Episode 5 The Graham Norton Show

Very excited, on the show tonight is a singer famous for his trade

mark stage slide. It's not that hard at all. It's really quite...

APPLAUSE Thank you so much. Good evening.

Good evening, good evening. Oh, I'm excited for you. What a great show

we've got this week. Yes, as you might have guessed the smoothest

singer in town, Michael Buble is here! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE English

rose turned Hollywood star, Helena Bonham Carter is on the show!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE I know! The hottest comedian in Britain, Jack

Whitehall will be here. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Later, we'll be joined

by globe trotting python star, Michael Palin. CHEERING AND

APPLAUSE Yes. Michael will be telling us all

about his latest travels around Brazil. Brazil, what a country,

full of beautiful women and football. Mmm, not really my bag.

LAUGHTER I might go there one day. I am

delighted to welcome Helena Bonham Carter onto the show. She is the

star of so many brilliant films like Mary Shelley's Frankenstein

and Room With A View and Sweeney Todd. The demon barber Fleet Street.

I wonder why they called him the demon barber? Perfect, thank you so

much. Here she is in Planet Of The Apes.

Lovely. She played an ape that formed a romantic attachment to a

human. You know, it could happen. It could.

LAUGHTER I told you it could happen. How

excited are we that Michael Buble is back with us!

APPLAUSE Oh, there's a bank of ladies over

there, arghh! That's what Michael does so brilliantly, it's the way

he cult investigates a rapport with his fans.

Yeah. I'll give you another song.

Michael incredibly popular especially amongst women of a

certain age. Getting drunk and waving their

knickers at him. LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE Let's get some guests on. Later,

we're joined by Mr Michael Palin. First, time for classic Whitehall

comedy, it's Jack Whitehall. Suited, booted. I'm coming this way. Hello

Sir. Very nice to see you. Have a seat. Christmas has come early,

it's Michael Buble! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh, leather, den im, nice

to see you. Time to get Carter, it's Helena

Bonham Carter! APPLAUSE

Hello you lovely woman. Sit down. Very nice to see you.

It's a chat show everybody. Are you expecting company? I know it is

excessive. Jaeger bomb with a coffee chaser. Diet Coke gets you

up. Water flushes through and coffee if I do fall asleep, which I

won't. Wow. Helena has high hopes for the show.

It's nice when the sofa, the people are fans of each other. Michael,

how many times due see Helena's last film? Dark shadows? Honestly,

five times, I took my friends, my family. I thought it was a

beautiful movie. I was so entertained through the whole thing.

Thank you. Did you pay, five times? Yes, for a lot of people. Dear. I

wish everybody else went five times. Did you see it once? I thought it

was so good, I film today on a camcorder burnt it to a...

LAUGHTER I wanted my friends to see it as

well. I gave it to them at a reasonable price. Jack Whitehall, a

big of wee might come out of Jack he's so excited. I'm on the same

sofa as Michael Buble. He's not making this up. Really? I'm so

excited to be here with you this evening. I'm at a stage in my life

where my friends are going out right and they're having these all-

night raifz and getting drunk and partying. I'm so over that. My

ideal night - go home, run a bath, light some candles, open a botdle

of sharaz, put ot a little of this man's music here and have what I

like to refer to as a Buble bath. It's a dream, Michael. Honestly,

you don't even know, this is crazy that you would say that. Because I

have kept this in my wallet forever. It's not a photo of him. Is it a

restraining order? Oh! It's a bromance. Look at those eyes!

should have a Buble bath together one day, not in a gay way, like two

boys at boarding school that want to conserve water. Like after a

match. You are going to be excited because Mike sl performing later.

Yes, he will. This is the Christmas considered. Which are you giving

us? Jingle Bells with the most incredible group from here called

the Papadopoulos sisters. If you don't know them, -- papinni sisters,

if you don't know them, you're going to love them. You released

four extra tracks? Yes. Last year the only thing that outsold this

was Adele's 21. That's right, yes. It's massive. It turns out I'm a

Christmas slut. You take it quite seriously. You

love this. I love it. You go for it? I love it. I think my mum and

dad gave me so much love and my sisters. We'd come from my

grandparents and Christmas eve and they'd never heard me sing. I was

nine, ten years old. You know the kids in the car with my sisters we

were singing white Christmas, # I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

with every Christmas card I write # And I went

# May your days be merry and bright And the whole car went? Christmas

in the Helena Bonham Carter Burton family, we have a vision of your

lives. It might be different from what you think. Is it traditional?

Completely. Very boring. The first Christmas he decorated the trees,

he likes creative control of the tree, he's quite artistic. He.tree

and everything, but as you got close you saw there were zombies

and dead babies and things. This is what I was like... Really? There

were. He's a sick man. Didn't you notice? His movies, there's a lot

of Christmas in the movies. loves Christmas. He got the lights

today. Can I clarify there's a lot in the paper about oh, you guys

live in separate houses. You just live in a big house don't you?

You're right. Hang on, they just knocked through some houses. We did

have little ones and now it looks like a big house which has no

interior design constancey whatsoever. There's a bit like me,

which is tasteful and then a bit of his, which is bizarre. But no,

there's not actually, everybody seems to make us more interesting

than we are. You just live like rich people. It's just a big house.

Exactly, very rich people, very, very, very rich. The first time you

spoke, though... At all, in life? No, to Tim. The first phone call,

that didn't sound like the beginning of a romance. For me it

was actually. I was in Australia doing a film, no-one saw that one,

but I liked it. Any way, he phoned up saying, "I'm directing this film,

Planet Of The Apes, it's Tim Burton here, it was in the middle of the

night, never mind, cut to the chase, he said, "Don't take this the wrong

way but you are the first person I thought of to play a chimpansy." I

thought, God he's never met me, but he's got me. He had a feeling, he

has a lot of good instinct about people that you like to cover up. I

said you're completely right. was the first spark? There it began.

It was that and her work in the PG Tips adverts which was phenomenal.

You have been together now ten years, congratulations. Thank you,

11 years. APPLAUSE

Very good. That took the man from Canada to start the round of

applause. Every British couple in here was like, they must hate each

other by now. Michael Buble... Year-and-a-half, over a year-and-a-

half you got married. Though it feels like 20. I mean 20 happy

years. It's great, yeah. I married up. That's what I d. An actress

called luciana... Mrs Buble. When I try and pull girls, I use Michael

Buble. Because I don't know if you're aware of this, but your

music is clincher music. If you take a girl on a date and things

aren't going well. You go back to yours and a bit of Buble and boom,

someone's getting fingered. That's how it worked.

LAUGHTER It is! Do you ever list ton one of

your own CDs? When I am making a record, I go home and listen to it

so I can basically judge it and destroy it and go back the next day

and resing it. You know what we're asking. When I make love? When you

make sweet love? When I make love? That's the thing, people are like

Barry White. No you have sex with Barry White with -- in the

background. You make love with Michael Buble. I would get through

ten seconds of one song. # Another summer day... #

Thi. -- thank you. I bet you make love

like music, a cacophony of steady rhythms wheezing to a jazzy climax.

In terms of your relationship, love at first sight, you meet her, but

you can't communicate to begin with. We couldn't communicate and she

couldn't speak English at all. Where did you meet her?

Argentina after a show. I saw her across a crowded room. I was in

love with her. She was invited to an after-party thing. She walked in

with the greatest looking guy I've ever seen, he made Brad Pitt look

like a fat turd. He came in and I, he could speak a little English,

and it was heart breaking. You meet the woman of your dreams and then

her boyfriend. I was drunk and as I got more drunk and more drunk, I

was trying to figure out if they were together, but I didn't want to

be rude. I would never do that to a guy. It's bad form. So by the time

a few drinks went by I was trying to figure it out. I was just wasted.

I ended up saying like "Oh, my God, look at your arm is so big. You

guys are beautiful together." He said like, no, we're not together.

And I said like oh, really. By that time my wife is already texting her

mother saying "Oh, my God. He is so gay." Have you learned, is it

Spanish or Portuguese? Brazil is Portuguese so it's Spanish. Have

you learned some? I have a little bit. She says I speak like a cave

man. Her English is, she went from not saying, really not a word to

one day we were at her house in Argentina and I said to her, do you

want to take this DVD back to blockbuster and she said "Yes,

please place the corresponding considered within the correct

package." LAUGHTER

Again I married up. Now, we must talk about your new movie. We must.

We must. Great Expectations, they've made it again, goddamn it.

I've been talking about it for the last two weeks, and everybody goes

again. O'Kay there was the telly one. But on the big green, the

first movie that's been out 60- something years, I can't remember,

but it's true. 61 years since the last thingy. It does, yeah. It's a

very good version. It tellles the story brilliantly. You're fantastic.

You're Mrs Haversham. Miss. That's the whole point. Sorry I didn't

mean to spoil the plot for anyone. This one she actually gets married.

That's a good script. You cheered it up. We thought we'd change it up

and get her married. I read it. Also I wasn't trying to do

something different, soy thought, ah, I read it, I did read it, I

promise. Then the first thing, there was one piece that she was,

when she hears the news she only puts one shoe on, so I played the

whole thing with one shoe on one off. We never really got a shot of

it. When we saw it, Tim thought like I was looking as if I'm

hobbling and trying to be old. No I'm proud to be 45, but I'm playing

it like Cinderella and it's a fairy-tale. There is lots of fairy-

It's out next Friday, 30th November. Here a clip. It's miss Haversham

meeting Pip, I think, for the first You will use it well. Now, let me

see you play cards with him. But he is a common neighbouring boy.

can break his heart. What do you play, boy? Nothing but pickeringham.

So play it. We can't talk about your career without mentioning

Harry Potter. Yeah. Did different people approach you after Harry

Potter? They gallon really scared. I was walking down the street and

someone just screamed. A fully grown adult they went ahhh. There

are young children who are scared of me. They are scared of me.

Between that... Sometimes it's quite useful. I have a wand at home.

When Billy, my son, brings kids who I don't particularly like I just

get the wand. Or they are not being particularly good. Take the wand

out and they suddenly... Hallowe'en, trick or treating people run away

from your house screaming. "it's so good." It's the one time we don't

have to dress up. We blend in. weird thing is, in Harry Potter you

could have been working with Jack? How? Was it a missed opportunity.

auditions. The eyes. I could have made a very good Kop Potter. I

looked like Harry Potter. I was a massive Pothead. Into Harry Potter,

not weed. I used to get teased at school. There was a school bully.

The school bullyy was horrible to me. He was Hatkushoi. He used to

say "Potter why don't you piss off back to Hucklepfuff." Harry Potter

was in Griffindor! Expellious. The clue is in the picture. I think you

are aged 11. Who would bully that?! That is very cute. I wouldn't have

been a good Harry Potter. Harry Potter does stuff. I wouldn't bg

like... I was, you know if I got given the invisibility cloak Ron is

like Can We Find the Fee loss ter's Stone? Daniel Radcliffe made an

amazing Harry Potter. I heard a story that summed up how hard it

was. A friend of mine was at a house party that Daniel was at.

this true I was like - Daniel was at the house party. One of the

biggest movie stars in the world. Presumably people were asking for

photographs with him, girls wanting to sign his breasts. My mate went

"no, that is not what happened. I went upstairs and and five of his

friends were standing outside chanting "magic your way out of

that knobhead "." Is that true? don't know. I wasn't at the house

party. After two years you are returning to she's shores to tour.

I know. Why has it taken so long, people love it here? I was a huge

fan of Elvis Presley, his thing was to leave them wanting more. I think

it's nice not to over stay your welcome. I wanted to put out a new

record. I got married. My family is my priority. I needed to get away a

little bit. It paid off. The O2 went mad. 100,000 tickets sold in

less than five minutes. Yes. Oh, my God! I know. It's not that

impressive. I bought 60,000. bought the rest! Yeah. Your parents

must be so, I don't know, fabulous they have lived to see your success.

There must have been times when they thought - give it up, Michael.

It's not going to happen? How long did it take you. 16 when I started.

No, that is when he started! But, yeah, it's, obviously, it's amazing

for them. It's like the Lottery. billion albums, still selling.

you give them money? Do you share it? Yeah. Not that I regret it,

but... But it's just kind of weird when you are working your ass off

and every time you talk to your family they are on vacation

somewhere. That is the honest to God truth. Sometimes it's difficult,

you know? I'm in Ohio in a little hotel you are in Hawaii again for

the fourth time this month! Is it true that your parents got you into

singing as a memory technique? Was it your address? I couldn't

remember shit. They would say, your address is 3049 Cardinal Drive. My

dad said # 304D Cardinal Drive... #

That stayed in my head forever. just want to write that down. That

is where you are. It is really true. A beautiful voice singing something

as biennial as an address. We thought, what else could Michael

sing? Well, obviously there are. Big Michael Buble fans. Any ladies

close by. You look like a Michael Buble... You look like a fan of

everybody. Are you a fan of Michael Buble? Yeah. Are you. Is that your

husband? Yes. Are you feeling a little jealous, sir? Yes. Do you

have a modern phone. I have a little cheap one. Does it receive

text messages? Yes. Give me your phone. What is your name? Dawn.

This is Dawn. Where are your texts in there now? My texts. Texts.

There we go. So, if I go to the "inbox", yeah. Yeah. Lovely. Here's

one, are you Clief? No! -- Clive? No! Dawn, youminx! Clive said to

you "I'll be getting you -- an early night see you... This is your

son. He is a dentist and I have a tooth ache. I see. OK. OK. Let us

see if Michael can sing this text. When You Wish Upon A Star.

# Well, I will be getting an early night

# See you soon # And your niggle

# See you tomorrow # Clive, x, x, x... #

Beautiful. There we go. That is for you, Dawn. Very good. Right. That

was gorgeous. Amazing. Thank you. Jack Whitehall, you have finished a

tour? A year ago. OK. Sorry. He did finish it. I did. It lives on in

the form of a DVD. The one that Michael Buble's wife was returning

in that story. She didn't like it. The beginning of this year I

recorded. Where are you in your life, have you moved out of home?

Yes I'm trying to become more mature, adult, grownup human being

and sort of failing in that respect. How old are you now? I was going to

ask you. 24 years of age. I have ID to prove it. I talk about

relationships as well. I had a couple of failed relationships now

which have made me learn things. I had a relationship with a girl who

split up with me because she said I was too immature which is a gay

thing to say. She said that. It was about when... Like, I nend a

chicken suit, basically, it's a call back to when I was getting

back with her. I got drunk. I was dressed as a chicken it was a

costume dressing up party. I was dressed as a chicken am I did win.

We came back to her house at 4700 am and she was - you are so mature.

I opened the door stinking of booze saying I had been kicked out of KFC

for storming in and demanding to have my children back. It doesn't

go down well. Clearly, you're posh. Your audience is quite posh as well,

isn't it? Quite. I heard the poshish heckle. I was doing a story

about a TV chef. In the story I said "he went over and switched on

his aga" a man at the back of the room with such rage stood up and

said "you can't switch on a Aga, that is the point !" That is my fan

base. Your fans send you things? They do send me things. I'm crap at

answering fan mail. You brought in a piece. I did bring in a piece.

This is the only thing I read in the last week. Apologise to anybody

who sent me something. It's beautiful. Very nicely done. A fan

made this. It's called "25 Carter cart has taught me." things like

The Best Outfits Don't cpvp to Match -- Have to Match. People feel

better until No 17. No 17. It's OK To Have Short Thick Legs. My friend

said, read it, it will make you feel good. She hadn't read it all.

I just went "ugh." I never said it was OK to have short thick legs.

Maybe I'm making her feel OK about hers? Let's go with that. If I've

made short thick legs fashionable I've done something really helpful

for female... Yes. Michael Buble, I love reading about your fans. Your

fans are proper... People faint when they meet you? A couple of

times did. I'm not like a One Direction guy. I feel horrible for

them. I can see it happening too. You should have smelling salts.

Then I couldn't slap them awake. Yeah, you can it happening too. You

know what it isn't, it's not like the freak out like The Beatles.

It's like I'm talking to them and I say "thank you very much" I see it

in their eye they are socially anxious they go "oh, my gosh I

can't believe..." then you see them fading. Then it's "boom." Sometimes

your fans can be very direct. Do they whisper something to you?

this is horrible. This is just... They give you an insight into who I

am and how gigantic my ego is. I was at a signing, like a book store,

a record store, this girl came up and she was very hot. She was about

18/19 years old. She looked at me with these very sexy eyes she said

"oh, Michael, does your penis give lessons?" I was so happy about this,

you don't even know! I had my publicist with me. I looked at her

and and said "this lady just asked me if my penis gave lessons." this

girl said, "I said, does your pianist give lessons"! I don't hear

what I want to hear! Oh, God. It gives you insight. Be care whafl

I'm thinking about being in that class. Michael Buble will be

singing shortly. First, let's say hello to my final guest. Show this

man and globe and he'll trot it. Please welcome. Michael Palin!

Have a seat. Hello. Hi guys. How nice. Lovely to see you. It's like

breaking into a party that's going really well here and in comes the

vicar. Can you keep the noise down, please? Now for the boring bit.

It's always lovely to see you. and you too. This Christmas you

bring us a handsome tomb. Yes, it's beautiful, a book of your trip to

Brazil, handsomely produced. Very handsomely, yes. Fantastic photos,

wonderful text, page numbering absolutely terrific, really almost

accurate throughout. And it weighs a ton. It's a proper... That's a

proper book. You feel you have a proper gift. It's a lavish BBC

production. But you know there are some cost-cutting going around the

some cost-cutting going around the BBC. You did use some local crews.

Yes, they have been filmed so often that they now know how to use

cameras and they now how to use quite sophisticated computer

programmes and all. That they've leapt from being people of the

rainforest to people who can work out quite sophisticated technical

equipment. Do though necessity -- they know what you want? "Do you

want us to do the dance sning" They've been on Come Dine With Me.

Some of the places you've been to are so remote, there's no way you

can make that comfortable in telly land. It must have been hell.

it wasn't hell. It was kind of exciting and interesting. They

don't, all right you sleep in a hammock all night and it's a

strange... We were talking about that, did you really sleep in that

hammock all night? Of course I did, all night. How long? Did they not

have a lilo for you? How many hours did you get? How much sleep do you

need? Yeah, Michael! She's drunk her coffee. I'm running out.

think it's great when comedians really slum it. I watched the most

amazing documentary where Leny Henry stayed in a Premier Inn. It

tugged at your heart strings. I don't know how he got through it.

wanted that gig. Was there any place that's were insecure or

more... Dangerous? People say Brazil is dangerous. I had no

problems. We didn't feel threatened at any point. But take a turn down

the wrong street and you probably find problems. In Salvador,

beautiful city, but no-one stops at red traffic lights after 11pm. You

just move on. I never know what the problem is with danger. I get into

places and people say, "You went there?! Someone just got killed or

eaten there." Oh, really, it looks very nice to me. The sun's shining.

Oh, is that a snake, oohhh. I'll eat that later. It wasn't just

people you encountered, you had lots of animals in the film. What

are the dolphins? The pink river dolphins. They're quite dangerous,

I'm told. You swam with them. didn't know they were dangerous. I

thought, I've never swum with dolphins. I thought they were

lovely, nice faces and that. They're smiley. They make you feel

better. There they are. They have a lot of teeth. They're about a foot

long, 25 teeth. Was it in Hawaii you had a wildlife encount sner

Yeah, you know, I go there with my wife and buddies every year. One

year I went there and I got hammered, just shittered just drunk

and a skunk. The next morning, I said to them because my friends are

crazy, boys, just be cool tonight, don't do something stupid, stay out

of the water. All that stuff. When we woke up the next morning. I felt

great. They said "You know man, you were crazy last night." I got angry

because they kept accusing me of doing this stuff. It wasn't true,

until they showed me a picture of me dry humping a sea turtle.

believe we have the picture. There you are.

That's a big sea turtle. I swear to you I had zero recollection of that

turtle. Sometimes I hope the turtle for got me too. I love your face.

There is no expression at all. That's called enjoying. It's love.

The turtle is waiting for you to call. That's probably the most

exciting thing that's happened to that turtle in about 123 years.

They live a long time. Very rarely do they get a major world singer

dry hum pg them. APPLAUSE

-- humping. Mike sl going to be singing for us, no, not you.

APPLAUSE You can, if you want to. Certainly

not. You sing Canada's National Anthem.

