Episode 11 The Graham Norton Show

Tonight on the show, we've got the star of Rocky.

HE PANTS

CHEERING

Let's, erm... Let's...

What a wuss! Let's start the show.

Yay!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Oh! Oh!

Thank you very much.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello, everybody,

and welcome, one and all.

What a line-up we've got to kick off the year.

One of the biggest action heroes of all time -

Sylvester Stallone is here!

-CHEERING

-Yeah!

It's a warm welcome back to the great Robert De Niro,

ladies and gentlemen!

CHEERING

Top actress Carey Mulligan is here.

CHEERING

Star of Superbad and Moneyball, Jonah Hill is on the show.

CHEERING

Plus, we'll be having music from Jake Bugg, everybody!

-CHEERING

-The lovely Jake Bugg.

So sweet! So sweet.

I'm delighted to welcome

Robert De Niro AND Sylvester Stallone -

how incredible is that?

Together at last, they're both in a new boxing movie, Grudge Match.

Now, obviously, not their first time in the ring,

De Niro starred in the legendary Raging Bull.

Wow. Now, if you haven't seen it,

it's sort of a romantic comedy, you know.

Sleepless In Seattle with gloves.

Bob... Bob gained a lot of weight

to shoot the scenes at the end of that film.

I think we've got a photo.

-LAUGHTER

-Unrecognisable!

Sylvester, of course, played the iconic boxer Rocky Balboa.

Now, Rocky had so many epic fights.

This is from Rocky IV,

this one's from Rocky III.

This is Rocky II.

Now, to be honest, a complete mismatch.

The end of that film - what a mess.

Not just Rocky, though,

Sylvester was also troubled Vietnam vet John Rambo.

-CHEERING

-Hmm, a violent sadistic vet -

-where have I seen that before.

-CAT MEOWS

Let's get some guests on!

Later we'll have music from Jake Bugg!

But first, he's not just good, he's super-good - it's Jonah Hill!

CHEERING

-Wow, hello, sir!

-How are you?

-I'm well.

Nice to see you, sit down.

-Lovely suit.

-Thank you.

Carey on clapping - it's Carey Mulligan.

CHEERING

Beautiful, beautiful. Hello, darling.

-Hello.

-Hi.

-What's happened to your hair?

-I know!

And here's two genuine Hollywood heavyweights -

it's De Niro and Stallone!

Well! Hello, sir, welcome back. Lovely to see you.

Hello, very nice to see you. Come in, come in! Whoa!

I know you.

Sit down, sit down, sit down.

Wow.

CHEERING

-It's impressive.

-They like you.

-No, no.

-No, it was you.

No, there was silence before you walked out.

What a couch, ladies and gentlemen, what a couch.

Are you staying, Bob?

-I am.

-OK, fine.

-No, my hat?

-Because I have a shaved head...

-Oh! It might frighten us?

-I feel better.

-OK.

It is acting royalty, ladies and gentlemen,

I think you'll agree. Acting royalty.

CHEERING

-Some newer members of the royal family.

-For sure.

And then some...vintage royalty.

Us has-beens.

Lookin' good.

And Rocky, very popular in the Mulligan household, I believe.

Isn't it? No, it is.

My mum's dog's called Rocky

and my dog's called Rambo.

-It was meant to be.

-I know.

Anything that walks on four legs reminds people of me, thanks a lot.

Thank you, appreciate that.

Jonah, do you have a cat called Jake LaMotta or anything?

No, I'm allergic to cats.

Otherwise he really would, he would, yeah.

My mum's here. I always bring a family member.

-You did, you brought your dad last time.

-I brought my dad last time.

-Where's your mum, let's wave at her.

-God, she's going to hate this. Mum!

Where is she?

-Where is she? Oh, there she is.

-Oh, there you are, hello. Hi!

No... Lots of women are waving. How many mothers do you have?

Oh, the one that looks like you.

OK, yeah. The lady who actually looks like Carey Mulligan.

By the way, can I just ask you, you know you were here to promote Shame?

-Yeah.

-Did your dad ever see it?

-No, Dad's never seen Shame.

-That's good.

-My dad has!

-Have you seen Shame?

-BOTH: Yes.

OK, yeah.

Looking away. "Yes, I have seen it."

Jonah, is it true, you know,

encouraging people to go to see your movies -

weren't you in the movie theatre

encouraging people to go to your movies?

I started out when I was young, I just turned 30 a couple of weeks ago.

-You don't look it.

-Thank you, thank you. I look 48.

But I started when I was 19, 20,

and I was 20, 21,

and I was real excited because I was in a movie theatre

and one of the previews for a film I was in came on

and it was, like, really exciting and I was with my friend and I was trying to make him laugh.

The preview came on and we were in a movie theatre

and no-one knew it was me.

No-one even knew who I was yet or anything and I go,

"I'm seeing that!" to try and make my friend laugh,

and then a guy in front of us who had no idea I was behind him just goes,

"Yeah, maybe on an aeroplane(!)"

LAUGHTER Dead serious. I was like,

"Oh, shit."

That's cruel.

I deserved it though, to be honest.

Talking of selling tickets,

Sylvester Stallone and Robert De Niro are here to sell tickets

to their new movie, Grudge Match,

which opens here on the 24th of January.

I didn't know what to expect -

-it's really good.

-Thank you.

-I mean, it's really good.

-How was he?

-You're both excellent.

LAUGHTER

I thought they cut him out.

It's funny but it's dramatic and...the fight scene,

the big fight, is just fantastic.

Thank you.

Obviously you have form, there's Raging Bull, Rocky.

For some reason, I thought, watching this film,

that it was your idea, this movie.

But, in fact, it was you, Bob, who were getting Sylvester to do it.

Yeah, I mean...

When I was told about it by Pete Segal, the director,

and Billy Gerber, one of the producers, and I said yes,

send me the script, a couple of years ago and then...

But I always knew that it had to be Sylvester to do it.

He's saying that now. "Is there anybody BUT Sylvester available?"

"Him again?!

"Geez, that's original!"

Boxing, Stallone - that's going to work.

-But why did you have to talk him into it?

-He had reservations.

I think he was worried about it being a comedy wouldn't work

and I said, "Don't worry about it, we'll learn it together,

"it'll be OK."

I've said it before, it could've come out

like Raging Bullwinkle against Rocky the Flying Italian Squirrel,

it could've come out as a comedy,

but an unintentional comedy.

But the way they worked it - the drama and the other cast,

Alan Arkin and Kim Basinger, it started to get very, very good.

So I thought, maybe I should not be so foolish

and so precious and protective of Rocky

and let it go.

But also, it's not just as easy as saying,

"Oh, yeah, I'll do that movie." You then had to get ready.

-Yeah, there is that part.

-Yeah.

How hard was that?

Well, I work out, so you have a baseline

and then after that the boxing is a great work-out and fun to do.

It's invigorating, it's hard, but, you know, it's good.

And in terms of physical transformation, is Raging Bull

still the biggest physical transformation you've done, Bob?

Yes, yeah. Physically, yeah. I gained 60 lbs.

Oh, my God, how long did that take?

-It took about close to three months, four months.

-We've got...

That's unbelievable.

And is the story about France true?

-Yeah, I ate in France...

-Ate France!

I really...

The food... The only problem was it was a little rich,

so I couldn't eat as much as I thought I could,

whereas if I went to Italy it would've been better, I might have gained more weight.

And is it nice, putting on 60 lbs?

The first 15-20 are fun,

then it's drudgery, it's work, it's awful.

How much did you put on for Cop Land?

Cop Land, I put on about 35.

I went to a place called the Canadian Pancake House there.

Every day I lay face-down in batter.

"Are you done with that French toast?"

-It was bad.

-But you do look so good in the fight sequences,

but equally, those scenes at the beginning - is that stock footage?

-Stock footage.

-Oh, it is stock footage?

No, they digitally did some of those. They did both.

-Both.

-That's incredible.

So basically at the beginning you see them as young men.

That's why we're hoping our careers can be extended another three years.

Our avatars.

Because you were both so recognisable,

and people, for some reason,

seem to love doing impressions of both of you,

does it ever make you...?

When you're acting, does it ever make you self-conscious?

BOTH: No.

LAUGHTER

You never get worried about doing yourself?

No...

-Do you?

-Yeah.

Sometimes I'll hear a playback and I'm going,

"God, that's a horrible imitation."

