Episode 12 The Graham Norton Show

Hello, my name is Judi Dench.

Welcome to The Graham Norton Show!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Oh! Oh, my God!

It's actually me!

Yes, yes!

Hello, hello!

-MAN IN AUDIENCE:

-Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Oh, "Ooh, ooh, ooh!" Oh!

Big! Going big on the hello!

Hello and welcome to the show.

Lovely to see you.

All enjoying the warm weather?

-AUDIENCE:

-Whoo!

-Ooh!

It's been hot, hasn't it?

Hot! I tell you, I've been sweating like Theresa May

waiting for the DUP to say yes.

Elsewhere in politics, Vince Cable is the favourite

to replace Tim Farron as Lib Dem leader.

Now, some people are saying Vince might be a bit old.

I mean, they have a point - he's 74,

so, at the time of the next election he's going to be...

74.

LAUGHTER

Brexit talks finally got started this week.

Whoo!

Here's our Brexit negotiator David Davis...

Also known as DD.

Not to be confused with Double D, which, of course, is a huge tit.

APPLAUSE

That was David at the start of the talks,

listening to the words "You're screwed" in 27 different languages.

Meanwhile, it was the State Opening of Parliament this week.

Here's the Prime Minister and Jeremy Corbyn

making small talk on the way in.

She's probably saying, "Are you doing anything nice this summer?"

He's saying, "Mm-hm, I'm going to be Prime Minister."

It was a dress-down version of the ceremony,

dress-down - dress-down! -

and a lot of people on Twitter were suggesting that the Queen's hat

had been made out of an EU flag,

a sign of her love and respect for Europe.

It's odd because over at the EU, they've found a new use

for all our Union Jacks.

LAUGHTER Let's get some guests on!

Later, we'll have music from indie rockers Haim!

Haim are here!

They'll be performing their current single Want You Back -

but first, two comedy greats.

One is the star of Bridesmaids,

the other gave us The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Anchorman.

Together they're in Despicable Me 3.

Please welcome Kristen Wiig and Steve Carell!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

That's actually them!

Look at them!

You are so shiny! That's beautiful.

Hello, sir, lovely to see you. Have a seat, do.

There's more! There's more!

He's the Oscar and Grammy-winning star of Django Unchained,

Ray and Any Given Sunday -

now he's one of the gang in crime caper Baby Driver,

it's the great Jamie Foxx, everybody!

APPLAUSE

I teased you. I teased you. I'm so sorry.

Jamie Foxx!

Good, right? That's good. There's more! There's more.

What can I say? She's one of our greatest stage and screen actors,

and one of my favourite guests.

It is welcome back to Dame Judi Dench!

APPLAUSE

Hello, my darling.

So lovely to see you. Come and sit down!

Whoo!

Welcome, all! Welcome, all. Lovely to see you.

I think this is one of my favourite couches. I like this couch a lot.

Very, very nice.

-Welcome back to everybody - everybody's been here before.

-Yes.

-You, a lot. You have been here a lot!

-Oh, too much, yes!

-No, never too much.

-I've overdone it.

No, no, no.

Now, my American friends, have you appeared on stage or...

African American.

LAUGHTER

OK...!

Have any of you appeared or worked with a dame before? An actual dame?

-I guess I technically have.

-OK.

-Yes.

-That's all I want to know.

OK, great.

Yeah, Saturday Night Live - Helen Mirren.

-Oh, she's a dame!

-Yes. Dame Helen Mirren.

-She'll do.

Was that when you were quite physical with her?

Um...

If you call motor-boating her physical...

Which it is. Very intimate.

-Yes, I would say, yes.

-Have you been motor-boated, Dame Judi?

-Never.

-Never?

-But there's always time.

-Yes!

Jamie loves a challenge!

LAUGHTER

These lips...

That would go viral. I'm pretty sure that would go viral.

Now, Dame Judi, obviously one of our finest actors,

and I think the performing bug bit early on,

because - I know you know this picture -

I don't know how old you were,

but clearly you are the star of this show. Here they are.

Can you tell which one is Dame Judi?

It's this one, who has taken her socks off to upstage the others.

-I pushed my way to the front, there.

-You really did!

She looks so unimpressed!

"I wore socks."

That girl on the right is Angela Beresford,

and she couldn't stand the middles of sandwiches.

LAUGHTER

She used to come to our house and say, "I can't eat this sandwich,

"I can't eat this and I can't eat that or that or that."

-But she would eat the bread?

-She ate the bread.

-OK!

-Perhaps you should make her a bread sandwich?

-Quite.

LAUGHTER

I should have thought of it.

