Episode 12 The Graham Norton Show

I'm just putting the finishing touches on tonight's show.

I've got three shiny Star Wars celebs.

I've got a sparkly Kylie.

And I just need some golden baubles.

Can I have my golden balls, please? HE GASPS

It's David Beckham, everybody! CHEERING

Let's start the show!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Oh!

Oh! CHEERING

Oh!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas. Good evening, one. Good evening, all.

Oh! The golden balls, ladies and gentlemen.

LAUGHTER Mm. Still warm.

LAUGHTER

Now... BALLS CLUNK

Apparently, they bounce. LAUGHTER

A great show for you tonight.

And, of course, we will be talking about the new Star Wars movie.

But there's been actual space travel in the news this week.

Congratulations to British astronaut Tim Peake, everybody!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

How great is that?

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

Up in the Space Station.

And Tim, of course, spent years training for this mission,

including preparing to drink water

that's been recycled from urine.

I know. How on earth do you train for that?

Erm... LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE But let's get some guests on.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Later we'll be shooting the breeze with Mr David Beckham. Yeah.

CHEERING

But first, she's the definition of a pop princess.

She's sold over 70 million records worldwide and dazzled us

with her sell-out tours.

Now she's getting us in the festive spirit

with her first-ever Christmas album.

It's Kylie Minogue!

CHEERING Oh!

-Ah!

-Beautiful.

Fringy, slinky.

-Mwah and mwah.

-How are you?

Merry Christmas.

Hi!

As Star Wars fever grips the world once again,

this young couple are the home-grown stars

of the long-awaited The Force Awakens.

Please welcome Daisy Ridley and John Boyega!

CHEERING Oh! Oh! Oh!

-Hello!

-Hello.

-Hi.

Lovely to see you. Hello, sir.

-Hello, how are you?

-Very well. Really well.

Sit down, sit down, sit down.

And, reprising her role as the most famous princess

in the Star Wars galaxy,

it's a warm welcome back to actress, bestselling author

and one of my favourite people.

It's Carrie Fisher, everybody!

CHEERING

Gary Fisher!

GRAHAM LAUGHS

Hello. How are you?

MUFFLED SPEECH

Where are we going?

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Come on. Up we go.

I feel bad. I didn't introduce your friend.

And he's upset. Look at him.

Oh! LAUGHTER

This is Gary. And this is...

-That's Gary Fisher.

-This is Gary's bacon.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Oh, lovely little Gary. Very, very nice to see you.

Of course, Kylie. Kylie down there...

Now, Daisy and John, presumably, you're English,

-so you love and know Kylie very well.

-Yes.

-Yes.

-Well, no. I don't know if you love...

-Let's go with yes.

-OK, yes.

-Let's go with love. LAUGHTER

And, Carrie, are you familiar with Kylie...?

-I loathe her!

-LAUGHTER

I am familiar, but, because I'm American...

-nothing. I don't know.

-GRAHAM LAUGHS

Very big fan.

Kylie, I'm hoping, because of the conversation we are about to have,

that you are interested in Star Wars.

Have you seen Star Wars?

Yes. I mean, I was that...

I'm not much higher. I was about to say I was that high.

LAUGHTER

I was still waiting for my growth spurt.

No, Star Wars was huge when I was a kid.

I was high, too, but not that high.

-LAUGHTER

-I'm joking.

I'm joking!

APPLAUSE

I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. It was right there.

And thank you very much, Kylie,

because Star Wars brings all the excitement,

but you bring the Christmas,

because this is your first-ever Christmas album.

It's my first Christmas album.

I kind of dabbled in Christmas before with a couple of songs,

but, no, it has been full-tilt Chris...

-Christmas crackers is what's happened this year.

-But...

presumably, you've been living Christmas for months now,

-cos when did you record this?

-Yeah, since June, July.

-Wow.

-So I'm so excited you've all caught up and it's finally Christmas

-for all of us.

-LAUGHTER

What Christmas song are you singing for us later?

-Winter Wonderland.

-GRAHAM GASPS

CHEERING Lovely, very nice. Lovely.

We've got a special winter wonderland for you to do it in.

-Nice.

-Thank you.

-And, Daisy and John, so it's Christmas,

presumably, your families are just going to get

sacks of Star Wars crap for Christmas.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm looking to give them toys of myself.

Yes! LAUGHTER

What? What a lovely gift!

Yeah, I mean, it's me.

I'm just going to give you me.

-LAUGHTER CARRIE:

-Ha!

-I'm not.

-LAUGHTER

-You're going to buy real things?

-Yeah.

But you've no time to buy real things!

Well, I got my sister over from Australia.

So that was a nice gift.

-Where was it from Australia?

-That's a perfect gift.

-Oh, she's in Melbourne.

-Oh, nice.

-Yeah.

Sorry...

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

Now, here's the thing. So it is shrouded in secrecy, the whole thing.

We're not allowed to know anything.

So, Daisy, how long did you have to keep the secret of actually

being in it, that you'd got the part?

-Three months.

-No! Three months?

-Yeah.

-You had to tell someone in three months.

-Did you not know that?

-Oh, I told them when I got cast.

-I told the taxi driver.

-LAUGHTER

-I told him straight up.

-APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

-CARRIE:

-You didn't tell anybody?

You didn't tell anyone.

I said the other day, I did tell the taxi driver. I can't lie to you.

-I did. I did.

-Your family didn't know?

-No, my family didn't know.

-Yeah.

-The taxi driver did.

-LAUGHTER

I got in the taxi and I was just like,

"Mate, I've just been cast in Star Wars." And he was just like...

-"All right, mate."

-LAUGHTER

Don't think he believed me.

Who did you tell first, Daisy?

I told my sister and my mum when I came in. And then I told my dad.

And he was kind of sleeping and he went,

-"Jesus Christ". And then...

-LAUGHTER

Then the next day, he was like, "I think your mum told me something."

And I was like, "No, no, no. I told you that."

Then he went, "Oh, I was always more of a Trek fan."

-AUDIENCE:

-Oh!

-Devastating.

-Yeah.

That's a bad father. LAUGHTER

He's great. He's backstage.

How was your family, when you heard, John?

They had no clue what Star Wars was.

But they were great that I got a job.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

And, Carrie, the secrecy thing.

How have you managed to keep...?

-Did they give you a script?

-Anything?

-Do they give you a script?

They gave me a script for about three hours

-and waited, you know, out by the gate.

-Yeah, yeah.

And so it was a lot of pressure to...

I just looked for my bits. No idea what context it was in, nothing.

-LAUGHTER

-And I still don't know.

LAUGHTER

So, you know, I don't know. It was awful.

But I told him!

No, no. I... And I kept the secret!

So she's so rubbish, she told me... LAUGHTER

But then I knew I'd do the show one day and it would help me.

LAUGHTER

And so I... I was...

People would be talking about Star Wars and I'd be thinking,

-"I know what happens!"

-Do you?

-LAUGHTER

-Yes!

-Have you seen the film?

-Yes!

-But before that.

-Before that.

-A year ago, she told me.

-You knew?

-Yeah.

-Everything?

-Everything.

Oh my God, Carrie!

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

-My gosh!

-APPLAUSE

Carrie!

-We were both kind of merging type people.

-I can't believe,

of all the people to trust with a secret,

I'm not the one! LAUGHTER

-But you were. Look!

-I know, I was very good.

-It challenged you.

-It developed you as a person.

-No, but here's the thing.

LAUGHTER Should we, none of us, wonder...?

LAUGHTER

Is he happy to stay there?

-He's very overexposed and he's tired.

-OK.

-No, he'll be fine.

-Shall we ignore him?

-Absolutely.

-Act like nothing happened.

-LAUGHTER

-John:

-My God.

-He's having a whale of a time.

LAUGHTER

His back hurts a little bit.

LAUGHTER

-He needs a...

-He is doing yoga.

LAUGHTER

-How you doing?

-I can't believe his schedule.

The thing is, we do know that he is a Star Wars fan.

-Oh, that's right.

-We've seen some pictures of Gary.

Here's Gary...

LAUGHTER

And then... Who put the wig on him?

Was that you?

I don't remember.

-Well, somebody put a wig on him.

-Come on!

LAUGHTER

That doesn't look good.

LAUGHTER

-That's a great holiday gift.

-Oh, here's another.

If you've got a cat, you're thinking, what will I get my cat for Christmas?

You could do worse than get your cat a lightsaber.

-No.

-Have you seen the Jedi Cats?

-Oh, my God.

-Have you not seen Jedi Cats, Carrie?

-No.

-Oh, there's...

Actually, if you google Jedi Cats, there are loads of these videos.

But this is our favourite video.

Someone goes to quite a lot of trouble to make these of...

of Jedi Cats. Here's some Jedi Cats.

STAR WARS THEME PLAYS

LAUGHTER

WHIZZING

LAUGHTER

CRACKLING

APPLAUSE Jedi Cats.

OK!

Well, let's talk about Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

It is. It's open everywhere. It's all over the world. And it's...

I mean, it's a new movie, it's a new start,

but it is back to basics for Star Wars, isn't it?

Particularly for Star Wars fans.

Do you know what's so crazy, is because we haven't been able to

say anything about the story, so now we're being asked

-about the narrative, it's like...

-Now we don't know how.

-Do we say anything?

-LAUGHTER

So it's very strange to have to say something about it.

OK. I'll tell you what we can say.

We can say you, obviously are Princ... No, General Leia now.

They didn't tell me that till later.

LAUGHTER

I wouldn't have approved. Well, I would!

So you're General Leia? So, Daisy, you are...?

-Rey.

-Who is...?

A scavenger from the planet Jakku.