And then I'll go, "Shit, that's me!"

I really do sound that bad.

Bob, you know there's that picture -

have you seen this photograph?

Yeah, I was trying to figure where I did it and when I did it.

It's this guy called Andy Gotts,

he took a picture

and he claims it's you doing an impression of Al Pacino

doing an impression of you.

LAUGHTER

OK.

Listen, we've got a clip.

This is Bob's character

trying to convince your character

to go ahead with the grudge match.

You made me wait 30 years to prove to the world I can kick your ass,

and that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to kick your ass.

-You're going to move on.

-Move on, move on?

-Move on!

Now that you got her, you want me to move on?

How do you live with yourself knowing that we tied?

How do you... That there was no grudge match?! You never beat me!

-I was there!

-No!

-He kicked your ass.

He didn't kick my ass, he knew I wasn't ready for that fight.

I lost that fight because I was out of shape.

The first one I kicked his ass because I was IN shape.

-You're pathetic.

-Pathetic! Tell her! Tell her.

-He wasn't ready.

-See?

So you were afraid of that third fight.

-Not even a little bit, I was going to knock you out.

-Let's do it now, then!

-Look at us! What are you talking about? Look at us.

-Yeah, look at us.

We're not dead. Everybody's laughing at us, the whole world's laughing at us.

-That's right.

-But we're not dead, we're not dead.

In fact, this whole thing has made me feel more alive than ever!

-Wow.

-APPLAUSE

They showed the yellin' stuff again.

Seriously, it is great, and here's the thing -

I don't think it's a spoiler,

because it would be a very bad film if the grudge match didn't happen -

so there is a big grudge match at the end,

and it's phenomenal, the boxing at the end.

And there's incredible shots where, for both of you,

is there a way to do them?

You know when you've been punched

and you come round

and it's like your face is hanging off?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Is there a technique to that?

There's two ways of doing it. One is to get punched,

and that works well.

It really is true!

Then we did the slow motion, it's not worth it.

Then there's one where Bob clips me

and you put whatever you want in your mouth,

a little blood, whatever,

and you cough at the same time as you breathe in...

HE COUGHS

..and that creates the effect

without it looking like...

Cos people try to spit. You get hit and you go...pfff!

-It doesn't work.

-So you cough it out?

You cough it out, you go, "Ahem!"

And it creates this...

Disgusting! This mural of pain.

We got the software

and put it in that camera there, nine.

-Yeah.

-It's like high-speed. So that you can slow it down.

I'm just talking, words are coming out of my mouth. I don't know what I'm talking about.

Apparently it can do this thing.

So, if we demonstrate - I'm not going to ask you to hit me,

-but if you could pretend to hit me.

-Right.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

Really pretend.

Emphasis on the P! OK.

-HE MIMICS ANNOUNCER:

-"That was the last show in the Graham Norton Series...

"We dedicate it..." A big black box around the whole show!

So, if you can demonstrate...

We have a glove.

-Sorry, excuse I. Is that the right one?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. OK, OK.

But you are pretending?

It's like being at home again.

-Yeah.

-You look way too happy.

You look delighted.

I really liked your movie,

I can't tell you how much I liked this film!

Best film I've EVER seen.

You're all invited, I'll buy you all tickets!

OK. So, stand up.

I'm going to put a little water in my mouth.

-So I cough the water?

-Yes.

Now, I'm going to come across this way.

-Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm.

-Boom. GRAHAM SQUEALS

It'll come to, like, your ear, and then you just turn

-and it looks like I nailed you. Ready?

-Mm-hmm.

Ready?

On three.

One, two, three.

Argh!

APPLAUSE

OK, now. That was good. OK.

I didn't spit on anyone, no?

OK, now we get to watch that back in...

And this is... I guess this is what they do in the movies?

So, here it is.

APPLAUSE

That's great!

Eurgh!

Eurgh!

Isn't that great? It doesn't take much!

LAUGHTER

I'm still looking at him like, "Wow".

You haven't moved. You haven't moved.

You're like a photograph behind me.

Am I still going?!

-Yeah!

-God.

That's funny.

-I've got a face like a wind sock.

-I know.

You can only keep that going for a few seconds, then you go,

"Oh, God." I know what you mean. Cut on the cut.

