Episode 14 The Graham Norton Show


Episode 14

On Graham's sofa are Matthew McConaughey, Christina Ricci and Josh Widdicombe. Ed Sheeran performs Castle on the Hill.


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Transcript


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Good evening, I'm Matthew McConaughey

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and this is The Graham Norton Show.

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CHEERING

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This programme contains some strong language.

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CHEERING Oh! Oh!

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Oh, too kind!

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Thank you very much! Thank you very much! Thank you!

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Hello! Hello and welcome! Welcome to the show!

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Friday night, yahoo!

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Hey, what a week we've had, ladies and gentlemen.

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Theresa May...Theresa May unveiled her plan for Brexit.

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Oh, she's been working night and day on them,

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which is presumably why she's still in her pyjamas.

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She looks great. Mmm, my Brexit, it's hard!

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Now, erm... "Do you like your hard Brexit? Do you like it?"

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Who came up with that phrase? It's awful, isn't it?

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"I'll show you a hard Brexit!"

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Of course, the big news is that this afternoon,

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Donald Trump officially became US president. Insert noise here.

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Yes, in a not-star-studded ceremony,

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The Donald swore his oath of allegiance.

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The rest of the world just swore - "What the..."

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During the inauguration, Trump was positioned behind bulletproof glass,

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you know, in case he lost his temper and shot some Mexicans.

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The ceremony went well, but there was one awkward moment,

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when a female guest was bursting for the toilet

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and asked Trump where she could go for a wee.

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Hey, let's get the guests on! CHEERING

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He's one of Britain's favourite stand-ups

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and the star of his own sitcom,

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please welcome Devon's finest, Josh Widdicombe!

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CHEERING

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-Whoo! Hello, sir! Hi! How are you?

-I just tripped.

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Have a little seat there. Did you trip?

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I didn't even see, I didn't see it.

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She's done the impossible of going from child star in The Addams Family

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to one of Hollywood's most successful and quirky actresses.

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Please welcome the lovely Christina Ricci!

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CHEERING

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Oh, I didn't notice all that. That's fantastic, it's beautiful. Hello!

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Come in, sit down, Christina Ricci.

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He's one of our most successful British singer-songwriters

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and after a year out of the spotlight, he's back.

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It's only the fabulous Ed Sheeran.

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CHEERING

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Hello! They're happy, they're happy to see you. Come in, sit down.

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Ed Sheeran.

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And this actor went from rom-com king

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to bona fide Oscar-winning movie star

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and now he's struck Gold in his latest crime adventure.

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Please welcome Mr Matthew McConaughey!

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CHEERING Hey!

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Have a seat.

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Whoo!

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CHEERING

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Feel the love! Feel the love! That was good, wasn't it? That was nice.

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That was nice, yeah. This is, like, a very mixed look.

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Sometimes, the show looks like

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everyone's just going to a showbiz funeral.

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-Tonight, it's very mixed.

-Thank you very much.

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Well, you, I've never seen you look that smart before in your life!

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No, I thought I'd make an effort, because last time I was on here

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was the month before I was voted

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GQ's second worst-dressed man in the world.

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I was voted worst dressed.

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-2012 worst dressed.

-Wow!

-Do you know how they described me?

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Because they do a little feature and they had a picture of me.

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They described my look as "an update on Bilbo Baggins".

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Update? He's not a historical figure.

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And, Ed Sheeran, lovely to have you back in the world,

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blinking into the lights, after your year away.

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What are you singing for us tonight?

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-Castle On The Hill.

-CHEERING

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-It's a hit, it's a hit.

-A song about Suffolk.

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There aren't enough songs about Suffolk.

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-I think that's the only one, yeah.

-And Matthew McConaughey,

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-congratulations on your new movie, Gold.

-Thank you.

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We'll talk about it a bit more in a bit,

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but I saw a clip and you were accepting an award for Gold

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and there was a really funny audience reaction.

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-Do you know what I'm talking about?

-I think I do.

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-So, you get up there, you get the prize.

-Yeah.

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And as I like to open up, usually I start off with "All right"

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of some sort, "All right, all right, all right."

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The first three words I ever said on film and I think...

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I don't think about it, but I think this night, I just said,

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"All right, so..." And then everyone goes, "Ah-ah-ah!"

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So, you can't say one "all right". You've got to do three?

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If it starts with one, I've got to add the other two, yeah.

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The audience demands it.

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Is it like Beetlejuice? It appears if you say the third one?

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Something nice happens, yeah.

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All right, all right, all right.

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CHEERING

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See?

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Now, Christina Ricci,

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you are sitting in a particular sandwich on our couch tonight.

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-Mm-hmm.

-Yes, you are because, Josh, you have been...

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-Have you been mistaken for...

-No, I have been mistaken...

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What, for Matthew McConaughey? All the time.

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The amount of photos I've taken as you, it's unbelievable.

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You wouldn't understand how many times they thought I was you!

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Exactly. They've come up to you, gone, "Who are you?"

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I've built a career of being mistaken for Ed Sheeran.

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I've had it quite a few times.

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-Do you get laid?

-You what?

-Do you get laid?

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I'm just wondering.

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I meet ginger people all the time that are like, "Thanks!"

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-Yes.

-So, I get...

-That's a little awkward now, Josh, isn't it?

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So, I'm now the only Ed Sheeran that's not getting laid?

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I've got the worst of both worlds!

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I was literally just talking about this with Christina backstage,

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cos there is a kid who...

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His job is, like, people employ him when they can't get me for stuff,

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they employ him to look like me.

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Is this this guy?

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-Yeah.

-Isn't that... Now, you've met him, you've met him.

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Mate, that's not cool. I don't think I look like him.

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-I thought that was, like, a doctored picture of you.

-No, really.

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-Wait, here you are together.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Now, in fairness...

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That was a while back, though.

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I've managed to grow a little bit of facial hair.

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He looks like you looking into a spoon.

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Yeah, when I filmed the Bridget Jones film,

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I could only do one day instead of two,

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-so they cast him for the second day.

-No!

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He actually cops off with Bridget's mate in it.

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So, again, getting people laid - it's working.

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No, no, but you have done a great job

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cos so many people post pictures,

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particularly quite beautiful women post pictures,

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thinking that they've met you and sometimes...

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It's always just a fat dude

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who looks a bit drunk that's gone like that.

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I didn't want to say that, but you're right.

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I mean, some of these are quite ropey.

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Like, "Met Ed Sheeran last night."

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How happy does he look?!

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I tell you what, he is definitely getting laid.

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I've never had any of that excitement.

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I went to watch England at the European Championships

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and I heard people around me whispering,

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going, "There he is, there he is!"

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I thought, "Here we go!"

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And then the whole of the England contingent stood up

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and started shouting and pointing at me, "You're just a shit Ed Sheeran!"

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I'm so sorry, man. I'm so sorry.

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But, now, talking of pictures on the internet, Christina Ricci,

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you've found a real niche for yourself. Tell us about...

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Is it called Ricci-ing?

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Yeah, it's Ricci-ing, but I like to call it I Can Fit In That.

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-That's the hashtag.

-That's the series.

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The series is the I Can Fit In That series.

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-So, you put them on Instagram.

-Yeah.

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And I think we've got some of the pictures of...

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Before we show them, how did this happen?

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I just have always really liked to try to fit into small things.

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And my two-year-old, without me doing anything,

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he likes to get into small things also, so it must be genetic.

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Did this start before you were born?

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So, here you are. I don't know whether it was...

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It was a thinker, that one, wasn't it? It was tough.

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A way-homer. Gets it on the way home.

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Here you are. This is you. Now, I hope your two-year-old...

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Is that a dryer or a washer?

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I did get all the way in either the washer or the dryer.

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It was like on top of each other, I don't remember which one.

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You know you can just take your clothes off and put it in?

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-I like a challenge.

-On the girl!

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-What else have you got in? Is that your sink?

-That was my sink, yes.

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-And you thought, "I can fit in that."

-That's what I thought, yes.

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-And you could.

-There's the fridge one, too, which is pretty good.

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-We've got the fridge.

-Oh, good. Yeah.

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Cos that was a challenge. That was a real hard one to get into.

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-Oh, really?

-Yeah, cos, look, see how my leg doesn't really fit?

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I guess, yes, but it looks more capacious.

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-There's nothing really you can fit in here.

-Are you sure?

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-Could you fit in that fruit bowl?

-I mean, like, yeah.

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-Oh, could you?

-Oh, let's see.

-Shall we get rid of the fruit?

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"Shall we get rid of the fruit?" No, leave it!

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OK, can she get in?

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I mean, I can get in, but not my entire body.

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Oh, no, no, clearly...

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-Focus, focus, focus, focus.

-Oh, no, that is...

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-Look at that!

-Whoa!

-So if it was just a tube, I'd be able to do it.

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Ladies and gentlemen, she's in a fruit bowl.

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APPLAUSE

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-Hope I don't flash anyone or lose a shoe.

-That is a first.

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We've never had a guest in the fruit bowl before.

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Well done, well done.

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It'd have been very disappointing if you'd said, "We do that every week."

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Erm, right, let's start tonight with Gold, Matthew McConaughey's film

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which opens on the 3rd of February and this is an extraordinary story.

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-Yeah.

-It's one of those stories that could only be based on a true story,

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cos there's so many twists and turns and things you don't see coming.

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Was it a huge story in the States?

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Cos I don't remember reading about this story.

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He was Canadian and it was a huge story in the States

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because hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars were invested

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by New York bankers and their clients and, if you go see the film,

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you see a lot of that money was lost,

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almost all of that money was lost, so it was a huge story.

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This guy - his original name was David Walsh,

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I play him as Kenny Wells - literally, had a dream.

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He's a prospector.

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Literally, had a dream that he knew where the gold was in Indonesia.

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Hocked a watch, bought a one-way ticket to Indonesia,

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found the guy who could help him find the gold,

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talked him into it, saying,

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"We're going to find it, we're going to prove them all wrong",

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worked up a bunch of money and off they went and they found the gold.

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Biggest gold strike of that entire 30-year period.

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And then the question is, was there any gold or not?

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As we know, people like to buy into a story

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and a lot of people bought into this story and put in a lot of money.

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I didn't know it was a true story,

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but halfway through, I, kind of, thought,

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"This HAS to be a true story, cos of all the crazy stuff that goes on."

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Per usual, anything that's that crazy on screen,

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usually the truth trumps it and you find out it was true.

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Yeah, and to prepare for this, cos often actors go through

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kind of hell to prepare for roles,

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-it sounded like it was quite fun preparing for this.

-Yes.

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I've had roles where I lost a lot of weight.

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In this one, I got to gain a lot of weight

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and the gaining is a whole lot more fun.

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Can't fit in a fruit bowl, though, can you?

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Not even one of my butt cheeks.

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But it's interesting,

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as your family just thought you were, like, a different person.

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Well, for six months, I said,

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"I've got a rule, McConaughey, to get ready for this role.

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"You have to say yes to whatever desire you want 24/7 -

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"eat, drink, what have you.

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"And if you second guess yourself, you must have double."

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So, I was a real yes man.

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Pizza night, instead of Friday night, was Tuesday morning.

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If you wanted to go bowling at midnight on a school night,

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that's a great idea, too, kids, let's go.

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Erm...

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so, I really relaxed on the rules

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and cheeseburgers and beer for breakfast were a great idea.

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So, how hard was it to, kind of, go, "Oh, film's over"?

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I didn't think about it until we got there.

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I did notice that a few things that I thought were renting

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that were actually there to own.

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And I noticed that it had really set in and I did have a few moments

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where I was looking in the mirror, going, "This may be it, buddy.

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"This may be your profile."

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It's nice to know that's finally happened, though,

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cos I'm sure there are so many men, round the world who look at you,

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like, ripped in all the films, being like, "Oh, God, inhuman.

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-"How does he do that?" And now you're the same.

-Yeah, it was fun.

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My family, kind of, misses me being a fat-ass.

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Your kids at half 11 at night going, "Can we go bowling?" "No way!"

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I got so strict. No, my nickname in the family was Captain Fun.

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-Captain Fun!

-For the whole six months.

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It was like, "Another pizza? Yes!

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"Milkshakes for breakfast? Great idea!"

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-So, did your kids get fat, as well?

-No, they didn't.

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I mean, the whole family probably put on a little extra luggage,

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but, I mean...I was fat and happy.

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And we've got a clip.

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This is a moment in the film when your character could cash in.

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-Could cash in.

-He could cash in and make the millions.

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No-one in your family - I'm talking your children's grandchildren -

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will ever have to worry about money again.

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You see these hands, Brian?

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These are my father's hands.

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I have scratched and clawed through the hard earth with these hands

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and I will bury you with these hands.

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Now, you will tell this man...

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..he works for Kenny Wells.

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Very good.

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And I read you in an interview, talking about how

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when you read the script, you knew this man.

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I knew it right away, from the inside out.

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-But, kind of, through your dad.

-Yeah, through my dad.

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My dad was a pipe and oil salesman,

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which means he was peddling pipe, meaning you're on the phone,

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payphones, in the bar -

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before cellphones - and he would take me around the country.

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We'd hop in his car and we'd go office to office to people

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that owed him money and bringing his 12-year-old son

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would shame a lot of them into paying him, right?

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And he also loved a shady deal.

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He would always say, "Goddamn, buddy,

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"I'd rather do a shady deal with some fun people

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"than a great deal with a bunch of straight-asses."

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That's Kenny Wells.

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I just want to say, one story about your dad,

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the bet involving your brother, do you know the story I mean?

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-The bicycle?

-The motorcycle, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Another way my dad did "great business".

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Our upbringings are so similar, it's unbelievable.

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Are you getting laid?

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APPLAUSE

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I'm trying.

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Every time I come on this show, I get abused by Hollywood stars.

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-Check this out.

-You know what, I'm going to sit back and enjoy.

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It is a great story.

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So, my dad had a ranch one time with his friends

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and they'd been deer-hunting all day and it's late at night.

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They're sitting down at the bar and drinking and stuff

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and all of a sudden, the subject comes up

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of how high everybody can pee,

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how high on the wall, right?

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And he's got this buddy named Jim who's about 6'6"

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and they're playing cards and looking around

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and my dad sees this old BMX bike. And we couldn't afford a BMX bike.

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Now, my middle brother had been wanting a BMX motorcycle,

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but we couldn't afford it.

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There's this old CRX 80 over there and Dad says,

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"You know, Jim, my son, he could pee over your head on the wall,"

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and he goes, "No, there's no way he can do that,"

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and he goes, "Yeah, he can. I'll bet you. I'll bet the motorbike on it."

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And the guy goes, "There's no way, I'm 6'6"."

0:16:490:16:52

Pop gets in the car, drives an hour and a half back into town,

0:16:520:16:55

wakes my 12-year-old brother up in his tighty whities,

0:16:550:16:58

gets him out of bed.

0:16:580:16:59

When you get woke up in the middle of the night as a kid,

0:16:590:17:01

you've got to pee, right?

0:17:010:17:02

My dad says, "No, no, no, no, no, you're not going to pee."

0:17:020:17:04

"Have this bottle of water."

0:17:040:17:07

"Get in the car and have a sip on this beer

0:17:070:17:09

"cos we're about to go get yourself a motorcycle, buddy."

0:17:090:17:13

So, Pat sitting there in his tighty whities,

0:17:130:17:15

they ride an hour and a half back.

0:17:150:17:16

They get back at four in the morning

0:17:160:17:18

and brings my brother into the barn.

0:17:180:17:21

They put Jim up against the wall and Jim marks the mark at 6'6".

0:17:210:17:25

My daddy says, "Go ahead, boy."

0:17:250:17:29

Pee-yow!

0:17:290:17:30

Beat it by a foot, put the CRX in the back of the truck -

0:17:300:17:35

my brother's first motorcycle.

0:17:350:17:37

We love your brother!

0:17:390:17:42

Yeah, me, too.

0:17:420:17:44

Ed, you did a mad thing, cos you didn't have

0:17:470:17:51

a deprived childhood, but when you made money...

0:17:510:17:53

You could only piss at three feet!

0:17:550:17:57

Yeah, but when you made money, when you made money,

0:17:570:18:00

you bought certain things, didn't you?

0:18:000:18:02

-Stuff that you were denied as a child.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:18:030:18:08

Like, what did you buy?

0:18:080:18:09

OK! Well, I wasn't denied...

0:18:090:18:12

Any good parent will know, any parent in here, if a kid

0:18:120:18:15

wants a Lego set, you get them a small one.

0:18:150:18:17

You don't get them the big one that is 359 quid.

0:18:170:18:18

So, when my album went to number one, I was

0:18:180:18:20

passing the Lego store,

0:18:200:18:22

and I saw the big Death Star, and I went, "Do you know what?

0:18:220:18:25

"It's time."

0:18:250:18:27

I'm just a big kid now.

0:18:280:18:30

It isn't just that.

0:18:300:18:32

I went to go and buy my god-daughter a Ninja Turtle toy

0:18:320:18:35

for her birthday.

0:18:350:18:37

And I was in the Ninja Turtle section and there was this huge

0:18:370:18:39

truck. I looked at the small toy I got her,

0:18:390:18:41

and the big truck, and I was like, "I'm getting that for me."

0:18:410:18:44

I have loads and loads...

0:18:450:18:47

Are you like the kid from Big?

0:18:470:18:49

Yeah, I have a load of...

0:18:490:18:51

child stuff in my house, yeah. There is a room

0:18:510:18:56

full of teddy bears.

0:18:560:18:58

This is such an embarrassing interview.

0:18:580:19:00

That you didn't have as a kid?

0:19:000:19:02

Not that I didn't have, I just wanted them.

0:19:020:19:05

And out of us two, you're the one who's getting laid.

0:19:050:19:07

Let's hope those teddy bears don't have anything to do with it.

0:19:090:19:12

Who would have thought teddy bears was the key?!

0:19:120:19:14

I remember, actually, I once went on a date

0:19:140:19:16

-and brought a Lego set, made the Lego set, and then left.

-What?!

0:19:160:19:19

Wow.

0:19:220:19:23

That's going deep, man. That's strong moves.

0:19:240:19:27

What was she doing? She was eating her dinner and you were

0:19:270:19:29

-constructing...

-No, we were just chatting, catching up.

0:19:290:19:32

Just chatting. She's definitely going to be

0:19:320:19:33

watching this, like, "Yep, definitely happened."

0:19:330:19:36

-Wow.

-What did you make?

0:19:370:19:39

Pirates Of The Caribbean pirate ship.

0:19:390:19:41

Yeah, he's not a loser.

0:19:430:19:45

I hope you gave it to her as a gift at the end.

0:19:450:19:48

No.

0:19:490:19:50

Josh, your parents, they did buy you things.

0:19:530:19:57

They did. I grew up in Devon.

0:19:570:19:58

It was similar...

0:19:580:20:00

So, it's, kind of, the middle of nowhere.

0:20:020:20:04

There were four kids at my year at school.

0:20:040:20:07

-I grew up in the middle of nowhere.

-MURMURING

0:20:070:20:09

All right!

0:20:090:20:11

So, my parents tried to, kind of, make stuff educational.

0:20:110:20:15

I don't know what bed you had when you were a child,

0:20:150:20:18

I imagine now your bed is bizarre, Ed.

0:20:180:20:21

I imagine you sleep on a bouncy castle or something now.

0:20:210:20:24

It's pretty regular.

0:20:240:20:26

Is it one of those race car beds?

0:20:260:20:28

-That's what

-I

-saw!

0:20:300:20:32

One of those, it is sunk into the ground.

0:20:320:20:34

It's, like, proper comfy, you can roll over onto the floor.

0:20:340:20:37

Like a trampoline?

0:20:370:20:38

You don't want roll over too much, you don't want

0:20:380:20:40

to lie on the Lego, that's very painful.

0:20:400:20:42

I have a pair of stuffed pandas in my room.

0:20:420:20:45

Stuffed pandas. Two.

0:20:450:20:47

I don't know what's true any more!

0:20:490:20:52

Believe everything.

0:20:520:20:53

My bed, when I was a kid, my parents bought me this thing

0:20:530:20:57

called a cabin bed. This was the height of a bunk bed,

0:20:570:21:00

but below it, instead of another bed, I had a desk.

0:21:000:21:04

Basically, my parents made the executive decision that

0:21:040:21:07

I was more likely to write a letter than have a friend.

0:21:070:21:10

Kids would come round, "Can I stay over?"

0:21:150:21:17

"No, but you can catch up on your admin."

0:21:170:21:19

Listen, Christina Ricci, you've brought out

0:21:240:21:28

a brand-new Amazon Prime Video. It's a new world, ladies and gentlemen.

0:21:280:21:31

-Zed, but you say Zee.

-I say Zee, but you can say Zed.

0:21:310:21:35

Thank you. Z: The Beginning of Everything.

0:21:350:21:40

It starts screening on Amazon Prime next Friday.

0:21:400:21:42

And it tells the story of Zelda Fitzgerald and F Scott Fitzgerald,

0:21:420:21:45

who obviously wrote The Great Gatsby and lots of other things.

0:21:450:21:48

Now, I know the name Zelda Fitzgerald,

0:21:480:21:51

but why do we know her name?

0:21:510:21:53

Why has she continued to be famous through history?

0:21:530:21:55

Well, I mean, she was, sort of, the very outrageous wife

0:21:550:22:00

of Scott Fitzgerald.

0:22:000:22:01

The misconception about her, I don't know if you...

0:22:010:22:04

In America, there was this thing that she was this crazy alcoholic

0:22:040:22:07

woman who ruined Scott Fitzgerald.

0:22:070:22:09

And, of course the truth is a little bit more complicated than that.

0:22:090:22:12

So, this is the story of their marriage, from her point of view.

0:22:120:22:18

Is the stuff true that F Scott Fitzgerald would lift

0:22:180:22:21

bits of her writing and use it?

0:22:210:22:23

Yeah, right out of her letters and out of her journal

0:22:230:22:26

and so, when she wanted to publish her own writing,

0:22:260:22:28

she was not allowed to publish very much, because he felt

0:22:280:22:32

you'd be able to tell that a lot of his writing was hers.

0:22:320:22:37

I mean, that's nuts, isn't it?

0:22:370:22:38

Isn't it nuts, a little bit?

0:22:380:22:40

Is this your first television thing?

0:22:400:22:42

It's my first one that I, sort of, produced and starred in.

0:22:420:22:45

Because for an actress, it must be so different from being

0:22:450:22:49

in a movie, where you are gauging a performance over 1½, 2 hours,

0:22:490:22:52

and suddenly you've got this performance that is

0:22:520:22:54

going to arc over several hours.

0:22:540:22:55

Yeah, it's really interesting, it's very different,

0:22:550:22:58

but I think one thing that's really nice about

0:22:580:23:00

doing a series, a bio series,

0:23:000:23:02

is that you really get to live with the person.

0:23:020:23:05

So, the evolution can actually take what feels like more

0:23:050:23:09

of a natural amount of time.

0:23:090:23:11

Is there enough material to go on and do loads of seasons?

0:23:110:23:15

Yeah, yeah, I mean, they had this really intense

0:23:150:23:19

and crazy love affair.

0:23:190:23:21

Very dysfunctional and chaotic.

0:23:210:23:23

And they were, kind of, the first really famous celebrity couple -

0:23:230:23:26

like, she was just famous for being his wife, really.

0:23:260:23:29

She had all of these talents, but she wasn't really

0:23:290:23:31

able to explore them, so, it's pretty fascinating.

0:23:310:23:35

Listen, we've got a clip to watch.

0:23:350:23:37

This is when Zelda realises that F Scott Fitzgerald

0:23:370:23:40

is stealing her work.

0:23:400:23:42

I told you that I needed to be alone and, yet,

0:23:420:23:45

here you are, judging my... my pace, my process!

0:23:450:23:49

You don't just stumble into beauty, Zelda, it takes

0:23:490:23:51

herculean focus and effort.

0:23:510:23:54

And gin. There are more empty bottles in here than you

0:23:540:23:56

-have pages.

-You know, what I do is very different from

0:23:560:24:01

the automatic writing that you do in your diary.

0:24:010:24:04

How dare you.

0:24:040:24:05

These are not random. These are my thoughts and dreams.

0:24:050:24:09

And you told me you thought my writing was beautiful.

0:24:090:24:13

I'm sorry I interrupted your process.

0:24:130:24:16

For your information, I have written

0:24:160:24:19

three stories already, but I have to do both.

0:24:190:24:22

Max wants the new novel by September and he's

0:24:220:24:25

not going to give me another advance.

0:24:250:24:27

So, without the stories, how do we afford this house,

0:24:270:24:29

how do we afford anything?

0:24:290:24:30

You think that just appeared on your wrist by magic?

0:24:300:24:34

I don't want this, you horse's ass.

0:24:360:24:38

I want YOU.

0:24:400:24:41

APPLAUSE

0:24:410:24:44

This can't be true, this is your first romantic lead?

0:24:510:24:54

It, kind of, is. My, my first, straight, dramatic, romantic lead.

0:24:540:25:00

-Wow.

-Yeah.

-Good on ya!

-Thanks.

0:25:000:25:03

And it's also, ladies and gentlemen, people may not be aware,

0:25:030:25:06

-it's your first use of a merkin.

-Oh, yeah.

0:25:060:25:09

Now, for people who are not familiar

0:25:090:25:11

-with what a merkin is, do explain.

-Well, a merkin...

0:25:110:25:14

-Somebody on this couch already knows what a merkin is.

-So well!

0:25:140:25:17

A merkin is a wig for your nether regions.

0:25:170:25:19

It's a wig for your nether regions. Nicely described.

0:25:190:25:22

Now, I know that body hair was perhaps

0:25:220:25:25

different in, kind of,

0:25:250:25:27

the time that your show is set.

0:25:270:25:29

But you posted a picture of the merkin.

0:25:290:25:33

And I have to say, it was bigger than I was anticipating.

0:25:330:25:36

You could barely fit that in a fruit bowl.

0:25:400:25:42

You must have felt like you were wearing a grass skirt.

0:25:420:25:46

-It was big.

-That is an enormous merkin.

0:25:460:25:48

-It was pretty big.

-If you don't mind me saying.

0:25:480:25:51

Did they trim it to size?

0:25:530:25:55

We trimmed it down a lot, yeah.

0:25:550:25:56

But what's interesting, the last time I was here,

0:25:560:25:58

I had a period...

0:25:580:26:00

A period film...

0:26:000:26:02

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:26:020:26:05

So open. Let's just talk. Let's just talk.

0:26:070:26:10

And we'll all do our period anecdotes.

0:26:100:26:13

Because I was doing Bel Ami and I had to have full armpit hair.

0:26:130:26:16

Yes, he was making you grow them out.

0:26:160:26:18

Yes. And you guys kept trying to get me to do cartwheels

0:26:180:26:21

-and raise my arms and stuff.

-And you refused!

0:26:210:26:23

-I refused.

-Cos you're a lady.

-That's right.

0:26:230:26:25

Meanwhile...

0:26:250:26:27

Actually, talking of merkin, Ed, you, sort of,

0:26:290:26:32

have a story about this. Cos you know...

0:26:320:26:34

-Do I?!

-Well, you know the actor Richard Madden, don't you?

0:26:360:26:39

-Yeah, very well.

-The last time he was on the show...

0:26:390:26:41

-Oh, yeah, he told me.

-..he told a story about "a singer".

0:26:410:26:44

-And...

-You don't wear one, do you?!

0:26:440:26:46

No, I got given it.

0:26:460:26:48

I get given a lot of cakes by fans.

0:26:480:26:50

And I used to eat all of the cakes.

0:26:500:26:52

And one time I cut into it and there was a load of hair in it.

0:26:520:26:55

-GROANING

-So it was somebody who really liked you.

0:26:550:26:58

Yeah, I imagine she wanted to be, like, "I'm inside you."

0:26:580:27:01

Oh, so, like a Fatal Attraction kind of thing?

0:27:020:27:05

-Did you write a song about that?

-No, I didn't. Maybe I should!

0:27:050:27:08

There was a massive clump that just, kind of, came out like...

0:27:080:27:11

Because, if people... I'm not suggesting anybody does...

0:27:120:27:16

That's like a hair pie, right?

0:27:160:27:17

If people make something for you, would it ever get to you,

0:27:170:27:22

or is there a firewall before it reaches you?

0:27:220:27:24

I wish there was more firewalls sometimes.

0:27:240:27:27

But, yeah, there's a lot of interesting things that

0:27:270:27:30

still show up in my mailbox.

0:27:300:27:32

Do you open everything?

0:27:320:27:34

-Sorry, don't answer that.

-No.

0:27:340:27:36

I will tell you what I do.

0:27:360:27:37

Some of it, I open, but I don't return any of it.

0:27:370:27:40

Because I just got this feeling that somebody is going to go,

0:27:400:27:44

"Yeah, look, he sent me back this letter, because I sent it to..."

0:27:440:27:48

And I just got a feeling that that's going to spread,

0:27:480:27:50

and I'm going to be getting a whole lot more mail.

0:27:500:27:52

You don't want to be like Ringo Starr,

0:27:520:27:54

cos he replied to everything and one day was just like,

0:27:540:27:56

"I can't any more" and stopped.

0:27:560:27:57

And he replied for 40 years to everything.

0:27:570:28:00

I had that when I got a fan letter.

0:28:000:28:02

You've opened the floodgates now.

0:28:050:28:07

I've opened the floodgates and that second one, sssh.

0:28:070:28:11

But you have been sent some odd things.

0:28:110:28:13

I've been sent some weird things.

0:28:130:28:16

I got sent a picture

0:28:160:28:18

of a ginger family.

0:28:180:28:20

And I've got no idea who they were.

0:28:220:28:23

It was my Christmas card to you!

0:28:230:28:25

NOW the face seems familiar.

0:28:270:28:29

It was really weird, I still don't know, it felt like somebody

0:28:290:28:32

was trying to tell me I was adopted.

0:28:320:28:33

Now, Josh Widdicombe, very busy man.

0:28:350:28:38

He's got a new DVD out now, What Do I Do Now...

0:28:380:28:41

-That was your last tour, right?

-Last tour, yeah.

0:28:410:28:44

Your sitcom Josh has just been recommissioned. Congratulations.

0:28:440:28:47

-Yes, I'm writing the third series now.

-Are you in the middle

0:28:470:28:49

-of that now?

-Yes, but it's fine, I'm normally in it, but I'm just going

0:28:490:28:52

to cast that guy that looks like Ed Sheeran.

0:28:520:28:54

And very exciting, next Friday, The Last Leg is back.

0:28:540:28:59

Channel 4, at 10pm.

0:28:590:29:01

Now, I have to say, last year, what a gift for

0:29:010:29:03

doing a topical...

0:29:030:29:04

It was great, wasn't it?

0:29:040:29:06

Yeah, great to do a topical show when the world is going to shit.

0:29:060:29:10

Everyone's going to die, but we're going to get good ratings.

0:29:100:29:12

There was the Rio Olympics, as well, which is a good thing.

0:29:120:29:15

Yeah, the Rio Paralympics, we went there.

0:29:150:29:17

Then, we had Trump, which was interesting.

0:29:170:29:20

And we thought, "He won't get elected."

0:29:200:29:23

And he did.

0:29:230:29:25

Then, we had Brexit.

0:29:250:29:27

I remember sitting in front of the television and seeing

0:29:270:29:31

Jeremy Corbyn on your show. How did that happen?

0:29:310:29:35

Um, so, Jeremy Corbyn is, kind of, our Bernie Sanders,

0:29:350:29:39

I suppose, kind of, figure.

0:29:390:29:41

And he came...

0:29:410:29:43

Blast from the past.

0:29:430:29:45

Great reference.

0:29:450:29:47

So, I think we just asked him to come on.

0:29:470:29:50

He genuinely turned up for the show and he'd never seen it.

0:29:500:29:55

So, he didn't know who I was.

0:29:560:29:58

I was, like, "I'm Josh," and he was, like,

0:29:580:30:00

thinking I was just some bloke, like...

0:30:000:30:03

And I was like, "I'm on the show," and he was like, "Oh, right, OK."

0:30:030:30:05

And I think he had been told he was going on a Friday night chat show.

0:30:050:30:08

I think he thought he was going on this.

0:30:080:30:10

He had his anecdote for the Red Chair and he was ready to go.

0:30:100:30:14

I feel like, if you want to be the leader of the country,

0:30:140:30:17

it is not that astute to go on a show you have never seen.

0:30:170:30:20

It's worrying. You imagine that if he was the leader

0:30:200:30:22

of the country and he'd meet the President of America,

0:30:220:30:24

and he would go, "I've no idea who you are."

0:30:240:30:26

The weirdest thing, I have never said this before,

0:30:260:30:29

but I was on a train the week after and he sat down -

0:30:290:30:33

in a seat - and he sat down opposite me and he didn't recognise me.

0:30:330:30:39

Can you believe it? I was like, "You all right?" And he went, "Yep."

0:30:420:30:45

Well, he was very busy.

0:30:470:30:50

Then he turned to me and he said, "Are you getting laid?"

0:30:500:30:52

I was like, "What are you talking about?"

0:30:520:30:55

Quickly, talking of unlikely encounters,

0:30:550:30:57

this was all in the papers, because your little...

0:30:570:31:01

Oh, no, mate, come on.

0:31:010:31:04

-What we read in the papers.

-I got cut up.

0:31:040:31:07

-Yes.

-I got cut up.

0:31:070:31:09

What do you think? Rugged, right?

0:31:090:31:11

I see that. I can't wait to hear about it.

0:31:110:31:13

-So, was it Beatrice or Eugenie?

-Oh, mate, I can't talk about it.

0:31:130:31:16

-Can you not talk about it?

-No.

-Oh, OK, sorry, I'll shut up.

0:31:160:31:18

Was it is a hat accident?

0:31:180:31:19

It was James Blunt, he was trying to get his pop career back.

0:31:190:31:22

He tried to kill you.

0:31:220:31:24

How did it end up in the papers?

0:31:250:31:27

I don't know. There wasn't a lot of people there that night.

0:31:270:31:31

-I have no idea...

-He can't tell the story!

0:31:310:31:33

I can't tell the story. You can say ALLEGEDLY what happened.

0:31:330:31:37

Allegedly one of the princesses, Eugenie or Beatrice.

0:31:370:31:40

-James Blunt.

-One of them, and James Blunt and Ed Sheeran

0:31:400:31:44

were in a room, presumably, in a palace.

0:31:440:31:46

And James Blunt ALLEGEDLY wanted to be knighted.

0:31:460:31:50

Is that a euphemism?

0:31:500:31:52

And so, one of the princesses found a handy sword to knight him.

0:31:540:31:59

-What?!

-Did you not read this in the papers?

0:31:590:32:01

I didn't know James Blunt was involved.

0:32:010:32:03

-Up to THAT point...

-Anyway,

0:32:040:32:06

there was a bit of sword play

0:32:060:32:08

and Ed Sheeran got cut in the face, is that right?

0:32:080:32:10

No.

0:32:100:32:11

Do you know what, I have no idea how that story came out,

0:32:130:32:16

I have no idea, because like, it was so tight,

0:32:160:32:20

and for, like, two weeks afterwards, I had this huge gash on my face

0:32:200:32:24

and people would be like, "What happened?"

0:32:240:32:26

And you would be like, "Oh, I fell?"

0:32:260:32:28

And then, suddenly, it came out. The alleged...

0:32:290:32:32

No, no, no. We'll stop. We'll stop.

0:32:360:32:39

Very quickly, Matthew, we must mention, this is a huge movie.

0:32:420:32:46

Sing. It's already been a huge hit in America.

0:32:460:32:49

Previewing this weekend, opens nationwide next Friday,

0:32:490:32:52

and it is an animated film, so presumably,

0:32:520:32:55

was this genuinely something, so your kids could go

0:32:550:32:59

-and see a film with Captain Fun?

-Partially.

0:32:590:33:01

I had... I think my kids were tired of answering the question,

0:33:010:33:05

not being able to answer the question, they said,

0:33:050:33:07

"What is your favourite film your dad's made?"

0:33:070:33:09

"We haven't been able to see any."

0:33:090:33:11

I look back at my last ten years and I haven't made

0:33:110:33:13

anything my kids can see. It is not a good idea to sit them

0:33:130:33:16

in front of...a lot of anything I have made in

0:33:160:33:21

the last ten years...yet.

0:33:210:33:22

You know, that opens up a lot of discussions.

0:33:220:33:25

I said I want to make something that they can watch

0:33:250:33:27

and so, I went and did Sing.

0:33:270:33:29

-Loved it.

-So, you play a koala, Buster Moon, and then...

0:33:290:33:34

LAUGHTER

0:33:340:33:36

It looks just like me.

0:33:360:33:38

When you were doing press for this in Australia,

0:33:380:33:41

people weren't upset, but must've been disappointed.

0:33:410:33:43

There was a bit of going, "That is our national animal.

0:33:430:33:47

"You should be talking like an Australian instead

0:33:470:33:50

"of like you did in the film."

0:33:500:33:51

I'm like, I lived there for a year, I didn't take it that literally.

0:33:510:33:54

I know it's a koala. I have seen them and they are not that fun.

0:33:540:33:58

They sit in the tree and everyone goes, "How cute." Other than that...

0:33:580:34:01

-Do you know they are all born with chlamydia.

-And they are nasty.

0:34:010:34:04

-All koalas are born with chlamydia?

-All koalas have chlamydia.

0:34:040:34:07

Lesson learned the hard way there.

0:34:070:34:10

It did make me wonder how it became a human disease.

0:34:120:34:15

If that's how you are getting laid, I am not interested.

0:34:150:34:18

Hence the stuffed pandas.

0:34:200:34:22

-I dug myself a hole there.

-You did.

0:34:220:34:24

Were you in Australia for a year?

0:34:260:34:28

I lived there for a year, as an exchange student,

0:34:280:34:30

two weeks out of high school.

0:34:300:34:32

A lot of British people go there and Australians come here,

0:34:320:34:34

but that is unusual for an American, isn't it?

0:34:340:34:36

I think so.

0:34:360:34:38

I mean, look, a lot of, not enough Americans

0:34:380:34:42

even have a passport.

0:34:420:34:43

It's a sly joke.

0:34:450:34:47

You know what I mean now.

0:34:470:34:49

And where I was raised, a lot of us didn't have passports.

0:34:490:34:52

It was my mother's idea, because me, like every other 18-year-old,

0:34:520:34:56

I could say maybe I wanted to be this, but I didn't know

0:34:560:34:59

what the hell I wanted to be.

0:34:590:35:00

So my mom said, "You love to travel, why don't you go off to Australia,

0:35:000:35:04

"as an exchange student?" I was like, "Great idea."

0:35:040:35:06

I went for the year and worked 11 different odd jobs.

0:35:060:35:08

-But they must remember you.

-They do.

0:35:080:35:11

Every time I do Australian press,

0:35:110:35:14

certain families, the first family I lived with, the Crockers,

0:35:140:35:18

whoever is doing the interview says,

0:35:180:35:20

"We've got a surprise for you, mate."

0:35:200:35:22

And in steps Raymond or Eileen and they go,

0:35:220:35:27

"How you going, you going all right?"

0:35:270:35:28

I say, "Yeah, I'm doing fine."

0:35:280:35:30

Because, Ed Sheeran, you went on your gap year, I guess.

0:35:320:35:36

-It was, kind of, a gap year.

-Yeah.

0:35:360:35:38

Did you know how long it was going to be when you went on it?

0:35:380:35:41

What did you do? You came off social media.

0:35:410:35:43

I got rid of my phone completely. Still don't have one.

0:35:430:35:46

-You should try it. It is decent.

-Way to sober up on that.

0:35:460:35:49

-Seriously?

-I bought an iPad. Now I just do e-mails,

0:35:490:35:53

so I got rid of my phone completely and then was like,

0:35:530:35:57

I want to go to the countries

0:35:570:35:59

where I had been to and toured and only seen a dressing room,

0:35:590:36:03

a venue and a bar, and then... So, Australia was one of those.

0:36:030:36:07

I had never been to the Sydney Opera House or gone to

0:36:070:36:10

the Barrier Reef properly or Gold Coast, so I rented a Mini

0:36:100:36:15

and drove up the coast. And then, I did New Zealand

0:36:150:36:17

and Japan, for two months,

0:36:170:36:18

Iceland, which is great. Everyone should go to Iceland.

0:36:180:36:21

There was a lot of death wish, I feel, in your trip.

0:36:210:36:24

Iceland was the death wish.

0:36:240:36:26

I put my foot in a boiling geyser up a volcano.

0:36:260:36:29

-What?!

-I was walking up, on my 25th birthday, I went

0:36:290:36:33

to Iceland to see the Northern Lights, and I got, when I was at

0:36:330:36:37

the top of the volcano and we were walking round, and they were like,

0:36:370:36:40

"Don't go off the path, cos it's dangerous."

0:36:400:36:42

I went, "OK," didn't clock it, and I saw a little pool

0:36:420:36:44

of water that was bubbling. I thought, "That is quite cool -

0:36:440:36:47

"volcano, bubbling." walked over, they were, "Don't walk over there."

0:36:470:36:50

And I was like, "Why?" And slipped, the ground collapsed.

0:36:500:36:53

-Scary!

-And I don't know if you have had an experience where you felt

0:36:530:36:56

like you were going to die, but it went slow motion.

0:36:560:36:59

I was like, "Oh, right, that's it, then"

0:36:590:37:01

But I was wearing steel-capped Timberland boots,

0:37:010:37:05

so it slipped in and I, kind of, fell on the side

0:37:050:37:08

and pulled it out

0:37:080:37:09

and I just felt melting, and I was like, "Oh, my God!",

0:37:090:37:12

screaming, screaming, and they were, "Don't take it off."

0:37:120:37:15

And I was like "Why?" And I took

0:37:150:37:17

my sock off and all the skin came with it.

0:37:170:37:19

-That is so awful.

-So, even worse...

0:37:210:37:23

That's not the end of the story?!

0:37:230:37:25

-Even worse?!

-I get helicoptered out and they put a skin graft on it,

0:37:250:37:29

because there is no skin, and I am like shaking like this in bed,

0:37:290:37:33

like trying to get to bed.

0:37:330:37:35

Oh, man up!

0:37:350:37:36

LAUGHTER

0:37:360:37:38

Then, I just pass out and I wake up to the tannoy

0:37:380:37:41

of the hotel being like, "Right, there it is, folks,

0:37:410:37:44

"the greatest sighting of the Northern Lights

0:37:440:37:45

"in the last 20 years. That won't be happening again for a while."

0:37:450:37:48

I was hoping the announcement was, "There he is, folks,

0:37:520:37:54

"Ed Sheeran with a burned foot."

0:37:540:37:55

-It was pretty bad.

-Wow. Is it all right now?

-Is there scarring?

0:37:550:38:00

Yeah, it just, kind of, looks like that.

0:38:000:38:03

Take your word for it.

0:38:030:38:05

You're good, you're good.

0:38:070:38:09

So, you checked out for a year and travelled?

0:38:090:38:12

-Yes, took a whole year off.

-Because?

0:38:120:38:14

-Er...I don't know.

-Has this turned into a job interview?

0:38:160:38:19

I got to the end of a five-year tour and had everything

0:38:190:38:22

to show for it professionally

0:38:220:38:24

and nothing to show for it personally.

0:38:240:38:27

Kind of, like, I had all these accolades and plaques

0:38:270:38:31

and it was like, "Wow, everything is good" and everyone was like,

0:38:310:38:34

"So what you up to when you get back home?" and I was like, "No idea."

0:38:340:38:37

And they were like, "How was Australia?" I was like,

0:38:370:38:41

"I could tell you about this bar or the plane." I am sure you have that.

0:38:410:38:45

I asked, because I've taken trips where I needed to let memory catch

0:38:450:38:49

up with me and check in with just me,

0:38:490:38:51

go to places where you are anonymous...

0:38:510:38:53

That can't happen in very many places with you.

0:38:530:38:57

There is a few in Africa I've found.

0:38:570:38:59

But I mean, I know what you mean.

0:39:010:39:04

Japan was the one for me.

0:39:040:39:05

I looked a sales list of where I had sold albums,

0:39:050:39:08

and Japan was like... I was like, "I'm going there."

0:39:080:39:11

You are going to sing for us and this is extraordinary,

0:39:110:39:14

you are number one around the globe right now.

0:39:140:39:18

In America, Australia, everywhere. APPLAUSE

0:39:180:39:21

And this, is this the only country where you are number one AND two?

0:39:240:39:28

No, I am number one and number two in every country.

0:39:280:39:31

Apart from America, I am number one and six, cos it works differently

0:39:310:39:34

-with radio.

-What, the numbers are in a different order?

0:39:340:39:37

-No, America...

-It's a new era!

0:39:390:39:41

One, six, three, four, two.

0:39:410:39:43

America's the only country in the world where it isn't

0:39:430:39:45

just sales. It is radio, and loads of other shit, so it is harder.

0:39:450:39:50

So, is the one and two order the same around the world?

0:39:500:39:53

-Or does it flip?

-Yeah. I'm hoping after this show, we flip them.

0:39:530:39:56

OK! I am hoping two will go to one.

0:39:560:39:58

OK. You are giving us your number two tonight.

0:39:580:40:00

Ha-ha-ha(!)

0:40:020:40:04

Your stage awaits. Ed Sheeran.

0:40:050:40:08

Very good.

0:40:080:40:10

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:40:100:40:12

OK, here we go, performing Castle On The Hill,

0:40:120:40:16

it is Mr Ed Sheeran!

0:40:160:40:18

# When I was six years old I broke my leg

0:40:230:40:26

# I was running from my brother and his friends

0:40:290:40:33

# Tasted the sweet perfume of the mountain grass I rolled down

0:40:350:40:41

# I was younger then Take me back to when I

0:40:410:40:48

# Found my heart and broke it here

0:40:490:40:52

# Made friends and lost them through the years

0:40:520:40:55

# And I've not seen the roaring fields in so long

0:40:550:40:59

# I know, I've grown

0:40:590:41:02

# But I can't wait to go home

0:41:020:41:04

# I'm on my way

0:41:040:41:08

# Driving at 90 down those country lanes

0:41:080:41:13

# Singing to Tiny Dancer

0:41:130:41:17

# And I miss the way you make me feel and it's real

0:41:170:41:23

# When we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

0:41:230:41:29

# 15 years old and smoking hand-rolled cigarettes

0:41:330:41:37

# Running from the law through the back fields

0:41:390:41:42

# And getting drunk with my friends

0:41:420:41:44

# Had my first kiss on a Friday night

0:41:460:41:48

# I don't reckon that I did it right

0:41:480:41:52

# But I was younger then Mm, take me back to when we found

0:41:520:41:58

# Weekend jobs and when we got paid

0:41:580:42:01

# We'd buy cheap spirits and drink them straight

0:42:010:42:04

# Me and my friends have not thrown up in so long

0:42:040:42:09

# Oh, how we've grown

0:42:090:42:12

# But I can't wait to go home

0:42:120:42:14

# I'm on my way

0:42:140:42:17

# Driving at 90 down those country lanes

0:42:170:42:23

# Singing to Tiny Dancer

0:42:230:42:26

# And I miss the way you make me feel, it's real

0:42:260:42:32

# When we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

0:42:320:42:39

# We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

0:42:390:42:45

# One friend left to sell clothes

0:42:520:42:55

# And one works down by the coast

0:42:550:42:58

# One had two kids but lives alone

0:42:580:43:01

# One's brother overdosed

0:43:020:43:05

# One's already on his second wife

0:43:050:43:08

# One's just barely getting by

0:43:080:43:11

# But these people raised me

0:43:110:43:13

# And I can't wait to go home

0:43:130:43:17

# And I'm on my way

0:43:170:43:20

# I still remember these old country lanes

0:43:200:43:26

# When we did not know the answers

0:43:260:43:30

# And I miss the way you make me feel, and it's real

0:43:300:43:36

# When we watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

0:43:360:43:42

# We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill

0:43:420:43:49

# We watched the sunset over the castle on the hill. #

0:43:490:43:55

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:570:44:01

-Thank you.

-Ed Sheeran, everybody!

0:44:040:44:07

Great job!

0:44:070:44:08

Come back and join us. That was fantastic.

0:44:110:44:13

Thank you so much. It was beautiful. Have a seat.

0:44:150:44:19

A hero's return.

0:44:190:44:21

Have a seat, do.

0:44:240:44:25

Sit, sit, sit, just bunch up there.

0:44:250:44:27

Very good. And, of course, the album, everyone's very excited,

0:44:270:44:31

the album comes out, Divide, 3rd of March.

0:44:310:44:33

-Third album, third month, third day.

-Oh, I've got a vinyl.

0:44:330:44:36

-Oh, clever.

-I do!

0:44:360:44:38

Check THAT out.

0:44:380:44:40

We haven't even made it yet, but we made that

0:44:400:44:43

specially for you. Look at it, it's not real.

0:44:430:44:46

Oh!

0:44:460:44:47

LAUGHTER

0:44:470:44:49

Hence, more valuable...

0:44:490:44:51

All right, it's nearly time to go,

0:44:540:44:56

but we've just got time to go for the visit to the Big Red Chair.

0:44:560:45:00

-Hello.

-Hello.

-Hello!

0:45:000:45:02

-Hi. What's your name?

-James.

-James, lovely James.

0:45:020:45:05

-And what do you do?

-I'm a civil servant.

0:45:050:45:07

A civil servant, lovely, in London here?

0:45:070:45:09

-Yes, in London.

-And are you from the London area?

0:45:090:45:11

No, I live in London, but I'm originally from Suffolk.

0:45:110:45:14

Yeah, mate!

0:45:140:45:16

It's a Suffolk massive.

0:45:160:45:18

Is he mentioned in the song?

0:45:190:45:21

Probably, yeah.

0:45:210:45:22

-What school did you go to?

-Um, so...I went to Brandestone.

0:45:220:45:26

-Oh, sweet, yeah. I went there for primary school.

-OK.

0:45:260:45:29

-Did we know each other?

-Yeah.

0:45:290:45:32

Did we?!

0:45:320:45:33

LAUGHTER

0:45:330:45:34

I'm not wearing my glasses. Have a look. I'm not wearing my glasses.

0:45:340:45:39

What was it, James?

0:45:390:45:40

-Yes.

-James.

-Mee?

0:45:400:45:43

-That's the one!

-What the fuck?!

0:45:430:45:45

-You DO know him.

-He was my best mate growing up.

0:45:470:45:49

-You're kidding?

-My best mate growing up.

0:45:490:45:51

And now you're talking to him on a monitor.

0:45:510:45:54

I'm not wearing my specs and he's, like...

0:45:540:45:57

Can we not flip him and just get him out here and talk to him?

0:45:570:46:00

-Yeah, do you have a story?

-Yeah, I did, but it's up to you.

0:46:000:46:03

-Please let it be about Ed!

-It IS about Ed.

0:46:030:46:05

-OK, tell your story.

-OK, cool.

-Then, we'll flip you.

0:46:050:46:09

-I'm going to sit with you.

-Tell your story.

0:46:090:46:11

Yeah, cool, so, as Ed was saying...

0:46:110:46:13

-This is so random, mate.

-It's really weird.

0:46:130:46:16

When we were younger, Ed used to come round my house,

0:46:160:46:18

and, like you were saying, we used to be quite good mates.

0:46:180:46:21

-BEST mate.

-And I remember one time, one time you were coming

0:46:210:46:23

round for tea and I'd forgotten to tell Mum he was a vegetarian.

0:46:230:46:27

Um, at that point, anyway.

0:46:270:46:28

So, Mum cooked, I think it was sausages and mash for tea.

0:46:280:46:32

And Ed said, you know, after the meal, "These are the best sausages

0:46:320:46:35

"I've ever tasted, where did you get them from?"

0:46:350:46:37

And Mum had to lie, because she had no clue,

0:46:370:46:40

and so, yeah...

0:46:400:46:41

Do you know, that was the first time I ever had meat.

0:46:410:46:45

And also the first time I ever watched a Simpsons episode

0:46:450:46:48

-was round your house.

-Yeah. That's right.

0:46:480:46:50

Well done, well, we are going to flip you now

0:46:500:46:52

and then we can be reunited back stage.

0:46:520:46:54

-Put him on the couch!

-OK!

0:46:540:46:56

There he goes.

0:46:560:46:58

Bring him on, bring him on, he wants to meet him.

0:47:000:47:03

I feel like Cilla Black on Surprise, Surprise!

0:47:030:47:05

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING There he is.

0:47:070:47:10

Come on.

0:47:130:47:14

Were you just, were you just here randomly?

0:47:140:47:17

Have a seat, have a seat, have a seat, do.

0:47:170:47:19

LAUGHTER

0:47:200:47:22

-Sit down, sit down, sit down.

-Hello!

0:47:240:47:26

That's James. That's all we have time for.

0:47:280:47:30

They are reunited. It's beautiful.

0:47:300:47:32

Well done. If you would like to join us on the show

0:47:320:47:34

and have a go in the Red Chair, you can. The address is down there.

0:47:340:47:38

But that is it. Please, a huge thank you to my guests, Ed Sheeran

0:47:380:47:41

and his mate, James.

0:47:410:47:43

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:47:430:47:45

Josh Widdicombe! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:47:450:47:47

Christina Ricci! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:47:490:47:52

And Matthew McConaughey! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:47:520:47:55

Join me next week, with musical guest Izzy Bizu,

0:47:550:47:58

and a Trainspotting special. Actors Jonny Lee Miller, Ewen Bremner,

0:47:580:48:03

Robert Carlyle and Ewan McGregor,

0:48:030:48:05

plus Oscar-winning director Danny Boyle. It'll be a good one.

0:48:050:48:07

I'll see you then! Goodnight.

0:48:070:48:09

On Graham's sofa are Oscar-winning Hollywood star Matthew McConaughey, promoting new crime adventure Gold; actress Christina Ricci, starring as Zelda Fitzgerald in Z: The Beginning of Everything; comedian Josh Widdicombe; and singing star Ed Sheeran, who chats and performs Castle on the Hill.


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