OK. Well, everyone's up to speed now.

She's a scavenger from the planet Jakku.

LAUGHTER And, John, you are?

And I'm a stormtrooper who doesn't want to be a stormtrooper any more.

Aw! LAUGHTER

-Yes, guys. It's a hard life, honestly.

-That picture says it all.

That is the picture of a stormtrooper who doesn't want to be a stormtrooper any more.

LAUGHTER

And, Kylie, who do you play in the film?

LAUGHTER

-That would be such a great plot twist, wouldn't it?

-I don't play anyone, but I have so many questions

-about the outfits. That's what I'd be interested in.

-Ooh.

Cos I love your outfits, obviously.

-Oh, thank you.

-All of them.

-LAUGHTER

Cos my new outfit, I either look like a

fashionable gas station attendant...

LAUGHTER

..and then I have a long, big...

a big dress and I have a hairstyle where I look...

-it looks like a baboon's ass.

-LAUGHTER

Like, in a really good way.

Of course. In a very good way.

-And, Daisy, you get to use your lovely English voice.

-I do.

-Throughout.

-I do.

John, not so much.

-No.

-LAUGHTER

-I have an American accent in it.

-Do it! He's so good at it.

-No. Your accent is so good.

-Amazing.

Thank you. I tried it in the British, but it didn't work out.

-IN BRITISH ACCENT:

-"I'm a storm trooper. I'm gonna 'elp save ya!"

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

-It didn't work out.

-APPLAUSE

Didn't you do it on stage?

Yes. Yes. And J.J. was just like,

"Er, John. I... I don't think it's right."

-LAUGHTER

-"Let's go with American."

But what if you hadn't been able to do American?

-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-Then I would have been PISSED!

-Would have been fired.

-Would have been fired.

LAUGHTER

Cos, Carrie, way back in the beginning, 19...

-was it '76?

-'76.

-'76.

When you're on set, your first day on set, you had a similar thing with an accent?

But mine was an accident accent.

-SCATTERED LAUGHTER

-I had bee... It's viral.

I'd been going to school here -

-it's the Central School of Speech and Drama.

-Ooh, yes.

And we'd been taught to sort of say...

SHE TALKS GIBBERISH

A thing distinctly hard to say, but a harder thing to do.

-And so...

-Woo!

-Woo!

-All right, yeah.

Isn't it beautiful? And you can see it in all my work.

LAUGHTER

All the levels and the layers.

So, erm...

It went at it, it was like, Governor Tarkin,

"I thought I recognised her foul stench when I arrived on board."

Now, I did it conversationally and George came to me.

The only time I got direction from George was the first day, he said,

"You are really upset.

"You're just about to have your planet blown up",

and, you know, such like.

-LAUGHTER

-And, when I get upset,

-I become British.

-LAUGHTER

You're better at conflict than we are.

-LAUGHTER

-Clearly. And so I just...

So try this - Governor Tarkin,

"I thought I recognised your foul stench when I arrived on board."

LAUGHTER

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

Shakespearian, Shakespearian. It's Shakespearian. Yeah.

Listen, we're going to watch a clip of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

And I promise there are no plot spoilers in this clip.

This is John and Daisy running away from an explosion.

LAUGHTER

HE PANTS

-We can't outrun them!

-We might!

In that quad jumper.

Hey! We need a pilot!

We've got one.

-You?!

-HE SHOUTS

Oh, very good. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

John, Daisy, running away from an explosion.

-Thank you.

-I hope that didn't spoil it for anybody.

LAUGHTER But, er, that happens in the film.

LAUGHTER Yeah.

-CARRIE:

-A couple of times, actually.

-Don't spoil it!

LAUGHTER

So, John and Daisy you're newcomers to the franchise, obviously.

But then you've got... How do we describe you?

-"Veteran" seems...

-What do they say on...?

-Legacy.

-Legacy players.

-Oh, the legacy players.

-LAUGHTER

-Geriatric, but fun geriatric!

We look a bit like we've... We still look like ourselves,

but like we've melted a bit.

LAUGHTER

In a good way.

So...you've got the legacy players. You've got the legacy players.

You've got Carrie, Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill.

So was that helpful in any way?

Daisy, did you get advice?

-CARRIE LAUGHS

-Carrie, go on. What did you tell me?

I said...

not to go through the crew like wildfire.

LAUGHTER

-That's helpful!

-APPLAUSE

Did you take that advice?

Always, always.

No...

I also told her not to take any advice from me.

LAUGHTER

Which is really good advice.

It was. Yeah, good advice.

No, but it was like this - I didn't know, thankfully, till later that

I was, sort of a...

SHE SIGHS

..it's hard to say... a sex symbol or something.

Whatever that means! So I went into a store one day

and this boy said, you know, "Oh, are you are Princess Leia?"

"Yes."

He said, "I thought of you, about you, every day from when I was 12 to when I was 22."

And I said, "Every day?"