Weirdly, in terms of hitting people,

Carey Mulligan, you did damage to Ryan Gosling, didn't you?

Yeah, I've... I've hit him.

Yeah. In a movie?

-In a movie, yeah.

-I never liked him.

Erm, no, I got to hit him a lot.

It was a slap, it wasn't a hit,

but it was 17 takes.

This was in Drive. Were you really hitting him?

-He wanted it.

-Bad!

He wanted it BAD. But after 17 times even your hand must have hurt.

It did, it was!

Oh, I suffer... Ow!

In terms of physical things,

in Wolf Of Wall Street, Jonah Hill's new movie,

there's loads of physical things.

-It's wild, it is a wild film.

-Yes.

-But there are some fights in that as well.

-Yeah.

Jon Bernthal, actually, who's in your guys' film,

plays our drug dealer and my nemesis in the film

and there's a scene where I'm antagonising him on a rooftop

and we did it a few times

and he's supposed to hit me in the face

and we did it a few times

and we were then sitting in between at Scorsese's little video village

where his monitors are at his little couch.

And the three of us are sitting there

and John's pacing in the background with no shirt on,

he's a really buff guy, was a boxer.

Yeah, yeah, he was the real deal.

And Marty just kept saying, "Doesn't look good.

"Looks fake, looks fake, looks fake."

And didn't like it, and I just wanted to please him.

He goes, "Hey, kid, you want to try one where he hits you for real?"

And I just was quiet, cos I'm not going to say no

and I didn't want to say yes,

so I was hoping the silence would eventually let the idea

just float away into the atmosphere.

And Leo's sitting over here

and I looked to Leo cos, you know, he's my friend, maybe he'll be like,

"Oh, maybe there's another way to do it or something."

I turned to him and I just looked at him and he just goes like this...

LAUGHTER He just looks in the other direction

and I go, "All right, let's do it."

And Jon just, in the next take, the whole thing was crazy,

he just nailed me and I had these big fake teeth in the film

and they split in half and just flew out of my mouth.

-Oh, my God!

-It was great, it's a great scene, though,

I'm really proud of it!

That's good!

The Wolf Of Wall Street, it opens next Friday

and, unbelievably, it is based on a true story.

Yeah, it's pretty shocking.

Yeah, this guy Jordan Belfort. So he was a stockbroker of sorts.

Of sorts, you know,

these guys kind of convince people...

It's called pump-and-dump scam,

so they convince you to give them your money

but they know they're not going to make you any money back

and they basically just rip people off for all their money.

But these guys made billions, they made incredible amounts of money.

Yeah, they lived very excessively

and the whole movie's about kind of how they got rich,

their greed, their excess,

and kind of how that plays out in the end.

And he was around - Jordan Belfort was on the set and things.

He wasn't on set, but Leo and I would spend time with him off the set.

And what's he like now? Does he...

-He's in the movie, you know, he's in the last scene.

-Yeah.

He's at the end of the film.

He gives motivational speeches about business and stuff.

LAUGHTER

Learn from the master(!)

You play his second-in-command, Donnie.

We've got the clip here,

-and this is where Donnie first meets Jordan Belfort.

-Yeah.

Make a lot of money?

Yeah, I do all right for myself.

I'm trying to put it together -

nice car, we live in the same building...

I just, I'm not understanding. How much money do you make?

I don't know...

70,000 last month.

HE SCOFFS

I'm serious.

Yeah. No, I'm serious too. Seriously, how much money you make?

I told you, 70,000.

Well, technically 72,000 last month.

-You made 72 grand in one month?

-Yeah.

I tell you what...

you show me a pay stub for 72,000

and I quit my job right now and I work for you.

Hey, Paulie, what's up? Yeah, no, everything's fine.

Hey, listen, I quit.

LAUGHTER

Have you guys seen this yet?

I was going to say you were fantastic in that film, it's great.

Thank you very much.

-I met Jordan Belfort a few times when he was in his heyday and...

-Really?

Yeah, yeah, I was actually on that boat too so he was quite the guy.

Hello!

I got around, pal.

-And your film was amazing, Carey.

-Thanks.

-It's a good couch tonight.

-I even wrote the Coen brothers a fan letter, it was flawless.

