Browse content similar to Episode 8. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!
Line | From | To | |
---|---|---|---|
This programme contains some strong language | 0:00:02 | 0:00:07 | |
Good evening, buenas noches. I am Salma Hayek and welcome to the Graham Norton Show! Yeah! | 0:00:07 | 0:00:11 | |
Hello! | 0:00:25 | 0:00:27 | |
CHEERING | 0:00:27 | 0:00:29 | |
Good evening! | 0:00:32 | 0:00:33 | |
Good evening. | 0:00:33 | 0:00:35 | |
You're very welcome, thank you for being here. | 0:00:35 | 0:00:38 | |
Whoo! | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
Now, look, normally at the start of the show | 0:00:41 | 0:00:43 | |
we take a look at some of the funny things that have been going on in the world. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:47 | |
Sometimes, the world isn't a very funny place, especially this week, | 0:00:47 | 0:00:51 | |
after the terrible event in Manchester. | 0:00:51 | 0:00:53 | |
So, tonight, look, all we're hoping to do is bring you a bit of distraction. | 0:00:53 | 0:00:57 | |
We're gonna do our show, chat about films, books, | 0:00:57 | 0:01:00 | |
hear music, tell some silly stories, | 0:01:00 | 0:01:02 | |
flip some people on a big red chair, | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
and we hope it brings a smile. | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
But I would like to say one thing. | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
We record this show in London, I live in London, | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
I'm sure most of you are from London. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:14 | |
But we are watched, not only the length and breadth of Britain, | 0:01:14 | 0:01:16 | |
but all around the world, too. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
And that gives me the chance to say, Manchester, we're all standing with you. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:22 | |
OK! | 0:01:22 | 0:01:23 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:01:23 | 0:01:25 | |
Um... | 0:01:25 | 0:01:27 | |
Shall we begin our show? | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
Let's start it! | 0:01:30 | 0:01:31 | |
CHEERING | 0:01:31 | 0:01:32 | |
OK, we'll get some guests! Later, we'll be joined by the stars of the new BBC comedy, White Gold, | 0:01:32 | 0:01:36 | |
Ed Westwick and James Buckley! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
But fir... CHEERING Yes! | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
But first! He was part of the biggest boy band in the world, | 0:01:40 | 0:01:43 | |
One Direction, and now he's launching his bid for solo stardom. | 0:01:43 | 0:01:46 | |
Please welcome Liam Payne, everybody! | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
That's Liam Payne! | 0:01:49 | 0:01:51 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello, sir! | 0:01:51 | 0:01:53 | |
-Very nice to see you! -Hi! | 0:01:53 | 0:01:55 | |
-Have a seat. -Thank you. | 0:01:56 | 0:01:57 | |
Liam Payne! | 0:01:57 | 0:01:59 | |
This man is not just the award-winning co-creator | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
of Little Britain and our favourite judge on Britain's Got Talent, | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
he's also one of the country's most successful children's authors. | 0:02:05 | 0:02:08 | |
It's David Walliams, everybody! | 0:02:08 | 0:02:10 | |
CHEERING | 0:02:10 | 0:02:12 | |
Lovely to see you. Come in, sit down. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:17 | |
And this Hollywood leading lady | 0:02:18 | 0:02:21 | |
is one of my favourite guests. Her latest film, Beatriz At Dinner, | 0:02:21 | 0:02:25 | |
will be opening this year's Sundance Festival in London. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:27 | |
It's a warm welcome back to the fabulous Salma Hayek! | 0:02:27 | 0:02:31 | |
CHEERING Wowzer! Wowzer! | 0:02:31 | 0:02:34 | |
You look amazing. Hello! | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
-This is stunning! -Thank you. | 0:02:38 | 0:02:40 | |
Salma Hayek, everybody! | 0:02:40 | 0:02:41 | |
Whoo! | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
I would describe this couch as something for everyone. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:50 | |
That is quite the couch, I like it! | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
-Welcome back, welcome back... Well, all welcome back! -Yes. | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
-Yes, but of course, it's Liam's first time by yourself. -Yes. -Flying solo. | 0:02:56 | 0:03:00 | |
It's a very different sofa, I can fit on it properly. | 0:03:00 | 0:03:03 | |
-Not on a stool at the end. -Yes. | 0:03:03 | 0:03:05 | |
Old knees. | 0:03:05 | 0:03:06 | |
-You are singing for us later. -Yes. -The new single. -Yes, er, Strip That Down. | 0:03:06 | 0:03:11 | |
-Well done, that's your job. -What's the name again? -Strip That Down. -Strip That Down? | 0:03:11 | 0:03:14 | |
-DAVID AND LIAM: -Strip That Down. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
-Oh, Strip That Down. -Don't pretend you know, David! | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
I'm a Directioner, I know everything about it! | 0:03:18 | 0:03:21 | |
I love a great boy band. | 0:03:22 | 0:03:23 | |
Why is that funny? | 0:03:25 | 0:03:27 | |
-And you're the greatest of all time. -Thank you! | 0:03:27 | 0:03:30 | |
We worked together at the Royal Variety Performance. | 0:03:30 | 0:03:32 | |
-Yes! Which was a lot of fun, that was great. -I played a kind of super-fan. | 0:03:32 | 0:03:35 | |
-Yes. -I was dressed... This is a first, Graham, but I was dressed as a woman. | 0:03:35 | 0:03:38 | |
-LAUGHTER -There's a first time for everything! | 0:03:38 | 0:03:42 | |
-And we did a... -Was it the last time? | 0:03:42 | 0:03:45 | |
No, it was not! | 0:03:45 | 0:03:46 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
It really wasn't. | 0:03:48 | 0:03:49 | |
And, listen, before we do anything else, we must all say a huge congratulations | 0:03:49 | 0:03:53 | |
to Liam, a new daddy! You and Cheryl have a baby. | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
CHEERING | 0:03:56 | 0:03:58 | |
Yeah! How old now? Weeks! | 0:03:58 | 0:04:01 | |
He is just over two months, he's nearly nine weeks. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
-Oh, that old! -Yes. -Wow. | 0:04:04 | 0:04:06 | |
And you were there at the birth, you were there at the birth, definitely. | 0:04:06 | 0:04:09 | |
Yes, I was there at the birth and it was... | 0:04:09 | 0:04:10 | |
It was the most amazing thing and then I was left with Bear after... | 0:04:10 | 0:04:13 | |
after she gave birth and she fell asleep, | 0:04:13 | 0:04:15 | |
and I'd never changed a nappy before until I met Bear, so I was like, | 0:04:15 | 0:04:19 | |
"I can do this." I spent the whole day doing the nappy changing business | 0:04:19 | 0:04:22 | |
and I was getting along with it just fine, it was going great. | 0:04:22 | 0:04:24 | |
I hadn't been wee'd on, we struck a deal early doors. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:27 | |
And then, at five o'clock in the morning, | 0:04:27 | 0:04:28 | |
Bear woke up and my missus was like, "Oh, I'll do this one." | 0:04:28 | 0:04:33 | |
So I was like, "Cool, yeah, OK." Hand over Bear. | 0:04:33 | 0:04:36 | |
So his first nappy change, she unveils the nappy. He's poo'd. | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
First time it's happened. And then he starts sprouting off wee like a mini Bellagio painting. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:43 | |
In my head there was music and slow-mo going on and everything, | 0:04:43 | 0:04:47 | |
wee going everywhere. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:48 | |
Yeah, it was... I think it was very ironic after she did | 0:04:48 | 0:04:51 | |
all the hard work, but as I said we struck a deal early doors, so it was OK. | 0:04:51 | 0:04:56 | |
-I like that, music and slow motion. -It was! | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
-I thought the lights flickered on and off at one point, I swear to God. -Is your wife breast-feeding? | 0:04:59 | 0:05:03 | |
-Yes, she is, yes. -Good girl! -Yes, she's doing really well. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
The best you can do for your kid. I was breast-feeding for 14 months | 0:05:07 | 0:05:12 | |
and it got complicated. I was very discreet, hiding. | 0:05:12 | 0:05:16 | |
But one time... My mom's an opera singer, | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
-and one time... -Amazing. -..she's also hypoglycaemic, | 0:05:18 | 0:05:24 | |
and opera singers are always a bit diva-ish, right, | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
so I'm with my mother and another friend who's also breast-feeding, | 0:05:27 | 0:05:31 | |
and my husband and some other people, | 0:05:31 | 0:05:35 | |
and we're in Ibiza and my mom starts going, | 0:05:35 | 0:05:38 | |
"I'm getting the hypoglycaemia. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
"I'm getting it! We have to eat right now! Right here." | 0:05:40 | 0:05:45 | |
So it's an outdoor cafe, there's many outdoor cafes full of people. | 0:05:45 | 0:05:49 | |
Now, now she sits down, right, | 0:05:49 | 0:05:52 | |
and then I have to feed the baby. So nobody's really recognised me yet, | 0:05:52 | 0:05:56 | |
and I have this shawl, I am covering. | 0:05:56 | 0:06:00 | |
Really trying to be low-key. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
And then this poor guy comes with his guitar | 0:06:02 | 0:06:05 | |
-to try to sing Torna a Surriento in the middle of the cafe. -Oh, wow. | 0:06:05 | 0:06:10 | |
And my mom, who cannot miss an opportunity to show off... | 0:06:10 | 0:06:16 | |
They're eating, my friend and I are like this. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:20 | |
And my mom starts going, sitting down, | 0:06:20 | 0:06:23 | |
# No, to-to, to-to... # | 0:06:23 | 0:06:25 | |
Everyone starts standing around and going, "Wow, wow." | 0:06:25 | 0:06:29 | |
And then at some point, you know, she feels the attention | 0:06:29 | 0:06:34 | |
and she starts | 0:06:34 | 0:06:36 | |
# La-la.... # | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
She does one super loud, | 0:06:38 | 0:06:40 | |
and then people start coming out of the other cafes, | 0:06:40 | 0:06:44 | |
and then she stands up, | 0:06:44 | 0:06:46 | |
and she starts performing! | 0:06:46 | 0:06:48 | |
And the poor guy behind her with the little guitar, | 0:06:48 | 0:06:51 | |
me with my tit out... | 0:06:51 | 0:06:53 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:06:53 | 0:06:54 | |
I take it out to hide it and the baby starts crying, she's like, | 0:06:54 | 0:06:58 | |
"Shush!" | 0:06:58 | 0:06:59 | |
You know, my friend is also not knowing what to do, so... | 0:07:01 | 0:07:04 | |
Let me tell you something, for breastfeeding mothers, | 0:07:04 | 0:07:06 | |
the fact that you're famous is not going to go well. | 0:07:06 | 0:07:10 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:07:10 | 0:07:14 | |
Now... | 0:07:14 | 0:07:15 | |
Salma Hayek is in a great movie, it's called Beatriz At Dinner. | 0:07:17 | 0:07:21 | |
It opens the Sundance Film Festival, which is in London. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:25 | |
-Yes, next week. -There are various Sundances, so this one is in London next Thursday. | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
And, now, you play Beatriz. How do you describe it? Because it's half a comedy of manners | 0:07:28 | 0:07:34 | |
and yet it also has this quite profound sort of social conscience. | 0:07:34 | 0:07:37 | |
-Exactly. -What do you tell people about it? | 0:07:37 | 0:07:39 | |
I tell them to go see it. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
I tell them to go see it because I think it's fantastic, | 0:07:42 | 0:07:46 | |
and this is one of those rare occasions where I'm not lying. | 0:07:46 | 0:07:50 | |
I feel you. | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
You have the studios pushing you and you have to say and you're like, | 0:07:54 | 0:07:58 | |
"Yeah, it's wonderful!" You know, | 0:07:58 | 0:08:01 | |
um, and inside you're like, "I hope nobody sees this." | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
But this one, actually, I think they should go see it. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:09 | |
It's different, it's, er... | 0:08:09 | 0:08:13 | |
Very strong. It makes you think a lot. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:17 | |
Er, it...it makes you laugh, it makes you... | 0:08:17 | 0:08:21 | |
-..feel nervous. -Yes. | 0:08:22 | 0:08:23 | |
-Yeah, it makes you uncomfortable. -It makes you uncomfortable. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:27 | |
Um, I play a holistic healer. | 0:08:27 | 0:08:30 | |
And I am invited by... | 0:08:30 | 0:08:35 | |
by force, because they have no other choice, to this dinner, | 0:08:35 | 0:08:39 | |
of very powerful people. | 0:08:39 | 0:08:40 | |
And I... Talk about fish out of water, | 0:08:40 | 0:08:44 | |
and, um... | 0:08:44 | 0:08:45 | |
It's like the worst night of my life. I mean, | 0:08:45 | 0:08:47 | |
I'm sure you guys have had some really bad dinners, but this movie... This really is very bad. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:54 | |
We've got a clip from the film. This, appropriately enough, | 0:08:54 | 0:08:57 | |
it's sort of self-explanatory, I think, | 0:08:57 | 0:09:00 | |
-this is just Beatriz at the dinner. -At part of the dinner, yeah. | 0:09:00 | 0:09:05 | |
Tonight you have a choice of two entrees the chef has prepared... | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
I would just like to say to Cathy and Grant, | 0:09:08 | 0:09:09 | |
thank you for having me tonight. I know you were not expecting me, | 0:09:09 | 0:09:12 | |
but I love Tara, I love your family and I love being in your house. | 0:09:12 | 0:09:18 | |
And it's an honour to meet all of you. | 0:09:18 | 0:09:20 | |
Aww, so sweet, thank you. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:22 | |
And I would like to give you all treatments, free, of course, | 0:09:22 | 0:09:24 | |
as my way of saying thank you for including me tonight. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:27 | |
-Oh, no, Beatriz, you don't have to do that! -A treatment? What do you mean? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:31 | |
-She's a masseuse, Doug, she gives massages. -We're getting free massages? All of us? | 0:09:31 | 0:09:35 | |
-At the same time? -You wish, you sicko! | 0:09:35 | 0:09:38 | |
You would have to come to the centre in Santa Monica. | 0:09:38 | 0:09:41 | |
-I have an office. -You have an office, good for you. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:44 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
And while you were on set you had a birthday. | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
-Yes, I turned 50. -No! -What? | 0:09:52 | 0:09:54 | |
Good, right? Good. | 0:09:54 | 0:09:56 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
No! No. | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
And I had no Botox! No Botox! | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
-APPLAUSE -No Botox! No fillers. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
-Salma! -But I do confess... -You should see her close up! | 0:10:06 | 0:10:08 | |
It's a patchwork quilt! | 0:10:08 | 0:10:10 | |
No, I have to give a tip, I have to confess because the girls... | 0:10:10 | 0:10:14 | |
I do pull my hair, you see, it's like... | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
Here's it's a little bit pulled. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
It's giving me a headache but I'm enduring it for you. | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
You cannot do that. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:29 | |
You probably could do it but... in a couple of years. | 0:10:29 | 0:10:33 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:10:33 | 0:10:34 | |
-What Botox or the hair? -No, the pulling. | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
-You don't need it. -Thank you. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:39 | |
GRAHAM LAUGHS | 0:10:39 | 0:10:41 | |
"No, it doesn't make me feel good, thank you(!)" | 0:10:41 | 0:10:45 | |
-But anyway... -They celebrated your birthday. | 0:10:45 | 0:10:48 | |
They celebrated and brought a Mariachi band. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:51 | |
I was really moved. I came to work cos I had to work on my 50th! | 0:10:51 | 0:10:56 | |
But when I arrived, bitch, I'm sorry, I was not happy. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
I have to work today, blah, blah, blah. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:04 | |
Then of course I opened the car door and there's this Mariachi, | 0:11:04 | 0:11:08 | |
and I cried, it was amazing. | 0:11:08 | 0:11:11 | |
They told me the producer, when Miguel proposed the Mariachi, | 0:11:11 | 0:11:15 | |
she said, "But is that politically correct because she's Mexican, | 0:11:15 | 0:11:20 | |
"to bring a Mariachi actually? Is she going to think it's racist?" | 0:11:20 | 0:11:26 | |
So she was really nervous. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
So I made a joke at her and said, "I need to talk to you." | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
I said, "I'm really grateful for the thought of doing something on my | 0:11:31 | 0:11:35 | |
"birthday, but really? | 0:11:35 | 0:11:39 | |
"A Mariachi?! | 0:11:40 | 0:11:42 | |
"Are we having tacos for lunch?" | 0:11:42 | 0:11:45 | |
She was nearly in tears. | 0:11:47 | 0:11:49 | |
I said, "I'm sorry, I find this a little racist but..." | 0:11:49 | 0:11:53 | |
Then I said it was OK. | 0:11:53 | 0:11:54 | |
David, you get invited to all sorts of things. | 0:11:54 | 0:11:58 | |
You were on holiday when Bryan Ferry invited you to something? | 0:11:58 | 0:12:02 | |
Yes, I was at a very nice hotel in Turks and Caicos and | 0:12:02 | 0:12:06 | |
Bryan Ferry was also staying there. I knew him a little bit. | 0:12:06 | 0:12:10 | |
-Prince was there as well. -Wow. -This was a few years ago. | 0:12:10 | 0:12:13 | |
GRAHAM LAUGHS | 0:12:13 | 0:12:15 | |
Oh, ha-ha-ha, Prince is dead, yeah. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:17 | |
Glad you can see the funny side(!) | 0:12:17 | 0:12:19 | |
And Bryan said, "Would you like to come over and have dinner with Prince?" | 0:12:19 | 0:12:24 | |
I thought this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity | 0:12:24 | 0:12:26 | |
so I said, "Yes, of course." | 0:12:26 | 0:12:28 | |
It was a quite awkward conversation because Prince doesn't say | 0:12:28 | 0:12:32 | |
much and Bryan Ferry isn't that talkative either. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:35 | |
So we sat there with nothing much to say and Prince doesn't | 0:12:35 | 0:12:38 | |
ask any questions. He doesn't go, "Oh, what do you do?" | 0:12:38 | 0:12:40 | |
or say, "You're my favourite judge on Britain's Got Talent," | 0:12:40 | 0:12:43 | |
or anything like that. | 0:12:43 | 0:12:44 | |
There was a magazine there with a picture of Florence + the Machine | 0:12:44 | 0:12:47 | |
and I say, "Oh, do you know Florence + the Machine?" | 0:12:47 | 0:12:50 | |
They both say, "No, I don't know her." | 0:12:50 | 0:12:52 | |
I said, "She just did that brilliant cover of that dance song." | 0:12:52 | 0:12:55 | |
They were like, "Which dance song?" | 0:12:55 | 0:12:56 | |
"You know the one, You've Got The Love." | 0:12:56 | 0:12:58 | |
Prince said, "I don't know the song." | 0:12:58 | 0:13:01 | |
I went... # You got the love I need to see you through... | 0:13:01 | 0:13:06 | |
# Sometimes I feel like... # | 0:13:06 | 0:13:08 | |
I'm singing to Prince and Bryan Ferry! | 0:13:08 | 0:13:12 | |
The most embarrassing moment of my life! | 0:13:12 | 0:13:14 | |
They're just looking at me blankly, like I'm mad and I've made up this song. | 0:13:14 | 0:13:18 | |
It was horrible. When Prince left, it was an amazing sense of relief. | 0:13:18 | 0:13:23 | |
You meet somebody really, really famous and you just | 0:13:23 | 0:13:26 | |
desperately want it to end. | 0:13:26 | 0:13:28 | |
You can say you've met them but you want it to be over. | 0:13:28 | 0:13:31 | |
-It was horrible. -I had that with P. Diddy. | 0:13:31 | 0:13:35 | |
I went over to say hello to P. Diddy and Jay Z was there and | 0:13:35 | 0:13:39 | |
-Leonardo DiCaprio was sat... -All right, you've dropped enough names. | 0:13:39 | 0:13:43 | |
OK! I think people thought Prince and Bryan Ferry was good. | 0:13:43 | 0:13:47 | |
We don't need to hear about other people who were in the room. | 0:13:47 | 0:13:51 | |
-All right, I digress. -Keep to the people the story is about. | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
So I went over, I was trying to think who was the easy target | 0:13:54 | 0:13:59 | |
in this scenario, who's the one you go to to say hello? | 0:13:59 | 0:14:02 | |
I'm thinking, I saw him in Get Him To The Greek, | 0:14:02 | 0:14:04 | |
so I'm going to go over there and say hello to him. | 0:14:04 | 0:14:07 | |
So I thought P. Diddy. | 0:14:07 | 0:14:08 | |
I went to shake his hand and I was like, "Nice to meet you." | 0:14:08 | 0:14:11 | |
He just goes, "Huh huh huh huh." | 0:14:11 | 0:14:13 | |
But the longest handshake ever. | 0:14:13 | 0:14:15 | |
I'm like sat there, looking in P. Diddy's eyes, like, | 0:14:15 | 0:14:17 | |
"When is this going to end?" | 0:14:17 | 0:14:18 | |
Then the worst thing that happened, | 0:14:18 | 0:14:20 | |
there was the whole thing with Jay Z, and I went to lean in to | 0:14:20 | 0:14:24 | |
speak to him but you can't lean in to speak to Jay Z, | 0:14:24 | 0:14:28 | |
you're not allowed to lean in. | 0:14:28 | 0:14:29 | |
And his bodyguard just like shook me | 0:14:29 | 0:14:31 | |
like this and I went flying across the room. | 0:14:31 | 0:14:34 | |
I was like, "I'll just go and sit over here with Ellie Goulding now." | 0:14:34 | 0:14:37 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:14:37 | 0:14:39 | |
That was a very awkward moment. | 0:14:39 | 0:14:41 | |
It that's weird that people kind of live like that. It's absurd. | 0:14:41 | 0:14:45 | |
I have to say Prince, I know that sometimes he was quite... | 0:14:45 | 0:14:50 | |
I was very good friends with Prince. | 0:14:50 | 0:14:53 | |
-He was one of my closest. -Now, David... | 0:14:53 | 0:14:56 | |
-Now! -My one dinner is meaningless now. -No! | 0:14:56 | 0:15:00 | |
There is something. He was so funny. | 0:15:00 | 0:15:03 | |
Not that night! | 0:15:03 | 0:15:05 | |
-I'm so sorry. -APPLAUSE | 0:15:05 | 0:15:08 | |
Not cracking jokes that night, I'll be honest with you. | 0:15:08 | 0:15:11 | |
I'm so sorry... But he didn't crack jokes, but he had a strange sense of humour. | 0:15:11 | 0:15:15 | |
You know like, we'd go somewhere and he'd say things like... | 0:15:15 | 0:15:19 | |
I was going for the food, | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
like I always do and try to get something and he'd be very | 0:15:22 | 0:15:26 | |
serious, like this, and he would go, | 0:15:26 | 0:15:28 | |
"Hold my hands, sister, stay away from the buffet." | 0:15:28 | 0:15:32 | |
-That's good advice. -I would laugh because he's right. | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
-I'm stealing that, that's funny. -Let me say something, he was so funny. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:41 | |
I'm so sorry you didn't get to meet him. | 0:15:41 | 0:15:44 | |
Well, I did get to... | 0:15:44 | 0:15:46 | |
But where we went, it wasn't a buffet, | 0:15:46 | 0:15:48 | |
it was a sit-down dinner. | 0:15:48 | 0:15:50 | |
You went to an all-you-can-eat buffet with Prince but... | 0:15:50 | 0:15:54 | |
This was quite a smart hotel, but thank you for your contribution. | 0:15:54 | 0:15:58 | |
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE | 0:15:58 | 0:16:01 | |
The other thing I wanted to say about this film is, | 0:16:03 | 0:16:07 | |
when was it written or when was it planned? | 0:16:07 | 0:16:10 | |
Because it seems so perfectly placed now. | 0:16:10 | 0:16:14 | |
It's very zeitgeisty, you know, that kind of Trumpian America. | 0:16:14 | 0:16:17 | |
John Lithgow's character is almost a version of Trump. | 0:16:17 | 0:16:20 | |
-Exactly. -Was that all planned? | 0:16:20 | 0:16:23 | |
No, the scary part is there are so many like him. | 0:16:23 | 0:16:26 | |
-Yes. -We were thinking about the dentist that killed the lion. -Yes. | 0:16:26 | 0:16:31 | |
And... So, it was before Trump. | 0:16:31 | 0:16:36 | |
But when we were shooting, he was campaigning. | 0:16:36 | 0:16:40 | |
But now, I won't ask you about your political opinions, | 0:16:40 | 0:16:43 | |
but we do have a picture that suggests... | 0:16:43 | 0:16:46 | |
You are not going to ask me because you already know. | 0:16:46 | 0:16:49 | |
We know! Here you are with a lovely pinata. | 0:16:49 | 0:16:53 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:16:53 | 0:16:54 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:16:54 | 0:16:57 | |
This is the Mexican style, you know. | 0:16:57 | 0:16:59 | |
The minute he starts talking about the Mexicans, | 0:16:59 | 0:17:02 | |
two days later we were selling pinatas like there's no tomorrow. | 0:17:02 | 0:17:06 | |
Somebody brought one to a party at my house. | 0:17:06 | 0:17:09 | |
The Mexicans lined up, worse than the little kids at a party. | 0:17:09 | 0:17:13 | |
The tragic thing was that the first person that went on it | 0:17:13 | 0:17:17 | |
killed it in two seconds because he was hitting it so hard. | 0:17:17 | 0:17:20 | |
Nobody else got to hit the pinata. | 0:17:20 | 0:17:23 | |
But some people were stepping on it on the floor. | 0:17:23 | 0:17:25 | |
-Have you met the real Donald Trump? -Oh, yeah. | 0:17:27 | 0:17:30 | |
-What was he like? -Strange. | 0:17:30 | 0:17:33 | |
It's like... I mean, | 0:17:35 | 0:17:37 | |
One thing you got to give it to him, like, he is what it is. | 0:17:37 | 0:17:40 | |
-Yes, he's not pretending. -He's not pretending. | 0:17:40 | 0:17:44 | |
-What you see is what you get, unfortunately. -Oh, my God. | 0:17:44 | 0:17:47 | |
-David, you haven't met him, have you? -No, I've not met him. | 0:17:48 | 0:17:52 | |
-But you did take the opportunity of dressing up as him. -Yeah. | 0:17:52 | 0:17:55 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
-That's better than the pinata. -Nice shave. -That was Halloween. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:01 | |
-Scary! -It was my Halloween costume, it was before he was president. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:06 | |
I thought, "Well, what's the biggest nightmarish figure | 0:18:06 | 0:18:10 | |
"in today's culture?" And I thought, "Donald Trump." | 0:18:10 | 0:18:13 | |
Not for a moment did we think he would actually become president. | 0:18:13 | 0:18:16 | |
You must have thought, "I'll do it this year, because next year it'll be old hat." | 0:18:16 | 0:18:20 | |
How long does it take to wash off afterwards, | 0:18:20 | 0:18:22 | |
just out of interest, because that's quite an amount of... | 0:18:22 | 0:18:24 | |
Three or four weeks. | 0:18:24 | 0:18:27 | |
This week Donald Trump has been on his first trip abroad as | 0:18:27 | 0:18:30 | |
president, so here's some pictures of him. Here he is in Saudi Arabia. | 0:18:30 | 0:18:35 | |
My God. | 0:18:35 | 0:18:37 | |
What's going on there? | 0:18:37 | 0:18:38 | |
Apparently, it's some sort of peace thing, | 0:18:38 | 0:18:40 | |
but it does look like a crystal ball, doesn't it? | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
I see impeachment, I see disgrace. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:46 | |
-What does he look like? A mystic Trump. -He's really scary. | 0:18:46 | 0:18:50 | |
-It's not really doing him any favours at all. -No. | 0:18:50 | 0:18:53 | |
He then went to Jerusalem where he visited the Western Wall and | 0:18:53 | 0:18:57 | |
placed a note inside. | 0:18:57 | 0:18:59 | |
Presumably a note to the wall builders, "Call me, I've got a job." | 0:18:59 | 0:19:03 | |
You know in that picture, | 0:19:08 | 0:19:10 | |
he can't even touch a wall appropriately, look at that. | 0:19:10 | 0:19:14 | |
-It does look sleazy. -Wall, wall. | 0:19:14 | 0:19:20 | |
By the way, if anyone is wondering what that unusual thing on | 0:19:20 | 0:19:23 | |
his head is, that's his hair! | 0:19:23 | 0:19:25 | |
This is my favourite picture from the trip. I'm sure you've seen it. | 0:19:28 | 0:19:31 | |
On Wednesday, Trump met the Pope. | 0:19:31 | 0:19:34 | |
That is a man thinking, "Take the picture!" | 0:19:36 | 0:19:41 | |
GRAHAM LAUGHS | 0:19:41 | 0:19:44 | |
And Melania, she looks like she's at a funeral. | 0:19:44 | 0:19:49 | |
She wishes! | 0:19:49 | 0:19:51 | |
Oh! | 0:19:57 | 0:19:59 | |
Did you see when Trump tried to hold Melania's hand? | 0:19:59 | 0:20:02 | |
-I know! -When they got off the plane? | 0:20:02 | 0:20:04 | |
-That was awkward, wasn't it? -She went like that! | 0:20:04 | 0:20:06 | |
I reckon I'll get that when I get in for telling the Bellagio story. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:10 | |
"Get off me! Get off me!" | 0:20:10 | 0:20:12 | |
Actually, talking of world leaders, | 0:20:14 | 0:20:16 | |
David recently noticed a resemblance | 0:20:16 | 0:20:18 | |
between yourself and another world leader? | 0:20:18 | 0:20:21 | |
Yes. Well, I saw a picture of our glorious leader, | 0:20:21 | 0:20:26 | |
Theresa May, and in youth, | 0:20:26 | 0:20:29 | |
I think she did actually look a lot like me. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:31 | |
-I think you've got the picture I put on Instagram. -We do. | 0:20:31 | 0:20:34 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:20:36 | 0:20:38 | |
That is shockingly close! | 0:20:43 | 0:20:45 | |
-It is, isn't it? -It's weird! | 0:20:45 | 0:20:48 | |
I could play her in a biopic. | 0:20:48 | 0:20:50 | |
You could! You could. | 0:20:50 | 0:20:52 | |
Now, David Walliams has a new book out. | 0:20:52 | 0:20:55 | |
-It's called The World's Worst Children 2. -Hmm. | 0:20:55 | 0:21:01 | |
There's actually a character in The World's Worst Children 2 | 0:21:01 | 0:21:04 | |
a little bit like Barron Trump, | 0:21:04 | 0:21:06 | |
because it's very spoiled American boy, | 0:21:06 | 0:21:08 | |
he's the son of a billionaire, | 0:21:08 | 0:21:10 | |
and he wanted it to be his birthday every day, | 0:21:10 | 0:21:13 | |
and every day he wants more and more presents, | 0:21:13 | 0:21:15 | |
and the cake gets bigger and bigger every day | 0:21:15 | 0:21:18 | |
-and he ends up drowning in his own birthday cake... -Ohh! | 0:21:18 | 0:21:20 | |
So they are like morality tales for children, | 0:21:20 | 0:21:23 | |
so be careful what you wish for. | 0:21:23 | 0:21:25 | |
-Don't eat too much cake? -It's not just don't eat too much cake, | 0:21:25 | 0:21:28 | |
it's a little more sophisticated than that! | 0:21:28 | 0:21:31 | |
I'm with you. That was my take away! | 0:21:31 | 0:21:34 | |
Don't eat too much cake. | 0:21:34 | 0:21:35 | |
I'll read it to you later. | 0:21:35 | 0:21:37 | |
I'll give you your bath(!) | 0:21:39 | 0:21:41 | |
Which I'm very happy to do. | 0:21:41 | 0:21:43 | |
Are your books... Cos some of your books | 0:21:43 | 0:21:45 | |
are for younger children. | 0:21:45 | 0:21:47 | |
This is sort of 6- to 12-year-olds. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:51 | |
This is a bit younger. | 0:21:51 | 0:21:52 | |
I go into lots of schools around the country. I do ask the kids, | 0:21:52 | 0:21:55 | |
"Are there any reluctant readers? | 0:21:55 | 0:21:58 | |
"Any kids who don't like books?" | 0:21:58 | 0:21:59 | |
And normally boys put up their hands. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
I say, "There's no shame in it. | 0:22:02 | 0:22:03 | |
"You just need to find the book that's for you." | 0:22:03 | 0:22:05 | |
And this book is really written with the reluctant reader in mind | 0:22:05 | 0:22:08 | |
because it's full of pictures, the emphasis is really on humour | 0:22:08 | 0:22:11 | |
and surrealism, and although there is a little bit of a message, | 0:22:11 | 0:22:16 | |
-like don't eat too much cake... -Yeah. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:18 | |
..it's meant to just be read for fun. | 0:22:19 | 0:22:22 | |
I would like to actually sign one for your daughter. | 0:22:22 | 0:22:24 | |
I was actually going to steal that one. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:27 | |
-Look, here we go! -Can I sign it? -Yes. | 0:22:27 | 0:22:29 | |
I saw where he was hiding it. | 0:22:29 | 0:22:31 | |
Here we go. | 0:22:31 | 0:22:32 | |
And someone told me your daughter's name was... | 0:22:32 | 0:22:35 | |
-Valentina. -Valentina. | 0:22:35 | 0:22:36 | |
-How old is Valentina? -Nine. | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
-Does she read? -Yes. -Does she read in English or... | 0:22:38 | 0:22:42 | |
Valentina - English, French and Spanish. | 0:22:43 | 0:22:46 | |
Oh... So properly... I know. Yeah. | 0:22:46 | 0:22:49 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:22:49 | 0:22:51 | |
-That's a lot! -I have a lot to learn, I think. | 0:22:51 | 0:22:53 | |
-Yeah. -There you go. -So do I. | 0:22:53 | 0:22:55 | |
£9.99. Thank you. | 0:22:55 | 0:22:57 | |
But Valentina could be IN that book? | 0:23:02 | 0:23:04 | |
-Oh, Valentina, yes. -Because she's quite a prankster. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:07 | |
-I could give you some stories. -Really? -Yes. -I'd like those, please. | 0:23:07 | 0:23:11 | |
-Because "prankster" is kind of a nice word for it. -Mm-hm. | 0:23:11 | 0:23:14 | |
-I mean, she's quite wild. -Ingenious, yes. She's ingenious. | 0:23:14 | 0:23:18 | |
Let's go with "ingenious". | 0:23:18 | 0:23:20 | |
I have another word in my head! | 0:23:20 | 0:23:21 | |
Her favourite person to prank is my father. | 0:23:21 | 0:23:26 | |
You know? | 0:23:26 | 0:23:27 | |
He comes from Mexico to visit her | 0:23:27 | 0:23:30 | |
and she gets so excited | 0:23:30 | 0:23:32 | |
she starts planning what she's going to do to him, | 0:23:32 | 0:23:35 | |
like, with days in advance. | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
For example, | 0:23:39 | 0:23:40 | |
she puts the worst kind of chilli, habanero, | 0:23:40 | 0:23:44 | |
she takes the toothbrush and rubs it on the chilli, you know? | 0:23:44 | 0:23:51 | |
"Prankster"(!) | 0:23:51 | 0:23:53 | |
-And puts it back... -I bet he finds it hilarious(!) | 0:23:53 | 0:23:56 | |
Do you know, the sad thing is, | 0:23:56 | 0:23:59 | |
my father, in the moment he gets angry and then he goes, | 0:23:59 | 0:24:03 | |
"That was so smart of her!" | 0:24:03 | 0:24:06 | |
He's so proud. | 0:24:06 | 0:24:09 | |
She uses the... Do you know the clear plastic one uses... | 0:24:09 | 0:24:14 | |
-Clingfilm. -Clingfilm. | 0:24:14 | 0:24:16 | |
Yes, for the leftovers. | 0:24:16 | 0:24:17 | |
She puts that on the toilet. | 0:24:17 | 0:24:19 | |
Hmm. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:21 | |
-You can have this one. -I'm getting a mental image. | 0:24:21 | 0:24:24 | |
That is a classic. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:25 | |
She folds it to perfection so you cannot actually see it. | 0:24:25 | 0:24:29 | |
Great eye for detail! Beautifully done. | 0:24:29 | 0:24:32 | |
The other thing... Maybe everyone knows this. | 0:24:33 | 0:24:36 | |
I know they sell well. | 0:24:36 | 0:24:38 | |
David's books, he's sold over 18 million books. 18 million! | 0:24:38 | 0:24:43 | |
GASPING | 0:24:43 | 0:24:46 | |
They've been turned into TV shows, | 0:24:47 | 0:24:50 | |
Gangsta Granny, that's going to the West End. | 0:24:50 | 0:24:53 | |
-Yes, this summer. -Gangsta Granny, maybe I can play that part. | 0:24:53 | 0:24:56 | |
You are far too beautiful! | 0:24:56 | 0:24:58 | |
That's good. That went well. | 0:24:58 | 0:25:00 | |
And your fans, because the fans of the books are children, | 0:25:02 | 0:25:05 | |
-are they still as brutal? -Oh, yeah. | 0:25:05 | 0:25:08 | |
We get a lot of brutal letters | 0:25:08 | 0:25:10 | |
because they like to point out any errors in the book, | 0:25:10 | 0:25:13 | |
maybe problems with the plot... | 0:25:13 | 0:25:15 | |
Valentina would be one of those. | 0:25:15 | 0:25:17 | |
-She'd be one of those children. -Yeah. | 0:25:17 | 0:25:19 | |
And then they're very honest in the way they write letters to you. | 0:25:19 | 0:25:24 | |
You posted a couple of the letters. | 0:25:24 | 0:25:27 | |
Here's the first. | 0:25:27 | 0:25:29 | |
"Dear David Walliams, you are my second favourite author. | 0:25:29 | 0:25:32 | |
"JK Rowling wins. I hope you like my drawings." | 0:25:32 | 0:25:36 | |
I'm sure you did like the drawings very much! | 0:25:36 | 0:25:39 | |
This next one you posted, I think this was on Instagram. I love this. | 0:25:39 | 0:25:42 | |
"Dear David Walliams, my name is Pearle. I am writing to you | 0:25:42 | 0:25:45 | |
"because you are my second favourite author. | 0:25:45 | 0:25:47 | |
"I really wanted to write to JK Rowling, but my teacher said not to | 0:25:47 | 0:25:50 | |
"as she obviously receives too many. | 0:25:50 | 0:25:53 | |
"So here I am writing to you on my tenth birthday." | 0:25:53 | 0:25:56 | |
It's just honest, isn't it? | 0:25:56 | 0:25:58 | |
The truth is, JK Rowling would be too busy! | 0:25:58 | 0:26:02 | |
But, me, I mean, I've got time on my hands! | 0:26:03 | 0:26:06 | |
-It's very sweet, though. -How did you feel when you read it? | 0:26:07 | 0:26:10 | |
I am actually reading it now. | 0:26:10 | 0:26:12 | |
I love it when they are funny, actually, | 0:26:12 | 0:26:16 | |
because they really, really stand out. | 0:26:16 | 0:26:18 | |
I had another good one, which was, this girl wrote, | 0:26:18 | 0:26:21 | |
"Can you come to our summer fair on 2nd June? | 0:26:21 | 0:26:26 | |
"Our teacher, Mrs Wilkins, | 0:26:26 | 0:26:28 | |
"said you can stay at her house for the night!" | 0:26:28 | 0:26:31 | |
If you say so! | 0:26:31 | 0:26:32 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
I don't want to put you off anyone on the couch | 0:26:38 | 0:26:40 | |
but there is a very large JK Rowling fan on the couch... | 0:26:40 | 0:26:44 | |
Liam. | 0:26:44 | 0:26:46 | |
-You are, though, aren't you? Proper? -Yes. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:48 | |
I do like Harry Potter, I will confess. | 0:26:48 | 0:26:50 | |
There's a very strong gaze happening right in front of me. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:53 | |
No, I think she's wonderful. | 0:26:53 | 0:26:55 | |
Here's Liam, I think it's your 22nd birthday? | 0:26:55 | 0:26:58 | |
-That's a cake? -Yes. | 0:26:58 | 0:27:00 | |
A cake of all of the Harry Potter books? | 0:27:00 | 0:27:03 | |
And you're not to eat too much cake. | 0:27:03 | 0:27:05 | |
-We learned that from David. -Oh, well done. | 0:27:05 | 0:27:07 | |
The important message you can take away from tonight's show! | 0:27:07 | 0:27:11 | |
Yeah. But you've got to think, | 0:27:11 | 0:27:13 | |
"Oh, that's kind of a funny thing to have done," | 0:27:13 | 0:27:15 | |
but you've gone a bit further at your home. | 0:27:15 | 0:27:19 | |
I can be a bit weird sometimes. | 0:27:19 | 0:27:21 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:27:21 | 0:27:22 | |
Why is that funny? | 0:27:22 | 0:27:24 | |
Yes. Well, I went through a Harry Potter phase, | 0:27:24 | 0:27:29 | |
I was watching Harry Potter a lot around the house... | 0:27:29 | 0:27:31 | |
-Why are you looking at me like that? -I'm just interested. | 0:27:31 | 0:27:34 | |
And so I bought one of the cars from the film, it's in my garden. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:39 | |
This is some sort of confessional now. | 0:27:40 | 0:27:43 | |
-A car? -That car... | 0:27:43 | 0:27:44 | |
Isn't it good? | 0:27:44 | 0:27:46 | |
Yeah. Is the original one? | 0:27:46 | 0:27:48 | |
No, it's not the original one, but I'd love to say that it was. | 0:27:48 | 0:27:50 | |
But I bought it off this guy who goes to conventions and stuff. | 0:27:50 | 0:27:53 | |
It's close. It's close. | 0:27:53 | 0:27:55 | |
And that's something Harry Potter-y up there, is it? | 0:27:55 | 0:27:58 | |
Yes, that a Hogwarts sign. | 0:27:58 | 0:28:00 | |
I'm really upping my cool points. | 0:28:00 | 0:28:02 | |
And what's that bit? That thing over there? | 0:28:02 | 0:28:05 | |
That's just a random garden gnome, actually. | 0:28:05 | 0:28:08 | |
My garden's great. You'd love it! | 0:28:09 | 0:28:11 | |
Listen, obviously, things are great for you right now. | 0:28:12 | 0:28:16 | |
-Fantastic. I'm on top of the world. -You've the new record, new baby. | 0:28:16 | 0:28:18 | |
And you and Cheryl are together. | 0:28:18 | 0:28:20 | |
But what's so odd - I don't know if you know this thing - | 0:28:20 | 0:28:23 | |
that Liam and Cheryl, we saw you meet? | 0:28:23 | 0:28:25 | |
You saw us meet. | 0:28:25 | 0:28:27 | |
We did, though, didn't we? | 0:28:27 | 0:28:28 | |
-You hadn't met before this? -Right, this is weird. | 0:28:28 | 0:28:31 | |
I'm going to be sleeping here tonight if we go into these details. | 0:28:31 | 0:28:33 | |
-You're not allowed to talk about this bit. -Oh, no. | 0:28:33 | 0:28:36 | |
Can we see the wink? Can we see the wink? | 0:28:36 | 0:28:38 | |
You can see the wink, I suppose. | 0:28:38 | 0:28:40 | |
-OK. So this is the first time... -Ignore the hair! | 0:28:40 | 0:28:43 | |
It was a different year! | 0:28:43 | 0:28:44 | |
This is the first time Liam ever met Cheryl. Here they are. | 0:28:44 | 0:28:49 | |
# Fly me to the moon | 0:28:49 | 0:28:51 | |
# Let me play among the stars | 0:28:51 | 0:28:55 | |
# And let me see what spring is like | 0:28:55 | 0:28:59 | |
# On...Jupiter and Mars | 0:28:59 | 0:29:03 | |
# In other words | 0:29:03 | 0:29:05 | |
# Baby, kiss me... # | 0:29:05 | 0:29:08 | |
-I think you are really cute. -Thanks. | 0:29:08 | 0:29:11 | |
I think you've got charisma, you give us that little cheeky wink. | 0:29:11 | 0:29:15 | |
-I think this kid could do fantastic in the show. -Yes. | 0:29:15 | 0:29:19 | |
Aw... That's amazing, isn't it? | 0:29:19 | 0:29:21 | |
He was actually winking at Louis Walsh! | 0:29:21 | 0:29:24 | |
APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH | 0:29:24 | 0:29:27 | |
I got a real... When I got back to school | 0:29:27 | 0:29:29 | |
and they played that, obviously, as you naturally laughed along as well, | 0:29:29 | 0:29:32 | |
I got a real ribbing for winking at Cheryl. | 0:29:32 | 0:29:35 | |
"You winked at her. What did you think you were doing?" | 0:29:35 | 0:29:38 | |
Some of my best friends gave me stick about that, as they do. | 0:29:38 | 0:29:42 | |
And then, come to my 23rd birthday party, and here we are together | 0:29:42 | 0:29:45 | |
and my friends are just mute in the corner! | 0:29:45 | 0:29:49 | |
"Why are we here? Where's the food?" | 0:29:49 | 0:29:52 | |
I have never seen my friends so quiet! | 0:29:52 | 0:29:56 | |
I winked at all of them. | 0:29:56 | 0:29:58 | |
I didn't really. I should have! | 0:29:58 | 0:29:59 | |
And now we've got a baby Bear, so it all makes perfect sense. | 0:29:59 | 0:30:03 | |
Do you notice how they keep promoting all your competitions? | 0:30:03 | 0:30:07 | |
-Harry Potter, the X Factor? -Hmm. I have noticed. | 0:30:07 | 0:30:10 | |
Yes. But you are... Are you friends with Simon Cowell or not? | 0:30:10 | 0:30:15 | |
-Yes! -You are? -Yes. As much as he can be friends with anybody! | 0:30:15 | 0:30:19 | |
A deeply strange man. | 0:30:19 | 0:30:22 | |
But you do annoy each other a lot. | 0:30:22 | 0:30:24 | |
We're very competitive with each other. | 0:30:24 | 0:30:26 | |
We're like competitive brothers who love and hate each other. | 0:30:26 | 0:30:30 | |
And he winds me up all the time when we're making the show. | 0:30:30 | 0:30:33 | |
He'll say something like, "David, have you got your phone there?" | 0:30:33 | 0:30:36 | |
I'll say yeah. "Have a look to see if Alesha | 0:30:36 | 0:30:39 | |
"has ever done any lingerie shoots." | 0:30:39 | 0:30:42 | |
"Why?" "David, you just need to do that for me. Thank you. | 0:30:42 | 0:30:45 | |
"I pay you a lot of money to look up if Alesha's..." | 0:30:45 | 0:30:47 | |
I look it up and find some pictures of her looking sexy. | 0:30:47 | 0:30:51 | |
He goes, "Alesha, David's looking at pictures of you in lingerie!" | 0:30:51 | 0:30:56 | |
It's the kind of stuff he does all the time. | 0:30:56 | 0:30:59 | |
But I get my own back because I know he loves animals. | 0:30:59 | 0:31:02 | |
Like Hitler loved animals. | 0:31:02 | 0:31:05 | |
I know he loves animals and I say to him, | 0:31:05 | 0:31:08 | |
"I've got a lovely, lovely picture of my dog Bert. | 0:31:08 | 0:31:11 | |
"Would you like to see it?" | 0:31:11 | 0:31:12 | |
And then I show him a rather unusual picture of Bert. | 0:31:12 | 0:31:15 | |
I think you sent us the picture. | 0:31:15 | 0:31:17 | |
This is the picture of Bert. | 0:31:17 | 0:31:19 | |
That's brilliant. | 0:31:21 | 0:31:23 | |
Now, talking of talented pets, | 0:31:26 | 0:31:29 | |
you had a parrot, didn't you, that could properly speak. | 0:31:29 | 0:31:34 | |
Yes. | 0:31:34 | 0:31:36 | |
-What was the name of the parrot? Pa... -Paco. | 0:31:36 | 0:31:38 | |
-Paco the parrot. -Paco was a bit of a prankster too. | 0:31:38 | 0:31:41 | |
So, what could it say? | 0:31:41 | 0:31:43 | |
Well, he would just start cursing. | 0:31:43 | 0:31:46 | |
Really, like... | 0:31:48 | 0:31:50 | |
If my parents had guests that they wanted to impress, | 0:31:50 | 0:31:53 | |
he kind of sensed it | 0:31:53 | 0:31:55 | |
and he'd just start saying the alphabet of cursing. | 0:31:55 | 0:32:00 | |
-Really loud, cos he was loud. -Who did he learn it from? | 0:32:00 | 0:32:03 | |
That's the real question. | 0:32:03 | 0:32:05 | |
I think we bought it like that! | 0:32:05 | 0:32:07 | |
And then one time we were all out | 0:32:08 | 0:32:11 | |
and my uncle came to the house, | 0:32:11 | 0:32:14 | |
he rang the bell and Paco would go, "We're coming!" | 0:32:14 | 0:32:19 | |
And my uncle is waiting, rang the bell again. | 0:32:19 | 0:32:24 | |
"I'm coming, I'm coming." | 0:32:26 | 0:32:29 | |
And he rings the bell. | 0:32:29 | 0:32:31 | |
"Wait, I'm coming!" | 0:32:31 | 0:32:33 | |
And after one hour, my uncle started doing all the cursing! | 0:32:33 | 0:32:36 | |
So that's where he got it from. | 0:32:36 | 0:32:39 | |
It probably was my uncle, yes. | 0:32:39 | 0:32:41 | |
He was there for two hours. | 0:32:41 | 0:32:43 | |
Where did the parrot learn, "I'm coming"? | 0:32:43 | 0:32:46 | |
That... | 0:32:48 | 0:32:49 | |
That's the best part of the story. | 0:32:49 | 0:32:51 | |
It shows it was a happy family! | 0:32:55 | 0:32:57 | |
A very happy parrot. | 0:32:57 | 0:32:59 | |
It's time to meet my final guests. | 0:32:59 | 0:33:01 | |
One is best known for The Inbetweeners | 0:33:01 | 0:33:03 | |
and the other brought us the US hit Gossip Girl, | 0:33:03 | 0:33:06 | |
and, together, they star in the new BBC Two comedy White Gold. | 0:33:06 | 0:33:09 | |
Please welcome James Buckley and Ed Westwick. | 0:33:09 | 0:33:12 | |
Ohh! | 0:33:13 | 0:33:15 | |
Oh! There they are! | 0:33:15 | 0:33:17 | |
Hello! Very nice to see you. | 0:33:17 | 0:33:20 | |
Hello. Good to see you. Lovely. | 0:33:20 | 0:33:23 | |
ALL TALK AT ONCE | 0:33:25 | 0:33:28 | |
OK. | 0:33:31 | 0:33:33 | |
CHEERING | 0:33:33 | 0:33:35 | |
Whoa! Much excitement, much excitement. | 0:33:35 | 0:33:38 | |
-Welcome both. -Thank you. | 0:33:38 | 0:33:40 | |
-Do you know everyone on the couch? -David, a little bit. | 0:33:40 | 0:33:43 | |
First time for these guys. Hello. | 0:33:43 | 0:33:46 | |
-I know you... -We've worked together, darling. | 0:33:46 | 0:33:49 | |
-You gave me a job. -It was an acting job. | 0:33:49 | 0:33:53 | |
-It was an acting job. -Oh... | 0:33:53 | 0:33:55 | |
Well, I was acting. | 0:33:58 | 0:34:00 | |
And I've come to see you boys a couple of times. | 0:34:02 | 0:34:05 | |
-Yeah, a few times. Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:34:05 | 0:34:06 | |
And, Ed, already - we've had this in the corridor - | 0:34:06 | 0:34:09 | |
people just think you're an American actor over here slumming it, | 0:34:09 | 0:34:13 | |
-but in fact... -I'm English, there you go! | 0:34:13 | 0:34:15 | |
-There you go! -That bemused me. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:17 | |
I thought you were American. | 0:34:17 | 0:34:19 | |
Now you're English, that's amazing. | 0:34:19 | 0:34:20 | |
Sorry to disappoint you. | 0:34:20 | 0:34:23 | |
Are you pleased or disappointed? | 0:34:23 | 0:34:25 | |
-DEEP VOICE: -I'm really happy about it, it's great. | 0:34:25 | 0:34:28 | |
I was a little bit worried he was going to be upset. | 0:34:28 | 0:34:31 | |
Obviously, we're all very happy you are working here in Britain. | 0:34:31 | 0:34:34 | |
How DID you get that job on Gossip Girl? | 0:34:34 | 0:34:37 | |
I was doing one of the jobs that James... | 0:34:37 | 0:34:39 | |
No, I... They do something called pilot season out in the States, | 0:34:41 | 0:34:44 | |
when they're putting together new TV shows and I went out there, | 0:34:44 | 0:34:47 | |
like many young actors do from all around the world, and auditioned. | 0:34:47 | 0:34:51 | |
It was one of many auditions and with a little bit of luck | 0:34:51 | 0:34:55 | |
and a little bit of whatever, I got the part. | 0:34:55 | 0:34:58 | |
-Well done. -He's back down to Earth. | 0:34:58 | 0:35:00 | |
Back down to Earth? Do you live here now? | 0:35:00 | 0:35:02 | |
Well, I'm back and forth. | 0:35:02 | 0:35:04 | |
You can be a big star over there but, face it, right now, | 0:35:04 | 0:35:07 | |
you're in a show with Jay from The Inbetweeners. | 0:35:07 | 0:35:10 | |
And I'm having a blast. | 0:35:11 | 0:35:13 | |
That show is White Gold, | 0:35:13 | 0:35:15 | |
it's on BBC Two, | 0:35:15 | 0:35:16 | |
Wednesdays at 10pm. | 0:35:16 | 0:35:18 | |
The whole series will be available on BBC iPlayer. | 0:35:18 | 0:35:20 | |
So, the first one out this week. Great response to the show. | 0:35:20 | 0:35:23 | |
You must be pleased. | 0:35:23 | 0:35:25 | |
It's set in 1983 in the world of plastic-double-glazing salesmen. | 0:35:25 | 0:35:30 | |
It's riveting. | 0:35:30 | 0:35:31 | |
-But it's sort of you reunited with Joe, Joe Thomas. -Yeah. | 0:35:32 | 0:35:38 | |
There's the two of you. | 0:35:38 | 0:35:39 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:35:39 | 0:35:41 | |
It is set in 1983, we established that! | 0:35:41 | 0:35:44 | |
And it's written by The Inbetweeners' creator. | 0:35:44 | 0:35:47 | |
-Yeah. -So, did the three of you work on this together? | 0:35:47 | 0:35:49 | |
Or how did it happen? | 0:35:49 | 0:35:51 | |
One of the co-writers of The Inbetweeners, Damon Beesley, | 0:35:51 | 0:35:54 | |
he's written and directed this, | 0:35:54 | 0:35:56 | |
and he told me about this idea ten years ago. | 0:35:56 | 0:36:00 | |
So that's sort of shows his work ethic, I think. | 0:36:00 | 0:36:04 | |
He mentioned it to me a long time ago, a decade, | 0:36:04 | 0:36:09 | |
I think it was a decade ago, | 0:36:09 | 0:36:11 | |
and we've just got round to doing it. | 0:36:11 | 0:36:13 | |
Was it weird for you coming into an environment where those three guys | 0:36:13 | 0:36:16 | |
knew each other so well? | 0:36:16 | 0:36:18 | |
I'm still in therapy for it, to be honest. | 0:36:18 | 0:36:21 | |
No, it was wonderful. Obviously, they had a great success | 0:36:21 | 0:36:23 | |
with The Inbetweeners, everybody loves it, it's hilarious, | 0:36:23 | 0:36:26 | |
and they've got a great bond, | 0:36:26 | 0:36:27 | |
and they've got that shorthand, Joe and James do. | 0:36:27 | 0:36:29 | |
It was good. I feel like I learned a fair bit. | 0:36:29 | 0:36:32 | |
What was it like with him coming into the mix? | 0:36:32 | 0:36:35 | |
Be careful. | 0:36:35 | 0:36:37 | |
I'll be honest. | 0:36:37 | 0:36:39 | |
It was... | 0:36:39 | 0:36:40 | |
See, Ed's a professional. He's good at what he does, | 0:36:40 | 0:36:44 | |
and he knows his lines and he knows where to stand. | 0:36:44 | 0:36:47 | |
He knows what direction the camera's facing, things like that, | 0:36:47 | 0:36:50 | |
and it just made us all look really bad. | 0:36:50 | 0:36:53 | |
I didn't appreciate it. | 0:36:53 | 0:36:54 | |
Me and Joe were there, we're trying to muck about all day, | 0:36:54 | 0:36:57 | |
and if you've got something to show for it at the end of the day, | 0:36:57 | 0:37:00 | |
then that's a bonus. Ed's there, and he's worried about the TV show. | 0:37:00 | 0:37:03 | |
"Oh, it's got to be good." | 0:37:03 | 0:37:05 | |
That's not why you get into this business, | 0:37:05 | 0:37:07 | |
You're doing it all wrong, you're working far too hard. | 0:37:07 | 0:37:11 | |
You don't do this job to work for a living. | 0:37:11 | 0:37:13 | |
We've got a clip of White Gold. | 0:37:13 | 0:37:16 | |
This is the three of you... | 0:37:16 | 0:37:18 | |
How do I put this? | 0:37:18 | 0:37:20 | |
It's the three of you discovering a 1980s sexual revolution, | 0:37:20 | 0:37:25 | |
-is that fair? -Yeah. -Yeah. | 0:37:25 | 0:37:28 | |
Enjoy. | 0:37:28 | 0:37:29 | |
Voila! | 0:37:31 | 0:37:32 | |
Have we broken down? | 0:37:32 | 0:37:34 | |
I think you've got the wrong address, postie. | 0:37:34 | 0:37:37 | |
Think again, boys, because tonight we're pioneers | 0:37:37 | 0:37:40 | |
witnessing the start of a whole new sexual movement. | 0:37:40 | 0:37:44 | |
Dogging. | 0:37:44 | 0:37:46 | |
What the fuck's dogging? | 0:37:46 | 0:37:48 | |
"Dogging is the combination of two revolutions - | 0:37:50 | 0:37:54 | |
"the motor vehicle revolution and the sexual revolution, | 0:37:54 | 0:37:58 | |
"making the ultimate form of sexual expression." | 0:37:58 | 0:38:01 | |
You sly old dog. | 0:38:01 | 0:38:04 | |
This has the potential to be interesting. | 0:38:04 | 0:38:06 | |
Are there people having sex in these cars? | 0:38:06 | 0:38:08 | |
-Yes, if that is all right with you, Lavender! -Whoo! | 0:38:08 | 0:38:11 | |
What are we doing? | 0:38:11 | 0:38:13 | |
It's out there. | 0:38:21 | 0:38:23 | |
There's a bit after that where it gets worse. | 0:38:23 | 0:38:26 | |
It becomes like an action scene! | 0:38:26 | 0:38:28 | |
No, no, honestly. | 0:38:29 | 0:38:31 | |
That scene really gets very funny. | 0:38:31 | 0:38:34 | |
Very quickly, very quickly, often, when people are coming on the show, | 0:38:36 | 0:38:39 | |
you know, a lot of celebrities have Twitter accounts | 0:38:39 | 0:38:42 | |
so you might check their Twitter feed to see what they have | 0:38:42 | 0:38:45 | |
been up to, in case it might provoke a question. | 0:38:45 | 0:38:49 | |
-We checked James's. -I don't use Twitter responsibly. | 0:38:49 | 0:38:53 | |
-You really don't. -I forget that people follow me on Twitter. | 0:38:53 | 0:38:56 | |
-This is what you tweeted just a few days ago. -Oh, God. | 0:38:56 | 0:38:58 | |
-Is that true? -Absolutely true. | 0:39:05 | 0:39:08 | |
It's absolutely true. | 0:39:08 | 0:39:10 | |
My parents were there, my sister was there, | 0:39:10 | 0:39:12 | |
her boyfriend was there. | 0:39:12 | 0:39:13 | |
I've only met him a handful of times. And what it was... | 0:39:13 | 0:39:18 | |
-Explain yourself! -..I was working at the time, | 0:39:18 | 0:39:21 | |
I was working on another TV show. Sorry, I've been cheating on you! | 0:39:21 | 0:39:24 | |
But there was... | 0:39:24 | 0:39:26 | |
I have to go away during the week, | 0:39:26 | 0:39:28 | |
and what was great was, I got to come home at the weekends | 0:39:28 | 0:39:31 | |
but for my boys, I've got two little boys, three and five, | 0:39:31 | 0:39:34 | |
and the Sunday came and I'd had to leave that night to go to work | 0:39:34 | 0:39:37 | |
for the next day, and my eldest son got really upset | 0:39:37 | 0:39:40 | |
and was like, "Are you going already?" | 0:39:40 | 0:39:42 | |
I was going, "Sorry, mate..." | 0:39:42 | 0:39:44 | |
Then I felt like I had a fart. | 0:39:44 | 0:39:47 | |
And I thought, "This will cheer him up, he'll love this." | 0:39:47 | 0:39:51 | |
I said, "Listen, I've got to go but come here | 0:39:51 | 0:39:53 | |
"and give me a big squeeze. Give me a big hug." | 0:39:53 | 0:39:56 | |
I was going to do that thing where, "Give me a big squeeze," | 0:39:56 | 0:39:58 | |
and I'm going to go, "Parp! | 0:39:58 | 0:40:00 | |
"Oh, you've squeezed me too hard." | 0:40:00 | 0:40:02 | |
That would be a great way to leave him. | 0:40:02 | 0:40:04 | |
It'd cheer him up. | 0:40:04 | 0:40:06 | |
He took a little bit longer to come to me to give me the cuddle | 0:40:06 | 0:40:10 | |
and I was losing the fart a little bit. | 0:40:10 | 0:40:13 | |
He's small, | 0:40:16 | 0:40:17 | |
so I was bent down... | 0:40:17 | 0:40:19 | |
I was in a position... | 0:40:19 | 0:40:21 | |
and I maybe just pushed a bit too hard. | 0:40:21 | 0:40:25 | |
We were all having a dinner because I was leaving to go to work, | 0:40:26 | 0:40:30 | |
cos there were so many people there, | 0:40:30 | 0:40:32 | |
I just had to say, "I've shit myself. | 0:40:32 | 0:40:35 | |
"I've got to go for an emergency shower." | 0:40:38 | 0:40:41 | |
But it happens. It happens, OK. | 0:40:43 | 0:40:45 | |
I don't mind talking about it. | 0:40:45 | 0:40:46 | |
It's about time someone came out and spoke about it. | 0:40:46 | 0:40:49 | |
This is the sort of thing | 0:40:49 | 0:40:51 | |
that I'd like to talk with Piers Morgan about. | 0:40:51 | 0:40:54 | |
These are the issues. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:56 | |
It's such a taboo subject. | 0:40:56 | 0:40:58 | |
I hate to say this but, Liam Payne, follow that! | 0:40:58 | 0:41:02 | |
Yes, it's time for you to give us that world exclusive. | 0:41:02 | 0:41:07 | |
Don't overreach yourself! | 0:41:07 | 0:41:09 | |
So if you want to go over and get ready. | 0:41:09 | 0:41:12 | |
We have dancers and all sorts. | 0:41:12 | 0:41:15 | |
So performing his solo single, Strip That Down, | 0:41:15 | 0:41:19 | |
it is Liam Payne! | 0:41:19 | 0:41:22 | |
# You know I've been seeking some time | 0:41:32 | 0:41:35 | |
# And I've been keeping to myself | 0:41:35 | 0:41:38 | |
# I had my eyes upon the prize | 0:41:38 | 0:41:40 | |
# Ain't watching anybody else | 0:41:40 | 0:41:42 | |
# But your love it hit me hard, girl | 0:41:42 | 0:41:45 | |
# Yeah, you're bad for my health | 0:41:45 | 0:41:47 | |
# I love the cards that I've been dealt | 0:41:47 | 0:41:49 | |
# Do you feel the same as well? | 0:41:49 | 0:41:51 | |
-# You know I used to be in 1D -Now I'm out free | 0:41:51 | 0:41:53 | |
-# People want me for one thing -That's not me | 0:41:53 | 0:41:56 | |
-# I'm not changing the way that I -Used to be | 0:41:56 | 0:41:58 | |
-# I just want to have fun and -Get rowdy | 0:41:58 | 0:42:00 | |
-# One Coke and Bacardi -Sipping lightly | 0:42:00 | 0:42:02 | |
-# When I walk inside a party -Girls on me | 0:42:02 | 0:42:04 | |
-# F1-type Ferrari -Six-gear speed | 0:42:04 | 0:42:07 | |
-# Girl, I love it when your body -Grinds on me | 0:42:07 | 0:42:09 | |
# Baby, you know I love it when the music's loud | 0:42:09 | 0:42:12 | |
# But come on, strip that down for me | 0:42:12 | 0:42:14 | |
# Baby, there's a lot of people in the crowd | 0:42:14 | 0:42:16 | |
# But only you can dance with me | 0:42:16 | 0:42:18 | |
# So put your hands on my body and swing that round for me | 0:42:18 | 0:42:23 | |
# Baby, you know I love it when the music's loud | 0:42:23 | 0:42:25 | |
# But come on, strip that down for me | 0:42:25 | 0:42:28 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:42:28 | 0:42:29 | |
# Strip that down, girl Love when you hit the ground, girl | 0:42:29 | 0:42:32 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:42:32 | 0:42:33 | |
# Strip that down, girl Love when you hit the ground | 0:42:33 | 0:42:36 | |
# You know that since the day I met you, yeah | 0:42:36 | 0:42:39 | |
# You swept me off my feet | 0:42:39 | 0:42:41 | |
# You know that I don't need no money | 0:42:41 | 0:42:43 | |
# When your love is beside me | 0:42:43 | 0:42:45 | |
# Yeah, you opened up my heart | 0:42:45 | 0:42:47 | |
# And then you threw away the key | 0:42:47 | 0:42:50 | |
# Girl, now it's just you and me | 0:42:50 | 0:42:52 | |
# And you don't care about where I've been | 0:42:52 | 0:42:54 | |
-# See, I used to be in 1D -Now I'm out free | 0:42:54 | 0:42:56 | |
-# People want me for one thing -That's not me | 0:42:56 | 0:42:59 | |
-# I'm not changing the way that I -Used to be | 0:42:59 | 0:43:01 | |
-# I just want to have fun and -Get rowdy | 0:43:01 | 0:43:03 | |
-# One Coke and Bacardi -Sipping lightly | 0:43:03 | 0:43:06 | |
-# When I walk inside a party -Girls on me | 0:43:06 | 0:43:08 | |
-# F1-type Ferrari -Six-gear speed | 0:43:08 | 0:43:10 | |
-# Girl, I love it when your body -Grinds on me | 0:43:10 | 0:43:13 | |
# Baby, you know I love it when the music's loud | 0:43:13 | 0:43:15 | |
# But come on, strip that down for me | 0:43:15 | 0:43:17 | |
# Baby, there's a lot of people in the crowd | 0:43:17 | 0:43:20 | |
# But only you can dance with me | 0:43:20 | 0:43:22 | |
# So put your hands on my body and swing that round for me | 0:43:22 | 0:43:26 | |
# Baby, you know I love it when the music's loud | 0:43:26 | 0:43:29 | |
# But come on, strip that down for me | 0:43:29 | 0:43:31 | |
-# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah -Strip that down, girl | 0:43:31 | 0:43:34 | |
# Love when you hit the ground, girl | 0:43:34 | 0:43:36 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:43:36 | 0:43:37 | |
# Oh, strip that down, girl | 0:43:37 | 0:43:39 | |
# Love when you hit the ground | 0:43:39 | 0:43:41 | |
# Strip that down, girl | 0:43:41 | 0:43:43 | |
# Love when you hit the ground, girl | 0:43:43 | 0:43:44 | |
# Come on, strip that down | 0:43:44 | 0:43:47 | |
# Love when you hit the ground | 0:43:47 | 0:43:50 | |
# Baby, you know I love it when the music's loud | 0:43:50 | 0:43:52 | |
# But come on, strip that down for me | 0:43:52 | 0:43:54 | |
# Baby, there's a lot of people in the crowd | 0:43:54 | 0:43:56 | |
# But only you can dance with me | 0:43:56 | 0:43:58 | |
# So put your hands on my body and swing that round for me | 0:43:58 | 0:44:02 | |
# Yeah | 0:44:02 | 0:44:03 | |
# You know I love it when the music's loud | 0:44:03 | 0:44:05 | |
# But come on, strip that down for me | 0:44:05 | 0:44:07 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:44:07 | 0:44:09 | |
# Come on, strip that down for me | 0:44:09 | 0:44:11 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:44:11 | 0:44:13 | |
# Don't say nothing Just strip that down for me | 0:44:13 | 0:44:16 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:44:16 | 0:44:17 | |
# All I want, girl If you strip that down for me | 0:44:17 | 0:44:20 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah | 0:44:20 | 0:44:22 | |
# You're the one, girl Come on, strip that down for me | 0:44:22 | 0:44:25 | |
# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... # | 0:44:25 | 0:44:27 | |
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:44:27 | 0:44:30 | |
-Wowser. -Thank you. | 0:44:30 | 0:44:32 | |
Whoo! | 0:44:32 | 0:44:33 | |
Liam Payne, everybody! | 0:44:33 | 0:44:35 | |
Great job. Come on back. | 0:44:35 | 0:44:38 | |
What about the dancers as well? | 0:44:38 | 0:44:40 | |
Great dancers! | 0:44:40 | 0:44:42 | |
Well done. Congratulations. Come and grab a seat again. | 0:44:42 | 0:44:45 | |
That was good, right? Wow. Wow! | 0:44:45 | 0:44:48 | |
That was fantastic. | 0:44:48 | 0:44:50 | |
Did that feel good? | 0:44:50 | 0:44:52 | |
Yeah. It's nice to be back on stage again, thank you so much! | 0:44:52 | 0:44:55 | |
You guys are beautiful. Thank you. | 0:44:55 | 0:44:57 | |
It is a very different experience for me, | 0:44:57 | 0:45:00 | |
cos I have never done any of that dancing stuff. | 0:45:00 | 0:45:03 | |
We call it "movement" so as not to scare me! | 0:45:03 | 0:45:06 | |
I enjoy it. It's good fun. | 0:45:06 | 0:45:07 | |
Great performance. | 0:45:07 | 0:45:09 | |
-And, yeah, congratulations. -Thank you. | 0:45:09 | 0:45:11 | |
Presumably that new single, is there an album to come? | 0:45:11 | 0:45:14 | |
Yeah. I've been making an album for a year now, | 0:45:14 | 0:45:17 | |
so I have a lot of different singles and stuff to come out yet. | 0:45:17 | 0:45:20 | |
You'll drop something at some point? | 0:45:20 | 0:45:22 | |
Oh, I do hope so! | 0:45:22 | 0:45:24 | |
Just be careful you don't push too hard! | 0:45:25 | 0:45:28 | |
Don't do that. Don't do that. | 0:45:28 | 0:45:30 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:45:30 | 0:45:33 | |
That's nearly it, but before we go, | 0:45:33 | 0:45:34 | |
just time for a visit to the big red chair. | 0:45:34 | 0:45:36 | |
-Who's there? Hello. -How are you doing? | 0:45:36 | 0:45:38 | |
I'm very well. Thanks for asking. | 0:45:38 | 0:45:40 | |
-What's your name? NEW ZEALAND ACCENT: -Matt. | 0:45:40 | 0:45:42 | |
-Matt? -Yeah. -Matt? -Matt. | 0:45:42 | 0:45:44 | |
Are you by any chance from New Zealand? | 0:45:44 | 0:45:48 | |
-Yeah. -Yes, I thought so. | 0:45:48 | 0:45:50 | |
CHEERING | 0:45:50 | 0:45:52 | |
Off you go with your story, MITT. | 0:45:52 | 0:45:55 | |
LAUGHTER | 0:45:55 | 0:45:57 | |
A few years ago, me and my cousin | 0:45:57 | 0:45:59 | |
were on the way to the rugby sevens in Wellington, | 0:45:59 | 0:46:01 | |
and we were dressed as bananas. | 0:46:01 | 0:46:03 | |
-What?! -Can I just interrupt you for one second? | 0:46:05 | 0:46:08 | |
Sorry, Salma. They were going to see the rugby, | 0:46:08 | 0:46:11 | |
and they were both dressed as bananas. | 0:46:11 | 0:46:13 | |
-I did hear that part! -OK. | 0:46:13 | 0:46:16 | |
You thought you didn't understand! | 0:46:16 | 0:46:18 | |
-BOTH: -"They were drinking bananas?!" | 0:46:18 | 0:46:21 | |
They were dressed as bananas. | 0:46:21 | 0:46:24 | |
Obviously(!) | 0:46:24 | 0:46:26 | |
Sorry, MITT. | 0:46:26 | 0:46:27 | |
We decided to stop on the side of a hill for a piss | 0:46:27 | 0:46:30 | |
and it all went reasonably well | 0:46:30 | 0:46:32 | |
and then Chris's need to piss pretty quickly turned into | 0:46:32 | 0:46:36 | |
the need to shit, so he crouched down. | 0:46:36 | 0:46:40 | |
That all went OK. | 0:46:40 | 0:46:42 | |
It only went downhill when he decided to stand up, | 0:46:42 | 0:46:45 | |
slipped over, quite ironically in a banana costume, | 0:46:45 | 0:46:47 | |
rolled down the hill, knocked himself out on a tree. | 0:46:47 | 0:46:51 | |
I ran down to try and save him, | 0:46:51 | 0:46:53 | |
slipped over on what he had just done, | 0:46:53 | 0:46:55 | |
we both ended up down the bottom of the hill covered up in all sorts, | 0:46:55 | 0:46:59 | |
and ended up in hospital with his brother there waiting for us. | 0:46:59 | 0:47:03 | |
Me and him got kicked out of the hospital | 0:47:03 | 0:47:05 | |
because we thought we'd take it into our own hands to fix him | 0:47:05 | 0:47:08 | |
because the doctors were taking too long. | 0:47:08 | 0:47:10 | |
So we got kicked out, went back to town, had a good night, | 0:47:10 | 0:47:13 | |
and about three hours later we see Chris walking down the high street | 0:47:13 | 0:47:16 | |
in his hospital gown, discharged himself! | 0:47:16 | 0:47:19 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:47:19 | 0:47:22 | |
You can walk! | 0:47:22 | 0:47:24 | |
Yeah, go, go. | 0:47:24 | 0:47:25 | |
I have never been to New Zealand but I so want to go! | 0:47:28 | 0:47:30 | |
I didn't understand anything. | 0:47:30 | 0:47:32 | |
I understood "banana", "shit", "crack", "hospital". | 0:47:32 | 0:47:37 | |
It was too long! | 0:47:37 | 0:47:39 | |
That's all I understood. | 0:47:39 | 0:47:42 | |
Well done. | 0:47:42 | 0:47:43 | |
If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in that chair, | 0:47:43 | 0:47:47 | |
you can contact us via our website at this very address. | 0:47:47 | 0:47:50 | |
That is it for tonight. Please say thank you to my guests - | 0:47:50 | 0:47:52 | |
Mr Liam Payne, | 0:47:52 | 0:47:54 | |
David Walliams, | 0:47:54 | 0:47:57 | |
James Buckley, | 0:47:57 | 0:47:59 | |
Ed Westwick, | 0:47:59 | 0:48:01 | |
and Salma Hayek. | 0:48:01 | 0:48:03 | |
Do join me next week with singer-songwriter Beth Ditto, | 0:48:05 | 0:48:09 | |
Baywatch's Zac Efron, actress Annabelle Wallis | 0:48:09 | 0:48:12 | |
and her co-star in The Mummy - | 0:48:12 | 0:48:14 | |
the one and only Tom Cruise! I'll see you then! Goodbye! | 0:48:14 | 0:48:17 |