Episode 8 The Graham Norton Show

FORREST GUMP THEME TUNE

My mammy always said, "Chat shows are like a box of chocolates.

"You never know what guests you're going to get."

LAUGHTER

WHISPERING

Yes! I know it's Tom Hanks! Let's start the show!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Too kind! Too kind. Hello!

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome one, welcome all.

Yes, exciting news, Tom Hanks is on our show. Yes, he is.

CHEERING

He's going to be telling us about his great new thriller, Bridge Of Spies,

where he plays a lawyer representing a Russian spy.

To get him to talk, the Americans want to pump him full of drugs.

You wonder, what would a Russian pumped full of drugs look like?

LAUGHTER

I vin again! Hey, let's meet our guests.

APPLAUSE

Later we'll have music from comeback kings, Duran Duran.

CHEERING But first,

he redefined sketch comedy with Little Britain

and has now become one of the country's most successful authors,

selling over eight million books.

It's the one and only David Walliams!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh!

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

He went from foul-mouthed Malcolm Tucker

in The Thick Of It to the quick-witted Time Lord in Doctor Who

and along the way, he's also picked up an Oscar.

Great Scot, it's Peter Capaldi!

APPLAUSE Yes!

Hello, sir. Lovely to see you.

DRUMROLL And, he's the star of Big, Saving Private Ryan, Toy Story,

Castaway, Forrest Gump,

now starring in new Spielberg thriller, Bridge Of Spies -

please welcome the double Oscar-winning superstar that is...

Tom Hanks, everybody!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Get these guys a drumroll...

-APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

-Enjoy the drumroll.

-Should've had the drumroll.

It's not right. It's not right.

-If you shuffle up a little bit there.

-OK.

-There you go.

No, the drum roll's very rare, Mr Hanks.

You have a chimpanzee back there,

who's been trained to bang out a timpani.

It's not right - everybody should get a drumroll.

From now on, from now on. The look is quite startling.

Thank you, I'm trying to look like your chin.

LAUGHTER

Somebody asked - two people.

I was at a restaurant and one person stopped by and said,

"Mr Hanks, have you coloured your hair for a role?"

I said, "Yes, I have."

Another lady stopped by and said,

"Mr Hanks, have you STOPPED colouring your hair...

-LAUGHTER

-"..for a role?"

-I said, "Get her out!"

-LAUGHTER

-But you're...

-I'm currently playing the...

Sully Sullenberger, who landed the American Airways

-passenger liner in the Hudson River a few years ago.

-Wow.

-So, I'm making that movie right now...

-Already, we want to see it.

-APPLAUSE

-Thank you.

Er...

Now, we have Doctor Who

and David Walliams, very famous all over the world. But Peter Capaldi,

-you're coming to the end of your second season of Doctor Who.

-Ah-ha.

-How are you coping with that sort of fame?

-Well, it's lovely.

-It's sort of...

-Is it really lovely?

LAUGHTER

Yes, it is.

Because, er, you can see how, you know, the Doctor's a magical figure.

He sort of, he exists more powerfully in the imagination

than he does on the screen.

So when they actually SEE you,

in the street...

kids, you know, they throw their arms around you.

They are just so pleased to see this character.

-It's delightful.

-Presumably, everybody wants a picture with you?

Yes. Well, largely, yeah...

The whole selfie culture, I quite like selfies.

I quite like it.

But sometimes there's always someone on the fringes

that you can see has the phone

and sort of, you think, they want a selfie, don't they?

Maybe I should ask them.

Unfortunately sometimes you do ask them and they say, no.

LAUGHTER

It just makes you feel like crap, doesn't it?

Doesn't it? But I bet it's never happened to you.

David Walliams, when you meet the fans,

at Q&As and things like that,

-presumably they are quite random as an audience?

-Yes.

I went to a school in Manchester.

One child said.... I said, "Ask anything you want."

"If you were at the airport and your phone got stolen,

-"what would you do?"

-LAUGHTER

Can we keep the questions about the book?

I had a lady come up to me at, um,

-Lakeside Thurrock shopping centre. Have you ever been there, Tom?

-I...

-tomorrow?

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

-Do they have a book store?

-We'll make a day of it.

This lady came up, this elderly lady, and said,

"We've got something in common."

I was doing a book signing. I said, "Oh, right. What's that?"

She said, "We've both swum the Channel"

I said, "Wow. Congratulations, amazing."

"Thank you very much. How did you find it? It was cold."

"No, I didn't do mine in the sea, I did mine in the swimming pool."

LAUGHTER

I went, "Oh, right.

"You swam the length of the Channel, 20 miles,

"you did over a day in a swimming pool."

"No, I did it over a series of weeks."

LAUGHTER

-Well, we've both been swimming.

-LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Now, Tom, lots of your fans in the audience - must be fans everywhere.

But is it always the same?

What do people mostly ask you, mostly say to you

-and shout out to you when they see you?

-Oh, er...

They used to yell, "Houston, we have a problem",

they used to yell that. They yell, "Run, Forrest, run."

That's a biggie. Now they just... they just yell...

-"Wilson!"

-APPLAUSE

They yell a lot of Wilsons everywhere.

And is it the same... is it the same everywhere?

-If you're in, you know...

-Yes, yes.

Evidently, Wilson is a universal language word

that they don't bother dubbing into any other language.

So, it's in Hindi, it's in Japanese, China, "Wilson!"

Pretty much all around the world.

I didn't realise till you were coming this time,

in Forrest Gump,

the famous voice that you use as Forrest,

it came from a specific person.

Young Michael Connor Humphreys, who played the young Forrest Gump,

we were trying to...

Bob Zemeckis came to me, said, "We got a problem on this!"

There's Michael right there, Sally and Michael.

-Ah.

-He was a very young man.

He's now a veteran - he served in Afghanistan.

Bob said, "We got a problem here!

"You got to teach this kid how to talk the way you want to talk."

I thought, why don't I just talk the way he talks right now?

So we started hanging out with him.

He was from Mississippi, deep in Mississippi.

He had this hard G at the end of his...

It wasn't thinking, it was thin-kinga.

It wasn't making, it was may-kinga.

So, what does your father do, Michael?

"My daddy makes ger-ease." That's what he said.

He said...I don't understand this,

is grease something you make? "Yees."

He says, "What do you do with grease?"

"Well, grease goes into all different sorts of pro-ducts."

LAUGHTER

"What products?"

"Oh, grease goes into lip-sticks."

LAUGHTER

I was like, well I'm not...this is it, this is it.

Somewhere I have cassettes,

hours and hours of me just making chitchat with a very young Michael.

-But he doesn't talk like that any more?

-No, no. It was just...

He was seven, eight years old, he was a young man,

and that was the vernacular that we spoke and it was priceless.

That's adorable and of course, a huge success for you.

And the year you won your, that was your second Oscar, wasn't it, Forrest Gump?

-Well, yes...

-Yes, it was, if I must mention it.

-Er...

-Let me put it this way, it was my last one.

LAUGHTER

-How about that?

-But it was in 1995

and that was a very special year

-for the man sitting beside you, Peter Capaldi.

-This is what I understand.

-Because that was the year YOU won an Oscar.

-We were there together.

I won an Oscar, yes, for a little, a short film.

I didn't even know that they gave Oscars for short films.

But I'd made this little short film,

because I was interested in film-making.

And the next thing I knew I was being telephoned

and being told that you're nominated for an Oscar.

We didn't even have any money, we didn't know how to get over there,

we managed to cobble together enough money to get over there

and we found ourselves at the Oscars, with yourself...

-How about that?

-..and lots of other film stars

and they called my name.

And I got up on the stage, I looked down,

it was a huge auditorium, like this.

It looked to me as if it was full of, you know,

an Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalike...

a Steve Martin lookalike, a Tom Hanks lookalike,

except it was the real thing.

It was, sort of, orgasmic.

I don't know how it was for you! For me...

-LAUGHTER

-..it was orgasmic.

-But I knew it...

-It was my last orgasm...

LAUGHTER

But I knew as well it wouldn't last,

because, obviously, when you've just made a little short film,

it doesn't have quite the same impact on your career.

And also, I was an actor, so that just confused everyone.

But three billion people saw you.

Yeah, but as you know, they take you backstage

and they put you on a, kind of conveyor belt

and they take you into a hangar,

which has got the world's press in it

and they put you on a stage

and all those pictures you see of people holding up their Oscar, they're taken on that stage.

Then they say, "Would anyone like to talk to Peter Capaldi,

"winner of the Short Film for 1995?"

LAUGHTER

Nobody. Not...

I mean, seriously, not one person.

As the tumbleweeds blew through... my life.

Have you been at the Oscars?

Were you going to say, have you got an Oscar?

-Yes, have you, David?

-I think so...

-LAUGHTER

What is the theme of this show if you don't have one?

I've probably got one.

-It looks like they're pretty easy to get, David...

-Yeah...

LAUGHTER Have you been, though? Have you been?

Course I haven't been. Why would I go to the Oscars?

-It's great, isn't it?

-It is so great...

LAUGHTER

You get all that great free stuff, chat with Jane Fonda...

I got to tell you, whatever,

even if you just win for a short film, they treat you...

LAUGHTER

Did you get the gift basket with all the goodies?

It was actually before I was born that you were there!

LAUGHTER

-1995!?

-Yeah...

We were booked on economy to come back to London,

cos obviously we'd done this off our own back,

and I thought, if I turn up at the airport,

at Los Angeles Airport and place my Oscar,

surely I'll get upgraded.

-I didn't.

-Oh...

-LAUGHTER

And we were put in economy, it was great,

-we handed round, everybody in economy held up the Oscar.

-Ah!

It was like A Night At The Opera.

It was like, all the people in the Titanic underneath,

all the poor people waving an Oscar. It was great.

We've enjoyed the Oscar chat, but let's...

LAUGHTER

Have you ever won anything?

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

I did, yeah.

Did you have perfect attendance in school?

I did, actually. I did, I got an award for that. So, yes.

He won the hearts of the nation

-when he swam the Channel for charity.

-Done that? Done that?

APPLAUSE

Yeah, you done that?

Ah-ha.

Now, listen, Tom Hanks, you bring us a fabulous new movie,

-your latest collaboration with Steven Spielberg.

-Mm-hm.

Bridge Of Spies. It opens next Thursday.

-Mark Rylance, there as well.

-Oh, yes.

That man is destined for great things, I must say, Mark Rylance.

This movie, Bridge Of Spies, I love when this happens,

when a film can shine a spotlight

on a story that has slipped through the cracks of history,

-a story that we should all know, this story?

-Well, yes.

Francis Gary Powers, that's part of the...

he was the U-2 pilot that was shot over the Soviet Union.

At first, America said,

we don't have anybody flying over the Soviet Union.

Then they said, well, yes, you do. Then we had to cop to it.

I did not know the story of James Donovan,

the lawyer that I played that helped facilitate the spy exchange,

because he had, he'd defended a Soviet spy

that had been in the United States for 15 years.

He kept him from the electric chair

and got him off so that he could live

and live in order to be exchanged in a classic Cold War moment,

you know, across the border with East Germany,

with the American pilot.

But it is extraordinary, because he was...

It's a true story and we're very authentic to what actually happened.

This man was plucked, he was an insurance lawyer?

-He was a very heroic insurance lawyer, damn you...

-OK!

..as all insurance lawyers are. I think we can all agree with that.

He had actually been, er, the prosecution team

for the Nuremberg war trials.

In the United States, everybody gets a lawyer,

so he just got this assignment.

You are going to defend this spy and he did

and he did such a good job of it

that when the time game for the spy exchange, the CIA said,

"We need you to go over and make this work for us.

"You're going to take this guy and get our guy back."

This is a clip.

This is, it's near the beginning of the film

and it's where we discover that your character and the CIA

-have very different ideas of how to defend a Russian spy.

-Exactly.

We need to know.

Don't go boy scout on me.

We don't have a rule book here.

You're Agent Hoffman, yeah?

Yeah.

German extraction?

Yeah, so?

My name's Donovan, Irish, both sides, mother and father.

I'm Irish. You're German.

But what makes us both Americans?

Just one thing.

One. One, one.

The rule book.

We call it the Constitution and we agree to the rules

and that's what makes us Americans.

It's all that makes us Americans, so don't tell us there's no rule book.

And don't nod at me like that, you son of a bitch.

-CHEERING

-There you go!

-Does that not look rock 'em, sock 'em and action packed?

-Sure!

And I gotta tell ya!

We had so many quiet scenes of talking over a cocktail in a bar,

it's going to hold you by the edge of your seat.

Scene after scene of quiet cocktail chatter.

-Oh, it's hard to pick a clip!

-No, no!

-That's actually very evocative of much of the movie.

-Yeah.

-Now, this is the fourth time...

-Yeah.

-..working with Steven Spielberg.

-So, at this point, like, does he direct you or...?

-Oh, yeah.

-OK.

Well, he wants everybody to come in with ideas.

He wants you to have something.

Oh, there we are, Mark Rylance is just off camera left there.

He wants everybody to come with ideas

that are beyond what's in the script.

I did some reading at one point and I said, "Hey, I got an idea.

"Can I play a cold, because it turns out James Donovan,

"on the flight over to Berlin -

"it was an unprotected uninsulated military aircraft -

"and he got a vicious cold and, for four days, he had a stuffed-up head

"and a sore throat, he was really sick,"

and he said, "Yeah, that's great! You'll have the cold to begin with

"and then, at the end, Hoffman will have your cold, see?

"You'll have a cold and you'll give it to the CIA!"

So that's the kind of stuff he does all the time. And then, he runs up

saying, "Ooh! This is great! This is great! What a great idea!"

"I didn't do anything! I'm glad the boss liked it."

Peter, about directing - will you ever go back to directing?

-Cos, you know!

-Um, I may do, eventually.