-Wow.

I'm telling you, it was a seamless film. It's an amazing year, you know.

We're just hanging in there, punching each other in the face

and these guys here are doing really magnificent work.

No, it is a really enjoyable film, it's such a big

festival of excess and there's scenes like the orgy on the plane.

Is that at all fun or is it just wildly embarrassing?

Uh, it was cool to see Martin Scorsese feel embarrassed

that day because he's so in control of everything but, you know,

everyone's naked on the plane and he's in charge of everything and

he doesn't want to be out of line or anything so he's being

so respectful of everyone...

So he took his clothes off too?

LAUGHTER

No, but he's asking these people,

he's asking us to do these insane things, you know,

so it's kind of funny cos he laughs and he goes,

"Oh, I don't know, maybe, go...put your hand there, I don't know!"

LAUGHTER

He doesn't want to be disrespectful but honestly,

it was so unsanitary, that's the only thing I...

Everyone's like, "Oh, was it crazy and fun?"

I was just like, "I need to Purell my whole body."

But you did try to have sexy time on a plane.

That's not true, I didn't "try to have time sexy time on a plane."

That is like the worst lead-in statement I've ever heard.

I am a romantic and when I was 18, 12 years ago,

I flew on a plane and I sat next to a beautiful girl my age

and I was excited because in my romantic mind,

that was going to be my wife

and I thought we were going to fall in love,

and so we started talking and she was flirting back and she was great

and she was laughing and we were having a great time and I was

so on top of the world.

And I go, "Excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom" and I go

and she can't see, it's obscured, you couldn't see the restroom

and so I'm there and a guy's in there and he's taking for ever, right?

So, like, he's in there, like seven minutes go by,

eight minutes go by, and he finally comes out and I go in and,

not to be crass, but it smelled like someone had passed away...

LAUGHTER

..and so I go in and I'm like, "Oh, my God, it's horrible."

So I hold my breath, I use the bathroom very quickly,

I wash my hands, I come out and she's waiting for the restroom.

LAUGHTER

And so I opened the door and she's like all smiley still

and we squeeze by each other and I want to express it like,

"But some guy was in there before", you know.

It was so quick and she's like "What?" And it was so fast

and then her face just...turned and there was no turning back

so I sat back down and she comes and sits next to me and I'm like,

"Just so you know, there was a guy in the bathroom right before me."

And like mid-sentence, she just goes,

"It's fine, it's fine", and then just reads the rest of the flight.

Awww.

Some guy ruined my future.

APPLAUSE

And, Carey, of course,

you haven't had the Martin Scorsese experience but you did have the

Leonardo DiCaprio experience for The Great Gatsby.

Yeah, yeah, that was daunting.

But I'd never met... Oh, there he is.

I'd never met Leo or Baz Luhrmann or anything and, yeah,

it was a pretty scary one.

-But in the audition, what scene were you auditioning with?

-Oh, oh.

Keep up, keep up.

LAUGHTER

Cue anecdote.

LAUGHTER

-Oh, damn it.

-You have editors on this show.

Oh, yeah, so we had to do this scene where Daisy kisses him

and, you know, you don't just kiss Leonardo DiCaprio so we were

-sort of halfway through the scene and I was sort of like here...

-Yeah?

Oh, sorry.

Keep going, keep going.

Stay in the moment.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I'm sorry, you can use my head as a...

So, I was like here and then I was like, "Shit, shit..."

Ooh, sorry, Mum. I was like, should I...?

LAUGHTER

Did you drag her up? Did you drag her up?

LAUGHTER

I didn't know if I should kiss him or not so I got that, turned

and sort of asked Baz, "Should I kiss him?"

And he was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, go on."

So I just did it and then I got the job cos that's how you get them.

Yeah, hey. Good at the kissing, good at the kissing.

-And she was fantastic in the movie.

-Yeah.

-Thanks.

-You're welcome.

-LAUGHTER

-It's a love-in.

We've one more excellent film to talk about.

Carey Mulligan, the new Coen brothers film, Inside Llewyn Davis.

It opens on the 24th of January and now, again, this is a real story?

No.

Well, it's loosely based on Dave Van Ronk so it's kind of set

around a time in New York but it's loosely based on his...

It's some of his songs

and kind of the idea of that time in Greenwich Village in New York.

-OK, so it's in the '60s around the folk scene?

-Yeah.

And tell the nice people who you play.

I play, uh, part of a singing duo.

I'm a folk singer so there's Jim and Jean so I'm Jean...

-That's sweet.

-..and Jim is played by Justin Timberlake and then

Llewyn Davis is our close friend who's played by Oscar Isaac

and we're sort of a little group.

And this is kind of a different sort of role for you, like,

you're quite tough in this.

-Yeah.

-Mmm.

-Yes.

-Did you like it?

-I did, yes.

-You unleashed?

-I did, a little. It was good.

I mean, I came straight from doing The Great Gatsby

so I'd sort of had about six months of dresses and diamonds

and, you know, being very girly and then this which is a dark wig

and a polo neck and swearing and sort of marching around.

And you didn't meet the Coen brothers, you filmed yourself?

I did an audition in my hotel room, yeah.

I sort of did a little selfie audition.

-What? On your phone?

-Yeah.

-Technology, yeah.

-And what did you do? What did you give them?

I gave them angry, angry...

It was a scene from the movie, sort of angry American.

And did you have a friend holding the phone or did you hold it

-out like that and go...?

-Yeah, my friend...

I did two, actually.

I did one audition where I was just

so excited to get to audition for the Coen brothers cos

I never thought I'd get to send them anything that they would see

so I did an audition after a dinner where I'd had a few drinks

with some friends and I was a bit tipsy

and I thought that that would be a great time to do the audition cos

when you've had a few drinks then your accent is better, generally.

Everyone agrees.

LAUGHTER

But when I have to do American accents, I drink. No.

So I had a few drinks and then I was like, "Maybe she should be

"eating", cos Brad Pitt does that and that looks great so maybe...

He eats all the time in films.

It was this really drunk audition where

I was eating this chocolate bar and was literally about to press

send and send it to Joel Coen and my friend was like, "Maybe wait.

-"Just see it in the morning." And then, thank God.

-Save it as a draft.

Yeah.

Just use it as a rehearsal and then I did another one.

-Well, listen, we've got a clip and in fact, it is you singing.

-Oh.

Yeah. Do you like singing?

Ehhh, I mean...I mean, I can sort of, yeah, well...

Why do I have such a long answer?

It's not a car at stake or anything.

LAUGHTER

-Then what am I doing here?

-I hope I get this right!

Do I like singing? I don't know.

Anyway, like it or not, this is you and Justin Timberlake singing.

There's someone special in the audience tonight who'll maybe

get up and help me out here if you give a round of applause.

-I don't have my guitar.

-I know that you folks know 'em and love 'em.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jim and Jean.

-APPLAUSE

-Oh.

GUITAR BEGINS FOLK SONG

# If you missed the train I'm on

# You will know that I am gone

# You can hear the whistle blow

# 100 miles

-ALL:

-# 100 miles, 100 miles

# 100 miles, 100 miles

# You can hear the whistle blow

# 100 miles. #

Beautiful.

APPLAUSE

Hey, now, listen, we've got Oscar winners and Oscar nominees,

you know, that'll happen.

LAUGHTER

-If you've been nominated, you're getting there.

-Absolutely.

It's all good.

But it's interesting in any career when you know that you've made it.

Bob, do you remember the first time you thought to yourself,

"Ooh, I'm a bit famous"?

I think after Godfather II, that's probably when things changed.

I had done movies before then

and I remember I was on the unemployment line once after

having done a few films and having leads in features and stuff

but I was still on the unemployment line.

There was an actor who I knew who had done one film

and he was in that grace period where you do the movie

and it's being cut and you're waiting for it

so everybody's very optimistic and he told me,

"I don't read scripts, they send them to me,

"they go here, the casting director" so I said,

"You've got to take advantage of it now otherwise, I don't know."

So the movie opened and it was done by a very well-known director

who had a big success at first.

So, that day,

I went to the theatre up on the East Side of New York

and the theatre was empty, the guy was sitting there,

he was upset, it was a total disaster

and I found myself saying, "You were good but the movie was..."

DROWNED OUT BY LAUGHTER

Presumably, you must have been quite well-known

when you were driving a taxi, preparing for Taxi Driver.

No, I wasn't.

I drove for a couple of weeks, people recognised me

or they thought through the mirror, but, yeah.

So, no-one thought, "Oh, how weird, he's won an Oscar

-"and now he's driving a taxi."

-No, actually, one person recognised me.

And they must have thought it was very strange.

No, I said, "I'm doing research on a movie."

And they were like, "Yeah, poor him."

LAUGHTER

Now, I didn't realise until you guys were coming on that, in fact,

you're in Grudge Match, but it goes all the way back that

Taxi Driver and Rocky were up for Oscars at the same time.

Exactly and actually,

they were at the theatres right next door to one another

so I'd go out and go, "Hmmm." So I'd take

pictures like Rocky would be like that, the picture like that.

And here we are.

And on the night, was Rocky a shoo-in or...?

No, no, it was actually...

About four or five elderly ladies with umbrellas were trampling me,

I had to get out of the theatre, I mean it was like the first ten

minutes, they go, "Who is this greasy guy?

"He's got a crooked mouth", and then eventually, it caught on,

but it was not, by any means, magic, that first day, it was a horror.

Cos I always assumed it was just sort of Hollywood folklore

but the story about you not giving them

the script without agreeing you to starring in it.

-That is true?

-Oh, yeah. Definitely.

It was one of those crossroads situations that every artist

faces early on - go left, go right, and if you make the wrong

decision, sometimes you regret it for ever and I just knew...

I wasn't a very good student but I always understood dialogue

so I wrote something that I knew I could do, that I could feel

good with and I could show everything that is possible in my repertoire.

They said, "Well, yeah, it's great,

"but let's have Ryan O'Neal do it or let's have Burt Reynolds do it

"or Robert Redford do it"

so they're bringing up all these bankable names and I said,

"No, I don't think so", and at that time, I had to sell my dog,

we didn't have enough food.

I said, "One of us doesn't eat, it's either you, my wife or the dog."

So it was one of those things where you really roll the dice

and it paid off but it was a big long-shot.

Because you talked about selling your dog,

-I don't know why, we've got a picture of the dog.

-Do you really?

-We do have a picture of the dog. Is that the dog?

-That's it.

-You can see why I couldn't feed him.

-Yeah.

-Is that a mastiff?

-It's a buffalo, a bull mastiff.

-Bull mastiff.

-Yeah.

That's the dog.

I don't know why, even when I was totally broke,

I always wanted to have an animal with me

and I mean, literally, I was, as an usher, making 36 a week,

that was it,

so I bought this dog, that meant I don't eat.

Maybe that or you eat the dog, it's one of these.

-The story has a happy ending.

-It does.

So finally, I get the job, I go back to the fella that I sold it to

who now won't give it back and he's a little short guy, really short...

Did he ride the dog?

I think the dog had turned into a piece of furniture,

I mean, he literally used it as a bed or something.

So he paid me like 60 for the dog, he goes,

"I'll give you the dog for 3,000." I said, "I don't have 3,000."

He goes, "All right, I want to be in the movie."

So I put him in the movie.

-LAUGHTER

-So he's in Rocky?

Yeah, he's in a little scene.

I'm walking, he goes, "How'd you do last night?"

I say, "I did great, you should have been there."

He says, "How'd you do?"

I said, "What? Are you deaf?"

He goes, "No, I'm short."

LAUGHTER

Say the line or get out!

All right, it's time for some music.

This young man has just nabbed a Brits nomination

for Best British Male Solo Artist.

Performing A Song About Love, it is Mr Jake Bugg.

CHEERING

MUSIC: "A Song About Love" by Jake Bugg

# Tell me all the things you do

# You tell me that it's up to you

# Crying in the peaceful night

# Telling all the things you hide

# But out there in the future

# Maybe you're the rainbow

# There's no song without love

# With your eyes shut, you cry in your bed

# Is that what you wanted?

# Songs about love?

# Is that what you hoped you would find

# When it's burning inside

# But a song about love's not enough

# So what do you want?

# What are you needing?

# Songs about memories that hide and then shatter your mind

# Like a constant reminder

# I just want to find where you are

# I just want to find where you are

# I hold you and your eyes fall down

# You barely even make a sound

# Crying in the peaceful night

# Telling all the things you hide

# But out there in the future

# Maybe you're the rainbow

# There's no song without love

# With your eyes shut, you cry in your bed

# Is that what you wanted?

# Songs about love?

# Is that what you hoped you would find when it's burning inside

# But a song about love's not enough

# So what do you want?

# What are you needing?

# Songs about memories that hide and then shatter your mind

# Like a constant reminder

# I just want to find where you are

# I just want to find where you are

# I just want to find where you are. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Whoa!

Jake Bugg, everybody! Whoo!

Come and join me.

Well done, beautiful. Come and sit down.

You have yourself a seat there.

Jonah, Jake, Carey, Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone.

-Well done. Beautiful, really sweet song.

-Oh, cheers, man.

Very sweet song and that's from the second album, Shangri La,

which'll be out now.

Congratulations on the Brits nomination.

Oh, thank you, I didn't know what you were talking about.

Well, no, cos I wasn't sure whether to say it to you or not cos

-I didn't know if you knew that you'd been nominated.

-Yeah, I knew, but...

-Oh, right.

-LAUGHTER

-What did you think I was talking about?

-It could have been anything.

Well, it could have been anything, yeah, you could've...

Congratulations. On your life.

Em, no, so it's very good, you're

nominated for Best British Male Solo Artist, that's the good news.

Bad news is you are up against David Bowie.

Yeah, hopefully he won't turn up though.

Do you know who else you're up against? David Bowie and?

-Um, no, who else is doing it?

-I don't know.

LAUGHTER

It's your nomination.

They won't give it to you if you're not interested.

They'll watch this, they'll think, "He doesn't want to win it."

You've got to fight for these things, Jake. Come on, you want it!

It's nice to be nominated but, you know, if I win or not,

I'm still going to carry on doing what I'm doing so...

That is true, yes. But you'll have a prize, Jake.

I've got no room in my suitcase for that.

Talk to the winners, talk to the nominees, see who's happier.

You want a prize.

CHEERING

Right, before we go tonight,

just time for a story in the red chair so who be there?

-Hello!

-Hello.

-Hi, how are you?

-I'm good, thank you.

-Now, what's your name?

-My name is Lana.

-Lana and where are you from, Lana?

-Australia.

-Oh, lovely.

-And do you live here now?

-Yes, I do.

-What do you do?

I'm a graphic designer.

-HE GASPS

-She's a graphic designer, everyone, oooh.

Nice.

LAUGHTER

Jake Bugg couldn't care less, Lana.

He's bored of your life. OK.

Off you go with your story, Lana.

Oh, well, basically, tonight was very exciting for me

because from the time I was about 13 years old, I used to have a

kind of fantasy or dream about Mr Stallone being my father.

-You know what, can I?

-Yeah.

-Ah!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

She may be, I might be, this is scary.

-Oh, my God.

-Were you in Australia 25 years ago?

No man wants to hear that.

LAUGHTER

-You like the fantasy bit, yeah.

-Oh, my God, we've hit a low.

OK, let's have someone else.

-Hello.

-Hi.

AUDIENCE MEMBER CHEERS

-Oh, someone's applauding you. What's your name?

-I'm Kate.

-Kate?

-Yeah.

-Lovely and where are you from?

-I'm from where you're from.

LAUGHTER

-I'm from Bandon.

-Oh, you're from Bandon?

-Yeah!

-Oh, how lovely.

-Are you just over for the weekend?

-No, I live here now.

-I've been here about four months.

-Oh, great.

You've really lost the accent.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Off you go with your story.

OK, so the story goes that two years ago, it was exam time

in the university, and I was driving home from the library and I met...

Goodbye!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Life is too short.

OK, well done, everyone.

If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in the red chair,

you can, just contact us via our website at this very address.

Thank you to all my guests tonight.

Mr Jake Bugg,

Jonah Hill,

Carey Mulligan,

Robert De Niro

and Sylvester Stallone.

Join me next week with musical guest Keane,

star of the hit show Girls, Lena Dunham,

BAFTA-winning actress Olivia Colman,

Long Walk To Freedom's Idris Elba

and movie star Michael Fassbender. I'll see you then.

Good night, everybody, goodbye!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE