1. Home
  2. Entertainment
  3. The Javone Prince Show
  4. Episode 3

Episode 3 The Javone Prince Show

Episode 3

Similar Content

Browse content similar to Episode 3. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript

LineFromTo

This programme contains some strong language

0:00:020:00:07

FUNKY MUSIC

0:00:070:00:09

And now, ladies and gentlemen, brethren, lady brethren

0:00:090:00:13

and the pickney dem, will you please welcome your host

0:00:130:00:17

for this evening's bare madnesses,

0:00:170:00:20

he's the face of Premium Drinkable Cheese

0:00:200:00:23

in Utrecht, Gdansk,

0:00:230:00:25

and now 65% of Chorlton-cum-Hardy,

0:00:250:00:29

it's Javone Prince!

0:00:290:00:33

Oh, my God!

0:00:330:00:35

Yeah!

0:00:350:00:36

Darling.

0:00:360:00:38

CHEERING

0:00:380:00:40

Argh!

0:00:480:00:49

FUNKY DISCO MUSIC

0:01:020:01:03

Oh!

0:01:070:01:09

Argh!

0:01:190:01:20

What?!

0:01:200:01:22

Yes! Come on! Come on!

0:01:220:01:25

Welcome to the Javone Prince Show!

0:01:270:01:29

CHEERING

0:01:290:01:30

Whoo! We've got it all going on this evening.

0:01:300:01:33

We've got sketches, we've got live music, we've got...

0:01:330:01:37

You've got me! Ha.

0:01:370:01:39

Unfortunately, we've got him.

0:01:390:01:41

Ah-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha! Yes. Very strong banter.

0:01:410:01:45

I'm looking forward to some more of that this evening.

0:01:450:01:48

Banter?

0:01:480:01:49

Banter.

0:01:490:01:50

-Banter?

-Banter.

0:01:500:01:52

-Banter, yeah?

-Banter!

0:01:520:01:55

We've got the house band.

0:01:550:01:57

CHEERING

0:01:570:02:00

Led by none other than the Godfather of British Neo Soul,

0:02:000:02:04

it's Omar!

0:02:040:02:06

-Omar!

-CHEERING

0:02:060:02:08

Yeah! Yo, Mar.

0:02:080:02:11

I said, yo, Yo-mar!

0:02:110:02:14

LAUGHTER

0:02:140:02:15

You like it? You see what I've done?

0:02:150:02:17

I've put the 'yo' and the 'mar' together.

0:02:170:02:20

You get Yo-mar!

0:02:200:02:21

You like it?

0:02:230:02:25

No, it's shit.

0:02:250:02:27

Ha-ha, I like, I like... Banter. It's good banter.

0:02:280:02:31

Omar, ladies and gentlemen!

0:02:350:02:37

CHEERING

0:02:370:02:38

I love that guy!

0:02:380:02:40

Not getting much love back.

0:02:400:02:42

Have you ever...

0:02:430:02:45

I said, have you ever felt-a, like you're hurtin' inside?

0:02:450:02:51

And there's a pain... Oh! Argh!

0:02:520:02:56

So deep inside!

0:02:560:02:58

But this pain will not-a go away.

0:02:580:03:02

# Yeah, will not, will not Will not go away

0:03:020:03:06

# Yeah! Will not, will not Will not go away

0:03:060:03:10

# Oh! Will not, will not Will not go away, hey! #

0:03:100:03:13

Then!

0:03:130:03:15

My children, let me tell you,

0:03:150:03:18

you are very probably the vict-a-tim of a case of medical negligence-a!

0:03:180:03:25

Oh! Argh!

0:03:250:03:28

I said...

0:03:280:03:29

# Medical

0:03:290:03:31

# Neglige-en-en...

0:03:310:03:35

# en-en-ence-a! #

0:03:350:03:39

Oo-ah!

0:03:390:03:41

But do not fear!

0:03:430:03:45

Oh, no...

0:03:450:03:47

because The Reverend

0:03:470:03:51

'No Win, No Fee' is here...

0:03:510:03:56

-# Yeah! No win, no fee

-No win, no fee

0:03:560:03:59

-# No win, no fee

-No win, no fee

0:03:590:04:01

-# No win, no fee

-No win, no fee

0:04:010:04:03

-# No win, no fee

-# No win, no fee. #

0:04:030:04:05

Come on!

0:04:050:04:06

-# No win, no fee

-No win, no fee

0:04:060:04:08

-# No win, no fee

-No win, no fee. #

0:04:080:04:10

What's your name child?

0:04:100:04:12

Alistair.

0:04:120:04:13

Al-is-tair.

0:04:130:04:15

Such a beautiful name.

0:04:160:04:18

# Such a beautiful name!

0:04:180:04:20

# Al-is-tair! #

0:04:200:04:22

Thank you.

0:04:220:04:23

And, Alistair, tell the Good Reverend what happened to you.

0:04:230:04:31

Well, I went in for a routine back operation, and...

0:04:310:04:34

# He went under the kni-i-i-f-fe. #

0:04:340:04:38

And er, afterwards I had a nagging kind of pain...

0:04:400:04:44

He was feeling the pain! Hmm!

0:04:440:04:47

And I had a sort of swelling.

0:04:470:04:49

He was in a state of swellification!

0:04:490:04:52

Oh!

0:04:520:04:53

It was not his fault.

0:04:530:04:55

I said, it was not-a his fault!

0:04:550:05:00

Mmm!

0:05:000:05:01

There was no cul-pa-bility on his part.

0:05:010:05:05

# No culp-ab-ili-ty. #

0:05:050:05:08

I said there was no culpability on his part-a!

0:05:080:05:13

# No culp-ab-ili-ty. #

0:05:130:05:17

I said there was no culpability on his part-a!

0:05:170:05:20

Oh, right.

0:05:200:05:22

And, people, let me tell you -

0:05:220:05:25

this surgeon, under close,

0:05:250:05:27

close examination...

0:05:270:05:30

Yeah, yeah!

0:05:300:05:31

This healer had gone and left a swab inside of this man.

0:05:310:05:38

# Left a swab inside of yo-oou! Left a swab inside of you!

0:05:380:05:42

# Left a swab inside of you! Left a swab inside of you!

0:05:420:05:45

# And maybe a scalpel too. #

0:05:450:05:47

Actually it was just a swab.

0:05:470:05:49

And this act of gross medical negligence...

0:05:490:05:54

Mmm.

0:05:540:05:55

..I secured this man the sum of £12,500!

0:05:550:06:02

# That is a bi-i-i-i-ig pounds money. #

0:06:020:06:08

Which, er, after all of your expenses

0:06:080:06:10

and costs had been deduced came to £900.

0:06:100:06:13

Shut your mouth, child!

0:06:130:06:15

# Shut your mouth Shut your mouth

0:06:150:06:17

# Before I leave my foot up in your ass...

0:06:170:06:23

# Brother. #

0:06:230:06:25

-# No win, no fee

-No win, no fee

0:06:250:06:26

-# No win, no fee

-No win, no fee

0:06:260:06:28

-# No win, no fee

-No win, no fee. #

0:06:280:06:30

Now go!

0:06:300:06:32

And have yourself the accident-a you deserve!

0:06:320:06:37

-# Come see me

-No win, no fee

0:06:370:06:39

-# Call toll free

-No win, no fee

0:06:390:06:41

-# Come see me

-No win, no fee. #

0:06:410:06:42

ALL: Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!

0:06:420:06:46

Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!

0:06:460:06:48

Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!

0:06:480:06:51

Go, Ja-vone! Go, Ja-vone!

0:06:510:06:52

Go, Ja-vone!

0:06:520:06:54

Yeah!

0:06:560:06:59

CHEERING

0:06:590:07:00

MUSIC: Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson

0:07:000:07:02

# Don't believe me, just watch! #

0:07:040:07:06

'Black people...

0:07:060:07:08

'Being expected to start the dancing at house parties since 1948.'

0:07:080:07:13

APPLAUSE

0:07:150:07:17

I growed up knowing I was different.

0:07:170:07:21

I remember being a child,

0:07:240:07:26

walking into my parents bedroom.

0:07:260:07:28

My father was in there with my aunt.

0:07:280:07:31

She was clearly in some distress.

0:07:310:07:34

He was tending to her whilst repeating the phrase,

0:07:340:07:37

"I'm working my magic,

0:07:370:07:39

"I'm working my magic."

0:07:390:07:41

My aunt was not a religious woman, but I heard her scream,

0:07:410:07:45

"Jesus, I'm coming!"

0:07:450:07:47

It was only when I shouted, "Praise the Lord!"

0:07:470:07:50

that my presence was noted,

0:07:500:07:52

and my father uttered four words

0:07:520:07:54

that would change the course of my life forever.

0:07:540:07:58

"Will you fucking disappear?!"

0:07:580:08:00

I knew then that magic was my calling.

0:08:020:08:06

HE INHALES

0:08:080:08:09

Africa-dabra!

0:08:090:08:11

What is your name, Earthling?

0:08:240:08:26

Uh, John.

0:08:260:08:29

And what is your calling...

0:08:290:08:33

John?

0:08:330:08:34

Er... postman.

0:08:340:08:38

John The Deliverer.

0:08:380:08:41

-Yeah, I guess you could call it...

-Silence!

0:08:410:08:44

Are you a father, John The Deliverer?

0:08:440:08:49

Er, yeah, I've got two little boys - Ryan and Charlie.

0:08:490:08:52

-Good.

-Yeah.

-Give me your phone.

0:08:520:08:54

Hurry!

0:08:570:08:58

I want you to focus all your energy on the bag, Father John.

0:09:000:09:08

Look at me!

0:09:080:09:09

Africa-dabra-sah!

0:09:130:09:14

PHONE RINGS

0:09:190:09:24

That's my phone!

0:09:240:09:25

That's my phone!

0:09:250:09:26

That's my phone!

0:09:290:09:31

That's Ryan and Charlie!

0:09:310:09:33

How did you do that?

0:09:330:09:35

How did he do that?!

0:09:350:09:37

That's my phone!

0:09:370:09:39

That was amazing! I've never seen anything like it.

0:09:420:09:45

I mean, I had to pay 200 quid to get my phone back,

0:09:450:09:48

it was worth it, though.

0:09:480:09:50

I thought my phone was in here!

0:09:500:09:51

Oh, God! That's... Dear me...

0:09:510:09:54

Africa-dabra!

0:09:570:09:58

APPLAUSE

0:09:580:10:00

So here's the thing...

0:10:030:10:05

We'll be out and about filming the sketches

0:10:050:10:07

and normally the general public will be, you know, really polite,

0:10:070:10:10

seeing what you're doing. Very quiet.

0:10:100:10:12

Might give you a round of applause

0:10:120:10:14

after you've finished, like, "That was very good."

0:10:140:10:16

Walk off.

0:10:160:10:17

That's white people. Very nice.

0:10:170:10:20

LAUGHTER

0:10:200:10:21

Black people, on the other hand...

0:10:210:10:23

-LAUGHTER

-Now, you could be in the middle

0:10:230:10:25

of a really - and this has happened to me -

0:10:250:10:27

a really dramatic scene and all you hear is,

0:10:270:10:29

"Ya ay, ya ay, yo!

0:10:290:10:31

-"Brother, know you, innit!"

-LAUGHTER

0:10:310:10:33

"Excuse me, I'm just in the middle of a scene."

0:10:330:10:35

"Now what was you in, innit? You was in that ting, innit?

0:10:350:10:37

It's like, "I'm actually...

0:10:370:10:39

"Can I talk to you after I've finished film...?"

0:10:390:10:41

"Shush, innit, I'm trying to think, bruv!"

0:10:410:10:42

-LAUGHTER

-"Innit. What was you, innit?

0:10:420:10:45

"Yeah, bruv! You was in that show, innit?!

0:10:450:10:47

"That was my show. I liked that show, bruv!

0:10:470:10:49

"You was in that show, yeah!

0:10:490:10:50

"You was shit, bruv."

0:10:500:10:52

LAUGHTER

0:10:520:10:54

"Don't act, innit."

0:10:540:10:55

I knew I'd seen him before.

0:10:550:10:57

He was in that ting, innit?

0:10:570:10:58

That's right, he was in that show, innit!

0:10:580:11:01

-BOTH:

-He was shit!

0:11:010:11:02

"You were shit then

0:11:040:11:06

"and you are even shitter now.

0:11:060:11:09

"Please, I beg of you,

0:11:090:11:11

"do something else with your life and don't act.

0:11:110:11:15

"Hashtag you sicken me."

0:11:150:11:18

"Hashtag constructive criticism.

0:11:180:11:21

"Learn from it."

0:11:210:11:22

If you want brutal honesty,

0:11:230:11:26

ask a black person.

0:11:260:11:27

LAUGHTER

0:11:270:11:28

If you don't want brutal honesty,

0:11:280:11:30

-don't ask a black person.

-LAUGHTER

0:11:300:11:33

But they're going to tell you anyway.

0:11:330:11:34

LAUGHTER

0:11:340:11:36

BEATBOXING

0:11:360:11:39

Following on from an incredible live performance

0:11:420:11:46

at the Words Among The Turds Spoken Words Festival...

0:11:460:11:50

with a devastating new dispatch

0:11:500:11:55

from the front line of political consciousness...

0:11:550:12:00

please, give it up for...

0:12:000:12:03

Dr Afrika, Consciousness X,

0:12:030:12:07

IllumiNigel and...

0:12:070:12:09

their very special guest,

0:12:090:12:12

all the way from the Home Counties...

0:12:120:12:16

Katanga Johnson.

0:12:160:12:17

-IN JAMAICAN ACCENT:

-Hip-postles!

0:12:230:12:25

You're about to witness the strength of street knowledge.

0:12:250:12:29

Dash me a word up!

0:12:290:12:31

Police oppression!

0:12:310:12:33

Police oppression.

0:12:340:12:36

Yeah, man. G'wan!

0:12:360:12:37

SHE RAPS: # Rapping at cops on the picket line

0:12:410:12:43

# You do nothing whilst I opine

0:12:430:12:46

# Me no eat no pork SNORTING

0:12:460:12:48

# Me no eat no swine

0:12:480:12:51

# To all da peoples that think it's fine,

0:12:510:12:53

# It's not!

0:12:530:12:55

# Babylonia, grabbin' hold of ya

0:12:550:12:57

# Beatin' me down

0:12:570:13:00

# But me never frown

0:13:000:13:02

# My parents are friends with Gordon Brown

0:13:020:13:04

LAUGHTER

0:13:040:13:05

# So get off me, copper

0:13:050:13:07

# Get off me, pig!

0:13:070:13:08

# This bitch ain't for turnin'

0:13:080:13:10

# Yeah? You dig? #

0:13:100:13:11

MUFFLED LAUGHTER

0:13:130:13:15

Africa!

0:13:150:13:16

-THEY CHANT:

-Ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa!

0:13:160:13:20

-LAUGHTER

-Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa!

0:13:200:13:22

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa!

0:13:220:13:24

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa! Ooh, ooh, ooh...

0:13:240:13:26

Excuse me, sorry. THEY CONTINUE TO CHANT

0:13:260:13:28

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Africa! Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh...

0:13:280:13:30

-Wow!

-..Africa.

0:13:300:13:31

Er, Katanga Johnson,

0:13:310:13:34

the original lyrical terrorist.

0:13:340:13:37

And remember, that the official

0:13:370:13:39

Dr Afrika Truth Bomb jerk seasoning...

0:13:390:13:44

is now available in selected garages and garden centres

0:13:440:13:49

across the country.

0:13:490:13:50

-And bus stops!

-LAUGHTER

0:13:500:13:52

And bus stops. Thank you, IllumiNigel.

0:13:520:13:54

The Black Man Group.

0:13:540:13:55

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:13:550:13:57

Excuse me, guys,

0:13:570:13:59

I'm just coming back through. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:13:590:14:01

Excuse me.

0:14:010:14:02

-THEY CHANT:

-Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!

0:14:020:14:06

-ALL:

-Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!

0:14:060:14:09

MUSIC: Billie Jean by Michael Jackson

0:14:090:14:11

THEY CONTINUE TO CHANT

0:14:110:14:13

-ALL:

-Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!

0:14:130:14:16

-ALL:

-Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk! Moonwalk!

0:14:160:14:20

-ALL:

-Whoo!

0:14:270:14:31

CHEERING

0:14:310:14:34

NARRATOR: 'Black people - being asked to start the moonwalk

0:14:360:14:39

'at house parties since 1984.'

0:14:390:14:42

LAUGHTER

0:14:420:14:44

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:14:440:14:46

UPBEAT MUSIC

0:14:510:14:53

LAUGHTER

0:14:530:14:54

FARTING

0:14:540:14:57

LOUD FART

0:14:570:14:58

LAUGHTER, FARTING CONTINUES

0:14:580:15:01

LOUD FART, LAUGHTER

0:15:010:15:04

LONG FART

0:15:040:15:08

LAUGHTER

0:15:080:15:10

OTHER FARTS

0:15:100:15:11

LAUGHTER

0:15:110:15:12

CANS FIZZ

0:15:120:15:14

UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS

0:15:140:15:16

THEY FART TO THE MUSIC

0:15:190:15:21

LAUGHTER

0:15:210:15:23

LAUGHTER

0:15:290:15:31

SQUELCHING

0:15:310:15:32

-IN FOREIGN ACCENT:

-Farty Man, the party extra workout drink!

0:15:320:15:35

-LAUGHTER

-Drink-a now!

0:15:350:15:36

Mmm! Yum! Only available in mail order.

0:15:360:15:39

LAUGHTER

0:15:390:15:40

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:15:400:15:42

You're watching the Javone Prince Show,

0:15:420:15:45

with me, Javone Prince.

0:15:450:15:47

Sponsored by Horganzair,

0:15:490:15:51

the drinkable cheese that doesn't give night-time gas.

0:15:510:15:54

LAUGHTER Drink the cheese, eat the cup.

0:15:540:15:58

Coming up, sketches, music and live dancing,

0:15:580:16:02

but first...

0:16:020:16:04

sketches! QUIET LAUGHTER

0:16:040:16:07

-Mm!

-LAUGHTER

0:16:070:16:09

Africa-dabra!

0:16:120:16:14

LAUGHTER

0:16:140:16:15

Ah, ah!

0:16:190:16:20

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:16:200:16:22

What do they call you, Earthling?

0:16:260:16:30

Er, Maria.

0:16:300:16:31

-Maria?

-Yeah.

0:16:310:16:33

And what is your calling, Maria?

0:16:330:16:35

I'm a childminder.

0:16:360:16:37

Tell me, Maria. Do you have children of your own?

0:16:370:16:41

Oh, yeah, I've got three, but they've all grown up now.

0:16:410:16:43

I just love kids. I've got two young gorgeous nephews, though.

0:16:430:16:47

-Can I say hello to the...?

-No!

0:16:470:16:49

LAUGHTER

0:16:490:16:50

So you're an aunt?

0:16:520:16:53

Yeah, a very proud aunt.

0:16:530:16:54

Excellent! Maria, the very proud aunt.

0:16:540:16:58

Give me your watch.

0:17:010:17:03

My watch?

0:17:040:17:05

HE CHUCKLES

0:17:070:17:09

Stop...

0:17:090:17:10

HE SHRIEKS: ..smiling!

0:17:100:17:11

LAUGHTER

0:17:110:17:14

I think it's time to eat.

0:17:140:17:16

Don't you?

0:17:160:17:17

HE LAUGHS MENACINGLY

0:17:210:17:22

Mmm! Mmm! MARIA GASPS

0:17:230:17:26

METAL CRUNCHES Mmm! Mmm!

0:17:260:17:28

Mmm!

0:17:290:17:31

Africa-dabrrrra!

0:17:310:17:33

HE SHRIEKS

0:17:330:17:36

LAUGHTER

0:17:360:17:40

CROWD GASP

0:17:430:17:46

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

0:17:460:17:48

HE SHRIEKS

0:17:480:17:49

Where'd he go?

0:17:580:17:59

-Where's he gone?

-I dunno.

0:18:020:18:05

-Where's my watch?

-LAUGHTER

0:18:080:18:10

-Sah!

-Ooh!

0:18:110:18:13

I'd give that five minutes if I were you...

0:18:200:18:22

Auntie. LAUGHTER

0:18:220:18:24

Look in the bush!

0:18:240:18:26

It's my watch! It's my...!

0:18:310:18:34

Oh.

0:18:340:18:36

That is horrible.

0:18:360:18:37

LAUGHTER

0:18:370:18:38

APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:18:410:18:43

Africa-dabra!

0:18:430:18:45

MUSIC: I Can't Wait by Nu Shooz

0:18:470:18:49

LAUGHTER

0:19:000:19:01

NARRATOR: 'Black people - enjoying showing off

0:19:040:19:07

'at house parties since 1948.'

0:19:070:19:10

LAUGHTER

0:19:100:19:11

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:19:110:19:13

Up, down, left, right.

0:19:230:19:27

Cocked, askew and jaunty.

0:19:270:19:31

All different styles of wearing hats, of course.

0:19:310:19:35

But, once again, the Government's Hat Height Advisory Board's

0:19:350:19:38

latest quarterly ruling means that from midnight tonight,

0:19:380:19:42

hats will have to be worn a full two inches higher on the head.

0:19:420:19:46

It's a decision that's caused consternation

0:19:460:19:49

amongst the baseball cap wearing public.

0:19:490:19:52

I spoke to the minister responsible.

0:19:530:19:57

Hats must be worn higher for the foreseeable future.

0:19:570:20:01

It's as simple as that.

0:20:010:20:02

Let me finish, let me finish, let me finish, let me finish!

0:20:020:20:05

LAUGHTER

0:20:050:20:07

Now, there's been a lot of unwarranted fuss about this.

0:20:070:20:11

There's a whole heap of nonsense being spouted in the press

0:20:110:20:14

and a lot of people who should know better

0:20:140:20:15

have been running their gums and generally chatting shit.

0:20:150:20:18

-LAUGHTER

-Let me make this clear,

0:20:180:20:21

this government will not tolerate this kind of blasted foolishness!

0:20:210:20:26

Have you got that?

0:20:260:20:28

'So what does this mean for the man then, on the street?'

0:20:280:20:31

-They're taking the piss, fam!

-Mm.

0:20:310:20:34

Yeah? We've had six raises in the past year!

0:20:340:20:38

Honestly, my brother, I can't keep up, innit.

0:20:380:20:41

And soon they're going to have hats

0:20:410:20:42

all the way up there, like that. Like a mug!

0:20:420:20:44

Does that look safe to you?

0:20:440:20:45

-No.

-I'm riding along on my bike, yeah, as you do, innit?

0:20:450:20:49

Yeah, gust of wind come, blows my hat off.

0:20:490:20:50

I go to pick the ting up. Bam!

0:20:500:20:52

I've only been done by a fucking lorry!

0:20:520:20:55

Shit me!

0:20:550:20:56

-LAUGHTER

-Get me? So wear it like this.

0:20:560:20:59

-Fine, calm, innit?

-Yeah.

0:20:590:21:01

Then man went and changed it to this.

0:21:010:21:04

Why? Why would you do that?

0:21:040:21:06

-Why?

-They then went and changed it

0:21:060:21:08

and made man wear it like that, like it's half decent, innit?

0:21:080:21:12

Cos it's in line with what the men

0:21:120:21:13

-are doing in the street.

-It still felt cool.

-I saw Obama do that!

0:21:130:21:16

Then they went and changed it to this!

0:21:160:21:18

These clowns! These muppets, bruv.

0:21:180:21:20

Wh...wh...what's going to...what's going to be next? What here?

0:21:200:21:23

Is that what they want for this country, bruv?

0:21:230:21:25

This sort of ting is what them men are still doing

0:21:250:21:28

-in the eastern blocks, bruv.

-Mmm!

0:21:280:21:29

That's as may be, but frustration is running so high

0:21:290:21:32

with this latest government announcement

0:21:320:21:35

that underground hat parties are springing up

0:21:350:21:39

across the nation's capital.

0:21:390:21:41

CROWD SHOUTS

0:21:410:21:43

'So popular have these hat parties proved,

0:21:470:21:50

'that visitors from all walks of life have found themselves walking in.'

0:21:500:21:55

LOUD MUSIC PLAYS

0:21:550:21:57

-I've let myself down...

-LAUGHTER

0:22:050:22:07

..I have let my party down,

0:22:070:22:09

and, most importantly,

0:22:090:22:11

I have let my wives and my boyfriend down.

0:22:110:22:14

LAUGHTER

0:22:140:22:15

This has been a deeply regrettable incident

0:22:150:22:18

and I will be taking a leave of absence from my ministerial duties

0:22:180:22:21

to write a thick book about my experiences

0:22:210:22:25

and to seek professional help from my milliner.

0:22:250:22:27

LAUGHTER

0:22:270:22:29

Well, hat's life!

0:22:320:22:34

Next week, with a rise in trouser heights expected,

0:22:360:22:40

we'll speak to one man who's bucking the trend.

0:22:400:22:44

If man want to wear it, yeah,

0:22:440:22:45

below my breastses on some granddad swag, yeah? Man will do that.

0:22:450:22:49

If man want to wear it below my ankles, yeah?

0:22:490:22:51

On some Snow White, Seven Dwarves swag, yeah?

0:22:510:22:54

-Man will do that, yeah?

-LAUGHTER

0:22:540:22:56

So don't try telling man how to wear my trousers.

0:22:560:22:58

What a prat!

0:22:580:23:00

LAUGHTER I'll see you next time.

0:23:000:23:02

But in the meantime, remember, keep your jeans high

0:23:020:23:05

and your hats even higher.

0:23:050:23:08

One love.

0:23:080:23:09

MUSIC: One Love by Bob Marley and The Wailers

0:23:100:23:13

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:23:130:23:14

See?

0:23:230:23:25

Stinks, innit?

0:23:250:23:26

But tastes nice.

0:23:260:23:28

Try it.

0:23:280:23:30

Ladies and gentlemen, it's that time in the show

0:23:300:23:33

where I get to play you some of my favourite music

0:23:330:23:35

by some of my favourite artists.

0:23:350:23:37

We've got something special for you this week on the Javone Prince Show.

0:23:370:23:40

Please, show some love

0:23:400:23:42

for Carleen Anderson!

0:23:420:23:44

-APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

-Amazing!

0:23:440:23:46

Ooh, sorry, sorry. Are you OK?

0:23:480:23:50

# A popularity of invasion

0:24:020:24:06

# Handed down through centuries

0:24:070:24:10

# A force of arms called gentle persuasion

0:24:120:24:15

# What have we learned from history?

0:24:160:24:20

# Apparently nothing

0:24:200:24:22

# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:24:220:24:25

# Apparently nothing

0:24:250:24:27

# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:24:270:24:30

# Apparently nothing

0:24:300:24:31

# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:24:310:24:34

# Apparently nothing

0:24:340:24:36

#Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:24:360:24:39

# Human worth is so inexpensive

0:24:390:24:44

# Compared to gold, the root of most wars

0:24:440:24:48

# Subtract the tears from countless offences

0:24:480:24:53

# What is left but guns and scars?

0:24:530:24:57

# Apparently nothing

0:24:570:24:59

Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:24:590:25:02

# Apparently nothing

0:25:020:25:03

# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:25:030:25:07

# Apparently nothing

0:25:070:25:08

# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:25:080:25:11

# Apparently nothing, yeah

0:25:110:25:14

# Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:25:140:25:17

# Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yea-aah

0:25:170:25:19

# Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yea-aah

0:25:190:25:23

SHE SCATS

0:25:230:25:24

# Woo-hoo!

0:25:240:25:25

# Sing the song, y'all

0:25:250:25:26

-# I ain't trying to rule your mind

-Yeah!

0:25:260:25:29

# A conscious observer trying to find

0:25:290:25:31

# A place on Earth where they heed the signs

0:25:310:25:33

# Beware of conflicts that ruin mankind

0:25:330:25:36

-# Ooh, oooh, oooh!

-If you want things move better

0:25:360:25:38

# Withstand the tides of the bad weather

0:25:380:25:40

# The struggle thrives when we all gather

0:25:400:25:43

# Down at the banks of the soul river

0:25:430:25:45

# Ye-ah!

0:25:450:25:47

HIGH-PITCHED SCATTING

0:25:470:25:50

# Ooh!

0:25:550:25:56

# Love, ooh!

0:25:560:25:58

# Oh-ho-ho

0:25:580:25:59

SHE SCATS

0:25:590:26:02

# Ooh, ooh, ooh!

0:26:020:26:04

-# Each one, teach one into one

-Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:26:040:26:07

# Come on, children

0:26:070:26:09

-# Each one, teach one into one

-Apparently nothing, nothing apparently

0:26:090:26:13

# See the light

0:26:130:26:15

# Come on, children

0:26:150:26:16

# You have got to show your light

0:26:160:26:19

# Oh, oh, oh, oh!

0:26:190:26:22

# So this little light of mine

0:26:220:26:24

# I'm going to let it shine

0:26:240:26:27

# This little light of mine

0:26:270:26:28

# I'm!

0:26:280:26:30

# Going to let it shine

0:26:300:26:31

# Everywhere where we go

0:26:310:26:34

# I'm going to let my light go

0:26:340:26:36

# Everywhere where we go

0:26:360:26:38

# I'm going to let my light go! #

0:26:380:26:41

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:26:410:26:43

Carleen Anderson, everybody!

0:26:450:26:48

Oh, what a voice!

0:26:480:26:50

Give it up!

0:26:500:26:52

Oh, oh, oh!

0:26:520:26:54

Oh, oh! Oh-oh!

0:26:540:26:56

Oh!

0:26:560:26:58

On behalf of everybody here at the Javone Prince Show,

0:27:000:27:03

-and our friends at Horganzair, of course...

-Mm.

0:27:030:27:05

LAUGHTER ..we'd very much like you to accept

0:27:050:27:07

this souvenir tray of 16 individually wrapped

0:27:070:27:11

drinkable cheese snack cups.

0:27:110:27:12

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you. Thank you.

0:27:120:27:14

Erm, could we just get a photograph please for the sponsors?

0:27:140:27:18

LAUGHTER Ah yes, splendid.

0:27:180:27:19

Excellent product placement.

0:27:190:27:21

-LAUGHTER

-Thank you.

0:27:210:27:23

CARLEEN LAUGHS My dear lady, how the devil are you?

0:27:230:27:25

-So that's it!

-ALL:

-Oh!

0:27:250:27:27

So, from all of us here on the Javone Prince Show,

0:27:270:27:30

that's me, Javone Prince,

0:27:300:27:31

that's him the legend that is Omar...

0:27:310:27:33

-ALL:

-Ooh!

-And not forgetting me!

0:27:330:27:35

-I'm trying to... Bruv, take your hand off me.

-Sorry.

0:27:350:27:37

LAUGHTER Great banter, though.

0:27:370:27:40

Mm. LAUGHTER

0:27:420:27:44

-Go and sit down.

-LAUGHTER

0:27:440:27:47

But, before we go,

0:27:470:27:49

you lot know what time it is.

0:27:490:27:51

-It's Candy Time!

-CHEERING

0:27:510:27:54

Oh!

0:27:540:27:55

MUSIC: Candy by Cameo

0:27:550:27:57

-That's it, come on!

-AUDIENCE CLAP TO MUSIC

0:27:570:27:59

You lot at the front!

0:28:010:28:04

Come on!

0:28:040:28:07

# It's like candy

0:28:080:28:11

# I can feel it when you walk

0:28:110:28:13

# Even when you talk

0:28:130:28:15

# It takes over me

0:28:150:28:17

# You're so dandy

0:28:170:28:20

# I want to know

0:28:200:28:22

# Can you feel it too?

0:28:220:28:24

# Just like I do?

0:28:240:28:27

# Oooh!

0:28:270:28:28

# This stuff is starting now

0:28:280:28:31

# It's the same feeling

0:28:310:28:33

# I always seem to get around you

0:28:330:28:36

# There's no mistaking

0:28:380:28:39

# I'm clearly taken #

0:28:390:28:41

FARTING

0:28:410:28:42

# By the simple mere thought of you

0:28:420:28:45

# Oh! #

0:28:450:28:46

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:28:490:28:52

Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS