Episode 11 The Graham Norton Show


Episode 11

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Transcript


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Good evening. I'm Mark Wahlberg, and this is The Graham Norton Show.

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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This programme contains some strong language.

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Hello! Hello! Oh, you are kind!

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You are kind! Thank you!

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Thanks! Oh! Thank you very much!

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Thank you! Good evening!

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CHEERING

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Good evening. Thank you! Thank you. That is lovely.

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You are very welcome.

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We have got a packed show for you tonight.

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So many guests! I mean, I just hope I have got enough seats.

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I feel like Theresa May.

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LAUGHTER

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I know!

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Yeah! A week on...

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A week on from the election and Theresa May, we hear,

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is staying on as Prime Minister. Now, she did say we needed

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a tough, uncompromising woman calling the shots at Number Ten.

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And I think we have got one.

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Yes, Arlene Foster, from the DUP.

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LAUGHTER

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Hiya!

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I have to say, I'm not sure this arrangement is such a good idea.

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Look what happened the last time someone from the Orange Order

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got into power.

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Yep.

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APPLAUSE

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Theresa May, she has been to France this week,

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to visit President Macron.

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While she was there, she went to the England-France football match.

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Now, the score was 3-2 to France, although when Jeremy Corbyn saw

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England had lost, he claimed it was a moral victory,

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and said, "If we played them again today, we'd win."

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Did you see Theresa joining in with the Mexican wave?

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Awww! LAUGHTER

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Poor Theresa!

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Clearly, she likes her Mexican waves like she likes her elections -

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embarrassing, misjudged, and really badly timed.

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Listen, we have got a big show tonight,

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so let's get some guests on!

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Later, we'll be joined by two of the stars of the new

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Planet of the Apes film, Andy Serkis and Woody Harrelson,

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ladies and gentlemen.

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CHEERING

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And...we will have music from a pop legend, Alison Moyet!

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One of my favourites.

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CHEERING

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She will be performing a song from her latest album.

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But first, this young British actor has landed the role of a lifetime,

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as the brand-new Peter Parker in Spider-Man: Homecoming.

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Please welcome Tom Holland!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Hello!

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Lovely to see you!

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There you are. There you are. Tom Holland!

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He's Spider-Man!

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Spider-Man, that's who that is.

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Now, this British actress has consistently worked in Hollywood

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in films like Foxcatcher and American Sniper.

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Now, she is coming back to the West End in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof -

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please welcome back Sienna Miller, everybody!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Lovely to see you.

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-Tom, Sienna.

-Hi!

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And he is the Hollywood star of Boogie Nights, The Departed,

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The Fighter and Ted. Now, he is back saving the world

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in Transformers: The Last Knight, it's always a pleasure

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to welcome back Mark Wahlberg!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Really good to see you. Come in and have a seat.

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Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

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Let's just do that for a while.

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So, it is a welcome back, and a welcome back to Mark and Sienna.

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Sienna, now, you have met Mark Wahlberg before?

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I've met Mark before, just around and about, yes.

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Didn't you meet him at the Golden Globes?

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Well, I haven't told you this story and he doesn't know it.

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-I did see...

-He might know it.

-I did see you at the Golden Globes,

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and I had had a baby six months before, and I was breast-feeding

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my child, and you very sweetly gave me a big hug.

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And you don't know, but I lactated on your suit!

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LAUGHTER

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You squeezed me and I got breast milk. It definitely went.

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-I'm sorry for discussing it.

-Do you remember that, Mark?

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No. I had no idea.

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But, you know, it's the Golden Globes, so anything can happen.

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They're lactating.

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You can bill me for the dry cleaning.

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-But Tom, new to Hollywood. This is all brand-new?

-Yeah.

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I've watched your show so much, I feel like I know you, Graham!

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But, no, this is surreal to me. This is a whole...

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-My life has flipped upside down in the last six weeks.

-It's fantastic.

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Cos, Mark, you had this when, you know,

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you made it big, you went to Hollywood, and I mean,

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it's been, kind of, documented in Entourage,

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but what advice would you have for Tom Holland?

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I'm the last person you should ask for advice.

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But you've never been to jail, have you?

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I have never been to jail, no.

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-Loser!

-It's a complete role reversal. I went to jail

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before I had a career, so he's going to go to jail at some point

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during your career. But don't take any advice from me.

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The first cheque I got, I ran to the Mercedes dealer,

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I bought a car, I didn't have money for registration or insurance.

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The police towed the vehicle,

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because I was driving without insurance, so you don't want

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any advice from me.

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LA is the move.

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Get a Jacuzzi. I just met all your brothers.

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Bring the boys to Cali, get a medical marijuana licence.

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So, at least you got an excuse, and have some fun, dude.

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-Oh, I will.

-Have some fun for me.

-I will!

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I'm 46 years old, I'm married, I got four kids,

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I get yelled at, and they tell me how much they hate me.

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They gave me a "Daddy, I love you, you're the best dad ever"

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Father's Day card, which was nice.

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-That's a beautiful thing. But go have some fun.

-Right, I will do.

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You're a young, good-looking guy.

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-That's terrible advice, but I hear you.

-I told you!

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Listen, to business. Mark Wahlberg, you bring us the new

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Transformers movie, Transformers: The Last Knight.

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WHOOPING

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Yeah! People are looking forward to it.

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It opens next Friday, June 23rd.

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Now, this time, so Optimus Prime is, sort of, out of the picture

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this time, so you team up with other humans, to try and save the world?

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-Yes.

-Discuss.

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Er...well...

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LAUGHTER

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Initially, you know, we kind of pick up after the second story.

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I have now gone on my own... my first story. I have gone on

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my own, I have left my daughter,

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so she could integrate back into society and have a normal life.

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And I am living out in the middle of the desert, and all of a sudden,

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I am tracked down by Sir Anthony Hopkins' character, who brings me

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to London. A great fish-out-of-water story.

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Connects me with this professor from Oxford, played by Laura Haddock,

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who is fantastic. And then, we are basically trying to figure out

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how the relationship with the robots and the humans started.

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So, it's a bit of an origins story. There is a lot of mythology.

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And then, chaos ensues. But this is the last one.

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This is the last Transformers.

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Michael Bay has vowed that this is it.

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-Transformed.

-Yeah, so I get my life back, too.

-OK, cool.

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We have got a clip, where Anthony Hopkins is introducing you to

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-Laura Haddock's character.

-Cool.

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-Hmm.

-Wow.

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What's up?

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-Does he have to loom like that?

-Bonjour, Cherie.

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It's a nice ride. You can ride the hembellas on that thing.

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OK, you, American man, shut it.

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What am I doing here?

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-Yeah, why is she here?

-Introductions.

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This is Vivian Wembley, Master of History at Oxford,

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Doctor of Philosophy, also at Oxford,

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and Doctor of Letters, again Oxford, I think. Anything else?

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Anyway, meet Cade.

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Yeager. Cade Yeager. I'm an inventor.

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-Oh, you're an inventor?

-Yes, I am.

-What have you invented?

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-A lot of things.

-Like?

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Like, a lot of things. Like, things that you've heard of.

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-Like?

-Well, things that you WILL HAVE heard of, OK?

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Patents are pending.

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Ah.

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"Ah"?

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What's "Ah"? You know, I could do that, too.

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"Oh, I'm English and I'm too cool for feelings."

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What, now I've come here to be insulted by some

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over-educated, ivory tower princess?

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APPLAUSE

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-For a British audience, lots of this film is set here.

-Yes.

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-Yeah.

-I learned a lot about England. I just learned who that woman was

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that you made a joke about, the Prime Minister.

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"Who is that?"

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Yeah, well, you may not have to remember her name for long,

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but there you go.

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I wouldn't hold on to it tightly.

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But now, the Stonehenge in the film, Did you really film in Stonehenge?

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Yeah, but we built another Stonehenge right down the street.

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Was it better?

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Well, it was the same thing. They were so precious about it.

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We were just blowing it up, but it's like, "What happened there?

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"What's the big deal?

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"Somebody laid a rock on top of a rock.

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"Is that how Anthony got his knighthood?"

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I want my knighthood.

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Should be able to, right?

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But you did film around the real one, as well?

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-Yeah.

-Which is incredible, that they gave you access.

-Why?

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I know you are not impressed. "They should open a McDonald's.

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-"Why is it so special?"

-Yeah, I can build one of these in my back yard.

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What happened there?

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We were all like... But really, it's devastated you.

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-We are proud of stuff.

-But the thing is,

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the reason we are not allowed in is we don't know what happened there.

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They don't know how they got the stones... It's so English.

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They somehow got those really heavy stones there.

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From Italy or something.

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How did they build... How did the Egyptians build the pyramids?

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-That is more impressive.

-It's our English version of a pyramid.

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At least when you go in there, there are things...

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You could bury people there.

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You could do a lot of things with the tombs. But what do you do there?

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Can I just say, you're in our country. You are a guest!

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-You will like our half-built thing!

-I want to bring jobs to England.

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I want to bring restaurants. Wahlburgers. All these things.

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Wahlburgers?

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-But what are the stones about, seriously?

-We don't know!

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That's what makes them so great.

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How did they get there?

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How did they get there is part of it. And it's a pagan worship thing.

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-Druids.

-A lot of people carried them and stood them up, and...

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Thank you, Dr Wahlberg(!)

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-Build them for shade. I mean...

-No!

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They were aligned with the sun, and the calendar of the Druids.

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Stop now, Sienna. Quickly. Stop now.

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Ley lines.

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-So...

-But with this film, becoming part of the Transformers family,

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I think you assumed would give you some cred with your kids,

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but you were, sort of, upstaged at the time.

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This was the first Transformers you did.

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Well, they just had no interest.

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They wanted to see the movie, but there was other things

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they wanted to be doing. They wanted to do anything else

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other that watching me work.

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I asked Michael, and Michael was really excited

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about putting them in the movie,

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and they were just not into it at all.

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They were like, "No."

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Everybody is here, the crew is waiting and have set up this big

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elaborate shot, to make sure that this was going to be a shot

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that is in the movie. Now, you only saw one of my kids in the movie,

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and now the other kids are upset. They think it's my fault,

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like I purposely had them cut out, because they didn't do exactly what

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I wanted, which was not the case.

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But it's a no-win situation, so you should know that.

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Now, one of your....

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One of yours has just started dating, is this right?

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HE SIGHS

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That poor kid. That poor kid!

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-So, the kid...

-The boyfriend?

-Yeah!

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She had one that was not a nice boy.

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It was innocent enough, but I was like,

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"So, this kid, I want to meet this kid. OK, I want to meet him.

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"You want to hang out with him, I want to meet him,

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"and then you can hang out with him in a safe environment."

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She's like, "What's a safe environment, Dad?"

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Everything was the attitude. All of a sudden, this kid comes over,

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and he one-ups me. He brings his mom.

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LAUGHTER

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That is genius!

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TALK OVER EACH OTHER

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The genius thing is he is so sweet,

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and she is like steam-rolling me all the time.

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Like, he is seeing her being rude to me, being mean to me.

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Like, "If you're not nice to him,

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"he might not want to be hanging around with you."

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And this is a keeper. This dude is really nice.

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He is cool, he went to the graduation -

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she just graduated last week, he went to the graduation with us.

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He is, like, really sweet. I'm like, OK, well the perfect scenario

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is to find one boy who she is with forever.

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He'll treat her like a princess.

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But I don't know if she could hold him down!

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But he did one-up me. I was ready. I had a couple of my buddies there.

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All of a sudden, him and his mom come in, they are like,

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"Hey!

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"So, what do you do at school?

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"Do you have any extra-curricular activities?"

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He was like, completely just...

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slapped me.

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Cos it's rare in America, but one of your daughters

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goes to an all-girls' school.

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-She is now going to an all-girls' Catholic school.

-Was this your idea?

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It was my preference.

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But I won that one. I kind of manipulated her.

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She got into both schools that she applied,

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but she ultimately made the choice.

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-OK.

-And she made the right one.

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I don't mean to undermine your confidence in that system,

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but Sienna Miller, you went to an all-girls' school, didn't you?

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Yeah, my whole life.

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Yeah, what goes on, Sienna?

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You know, there is an argument...

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I'm not the right person to ask.

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Oh, you are! Absolutely!

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I mean, naked steaking across the lacrosse pitch,

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kissing the gardener, lots of fags, booze.

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You know, repression, cos you are kept in an environment,

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and then you're let out on weekends, and a boy is an exciting thing,

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cos you don't see them every day. But it's OK.

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Where did you go?

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I went to an all-girls' boarding school from eight.

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But, Tom, you did the proper British thing.

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-You went to an all-boys' school, is that right?

-Yes, I did, yeah.

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-Were you well-behaved?

-No, absolutely not.

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But oddly, for Spider-Man, they sent you back to school.

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Well, it was a joke.

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They don't obviously understand my British sarcasm. I said,

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"Wouldn't it be funny if I went to an American high school undercover,

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"to see what it would be like to be an American high-schooler?"

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Marvel were like, "That's amazing! Let's set it up."

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So, six weeks later, I'm with a backpack,

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pencil case, books, on my way to the school,

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the Bronx School of Science, which is a school for genius kids,

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and believe me, everyone, I am no genius!

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Yeah, so I enrolled in a high school for three days.

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I had an accent, a fake name, a back story.

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What was your fake name?

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-Ben Perkins, who is my acting coach from when I was a kid.

-OK.

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They paired me with a kid called Aroon, and I was supposed to be

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his brother, or something like that, and Aroon is an Indian kid,

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and when I came in, everyone was like...

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"He's really your brother?"

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We're like, "Yeah, we're just distant brothers from...

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"Whoo! Anyway, moving on..."

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And this is a science school. They can figure things out.

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"We know how that works. That doesn't work."

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But didn't you... But then you did... Did you confide in people?

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Oh, yeah.

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So, I was sitting next to this very pretty girl in class, and you have

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to go through an exam process to get into this school,

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which obviously, I didn't do.

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And she was like, "Hey, man, what's your deal?

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"How are you here?"

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I was like, "Let me tell you my secret.

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-"I am actually...

-Undercover.

-"I am actually Spider-Man."

0:15:120:15:14

She's like, "Dude, you're fucking nuts, bro! Whatever!"

0:15:140:15:18

I was like, "No, seriously, I'm Spider-Man."

0:15:180:15:20

Obviously, none of my movies had come out. No-one knew about it.

0:15:200:15:23

It was a big secret, so I just looked like some nutter

0:15:230:15:25

that showed up for three days, and then disappeared.

0:15:250:15:28

Yes, she's laughing now.

0:15:280:15:30

She's like, "I had him right there in the palm of my hand!"

0:15:300:15:33

Right, let's talk about it.

0:15:330:15:35

Tom's much-anticipated return as Spider-Man

0:15:350:15:37

in Spider-Man: Homecoming.

0:15:370:15:39

It opens July the 5th, and I say return,

0:15:390:15:41

cos obviously this film, sort of, picks up

0:15:410:15:43

where Captain America: Civil War stops.

0:15:430:15:45

Yes. It is interesting because you get to see, sort of,

0:15:450:15:49

Peter Parker and Spider-Man on summer camp. He is hanging out

0:15:490:15:52

with The Avengers, he is having the time of his life.

0:15:520:15:54

He gets to be a part of this amazing fight scene,

0:15:540:15:56

and then it cuts to him back at school on a cramped subway,

0:15:560:15:59

miserable, wishing that he could be with the Avengers,

0:15:590:16:01

travelling the world.

0:16:010:16:02

So, it's a nice, sort of, setback to what we saw in Civil War.

0:16:020:16:06

And this is...

0:16:060:16:07

It's, kind of, it goes, sort of, back to the comic books more,

0:16:070:16:11

doesn't it, cos he is a proper high school student?

0:16:110:16:13

Yeah, it really is the story of a kid. I genuinely think

0:16:130:16:16

if you gave a 15-year-old superpowers, he would have

0:16:160:16:19

the time of his life. So, the movie is all about, sort of,

0:16:190:16:21

him enjoying himself, juggling, talking to girls, struggling with

0:16:210:16:25

his homework, but also being a superhero, at the same time.

0:16:250:16:28

All right, we'll talk about it more, but let's see a clip.

0:16:280:16:30

This is one of your best friends in the film discovering that you are,

0:16:300:16:33

-in fact, Spider-Man.

-Yes.

0:16:330:16:35

HE SIGHS

0:16:580:16:59

CRASHING

0:17:060:17:08

What's up?!

0:17:080:17:09

Er, nothing! Nothing!

0:17:090:17:12

You're the Spider-Man...

0:17:120:17:14

-from YouTube.

-I'm not.

0:17:140:17:16

You were on the ceiling!

0:17:160:17:17

-I wasn't! What are you doing in my room?!

-Your Aunt May let me in.

0:17:170:17:19

You said we were going to finish the Death Star. She doesn't know?!

0:17:190:17:22

Nobody knows! Well, Mr Stark knows, cos he made my suit, but that's it,

0:17:220:17:25

Tony Stark made you that?! Are you an Avenger?

0:17:250:17:29

Yeah, basically.

0:17:290:17:30

Oh!

0:17:300:17:31

You can't tell anybody about this. You got to keep it a secret.

0:17:310:17:34

-A secret? Why?

-Because you know what she's like. If she finds out people

0:17:340:17:37

are trying to kill me every night, she won't let me do this any more!

0:17:370:17:40

OK. OK, OK, OK. I'll level with you.

0:17:400:17:42

I don't think I can keep this secret.

0:17:420:17:44

It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me!

0:17:440:17:46

I can't believe this is happening right now.

0:17:460:17:48

APPLAUSE

0:17:480:17:50

Tom, obviously, being SpiderMan, you have got to be in amazing shape,

0:17:540:17:57

but they did really weird things to you. What is the electric thing?

0:17:570:18:01

Have you ever heard of this? EMS training?

0:18:010:18:03

It's like you wear this black suit, and they put these pads on you,

0:18:030:18:07

and you basically do, like a yoga class while they electrocute you.

0:18:070:18:11

-And it's...

-For muscle stimulation?

-Yeah, muscle stimulation,

0:18:110:18:14

but you work out while you use it. I basically cheated.

0:18:140:18:18

But I did it with my best friend, and every time the trainer

0:18:180:18:21

would go to the bathroom, one of us would crank up the machine

0:18:210:18:25

that my friend was using, and you can't... You genuinely can't move.

0:18:250:18:28

It makes every part of your body shake.

0:18:280:18:31

It's awful. It's a lot of fun, and it works,

0:18:310:18:33

but it really is the worst thing I have ever done.

0:18:330:18:36

-I've never heard of that!

-Yeah.

-Have you?

0:18:360:18:38

No, but I saw a commercial today on TV here with Cristiano Ronaldo,

0:18:380:18:42

who is probably one of the most physical specimens on the planet,

0:18:420:18:46

with this abs machine, this biceps machine,

0:18:460:18:48

standing there in his underwear, shaking, with his eyes closed.

0:18:480:18:50

I don't think that's how he got in shape.

0:18:500:18:53

Somebody sitting there on their couch, stuffing their face,

0:18:550:18:59

having a pint is going to be, like,

0:18:590:19:00

"Oh, yeah, well, now I've figured it out. I can just buy one of those."

0:19:000:19:03

Not happening.

0:19:030:19:04

Sienna, the only film we could think of

0:19:040:19:06

-where you might have had to do this was GI Joe.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:19:060:19:09

Did you have to do all this stuff to get ready for that?

0:19:090:19:12

They cast me in that film without meeting me,

0:19:120:19:14

and it might have been in error, because I played the villain,

0:19:140:19:17

and there's nothing that threatening physically about me,

0:19:170:19:20

or active, particularly. But I...

0:19:200:19:22

Really? You sprayed me with breast milk.

0:19:220:19:25

LAUGHTER

0:19:250:19:27

Stand back!

0:19:270:19:29

APPLAUSE

0:19:320:19:34

No, I did some fight training, and tried my best,

0:19:350:19:39

but I was not cut out for violence.

0:19:390:19:42

I had to shoot a gun, and I couldn't do it without blinking every time.

0:19:420:19:47

And I'm the baddie, so this is not cool.

0:19:470:19:50

So, they had to give me glasses, so that every time I was about

0:19:500:19:52

to shoot a gun, I touched the side and they turned to sunglasses.

0:19:520:19:56

I must have been awful. I think I'd be better at it now.

0:19:580:20:01

I had a nightmare on Spider-Man, I'd always go, "Pss!"

0:20:010:20:03

-I couldn't do that without going...

-Making the noise?

0:20:030:20:06

And the poor sound guy. I do ten webs every scene.

0:20:060:20:09

The poor sound guy's like,

0:20:090:20:10

"This fucking kid won't stop that, pss, pss, pss!"

0:20:100:20:13

I did that with an electric gun. Every time, I'd just go, "Bang."

0:20:130:20:16

They're like, "Dude, you're saying bang."

0:20:160:20:18

Cos it's not firing, and the gun just goes, "Pfft."

0:20:180:20:20

Like a little fart.

0:20:200:20:22

I'm like, "Dude, at least give me some real blanks."

0:20:220:20:24

Ladies and gentlemen - culture alert!

0:20:260:20:28

We're heading to the stage for Sienna Miller's upcoming West End

0:20:280:20:31

performance as Maggie in Tennessee Williams' Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

0:20:310:20:34

It opens July 24th with previews from the 13th.

0:20:340:20:37

It's at the Apollo Theatre.

0:20:370:20:39

This is a great cast, it's a great play,

0:20:390:20:43

but it sounds like you've kind of knocked the play about a bit.

0:20:430:20:47

Yeah. I mean, it's the original version,

0:20:470:20:49

Tennessee Williams' original version,

0:20:490:20:51

but we are modernising it.

0:20:510:20:53

And our director, Benedict Andrews, is really an auteur,

0:20:530:20:56

and it's not the traditional... We're not sort of flying around

0:20:560:21:00

with southern accents and hoop skirts. It's...

0:21:000:21:04

There is a bit of nudity, and things like that.

0:21:040:21:07

-Woohoo! Tickets will be selling!

-Yeah!

0:21:070:21:08

The box office has started ringing already!

0:21:080:21:10

I think it's just going to be a more...

0:21:100:21:12

It's all about what it is to be human, and it's quite a...

0:21:120:21:15

Well, she is definitely sort of a sexually starved character,

0:21:150:21:18

and this is quite a raw version.

0:21:180:21:20

Where are you now? Have you started rehearsing already?

0:21:200:21:22

We are day nine of rehearsals.

0:21:220:21:24

In fact, about an hour ago,

0:21:240:21:25

I was crawling around on the floor about five minutes away,

0:21:250:21:27

being hit with a crutch.

0:21:270:21:29

Not a crotch, a crutch.

0:21:290:21:31

LAUGHTER

0:21:310:21:33

-By Jack O'Connell swinging a crutch at my head.

-Nice.

0:21:330:21:36

So I'm a bit delirious. Yeah.

0:21:360:21:37

But it's still set in the Deep South?

0:21:370:21:39

It's set in the Deep South, yes.

0:21:390:21:40

And if people aren't familiar with the whole story - in a nutshell?

0:21:400:21:44

It's about...

0:21:440:21:45

This woman, Maggie, is very in love with her husband, Brick,

0:21:450:21:49

who is Jack O'Connell, and he will not sleep with her.

0:21:490:21:52

And his father is dying of cancer,

0:21:520:21:54

and everything sort of implodes on this one night,

0:21:540:21:56

and she's this desperate, longing, yearning woman,

0:21:560:22:00

and he is an alcoholic, and the dad's dying.

0:22:000:22:04

And it's really funny(!)

0:22:040:22:05

LAUGHTER

0:22:050:22:08

But it is a big Gothic thing.

0:22:080:22:10

I don't know how to condense Tennessee Williams,

0:22:100:22:12

because he's a genius, but it's really like a beautiful, magical...

0:22:120:22:15

Everything comes to a head on this one night, and we'll be like...

0:22:150:22:18

-SOUTHERN ACCENT:

-Talking like that, and you know, fights and...

0:22:180:22:22

-It'll be good.

-And this is kind of where you started, Tom,

0:22:220:22:24

because Billy Elliot - that was kind of your first thing.

0:22:240:22:27

-Oh, yeah!

-Yeah. That's where I started. Yeah.

0:22:270:22:30

Give us a twirl! Challenge, challenge!

0:22:300:22:32

-What do you want?

-A twirl, or something. A leap.

-A twirl.

0:22:320:22:35

Oh, my God, you said you...

0:22:350:22:37

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:370:22:39

-Beautiful, beautiful.

-But not a twirl.

-Still as good.

0:22:390:22:41

I couldn't do it.

0:22:410:22:42

Because Billy Elliot, were you in...

0:22:440:22:46

Cos they put you in some sort of school, is that right?

0:22:460:22:48

Billy Elliot School?

0:22:480:22:49

Yes, yeah. There's old baby me.

0:22:490:22:51

Yeah, we went to the Billy School, which was very much like

0:22:530:22:55

your boarding school, a place where terrible things happened.

0:22:550:22:59

But... No, it was a lot of fun, and a really cool time for me, yeah.

0:22:590:23:02

Mark Wahlberg, have you ever been in a play?

0:23:020:23:05

Yes.

0:23:050:23:06

"Yes, my Lord!"

0:23:060:23:07

Don't doubt my theatre background, darling.

0:23:070:23:10

Royal Shakespearean Academy, as well.

0:23:100:23:12

I played an Oompa Loompa.

0:23:120:23:14

LAUGHTER

0:23:140:23:16

In fourth grade. William Monroe Trotter, Roxbury, Massachusetts,

0:23:160:23:19

-and it was lovely.

-It was wicked hot!

0:23:190:23:21

I had a whole speech. It was lovely.

0:23:210:23:23

-Is that the only theatre you've ever done?

-Yes.

0:23:230:23:26

You've never been tempted?

0:23:260:23:27

No. What I've heard, the level of commitment,

0:23:270:23:31

eight shows a week, and that sort of thing -

0:23:310:23:34

-no, it's not for me.

-I know!

0:23:340:23:36

Now, tomorrow, are you back in rehearsal tomorrow morning?

0:23:360:23:38

I'm back in rehearsal. I have to say something -

0:23:380:23:40

I got an Uber to work the other day,

0:23:400:23:42

and I normally get the Tube, but I got an Uber, and I got in the car

0:23:420:23:45

with this driver, and I said, how long till we get there?

0:23:450:23:47

He was really nice, he was like...

0:23:470:23:49

-SOUTHERN ACCENT:

-"About 30 minutes."

0:23:490:23:50

I was like, why are you talking like that?

0:23:500:23:52

And he went, "I don't know why." I was like,

0:23:520:23:54

"You're literally doing the accent of the play I'm rehearsing now."

0:23:540:23:57

He's like, "That is so weird, I think I'm psychic."

0:23:570:23:59

Anyway, we got chatting. He's there!

0:23:590:24:01

-Where is he?

-There he is. Yay!

0:24:020:24:05

APPLAUSE

0:24:050:24:06

How funny.

0:24:090:24:11

We started talking, and he was like,

0:24:110:24:13

"Graham Norton, I thought was so lovely last week,

0:24:130:24:15

and I love that show"

0:24:150:24:16

and I said, "I'm doing it, shall I see if I can get you in?"

0:24:160:24:18

-and he's come!

-And here he is! Aw! Very good.

0:24:180:24:21

All right! It's time to meet my next guests.

0:24:210:24:23

One is the master of motion capture

0:24:230:24:25

who brought to life Gollum and King Kong.

0:24:250:24:27

The other is the award-winning star of Cheers, White Men Can't Jump,

0:24:270:24:31

True Detective, and Natural Born Killers -

0:24:310:24:33

please welcome Andy Serkis and Woody Harrelson.

0:24:330:24:36

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:360:24:40

There they are! Hello!

0:24:400:24:42

Nice to see you. Really good to see you. Hi!

0:24:440:24:47

Great to see you again. Hi.

0:24:470:24:49

Come in, come in, come in. Have a seat.

0:24:490:24:51

Have a seat.

0:24:510:24:53

Greeting, greeting, greeting, greeting.

0:25:010:25:04

-How are you?

-Good, thanks.

0:25:040:25:05

-Hello, sir.

-There we go.

-Nice to meet you, man.

0:25:050:25:08

Look, that's very nice. Have a seat, too. All very welcome.

0:25:080:25:11

Now, Woody, you spend a lot of time in London now.

0:25:110:25:13

-You're filming here right now.

-Yeah, I feel like an expat.

0:25:130:25:16

I'm living here, yeah. I love it.

0:25:160:25:19

Because you're filming the new Han Solo film?

0:25:190:25:21

Yeah, a little indie, Han Solo.

0:25:210:25:23

-Yeah.

-There you are.

0:25:230:25:25

Andy, is that you?

0:25:250:25:27

LAUGHTER

0:25:270:25:29

You must have been furious.

0:25:290:25:30

If it was him, there'd be a bunch of dots.

0:25:300:25:32

Hey, listen. The apes are back. This time it's war.

0:25:340:25:37

War for the Planet of the Apes opens July the 11th.

0:25:370:25:40

Now, Andy, obviously, you're back in the role of Caesar,

0:25:400:25:43

-so there's you.

-Yes.

0:25:430:25:45

And then... Ba-doom! It's Caesar.

0:25:450:25:48

How do they do that?!

0:25:480:25:50

-It is...

-Incredible.

0:25:500:25:51

I sort of know how they do it, but I don't know how they do it.

0:25:510:25:53

It is phenomenal.

0:25:530:25:54

I just watched it before coming here, and it is...

0:25:540:25:57

It's amazing.

0:25:570:25:59

LAUGHTER

0:25:590:26:01

It is! I'm not saying that in a self-congratulatory manner.

0:26:010:26:04

I'm the least thing in it, but I got to say...

0:26:040:26:07

-That is sort of true.

-Yeah, thanks. I said that hoping you'd say...

0:26:070:26:11

But I got to say, it came together so...

0:26:110:26:14

Matt Reeves, the director, he's just a master

0:26:140:26:17

at this kind of, bringing all that motion capture to life,

0:26:170:26:22

but his performance is astonishing.

0:26:220:26:24

And you are new to this world.

0:26:240:26:26

So, who are you in the Planet of the Apes?

0:26:260:26:28

I play the Colonel.

0:26:280:26:30

Apparently I'm the enemy to Caesar.

0:26:300:26:33

Well... Yeah.

0:26:330:26:35

LAUGHTER

0:26:350:26:37

Yeah.

0:26:370:26:38

It's quite... Humans don't come out of this well, in this version.

0:26:380:26:41

-No.

-Well, nobody comes out of it well. I mean, it's a war, you know?

0:26:410:26:45

So, both apes and humans are toe to toe, and having a bad time of it.

0:26:450:26:50

Basically, in this story, it's moved on from...

0:26:500:26:54

I don't know if people saw the last one, Dawn, or in fact

0:26:540:26:56

the first one, Rise, but it's got to a point where...

0:26:560:27:00

..the start of the whole saga is a virus

0:27:010:27:04

which was created through an Alzheimer's drug gone wrong,

0:27:040:27:07

and then an ape called Caesar

0:27:070:27:08

becomes enhanced by this intelligence-enhancing drug,

0:27:080:27:11

and he's brought up with human beings.

0:27:110:27:13

He's then thrown into a facility at a teen age, if you like,

0:27:130:27:16

in the other films, and then he leads them to freedom,

0:27:160:27:18

and then a virus breaks out,

0:27:180:27:21

and in this one it turns to all-out war between apes and humans,

0:27:210:27:25

so, yeah, it's bleak.

0:27:250:27:27

It's a bleak start to the film,

0:27:270:27:28

but there's a lot of heart, a lot of emotion.

0:27:280:27:30

Listen, we've got a clip. This is the moment

0:27:300:27:32

when Caesar gets captured, and you guys meet.

0:27:320:27:36

Have you finally come to save your apes?

0:27:380:27:41

I came for you.

0:27:420:27:44

For me?

0:27:440:27:45

My God.

0:28:040:28:06

Look at your eyes.

0:28:070:28:08

Almost human.

0:28:090:28:11

How did you know I was here?

0:28:120:28:14

I was told you were coming...

0:28:140:28:16

..and that more soldiers from the north would be joining you here.

0:28:180:28:23

-Joining me?

-To finish us off...

0:28:230:28:25

..for good.

0:28:270:28:28

Who told you that?

0:28:310:28:32

OK...

0:28:400:28:41

..let's go.

0:28:440:28:45

Ooh! APPLAUSE

0:28:480:28:50

But the two of you... It sounds like you properly got on.

0:28:550:28:57

Wasn't there... You had a night out in Vancouver, was it,

0:28:570:29:00

the two of you bonded over?

0:29:000:29:01

-We had a number of nights.

-It was really a night in.

0:29:010:29:03

It was a night in, actually.

0:29:030:29:05

We hung over at my house, we had a couple of bottles of wine.

0:29:050:29:08

I won't get into the details!

0:29:080:29:09

Funny, I think the last time you were on a show with me,

0:29:110:29:15

you did tell us about a mad night you had in London,

0:29:150:29:19

and you've now turned it into a film.

0:29:190:29:21

Yeah.

0:29:210:29:23

But again, a mad film.

0:29:230:29:25

Yeah, a mad film.

0:29:250:29:26

It's called Lost in London,

0:29:260:29:28

and I had this night, this terrible, terrible night,

0:29:280:29:32

started with just my wife and I on the verge of breaking up,

0:29:320:29:35

and ended with me in jail.

0:29:350:29:38

LAUGHTER

0:29:380:29:40

Yeah. And...

0:29:400:29:41

And this all happened?

0:29:410:29:42

-This all happened.

-Yeah.

0:29:420:29:44

I hated it and wanted to forget about it, but then I kept thinking,

0:29:440:29:48

you know, this could be funny!

0:29:480:29:49

And Owen Wilson's in it, and Willie Nelson,

0:29:510:29:54

and we shot it in real time, in 99 minutes.

0:29:540:29:58

We shot it single-camera, and live-streamed it as we shot it,

0:29:580:30:03

into theatres in the United States,

0:30:030:30:05

and into three Picture House theatres here.

0:30:050:30:08

So it's one take?

0:30:080:30:10

It's one take. Yeah.

0:30:100:30:12

That's phenomenal!

0:30:120:30:14

Yeah, it turned out great,

0:30:140:30:15

and that's showing at the Picture House Central...!

0:30:150:30:19

Friday and Saturday late-night!

0:30:200:30:23

And did anything go wrong? Cos you could only do it once.

0:30:230:30:26

Yeah. There were sound issues, and just the live feed issues,

0:30:260:30:32

and then on the night,

0:30:320:30:34

there was this bomb, this World War II unexploded ordnance

0:30:340:30:38

that they discovered near the Waterloo Bridge,

0:30:380:30:40

which was a key area, so they shut down the bridge,

0:30:400:30:43

and I'm like, I've never been a fan of Hitler but this is personal!

0:30:430:30:47

It was weird. That was very strange.

0:30:490:30:51

It opened up just a few minutes before we needed it.

0:30:510:30:57

And Andy, you've got another movie.

0:30:570:30:59

Have you finished Jungle Book now, the motion capture version of it?

0:30:590:31:02

No. We're still in the process of making it,

0:31:020:31:05

and it comes out next year.

0:31:050:31:07

So it's, yeah, an amazing cast, and there's a beautiful

0:31:070:31:09

central performance by the young actor playing Mowgli.

0:31:090:31:12

It's a much darker version than the Disney one

0:31:120:31:14

that came out last year. It's a PG-13, but yeah, it's really...

0:31:140:31:19

And that's all performance capture, so all the actors -

0:31:190:31:21

Christian Bale's playing Bagheera,

0:31:210:31:23

and Benedict Cumberbatch is playing Shere Khan, the tiger,

0:31:230:31:26

and Cate Blanchett is playing Kaa, the snake.

0:31:260:31:29

They're all there doing the same kind of thing as you've just seen.

0:31:290:31:32

Are we allowed to mention that you were...?

0:31:320:31:35

-About my audition?

-Yeah.

0:31:350:31:37

-SIENNA:

-Oh, no!

-It was... Often...

0:31:370:31:39

We do strange things for auditions, but I think your audition might be

0:31:390:31:42

the strangest thing I've ever been asked.

0:31:420:31:44

I prepared my lines, prepared my scene, I went in, I did the scene...

0:31:440:31:48

He was brilliant.

0:31:480:31:49

And you said, "Thank you, that was great. Now do it as a wolf."

0:31:490:31:52

And I'm like...

0:31:520:31:54

"OK..."

0:31:540:31:55

So all I did was this.

0:31:550:31:56

I like your style.

0:31:590:32:01

But no, it was a wonderful experience,

0:32:010:32:03

it was lovely meeting you, and I saw some of the concept art

0:32:030:32:06

from the movie, and it looks incredible. I can't wait for it.

0:32:060:32:09

-Me too.

-Oddly, Mark,

0:32:090:32:11

you were in Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes back in 2001,

0:32:110:32:15

but there was no motion capture in that, was it?

0:32:150:32:18

No. God, I'd never seen Tim Roth so upset

0:32:180:32:21

after sitting in make-up for five hours,

0:32:210:32:23

and I just stroll in and say, "Hey, what's going on, guys?"

0:32:230:32:26

Put my little astronaut suit on, but...

0:32:260:32:29

it was an amazing experience working with Tim.

0:32:290:32:32

I think we kind of set the franchise back a little bit.

0:32:320:32:35

You and Rupert kind of revived it again, which was great,

0:32:350:32:37

cos it was obviously a big intellectual property.

0:32:370:32:40

-But you used real...

-Make-up, yes.

-No, but real monkeys.

0:32:400:32:43

-Real people.

-Monkeys and apes.

-The monkeys? No, they were the worst.

0:32:430:32:46

They would attack you, because they...

0:32:460:32:47

Helena and I, Helena Bonham Carter and I, had this relationship,

0:32:470:32:50

so I had to work with the monkeys as the astronaut,

0:32:500:32:52

so they wanted us to get acclimatised with the chimps,

0:32:520:32:55

and any time I would go near her, the chimps would start attacking me

0:32:550:32:58

and start trying to punch me in the nuts, like...

0:32:580:33:02

Like my five-year-old son, really bad. Not stopping.

0:33:020:33:04

I'd go, "OK, stop now, stop playing around, we've got to work."

0:33:040:33:07

And the chimps were constantly trying to attack me.

0:33:070:33:10

Because you had a sort of similar experience, Andy,

0:33:100:33:12

at the zoo, didn't you?

0:33:120:33:14

That was on King Kong, yeah.

0:33:140:33:16

I had a sort of long-standing affair with a gorilla called Zaire

0:33:160:33:19

about ten years ago. She was a lovely, lovely gorilla. And...

0:33:190:33:24

LAUGHTER

0:33:240:33:26

And we hung out for a couple of months. I was observing her,

0:33:270:33:30

and we played games and sort of, you know, with each other,

0:33:300:33:33

and it was all rather lovely. And then...

0:33:330:33:36

-about two months later...

-That's how it starts!

-Well, yeah.

0:33:360:33:39

We still text!

0:33:390:33:41

But Lorraine, my wife, came down to visit us.

0:33:420:33:45

I said, "You've got to come down and meet Zaire."

0:33:450:33:47

And when she came down,

0:33:470:33:48

literally, Zaire got this bottle of water

0:33:480:33:50

which has minerals in and vitamins in, and she just went...

0:33:500:33:53

like that and squirted it right in Lorraine's face.

0:33:530:33:56

-That's what she did to me!

-Yeah!

0:33:560:33:58

It's like a mating call.

0:34:010:34:03

APPLAUSE

0:34:030:34:05

But they do. They get so protective.

0:34:050:34:07

-They really do.

-And territorial.

0:34:070:34:08

Oh, you're talking about monkeys again? OK!

0:34:080:34:10

The other thing chimpanzees do,

0:34:120:34:14

of course, is a thing called pant-hooting, which is...

0:34:140:34:16

HE HOOTS

0:34:160:34:19

HE PANTS

0:34:210:34:24

APPLAUSE

0:34:240:34:26

When do chimps do that?

0:34:320:34:33

When they're very excited.

0:34:350:34:36

Is that a happy thing, or a sad thing?

0:34:380:34:40

It's a kind of territorial thing.

0:34:400:34:43

And it's quite scary. It's defending territory.

0:34:430:34:46

-OK.

-I feel like I've heard that sound, yeah.

0:34:460:34:49

LAUGHTER

0:34:490:34:52

I'm sure you have, Sienna!

0:34:550:34:57

What are you talking about? Yeah.

0:34:590:35:01

Well, look, the thing is, it is a sofa of actors, so, Andy...

0:35:010:35:05

Andy, are there any...I wouldn't say tricks, but are there any short-cuts

0:35:050:35:09

into playing a great ape?

0:35:090:35:12

A great ape. Well...

0:35:120:35:14

Well, quadrupedding is a large part of it, OK,

0:35:140:35:18

so quadrupedding is walking on all fours,

0:35:180:35:21

and I happen to have with me some...

0:35:210:35:24

Some arm extensions, which we could all have a go with.

0:35:240:35:27

-Oh, right!

-And these, in fact, are how we quadruped.

0:35:270:35:30

So we can all have a go, and I think we should.

0:35:300:35:32

-Would you like to have a go?

-No. Not yet.

0:35:320:35:35

LAUGHTER

0:35:350:35:37

Let me just show you.

0:35:370:35:38

Look, and it has motion capture dots on it already. So we can shoot.

0:35:380:35:42

So anyway, let me just...

0:35:420:35:44

Is this a good place to stand?

0:35:440:35:46

-Yeah, or...

-This is wicked!

0:35:460:35:48

-Wherever you want to go.

-OK.

0:35:480:35:50

So, first of all, if you're going to get into being an ape,

0:35:500:35:53

like if you're a silverback gorilla,

0:35:530:35:55

-then you tend to have your backside sticking out.

-Wow!

0:35:550:35:57

If you're a chimpanzee, then you're tucked in like this.

0:35:570:36:00

-So you can choose between a gorilla or a chimpanzee.

-Yes.

0:36:000:36:02

-Whichever you'd like.

-Options, I love options.

0:36:020:36:05

-And then you start to walk...

-Oh, look at that!

-Whoa!

-Like that.

0:36:050:36:08

APPLAUSE

0:36:080:36:10

And then... Then you can learn to kind of accelerate.

0:36:110:36:15

And we're all going to do this, so...

0:36:150:36:17

So then you can learn to accelerate.

0:36:170:36:20

I've got very slippery shoes on, but...

0:36:200:36:23

-like that. So...

-Whoa!

0:36:230:36:24

That's very impressive.

0:36:240:36:26

Get Tom. Tom's young. Go on, Tom.

0:36:260:36:29

APPLAUSE

0:36:290:36:32

-A fellow method actor.

-This is for a role in the next film.

0:36:320:36:35

You're welcome, guys.

0:36:350:36:37

You're going to be so good at this. You're going to be so good at this.

0:36:390:36:42

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:36:420:36:44

-You'll be fine.

-You're going to shine.

0:36:440:36:47

Good luck.

0:36:480:36:50

I'm glad I wore such tight trousers today(!)

0:36:500:36:53

How do you beat your chest with these things?

0:36:530:36:55

-It's a tough one.

-So, hang on...

0:36:550:36:57

Gorilla is the arched back.

0:36:570:36:58

Oh, look at that, look at that!

0:36:580:37:00

Oh, oh, look at him! Oh!

0:37:000:37:04

I've gone Spider-Man all of a sudden.

0:37:040:37:05

No, that's very Spider-Man.

0:37:050:37:07

And what did you say, chimpanzee? What was it?

0:37:070:37:09

-You've got to tuck in.

-Tuck in with your...

0:37:090:37:11

-Tuck in and bend over. There you go.

-SIENNA:

-Oh, my God!

0:37:110:37:14

Do a wolf as a chimp.

0:37:140:37:16

HE HOWLS

0:37:160:37:18

APPLAUSE

0:37:180:37:20

Very good. It was...beautiful, beautiful.

0:37:200:37:24

Listen, we're going to have our music now.

0:37:270:37:29

Andy Serkis, I know you are a huge fan of our guest tonight,

0:37:290:37:35

so I wondered, would Gollum...

0:37:350:37:38

Sorry, I'm...like, poking him with a stick,

0:37:380:37:40

but I want to get my money's worth.

0:37:400:37:42

-Could Gollum introduce this lovely singer?

-What? No way!

0:37:420:37:46

Do you need to get physically ready for this?

0:37:460:37:49

-No.

-OK, fine.

0:37:490:37:50

-It's all on that...

-That idiot board over there.

-..that board down there.

0:37:500:37:54

OK, here we go, here we go.

0:37:540:37:55

GRAHAM CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:37:550:37:56

Gollum introducing our music tonight.

0:37:560:37:58

-AS GOLLUM:

-Well, my precious,

0:37:580:38:01

it's time for music, isn't it?

0:38:010:38:04

No, it's not! Shut your face!

0:38:040:38:06

Yes, it is, precious!

0:38:070:38:09

I love this singer for so many years.

0:38:090:38:12

No, you did not, precious!

0:38:120:38:14

I did!

0:38:140:38:15

What's her name, precious?

0:38:160:38:18

Her name is Alison Moyet!

0:38:180:38:22

Yes, performing The Rarest Birds, it is Alison Moyet!

0:38:230:38:27

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:38:270:38:30

# In this town

0:38:330:38:35

# Forget who you are

0:38:350:38:39

# Remembering who you were meant to be

0:38:390:38:44

# Find yourself bearing easy

0:38:460:38:53

# Mercury aside a Lurex sea

0:38:530:39:00

# Such cloth is this

0:39:000:39:06

# It's thread for a party dress

0:39:070:39:13

# The lights are strung like pearls

0:39:190:39:23

# So offer your throat

0:39:230:39:26

# And if we hang, then we hang in the stars

0:39:260:39:31

# Take my hand and come

0:39:320:39:35

# Be the hostess girl

0:39:350:39:38

# Skip a grace note on your heel

0:39:380:39:42

# To whichever hymn you please

0:39:420:39:46

# For the rarest birds are these

0:39:480:39:53

# Navigate the city walks

0:39:560:40:01

# By dove-grey gum constellations

0:40:020:40:08

# There The Twins and there The Plough

0:40:090:40:16

# And now

0:40:170:40:20

# I'm at your door

0:40:200:40:23

# Seeing you through your window

0:40:250:40:29

# Fixing your hair for grey

0:40:290:40:32

# Pulling at your face

0:40:330:40:37

# Trying not to frown

0:40:370:40:40

# Like this

0:40:410:40:44

# And you hold up your party dress

0:40:450:40:50

# The lights on strings like pearls

0:40:570:41:01

# Let's take on the night

0:41:010:41:04

# And if we hang, then we hang in the stars

0:41:040:41:08

# Hold my hand and come

0:41:100:41:12

# Be the fairground girl

0:41:120:41:16

# We can walk the fairground town tonight

0:41:160:41:20

# Hung up by a breeze

0:41:200:41:24

# As high as you please

0:41:270:41:31

# Hiss the kittens away

0:41:340:41:37

# They'll know something some day

0:41:370:41:41

# It's only ground that they see

0:41:410:41:45

# For the rarest birds are these

0:41:470:41:52

# To whichever sky they please. #

0:41:540:42:01

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:42:040:42:08

Alison Moyet, everybody!

0:42:090:42:11

Beautiful song. Come on, join us, do!

0:42:110:42:14

Oh, so lovely to see you.

0:42:140:42:17

Gorgeous single, darling. Mwah and mwah!

0:42:180:42:20

Come over and meet everybody!

0:42:200:42:22

Alison, there you go.

0:42:220:42:25

That's Tom, Sienna,

0:42:250:42:26

Mark, Andy, Woody.

0:42:260:42:29

There they all are.

0:42:290:42:30

-Pleased to meet everyone.

-Nice to meet you.

-There we go.

0:42:330:42:35

Yes! Say hello. There you go. Oh!

0:42:350:42:38

-Hello.

-Oh, lovely!

-That was lovely.

0:42:380:42:40

I'm getting them all! Fantastic.

0:42:410:42:43

APPLAUSE

0:42:430:42:45

That, of course, was The Rarest Birds.

0:42:450:42:48

The Rarest Birds, which is the latest single off your new album,

0:42:480:42:51

-Other...

-Yes.

-..which is out now.

0:42:510:42:53

You must be thrilled, it's been so well received, this album.

0:42:530:42:55

-Yeah. It's been bonkers. It's been great.

-Yeah.

0:42:550:42:57

You can only affect your output.

0:42:570:42:59

You can't assume you're going to get anything,

0:42:590:43:01

so when it comes back, it's great.

0:43:010:43:02

Yeah, but this seems like,

0:43:020:43:03

I was saying to you, this seems like an album that YOU wanted to do -

0:43:030:43:06

no-one was saying, "I think you should do this way," or...

0:43:060:43:08

To be honest, they're always the albums I want to do,

0:43:080:43:11

it's just sometimes I choose wrong, that's all!

0:43:110:43:12

LAUGHTER

0:43:120:43:14

-You got it right.

-Every mistake I've got to own, you know.

0:43:140:43:17

And we must say, with trepidation, I suppose, after 30 years...

0:43:170:43:20

30 years, you have bitten the bullet,

0:43:200:43:22

and you're going on a world tour.

0:43:220:43:24

Yeah.

0:43:240:43:26

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:260:43:27

Now...are you going to enjoy that?

0:43:290:43:31

No, I love it. Touring is my favourite thing,

0:43:310:43:34

but I must say that even though...

0:43:340:43:36

You have avoided it for 30 years, for something you really enjoy.

0:43:360:43:38

I've done loads of touring, I just haven't gone far afield.

0:43:380:43:41

This time I thought, you know, it's as good as it's going to get.

0:43:410:43:44

Sooner or later it's going to go, so I might as well,

0:43:440:43:46

when I'm at the top of my game, my live game, I might as well do it.

0:43:460:43:49

When does it all kick off?

0:43:490:43:50

Don't ask me. September, I think.

0:43:500:43:52

-You'll be there! You'll be there.

-I'll be there, yeah.

0:43:520:43:54

Thank you so much for that. Alison Moyet!

0:43:540:43:57

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:43:570:43:59

OK, that's nearly it for tonight.

0:43:590:44:00

Before we go, we just have time for a quick visit to the big red chair.

0:44:000:44:04

Who's there? Hello!

0:44:040:44:05

-Hello!

-Hi! What's your name?

0:44:050:44:07

-Diane.

-Diane, lovely. And where are you from, Diane?

0:44:070:44:09

Narborough in Leicestershire.

0:44:090:44:11

-Lovely, and what do you do?

-I'm a retail insight manager.

0:44:110:44:14

What does that mean?

0:44:140:44:15

I do DVD release reports and insight reports

0:44:150:44:18

for a lot of the film studios.

0:44:180:44:20

I'm no wiser! OK...

0:44:200:44:21

Off you go with your story, Diane.

0:44:230:44:25

Many moons ago, I used to rent a room in a house with three guys,

0:44:250:44:29

which had its benefits, but one downfall was

0:44:290:44:31

somebody used to eat all my food,

0:44:310:44:34

so on one occasion, I was pouring a bowl of cereal out,

0:44:340:44:37

and there was no fruit in my cereal.

0:44:370:44:38

-It was supposed to be a strawberry fruited cereal, so...

-OK.

0:44:380:44:41

You've got the power. You've got the power.

0:44:440:44:47

It's addictive, isn't it?

0:44:470:44:49

-It's so fun!

-It's addictive! Boom!

0:44:490:44:52

Such a power seat!

0:44:520:44:55

Shall we get another one? Shall we do another one?

0:44:550:44:57

-Yeah.

-Let's get another one!

0:44:570:44:59

-Hello.

-Hi there.

0:44:590:45:00

Yank that one!

0:45:020:45:04

What's your name, sir?

0:45:040:45:05

-Oliver James.

-Oh, lovely.

0:45:050:45:07

Are you sure?

0:45:070:45:08

What do you do, Oliver James?

0:45:080:45:10

I'm at Brighton Uni. I study wine.

0:45:100:45:12

You study wine... You can do that at university?

0:45:120:45:14

-Yeah.

-Oh, that's just...

0:45:140:45:16

That should not be encouraged.

0:45:190:45:21

Is that a thing?

0:45:230:45:25

-Not that I've heard of.

-That can't be a university course, can it?

0:45:250:45:28

-Isn't it like a...

-A sommelier?

-A sauvignon? Is that what it's called?

0:45:280:45:32

-Sommelier.

-Yeah, that's the one. Whoops!

0:45:320:45:35

Do that at catering college, don't you?

0:45:350:45:37

"A sauvignon blanc?"

0:45:370:45:38

-Yeah, "Some of that, love?"

-Yeah. I'll have some of that. Yeah.

0:45:380:45:43

Shall we try one more?

0:45:430:45:44

OK, one more. Hello!

0:45:440:45:45

-G'day, Graham.

-Hello. What's your name?

0:45:450:45:47

-Sean.

-Sean, and are you an Aussie?

0:45:470:45:50

-I am.

-I'm getting good at this. I used to not know.

0:45:500:45:53

And whereabouts in Australia... Do you live here now, or there?

0:45:530:45:56

-I live here now.

-OK, and what do you do?

0:45:560:45:58

-Accountant.

-An accountant?

-Yeah.

0:45:580:46:00

Do you want to ask me what it's about?

0:46:000:46:02

Oh!

0:46:040:46:05

The cupboard is bare!

0:46:090:46:10

Well done, everyone.

0:46:100:46:12

If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in that red chair,

0:46:120:46:15

you can contact us via our website at this very address.

0:46:150:46:18

That's it for tonight. Please say thank you to my guests -

0:46:180:46:20

Alison Moyet!

0:46:200:46:22

APPLAUSE

0:46:220:46:24

Tom Holland!

0:46:240:46:25

APPLAUSE

0:46:250:46:27

Sienna Miller!

0:46:270:46:28

APPLAUSE

0:46:280:46:29

Mark Wahlberg!

0:46:290:46:31

APPLAUSE

0:46:310:46:32

Andy Serkis!

0:46:320:46:34

APPLAUSE

0:46:340:46:35

And Woody Harrelson!

0:46:350:46:36

APPLAUSE

0:46:360:46:38

Please join me next week with pop group Haim,

0:46:380:46:40

Oscar winner Jamie Foxx,

0:46:400:46:42

the hilarious Steve Carrell, and Kristen Wiig,

0:46:420:46:44

and the legend that is Dame Judi Dench.

0:46:440:46:46

I'll see you then! Goodnight, everybody. Bye-bye!

0:46:460:46:49

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