Just give her a loaf.

I like...! I like this one at the end

who just didn't get the memo about the costume at all.

Her mother hated her.

"Go in that, you'll be fine."

LAUGHTER

-Kristen, we also have a picture of you.

-Oh, no.

-I don't know if you're a young performer in this...

-This is...

-..but you are quite young.

-Oh, man!

-OK, can I explain?!

-I...

-# The sun'll come out... #

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

-I had a... I got perms a lot...

-You clearly did.

-..when I was a kid,

and I also discovered Sun-In,

which was supposed to make your hair blonde,

but when you have brown hair, it turns it red.

Great!

It's very cute.

Was this around the time that you decided

to pass yourself off as a musician?

Yeah, my dad had a guitar,

and I would take the guitar out of the case

and walk around my neighbourhood with the case,

because I wanted people to think that I played the guitar!

I would just walk and look at people and be like, "Oh," you know,

and I would just carry it around the block.

-But you kept things in it, didn't you?

-So... Yes.

LAUGHTER

So embarrassing. I remember thinking to myself,

I should probably put vitamins in there in case I got tired.

So, I just had Flintstone vitamins in the guitar case.

-It was very heavy, the guitar case.

-I know, yes!

-You were thinking ahead!

-Yes.

-Now, we have a picture of Jamie Foxx, young.

-Yeah.

But, now, what age are you here?

-Aah!

-Yes!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Hilarious!

-You... You look 47!

-Yes!

We've got the same kind of hair, right there!

Well, that's the Jheri curl, right there.

I was 18, right there.

That was a "Fsst, fsst, fsst."

I was 18 years old.

Is that a backdrop to make it look like there's brick back there?

-You know what? No, I think that is real brick.

-Oh, OK.

Real brick!

Real brick, baby, it's a brick house.

You shelled out for this picture.

Now, if you thought Jamie Foxx looked old there,

I think you were about 20...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

What?!

That's fantastic!

I don't... I see no problem with that.

-Are you about 20 years old there?

-Yeah.

What was going on in your head?

I wanted to look like Magnum PI.

I actually grew a moustache in high school

because I played lacrosse

-and I thought it would make me look more threatening...

-Right.

..but it didn't, really. It just made me look like a porn star.

-A porn performer.

-A porn performer.

That's not a porn STAR, is it?

LAUGHTER

-No!

-He was in it - he wasn't the star, no.

-A day player.

-A day...!

-A day player.

-A porn day player.

HE MIMICS PORN MUSIC

He was at the other side of the pool.

-Away from the action.

-Right! That's amazing.

Listen, We've got lots to talk about, so, dames first.

Dames first.

Dame Judi has a new film, Victoria and Abdul.

Now, it doesn't open till September 15th,

but this is our last show, so you're here to tell us about it.

You play Queen Victoria, Ali Fazal plays Abdul,

and this is a true story, but sort of a bit of history

that nearly got lost entirely.

Yes, I didn't know anything about it at all -

I expect other people did, but I didn't know anything,

because after she formed this relationship with this young man,

when he was sent back to India after she died,

everything between them was all packed away and burnt

or, you know, kept somewhere,

and only discovered, I think, comparatively recently.

In India they found some diaries, is that right?

-They found some letters, yes, or diaries, yes...

-Yes.

..about this extraordinary person she met.

He came to her Diamond Jubilee

to present her with something,

with a coin.

Well, when you see him, you'll see.

She wasn't quite so interested in the coin.

LAUGHTER

-Victoria was a bit of a goer, really, wasn't she?

-She was a goer.

-Yes!

-I mean, oh, I'm full of admiration!

LAUGHTER

Well, after, you know, after her life with Albert,

and then, subsequently, her relationship with John Brown,

you know, still, that is there - that...

you know, that burning thing, whatever it was,

was still there all the time.

There weren't creams back then.

You know...

LAUGHTER

Creams!

-Oh, man.

-Poor Abdul!

So, obviously, famously, you played Victoria in Mrs Brown, in '97 -

it's incredible.

-Yes, with Billy the Divine.

-Yes, the great Billy Connolly.

-Sir Billy the Divine...

-Of, course, yes, he has!

-..now.

-Yes!

So, going back to it, was that an incentive to say yes to this film,

-or did it make you hesitate about doing this?

-No...

You know, you never think, I think,

that you're going to go back to revisit a character

you have played already,

but because I didn't know about this story, I think,

-and because it was beautifully written by Lee...

-Lee Hall, yeah.

..Hall, and directed by Stephen Frears,

and it was a part that I'd done all the kind of homework on,

I found it irresistible. I couldn't have said no.

Excellent - well, we've got a clip.

This is you having an argument with your son, the Prince of Wales,

-played by Eddie Izzard.

-Eddie Izzard.

Yes! They're all in it!

Mummy, enough is enough.

You will drop this forthwith, or...

Or, Bertie?

..or we will have you certified insane!

I'm 81 years of age.

I have had nine children and 42 grandchildren

and have almost a billion citizens.

I have been in office 62 years, 234 days.

I am cantankerous...

boring, greedy, fat, ill-tempered,

at times selfish and myopic - both metaphorically and literally.

I am, perhaps, disagreeably attached to power...

..and should not have smashed the Emperor of Russia's egg...

..but I am anything but insane.

APPLAUSE

-You're so good!

-I've not watched it!

OK!

-I was eating popcorn, like...!

-Yes!

-That's amazing.

-That's a really good clip.

-Amazing, absolutely amazing.

-That really is amazing.

As we were saying, the film is based on these diaries and letters

that got found - now, you don't keep a diary, per se, do you?

I don't any more - and I've always kind of meant to,

and never got beyond - you know, you get so eager,

especially when you are away doing something

and you think, oh, I will write this diary,

and it lasts three days, or two days,

and then you get tired of it -

but, yes, I do keep a kind of memo thing,

of people who come round after the show.

-And what they say to you?

-Well, because it's irresistible, you know?

-So, what are the most common...?

-The most common?

When you do a play, what are the most common?

The most common is, knock at the door, "Come in,"

and whoever it is comes and says, "Oh, you must be exhausted."

LAUGHTER

-I might have said that.

-That's tricky.

Oh, I think you've said it several times!

Or, "How are you?" I get "How are you?" a lot.

And you think, "Well, you've just seen!"

LAUGHTER

-I've had that, yes.

-Is it embarrassment? I expect so.

What's the worst thing someone has said do you?

Um...

"I saw you."

LAUGHTER

Yes, for the last three hours!

-What does that mean?

-"I saw you."

Well, they're obviously too embarrassed

to find something else suitable to say.

Have you guys... What have people said to you, Steve?

My brother came backstage to a play that I'd done

and said, "That was terrible!"

You know, it's a dressing room full of the other actors,

and everyone's - opening-night, "Ooh!" buzzing,

and he comes, like, "Wow, that just... That was awful."

Like, absolutely unfiltered.

The energy in the room...

Doing Saturday Night Live, Kristen,

you must have people come to you -

-it's live, there's an audience.

-Yeah.

Do people come back to you afterwards to talk about it?

Yeah, yeah. I remember getting, like, "You did it!"

LAUGHTER

-OK!

-The other way round,

you guys, if you meet a friend who's been in a film

that is a giant turkey, what do you say?

-Like, if the movie's bad?

-Yeah.

Oh, I've had that done to me.

They'll say something, like, something about your clothes.

"Man, that jacket you were wearing was tight.

"That jacket was tight, dog.

"That jacket was tight. Where did you get that jacket?"

"Did you see the movie?" "Yeah, yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy."

-It was crazy!

-But, you know, your real friends

will tell you that it sucked - but, yeah, you get that.

The thing is, you don't need anyone to tell you.

-No. We know.

-Or they tell you that the chances you took were amazing.

Something like that.

Don't need to talk about the film.

Didn't you have a school reunion

when you were telling people about The 40-year-old Virgin?

I had just shot it - it hadn't come out yet.

"What are you up to, Steve?"

and I told people that I had just written, or co-written

and starred in a movie called The 40-year-old Virgin,

and I could see their eyes rolling back into their heads.

"Oh, good luck to you... Bye.

"Sounds horrible."

Even the studio executives didn't quite understand that film.

They didn't. We were shut down after the first week of filming...

-Are you serious?

-..because they were watching dailies - yeah.

It was the Friday of the first week

and we were in the middle of a scene

and Judd came in and said, "We have to go to Universal

"because they are pulling the plug,"

and apparently - we went in, and they'd been watching dailies,

they'd been watching the movie,

everything we'd shot up until that point,

and said they thought I looked like a serial killer.

LAUGHTER

At that point, I hadn't done any dialogue.

It was me riding my bike.

Me walking by suggestive posters, going "Weurgh!"

And they thought I looked like an insane killer.

-Cos actually, Jamie Foxx, you...

-What's that?

-Kanye West...

-Huh? Kanye West?

-..you kind of failed...

-Oh, man.

-..to see his genius, didn't you?

First of all, the way I even met - and I did, I blew it...

-I didn't blow it, but it worked out.

-LAUGHTER

I know it's not making sense,

because I haven't told you the story yet,

but what happened was that I'm throwing a party -

I throw all these parties at my crib -

so, I'm throwing a party for Puff, and Jay Z's there, and Pharrell,

it's a big party, and this kid walks in with a backpack on

and his jaw is busted. I said, "Who's that?"

They said, "That's Kanye West." I said, "What he do?"

They say, "He raps and he produces for Jay Z."

I said, "Well, everybody that comes to my house has got to perform,

"I've got to see what this dude has," so I walked up to him

and I said, "Yo, man, you do your thing, you rap,"

and he killed with this freestyle, it was amazing.

I said, "Wow, you're going to be famous, man,"

and then he said, "I have... a...a song...that...

"that I think you'd be great on... if we could go, er, to the studio...

"and do the song." I said, "Man, what?

"I'm trying to get into the music business, let's go!"

Cos I wasn't in the music business -

and I happen to have a studio in my crib.

So, we go in the back...

LAUGHTER

-We heard that.

-Yeah!

But the reason I did that was because I would throw parties

for musical people so I could try to get in on a record. So...

LAUGHTER

That's why Puff and Jay Z and all them were there - they didn't know.

We go in the studio and he says "The song, er, goes..."

# She says she wants some Marvin Gaye

# Some Luther Vandross... #

I said, "I got it, I got it."

# She says she wants some Marvin Gaye

# And some... #

He said, "What are you doing?"

I said, "Well, you don't know R&B, see, I am an R&B singer, see?

"I gotta put the R&B thang on it. See, I gotta do that."

He said, "Er, don't do that."

LAUGHTER

He said, "Just sing it simple, because it's hip-hop."

I was like, "All right."

So I sung it begrudgingly, thinking, "This song is wack,

"he's not going to make it, it's not going to work," right?

So, I left, and I went and did a bad movie, and I came back...

LAUGHTER

But your jacket!

-I went and did a bad movie...

-You really did it, though.

..and I came back... It was terrible.

-Really took a chance.

-It was horrible.

I did this bad movie, I come back, I'm in Miami,

and my boy was like, "Yo, remember that song you said was wack?

-"It is number one in the country."

-Wow.

So, that's how you get it wrong, but right, sometimes.

Yeah, that's - whoo! Well done to you!

APPLAUSE

Now, Jamie Foxx is one of the stars - a new...

It's such a distinctive crime caper,

it's directed by our own Edgar Wright, it's called Baby Driver.

Opens next Wednesday, 28th of June.

-The buzz on this film is extraordinary.

-Yeah.

Everyone is talking about this film.

It's an amazing film - and, you know, Edgar Wright, from the UK,

he came up with this great, original idea

to do this heist to music, so, when people watch it,

it's, like, everything, all of the great songs that he licensed,

the hit songs that you're familiar with,

when we pull our guns and shoot them, it's to the beat.

When the cars take off, it's sort of in syncopation.

It's an amazing film.

-Do they play...because so much of it is to the music...

-Yeah.

..would they play the music...?

Cos the soundtrack...

Yeah, we had the ear...earwigs...

-LAUGHTER

-Nice.

-Nice.

-We had the earwigs in our ears so we could hear the music,

so, when I pull my gun, I'm like, "Bang, bang, bang,"

-you know, it's crazy.

-That's so cool.

It's dope. It's dope. It's sort of like...

er, Dreamgirls, if they were robbing a bank...

LAUGHTER

-And who are you in the...?

-I play the black, er, guy.

LAUGHTER

You can see on the posters.

APPLAUSE

Very good.

I play the extremely angry black guy -

I play this guy Bats, who's there to compromise.

He compromises Jon Hamm in front of his girl

and he compromises Baby in front of his girl,

and he's a serious individual.

Well, listen, the scene we've got is Baby meeting the new crew,

-including Bats.

-Oh, yeah.

Meet your new crew.

Over here is Eddie No-Nose, formerly Eddie the Nose.

-What happened?

-Don't ask me that.

That's a No-Nose no-no, page one.

And right here is JD,

he put the "Asian" in "home invasion".

And over there is the one and the only Bats.

No need for intros, Doc.

Everybody from the jungle to the trap know Bats.

This your boy, right?

This the one that listen to music all the time?

The driver is supposed to be the eyes and the ears...

not just the eyes.

Why does he listen to music all the time, Doc?

-He's got mental problems?

-No, no, no.

I'm the one with the mental problems in the crew.

Position taken.

-He's got tinnitus.

-Tinni-what?

He had an accident when he was a kid,

he's still got a hum in the drum. Plays music it to drown it out.

APPLAUSE

It's amazing the way other film-makers have come out

talking about this film - John Landis was talking about it,

-William Friedkin talking about it.

-It's crazy.

You know, I mean, people were just really excited about it,

and you don't buy into the critics' stuff all the time,

but it is 100% on Rotten Tomatoes.

LAUGHTER

-Now, it's not very violent, but there's some violence in it...

-Yeah.

..but your seven-year-old daughter, she was around on set.

Oh, yeah, my daughter, she comes to all the sets, though.

My daughter was on the set of Django,

watching people get blown away,

watching the blood and stuff like that, so...

So, she digs it - and they came to the premiere. So, it's fly.

She does seem like she has quite embraced the idea

her father is a movie star.

Yeah, my youngest likes the Hollywood part.

My oldest hated it.

My 23-year-old...

Even when she was in high school, Corinne, my oldest,

she didn't like any of the flash.

Like, I remember somebody gifted me a Rolls-Royce to drive,

and I went to pick her up in it in high school,

she wouldn't come out.

I said, "Come on, baby, look - the top go back.

"Come on, get in here!

"Look at the top go back!"

She called her mother, like, "Nah, tell him to leave.

"I'm not getting in the car with him, he's crazy."

But my other daughter, my younger daughter,

loves the Rolls-Royce.

She's like, "Dad, put the top down."

I said, "What do you want to do?"

She said, "I want to ride down Sunset Boulevard."

So, I'm riding with my eight-year-old -

at that time she was, like, seven -

she was riding, like...

Listening to Rihanna, you know?

# Work, work, work, work, work. #

Then we were going to the Soho House -

you know, the Soho House is, like, Prius...

you know, in LA, it's very conservative -

I said, "Listen, Annalise, we've got to put the top up

"because this is the Soho - we don't want to look like that.

"It looks terrible."

And as we drive in, as the top is going down,

she's like, "Jamie Foxx in the house!"

LAUGHTER

Steve, you have almost the opposite situation.

My wife and I were driving down Sunset,

and, you know, there are these tour buses

that drive around Beverly Hills, open top tour buses -

"Oh, that's where whoever lives."

We don't live around there, but we were driving through,

I don't know, we were having dinner or something,

and we pulled up next to a tour bus,

and my wife said, "Oh, roll down your window and say hi,

"see what they do."

"Oh, no." "Do it! Come on, it'll be fun."

I rolled down the window, "Hi!"

-Nothing.

-LAUGHTER

20 people on the bus going, "What?

"Nothing to see in there."

Shameful.

Cos, Judi, how you reacted to becoming famous in America -

you go to America now, people know who you are - do you like it?

Sometimes - sometimes they do.

-Sometimes.

-In nice places.

I love that - it doesn't happen here -

because any time I've gone to New York,

I've walked everywhere, I love it,

and somebody will come up and high-five you in the street.

I love that!

-Quite shocking, but I like it.

-That doesn't happen here.

The other day I was with my grandson who, as you know,

-looks very like Ed Sheeran...

-Yes.

..and a group of people were there and they said,

"May we have a photo?" I said, "Yes, of course."

"Not you."

Oh, man, oh... Man.

Actually, there's that weird connection with you and Ed Sheeran.

Ed Sheeran slept on my couch for six weeks before he was famous.

How does that happen?

I was doing a radio show in LA and it was a satellite show,

and he knew we do music, so he comes on my radio show...

-ENGLISH ACCENT:

-"Hello, James, trying to get my music -

"I'd love you to hear my music."

I was like "Well, sure, let me hear it,"

so, he lets me hear his music,

comes to my crib - now I have the bigger crib,

the studio's incredible, because of the Kanye song,

so he plays, I'm like, "You're incredible,"

so he started - I said, "Listen, I know you don't have anywhere to go,

"just chill here," and I gave him food -

my daughter was like, "Who's do you have over here now?"

-Cos I would always have people - would always champion artists.

-Yeah.

So, I said, "Listen, man, I think you've got the goods,

"but I gotta check you out, though,"

so, I took him down to this show I was doing,

a live night, every Monday in LA, downtown LA,

and it was, like, 800 black people, all black.

Like, just the best musicians, who plays...the guitar for Sting -

-I mean, the level of the music was here.

-Yeah.

There was a dude up there rapping,

and he was sweating, and he was black,

another girl, she came up and she sung, and she was black.

They were singing, blackness, it was incredible.

So, all of a sudden, I say, "Ladies and gentlemen, Ed Sheeran."

He pops out...

LAUGHTER

..little red hair and a ukulele.