The trouble with directing is it takes up so much time,

you know, and I really like acting. I really like being in it.

And you can do an acting job in three months or something,

whereas, when you're a director, it takes you a year to do a project,

another year to get it together.

-So I...

-Maybe if you did a short film?

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

-But you could start at the top.

-Who knows what could happen?!

Er, now, I just want to talk about

-the first film you made with Steven Spielberg, Saving Private Ryan.

-OK.

-AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoo!

-Yes! Yeah.

APPLAUSE GRAHAM: Whoo!

Is that the toughest shoot you've ever done?

Cos, I mean, that first 20 minutes,

-as an audience member, it's gruelling.

-Oh!

We, um... Let me tell you a story.

I don't know if... There's a gentleman in...

Oh, there he is. I think he's right between us.

-See the fella? Go up, up, up. That fella right there.

-Yeah?

I believe, um, we had the scene in which

we had to go over the side of the landing craft,

land in the water, struggle up to the shore.

And then, that gentleman was going to get shot in the chest.

-Right?

-OK.

-So we're chatting and I said, "How are you?"

"Very good, Mr Hanks, very good." "Oh, you're English?"

-"Oh, yes, yes, I am."

-LAUGHTER

"Have you done many movies before?"

"No, no, this is my first. This is my first film."

"Really? Your first movie is with Steven Spielberg?"

-"Yes, yes, it's very exciting."

-LAUGHTER

I said, "Great. You know what we're doing?"

"I have been told. I have been briefed."

I said, "OK, so, once this starts, we go over into the water, right?

"Are you going to be OK?"

"Actually, no, I'm not very comfortable in the water."

LAUGHTER

I said, "Well, you're just out of luck, my friend,

"cos we're going over the side and I believe...

"I think it's shallow enough that we can walk up."

"Yeah, I hope so too, because I really don't swim very well!"

I said, "OK, all right!" So we did that

and we made it that far and now, we're soaking wet

and we're very cold and we're fighting hypothermia.

And a special effects fellow comes up and says,

"All right, guv'nor, we have to rib a squib on you now.

"Don't worry! This is an electric energy pack, battery's right here.

"What I'm going to ask you, when the charge goes up, mate,

"please don't look down, because it might get up in your eyes

"and it could blind you. All right, off we go."

LAUGHTER

So, so now, this fellow, and it's freezing cold,

and some guy...and, of course, then he gets blown and then he dies,

-and that was his first day of making a movie.

-Wow!

God bless the gentleman, he was fantastic.

-APPLAUSE

-Wonderful job he did.

Oddly, I think you would like... David Walliams has many books out,

but the one at the moment is connected to World War II.

-It is, it's called Grandpa's Great Escape.

-I have a copy.

And you did proper research?

I did do research, yes, and I actually went up in a Spitfire.

I think we've got a picture of you on a Spitfire.

-Because it's about...

-LAUGHTER

..an ex-World War II pilot.

You look very jaunty.

-What does jaunty mean?

-Well, something about...

-You could've said handsome!

-Handsome!

-But you said jaunty?

LAUGHTER Well, just because you...

I mean, could you just say masculine or something?

-No, I couldn't say that.

-No? OK.

LAUGHTER

-"You look very jaunty!"

-Yes. I could've said handsome.

This is me just trying to look cool.

Yes, I went up in a Spitfire to do some research,

cos I have to explain what it's like to fly in a Spitfire.

And it's about a grandfather who still thinks he's in World War II,

he's actually got dementia, and he goes on an adventure with his

-grandson and they steal a Spitfire from the Imperial War Museum.

-Wow.

And this has already been number one,

it's probably going to be number one again for Christmas, cos...

-After this show!

-Well, everyone loves your books!

If Tom Hanks held it up to his face, I think it could be!

CHEERING

APPLAUSE

-While...

-Tom, there's another one! Tom! Tom! There's another one!

Put that one down, there's another one for you.

-While you're enjoying that, we can be reading The Bear Who Went Boo.

-Boo!

-And this is...

-This is for the younger children.

Now, we don't want to get bogged down in plot, but what's it about?

-Er, um...

-LAUGHTER

It's... Well...

-There's a bear, er, a polar bear...

-Mm-hm?

..and one of the things he enjoys doing is saying boo to people.

And it was actually inspired by my son, actually,

because he likes going boo to people.

-So I wrote it for him, really.

-And no-one could deny your success.

-As I said, it's getting on to 9 million books now.

-Mm-hm.

-But why did you...?

-Really? Well done!

-I know, 9 million books!

-APPLAUSE

-That's, um... That's Tom.

Thank you. Yeah, well...

Why did you think of doing it? How did you know...?

I just had an idea for a story, cos the first book is called

The Boy In The Dress, and I just had an idea for a story -

"What would happen if a boy went to school dressed as a girl?

"How would his friends react? How would his family react?"

and I wrote that story, it did well

and then I just kept writing them and that's the eighth novel.

And, presumably, you're working on more now?

Yes, because the publisher very much always wants you to write more...

-Yes!

-..if they've done well, so yeah, I'm writing all the time,

but I actually love it and, er, the thing about a children's book

is the only limits are your own imagination,

because you can go anywhere, because, in a children's book,

you can take children on an almost incredible fantastical journey

that you probably can't so much in a book for adults.

And what's great about kids is, one, they're very loyal.

-Once they like your books, they love your books.

-But they do grow up.

-Yeah, but...

-Which is annoying!

-LAUGHTER

If we could keep these children in the 8-12 bracket,

-they would keep buying them.

-Well, there'll always be more.

-Yes.

They have a tendency, cos people out there, they're only,

like, 8-12 years away from having a child that will read your book.

-Good point, good point.

-Yes!

-Thank you, Tom, good point.

-Thanks for clearing that up.

-Yeah, well, here's how it works.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

I'm not going to go there, sorry.

But no, in terms of children's entertainment, though,

-can anything ever top Toy Story, ladies and gentlemen?

-Oh, dear!

-CHEERING

-Oh, there we are!

-There you are, but...

-There's Tim Allen!

-Tim Allen!

-Tim Allen, the voice of Buzz...

-Yeah!

Last time I saw him, he was giving me an Oscar!

But the weird thing is that that is so loved, but children,

when they see you walking down the street, they don't know.

Countless elevator rides, I'll be in the elevator

and a mother and child will get on, and the mother will say,

"It's Woody!" And I'm standing there.

LAUGHTER

"It's Woody!"

And the kid's going...

And then, the mother tries to explain, "No, the voice is recorded

"and the actor who is the voice, this is the actor!"

The kids just don't get it at all.

They say, "Where's the vest? Where's the cowboy hat?

"You're not very tall!" And so, I say, "All right, close your eyes."

And they go, "What?!" "Just close your eyes!"

-And the kid goes...

-LAUGHTER

Then, I say, "We've gotta get back to Andy's room right away, guys!"

And then, they go...

-LAUGHTER Aw!

-I really love that one.

-And...

-Because the little kids, they're the most..

-They're the best.

-They love it.

-They can't believe it.

But, for you, it must be lovely to make a film in that way,

so that you can watch it like an audience member.

Oh, it's very hard work, animating these films.

Honestly, they are, because Woody... "Woody!"

He's like this and the recording sessions go on for four or

five hours, so I always come out of recording Toy Story sessions...

We're now recording Toy Story 4,

-so we're doing that.

-Is it done? CHEERING

It'll be out in 2018, as a matter of fact. It takes a long time.

But my diaphragm gets a workout, because the...

-HE GRUNTS AND PANTS:

-"The ent... The entire... Guys, come on!"

-LAUGHTER

-By the time I'm leaving,

I'm driving home and I literally have to put an ice chest

on my diaphragm, just so I can go home, cos it's clenched throughout.

-Wow! So Toy Story 4, that's it?

-Um, we are working on it right now, yes.

-AUDIENCE GASPS

-Yeah.

Well, I have a recording session on the 2nd of December.

-I love that, that noise in the audience.

-That's lovely!

-"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!"

-You know, um...

Somebody stuck a microphone in my face at some point at something

and said, "Is there going to be a Toy Story 4?"

And I said, "Yeah, yeah, I think so!"

And I got a call from the Disney lawyers the next day.

They said, "You, contractually, are not allowed to discuss

"Toy Story 4, it will affect the stock market price

"of the Disney common stock, so you are no longer..."

I said, "Hey, I'm sorry!

"But let me just point out - I'm Woody, pal!"

LAUGHTER

-APPLAUSE

-"I'll say whatever I want!"

Aw. Well, now, er...

Children everywhere can rejoice, because Doctor Who

continues on Saturday nights on BBC One and tomorrow night's...

Ooh, it's a big episode tomorrow night, isn't it, Peter?

-It's a sad one, yes, it's, er...

-It's very sad.

-It's very sad.

It's very gripping and very strange.

It's about mysterious streets that can only be seen if you stand...

lost streets, they're called trapped streets, and you can only see them

if you stand in a very specific place, but aliens live in them,

er, and they're in every city and we discover one.

But it's the end of the line for Clara Oswald,

played by Jenna Coleman, who's been by companion for the last two years.

-She go bye-bye?

-She's, er...

-LAUGHTER

It's the end of her story.

-I don't want to go into the details of it, but...

-Is it too upsetting?

-It's, er... It's...

-LAUGHTER

It's sad. It's sad.

