Episode 11 The Graham Norton Show

Evening! This is Mark Hamill saying, welcome to the Graham Norton Show!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

This programme contains some strong language

Oh!

Oh, lovely to see you.

Lovely to see you. Hi, hi. Hi, hi, yeah.

Hello, you're all very welcome.

Thank you. What a lovely welcome.

Wow, we should do this again! Great show tonight.

Yes, Luke Skywalker himself,

Mark Hamill, is here for the first time.

There he is.

Do you know, there's something about that beard

that makes him look so dignified and handsome.

Mark is here with other members of the cast

of the new Star Wars movie, The Last Jedi, ladies and gentlemen.

AUDIENCE: Woo!

Sofa, packed it will be.

Hasn't it been cold this week?

I said cold, cold! It has been cold.

In this weather, it's a good idea to check on the old and infirm

to make sure they're OK.

Thanks for asking, I'm fine.

A lot of people have been out building snowmen.

And some of them really love Star Wars.

Look at the detail in that.

Little BB-8 made out of snow.

Although, some people have been messing about with snowmen,

putting the carrot in an inappropriate place.

Come on, guys, if 2017 has taught us anything,

you mustn't put your carrot in an inappropriate place.

I don't know why they bother.

If you want to see something round and stupid with an orange willy,

just turn the news on.

Let's get some guests on!

Later we'll have music and a chat from singer-songwriter,

Mr Sam Smith will be here!

He'll be performing his number one hit, Too Good At Goodbyes.

But let's meet the stars of The Last Jedi.

She's the breakout British star of Game of Thrones

and Top of the Lake, please welcome Gwendoline Christie!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Hello!

In you go, Gwendoline Christie!

He's your favourite Stormtrooper turned hero,

and one of our fastest-rising stars, it's John Boyega!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Very nice to meet you. Have a seat.

She stepped off the Orient Express to board the Millennium Falcon,

reprising her role as Rey, please welcome Daisy Ridley!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

She glimmers, she shimmers.

Oh, what a star.

And he's the man who started it all, 40 years ago,

now Luke Skywalker's back to save the galaxy.

It's a great pleasure to welcome for the first time, Mr Mark Hamill!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

So nice to see you.

Shove up a bit. Shove up.

There you go. Into the zone, into the zone.

-Lovely to see you all. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

-Thank you.

-This week you had the big London premiere.

-Yes.

-You were all there.

-You all got to meet Royalty?

-Yeah.

I said, after, you know, Your Royal Highness, and doing all that.

I said, "Can you settle this for me?

"My mother was Queen Amidala. My father was Lord Vader.

"My sister is Princess Leia,

"doesn't that make me royalty?"

I was hoping that they would agree.

William said, "Well, absolutely. I think that should make you royalty."

Harry said, "I think I need more information."

Here's the thing, they're in the movie.

Are you allowed to tell us which stormtroopers they are?

You have to compare with body type and figure it out.

I only had one question for Harry when I met him,

was whether he was going to have Nigerian catering at the wedding.

I hadn't met them before

and I also hadn't realised my dress was slightly sheer.

I was almost naked when I met royalty for the first time.

Were they very good with eyes?

They really kept the gaze up.

And the party was in their house.

In Kensington Palace.

-Is that their house?

-I don't know.

Because they talk about the cottage.

I'm like, is it a cottage?

That bit we know it's not true.

Is there a function room, how does it work?

You walk past like a mess, where people... It's like a canteen.

I thought, is that where we're going?

They had a lovely thing upstairs.

Was that a red throne room place with a...

I wanted to pose for photographs and was dragged away by someone.

Yeah, same!

Oh, that was your feet!

I had to resist the urge to nick an ashtray as a souvenir.

I think they leave things out for people to steal.

-Yes.

-Yes.

We're coming across as so broke right now.

It's the big premiere.

The Boyega clan were out in force.

-Absolutely, man. You bagged extra tickets.

-Aw, the babies!

-This is your nephew.

-Yes, little JJ.

-He's not called JJ after JJ Abrams?

-No, no, no.

I thought it might have been a nod.

He is named after Jar-Jar.

APPLAUSE

Did you bring everyone to Kensington Palace?

-No, everyone came down to the Palace as well.

-Woohoo!

As soon as 30 minutes in, my dad was like, "Where is the proper food?"

We had to leave real quick.

Gwendoline, even if you weren't in these films,

you would be at that premiere.

You are a proper Star Wars fan?

I have been a Star Wars fan since I was six years old.

I've really done my best to keep away from you, Mark,

not to bother and harass you.

How amazing that then you were in the Star Wars thing

but also Game of Thrones.

APPLAUSE

When those people at premieres see you, Game of Thrones and Star Wars,

they must have felt like a nerdgasm?

I think that's what it's called.

Only occasionally there's an emission.

Eww!

Oh, my God!

This is it, ladies and gentlemen. Episode VIII of the Star Wars saga,

The Last Jedi. It's now open everywhere.

Before we talk about it, let's have a little look, a taste of the movie.

Let the past die.

Kill it.

If you have to.

That's the only way to become what you're meant to be.

CHEWBACCA ROARS

PORG SCREECHES

We have a spark that will light the fire

that will burn the First Order down.

Come on!

This is not going to go

the way you think.

Fulfil...

..your destiny!

Ooh!

APPLAUSE

Very good.

I mean, I was saying, Star Wars is review proof,

but wow, these reviews have been amazing. And it is, it's great.

You must be delighted with it, all of you.

It's funny being in it but still being able to watch the trailers

and get the same goose bumps because it is Star Wars.

Like Mark, we still get to find some sense of detachment to it,

-it hasn't been so long for us.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Experiencing that, it just gives you the goose bumps, man.

Mark, please reassure everyone

you are in this film more than in the last one?

I can assure you all in this movie my part is twice as big.

Two pages!

I appear and I turned the page and it said, "The end."

I went, "What?!"

Why did they train me for a year?

Did you they make you train for a year for that?

Oh, yeah. I went twice a week.

I actually drove to the gym,

Carrie had the equipment installed in her house.

There were numerous times when she'd come to the door and say,

"Oh, is it today? I'm not in the mood."

I rearranged my whole schedule.

Never late. Never missed a session.

It was probably smart of them

because if JJ had told me what my participation was,

I probably wouldn't have been motivated to stay on

the "if it tastes good, don't eat it" diet.

I could have been the size of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now,

in those robes nobody would know.

We find you on the Irish crag.

It's Skellig Michael, is it Skellig Michael?

Skellig Michael off the coast of Ireland.

WHOOP FROM CROWD

It is like a big ad for Irish tourism.

-Oh, yeah.

-It looks fabulous, it really does.

Daisy, you were there to find him?

-I was.

-Yes.

-Or Rey was.

Imagine if you had just been living there and I was like, "Mark!"

When I first read the script, since I was only in it for 20 seconds,

I said, "This will be green screen."

I'll just go up the road to JJ's studio in Santa Monica

and I'll be done by lunchtime.

Little did I know, cos Skellig Michael, boy, you climb...

There's over 600 steps.

I asked, "How long are you giving the crew to get up there?"

They said, "About 45 minutes." I said, "Give me an hour-and-a-half."

I had to rest every 15 minutes. It was brutal.

-A big part of the movie is the Jedi training.

-Right.

It kind of harks back to when you got your Jedi training from Yoda.

There you are. You recreated that with Daisy.

-We did.

-It went quite viral.

Here you are.

Strong legs, Daisy Ridley.

Oh, yeah! I've been working out a lot.

And also Mark too.

One of the things, fans will really like the porgs

-which live on your island.

-That's right.

Oh, look at the porg!

Is it true, these got you in trouble with Disney, Mark?

A little bit. There was a picture of Luke surrounded by porgs.

I just reposted the picture with the hashtag, wholesome porgnography.

Disney said, "Don't do that.

"A little close to adult humour there."

I don't think you deleted it, though.

It's because the cape is open.

Porgnography!

Neighbourhood flasher!

But the fans have gone big on the porgs.

They found those images of the porgs, they like them.

They have already imagined porgs in other films. Spin-offs.

There is the classic...

Oh, my God!

That's good.

What else have they put them in? Alien.

And, oh, beautiful, this.

Titanic.

-Wow.

-It's not just movies.

They've also imagined them appearing in art.

-That's amazing!

-Nice.

And even politics, ladies and gentlemen.

-APPLAUSE

-Please.

John, did you worry at the end of the last film?

You knew were coming back, cos you signed for three, right?

Have you?

Haven't you?

-We can't...

-Oh, no, the rumours are going to start.

-Oh, man...

Now you're starting a rumour that you're not in the next film.

-Exactly!

-Yes...

See Star Wars.

-It's such an amazing film.

-Renegotiation,

right here before your very eyes.

You must have been worried at the end of the first one, thinking,

"In a coma... I wonder how much I will have in the next film."

Yeah. To be honest, when that slash went up my back,

they added extra leather pieces flying around.

I saw a bit of blood and I was like,

"Wow, that mortgage is not getting paid.

-But I'm back.

-You are very much back.

One of the things we saw in the clip there,

Finn and Captain Phasma, you get into it.

-You have a big fight.

-Mm-hm.

You have been saying how, I guess it's ying and yang.

-You were in the outfit, which must make it harder.

-It's not ideal.

Not ideal to even move really in the outfit, let alone fight John.

If you see what she was doing and the training, she was ferocious.

I was like, "Can she actually see?"

Every time I was swinging at her, I was just doing...

You've got to fight ahead as though you can see. Just lashing out.

You've got Muhammad Ali reach. I felt the air on some of them.

My word, the strength, there was a moment of contact.

The power with which John met me with, I will never forget.

-That was...

-A powerful moment.

-..me trying to save my own life.

I would say, if I was a betting man,

in that fight, I would put money on Gwendoline.

-You do have the advantage.

-We kind of talked about this.

I have a higher centre of gravity. That's not an advantage.

I've got a contract on my side!

APPLAUSE

Can you do a face-off for us? Do a face-off.

The start of the match.

-It only works if you stand.

-Stand.

I'm just warming up my knees.

Don't do tippy-toes again.

Here we go, here we go.

That is impressive.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

One of the things you have got to deal with in these sort of things

is that intense secrecy about the plot details.

John, I heard you were on Radio 1 saying you cannot

keep all the secrets yourself.

No. Yeah, you can't, especially now on the second film,

you've got to have at least one person you tell everything to.

-So you tell everything to one person.

-Absolutely.

-Who did you pick?

-My roommate, Stefan.

-I tell him everything.

-But now everyone knows that he knows.

I am not giving you the second name, though, am I?

He lives in your house!

It's like Fort Knox.

Daisy, I imagine you are like a sphinx, you don't crack.

-Inscrutable.

-I can't keep my own secrets, terrible,

but those of other people, fantastic.

People do often tell me things about themselves,

without me asking, and someone said it's because I have a big face,

I look honest.

Seriously!

Other people's secrets I can keep no sweat.

Is one of the reasons you can keep the secret because

you don't really know the plot?

I mean...

I was surprised by this film, yeah.

I'd read it and then I put it away

and I did my bit and I went to the set a couple of times,

but otherwise, you know, I went home!

Gwendoline, again, it's this double whammy.

It's so weird because why would fans want to know

-what's going to happen, and yet they have to know.

-Yeah.

You've had quite extreme things, particularly Game Of Thrones.

Yeah, that was really extreme.

I was having root canal surgery

and I was in the chair at the dentist

and there was a clamp holding my mouth open

and I had the bib and all the lovely plastic things around there

and I was reclined back in the chair, feeling, you know,

it wasn't an ideal situation, really,

and the dentist left the room.

I am lying there with the mouth open

and the dental nurse hits me on the thigh and says,

"Now tell me what happens in Game of Thrones!"

She literally had me where she wanted me.

She wasn't going to let me go.

She said, "What is it like being naked with Jaime Lannister,

"is it sexy? Tell me it's sexy!"

I'm just gargling, trying to breathe.

Mark Hamill, you had the grandaddy.

You had, I mean, one of the biggest secrets in cinema history,

that Darth Vader was your father.

Spoiler alert!

Kids are just on Episode Two. "What?!"

So how long did you have to keep that secret?

Well, the contrast was when we did Star Wars, nobody cared.

You know, I read it and I gave it to my friend to read.

I said, "This is the goofiest thing I've ever read."

He called and he said, "You're right, it is goofy.

"Can I give it to Meredith?" I said, "Sure!" I passed it all around.

Nobody cared.

-By the second film, that's when the scrutiny became more intense.

-Yeah.

There was a wonderful substitute revelation.

In that scene, the way we filmed it, Vader said,

"You don't know the truth, Obi-Wan killed your father."

And the idea of Alec Guinness being the real villain,

I thought, "Wow, what a spectacular twist."

And it's just as you see in the film,

"No! Search your feelings, you know it's true."

Wallop, the hand goes off.

So vivid, it's so vivid.

The director, Irvin Kershner, took me aside.

He came to my dressing room actually and he said,

"I'm going to tell you something.

"I know it, George Lucas knows it and when I tell you,

"you'll know it, but if it leaks, we'll know it was you."

So I said, "What, what?"

He handed me the piece of paper that said, "I am your father."

I was shocked. I said, "Is that true?"

He said, "Well, you search your feelings,

"and we're going to play it like that."

So, oh, my gosh, Dad Vader.

And then I was paranoid because I thought, you know...

-It was way before social media and all of that.

-Yeah.

I had to keep the secret for about a year-and-a-half.

I didn't tell Carrie, I didn't tell...

Well, you know telephone, telegraph, tell a Carrie!

She had no vault whatsoever. In fact, Harrison and I would test her.

If you really wanted to get something out fast,

you'd ask Carrie to keep it in confidence, and out it would go.

So at the screening, when that happened, Harrison turned to me

and said, "Hey, kid, you didn't fucking tell me that."

I apologise for the F-bomb, I only used it for historical accuracy.

But, yeah, I mean, I was so thrilled because,

I mean, I don't liking having the burden of that.

I talk in my sleep, you know?

It could be really dangerous.

-Does Harrison like your impression of him?

-No.

Actually, he once said to me, "Hey, I don't sound anything like that."

It's very accurate!

I read somewhere where back then some of the special effects

were simpler than maybe they are now.

-Yeah.

-So, the Jedi mind control, when you can move objects -

explain how they did that?

Well, first of all, George called Star Wars

the most expensive low budget movie ever made,

and what he meant was every penny had to go up on the screen.

The ingenuity was fantastic.

So, for instance, when I was hanging upside down in the Wampa Cave,

they had fishing wire attached to it,

and pulled it out of my hand and then just reversed the film.

-Oh, OK.

-So it's very simple - but, I mean, the ingenuity is tremendous.

Now they CGI it and spend way too much money.

Can we see if we can recreate it in a very low-tech way?

-I'm game.

-OK.

-So if I give you - if we move that...

-All right.

..if I give you an orange... No, no you're good.

If I give you an orange...

Well, maybe you better move them farther, in case my aim is off.

-So, if you could try to just get it in that general vicinity.

-OK.

So hang on. Wait, wait, wait. So, we've go to look astonished.

This will all make sense.

We've got to look astonished when Mark is holding the orange

and then slowly back to nothing as the orange lands.

-OK?

-OK.

-OK, so are we all set?

-Right - I hope so.

-OK.

APPLAUSE

I think that was good, I think that was good.

OK, was this a good one?

-Was that good? OK.

-We'll fix it in editing.

-Yeah.

Let's watch it back, let's watch it back.

All right. Here we go, OK.

MUSIC: Yoda And The Force

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

-That's good, isn't it?

-Very good.

-Excellent.

-Money well spent.

It doubles as a salute to BB-8.

-With that entrance.

-It was lovely!

I liked the way it was just rolling round!

-The force took charge.

-The force was weak and then STRONG!

-Very strong.

-Yeah!

When it ended, the first three, that franchise ended,

where you relieved it was over, or were you sad?

It was sort of like the end of school,

you're clearing out your locker,

knowing that you weren't going to see everyone again -

because you really bond and become a family, you know?

You spend more time with the crew and the cast

than you do with your real family.

So, yeah, there was a sense of completion -

a beginning, middle and an end, and I thought, "Well, that's it."

You know?!

It must have been weird, because you must have assumed

you could stop being Luke Skywalker at some point in the future -

and that sort of never happened.

-Carrie's talked about that...

-Right.

-You know, she's Princess Leia -

she was Princess Leia forever.

Well, she was really mad - she came to see me on Broadway

and she said, "What's with your bio?"

I said, "What are you talking about?"

She said, "Hamill, known for a series of space films,

"made his Broadway debut in such and such."

She said, "Mark, I'm Princess Leia, you're Luke Skywalker,

"get used to it and get over yourself."

She was always miles ahead of me

in terms of realising what's the obvious.

That thing with Harrison and Carrie and yourself,

because of what happened with the earlier Star Wars films,

you were part of each other's lives,

and so it seems so fitting, in a way,

that you got to say goodbye in this way,

-in this movie...

-Yeah.

-..to Carrie.

-Yeah.

I mean, you know, it... really, it hit us all hard,

and I am not sure that I have really gone through all the stages,

the denial, acceptance, the bargaining,

because she is so in the present for me,

she's not in the past tense - but she's wonderful in the movie.

-So good.

-Yeah.

-And you...

I mean, she didn't rate herself as an actress at all,

-she rated herself as a writer, and other things...

-Right.

..but she was so proud of this movie.

-She knew she'd done something really good.

-She should be!

-Absolutely.

-She'd done something really good.

-Yeah.

She's just wonderful in the movie.

The tough part is that you want to grieve in private,

but, you know, she belonged to the world -

so not only does it come up on a daily basis with the public,

but you go on these press junkets

-and you're asked about it 47 times a day...

-Yeah.

..and you want to be sincere every time

and not slip into, "Well, I'll never stop missing her,

"I'll always love her," because it's true. You know? It's...

-Yeah.

-I must say, I found this movie really moving.

They handled it really... I think they really handled it nicely.

The movie is the same as it was always going to be.

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-They didn't change anything.

-Yeah.

But it has ended up being this beautiful love letter to her,

as well, as everything else.

-It's a whole other dimension.

-Absolutely.

There's that amazing thing that Joan Didion said

when her husband passed away, she kept expecting him to come back,

and the wonderful thing is that we do get to see her again,

-doing what she loved and what she is brilliant at.

-Yeah.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I suppose... You didn't know what you were getting into

when you signed up for Star Wars, but you guys did.

You knew that this was a big deal.

So, Daisy Ridley, where were you?

What were you doing when you were told

you were going to be a big part of this Star Wars world?

Um... I was at the theatre.

I was at the Tristan Bates Theatre, and I was with my friend,

and I'd been at an audition earlier on in the day,

and I got an e-mail -

it literally makes my heart pound thinking about it -

I got an e-mail from JJ and I was like, "Wait, what?!"

Saying, "Hey, can I call you?" I was like, "Agh!"

I had to ask to borrow a charger

and then I had to do the audition for this other thing,

and then I went to the theatre.

Then I was looking at my phone thinking, he hasn't called yet,

and I checked my voicemail and there was a voicemail.

I was like, "Oh, God. Oh, God."

And then I didn't know how to call America

because I had never called America from my English phone...

Anyway, I finally got through. They were like, "Bad Robot."

I was like, "What is going on here?!"

And I thought I basically had to convince him over the phone...

It's so weird, I haven't thought about this in ages.

It makes your heart pump, innit?

-It's literally making my heart pump.

-It's mad.

I thought I had to convince him,

and he was going, "You know, this is going to be this..."

and I'm like, "I'm ready. I can do it, I can do it,"

he goes, "Yeah, yeah, you're going to be in Star Wars."

-I was like...

-Oof!

And I was outside the theatre and the play had started,

and it was a fucking long play.

And I had to go back in and finish it.

APPLAUSE

-Oh, my God!

-Of course, you can't celebrate!

-No.

I literally went in, sat down next to my friend and was like...

"Ugh..."

-It was nuts.

-John, I don't know what it is, if it's paranoia,

but you go to extreme lengths, now,

to avoid situations of lots of people.

No, no - you know what?

I think with this fame stuff, it really affects you differently,

-everyone has their own individual experience...

-Yeah.

..and it depends what kind of life you lived before,

and I always went midnight shopping.

Oh, right - so, this isn't a fame thing?

Guys, do you go midnight shopping, though?

Is it just me, like, in really late, or is that just me?

-No, I've never been midnight shopping.

-No-one's done that?

I feel like I want to start.

If you want a snack - not like a full grocery shop.

You don't need to do a full grocery shop -

like, milk, and eggs, all that kind of stuff.

-Crisps and chocolate.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, all right. Good.

No, but you don't go to the garage - you go to a proper supermarket.

Yeah, yeah - Asda's got something going on there,

you know what I mean?

Go down there, make it work.

Do... Do people recognise you in the middle of the night?

Or do they just go, "That can't be John Boyega"?

Some people do and they go,

"Why would John Boyega be doing that, though?"

And that's the key. That's the key.

-That's key.

-Yeah!

Sometimes - I read a thing - you had a very sweet encounter,

-I think it was in an airport?

-Oh, yeah.

It was before I was going through customs,

and there was this small little girl with her mum,

and she pinched my jacket, and I turned around,

she was so small, and she was like, "Mr Finn, is your back OK?"

and I was just like, "Um..."

and I looked up at her mum,

and her mum was like, "You'd better lie to my child"!

"Yeah, my back's OK!"

It was just that sweet moment -

because the kids, they don't see you as the actor,

they see you as the character,

but there's still something still so magical about that.

Gwendoline, you got the double whammy.

-You've got Game O and this.

-Yeah.

-So do you get bothered all the time?

I mean, it can be quite intense, but it...

I think the pinnacle of this intensity manifested itself

at a restaurant fairly recently,

-and I went to the bathroom...

-So this is in a restaurant?

Yeah, this is in a restaurant -

and it's a, you know, fairly expensive restaurant, actually.

-Thank you very much!

-Thank you very much.

-Yes!

And I went into the bathroom, and I went into the stall,

and I went to lower myself into the correct position.

-What I believe to be the correct position.

-Yes.

-And then under the door...

-No!

-..slipped a hand...

-No!

-..with a phone...

-NO!

-..and a female voice said, "Selfie."

-NO!

-Yes!

Who? Who would do that?

I just said, "No, thank you," and the hand slipped away.

-I suppose these guys were forewarned. For you...

-Sure.

-"What? What the hell?"

-Yeah, yeah. Well - and it was my first film!

I had done a lot of television and theatre,

but you do one movie, and...

Heck, you know? But I appreciate it now

in a way I couldn't in my 20s.

With a little perspective - cos at that age, you go, "Wow,

"every movie I do will become a pop culture phenomenon!"

Note to self, wrong!

One of the reasons it was good to come back,

is to show the way I am now,

cos there was a long gap where the original fans grew up

and had children of their own,

so, you'd be at the airport and the parents were saying,

"Look who it is - it's Luke Skywalker!"

and this four-year-old, they have no concept of time,

they think we made Star Wars last week,

and they look up at me in my 50s and they were aghast!

"God, this guy really let himself go!"

So, now it's healthy for them to see the ageing process.

It's a relief, because the last thing I want in life

is frightening small children.

-It's not on my list of things I...

-Right, it's time for music.

This man has an Oscar, a Golden Globe

and a handful of Grammys to his name,

and now he's back with his second album.

Performing Too Good At Goodbyes, it is Sam Smith.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

# You must think that I'm stupid

# You must think that I'm a fool

# You must think that I'm new to this

# But I have seen this all before

# I'm never gonna let you close to me

# Even though you mean the most to me

# Cos every time I open up, it hurts

# So I'm never gonna get too close to you

# Even when I mean the most to you

# In case you go and leave me in the dirt

# But every time you hurt me The less that I cry

# And every time you leave me The quicker these tears dry

# And every time you walk out The less I love you

# Baby, we don't stand a chance It's sad but it's true

# I'm way too good at goodbyes

# I'm way too good at goodbyes

-# I'm way too good at goodbyes

-I'm way too good at goodbyes

# I know you're thinking I'm heartless

# I know you're thinking I'm cold

# I'm just protecting my innocence

# I'm just protecting my soul

# I'm never gonna let you close to me

# Even though you mean the most to me

# Cos every time I open up, it hurts

# So I'm never gonna get too close to you

# Even when I mean the most to you

# In case you go and leave me in the dirt

# But every time you hurt me The less that I cry

# And every time you leave me The quicker these tears dry

# And every time you walk out The less I love you

# Baby, we don't stand a chance It's sad but it's true

-# I'm way too good at goodbyes

-I'm way too good at goodbyes

-# I'm way too good at goodbyes

-I'm way too good at goodbyes

-# No way that you'll see me cry

-No way that you'll see me cry

-# I'm way too good at goodbyes

-I'm way too good at goodbyes

# No, no, no

-# I'm way too good at goodbyes

-No, no, no

# No, no, no

# No, no, no, I'm way too good at goodbyes

# No way that you'll see me cry

-# Oh-oh-oh-oh

-I'm way too good at goodbyes

# Cos every time you hurt me The less that I cry

# And every time you leave me The quicker these tears dry

# And every time you walk out The less I love you

# Baby, we don't stand a chance It's sad but it's true

# I'm way too good at goodbyes. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Sam Smith! Come on over.

That's so beautiful!

Thank you so much.

Come in, sit down.

Sam Smith, meet everybody - Gwendoline, John, Daisy, Mark.

There you go. Lovely, lovely, lovely.

Fantastic.

There you go.

Congratulations.

That, of course, is off the album The Thrill Of It All.

-Well done, you, sir.

-Thank you. I'm going to have a glass of wine.

-Do - neck it.

-Yeah.

You must be so relieved.

Cos there's always that hiatus,

-and, "Ooh, will it match the first album?"

-Yeah.

-This so has! So, congratulations.

-Thank you. Thank you.

-Yeah!

-It was stressful, it really was.

-I can imagine it's wildly stressful.

Yeah. I just want to sing for the rest of my life,

and I just hope that people want to hear me. So...

AUDIENCE CHEERS

No-one's going to stop you!

-That is true. Very true.

-Yeah.

-I could always sing in the shower.

Yeah - you'll be singing, you're fine.

With this album, it's not - how can I put this -

-it's not the cheeriest...

-Oh, no!

-..of albums.

Never - I'm not that guy.

You can turn to, like, the Spice Girls for the cheery stuff.

When you're writing those songs, are you feeling it,

or are you just thinking, "Oh, yeah, this is good"?

I've been very unlucky with love, that's the only way I can put it,

-and I just write love songs. That's what I enjoy to...

-Yeah.

But I'm excited to... Hopefully the third album will be happy, joyous...

-Oh!

-Yeah.

-OK.

-Yeah.

Now, I don't want to upset the actors on the couch,

but since you were last here you won an Oscar.

APPLAUSE

Take that!

So, is...

Is the Oscar sat in your house?

I almost feel it doesn't count, does it?

It does! It's a proper Oscar.

I can't look at it.

I'm waiting till I'm, like, 60, 70,

and I'm just going to surround myself with my albums and my Oscar

and just cry and eat.

I hide it in this thing in my house. I can't even look at it.

-It's hidden?

-Yeah, it freaks me out.

Do you not let friends take pictures with it?

-When I'm drunk.

-It's the only reason I'd want to go to your house -

-yeah, that'd be great.

-When I'm drunk I'm like, "Look at this!"

Yeah! You...

There's a particular character in Star Wars you are a big fan of...

-Yes.

-I notice from the social media.

-Yes.

-Did you see the film or did you just meet the creature?

I saw the film as a kid. I was obsessed with the creature,

-and when I was in Japan on tour...

-This is Ewoks, by the way.

-Oh!

-Being specific, Ewoks.

-When I was in Japan on tour,

they were everywhere.

I went to a toy shop and there was this huge life-size Ewok.

-Not...

-Life-size.

-Life-size.

-Yes...

-I had to get it.

-We've got nice pictures of you.

-I'm obsessed.

-There you are.

-So cute.

is he featured on the album? It looks like you...

"He's leaving me!"

This Ewok is weird looking.

-What's that?

-Oh, no, that's a pillow.

-Oh, is that a pillow?

-Yeah.

Oh, you haven't just ripped its head off!

"That'll teach you."

I like the Ewok trivia.

You said in an interview that the Ewoks weren't suppose to be Ewoks?

I have no memory of that.

Wasn't it supposed to be a planet of Wookiees?

Oh, that's right - I know what you are talking about now.

Yes, originally George wanted to go to the Wookiee home planet,

but it was cost prohibitive, because you have to build all this...

-A lot of fake fur.

-They make those Chewbacca suits hair by hair.

I mean, I visit the creature shop,

and those artists are just incredible, incredibly talented -

but George said, "Well, let's do a shrunken version.."

-Oh!

-"..so we don't need to make the costumes so big."

-See, it's very clever.

-It is - and cheap.

-And... Yeah.

-Yeah.

-They're big in Japan.

-I'm waiting for Sam's love song to Ewoks.

-I know!

-It's coming.

It's coming, it's coming.

We're taking it slow.

Not a lot rhymes with Ewok - apart from the obvious.

Um...

So, now, these guys were talking about the premiere,

and you had similar royal visitors

-at the James Bond premier, didn't you?

-Oh, yes.

Yeah, it was exciting -

but they told me that you have to bow,

-and I thought when you bow, you fully go down like that...

-Oh, God!

I was at a full right angle.

It was the most embarrassing thing ever.

It looked dirty!

So, anyway, they made it...

So... You were...

I like this, though. I like when people are...

So, you are genuinely angling for an invite?

Oh, hell, yeah, I'm obsessed - have you seen The Crown?

Yeah!

-I wouldn't mention that while asking for an invite.

-No, true.

I'm obsessed with them - I love what they wear.

The Queen is so cute. I really want to meet her.

-So, you could be the turn at the reception.

-Yeah.

Mind you, a lot of sad dumping songs -

-probably aren't going to be...

-I can up it for them.

A happy wedding.

-Nice happy wedding. Do some covers.

-Yeah. Rock.

-Yeah.

No-one will know. Yeah.

So, the album - congratulations on 2017,

what an amazing year for you...

-Thank you.

-..and continued success in 2018. Sam Smith, everybody.

APPLAUSE

That is nearly it, but before we go,

just time for a visit to the Big Red Chair.

Oh, by the way, before we get to the Red Chair...

-Have you seen this?

-Yes, yes.

So, this is the lever.

I just want to say, if you want to use your Jedi Master powers

to flip the lever...

-You see how well I did with the orange.

-I know, exactly.

So, feel free.

We spent a lot of money - please do it!

Here we go. Who's up first?

-Hello.

-Hi.

-Hi!

-What's your name?

-Bona.

-Where do you live?

-I live in Oxford.

-Oxford, very nice. What do you do?

-I work for the NHS, in finance.

Oh, in finance... AUDIENCE MURMURS

No, don't boo the lady! AUDIENCE CHEERS

-She does a very good job.

-Yes, I do!

Well, I don't know - you may be useless.

I have no idea.

You might be about to be fired. We don't know!

-Let's assume she's good at her job. OK, off you go with the story.

-OK.

Me and my sister went shopping one day

and I was trying to reverse into a parking space.

So, it was very, very tight,

so I said to my sister, "Can you get out and help me?"

She gets out of the car and she's directing me.

I'm looking in the wing mirror, and she starts hitting my car.

So, I get out of the car, and she went, "The car is on my foot!"

I was like, "What is your foot doing under my...?" Aah!

I hoped for more.

I did it manually. I did it manually.

We don't want to wear it out. I did it manually.

-Shall we have another one?

-Sure.

-OK.

-Hello!

-Hello!

-What is your name?

-Lynne.

-Lynne, lovely. What do you do?

-I work in a GP's surgery in the treatment room.

-OK.

-You don't know Bona in finance, do you?

-I don't, no.

No!

I like that you're wearing your lanyard on TV - that's good.

That's a good way for them to identify you and fire you.

OK, off you go with your story.

Right, well, we're going some years back.

I was a prison officer,

-and during that time...

-She's lived, hasn't she?

Yes!

Oh, you don't know the half of it!

At the time, it was the prison's responsibility

to take the prisoners to the court hearings.

Unfortunately, I was never a very good traveller,

and between going from the prison to the court

I sat my back to the engine in a vehicle with no windows -

I was feeling pretty horrible by the time I got there.

However, I tried to be brave, carry on, you know,

-with this feeling of water in your mouth constantly.

-Yeah, yes.

Anyway, we took the prisoner up to the dock

where the judge started to run through some of the awful things

that had happened in this case,

whereupon I threw up on the back of the prisoner...

..at which time he was taken back to the cells,

I was sent home and I never done court duty again.

-It peaked at the vomit. It peaked at the vomit.

-It did.

-You're a cruel man, but fair.

-I think so.

Let's have another one.

-Oh, hello.

-Hello!

-Oh, wow!

I wonder if he's a Star Wars fan...

-What's your name, sir?

-I'm Jason.

Jason, lovely. Where do you live, Jason?

Er, Tatooine.

MUSIC: Yoda And The Force Go on, do...

Oh... Oh, yeah...!

Oh, well done!

APPLAUSE That was good.

Well done, everyone.

If you'd like to join us on the show and have a go in the Red Chair,

go on our website at this very address...

That is it for tonight.

Please say a huge thank you to my guests - Mr Sam Smith...

APPLAUSE

..Gwendoline Christie...

APPLAUSE

..John Boyega...

APPLAUSE

..Daisy Ridley...

APPLAUSE

..and Mr Mark Hamill.

APPLAUSE

Join me next week with singer Tom Chaplin,

top TV chef Jamie Oliver, Victoria star Jenna Coleman

and the one and only Will Smith.

I'll see you then - good night, everybody. Bye-bye!

APPLAUSE