And he said...

"Well, four times a day."

LAUGHTER AND GROANING

Oh, what?!

So you have that to look forward to!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

And she does!

Now, John...

LAUGHTER

-I...

-Sorry, I just think I threw up in my mouth.

LAUGHTER

So, John, you spent a lot of time with Harrison on the set.

-Yeah, yeah.

-So what sort of...?

Did he give you advice? Is there advice for being that guy?

-No. I mean...

-LAUGHTER

Oh, my God. Look how scared he looks.

LAUGHTER

No. Harrison's not the type to really just give advice.

But what we did do was,

while we were on set, he was sick and tired of being stuck

in central London and having chicken and veg all the time.

He was like, "I want some real food." I said, "You know what?

"I'm going to take you to South East London, to the Old Kent Road

"and go and get some Nigerian food". He was like,

-MIMICS HARRISON FORD:

-"All right, cool. Let's do it."

-LAUGHTER

-We go to this Nigerian restaurant.

We have good food. We chilled out, got in the car back home,

slept off and had an amazing night. Yeah.

-APPLAUSE Harrison Ford's been on the Old Kent Road?

-Yeah.

And take this, guys. Without security, cos that's the way you do it.

Without any security. He's so down-to-earth. So down-to-earth.

Cos the next day a door fell on him on the set.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah, it did.

That's not my problem.

-So you pay a price!

-LAUGHTER

Cos, Daisy, you hung out with Harrison, as well.

-Was he cool with you?

-Yeah, he's super cool!

But, now, you didn't get off to a great start, did you?

-No.

-LAUGHTER

The first time I met him I went, "Oh, my God, my mum loves you."

-And he was like, "Great!"

-LAUGHTER

I was like, "No, no. I like you, too."

LAUGHTER

-Yeah.

-And then, on the set, you...

And then I sat in the pilot seat of the Falcon.

-So already I was really doing well.

-LAUGHTER

Cos I'd already piloted it. That's not a spoiler either.

And then we stepped on together for me to be the co-pilot.

And I went to get into it and he was like, "That's mine."

But it should be funny at the time.

But it was actually really embarrassing.

-And J.J. was like, "Oh, my God."

-LAUGHTER

Because the thing is, there are two more of these films to go.

Cos, Kylie, you started off as an actress in Neighbours.

-Mm-hm.

-And...

You seem to be doing more acting now?

-Erm, some bits and bobs, yeah.

-Yeah.

Is it something you think you're going to do more of?

I love it when I do it.

And I kind of have this weird collision of feelings.

I feel really at home, because it's where I started out.

But I also feel terrified, because I don't do it very often.

But, yeah, I'd love to do more, for sure.

-So you were in San Andreas.

-Mm-hm.

And then you've just done a guest part in...

-Is it? What's it called? Gal...?

-In Galavant.

-Yes.

-Galavant, where, I have to say,

you did break some of Carrie's rules, because...

LAUGHTER You did start stepping out.

-No, not on set.

-Oh, not on set?

Oh, that, that makes a big difference.

LAUGHTER

And it was only one of them, it was only one co-star.

And you're still... you're still stepping out?

-Mm-hm.

-Really?

-Which is a lovely thing.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Well, no wonder you like acting.

LAUGHTER

It doesn't always work out that way,

but it did on this occasion. It's very nice.

-That's nice. Ooh, there he is. Are you...?

-Woo!

-Ooh!

Are you doing the whole Christmas thing together and everything?

-Erm, yeah.

-Ooh! ALL:

-Aw!

Where are you doing Christmas? Here or there?

-Around.

-Globally? LAUGHTER

In a giant love heart with birds tweeting!

-No!

-Aw!

-LAUGHTER

I can't tell you about it! Yes, we're doing Christmas.

OK. And, you guys, when you look back at this whole experience,

because you've got two more to go, so next time, it will be...

not old hat, but you'll kind of be like, yeah, we've done this before.

So, looking back, what have been the standout bits?

-I think j... Just the whole experience, really.

-Yeah.

Filming has been such an amazing thing.

Going into a Star Wars movie is just crazy, but working with someone

-like J.J. Abrams is the cherry on the cake, for sure.

-Mm.

-I cried earlier.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

-You didn't cry with me yesterday?

-I know. We said we needed a cry together. It's a lot of emotion.

-I was crying by myself.

-When we were flying over, I couldn't sleep,

-cos it's just a plane full of amazing people.

-Yep.

And I was like, "Shit..." Ooh, am I allowed to swear on here?

-You have now.

-Shit!

-Woo!

-LAUGHTER

I thought you would know not to say that from just example.

-Yeah...

-LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

She's not like that at all.

And then I tried to... I was tired earlier, so I went for a nap

and I just started crying. Cos just all the incredible things we've done

-and the incredible people we've worked with.

-Yeah.

I mean, I'm emotional anyway but...

And you had a nice cry today. What made you cry today?

-Well, I cried yesterday at the UK premiere.

-OK.

-We still need to weep together.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why did you...? Agh, why did I cry, man?

-LAUGHTER

-You've got more in you. I can tell.

Yeah, yeah. I do. I just cried, because I haven't cried about

everything, about booking the part, about filming and then

I just decided to let it go, like Frozen.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Yeah.

Good reference. Good reference.

All the women love you now!

-LAUGHTER

-I know.

-Yeah.

He likes Frozen!

He's a stormtrooper who likes Frozen!

LAUGHTER We love it.

The thing is, it's not just the legacy players that return.

Some of the iconic proppage is back.

And, John, presumably, you trained with your saber?

-The lightsaber?

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah.

Now, I've got a very posh lightsaber here.

-OK.

-Would you show us a few...?

Is it just the same as learning fencing,

or there something different to it?

It is slightly different, based on Finn's character,

-but I won't spoil anything.

-LAUGHTER

What have I got? I've got Luke's here somewhere.

-This is Luke's.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Oh, my gosh. That's really...

-Let's get Luke's.

-Oh, no. It's real.

-This is really spendy and posh.

-So good.

-Where did you get that from?

A shop, I don't know. LAUGHTER

Carrie nicked it and gave it to me. LAUGHTER

-No, I didn't.

-Is this what they look like on set?

-Pretty much, yeah.

-Oh, really? So this bit does exist?

-Yes.

-And with the lights and everything.

-Oh, it does?

-Yeah, yeah.

Do you know how to turn that on? Cos I don't.

Oh, is this the complicated one?

WHOOSHING Oh! Ooh, my god!

-LAUGHTER ALL:

-Whoa!

Oh, look at it now! That's so good.

APPLAUSE That's so good. That's so good!

Look at that face! Look at that face! APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Don't move, don't move.

-You go down there. Down there so you don't hit anyone.

-OK.

-Mind Kylie.

-Ooh, oh!

-Oh, my God!

-CHEERING

-You literally almost sabred her!

-Wow! Oh, oh, oh!

-You nearly took out a pop princess!

-Oh my god!

-Oh, did I?

-LAUGHTER

-It's so long!

-LAUGHTER

-It's not the one on set. It's longer.

-Oh, is it?

-Yes, it is.

-LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Do we know how to turn it off? APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Very good. Thank you very much, John. Very good. Excellent.

-That was great!

-Thank you.

Right, it is time to bring out our final guest tonight.

This man is quite simply one of our greatest sporting icons,

whose latest exploit is a global footballing challenge

of seven matches over seven continents.

It is a huge pleasure to welcome back Mr David Beckham!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Oh!

WHISTLING

Hello, sir. How are you doing? Really good to see you.

Come in. Meet everybody.

-That's Carrie Fisher, Daisy...

-Hi.

..John Boyega.

Kylie Minogue. APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Woo!

CHEERING Woo! Woo!

-How you doing?

-Very good. Very good, thank you.

-You good?

-Presumably, you and Kylie have met before?

-Yes, we have.

-We have, yeah.

-John and Daisy?

-No.

-No.

-I did meet you, mate. I did meet you. I did.

-First time.

-I met you at the BAFTAs.

-It was at the BAFTAs.

-Yeah, yeah.

I tried to take selfie with you, man. I was just...

-a bit starstruck.

-LAUGHTER

-I'm a bit starstruck now.

-LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, the rest of the sofa can just relax,

because guess who's here? Guess who's here? I'll tell who's here.

Sexiest man alive, ladies and gentlemen!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

It's official!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That must be such a weird thing. Do they phone you and go,

"Oh, by the way, you're the sexiest man alive?"

They do phone you actually and say that you're...

you know, up for winning it. And, erm, I was obviously very surprised

and slightly embarrassed, especially when my sons turned round to me

and was like, really?

LAUGHTER

So, yeah, it was slightly embarrassing, but...

-obviously, I'm very proud of it as well.

-Yeah!

LAUGHTER John, you're in there.

-Am I in there?

-Did you not know you were in there?

As what?

LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH As...

As not the sexiest man alive, but...

-LAUGHTER ..you're in the running.

-Ooh.

Yeah, you're in here. You're down as Sexiest Stormtrooper.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

He really is. Look, there you are.

-Did you not know that?

-No.

-What, no one told you that?

It's not the biggest deal in the world. Come on.

-LAUGHTER No, that's the biggest deal.

-That is.

Yeah, come back to us when you're on the cover.

OK, thank you very much. LAUGHTER

And, I suppose I have to ask you, David,

cos we're in the midst of all this Star Wars stuff.

Star Wars, big fan?

Of course. I mean, when I was ten years old, I mean...

Princess Leia was always, for me...

-LAUGHTER

-You know, what can I say?

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING How...? How many times a day?

LAUGHTER

Come on! I said ten years old. Come on!

LAUGHTER

There were three films! There were three films!

LAUGHTER

But your boys went to see the premiere?

Yeah, they did. They were there last night.

They loved it. They, erm...

My eldest, obviously, is 16, so he was allowed out that late.

But Romeo, normally, he's, er... not.

So last night he went with his big brother and he had

the honour and the thrill of watching it.

And they both came back and were raving about it

and said it was really incredible, so... they had a good time.

Hey, hey! You know what would make your kids really jealous?

-What's that?

-Is if you just posed with a lightsaber with Finn.

That would actually make them very jealous.

Do it. Do it. I've got one in Manchester United red.

-LAUGHTER

-Oh.

Where is it? No, I really do.

Where's the blue one again? OK, there's the blue one.

And, actually, here's the thing -

because you're in the new King Arthur film?

I am. Just a small part, yeah.

Have you done some sword training?

-I have done some sword training.

-LAUGHTER

OK, we're looking for some.... Oh, look at him!

Look at this! LAUGHTER

OK.

-You get that to work.

-Yeah.

-I'm moving well out of the way.

-And can we not kill Kylie. That's all I ask.

-Very kind.

Now... So basically, to turn this on, you push...

You push that thing. That one. Oh.

OK? That one up. Oh!

AUDIENCE GASP

-You've gone off.

-David Beckham!

-You've gone off, you've gone off.

-You have met your match!

Oh!

APPLAUSE

I just wanted to meet you, mate.

APPLAUSE

Well done.

Thanks very much.

Right, so, David Beckham is bringing something really special to our screens this Christmas,

on 29 December on BBC One at 9pm.

It's called For The Love Of The Game and this is a really special film.

-You must be very proud of it.

-We're really proud of it.

Obviously it's something that with my UNICEF 7 fund, um,

in three of the places where we visited and then also, showcasing

how football's changed many people's lives and actually,

it brings so much happiness to so many children around the world.

I kind of wanted to show that to people, because, sometimes, you know,

it's really important to actually see how powerful the game is.

And you play in all these different environments, so which...

which was the toughest environment?

Um, you know, they all had their challengers,

because what we did, obviously we started in Papua New Guinea.

We played on the edge of the rainforest against a tribe

and a police force that usually are in conflict.

How did that go?

-Actually, they come together once a week and play this game of football.

-Oh, wow!

So the game was great and then we travelled to Nepal,

where six months before, there was the terrible earthquake.

So there was the devastation of that

and then after we'd played there, we then went to Djibouti,

which we played in a refugee camp, which was incredible.

And then on to Buenos Aires - you know,

obviously I have my own history with playing against Argentina and...

over the years.

And obviously, the rivalry between England

and Argentina in football has always been huge

so we played there for a game and then we flew to the Antarctic,

which again, was incredible.

In the... Who did you play in the Antarctic?

LAUGHTER

Is it you against a wall?

No, they were some scientists that go over there and...

LAUGHTER

Yeah, that's the exact same reaction as what I got when I mentioned about playing in the Antarctic.

People just laughed at me.

But we played with some scientists,

which was actually one of the most enjoyable games.

I bet, cos you were really good.

Actually, they had some Argentinian players that were really good.

And then, obviously, we went to Miami, played there and then back to Manchester.

All right, well, listen. Let's watch a clip.

This is you in Buenos Aires,

and this is you chatting with some young Argentinian fans.

How are you?

'The padre wants to introduce me to the

'future legends of Argentinian football.'

Messi is...

Messi is incredible.

I play con Robinho, con Ronaldo,

con Roberto Carlos,

con Raul,

y que mas?

Ibrahimovic.

BOY: No!

In one match I played against Argentina and I scored one goal.

Inglaterra - uno. Argentina - zero!

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER

And then the film culminates with you returning to Old Trafford but

it's not just coming back to your old football ground, it's Alex Ferguson.

-Yeah.

-He's there. He's managing your side.

I heard you talking about how you...

it's like going home for Christmas, like, you revert to being the person you were.

It was kind of nerve-wracking.

I'm always, whenever I'm around the manager, the boss, Sir Alex Ferguson,

you can tell in the documentary, I'm very, very nervous.

Um, he has this hold over us as players, especially the younger players,

where we were very, you know, we were petrified of him.

You know, a little bit of fear, a little bit of respect.

More fear than...

LAUGHTER

And even so, even when we were younger,

we would never drink in front of him,

we would never hold a glass of wine or a beer in front of him

and even the other night, I found myself at this charity dinner and he

was on the table behind me, so I'm sat at the table,

and I was aware that he was behind be, so I just had to

position my glass of wine so he actually couldn't see it.

So he still has that hold over myself and all the other players but

you know, it was such an incredible day and such an incredible moment.

-And you actually got to play with Brooklyn on the pitch.

-I did. I wasn't meant to.

I was meant to come off 15 minutes before the end of the game.

-I was coming off and kind of, the new generation was coming on.

-Yeah.

Even though football is something that he might not go into, he

was kind of taking my place, so then I came off, I was sat on the bench.

You know, I hadn't played for three years so I was kind of tired.

LAUGHTER

So I was sat there and then, Sol Campbell put his hand up.

And he was like, "I'm injured. I need to come off. I have a bad hamstring."

So the boss turned around to me. He said, "OK, you're going to have to go back on."

So I went back on and then I was able to play with

Brooklyn for the last ten minutes.

It was...it was incredible.

-That must have been an amazing moment.

-It was.

-For any dad. But particularly for you.

-It was.

I mean, to give Brooklyn - like I said,

he might not go into football and I doubt he will,

but to have the opportunity to actually play at Old Trafford in

front of 75,000 fans with my son, it was, I mean, it was emotional.

Yeah. Cos, Carrie, you must have had that a bit, cos you - obviously, your mother's Debbie Reynolds,

then you end up in the business but now your daughter Billie -

are you surprised that following on from the two of you, she's decided,

-"I'm going to do that too."

-Well, I shouldn't be but...

cos we raised her not to be an actress which is really stupid,

so don't do that. She rebelled and either way, it's going to...

So she said, one day she came to me and said,

"I'd like to audition for Star Wars."

-And she's in it.

-She's in it.

-Yeah.

-Amazing.

-It doesn't hurt that your mother's Princess Leia!

I went through the crew like wildfire!

It was a long time ago and it's paid off now!

Yeah!

I don't know what it's like with mothers and daughters

but fathers and sons, there is a rivalry.

There's bound to be a kind of... particularly Brooklyn, he's 16.

He's becoming his own man.

And it's so funny, the way you tried to score

points against each other so,

Brooklyn put this picture up on Instagram and he put on it

"Rocking the old school Ralph Lauren." And look at that.

He's got 317,000 likes.

-Yeah.

-So that, you know, cool in his Ralph Lauren,

and you scroll through the comments, you know,

"Oh, yeah..." "Whatever..." Blah, blah, blah...

You get down to this one. Mr David Beckham.

"That's my jumper."

LAUGHTER

That's so mean!

But it actually is my jumper!

I was...

I was sat at lunch, actually, when that came up on my screen, that he'd

just posted a picture of him and it was my jumper, so I had to tell him!

But I do find him going in my wardrobe, even though

he doesn't think I'm that...

a cool dad, I still find him wearing my clothes every single day.

This one's... So this is him, it's a little video he posted on Instagram to

really boast about the number of his followers. Here we go.

So it's my mum's birthday today.

-DAVID:

-Brooklyn, we're leaving!

OK. I've just reached a million followers.

I've got 52.

LAUGHTER

His face!

I know!

I was... We were literally just about to walk out the door

and I could hear him talking in his room

and I thought, and then I heard him say, you know, "I've just about... Just reached one million," so...

You destroyed that boy!

To be honest, you know, when we're out,

he gets recognised so much that I'm literally, you know,

I'm known as Brooklyn's dad now and that's kind of...

I'm the one that takes the picture of him.

Yeeeeah... No-one is buying that.

Listen, it's time for music. Miss Kylie Minogue.

-Now, you are giving us the Christmas album.

-H'hm.

Which is Kylie Christmas. It's out now.

And the thing is, because you're an Australian, these Christmas songs...

This is a very stupid question,

but are Christmas songs a thing in Australia?

No, it's the height of summer in Australia

but we still sing about snow and winter wonderland.

But, I thought I could not possibly do an album

without mention of a hot Christmas

so I wrote a song called 100 Degrees, which I sing with my sister.

So the Aussies are represented.

Yes. Very good.

I just wondered, because it's such a...

You know, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, not happening.

-No, it's bikinis, board shorts and barbecue.

-That's it. Yeah.

-You should come, it's good fun!

-No, it does sound good fun, yes.

Now, you are fully live tonight.

So, your orchestra awaits.

-So if you'd like to go and get ready...

-I will.

-..to go through.

Ooh, look, there's the orchestra, very good.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Shortly we'll have this week's visit to the Big Red Chair, but first,

performing Winter Wonderland, it's Kylie Minogue!

CHEERING

You ready to join us in our winter wonderland?

# Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?

# In the lane, snow is glistenin'

# A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# Gone away is the bluebird

# Here to stay is a new bird

# He's singing a song as we go along

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# In the meadow we can build a snowman

# And pretend that he's a Santa clown

# We'll have lots of fun with Mister Snowman

# Until the other kiddies knock him down

# When it snows, ain't it thrillin'?

# Though your nose gets a chilling

# We'll frolic and play the Eskimo way

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# In the meadow we can build a snowman

# And pretend that he's a Santa clown

# We'll have lots of fun with Mister Snowman

# Until the other kiddies knock him down

# Later on, we'll conspire

# As we dream by the fire

# To face unafraid the plans that we made

# Walking in a winter wonderland

# Walking

# While we were talking

# While we were walking

# In a winter wonderland. #

Oh!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Oh! Kylie Minogue, everybody!

So Christmassy.

Come back and join us.

That was beautiful. Thank you so much. Mwah!

Winter Wonderland.

Have a seat there.

Now you're in a Christmas mood!

Now you're Christmassy. Now it's all Christmassy. Very good.

OK. Before I release you back into the Christmas world,

it's just time for a visit to the Big Red Chair.

-Who's there? Hello!

-Hi.

-No, no, no.

-Leave him.

-OK...

-He'll be fine.

The Force is strong within you.

-What is your name?

-Mark.

-What do you do, Mark?

-I run a tech startup.

-Do they make jumpers(?)

-No.

We're a recruitment software company.

Oh. OK. Where did I get textiles from?

-I got that too.

-Yeah. Did you say the word "textile"?

No, er... Tech startup.

Oh, tech startup!

Tech startup. I really want to... Are you sure, John?

OK!

I'm trusting you on this, John.

Because as the host - long gone.

OK.

Mark off you go with your story.

So, I was visiting my girlfriend,

my then girlfriend's family home for her birthday.

And it was a weekend so we had a lazy lie-in

and spent some time "celebrating"...

-Get rid of him.

-Oh, my God!

No, no - now I want to hear it.

OK. So you're celebrating...

And we get interrupted by her mum calling us from downstairs

cos they're setting up for a party in the afternoon

for her family. So we finish up quickly,

and I take my contraception off and throw it casually in the chair...

Oh my God! Chuck him.

No, no, I really want to know what happens now, I really want to know what happens.

So we get up the stairs, we're helping out. Family start to come,

and a little while later

her mum asks her nephew to go grab some chairs for the guests.

OK, now we know the end.

That was a nice Christmas story, wasn't it, everybody?

Do we have another one?

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi, what's your name?

-I'm Nick.

HE MIMICS HIS ACCENT "Nuck!" And er...

-Are you from New Zealand by any chance?

-I am.

Ah! New Zealand, everybody!

Always a good story from... No - New Zealanders have great stories.

-CARRIE:

-Good!

And if not good stories - amusingly told.

OK, "Nuck"...!

And do you live here or there?

-I live here.

-And what do you do?

-I'm an electrician.

Useful, and lives here - and he's about to tell a very funny story.

All over Nick. "Nuck!" OK...

Off you go with your story.

OK... When I was about 18

my parents went over to the States for a holiday.

When they came back, my dad brought me a present.

And it was a small state-of-the-art video recorder.

And being 18,

the first thing I used it for

was taking some intimate videos with myself and my girlfriend.

The first thing he did(!)

The battery was hardly charged.

Because they didn't release them in New Zealand

my dad wanted to take it to work to show his colleagues...

OK, now, this is moronic. Moronic!

How stupid is he?

One more, see if we can get a nice seasonal one?

-Yes.

-A nice seasonal one. OK, here we go.

-Hello! SLIGHTLY NERDY VOICE:

-Hello.

Stop it!

-What's your name, sir?

-My name's Geoff.

Geoff...

I rarely ask this of people on the Red Chair but...

are you a real person?

-As far as I know.

-OK, great. And what do you do, Geoff?

I'm a quantity surveyor.

I believe that. That has a ring of truth to it.

OK. And where do you do that?

-Er, for a construction company in North London.

-OK.

-And where are you from originally?

-From South Africa.

-OK. All right.

So off you go with your story.

I was invited to a lunch with my girlfriend and her parents.

I showed up in my car,

her parents showed up in her dad's pride and joy,

which was a 1963 MGB convertible

that he'd been restoring for the last year.

After lunch, he decided the ladies should drive together,

and him and I were going to take the MGB.

-He handed me the keys.

-DAISY: Oh, God!

Made me nervous, but he said, "It'll be fine."

As we start off down the road,

we came across a speed bump.

Because the chassis's quite low, it scraped a bit as you went over.

So he said, "Don't worry about that one

"but next time just keep hard to the left to try and get around it."

We got to the next speed hump, kept on telling me to go more left...

-DAISY: Oh, God.

-..all the way until I drove it into a ditch.

LAUGHTER

It's a very good story. It's nice and clean.

It's clean.

You can walk, Geoff, you can walk!

Well done, Geoff. Well done, everyone.

If you would like to join us on the show and have a go in that Big Red

Chair you can contact us via our website at this very address.

That is it for tonight, please say thank you to my guests tonight -

Kylie Minogue...

John Boyega...

Daisy Ridley...

Carrie Fisher...

and David Beckham!

We'll be back on New Year's Eve at 10:45pm,

with a very starry Hogmanay sofa,

including Eddie Redmayne, Mark Wahlberg,

Will Ferrell and Jennifer Lawrence.

Until then, have a very happy Christmas.

Goodnight, everybody, bye-bye!