And have you got a new assistant?

-I might have.

-Is it like, is it like a dog?

You put one to sleep, then just immediately get a puppy?

-LAUGHTER

-No, it's not like a... No, no.

-"Jenna's gone to the big film set in the sky!"

-That's right!

This is Maisie Williams. No, is Maisie Williams your new assistant?

You are so not allowed to talk about this!

I can't talk about stuff like that.

-Maisie's great, though, Maisie's in the show.

-We know she's in it!

She's fantastic! She's been in Game of Thrones since she was 12.

-Wow!

-Get out! Really?

-And she had her 18th birthday on our show

and she's very, very assured, you know, and I was...

You know, we were doing a shot with her and, er, you're me, I'm Maisie,

and they said, "Action!" and she went like this.

-LAUGHTER

-I said, "What are you doing?"

She said, "You're in my light."

LAUGHTER

That's cos she's been doing this other big show since she was 12,

but she's lovely, but she's 18,

so she speaks a completely unknown language.

Er, so she would teach me cool new things to say, like, er,

she was going to Glastonbury

and she was going to see Florence And The Machine

and she said, "They're really... They're ape!"

which, apparently, "ape" means great!

And so it's the new "sick!"

LAUGHTER

-Which has taken over from "wicked".

-Yes.

-Yes.

-And I only have very old, antiquated...

-Ape, yes!

-Ape!

"Ape, dear! Yes!"

-"We understand that, don't we? Yes!"

-LAUGHTER

Well, we have an exclusive clip. She's not in it.

-She's not in it.

-Er... LAUGHTER

No, this is an exclusive clip of tomorrow night's episode

and this is Doctor and Clara flying in the TARDIS high over London.

The glasses are tracking your eye movements.

Just keep looking straight down and...

I know! Focus on the buildings directly below me.

Whatever they're using, it only hides the street itself.

It prevents you from noticing there's even something missing.

They're somehow making our eyes skate right over it.

Let's call it a misdirection circuit.

RUMBLING

SHE SCREAMS

Clara!

SHE WHOOPS AND LAUGHS

SHE WHOOPS

Hello, London!

SHE LAUGHS

I'm good.

I'm good.

She enjoyed that...way too much.

Tell me about it. It's an ongoing problem. Here.

CHEERING

She may fall. She may fall.

Have you ever done any of that acting? That...

-Oh, that kind of thing?

-It's great, isn't it?

-No, but I think

I was in London when you were shooting that, because I saw...

LAUGHTER

Now, listen, Tom Hanks, you're famous for being lovely to fans,

-er, that you're very nice...

-I tried to be, yeah.

-You're very good.

-I try to be.

-And, David, you're a big fan,

-but someone else in your family is also a very big fan.

-Yes.

My mum's a big fan and we were in a restaurant,

in the River Cafe, probably about seven years ago.

And my mum had drunk a bit too much and she suddenly felt a bit ill and

I led her outside to the tables and you were sat at one of the tables...

-Ooh.

-..and she stopped dead and I had to sort of drag her,

like you would a donkey on a beach, away from you.

-She was so excited to see you.

-Well, how ill was she?

-You could've stopped by.

-She may have thrown up over you!

-Well, that would not have been...

-LAUGHTER

-She's here.

-She's in the audience.

-Tonight.

Let me see if I can figure out who she is. Hmm!

I can see her already. She's blushing, she's smiling!

-Look at her! Look at her!

-Oh, my..

-She's gearing to go.

-Come here, love!

Come here, darlin'! I see ya!

CHEERING

Give us some loving now!

Aw!

-Give us some sugar!

-Oh, she's going for the hug!

Have you been drinking?

You haven't drunk anything? You're totally sober?

-Have you been smoking?

-No.

-You haven't been smoking?

All right, all right! She's a good mum, isn't she?

-She's a very good mum.

-Look at your boy!

-Ain't you proud of your lad down there?

-I'm very proud.

-42 million books have been sold!

-LAUGHTER

One of these days, he just might win an Oscar!

Very lovely, very lovely to meet you.

Aw! That made her life, that.

Thank you so much. That's so kind of you.

-She's...she's a good mom.

-Thank you very much.

-You've got a very good mom.

-Cheers.

LAUGHTER

No res... No respect for your mother!

-Was he a good boy?

-Yes.

No, come on. Off the record, was he a good boy?

-Sometimes.

-Aw!

-LAUGHTER

She's showing off now, cos she's met Tom Hanks!

Now, listen, it is time for music.

And, I hesitate to ask, cos this is a sort of little-known thing.

I didn't know, but you are a recording artist.

-Oh, dear.

-LAUGHTER

Well, let's say I've been forced

-into the studio at gunpoint on occasion, yes.

-Yes!

-Yeah?!

No, you went all kind of hip-hop, rappy on us, didn't you?

Yes, I have a... I have a...

I have a rap hit that haunts me for the rest of my days, yes, yes!

-Cos this was you and...and...

-Danny Ackroyd!

-Danny Ackroyd.

We were promoting Dragnet, a motion picture, in 1987, and we sang.

Of course, everybody can sing along.

-RAPS:

-Look out, Streebek You're just in time

We have stumbled into a major crime

She's got the girl all frightened Now, that's not nice!

I think she is the subject of a sacrifice!

Buddy, we're putting this party on ice

But first, you know, we really oughta read 'em their rights

Read 'em their rights Read 'em their rights...

LAUGHTER

-That was, er, that was good!

-That was the dance.

-And, er...

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-That was...

We... Ha! We did, er, a video. It was choreographed by Paula Abdul,

believe it or not, yeah, yeah! Choreographed by Paula Abdul.

And it, er, it was the first thing I'd ever seen on YouTube,

because my kids were asking about it one day and they said,

"Dad, we gotta see this stupid thing! Where is it?"

I said, "Oh, it's on a VHS tape somewhere buried in the basement,"

and they pulled out YouTube very quick and there it was.

So my kids now can torture me with this thing.

-All right. Well, thank you very much for doing that.

-Yeah!

Now, it is actually time for... No, it's time for MORE music!

Sorry, that was bad! LAUGHTER

Time for even more music!

This supergroup have sold over 100 million records

and filled stadia worldwide

and now, they're back with their 14th album, Paper Gods.

Here performing their single What Are The Chances?

it is the mighty Duran Duran!

CHEERING

# Any other day

# You might have gone walking by

# Without a second look

# Any other way

# But I'm still mystified

# I'm just trying to change my luck

# Staring out the world

# Awaiting for the one

# But the world won't look away

# The world does not explain

# So-o-o-o...

# What are the chances?

# We'll never know

# If we take it for granted

# A diamond explodes

# What are the cha-a-ances?

# Playing with your life

# Or is it destiny...

# ..which sets you on a path?

# Is it out of choice

# That you're here next to me?

# Or just the aftermath...

# ..of moments as they pass?

# So...

# What are the chances?

# We'll never know

# If we take it for granted

# A diamond explodes

# What are the chances?

# So...

# What are the chances?

# We'll never know

# If we take it for granted

# A diamond explodes

# What are the chances?

# We are lost in the flow

# And looking for answers

# Oh, oh, oh, oh! #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Beautiful!

Duran Duran, everybody!

Come join us. Come join us, do!

There you go. You're very welcome. Have a seat. Lovely to see you.

Hello! Lovely to see you.

-SIMON:

-All right, David?

-You all right?

-Good to see you.

Welcome to the show. Come and sit down.

Everybody chatting!

Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely.

If you... OVERLAPPING CHATTER

-TOM HANKS:

-It's a good life lesson.

-We want to know about that.

-Yeah?

Don't squeeze too far. There we go, OK.

It came to pass, because, the very first time I came to London,

the football scores were on in the morning

and it was all these cities I didn't quite understand.

Where is Stoke? Where is...where is Blatsworth?

Where is Slough? I didn't know.

And then along came the score. "And Aston Villa..."

I said, "Aston Villa!

"What a beautiful-sounding vacation paradise!"

LAUGHTER

-It seems so Roman!

-Yeah, it does!

-Slightly Roman!

Lay in the sun and they'll bring me a pina colada

and I'll just spend two weeks in Aston Villa.

LAUGHTER

-If only you knew. Well, you do now!

-Well, I do now, yeah!

-And I'm still with them!

-Yeah!

-In and out.

-Unlucky!

-LAUGHTER

Er, Paper Gods is the new album, which is out now!

On this album, you've collaborated with other people, haven't you?

-Like Mark Ronson, people like that?

-Yeah.

Now, I read somewhere - who was resistant?

Who thought, "We must not collaborate,

"we are Duran Duran, keep it pure"?

Well, I've been...I've been holding on to the microphone very jealously

-for about 30 years, maybe more.

-It's call job insecurity.

-LAUGHTER

-Yeah. And, um...

I just, I never wanted...

Whenever you do a collaboration, it's always a vocal collaboration,

and I just thought I'm going to get sidelined

and end up the backing vocalist of Duran Duran.

Nothing wrong with the backing vocals, by the way.

-LAUGHTER

-But, um...

-See, they're gone!

Not on the couch, are they? No!

LAUGHTER

Even the drummer made it with his own stool, but he made it!

-APPLAUSE

-We could use some drums!

That's what happens when you're the drummer!

And it's not just an album, there's going to be a tour.

And what's it like touring now?

It must be very different to touring before.

Well, when we used to get stuck on the motorway in the snow,

we'd have to find a red phone box, stop the car,

get out, someone would get into the phone box

and we'd say, "Hey, looks like we could be two hours or four hours."

"We'll see you when we get there."

Now, actually, you send a text and you say,

"Well, we're two hours and 22 minutes away."

Then you send another text saying,

"We're about two hours and 18 minutes away."

-It's communication...

-That's quite amazing, actually, cos

when you say, "What's the difference between touring now and then?"

red phone boxes was not what sprung to my mind.

LAUGHTER

Nor mine!

Very quickly, the album cover... The album cover is beautiful.

And by the way, how very Shoreditch of me,

I have a vinyl copy. Um...

The...the...

-The artwork relates to various bits of your past.

-Yeah.

And, on the sofa - we've talked about fans tonight -

on the sofa is a super Duran Duran fan.

-Tom? Really?

-ROGER: Which one is it?

LAUGHTER

No, it's David Walliams.

-I did...

-Well, I knew THAT!

I did my project in music at school on you guys.

I had lots of facts.

Like "Simon Le Bon may sound French, but he's actually from Birmingham."

LAUGHTER

-JOHN: Pinner!

-I'm from Pinner!

-Are you?

-Yeah.

-LAUGHTER

OK, quick test, then -

can you name the albums or videos that these images come from?

We'll start with an easy one.

-View To A Kill.

-Yes, even

-I

-got that.

Er, what about the pink phone?

-Um, is that from the Rio video?

-Yes, it is!

-Yes!

-Wow!

-Good and, actually, so is the cocktail.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah!

What about the sumo wrestler?

Er, Girls on Film video.

He's good! He's on fire! He's on fire!

What about the, er, the big fangs?

-Er, Wild Boys.

-Yeah!

-Aw, he's genius! Genius! Very good.

APPLAUSE

Well, listen, good luck with the album.

Good luck with the tour. Duran Duran, everybody.

-Very good!

-Thank you!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

TOM DROWNED OUT BY CHEERING

Right, before we go, just time for a visit

to the big red chair. Who's there?

-Hello!

-Hello!

-Hi, what's your name?

-I'm Shelley.

-Shelley. And where are you from, Shelley?

-Beckenham in Kent.

-Lovely.

-Again.

-Again! Lovely!

-LAUGHTER

Um...er... So many places to enjoy!

-And what do you do there?

-I'm a secretary.

-In what sort of firm?

-Landscaping.

-Oh, landscaping!

You can say that! You won't get fired! Is this about you

-stealing things from the office?

-No, it's from an old job.

-OK. Oh, it's your old job?

-Yeah.

-Let's be very...

-This is not where she works now!

-No! No.

-OK, off you go with your story.

OK, I used to work for a well-known funeral directors and...

Can I just say? I'm already loving this story.

-LAUGHTER This is going to be good! OK!

-OK.

So, one day, an elderly gentleman was brought into the chapel of rest.

Um, and he had taken a Viagra pill...

-Oh!

-..and unfortunately passed away by making passionate love

to his young dollybird of a wife.

The next day, when we went to obviously put the coffin lid on,

-there was...

-No!

HUGE LAUGHTER No! This could not be true!

It's very true.

Unfortunately, he wasn't the only thing that was stiff.

APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

-BOING!

-You know, he'd just got out of jail! He's a hardened criminal!

-TOM:

-A hardened criminal! You're bad!

-That's incredible!

-Very true.

-Well, I...

Well, I dread to... I'm going to ask. What did you do?

-LAUGHTER

-Er...

-Did you put a Bible on it?

-Was it a...?

-We had major problems putting the lid on, put it this way.

Yeah, all right! I think she can walk.

-It's a fantastic testament to Viagra, isn't it?

-It actually is!

-Yes!

-That is right. "I'm dead!"

-Even in death!

-Yeah!

-You can walk. You can walk.

-Thank you.

-Well done!

-Yay!

-Well done! CHEERING

Well done in the big red chair!

If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in that chair, you can.

Contact us via our website at this very address.

Ladies and gentlemen, that is it for tonight.

Please say thank you to all my guests - Duran Duran!

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Thank you! Thank you!

David Walliams! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Peter Capaldi! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And Mr Tom Hanks!

APPLAUSE AND HUGE CHEER

-Holy cow!

-It's so sensitive!

-I don't know how that happened!

-Oh, my God!

-It's incredible!

Join me next week with music from The Corrs and a sofa of acting royalty.

We've got James McAvoy, Daniel Radcliffe,

Benedict Cumberbatch and Johnny Depp.

-AUDIENCE:

-Ooh!

-I'll see you then.

Goodnight, everybody! Bye-bye!