Episode 2 The Graham Norton Show

Hi. I'm Warren Beatty. Welcome to The Graham Norton Show.

CHEERING

This programme contains some strong language.

Oh... Oh!

Oh!

CHEERING AND WHISTLING Oh, you're so kind!

Thank you!

Hello! Hello...

Hello, hello.

Good evening, everyone, you're very welcome.

Yes, I am thrilled to welcome Hollywood great

Warren Beatty to the show!

CHEERING Yes!

Oh, I'll tell you...

Warren joins us tonight on a really packed sofa.

I mean, I hope I haven't overbooked -

I might have to drag one of my guests kicking and screaming from their seat. Mm.

LAUGHTER

Did you see that? Wow.

A passenger on a United flight was

"involuntarily relocated"

from his seat, so they could give it to a crew member.

Like, hats off to United,

cos there aren't many companies that can make Ryanair look good.

LAUGHTER

Like, Ryanair must have been punching the air!

"Yes!"

Or thinking, "Good idea!"

LAUGHTER

The 69-year-old doctor

was left with blood all over his face.

Ironically, the crew then asked if there was a doctor on board.

Yeah, there WAS, but you've just kicked the shit out of him.

LAUGHTER

Let's get some guests on! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very excited - later, we'll have music and chat

from global superstar Jennifer Hudson,

ladies and gentlemen!

WHOOPING I know.

She'll be singing her new single Remember Me.

But first, he's about to start his final season

as Doctor Who - Great Scot, it's Peter Capaldi!

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

-Hello, sir!

-Hello.

Oh, hugging. Lovely to see you. Peter Capaldi!

-Have a seat, do.

-Thank you.

She's the queen of comedy

and she's about to make her West End debut

as Miss Hannigan in Annie - it's only Miranda Hart!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello.

-Trendy!

-I know.

Very nice. Come in and sit down.

Hello, lovely.

She is one of the hottest stars on TV,

in Line of Duty, The Missing,

and now, a new series of hit drama The Durrells -

it's Keeley Hawes!

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

-Oh! Hello, Keeley Hawes!

-Hello!

Oh...

Lovely to see you, my dear. Come in.

Have a seat.

And this man truly IS a Hollywood legend.

He's the Oscar-winning actor, writer, director and producer

behind Bonnie And Clyde, Heaven Can Wait,

Dick Tracy and Reds.

DRUMROLL Please welcome, for the first time,

Mr Warren Beatty!

CHEERING, APPLAUSE AND WHISTLING

Hello!

Come in, come in, come in. Sit down.

Warren Beatty, everybody!

APPLAUSE CONTINUES

Sit! Sit.

Thank you.

Sit, sit, sit, sit. Now, were you guys chatting out the back?

-"Out the back?"

-LAUGHTER

-Yes.

-Yes.

So did you all explain who you are to Warren?

-No, not really...

-He was very kind

-and pretended that he knew all of us.

-Yes.

-Oh, excellent.

Needed no explanation.

Oh, good - so did you know them?

Deeply.

LAUGHTER

-Hollywood legend! Hello?

-LAUGHTER

Hollywood come to call.

But before we do another thing,

we must say, Peter Capaldi - happy birthday!

-Happy birthday!

-Oh, thank you very much.

Yes... APPLAUSE

Thank you.

And we must ask Peter Capaldi, is this...

Is this the year of the tattoo?

Erm...well, I'm not sure.

I mean, the reason you're asking that is

my wife got a tattoo of, er...

On her back, down here, of my name.

-Peter?

-Yes. Which was very sweet of her.

Mind you, that IS quite a common name.

LAUGHTER

She could go again, couldn't she? She'll find another Peter.

But what I'm worried about

is I think she wants me to get a reciprocal one.

-What's HER name?

-Well, it's much longer than mine.

-It's Elaine.

-Oh. OK.

-Not too bad.

-It's not MUCH longer.

-Yes.

But it's not such a common name.

-You might struggle to get another Elaine.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-And have you...?

-I don't have a tattoo.

-Never?

-Never.

-Were you ever tempted?

No.

LAUGHTER

Ah, but I think, you know...

I don't want to say your age,

but you're older than you were...

You can say whatever you want. I'm old.

I think now is the time when... Go tattoo crazy!

Now's the time to get facial tattoos,

neck tattoos...

-You think so?

-Yes!

How much time do you have?

LAUGHTER Well, we have a tattooist...

Live. We're going to tattoo you live.

No, we're not.

But Miranda, YOU have ink - it's so unlikely that you have ink, but...

-I have ink? Is that the street way of saying "You've got a tatt"?

-Yeah.

-"You've got ink"?

-"You've got ink."

-Yeah, people always say

-"I'm really surprised"...

-I can SEE some ink!

Yeah, that's a peace...

That's my dove, and heart.

-What?

-Peace and love, man.

Oh, there's the dove, I see. Yes, I get it.

I've got a lovely, erm...

You know when you've had socks on all day, and you've got a...

LAUGHTER

I just showed that to the nation for the Easter weekend, so there's a treat!

-That's bad circulation.

-Is it bad circulation?

-Apparently so.

-Oh, great, thanks(!)

That's what happens when you...

-And Miranda - he's a Doctor.

-Yeah!

And I'm old!

And I've got a tattoo here

of Chinese symbols, which I won't show you

because I'd...show my breasts on television.

-LAUGHTER

-And the shoe was bad enough.

And it's Chinese symbols, but I don't know what it means...

-Maybe it says "Peter".

-It might say "Peter"

LAUGHTER

But once, I was getting on a Tube,

and a Thai man came up to me and said,

"I promise you I'm not joking, but in my language, that means

" 'Mind the gap.' "

LAUGHTER

And I was like, "Oh, come on..."

And he was like, "Honestly, I swear on my life." So I don't know.

And there's a lot of tattoos on the couch, because Keeley Hawes...

Do you have a tattoo?

I DID have a tattoo.

Oh.

Oh...! Yes, I did, and I got it removed.

What was it of?

The "ink".

-My "ink"...

-Yeah.

-..was...

-It was a dolphin.

-Oh...

Sorry to anybody who does have a dolphin, I'm sure it's lovely.

But I got "inked" when I was 17,

-and then I started having children and things and thought, "Mm."

-Oh.

The dolphin became more of a manatee.

Yes.

LAUGHTER

Now, Warren, the last time we all saw you,

you were involved in...

well, the TV moment,

if not of the year, the decade,

at the end of the Oscars.

-Not the century?

-Let's go with century, yeah.

It probably WILL be -

in compilations, that moment will be shown...a LOT.

-Uh-huh.

-So, end of the Oscars...

I mean, you handled it brilliantly, I have to say,

because it's a big live television show

and there must have been an awful lot of stuff going on in your head.

What was going on in your head?

I thought, "Well, maybe this is a misprint."

-You know?

-Yeah.

"And I shouldn't foul up the show

"just because someone made a little error."

Cos it did look like you handed it to Faye, as in, kind of like,

"Well, I'll let HER do it."

-No, no, no. No...

-LAUGHTER

My instructions were

take the envelope when I walked out -

I couldn't have it before that -

then I go out, then I say something...

-Yeah.

-..and then I open the envelope

and then I give it to Faye,

and she then says what it says.

And she did.

Well, it looked like it said

the name of the movie.

La La Land.

And presumably afterwards, it was bedlam.

Was it just chaos afterwards?

Well, I...

I guess you could say it's chaos.

LAUGHTER

But also, that night, it must have been

all anyone could talk about.

No, that's not true.

People talk about themselves.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Now - ladies and gentlemen,

Warren Beatty is here to talk about his new film,

Rules Don't Apply - it's out on the 21st of April.

Now, you don't make films very often,

but when you do, you REALLY make them -

you write 'em, direct 'em, you're in 'em, you produce them...

And it's been 15 years since the last one,

so is there a particular reason why now?

-Well...

-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

..we have these four kids,

which I like to call our four small Eastern European countries,

I negotiate with them.

LAUGHTER

And they are all more interesting to me than any 50 movies,

and so, now that we're approaching the, er...empty nest period,

then I'll maybe go and make some movies, but...

I don't know if I said to you,

I have sometimes compared making a movie to vomiting.

LAUGHTER

-I don't like to vomit.

-No.

-I rarely vomit.

-Good.

But something builds up and you think about it for a long time

and you don't do anything, you try to avoid working.

And then finally, you say, "Well..."

-HE SIGHS

-"..I think maybe I'll just feel better

"if I go ahead and throw up."

LAUGHTER

-And then, er...you make a movie.

-Lovely!

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

So this one, Rules Don't Apply, is terrific -

well, also, I love films like this.

It's a film set in Hollywood, in the 1950s,

and it's a mix of historical people, fictional people...

and then it's hard - it's a romantic comedy, I guess?

It's a light romantic comedy

with two kids that I think are so...

You know, Lily Collins is wonderful,

and Alden Ehrenreich, who is now the new Han Solo...

-Wow.

-..and they're just really good.

They're funny and they're sweet, and it's...

It's a romantic story between

these two kids who then have the fortune, or misfortune,

to get involved with a kinda crazy old...rich guy.

LAUGHTER

Howard Hughes. He's not playing himself.

Howard Hughes, yeah.

But it's not really a movie about Howard Hughes,

but Howard Hughes has always struck me as kind of a funny guy.

Not a bad guy, but...amusing,

and a good obstacle

to a love affair between these two, I think, spectacular kids

that I was lucky enough to get to do this movie.

