. Where is your family from. Which part of the

world in England? My dad was Edgware. London boy. That got an,

"oh !" My mum was from Surrey. Chiswick. I was born there.

Surbiton is huge. It's lovely to have you here Leslie. Why you are,

didn't a psychic tell you not to travel? Yes, a psychic told me not

to fly, text and drive or drive on curvy roads. While texting. Sounds

like a very bad psychic. Don't jump off a cliff. She really scared me.

I didn't want to leave the house. Now, I feel like, you know, like I

want to rebell against the psychic and just do all these things and be

like, "screw you, psychic" I'm going to stphrie. I feel if I talk

about it enough it won't happen. You have to fly home yet! So far,

so good. This programme is dedicated to... I'm glad I'm on a

different flight. I thought, Paul, you would look more - you are

preparing for anchor man. I was wondering where you were going for

that. More clean cut. Or a little more... Put together. The anchor

man hair is quite an event. start shooting Anchor Man 2. I'm

trying to recapture that, unfortunately. Is that all your

hair All my hair, sideburns. did they get it so... Fabulous?

That was all real. I have been trying... We are going to start

shooting in a few weeks. Are you all back together in it? Yeah.

it true the last time you were on the show you did a spoiler for the

first one? The last time, yes, we spoke and I was on your show, I was

here talking about Anchor Man I had this story, I say in the movie that

I have a nickname for my... So weird to say it out loud. A

nickname for my penis. I also have a nickname for my testicles, the

left one is James Westfall the right one is Dr Kenneth Noisewater.

Quite a mouthful! You said it, not me! James Westfall was my roommate

in college. I thought I will say that, and I'm not going to tell him.

When he sees the movie on opening day, which I knew he would, that

will be a nice surprise for him. Yeah. So I told the story, not

really putting it together that the show would air the night before the

movie opened, the show aired and everybody started calling James,

did you watch Graham Norton he was talking about you. I felt I was

carrying a football and fumbled on the one-yard line. I timed it

poorly. A lot of guests forget they are going to be on television. I

forget I'm going to air. It seems so unlikely. We have two great

films, Hitchcock and This Is 40. Helen, Hitchcock. Congratulations

on the nominations. BAFTA is the next one. Is that in a week and a

bit? Sunday week. Is the gown choosen? Yes, it is. All about the

gown. Nothing else matters. That is all it has become about. It is a

lot of pressure? It is. It's unfair for us girls. So uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable and stress making. They tell you look crap anyway.

After all that. After all that, exactly. You play the wife of the

great Alfred Hitchcock, Alma. It's not a biopic it's a specific point

in time? Yes. It's the making of psycho. Originally, the film was

called Hitchcock and the making of Psycho. It's about that period of

time. They made this movie that nobody wanted to make. They

believed in. They mortgaged their house to pay for. It they paid for

it themselves. Boy, did that pay off in the end, big time! Yeah.

It's an interesting point in a marriage. Interesting point in an

artist's life, a film-makers life. It's an interesting point of film

history as well. In an extraordinary kind of thing, you

met Hitchcock? I did, yes, when I was very, very, very young. A child.

A child. A child. No, when he came to England, London, to make his

last movie Frenzy. Was it his last movie? Yes, I was an actress sent

off to meet him. He hated me. Absolutely didn't like me at all. I

didn't like him either. How did that manifest itself? In what way.

How did you know he didn't like you? I don't know. He just wasn't...

He was just so the of Hitchcockish. He was big, sitting behind his desk.

I was very intimidated. Anyway, I was arrogant and stupid. I didn't

realise he was a great genius. wasn't for you? No, I wanted to be

in move with Jack Nicholson. I didn't want to do a Hitchcock movie.

I mean, I was an idiot. Obviously, Anthony Hopkins does the full Iron

Lady treatment. That is incredible. Pros thet -- prosthetics make-up is

incredible what they do. Absolutely amazing. I mean, I was this close

to him. I couldn't see... Absolutely real. Incredible.

you forget? The make-up artist got nominated for an Academy Award.

Quite rightly. Would you forget he was in there? No. Totally. I would

forget that Tony was in there. At the end of the day, he did this...

He did this alarming thing. By then he was frustrated with the make-up

he put his hand up and rip it off his face. Like one of those horror

movies. There would be Anthony Hopkins. It was like, "what the

hell are you doing here?" You are in this movie, really? He was

Anthony Hopkins became a stranger. I only knew him as Hitchcock.

opens here on 8th February, next Friday. We have got a scene, this

is you and Hitch discussing the plot of their new movie Psycho.

Think of the shock value. Killing off your leading lady half way

through. I mean, you are intrigued, are you not, my dear? Come on,

admit it. Admit it? Actually, contingency's a huge mistake. You

shouldn't wait until half way through, kill her off after 30

minutes. Well! That is all true. I mean, she was

very hands on in the making of the film? All of his movies, yes,

absolutely. From early script development through the shoots,

through the costumes and through the casting. Not so much she wasn't

on the set. She did do what we show in the movie during the making of

Psycho she did go in in and took over. When he was shooting she

would stay back. One of the films that drew you to the fact that you

are married to a very successful director? Yes. It made me

understand certain elements in the script. I mean, when I first went

to Hollywood and got with Taylor I completely, I don't know if you are

experienced this, Leslie, people walking through you to get to your

husband. Because the great and famous, in my case it was Taylor

Hackford when I arrived. In Hollywood people can be pretty

brutal. It's a strange relationship. In what way? I can relate. Leslie

Mann is married to Judd Apatow. You work with Judd a lot? Yes. We have

worked together, yeah... Has he directed you? Yes. It's weird. It's

a different relationship. What happens at home. What happens there.

It's really different thing. I found when I was being directed by

Taylor I moved towards the cast. It was like, you know, I'm with them.

I'm not with you. Right. These are my peeps. You're not my peep.

you have been directing all day to come home it must be hard to stop

and not be like, "not like that, we're losing light, first

positions." Do you have to remind the director when he comes home he

is not the director any more? in general. I sometimes do. Yeah,

Judd gets really bossy. I have to... And demanding. Yeah, I do have to

shut that down when we get home. feel like I know so much about your

live. Judd has written and directed This Is 40. It's called a sort of

sequel to Knocked Up. We remember you from Knocked Up. Where is the

couple now? Obviously about to turn 40. It's about five years later. We

are turning 40 within the same week. We kind of... Are going through a

little crisis. A little crisis. Reassessing things. The kids are

older. We, kind of, look at it as an opportunity to, reevaluate. Are

we doing a good job as parents? Are we doing a good job as a married

couple. Are we doing a good job in relating with our own parents and

what can we do to make things better. Working on the script you

did it through your own marriage, is that right? Sometimes we would

have little arguments through the characters, Pete and Debbie. Saying

things through the character that is we might be afraid to say to one

another. OK. Things like that. was Debbie I maigt say this...

Judd might say, "wouldn't it be fun to have a scene where, you know,

Debbie is really crazy and controlling?" I would say, "yeah,

it would be create to have a scene where Pete admits that he's a big

dick." We would do that. Did you get a chance to put in the things

that annoy you about Judd? A lot of things annoy me about Judd. Don't

they, after a long time of being married? The coughing thing didn't

make it in? The morning snot? that every day? Every day. He say

it is's allergies. My husband does the same thing. Disgusting!

second he wakes up it's like a Fawcett of snott. He snorts and

snorts and doesn't think to blow his nose until I tell him. He will

take a paper towel from the kitchen. Not use the whole paper towel. He

will rip-off a little corner and blow his nose into the bit of paper

towel. It's not big enough to hold it all. He will take the corner of

it and clean up in there. Then, it starts all over again. It's like

never-ending. I don't know what that. Is I feel like there is

something he should take or a surgery he should get or something

to cure that. Or is that... That is never going to go away? It's an

infection. Is it? It sounds unbearable. I would leave him. I

would pack up the kids and get out. Leave him some tissues and just go.

Yeah. But he is also a genius. A snotty genius. The other thing

about my husband, he is absolutely finds it impossible put dishes in

the dish dish washer. He cannot do. It very weird. There is the sink.

There is the dish washer. He will put things in the sink and just

won't put them in the dish washer. I take them out and I put them in

the dish washer. I think, no, he has to learn. I take them out of

the dish washer and put them in the sink. I think, I can't stand them

in the sink. Put them in the dish washer. No, if you leave them in

the dish washer he will never learn that he didn't put them in the dish

washer. I take them in and out 20 times. Is he really hairy? Is he

what? Is he what, hairy. Hairy? Taylor? Not particularly. Since we

are complaining about husbands. Judd very hairy? Very hairy. Do you

trim him? Yes. I don't know why I do. This I want to pass it on to my

daughter, teach her to do. It I have to shave his... His His...

Quickly now. His neck. His neck. OK. But. There is a special trick to it.

You have to do like a fade. So it's not a line because then it will be

like a hair shirt. You have to do like clean from the bottom of the

hair line. Blend it in. Yeah. Then blend. Yeah. Fashionable look these

days. I know. Anything else. are doing well. You should get

someone in to do that. Like the gardener! Leave him on the lawn,

face down. They will take care of it. Right, This Is 40 opens on the

14th February what an a lovely inexpensive Valentine's Day treat

for somebody. This is a clip. This is the two of you in bed having a

nice time. Why do we fight. makes no sense at all. It makes no

sense. I feel like you want to kill me. I do want to kill you.

would you do that? I would poison your cupcake that is you pretend

not to eat every day and put enough to slowly weaken you. I would enjoy

our last few months together. too. You would be weak and sweet I

would take care of you while killing you. You can still surprise

me. I thought you would do me with one swell swoop of poison, but you

could extend it over a series of months. Have you thought about

killing me? Sure. A wood chipper. wood chipper. Wow. Did you see

Fargo? Yeah. Phew! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Happy Valentine's Day's, hon. Sitting there going, "oh, this is

our lives." it's all good. Your husband is directing you, he keeps

in every movie encouraging you to cop off with other people. I know!

What is that about? I don't know. He does encourage that. Fascinating

psychological study. I heard you talking and you were honest about

how excited you were to kiss ZachEfron. Yeah. What a great thing.

Not in a creepy way. We all get it. He was very young at the time. My

daughter... He was weak. I could pin him down. Oh. I had a steamy

sex scene in Love Ranch that Taylor directed. How was that? You know

what those scenes are like. They are so technical. There are 120

people on the set anyway. You know, it's... It's something... No, don't

put your leg there. Put your hand here. I will shoot it this way. It

just becomes just, what is the word, a mathematical thing to work out. I

know that the actor was absolutely mortified, you know. He was really

worried about it. Of course, it was absolutely fine. It must be, kind

of, in terms of going to work, it's quite a nice thing to do, isn't it,

sometimes? Here is the thing. get to kiss a Hollywood actor.

hear actors saying what you say, it's technical, there is a crew.

That is just what we say. I say, "that's not true at all, it's

awesome. It's not too bad." Your kids were thrilled about the Zac

Efron thing? Zac kissed me. My daughter Maude ran up to me and

licked my face. That was so she could taste Zac's spit. His minty

spit. His minty spit. Helen, you talked about your least favourite

kisser was. Who was your best? Please, don't go there! The best

kisser. Oh, gosh, what a difficult question. You mean stage, theatre...

I mean acting kiss? It's all kissing! No, it's not all kissing.

That is what we... You know, we so often as actors, more in the

theatre, also in auditions for film things. You walk in and, OK, and

you have to immediately be very intimate if it's not kissing it's

touching, hugging with someone you have met 30 seconds ago. We get to

be able to do that. Things that other people would just feel so

embarrassed and weird. We have to be able to go there very quickly.

It's really hard. It's really awful, isn't it? Just terrible. It's

strange. It's like you are done kissing somebody. It's like, "hi,

I'm Paul." it's weird. Paul, your longest screen kiss was with

someone unlikely? The most kisses I had in a movie was with your hero

Jack Nicholson. You kissed Jack. Many, many times. Can I lick your

face? Please, please do. Yeah, I was... He played my faither in a

film called How Do You Know. The relationship we had, James Brooks

wanted was that of a loving father and son. No matter what stress we

were under or conflict in our relationship was we would kiss each

other, hello and goodbye. James Brooks films a scene 730 -- 70

times. On the lips? Yes. It was great. When I first met him I was

going to rehearse with Jack Nicholson, I was very nervous. I

had never seen him in person. I was a huge fan. He walked in, looked at

me, grabbed me. Do it to me. Do it. Wait, wait. So you don't get

lipstick on you. This is... This is what Jack Nicholson did. You are me,

I will be JackNicholson. Excuse me, CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

. You have lipstick on you. Thank you, very much. I feel bad for

Leslie. You don't want my disease. You have a cold, back off lady!

old were you? This was just a couple of years ago. It was one of

the greatest moments of my life. Yeah, I bet it was. Now,...

mine! And mine right there. Now, Helen we must talk about your

return to the stage. Oh, yes. Right. What? Yeah. It's quite soon. You

are back on the stage in the West End The Audience. It's your return

to the role of Her Majesty the Queen. Absolutely. You are doing a

big span of time? The whole, you know, not the whole of her reign.

Told through the story of this audience. It's the audience she has

with all Prime Ministers. Churchill was her first Prime Minister. It's

told, it goes backwards and towards in time. We start with Churchill

and go to Cameron. It gets all the way to Cameron? Cameron. Yes.

Because it goes over the space of time. It is on the stage. What are

they doing? Quick changes. Amazingly fast changes that can

happen. I mean, obviously somewhat to do with acting. Changes that

happen within, hopefully, 15 seconds. So, theatre magic. I think

I read you in an interview talking about how her voice. You think of a

Queen as a constant. Her voice has changed? Absolutely from when she

was with Churchill. She talked like that (high pitched tone) I did too

when I was about 22. I talked terribly like that. It was the way

you spoke in those days. Drama school thing. Drama school thing

thing. All of our voices change. Hers has changed substantially

(deep voice) now she talks like that! In terms of approaching the

stage, do you still suffer from stage fright? Yes. Of course. You

have just come off the stage, I understand. Yeah. Even up until the

last show I would get nervous to start. That, "five minutes,

places." Hearing "places" is the worst feeling in the world when you

are waiting in the wings. Have you done stage, Leslie? I haven't. We

were nervous to come out here. Every time you go before an

audience is nerve-wracking. People have told me about things that have

gone wrong on stage and gone wrong in the audience. The place you did

Grace. There was an audience incident what a problem. You may

pray this doesn't happen. Tell me what. I was about to start a

monologue I heard some, there were three of us on stage. There was a

commotion. I thought, did somebody's cell phone go off? The

commotion dies down. It didn't die down. It was getting louder. People

started arguing and saying things in full voice. In the audience?

the audience. I didn't know whether or not to stop the play. I thought

maybe somebody... It was a medical emergency. I didn't... I didn't

know what to do. I just kept talking and pretended it wasn't

happening. It was very clear that I was getting thrown, as we all were.

Michael Shannon, who was in the play with me, he got to his section

and started screaming his lines in the direction of the noise. It had

been going on for a full minute. He is such a terrifying figure anyway.

He scared everybody. It got very quiet. I then, at the end of the

scene, went off stage to ask what happened. It turned out that

somebody in the front row was drunk and went "yuk" and threw up on 20

people. The commotion were the people standing up covered in vomit.

Oh. Wondering how they were going to... Disgusting. Oh, mymaltessers

are warm! It was a first. Right. It's time for music now. These

girls have gone from prize-winners to top charters. Performing their

new single, Change Your Life. # She captures her reflection and

she throws the mirror to the floor # Her imagine is distorted

screaming, "is it worth it any more?"

# No-oh-oh # Are you scared of the things that

they might put you through? # Does it make you wanna hide the

inner you? # You're not the only one, so let

them criticise # You're untouchable when you

realise # Ooooh

# Change, change your life, take it # We're gonna stick together, Noel'

get through it all # Change, change your life, take it

# Take it all # You're gonna use it to become

what you've always known # Become what you've always known

# His body starts to flicker like nobody wants to know his name

# Just another soul with feelings but nobody's there to feel the pain

# No, no, no # They can rip you, bring you down,

down to their size # But they will never get to the

heart you hold inside # Oh-oh

# You're not the only one, so let them criticise

# Ooh # You're untouchable when you

realise # Ooh-oh-oh

# Change, change your life, take it # Take it all

# We're gonna stick together, Noel' get through it all

# I Noel' get through it all # Change, change your life, take it

# Take it all # You're gonna use it to become

what you've always known # Become what you've always known

# Change, change your life, take it # Change your life and take it all

# Change, change your life, take it # Change your life and take it all

# You got the right to show the world

# Something never seen # We wanna hear you scream it out

# You're not alone # Oh, whoa, oh, yeah

# Change, change your life, take it # Take it all

# We're gonna stick together, Noel' get through it all

# Change, change your life, take it # Change your life and take it all

# You're gonna use it to become what you've always known

# Become what you've always known. Beautiful. Little Mix, everybody.

Come and join me. If you squeeze up. Two in the front, two at the back.

Look at you. Disabled by fashion! There you go. Two in upper class

and two in premium and economy. Just wash in, wash out. Are you

feeling the cold? I'm all right. Nice beanie hat. Two at the back,

you can hardly see there over the big hat. We didn't expect a hat.

That islet third single off the album DNA which has done so well.

Thank you. APPLAUSE

You and, more importantly Simon Cowell, must be thrilled. For Uncle

Simon you are on tour now? We are on tour. It's amazing. It's

incredible that it is your tour? That is what is strange. To see

everybody there for us was overwhelminging much we cried.

were like, "they are all there for us." amazing. How very showbusiness.

You were a DJ, Paul? Well, you know when you say I was a DJ, that

sounds a cool thing. I wasn't a cool DJ. Would you have played that

song? That is a floor filler. I was a DJ for Bar Mitzvahs. Are you all

right there? I'm fine. I'm fine! Shall we move up. It was a while

ago. I was more MCHammer. If I was doing it now, for sure. Yes. Have

you ever heard of MCHammer. What about Right Said Fred? No. That was

really big. You have never heard of him? Heard of him. Oh, yeah. Wow.

It's like you have come on to make us all feel old. We are all having

a great night and we are like - we are so old! Before we go tonight,

let's have a visit to the big Red Chair. Who have we got? Oh, they

love you. What is your name? Samantha. What do you do? I work in

a GP surgery. Doing what? Reception work mainly. Mainly. Yeah. Yeah. A

bit of security as well! Yeah. Yeah. Lovely. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. You there,

move! All right. Off you go with your story. So, I went for my very

first Hollywood wax a few years ago. Little Mix have been for some! OK.

Little Mix are... It's a Hollywood wax. Is that when they put a "H" in

it? It's everything, isn't it? that when they put a, "H" in it?

everything is off. I don't know much about down there. A "H" will

be hard to do! Did someone give you an, "H." You went for a Hollywood

wax. Does anyone know what it is? No. Leslie lives in Hollywood he

doesn't know what it is. Basically, they remove every hair from down

there. Everything? Everything is gone. Everything absolutely gone.

Everything. Everything! They clear the area. Yeah. I'm there laying on

the bed. She is ripping way at me. I'm gripping the bed with physical

pain. Of course. She's finally getting to the very end. I'm at the

end of my tether and I peed myself. Oh! I don't know whether it's a

good story or not. Shall we let her walk, if she can? Shall we let her

walk? You can walk, lovely lady. There we go. One more. This is it.

This is it. OK. Here is our final one. Hello. Hi. What is your name?

Drew. Lovely. Are you from abroad? Yes. I'm studying here. Where

abouts in America. Kansas. That is where I'm from. I know. Where in

Kansas. Leighwood. Same here. this a Paul Rudd story. You did go

to high school with my parents CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

You beat me to it! You beat me to it. Well done. If you would like to

join us on the show and have a go in the Red Chair you can go to our

website at this address: Thank you so much to all my guests tonight's,