# I'm just a lumber Jack, I'm OK # It's time for the music. Mr Buble,

if you'd like to go and get ready. Go on. Right, in a moment, we'll

have this week's stories in the famous red chair. First, performing

Jingle Bells, it is Mr Michael # Merry Christmas, ladies

# Are you ready to sing a little Jingle Bells?

# Yeeeees # Jingle bells, jingle bells

# Jingle all the way # Oh, what fun it is to ride

# In a one-horse open sleigh # Jingle bells, jingle bells

# Jingle all the way # Oh, what fun it is to ride

# In a one-horse open sleigh # Dashing through the snow

# In a one-horse open sleigh # O'er the fields we go

# Laughing all the way # Bells on bob tail ring

# Making spirits bright # What fun it is to ride and sing

# A sleighing song tonight # Jingle bells, jingle bells

# Jingle all the way # Oh, what fun it is to ride

# In a one-horse open sleigh... 'eigh... 'eigh

# Jingle bells, jingle bells # Jingle all the way

# Oh, what a lotta fun, what a lotta fun to ride and sing

# In a one-horse open sleigh # Dashing through the snow

# We are dashing # In a one-horse open sleigh

# One-horse sleigh # O'er the fields we go

# O'er the fields we go, we go # Laughing all the way

# All the way # Bells on bob tail ring

# Making spirits bright # What fun it is to ride and sing

# A sleighing song tonight # Jingle bells, jingle bells

# Jingle all the way # Oh, what fun it is to ride

# In a one-horse open sleigh # Oh everyone

# Jingle bells, jingle bells # Jingle all the way

# Oh, what fun it is to ride # Argh, jingle bells,

# Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle bells

# Jingle all the way # Oh, what fun

# in a one-horse open sleigh # Jingle bells,

# Jingle bells, jingle bells jingle bells

# Jingle all the way # Oh what fun it is to ride

# In a one-horse open sleigh # Jingle bells, jingle bells,

Jingle all the way Fantastic job, Sir. Thank you.

a seat. Very good. Swingle all the way. Swing, swingle bells. Just a

time for a story or two in the red chair. Who is first? Hello Sir.

Hello. What's your name? Rob. do you live? In market harbour in

Leicestershire. It's lovely there. Paip paip paip has been there. Mind

-- Michael Palin has been there, mind you, he's been everywhere.

What do you do? Well I live there, but I work in Swindon, it doesn't

get better than that. What a lovely morning. Right off you go. I was in

London and walking past Buckingham Palace... That's a great start to a

story. Our expectations are so high now. And out of the gate comes

Nelson Mandela. Oh! Name drop. Didn't see it coming. OK. He's

wearing this flipping hot shirt and I just said to him "Where did you

get that shirt from." Like I had been hanging out with Nelson

Mandela for a while. Did he answer me at all? He grinned a very nice

grin. I bought it from Primark. I got introduced to Nelson Mandela

once and he thanked me for helping end apartheid. I was thinking, I

didn't do that much, I signed a petition on the night bus. I met

him and told him I loved him in Shaw shank redemgs. That was not

good. One more. Why not. This is is.

We're hoping this is is. It's going to be the turtle I got... By

Michael Buble. Hello? Hello! Hi Graham. He looks

serious, like he means business. Biker dude. What's your name?

Steve from Belfast. And do you live in Belfast or here? I live in

London. What do you do? I'm a director in a sales company. Mmm.

He looks like a bit a. -- of a shit. My balls are so bigamy legs need to

be like this. -- go ahead. I was in Dublin with

my girlfriend, who is now my ex- girlfriend. We were celebrating our

year's anniversary and in a fancy restaurant. In the corner we seen

Bono having dinner with a friend. The Edge? Being big YouTube fans as

we are, we thought shall we go over and ask for an autograph and a

picture. Go, go. We thought it might not be appropriate. Bono got

up and went to the toilet and this was our chance, soy went over and

asked the friend, he was with just one friend, and I asked "Do you

think Bono would mind if me and my girlfriend got a picture and an

autograph. We're big U2 fans." The friend said, he's a very private

person. We're having dinner. Come back to your table. When he comes

back, if he's OK with it, I'll wave you over. Five minutes later he

came back. Only five minutes. OK. He came back addened friend waved

us over so we ran over like two geeks and said Bono we're big U2

fans... We got all that, yes! together a year, can we have a

photo and a picture, yes no problem. I give the camera to the friend who

then took a picture of three of us and he signed an autograph no

problem. We went back to our table very happy. An hour or so later, I

went to the waiter to get the bill and the waiter said no, your bill

has been paid for. I said well, who's paid for that, has Bono paid

for our dinner. No Bruce Springsteen did, he was the friend

who we didn't recognise... APPLAUSE

Yeah. Wow, you can walk. Go, go. What a good story. Well done

everyone. If you'd like a go in the red chair you can. Thank you to all

my guests tonight, Mr Michael Palin! Helena Bonham Carter! Jack

Whitehall! And Michael Buble! # Join me next week with comedienne