Well, listen, we'll talk about it some more,

but here's a taste of the movie from the trailer.

I behaved like a cheap floozy,

and I'm not some tease of a virgin...

You've done nothing wrong.

-..trying to steal another woman's husband...

-Need help?

Mr Hughes wants to see you...

Well, hello!

That's Marla Mabrey. What the hell is she doing here?

You said you wanted the girl with the two Ms.

Yes! Marilyn Monroe.

Ah!

Have you heard from people that I'm crazy?

All right, come on...

If what you are is crazy, then give me some more crazy!

You make an old guy courageous, Marla.

Did somebody give that to you?

She hit the jackpot!

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Thank you.

And that cast is, when you see it - like, boom-boom-boom, like that -

-that's an incredible cast.

-Yeah.

Makes me want to get a tattoo.

LAUGHTER

No, all sorts of people -

Annette Bening, who's been on the show...

She's my superior half, Annette Bening.

-Good booking. Very good booking.

-Thank you.

And how did you say it, Alden...?

-Ehrenreich.

-Ehrenreich.

-Alden Ehrenreich, yeah.

-Alden Ehrenreich. And you were saying he's the new Han Solo.

-He's the new Han Solo.

Cos back in the '70s, it seemed like everyone

was up for Han Solo - Harrison Ford did it...

Were you ever offered Han Solo?

No.

LAUGHTER

But didn't you turn down Superman?

That's...that's an interesting story.

LAUGHTER

I was offered Superman -

I'm told that I was the first person that was offered Superman,

and I, erm...

..I didn't think it was a very good idea

to put a comic strip into a movie.

LAUGHTER

And I said "I'm really not interested in that,"

and the person who had called me about it

said, "No, you really should take it seriously.

"They may spend some money on this."

And I said, "Well, I don't want to do a comic strip in a movie."

"Well, think about it, please think about it."

I said, "OK, I'll think about it."

"And call me back, because they really want you to do this,

!and I think it can be a big deal."

So I called my assistant and I said,

"Go out, please, and get me some long underwear."

"Long underwear - why? What are you talking about?

"You don't wear long..."

I said, "Just get me the long underwear, please.

So she brought back the long underwear,

and I took my pants off

and I put the long underwear on

I opened up the full-length mirror,

and I looked at myself,

and I went to the telephone and I said, "Just forget it!"

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

Warren, so many things have been written about you,

so many "facts"...

Interesting facts, that we don't examine,

-have been thrown out.

-Mm-hm.

I know you don't like talking about this,

so I'm just going to read them out,

and we'll just try and read your expression...

-Uh-huh.

-..to see if you're confirming or denying them.

LAUGHTER

-MIRANDA:

-This is a fun game!

LAUGHTER

It's sort of a Psychic Sal.

-I mean, feel free, if you want to...

-Feel free.

-..confirm or deny them.

-Yeah.

-OK, here we go.

You used to wash your hair every day

with a six-pack of beer.

-LAUGHTER Any truth...?

-No.

-Oh, he's denying that. OK.

That was my one!

LAUGHTER

-Yes?

-Yeah, I did that all the time.

-Uh-huh?

-That was cider.

No-one has that much hair - one can would do you.

-A six-pack seems excessive.

-I would think, yeah.

You and Jack Nicholson had your own secret passageway

into the Playboy Mansion.

Is that true?

Well, I think the story was printed

that there was a tunnel going from Jack's house,

which is near my house, all the way over to Hefner's house,

which would probably have cost in the neighbourhood of 1 billion.

-So, no, that is not true.

-OK.

Was it worth it?

You've lost the Oscar you won for Best Director for Reds.

-That is a lie.

-OK, you know where it is.

-Yeah.

I'm not asking, I'm just pointing that out. OK.

You photo-shopped the Heaven Can Wait poster

to make your crotch look larger.

LAUGHTER

No.

Just asking. Just asking!

Did you mean the crotch?

-The crotch?

-The crotch, that bit.

That's... You mean the hips? What are you talking about?

I would say that area.

Sort of in-between that hip and that hip,

below your belly button

and before the space between your legs.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-You didn't?

-No.

I like how specific you were.

I thought you were speaking about what is in the crotch.

Oh, no, no, no.

Well, I don't know, did you do THAT?

-No.

-You never touched your crotch.

I never touched the crotch.

Now, this is the famous one.

Carly Simon wrote the song You're So Vain about you.

-How would I know?

-Didn't she...?

Has she said?

I don't know.

-OK.

-I don't know, I don't know.

-OK.

And the famous one,

I don't know who did this.

I like that someone studied maths

and this is what they used their mathematics degree for -

they calculated that you've bedded 13,000 women.

Oh, he's just leaving that one!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

No. That...

That was a very busy month.

You would have to live a long time

to be able to do that, and there's...

Well, hello!

And nobody twice.

And quite a number of people every day.

But these numbers...

The answer to your question is no.

I like that you've thought it through -

"Is that possible? No, it's not."

I've been around for so long

and I've had so many things invented about me that I...

I...I sort of think sympathetically about...

How much stuff have you had that has been...?

I can only imagine.

Miranda, you had a weird one.

Yeah, it was sort of so un-showbizzy and kind of strange.

It was that Heather Small had given me a dog,

a Scotty dog called Gary.

Not true?

Not true.

Gary played my love interest in the sitcom that I wrote.

I rather wanted more sort of glamorous...

You are 25-1 to be the next Doctor Who.

-Oh, really?

-Yes.

-Oh, well, there you go.

Peter.

Move away.

-I didn't know that.

-You'd be a great Doctor Who.

-Do you think?!

-Yeah!

I went very high with nerves - "D'you think?!"

HIGH-PITCHED: "Yes, I will do it!"

Do you think I'd morph into...?

Have you done the morph yet?

Is this a double bluff?

I've done, erm...I've done...

I've done my... My death, if you like.

-Doesn't the other person have to be there?

-Not necessarily.

-Doctor Who...

-So, he's about to finish being Doctor Who,

and then he finishes, but Doctor Who lives on...

A new actor comes and plays the part, you see.

-Or act-RESS.

-Or actress.

-Oh, yes.

Or highly trained dog.

We don't know. We just don't know.

Now, Miranda Hart.

Miranda Hart's latest venture is the musical theatre,

in London's glittering West End, in Annie.

Now, you're not playing Annie, we should hasten to add!

-A reworking.

-Really strange!

She's taller than the other girls!

She's had a growing spurt!

She appears to be very menopausal!

-You're playing Miss Hannigan.

-I'm playing Miss Hannigan.

Previews begin 23rd May.

I know people say this,

but this genuinely is your dream has come true.

Yes, and it's one of those...erm,

"be careful what you wish for" things!

Because, yeah, when I was seven, I think, six or seven,

I saw Eric Morecambe on telly

and thought, "I want to be a comedian",

and then that sort of grew into just being an actress generally.

And I used to sing all the parts of Annie from an LP

whenever I got home from school, from the age of about seven,

and it sort of carried on all my life.

Then when I saw the film with Carol Burnett, who was just...

-Oh, my goodness, do you know Carol Burnett?

-Mm.

Oh!

-I mean, I love you, but she...

-Who do you love more?

Well, I love you more, because you're here now.

LAUGHTER

APPLAUSE

13,001!

LAUGHTER

Is it all because...?

Because Miss Hannigan's the baddie,

and we don't see you as the baddie.

That's the other reason that I was really excited

to have the chance to play it,

because, yeah, she's also brash and grotesque,

and she's drunk and she's the baddie,

and I'm normally playing parts that are sort of like this,

and vulnerable, and I apologise for existing.

It's quite a challenge as well

to sort of put my shoulders back and do the tits-and-teeth thing,

be brash and, like, " ... you, world"!"

In fact, look at the way I'm sitting,

I'm sort of taking the couch on a bit.

I have got a bit more personally confident because of her.

-It's quite fun.

-You brought it home.

-Yeah.

Fuck you!

-Children in Annie! Children in Annie.

-Children.

-There's children in Annie.

-Please bring your families along.

Please do.

Here's Hannigan, "Yeah, yeah...!"

Learning the American accent's really interesting,

because one of the first things I was told is that, American,

you just sort of keep speaking to the end of the sentence

and you will just keep talking, culturally, until someone butts in,

because you've got a bit more confidence and you're excited

and you're optimistic and you'll just keep talking, like that.

Whereas we sort of go, "Oh, hello, it's very nice to see you."

And we kind of apologise.

"Does anyone else want to speak now?"

-It's that confidence, it's amazing.

-It's great.

-It's great.

I worked with an American who said...

He came in in the morning and he was tired and he was yawning,

and I said, "How did you sleep?"

He said, "Well, well, well."

I said, "How well?" He said, "I slept like a champ."

We'd say, "Oh, we slept like a log," an inanimate object,

but to him, he already had a success story going already.

He was a champ, and that's how he slept, after a big fight.

It's also like, "I live in a massive house and I earn masses of money,"

and we're like, "I'm so sorry, I'm in the tax bracket."

Mustn't admit any sort of success, can we?

In terms of bringing work home,

-when you work with your wife, Annette Bening...

-Yes.

..do you have rules?

-Yes.

-Do you go, "we don't talk about it", or "we do"?

-I do as I'm told.

-OK.

-Yes.

But do you discuss the scenes at home or is that all on set?

We don't discuss it at home.

I feel that's a full and frank answer.

-Cos, Keeley Hawes, you're married to Matthew Macfadyen, an actor.

-I am indeed.

What do you do? Do you discuss...? Because you have filmed together.

-Yes, we have. But we don't discuss it at home either. No.

-Thank you.

-I'm not that odd.

-There you are.

-No! No-one said that.

And we don't discuss it when we're...

-When we're at home either.

-Yes. No.

None of us will speak of this show afterwards.

It won't even be on the iPlayer.

We sort of say, "Oh, how was the day?"

I'm surprised you don't talk about it.

We don't sit and sort of

talk about the scenes or talk about acting.

It would be really boring and a bit weird, I think, maybe.

-Each to their own.

-It's for different people.

-Exactly.

We've got children to talk about, dinners to cook and things.

-How many do you have?

-Three.

-Oh, we have four.

LAUGHTER

Wow. So competitive!

Now, Keeley Hawes, she is returning to our TV screens

next Sunday at eight o'clock on ITV

with the second series of The Durrells.

And congratulations, because the first series, big hit.

-Yes, very nice too, thank you.

-Yes.

No, because it was the biggest new drama ITV had, I think.

-Something like that, yes.

-There are statistics.

-There are, there are statistics...

-You should know them.

..which I have forgotten.

But, yes, it was, it was a big hit. People really seemed to love it.

And congratulations,

because you've got a BAFTA nomination for Best Drama.

Yes, very nice, thank you.

And, no offence to actors,

but actors do often make their jobs sound slightly harder than they are.

But you... You are very frank about this.

You basically said it's like a holiday.

You go to Corfu and have a lovely time.

It's gorgeous and the people are so lovely

and I'm so lucky with the wonderful cast, you know.

And often you say that and slightly might not mean it, but...

But hand on my heart, you know, all of the kids...

And they're such great actors.

People always say, "What's it like, working with so many kids?"

Three of them are in their 20s -

they're not kids, they just do such a great job.

So, yes, it's very exciting.

Well, we've got a clip.

This is you and your children on Corfu from, I think,

this Sunday's episode,

where you're trying to think of ways to make money.

-Obviously very practical.

-Yes.

Urgently need money.

Come on, everyone, ideas.

We form a family music band and go on tour.

Having learned to play instruments.

I wouldn't normally say this,

but you two girls need to marry well, quickly.

I may once have agreed with you, but now I find that offensive.

Well done, Margo.

Unless he's really gorgeous.

Let's kill Aunt Hermione for the inheritance.

All right, I'll hold her down.

Oh, my God, you're not joking.

Right, thank you, everyone, for your superb ideas.

Today, at the market,

a provocative Englishman made fun of our produce

and he was quite right.

Let's do it properly.

Let's sell our vegetables and grow more.

Let's make goat's cheese and honey,

and let's cook proper English food that nobody here has ever heard of.

APPLAUSE Beautiful.

-They have upped the number of animals in this one.

-They have.

-I'd say they doubled it.

-OK.

-Yes.

-And apparently a lot of birds in this one.

-So many birds.

-But do you train a bird?

-You can.

We have a seagull called Steven SeaGULL, obviously.

-Of course.

-And he is very good. He's quite angry.

I think seagulls generally are quite angry.

But I have a scene with him in this series.

We have a conversation and he was very good.

But you have to act with chickens. Now, you cannot train a chicken.

Chickens, no, no, but it helps...

If the chicken loves you, like our chicken loves me...

I'm really proud of that.

I don't know why, it's quite an odd thing, but it just loves me.

And, yeah, that helps, because it wants to be near me.

So, in scenes, does it kind of edge into your close-up?

Yes, yes!

We had a very long scene, I was sitting at the kitchen table,

and this chicken sort of...

For some reason or other,

the chicken had to be thrown onto the table.

And we really look after our animals -

-it wasn't thrown hard or anything...

-LAUGHTER

It was kicked with a soft shoe.

And it sort of walked along and,

I'm not sure how they've edited it,

but it walked along and...

It does a lot of this.

And then did a bit of this,

and then sort of just stood like this.

And it wouldn't go away.

So then I just sort of sit like that with the chicken, you know...

Can you stroke a chicken? Can you cuddle a chicken?

-Oh, yeah, you can really cuddle a chicken. Well, this one.

-Yes.

And you can roast them.

LAUGHTER

Happy Easter, everyone!

APPLAUSE

Obviously, filming can be hard work, but what you do, Warren,

is this idea of writing it, directing it,

producing it, starring in the film.

I just wondered, as a young actor...

I thought he was going to ask me about affairs with animals.

Yes, yes. So, in addition to the 13,000 women,

let's move into the animal kingdom.

Because you were a successful actor, and presumably, there is

the temptation to have a lovely life being a successful actor.

How did you get the confidence? Do you look back and kind of think,

"How was I confident enough to say, 'I will produce this film, I will be in charge'?"

I don't think you ever have confidence.

You just think, "Well, let's try it."

But I would say that from the beginning,

I had an inclination to be a control freak,

if that's what you mean.

I wanted to, you know, put the thing together.

But really, from the beginning.

Wow. And also, I suppose, the thing is it worked.

If it hadn't worked then we wouldn't even be talking about this.

No, it would be limited.

Because this is extraordinary,

and no-one else has done this - two films, Heaven Can Wait and Reds,

you were Oscar-nominated four times for each film.

Oscar-nominated as the producer, the director,

the writer and the star.

No-one else has done that, have they?

Orson Welles did it once.

But you did it twice.

Yeah! Take that, Orson!

-Yeah.

-Yeah!

You're not done, you could do it a third time.

APPLAUSE

Because you've stayed in Hollywood,

you've stayed making movies in Hollywood,

so you are always dealing, I guess,

-with somebody from a studio or somebody.

-Yeah.

What are the biggest fights about?

What's the biggest fight you've had, making a movie?

Has it been about casting, has it been script, budget?

What have been the big... drawing a line in the sand?

I think of them as discussions.

Jack Warner got very mad at me when we were doing Bonnie And Clyde.

He wanted things changed and that's become somewhat of a...

But our voices rose and I was a kid and he was not

and finally, he said, "Look..."

And I won't use the language,

because I feel it would be inappropriate at this time...

Yeah, Miranda.

Yo!

LAUGHTER

OK. Then he said,

"It's my fucking name on the water tower."

And I took a deep breath,

he had said it was his name on the water tower,

I walked to the window and I looked out and I said,

"Uh-huh - no, it's my initials."

-Oh!

-Oh, hello!

He said, "All right, do whatever you want."

APPLAUSE

And in terms of dealing with Hollywood, Peter,

Peter Capaldi, Oscar winner - he shares an Oscar with you.

But you... No, you did win an Oscar.

-Don't look like that.

-Yes, yes, get on with it.

But the story I want, and it's such a kind of...

It's how brutal Hollywood can be. Peter has such a...

Anyway, tell your story.

It was...I won an Oscar for directing a short film.

I didn't know you could win Oscars for short films,

but there you are, it happened.

Very exciting, went to Hollywood. Marvellous, wonderful.

And I sold a script to a company called Miramax,

who were very famous.

And they let me...

I came back home to Britain and I worked on this script

and they were paying me and it was lovely.

I bought my house and all that stuff.

And we did it over the phone and stuff like that and they said,

"OK, we're going to make this movie."

So they booked me on a flight to New York and I was going to

fly over and start discussions about it.

I got on the flight, got to the hotel,

a big dream car outside,

got into the car and the driver was a lovely guy.

He was called Ralph and he said, "What are you doing here?"

I said, "Well, I'm just going down to begin work on my movie.

"We're going to start talking about casting, probably,

"and preproduction." He said, "Great,"

and he said, "I have to take you down to the office."

I said, "Yeah," and he said, "Then I have to wait for you."

And I said, "No, you probably don't have to wait because

"we're probably going to go for a meal and have some champagne."

He said, "No, I've been told to wait."

Oh...

"All right, OK."

But I still think I'm a big shot by this time, so I gave him a big tip.

I said, "You have that, Ralph. Thanks very much.

"You can wait if you like, but we're going to be a while, probably."

And I go into the offices and meet the guy who is in charge,

Bob, who basically says,

"We ain't going to do this. It's over."

And that was it.

We weren't going to do anything else,

we weren't going to talk about production,

we weren't going to talk about other projects.

It was just over, there was the door...

"But your driver's waiting."

And I got into the car and I was sort of in shock.

I didn't know what to do because I had no money.

I spent all my money, I had no career as an actor

because that was over cos I decided to be a director,

and I was laughing.

I said, "It's over."

Ralph was saying, "But what's happened to you?"

I said, "I was going to make a movie

"and now I'm not going to make a movie, and I've got no money,

"I've got no career, I've got nothing."

And we got out of the car and he gave me my tip back.

Oh!

APPLAUSE

That's New York!

Does that happen, though? Is it cut-throat?

Twice a week, twice a week.

-Not to Warren.

-No.

Well, listen, it's all ended happily,

because Peter Capaldi now is back where he belongs

for one final season with Doctor Who.

Tomorrow night, 7.20, BBC One. So, this is bye-bye?

This is bye-bye, yeah.

Have you finished, finished, finished?

I've still got the Christmas special to do.

-So we finished on Friday, we've been filming for ten months.

-OK.

It was shoot day 205, was last Friday,

so we're all pretty exhausted.

But if you've done the...

Ah, well, you've got to watch it and see.

I have done the death of my character.

OK, so...

Wait a minute, are you the 13th Doctor as well?

-Do you just come back as yourself?

-Well, that's the surprise!

-Surprise!

No, I can't tell you what's going to happen,

but it's going to be very interesting.

And not to pry, but is there any particular reason

why you say bye-bye now?

I think I've always...

You know, Doctor Who is a great job

but it's a bit of a television factory, you know?

You do 12 episodes a year, and I just worry

that I wouldn't be able to do...

I wouldn't be able to continue doing my best work because,

you know, I like to be able to learn the lines and do some preparation

and come in and give it the vigour and fun.

-And not hate it.

-And not hate it, yes.

So I just thought, you know, "While you're enjoying it, leave."

But in terms of doing press and things, obviously Doctor Who

is all over the world, so you have to do press everywhere.

-But was it in Germany you had an awkward...?

-Oh, I went to Berlin.

I love Berlin but, you know, being British, of course,

you still are a little bit uptight there,

and people do say to you, "Don't mention the war."

So you try... If you remember, the war I mean is the last one,

the Second World War.

So I went there, and we'd never gone to Berlin to publicise

Doctor Who before, so I was very nice and thinking,

"I'll not mention the war."

And the very first journalist I met, he said to me,

"Is it true that the Daleks are based on the Nazis?"

LAUGHTER

And I thought, "What do I say?

"Will I offend the Nazis if I say yes?

"Oh, to hell with them.

"Yes, of course they were based on the Nazis."

-Are they based on the Nazis?

-Yeah!

-Oh!

Is that why they do that?

They walk around like that and say,

"Exterminate, exterminate, exterminate."

They're Cockney Nazis.

There are a few of those.

Let's enjoy a moment from tomorrow's opening episode.

-This is you and your new companion.

-Yeah.

-Two new companions.

Yes, that's right. We've got the wonderful Pearl Mackie,

who is playing the character of Bill Potts,

who's wonderful, and also, Matt Lucas is joining us as well,

-so there's a whole new team in the TARDIS.

-Woo-hoo!

Well, this is you and Pearl Mackie, playing Bill Potts,

entering the TARDIS.

-I'll tell you what, let's just pop into my box.

-Your box?

What good is getting in your box going to do?

What an extraordinarily long and involved answer this is going to be.

How is nothing getting in? We're trapped in here!

-Nothing gets through these doors.

-But they're made of wood.

They've got windows!

Look, this is all mad, I know, but that's the guy I told you about.

Heather? Only I don't think it's really her.

I know this is hard to believe.

I know you're not exactly a sci-fi person...

Time and relative dimension in space.

TARDIS for short.

APPLAUSE

OK!

It's time for music.

Now, this lady is a multi-platinum Oscar and Grammy-winning superstar.

Here performing her latest single,

Remember Me, please welcome Jennifer Hudson.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# There you are

# Yeah, you found me

# Strong enough to break my sleep

# Say it hurt

# Say you're lonely

# Say I forgot to give you what you need

# Well, I promised you gold

# Yet I have it to hold

# I was bound to

# I was bound to

# I couldn't give any more

# Cos it's already yours

# Look around you

# Look around you

# So do you remember me

# Remember me

# In those moments just before you sleep?

# Before you sleep

# I know you remember me

# Remember me

# Swear to me the memory isn't seen

# It isn't seen

# Promise me

# That it doesn't make your heart beat

# Oh

# Doesn't make your heart beat

# Well, I know you

# You know me

# Oh, baby, we don't even gotta speak

# All you hear, same as you

# What you feel, feel it too

# All you gotta do is read, yeah

# But nothing you ever said

# That could drive me away

# I'm inside you

# I'm inside you

# So if you make a mistake

# Let me carry your weight

# I'm beside you

# I'm beside you

-# So do you

-Remember me

-# Remember me

-Remember me

# In those moments just before you sleep?

# Just before you sleep

-# I know you

-Remember me

-# Remember me

-Remember me

-# Swear to me the memory isn't seen

-It isn't seen

# Promise me

# That it doesn't make your heart beat

# Oh

# Doesn't make your heart beat

# I'm here when you want me

# When you want me

# There's no place I'd rather be

# You may not know it

# May not know it

# But it doesn't end like this

# It doesn't end like this

# I know you

# Remember me

# In those moments just before you sleep

# Before you sleep

# I know you remember me

# Swear to me

# Swear to me

# Promise me

# That it doesn't make your heart beat

# No, it doesn't make your heart beat. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Woo!

Wow!

Jennifer Hudson, everybody!

How beautiful was that? Come on over, do!

And well done, the orchestra and everything, the singers.

Hello, darling. Jennifer Hudson!

Come and have a seat, do.

Peter Capaldi, Miranda Hart,

Keeley Hawes, Warren Beatty...

-Thank you so much.

-..all here for you.

OK.

Love it, OK.

Now, yes, sit, sit, sit.

That was beautiful, thank you very, very, very much. It was gorgeous.

That of course is the new single. It's out now. It's terrific.

So, presumably part of an album.

Yes, that's in the works.

-That's in the works.

-Yes.

-Are you recording that now?

-I am.

Thank you very much for that,

-because I know it was all live and everything.

-Oh, yes.

-That's beautiful, really, really terrific.

-Thank you.

And congratulations on The Voice.

-You won The Voice.

-I won! Team J Hud!

-Yes!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

It's my first season too.

First season, you were the first ever female judge winner.

To actually win, so, yeah. I still can't believe it.

-So, will you be back next year?

-I want to be back next year.

-If you guys will have me back.

-Oh, yeah!

-We love you.

-Thank you, thank you.

Actually, no, before you came out,

-Peter Capaldi was saying he was a big fan of yours.

-Oh, thank you!

Absolutely. And The Voice I absolutely love.

And you were so kind to people, and also, you're such a huge talent.

-Wow.

-And also, to have those youngsters there who were

so gifted and to have a person like yourself teach them

-and help them was wonderful. Wonderful to see.

-Thank you.

And also because you went through that whole gruelling process

-because of, obviously, American Idol and everything.

-Yeah.

So, what's the story about you entering a singing competition?

Well, see, first of all, I started out singing in contests,

so me and my assistant, who's still my assistant to this day,

as kids we would go and win all the talent shows

and we would split the money.

He would get 10%. So, not too long ago,

we decided to try our hand at it again.

We were in Florida and we went to this random bowling alley

and they so happened to have a karaoke contest.

And I was like, "Oh, I'll enter this contest and see if I can still win."

And I actually won and they were so excited. They were like...

They didn't know I was Jennifer Hudson, they was like,

"You just won 75." I was like, "I won 75?!"

And they said, "Come back next week, it'll be even more money."

I was like, "I will be back. I sure will."

I won!

And, Warren, you were saying, did you see...?

I go way back with Jennifer. I think she's just...

-HE EXHALES

-Thank you so much.

-That's how I feel about you.

-SHE EXHALES

-Thank you, thank you.

-It's hard to put that on a poster.

Warren Beatty... HE EXHALES

Now, very quickly, are you going to tour?

I am! I'm going to come here and sing for you guys,

so come out and see me.

This fall, so I'm going to start...

I don't know what I'm going to call it.

I want it to be called Music And Me Tour.

So, um, which will start this fall, so look for me.

We will. And it will all be the new...

Because when is this album that you're working on going to be out?

Well, it better be done by the time the tour happens!

-Otherwise it's a bit of a wasted opportunity.

-Exactly.

That is the goal. But, you know, I'll be covering, like,

just everything that I've done, because I'm also an actress as well

and I sing a lot as my characters in films.

And it's so many different outlets that people resonate with me,

so I want to be able to incorporate it all in the tour,

whether it's from Dreamgirls, American Idol, The Voice -

I don't care, I want to put it all in there.

-Have an evening with Jennifer Hudson, how about that?

-Wow.

Well, if it's as good as that, we'll be flocking to it.

Jennifer Hudson, everybody. Thank you very much.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Nearly done, here we go...

But before we go, of course,

we do have time for a very quick visit to the Big Red Chair.

Who's there? Hello!

-You, sir?

-Yes.

-Hello.

LAUGHTER

High hopes I don't have.

-What's your name, sir?

-David.

-David, lovely.

-And where are you from, David?

-Australia.

-You live here now?

Yes, I do, I live in Surrey.

You live in Surrey, lovely part of the world.

And what do you do in Surrey, David?

I design and build exhibitions, so I'm an exhibitionist, really.

LAUGHTER That was good.

-APPLAUSE No, it was nice.

-Good.

-Funny.

-All right, David, off you go with your story.

-OK.

When I first came over to England, I had a couple of

interesting moments with the English accent.

And I had a blocked ear,

so I had to go to the walkabout centre to get it unblocked.

And after she'd flushed my ear out, the nurse said to me,

"Now I want you to oil your ear and your willy."

And I said to her, "And my willy?"

She said, "No, annually."

LAUGHTER That's good!

You can walk. You can walk!

Very good!

Well done, everyone. If you'd like to join us on the show

and have a go on the red chair,

you can contact us via website at this very address.

That is it for tonight, so please say

a big thank you to my guests, Jennifer Hudson, everybody...

CHEERING

It's Peter Capaldi... CHEERING

..Miranda Hart... CHEERING

..Keeley Hawes... CHEERING

..and Mr Warren Beatty.

CHEERING

Join me next week when guests include comedian Rob Brydon,

Line Of Duty's Vicky McClure,

Mrs Brown's alter ego Brendan O'Carroll

and pop superstar Harry Styles.

I'll see you then. Goodnight, everybody, goodbye.

APPLAUSE