One of my homeys, who is an incredible guitarist,

but he's just true to the music, "It came from us,

"this is black, blackedy-black." Right?

He says, "Yo, Foxx, come on, man, what's this, man?

"What are you doing to the room right now, man?

"You've got to respect the room."

It was just like a movie - I said, "Well, let's see what the kid has."

He went out there on that ukulele,

got a standing ovation in 12 minutes.

-Wow.

-And the rest was history.

-Wow, that's incredible!

-Yeah.

APPLAUSE

Right.

Our other movie is Despicable Me 3 - Steve and Kristen, you return.

I know... APPLAUSE

This one comes out next Friday, the 30th of June.

-So, first one, villain - second one, love, between the two of you.

-Yeah.

So, what happens this time?

-Um...

-Mixed bag.

-Yeah.

-There's a lot going on in this one.

-There are a lot of plots.

We get fired from our job -

I'm dealing with being a stepmom for the first time.

He finds out he has a twin brother.

The Minions leave us...

-And there is a villain who is stuck in the '80s.

-Yeah.

It's really funny and good.

I mean, it's one of those that...

Because each time, you must be sort of worried,

because the last one was so good.

I, truly - with Illumination and with these films,

there is no worry,

because they are unbelievable writers and film-makers.

We are very lucky.

And playing Lucy - how close to you is Lucy? You, Lucy.

-She has a lot more energy than I do.

-LAUGHTER

There was a question, there, Judi, don't look at me like that.

It was a perfectly valid question -

she's answering it now, it's fine!

She is a lot more caffeinated than I am.

-She is... Yes.

-Up.

-Up. She's very up.

Sometimes, when we would record, I'd go in,

and, you know, you'd start the day,

you have headphones on, you have your water,

you'd start, and then, "OK, let's do it again -

"but can you not just be yourself?" Because you forget.

Because we record, like...

We've recorded over the last two years

-and it takes a long time to make these movies.

-Wow.

-Yeah.

And to go back to it, do you have to listen to the voice again,

or does it matter?

I just listen to the voices that are already in my head.

LAUGHTER

We don't actually get to hear one another.

-We're completely alone...

-Yeah.

The only sort of barometer you have

are the people behind the glass in the control room -

and you can't even hear them, so you just see if shoulders are shaking,

if they're laughing, but otherwise you're kind of in a vacuum.

So it's so weird that you star in all these films,

but this is presumably the only time you meet,

is when you're selling the film?

-Yeah, I didn't even know what she looked like!

-Yeah.

LAUGHTER

We've been doing press for two days, and we just made eye contact.

LAUGHTER

That's so special.

Right, let's have a look at a clip.

This is the children giving you a special treat.

Oh, man.

Aloha!

THEY GIGGLE

Oh!

This is unexpected.

Well, you never got to go on a honeymoon, so...

-We made you dinner!

-It's a luau!

We've got pineapples, and coconuts, and ukuleles!

-Oh, yay!

-Yay!

UKULELE PLAYS

# Hey, ya-ba-ra tiki-tika, hee, ha

# Hey, ya-ba-ra tiki-tika, hee, ha... #

LAUGHTER

# Oh, o-o-o-oh, oh

# Oh, o-o-o-oh, oh

# Oh, tiki, tiki, tiki-ti

# Habo heebo heebo babaloo

# Ah-oh, ah-oh... #

Ahem! The soup of the day,

madame et monsieur.

The gummy bears were my idea.

LAUGHTER

Mm, looks too good to even eat, am I right? Ha-ha!

-But we made it for you.

-Oh.

Mm!

Mm, mm, mm! Good soup!

I love the combination...

HE GULPS

..of gummy bears and meat!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Where did that voice come from?

That voice, I tried out on my kids,

and it made them laugh, so that's the one I used.

That was really... That was it.

Cos... In this, you play your own twin?

I play the twin brother, as well.

It does sound subtly different.

It's a more...

LAUGHTER

It is a more... It's him with hair.

It's a more ebullient version of him.

He's much lighter.

-IN GRUFF ACCENT:

-Gru kind of sounds like this,

"Oh, there's my brother, I hate him!"

And Dru, his brother...

-HIGH-PITCHED:

-I'm so excited to see you!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

It must be so tiring, to do that for a day.

But... but it's not your first kind of Mitteleuropean accent.

Didn't you do one for an audition...?

Oh, I did an audition for the Dana Carvey Show,

where I did a bit called...

..The German Who Says Nice Things.

So he would...

LAUGHTER

So I... I don't know.

I thought it would be funny to just stand in front of people

and yell things with a German accent.

I think one of them was...

-HE SHOUTS IN GERMAN ACCENT:

-"Let's all pile into the minivan

"and get some frozen yoghurt!"

LAUGHTER

"It was a pleasure baby-sitting Kevin!"

LAUGHTER

"You're not getting older -

"you're getting BETTER!"

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Thank you.

Judi, have you done voice work in animation?

-Only once.

-Oh, which one?

Um... Don't ask me that!

-LAUGHTER

-Please don't ask me about cows.

-For six points?

-About cows.

What was it called?

HE WHISPERS: Home On The Range.

-Yes, Home On The Range.

-Yes!

LAUGHTER

-Home On The Range.

-Which one are you? Do you know?

Oh, don't ask me. Mrs...

Mrs Caloway, was I?

-I don't know.

-I don't either.

We have three on offer.

I don't think I... One of them.

One of them, you were one of them, and you were excellent.

LAUGHTER

People talk of it still.

We...

It came out before...

I had to go to Hollywood because of a nomination for the Oscars.

And it was when Brokeback Mountain came out.

And there was a great...

A lot of people were walking up and down, very cross, with placards.

And our car was stopped, and this man came up, very, very angry,

banging on the door window with a placard saying, "Homo On The Range."

LAUGHTER

I was thinking, this is about...

This is about cows!

LAUGHTER

Why are you so angry?

Why are you...?

That's so sweet, you must have felt so confused.

I was confused.

-Now, the two of you play a married couple in the movie.

-Yes.

And, oddly, not for the first time.

-In Anchorman 2, you were a couple, as well.

-Yes.

-There you are, as...

-God!

LAUGHTER

That looks like the hair in the picture!

You're obviously happily married now, Steve,

but it sounds like the wooing of your wife,

it was quite problematic, it wasn't all plain sailing?

No, I didn't sweep her off her feet.

She... I worked at a theatre called Second City in Chicago,

and she worked at across the street,

and was taking classes there at the time,

and she was actually one of my students,

in one of the classes I was teaching there.

And she worked across the street, so after the shows,

I used to go across and say hello, and sit at the bar,

and try desperately to strike up a conversation.

And after months and months and months of doing this,

I finally thought I had the courage to ask her out.

And I said, "You know, if I were to ever ask someone out,

"that person would probably be a person like you."

LAUGHTER

I mean, it was this circuitous...

And her response was,

"Well, if a guy like you were to ask someone like me out..."

And it was just like...

You could tell everyone around us was like, "Shut up and do it!

"You're making us sick!"

And finally, we ended up going out, and that was 23 years ago.

APPLAUSE

Am I right in thinking, Jamie Foxx,

your dating life has changed?

Well, yeah, of course.

It's tough out there.

LAUGHTER

No, you know, I just...

I... I've... I've, um...

My life is...

I'm getting older, but people think I'm younger,

because I hang out with Kanye and all these other...

So I see younger girls and it's...

It's terrible.

And my daughter hates it.

Because, like, you know, I still try to go to clubs,

and she says I'm that guy, I'm still in the club.

Yeah, it sounds horrible!

LAUGHTER

No, cos like, I'm still going to clubs, I'm almost 50,

so I was, I went to...

I hate going to clubs in LA,

because I was going to 1 OAK and these girls pull up,

and I'm outside the club, I'm about to go in.

And the girls go, "Oh, my God! Jamie Foxx!"

I'm like, "What's up?"

"We go to school with your daughter!"

"Oh."

LAUGHTER

"Are you going in the club?"

"No, it's, uh... It's an open house that I'm going to go see."

So I mean, I just have to be careful.

And they don't know... Like, you know, I'm 49,

and, like, I DJ and stuff like this.

So I was DJing at this club, these girls was by the DJ booth,

and they were just so young.

Like, I say, "Well, how old are you?" "I'm 22!"

"How old are you?" "I'm 23!"

"Oh, my gosh, she's ancient, "she's 27." I'm like, "Wow, yeah."

LAUGHTER

Then I said...

Then the girl asked me how old I was.

When I told them how old I was, you would have thought

that I'd told them I had a terminal disease.

I said, "Well, I'm 49."

"Oh, my God!"

LAUGHTER

"Can't you die from 49?"

LAUGHTER

"Come on, girls, let's pray. He has 49."

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

OK...

It's time for music!

This group are quite simply

one of the coolest rock bands on the planet.

After a four-year break, they are set to storm the charts

with a brand-new album.

Here performing Want You Back, it's Haim!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# Some things are long forgotten

# Some things were never said

# We were on one endless road, baby

# But I had a wandering heart

-# I said we were opposite lovers

-Said it from the beginning

-# You kept trying to prove me wrong

-Said you'd always see it through

# And I know that I ran you down

# So you ran away with your heart

# But just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you

# I know it's hard to hear it

# And it may never be enough

# But don't take it out on me now

# Cos I blame it all on myself

-# And I had a fear of forgiveness

-Said it from the beginning

-# I was too proud to say I was wrong

-Said you'd always see it through

# But all that time is gone

# No more fearing control

# I'm ready for the both of us now

# So just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you back

# Just know that I want you

# I'll take the fall and the fault in us

# I'll give you all the love I never gave before I left you. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Haim, everybody!

Very good job. Come on over, ladies. Drop your guitars.

Haim! Come on over.

Hello. Oh, lovely to see you.

-Lovely to see you.

-Hi!

-Lovely to see you.

Sit on the couch.

No time to be wasted.

APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH

That's Judi, and Jamie and Kristen and Steve.

There they all are. Haim.

We are like a super huggy family! Sorry, everyone.

OK, OK. Great, great.

-Down the line and there we go.

-Lovely, lovely. Taxi.

Now, nobody push Dame Judi off.

I'll hold her as a buffer.

-Is everyone on? Everyone's on. Are you OK there?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

Jamie's got a hold of you, grand.

Now, that is from the new album Something To Tell You,

-which was released on the 7th of July this year.

-Yes.

-Is this an anniversary, the 7th of July?

-It is.

It's ten years till our first show... Since our first show.

-Oh, wow!

-So, in our first show, July 7th, 2007. 7.7.07.

-So now it will be ten years.

-Yeah, ten years, two records.

And it was at a clown museum in North Hollywood, California.

-KRISTEN:

-There's a clown museum?

There's a clown museum.

That was the takeaway from that story.

"There's a clown museum?!"

It seems like the scariest place in the world.

And exciting, you're going to Glastonbury this weekend.

Yes, so we might not make it back, apparently.

We're going to get lost in Glastonbury.

-Who nearly died at Glastonbury?

-This one.

Why did you nearly die at Glastonbury?

I'm diabetic and I was so excited to play Glastonbury

that I took a shot of insulin and then got whisked away to

the stage and forgot to eat.

And so I got on stage and I was, like, jamming it out, as you do.

And four songs in, I think I said to the audience even, like,

"This is the best moment I'm ever going to have in my life!"

-And then took just took one step offstage and passed out.

-Wow!

-Mid set.

-But didn't die.

-I didn't die...

I didn't die because my manager, who's a saviour,

has fudge in his pocket, like, frosting,

and he literally put it on his fingers and put it in my mouth.

Again.

LAUGHTER

She meant it that way.

-JAMIE:

-Oh, my God.

-How did I get here?

-I'm stopping.

Listen, have a great time at Glastonbury. Haim, everybody!

So, that's nearly it. But before we go,

we do have time for a final visit to the Big Red Chair.

-Who is there? Hello. What's your name?

-My name's Christian.

Christian, lovely. And where you from, Christian?

-I'm from London.

-What do you do in London?

I'm a marketing...

LAUGHTER

I'm a marketing executive at an education company.

He's a marketing executive, ladies and gentlemen!

Dress down Friday.

It's a very casual office, it's a very casual office.

He doesn't want people to think he's above himself.

"I'm a marketing executive."

OK, Christian, off you go with your story.

So, quite recently I discovered a bump

-on quite an unfortunate part of my body.

-Oh, hello.

His penis!

Which basically, it turned out to be a haemorrhoid.

-Not his penis.

-No, not his penis.

At the time, I didn't know what it was, so I was, obviously,

like, to my partner, "You've got to look at it."

That's a dumping offence right there.

-There I was in the squat position.

-Oh, my God!

And after a, sort of, initial argument of camera angles

and lighting, I started to get the giggles,

hysterical giggles,

and in the process of giggling so much,

-as my partner's face was two centimetres...

-No, no!

We have to go, we can't hear that!

Oh!

I've spared you a great deal.

I don't know what happened, but you don't want to know.

I wanted to hear it.

We'll show you the footage later.

Listen, well done. If you'd like to join us on the next series

and have a go on that red chair,

you can contact us via our website at this very address...

That is it for tonight. Please say a huge thank you to my guests -

Haim, everybody.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Steve Carell! Kristen Wiig!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Jamie Foxx! And Dame Judi Dench!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

That is it for this run, but do join me next week

for a look back at some of the highlights of the past series.

We'll be back in the autumn. Until then, have a great summer.

Good night, everybody, bye-bye!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE