Episode 10 The Graham Norton Show

On the show tonight, Chris Hemsworth is here.

Yeah, he's the star of the new whaling movie,

In The Heart Of The Sea.

Wait a minute!

There she blows. Argh!

Let's start the show.

This programme contains some strong language.

Oh, oh.

Yes. Yes.

Oh, welcome.

Welcome, all.

Great show tonight. As well as Chris,

it's the first-time appearances from comic Kevin Bridges, director

Ron Howard and the comedy legend that is Lily Tomlin, so excited, yes.

And we'll be getting in the Christmas mood with music from Blake

and Dame Shirley Bassey. Yes.

Your actual Dame Shirley will be over there and there.

She will! No, seriously. It's Christmassy.

Now, of course, Chris and Ron are here with the new

film In The Heart Of The Sea where Chris plays a fearless whale hunter.

The story takes place on a ship called the Essex

and was the original inspiration for the novel Moby Dick.

Funnily enough, if you Google the words Essex and Dick,

this is what you get.

APPLAUSE

Try it, try it. That is what happens.

It is a very exciting story, though. No, it really is an exciting story.

The whale sinks the ship and leaves the crew marooned in a lifeboat.

Yes. To survive, they resort to cannibalism. Awful.

Here's that lifeboat three weeks later.

LAUGHTER

Couldn't eat another sailor!

Let's get the guests on.

First up, at the age of only 29,

this Glaswegian comedian has had a remarkable rise to success

and last year sold more tickets than any other comic in the UK.

Please welcome Kevin Bridges.

Here he is.

How are you, sir?

You're very welcome. Very nice to see you.

He went from child star to become one of the world's most successful

directors, making Splash, Parenthood, Apollo 13,

The Grinch and A Beautiful Mind.

Now he brings us In The Heart Of The Sea.

It's the Oscar-winning Ron Howard.

That's Ron Howard. Hello.

Lovely to see you.

Grab a seat.

And this heart-throb exploded onto the big screen as Thor

and has gone on to incredible success with The Avengers,

The Huntsman and the James Hunt biopic Rush.

It is the fabulous Chris Hemsworth, everybody.

APPLAUSE

Hello. Lovely to see you. I'm really well.

Have a seat there.

And...

..this lady is one of America's greatest comedy talents.

She is the star of Nashville, 9 To 5, All Of Me.

Seven Emmys, two Tonys and a Grammy to her name,

she is now Oscar-tipped for her new movie, Grandma.

It is a huge pleasure to welcome the one and only Lily Tomlin, everybody.

APPLAUSE

So, did you all meet backstage?

Was there kind of showbiz mingling behind the curtain?

-Quick, a quick mingle.

-OK.

-A little bit, yeah.

-We got a lot done.

Lovely.

No, because Ron and you,

-you've never worked together, Ron and Lily?

-Never worked together.

I met one time because I went to see a one-woman show that Lily did many years ago.

I don't remember the name of the show, but in it was... You took

this picture and you were playing this character that went "Soup, art - art, soup."

-Yeah.

-What was the name of the show?

The Search For Signs Of Intelligent Life.

LAUGHTER

You should really get in one of his films...

-I hope I'm going to be in his next one.

-They do well.

Ron Howard, do you know off the top of your head,

-how much money your films have made?

-Well, I actually don't.

Well, I can tell you.

Ron Howard, this is incredible.

Ron Howard's films have made, so far,

3.5 billion.

BILLION dollars.

APPLAUSE

Sounds like I need a conversation with my lawyer and...

You should start your own country or something. That's a lot of money.

And Kevin, I was saying in the introduction,

your success is extraordinary.

I'm sitting beside the guy that's pulled in 3.5 billion dollars.

My success has been all right.

Sorry to bring you down. You walk out here high as a kite.

And now, it's like...

But no, you must get stopped in the street and stuff like that now.

Aye, usually by people collecting for charity.

I got asked to sign 25 copies,

25 pirate copies, of my own DVD.

LAUGHTER

That takes balls, man.

-Of course, I signed them.

-Of course you did.

-Now, Lily, can you understand anything Kevin said?

-Not much.

-No.

I got something about balls at the end. Is that what he said?

Yeah, he said balls. Yeah, he did say balls.

-Can you seriously not understand?

-Not very much.

I was going to kind of question him as he was going along, but...

I actually tried my show in America. I've done one gig.

A guy complimented me, approached me after the set and he goes,

"Man, are you ACTUALLY Scottish?"

And I said, "Yes".

And he goes, "Fuck, man. Your English is pretty good."

LAUGHTER

Because talking of Scottish, cos Chris Hemsworth,

you did Scottish in The Huntsman?

Yeah, it was a Celtic vibe(!)

I had a great review that told me it was the worst Glaswegian accent

since The Fat Bastard.

I wasn't doing Glaswegian, though.

-That was in my defence.

-It was your Celtic vibe.

It was a Celtic fantasy,

Snow White world, Scottish influenced kind of accent,

so that gives you a whole broad range to do whatever the hell you want.

But I hear little bits in there. I understood little bits.

It was pretty... Yeah.

"I understood little bits!"

The compliments are flying in!

I just need to laugh. I was...

I think that's why we die so young in Scotland.

Cos it's just exhausting.

It's so much more effort.

You need to translate in your head and then...

-Have you performed in Australia, though?

-Yes. Yes, I've done...

We love you. I swear to God, I love you.

Yeah, I've played Australia.

I've not played Scotland, but I've played Australia

and by the reaction, I'm amazed that I went over at all.

What do you mean?

I'm just saying, they seem to understand Kevin very well.

LAUGHTER

-But we're not in Australia now.

-No! No, I understand that. I'm just...

And I'm even having trouble with Chris a little bit.

Do you understand me?

-I can understand you.

-Well, that's the main thing.

-Yeah.

-We'll talk!

I find there's references as well,

you need to change certain references when you perform.

Are you talking to me?

LAUGHTER

Lily Tomlin, you bring us such a sweet, lovely, funny film. Grandma.

It opens next Friday, the 11th. Is Grandma quite close to you?

Well, she could be many things. I drove my own car.

-Never late for work!

-No, right.

No, it's a very funny, interesting kind of important movie.

So, in broad strokes, what is the story of Grandma?

Well, the story is, Grandma is a lesbian poet.

Feminist lesbian poet, who's been...

This is not a film that will become a blockbuster, right, in your terms?

I'm not talking to you.

LAUGHTER

-OK.

-And there's a lot of stuff that's gone on.

She's been in a relationship for 38 years

and her partner has died like a year or so before, a couple of years,

and her granddaughter shows up on her doorstep and has become pregnant

and needs an abortion and so then the story is kind of a road trip.

I mean, the grandmother's kind of very cantankerous and ornery

and rails against injustice and...

All that stuff.

I think the idea of having a funny, sweet abortion road movie is

so unlikely. And yes, it is. It's a new genre.

It's kind of a new genre.

It is. Never to be repeated.

I love the film. It's very wonderful.

It really is. You are terrific in it.

This is a little clip and this is the start of the road trip

when there's a problem with the car.

Oh, God, I didn't wake you up again, did I?

-No.

-Oh, good. So glad.

-She's already pregnant.

-Grandma!

-Just saying.

I see the hormones popping.

No ideas. We're good! Here, give it a try.

Oh, it's working.

RAP MUSIC

Nice tunes!

-Listen, thanks.

-Any time.

-Take it to the shop and get it checked out.

-It runs good.

Hey, congratulations.

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

Isn't that good!

Now, I don't want to jinx it, it's a terrible thing, you must hate this,

-but with Grandma...

-Yes?

..there is that terrible phrase, "Oscar buzz" about it,

which you must be aware of.

-Yes, I am.

-Yeah.

-I mean, I've certainly been exposed to it.

Yes. So how do you manage your expectations?

Well, I don't have any expectations, truly.

What I would like to do, if I did get nominated and I did win,

assuming I'll be there, I would like to have, you know, a...

-I would be very humble, of course.

-Of course.

And I'd have a box built with... You know, they'd wheel the box out

and I would open it up and there'd be everything else in there.

Emmys and Tonys and...

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-And what's the other thing that's in there?

-Grammys?

A Grammy. Only one Grammy.

And so then I would open it

and there would be a niche prepared in there.

And I could take the Oscar and put it in there.

But I don't think it's going to happen.

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

And Jane, your partner, you've written together for years?

Well, Jane is really the writer. I'm not much of a writer.

Is she a bit miffed that you've now wandered off

-and made a film with somebody else?

-No, she's quite pleased...

She's quite pleased because it's pretty successful.

But working with people you're close to... Like, Chris, you and Liam,

are you finally going to be in a film together?

-Your brother, Liam, obviously.

-Er... I don't know, we're looking.

-It'd be nice if the right thing came along, sure.

-Oh, I'd read that

you'd found something. You haven't found something?

-HESITANTLY:

-No... No! What! What have we found?!

Ron?

It's an abortion road movie...

Two brothers...

Who's the father?

-Now, was he also up for Thor?

-He was, yeah.

I auditioned and then didn't get the part and then they auditioned him

and he basically got down to the last, like, four people

and then didn't get it and then I came back in and...

And how was that at home? Cool?

That's like real sibling rivalry! That's like, yeah...

Was it all right? It must have been a bit weird. A bit awks.

We still don't talk that much.

But we never did! No, it was fine.

I don't know whether he's bitter or not,

but he did post this picture of his... This is real!

This is his dog with a chew toy which looks familiar.

-One of the arms is chewed off, look at that!

-Yeah.

-That hammer was delicious!

-It was.

Cos, Ron Howard, you work with your family, like, all the time.

Whenever I can. My brother Clint's an actor. My father Rance

is still acting in his eighties and working all the time.

I love to work with them.

Your mom sadly is no longer with us, but she did get a part in...

Was it Apollo 13?

Apollo 13, she had a really nice role, which almost didn't happen

because I got this call from my dad and he said,

"You know, I just read the rewrite on Apollo 13."

And I said, "Yeah?" And he said, "There's a new part in there."

I said, "Yes, there is. Jim Lovell's mother." I said, "Yeah,

"she's got a nice scene." I said, "Yeah."

"Do you know who would be really good for that?"

"Who do you think, Dad?" "Your mom."

And I... "Boy, I don't know. I'd have to audition her."

And he said, "Well, fine." And so...

And my mom was all for that. And she said, "I don't want to do it

"if Ronny doesn't think I can do it."

So I went over to their house and we worked through the scene

and she was great and we did it in a couple of takes.

And she was... I'd never been prouder.

She even got written up in the New York Times review.

And it wound up being a great moment.

She played Jim Lovell's mother.

It would have been worse if you HADN'T given her the part

after the audition. "Yeah, this isn't going to work out."

I'll tell you what's really bad.

My dad's an actor, I cast him whenever it's appropriate, you know.

And here's the call I've had to make to him.

"Hey, Dad, you know, you did great,

"er, but, you know, the movie was a little long..."

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

And next would be... "Am I in it at all?"

"Maybe in the extended DVD cut."

So that's a tough call.

But he's an old warhorse, he understands.

And, Kevin, your dad, cos you started so young,

your dad was really kind of important in your career?

My dad used to drive me to the gigs

cos I was too young to perform in the clubs.

So they'd make... As long as I brought along a parent,

which was pretty uncool...

Having to bring a note in saying you're all right to go on stage

in these comedy clubs. And he used to drive me, aye,

everywhere, all over Scotland.

But you've rewarded them handsomely. You gave your parents a lovely trip -

was it the Orient Express you sent them on?

Aye, my dad's always had a thing for trains. He's always wanted to go on

the Orient Express. So for their anniversary a couple of years ago,

I got them the trip. And my dad is the only guy

who's ever missed the train.

He got off at Innsbruck Station to send me a text.

And he's used to, like, talking to me on the phone

when I've been on trains and going,

"Dad, I'm on the train, the signal's pretty bad."

So he presumes that you cannot send a text from a train.

What I mean is, I'm driving through, like, cross-country.

So he gets off before the train's due to depart and starts sending me

this big, long text, just going, "Son, we've been wined and dined,

"I'm gazing at the Tyrolean Mountains."

And he's done the spell-check on Tyrolean.

And I'm reading this text and I'm kind of filling up, just going,

"Aw, he's really had a good time." And it just goes, "Shite."

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

And it's went, "The train has just left, can you call me?"

I'm thinking it's a wind-up, so I've ignored it.

And then another text comes in going, "Call me, son."

So I phoned him, it does the international ringtone.

And he's going, "Oh, I just got off to send that text.

"Your mum's on there, she's got the passports...

"I'm in Innsbruck Station."

I was going, "You need to go to Information

"and try and explain to someone."

And he goes, "But they don't know what I'm saying.

"I don't speak any German." And I went, "Or English!"

So they just think it's just an excited Scottish guy

that's seen the Orient Express.

And eventually he's explained what's happened. And they got him a taxi

and he had to... They contacted somebody on the train to pull in

at this kind of regional stop.

And my dad, it was a high-speed sort of chase.

He managed to catch the train and he got on

and he got a standing ovation.

Aw, that's cute!

Now, Chris and Ron, your movie, I was saying to you back there,

it is such an epic tale, a real beast of a film.

In the Heart of the Sea, it opens here on Boxing Day.

The day after Christmas, that's what that is.

And obviously, it's a Ron Howard film.

But this was your baby, Chris, you had this script.

So how did this happen?

We had just done Rush and I had In the Heart of the Sea with...

Paula Weinstein brought it to myself and my manager, Will Ward.

And we basically were looking for a director.

And I think we were in the ADR booth and you said,

"If you have anything else you want to do, let me know."

And I said, "Actually, yes, I do."

Handed him the script and said, "Yeah, if you're not sick of me,

"let's go again." And we did.

But I was saying... I don't have a great work ethic,

I think I would have read this script and thought, "It's very good,

"but it sounds really hard to make.

"I really cannot be arsed."

-I actually...

-AUDIENCE LAUGHS

You know, there is an ambitious streak that I have

and that I follow. Look, this was kind of a life experience,

making this kind of movie. It's a sort of personal adventure.

I'm not a very naturally adventurous person,

but the movies take me into these places.

I learn a lot that I wouldn't otherwise.

And I actually, when I first read it, I sort of thought,

"Well, they're just trying to find a way to kind of re-boot Moby-Dick."

And it is very hard and very challenging. And I didn't realise

it was based on real events.

So when I did and I started thinking about it and I said,

"Well, it's not a monster movie."

This whale is not like the shark in Jaws. It's not a predator.

This is more like King Kong. This is like a force of nature awakened

by man, man's greed.

And I felt like there were a lot of themes that were contemporary

and very relatable, surprisingly relatable. And yet, also,

the big epic adventure story.

Well, listen, the clip really captures the scale of the film.

This is Chris Hemsworth taking on the whale.

Never seen a whale do that.

Take the wheel.

-Secure the other end of the line to the foremast.

-Aye, sir!

As I live and breathe, he's mine.

HE GRUNTS WITH EFFORT

MEN SCREAM

-Cut the line!

-Look out!

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

I feel like I've seen the whole film. Other stuff happens as well!

That would be enough.

You'd go home, "Thank you very much, that was very good."

-That's just a turning point.

-Extraordinary, extraordinary.

-Was that a real whale?

-No, no. CGI whale.

No whales were injured or pestered in the making of the movie.

So that was a model that was made?

It was a complete CGI whale. You know, technology was such a factor

in this movie. A lot of things we shot in the way that movies

have been made for 100 years. But I wouldn't have tackled this movie

if you had to use a giant puppet or something like that,

where the audience has to kind of suspend their disbelief.

-Yeah.

-After seeing Life of Pi, I realised that this technology

was there and that we could make a movie that was totally immersive,

and let this character have its due.

Let it be a living, breathing force.

And for Chris, it must be odd, you hear about all the CGI.

You're thinking, "CGI, my arse, I did all this!"

You really had to do it.

You had to jump and fall and swim...

Yeah, it was one of the, I think,

the most physically challenging things I've ever done.

We had to do, as you say, all kinds of action and so on.

And navigating the ship and learning to row the whale boats and so on

and throw harpoons. Then there was the weight loss sort of thing

-we were all going through.

-Oh, yeah, this picture's been everywhere,

this of you.

Eurgh!

Who's that?!

-That's Liam.

-AUDIENCE LAUGHS

He likes to drink!

But to get down to that weight, so what are you...

You know, I read somewhere that it was 500 calories or something.

Well, we started one diet and slowly each week dwindled down

-to about 500, 600 calories.

-And what is that? Like, physically,

-what are you eating that is 500 calories a day?

-Like, a piece of fish

and some lettuce. Or if you have, like... It's funny, you do all these

sort of trade-offs. Like, "If I have this piece of chocolate,

"then I won't be able to have the fish, but then I can have this..."

And it's all this crazy kind of insanity which happened.

And, of course, Kevin, you can relate to this film

because you actually own a boat, don't you?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-You own a boat!

-Yes. I thought you were going to say because

I've seen Free Willy!

I do have a boat. I'm fully aware of the dangers of the sea, man.

I had to make a distress call this summer...

in Loch Lomond cos we got a...

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

We got a bag of cans wrapped round the propeller on the boat.

We were having a few beers. It was a maiden voyage.

And my mate complained that his beers were room temperature,

which is potentially fatal on a boating trip.

And my other buddy suggested that we tie the bag of beers

onto one of the ropes and throw it off the boat, into the water.

Great idea.

And then we forgot about the beers.

We were driving off and the engine failed. We never knew why.

Had to phone up the SOS dude.

He came out. He dives under, comes back up, going,

"There's a box of Magners in an Oddbins bag wrapped round..."

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Kevin Bridges, ladies and gentlemen, he has a DVD out now.

-It's out now.

-Yes.

-It's called A Whole Different Story.

-There it is.

-Is this the tour that you're just finishing?

-Yes, just finishing up.

-So there's 11 more dates.

-11 more dates to go.

So don't buy it before you go to see one of those 11 dates.

You're not supposed to say that, Graham!

But, aye, don't buy it before you go.

That's why I had to lose weight, to fit into the I!

You'd have been Kev-on!

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

-It was recorded in Glasgow two months ago.

-Oh, right.

-And it's very much the story of how your life has changed...

-Yes.

..with success. Because you live in quite a ritzy area now.

Yes. Well, yes.

-Not quite LA or anything.

-No.

I live in Glasgow, but I live in a nicer bit of Glasgow!

Listen, we've got a very quick clip.

This is you talking about some of the people you meet

in your new neighbourhood.

They call me Mr Bridges, the kids in my street.

I don't feel intimidated physically.

I feel intellectually intimidated by the gangs of youths in my street.

-POSH ACCENT:

-"Mr Bridges...

"Mr Bridges, how are we? How are we, Mr Bridges?

"The family and I sat down to one of your performances on the television

"over the festive period, Mr Bridges.

"A tad coarse in places.

"However, I would be lying if I said

"I didn't allow myself a chuckle, Mr Bridges."

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

I never knew you were going to show a clip,

or I'd have worn a different suit, man!

Now, a lot of people have tough gigs,

lots of stand-up comics talk about tough gigs,

but you've played prisons, haven't you? Or, at least, a prison.

Yes. At the start, very tough. These days, you're playing to, like,

what's that, 10,000 people. So somebody's going to laugh.

But at the start... A prison, that's right, I had a guy who stood up.

It was a gig for inmates in this prison in Scotland

and a guy stood up about ten minutes into the show

and just went back to his cell.

So that's like...

AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS

"Oh, this guy's shite, I'm away to finish my life sentence!"

That's right, a gig in a prison.

Because, Lily Tomlin, you've also done a gig in a prison.

-I have, many times.

-It's the place to be, Graham.

-You should host a chat show in a prison.

-No!

No, cos you had a scary time in prison.

Well, they could be construed as scary. I mean, what happened is,

one time, I was playing at a women's prison in California.

They wore regular clothing, so you didn't know who was an inmate

or who wasn't, you know?

And Jane was with me, my partner,

and she's very chatty and gets to talking to everybody and she was

having a long conversation with a woman who'd killed her boyfriend

over a peanut butter sandwich.

She found that out towards the end of the conversation.

And I had to play for the newcomers who had been in, like, 15 days

or less and they're just, like, civilians.

And then you play for the hard-timers at the end of the night,

that's brutal. And then you play for the psychiatric

in the middle of the day, like, in a sunroom.

I'd stand on the table almost, you know,

because there was no stage or anything.

And there was a woman sitting there, she was smoking and then, all of

a sudden, she'd be watching me and listening to me and she'd go...

SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

And she'd get up and run. There were two doors. It was like a farce.

She'd run out that door and next, she'd come back in this door

and sit on that side of the house

and do the same thing in a few minutes.

So anyway, that was mild compared to the hard-timers.

But there was a young girl with a pleated skirt and brown hair, long,

heavy, rich, you know, rich girl's hair, like I feel that people have.

And she says, "Lily, I'm going to review you for the prison paper."

And I said, "Oh, my gosh. Well, OK."

And she says, "Don't worry, I'll be kind."

And she turned out to be one of the Manson women.

EVERYONE GASPS That's extraordinary.

And I have her review still in my files.

-Oh, and was it kind?

-No.

Not in my book.

-Not kind enough!

-No, not kind enough.

Why were you in prison, Chris Hemsworth?

Isn't that the question that you start the show with?

No, it was research. I did a movie about a guy...

It was research.

"I'm in for research!"

-Armed research!

-Armed research, robbery, yeah.

-Do you have a story to tell?

-No, you go on.

-Because I'm so taken...

I'm trying to listen to Kevin.

A couple of stories back, it was the story about...

I don't even know what the story was about.

You were saying, you kept saying, "Beels, beels."

-What is that?

-Beels? Bills?

-Beers!

-Beers?!

Beers. Beers. Beers. All right, so that was about beers? OK.

That's a "beel".

-Beer.

-And then just now when you were talking about

playing a prison, you said...

-I can't imitate it.

-Go for it.

-No, I can't. I'm going to try,

but it's going to be terrible.

You can go for it, Chris, and you can try your...Celtic.

Listen.

-BAD SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-"This gay... This gay stands..."

And I'm thinking, "Well, he must be saying a gay person stood up."

-Oh, no, no. It wasn't that...

-I finally got that it was a guy.

A guy. Yes. One vowel away.

Maybe he was prison gay.

It's actually quite a good gig in the prison. I had quite a good show,

cos I just did a routine about...

You're looking at me the way the dog looks at me!

-Sorry!

-"Is he saying out? Is he saying treat?"

I done this joke about how, attempted murder,

you get a lesser sentence than you get for murder,

but you still tried it.

Just because you weren't very good at it...

In my opinion, you should get double the sentence

for making an arse of it, right?

So I done this joke and there's these murderers pointing over

at attempted murderers going, "Ah, that's you, mate, that's you!"

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

It was strange.

So what did I just say there, Chris? If you just want to...

-Murderers.

-Murders. Did you get that?

-Murders.

No, I didn't get that.

You said murders? It was like mudders?

-Murrrder.

-Murrrder.

-M-U-R.

-Mur-der.

-D-U-R.

-Oh, my gosh.

SHOUTING: Why were you in prison, Chris?

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

-SCOTTISH ACCENT:

-Murder.

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

Murders.

Why did I go to prison? I was researching a film and we had to

go in and basically see what the inside of a prison looked like

and speak with prisoners who were willing to talk to us.

And I walked in and I remember thinking...

I had my ponytail, long, blonde hair and I had a hat on.

-LILY LAUGHS ALONE

-And the wardens...

EVERYONE LAUGHS

I think Lily knows where this is going!

So I spent the night...!

And the warden said, "You can't wear a hat" and so on,

and I said, "OK, no worries." I thought, "Oh, shit,

"they're going to know who I am." But I thought, "No, they don't get

"Thor in here, they're not going to watch movies and..."

I don't know, I'd never been to prison.

So I assumed that and the moment I started walking through the cells,

and it's like H Block of this thing, it's all just kind of, you know,

cell upon cell and so on and...

I just start getting heckled.

And it's like, "Yo, yo, Thor is here, man! Yo, Thor!

"Yo, Thor's here! Thor, Thor!

"Where's your hammer, man?"

And I'm, like, trying to blend in and research

and just getting heckled left and right.

"Yo, come and spend some time in my cell, baby!"

-I've got my long hair and...

-"You'll do!"

Anyway, so that wasn't a whole lot of research, more just kind of...

-You survived it!

-Yeah, yeah.

Listen, very, very quickly, we're running out of time.

Ron, we must...we MUST mention where we found you first.

-Happy Days.

-Ah.

AUDIENCE CHEERS

You weren't in it for the whole time. It ran for years, but you...

Well, I stayed with it through my contract,

but by then I knew I wanted to be a director.

So I left to pursue that full time at the end of my contract,

which was 7.5 seasons. Oh, God!

-But it ran for, what, nine years?

-It went on for another four after that.

Wow. And what's odd now is that one of the things

that it's really remembered for is coming up with that phrase,

-"jumping the shark."

-Yes.

-So, if people don't know,

can you explain the jumping the shark episode?

Well, the show had gone and become really a number one hit,

very successful.

And along with it, there's sort of a culture around it

and sort of the mythology of the Fonzie character that started off

as a kind of normal guy and he kept getting more and more powerful.

Tapping on jukeboxes, snapping his fingers, girls would run,

everything would happen.

But audiences loved it and it was really working.

So finally they decided that they would start off season...

I think it was probably season five or six.

..with the biggest thing ever -

Fonzie was going to water ski

and jump over a white shark.

And so they had Henry out in this jacket.

I loved it because I was driving the boat.

I thought driving the boat was fun.

Henry happened to be a very good skier and loved skiing.

We did it. But people tended

to think, years later,

that that was the point where the show

had kind of gone beyond the pale.

And suddenly they started saying, you know,

that that was the Happy Days'...

Jumping the shark was the moment when it sort of reached its high

and sort of came down.

The reality is it remained a number one show for a long time.

And after I left the show, it was a top-ratings getter.

So I don't know how accurate that is, but - jump the shark.

No, it is awful where a TV show just drags on for series after series

until everyone gets bored to death.

Time for music!

And we're going all Christmassy now.

This is the first little bit of Christmas on the show.

This year, best-selling classical boyband Blake

have done something really special.

To perform a beautiful new version of Christmas Song, they've teamed up

with a musical legend.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Blake and Dame Shirley Bassey!

# Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

# Jack Frost nipping at your nose

# Yuletide carols being sung by a choir

# And folks dressed up like Eskimos

# Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe

# And some mistletoe

# Helps to make the season bright

# Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow

# Will find it hard to sleep tonight

# They know that Santa's on his way

# He's on his way

# He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh

# Oh, that's right

# And every mother's child is gonna spy

# To see if reindeer really know how to fly

# And so I'm offering this simple phrase

# To kids from one to ninety-two

# Although it's been said many times, many ways

# Merry Christmas to you

# They know that Santa's on his way

# He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh

# And every mother's child is gonna spy

# Is gonna spy

# To see if reindeer really know how to fly

# And so I'm offering this simple phrase

# To kids from one to ninety-two

# Although it's been said many times, many ways

# Merry Christmas

-# Merry Christmas

-Merry Christmas

-# Merry Christmas

-Merry Christmas

# To you. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Oh, how special!

Blake and Dame Shirley Bassey, everybody!

Come and join me!

Come on over! Hello, sir. Very nice to see you!

Hello, very nice to see you!

Steps! Steps!

-Hello, my darling.

-Hello! Mwah!

Dame Shirley Bassey, everybody!

-Sit here beside Kevin.

-OK.

-Go round, go round.

You'll blend in with the couch.

-Sit there with the boys.

-Hello, hi!

Thank you very much.

That's Dame Shirley Bassey who will now greet you all.

Lovely to meet you.

OVERLAPPING GREETINGS

And Lily!

Shirley, marvellous!

OK, now... Yes, there you go, perfect!

Perfect, perfect!

-Blake, I know there's a Humphrey and there's an Olly.

-I'm Olly.

-Are you are?

-Stephen.

-Steve.

That's a bit dull after the Olly and the Humphrey! Steve!

And Shirley, that's me!

And Dame Shirley Bassey!

You're Dame Shirley Bassey, but this drink... Thank you very much.

Can I just say, I don't mean to slag off the other guests,

but nobody else brought drinks.

This is your cocktail, Dame Shirley?

It's a cocktail named after me. The Dame Shirley Bassey cocktail

with champagne, vodka and... strawberries...raspberries!

I thought you said rat poison! I was like...

"That's quite a cocktail!"

Mixed chaser...

And real gold.

Real... Of course, with your finger!

-Goldfinger. Real gold!

-We thought we should have a drink, you know,

appropriate and they created this.

-Can we drink now?

-Yes!

Dame Shirley, "Can we drink now?!"

-There you go.

-Thank you!

-Sorry, audience, there was only... AUDIENCE:

-Aww!

You can have a sip of mine, if you like.

GRAHAM: If you're quick.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

That single is out on the 18th of December.

And this is special, because if God was good and it did become

a Christmas number one, it would be your very first Christmas number one.

Yes, I've never done a Christmas Carol ever.

-Have you never done a Christmas song before?!

-No! It's my very first.

You've missed a trick there!

The record company, for some unknown reason, every time I said,

"Please, can I do a Christmas album?" Even when I had number one

and number two in the hit parade, they said no.

I think they were afraid because of the voice.

They couldn't imagine me singing Silent Night.

# Silent night...! #

Here's also what's special. You are both raising money

-for charity with this record.

-We are.

-Blake, who are you raising money for?

We're ambassadors for Variety, the children's charity,

which is an amazing charity.

And Dame Shirley's is Noah's Ark in Cardiff.

My charity is a children's hospital in Cardiff.

They have rooms for parents to stay overnight.

That's really special. Good luck with the single. I really hope...

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

I really hope it's number one. It'd be terrific.

Hey, we probably have just enough time for a visit

to the big red chair. Who's there?

-Hello, sir!

-Hi, there.

-Hi, what's your name?

-It's Ricardo.

OK, what do you do?

I am a facilitator in creative thinking and innovation.

HE YAWNS

Oh, I want a go in that chair!

Let's try another one.

Who's this, who's this?

-Oh, hello.

-Hello!

-Hi, what's your name?

-Hi, I'm Jo Popham.

Jo Popham. OK...

-That is your first name and surname, right?

-Yes.

OK, good, otherwise it's a really weird name.

Jo Popham Smith!

So, Jopopham...

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

Where are you from, Jopopham?

Bookham in Surrey.

Jopopham of Bookham!

-What do you do?

-Well, primarily a mum of three teenage kids, but also

-cabin crew, or flight attendant for the Americans.

-Uh-oh.

Does your story involve anyone on our couch?

Nope.

OK. Good, let's go. Off you go with the story.

So, quite a few years ago, back in the '90s, we were on a flight

and we were told we were expecting a VIP passenger.

And the VIP's manager came on board into the premier cabin, obviously,

to prepare the seat for his employer.

And with that, we were told it was Michael Jackson's manager.

So he brought on all his things, was getting everything ready for him.

And he had the red Thriller jacket and he hung it up in the first-class

wardrobe and we were told to make sure to look after it

and that nobody unauthorised came on board.

So when he went off, I was always a bit naughty

and I thought it would be really fun

to get the jacket out of the wardrobe.

As I was dancing around the cabin, doing the Thriller dance,

the manager and Michael Jackson came back on board earlier than expected

and caught me dancing around the cabin in the red Thriller jacket.

That's a good story! You can walk, you can walk.

AUDIENCE APPLAUDS

Well done, everyone.

If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in the red chair,

you can contact us via our website at this address.

That's it for tonight. Please, a huge thank you to my guests,

Blake and Dame Shirley Bassey!

Kevin Bridges!

Ron Howard!

Chris Hemsworth!

And Lily Tomlin!

Join me next week with pop phenomenon Sia,

acting great Kurt Russell,

Oscar-winning director Quentin Tarantino

and comedy superstar Tina Fey.

I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody, goodbye!