Stephen K Amos The TV That Made Me


Stephen K Amos

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Transcript


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Telly, that magic box in the corner.

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It gives us access to a million different worlds,

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all from the comfort of our sofa.

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In this series, I'm going to journey through the fantastic

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world of TV with some of our favourite celebrities.

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They've chosen the precious TV moments that shed light...

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Pick that one out.

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It's called scone pizza.

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..on the stories of their lives.

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I used to go mental if a swimmer was on.

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It would just, like, make my life.

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'Some are funny...'

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-Oh... Ooh, sha-bob.

-Oh, my word!

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-Some...

-There's been a murder.

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..are surprising.

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My mother didn't laugh that much. It was, sort of, hard going but,

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God, she laughed at that.

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Some are inspiring...

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In all of those programmes, in different ways,

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there's something special going on.

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..and many are deeply moving.

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Oh!

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The death of John F Kennedy...

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Now we can't imagine what it was like to receive such

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devastating news then.

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So come watch with us

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as we hand-pick the vintage telly that helped

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turn our much-loved stars into the people they are today.

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Welcome to The TV That Made Me.

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My guest today is a star stand-up on TV

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and the international comedy circuit.

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He's also a writer, presenter and actor.

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He's famous for his easy charm and honest wit - sounds like me, really.

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It's Stephen K Amos,

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who is the biggest thing to come out of Tooting since Citizen Smith.

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The TV that shaped him includes

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a record-breaking children's show...

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-Well, dance away, then...

-Right.

-..and we'll watch.

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..and a series of sinister stories with more twists than

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a bag of pretzels.

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The child was trying to warn me.

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It can only be the one and only Stephen K Amos...who's here.

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Are you excited about this, this trip down memory lane?

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I'm very excited. I can't wait to see what you've got in store.

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Well, I'm going to take you on this journey that made you into,

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-possibly, the person you are today...

-Oh, hope so.

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..with regards to television.

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-Because I love what you've done with the flat. I mean, it's amazing.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

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It already takes me back, looking at the TV and, what looks like, a gramophone.

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Because I actually do have my parents' gramophone from back

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-in the day in my living room today.

-Really?

-Oh, yes.

-Oh, right.

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-It's got a drinks cabinet that lights up when you open it.

-No!

-Yes!

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And it's got a padded velvet back

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-and it's got the wireless radio tuner thing.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And at the top, you lift it up and up comes the turntable.

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I have got flat envy, do you know that? I really have.

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So we're going take you on this path, but first up we're going

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to have a look at what it was like to be the young Stephen K Amos.

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Stephen K Amos and his twin sister Stella were born in London in 1967.

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Theirs was a large family

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and a family who didn't stay put in any one place for long.

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-Your family, they moved a lot, mate.

-We did move...

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Ha-ha-ha-ha! You have done your research! Yeah, we moved quite a bit

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because, I think, my parents, in the early days, thought of

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-themselves as property developers..

-Oh, right.

-..and we thought we were

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in the Witness Protection Programme because they moved around...

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I went to about five different primary schools and three different

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-secondary schools.

-Really?

-Yeah, not only did they move around a lot,

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-there was a lot of us in the family.

-How many of you?

-Eight kids.

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-Eight...!

-It's not necessary.

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Because you had to have a voice in the family household. I mean, there's nothing worse,

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sitting around the dinner table, all these kids, all of us, my mum

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leaning over to my brother, pointing to me and going, "Who is that?

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"I don't recognise him."

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"I'm your son. I'm the son, I'm the middle one."

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-So you had to do something to have your voice heard...

-Yeah.

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..and mine happened to be comedy.

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Something that really got the family excited...

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-Yeah.

-..and me too.

-Oh, good.

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-Yeah, Record Breakers and the brilliant Roy Castle.

-Oh!

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There he is there.

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# Dedication's what you need Dum-dum-dum...

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BOTH: # Dedication's What you need..

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# If you wanna be a Record Breaker. #

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The good thing about watching this programme as a family...

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-Because he used to try a lot of the stuff himself.

-Yeah, yeah.

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Are there any records on tap dancing?

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Well, no, not really.

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The nearest we've heard of is

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a heel-stomping record in

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Flamenco dancing.

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It was set in September 1967 in Australia by a man

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called Solero de Jerez.

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And that's the power of television, you see?

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When you see someone that you admire doing a challenge and you think,

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"Maybe I could give something a go."

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-Right, well, dance away, then...

-Right.

-..and we'll watch.

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17, he's done 17 there, in that second section.

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Go on, Roy!

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24, that's fantastic! He did 24. That's enough, you've shattered it.

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Well, that was 24, which is 1,440 taps in a minute.

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So you are a record breaker!

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APPLAUSE

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Without a doubt, the greatest all-round entertainer.

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All-round, without doubt. He could put his hand to anything and do it.

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Yeah, he'd give it a go, didn't he?

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And that's what, kind of, encouraged us to think we could do anything.

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Did you ever want to see just how big the world's biggest seed is,

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or how many people it's possible to summersault over?

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Well, if you did, then you probably

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watched Record Breakers.

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And the programme almost broke a record itself,

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as one of the longest running children's series

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in British television history,

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running for 29 years and seven days.

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Did it make you realise that ordinary people could do

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extraordinary things?

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That's the point. It meant that, because... You saw him

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and you knew he was a professional,

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but then he was also encouraging people, ordinary people,

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to try and achieve something.

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And, even though it's something that can, maybe, be seen a bit as silly or

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frivolous, it's still an achievement in doing something

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and it gets recognised. Everyone, back in those days,

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had a Guinness Book of Records, do you know what I mean?

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Everybody had those.

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-You...

-Oh!

-..have got one right now.

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Your very own Record Breakers Annual...

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-Oh, my goodness.

-..from 1976.

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-Wow.

-Yeah, there he is.

-God!

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-It's like the evolution of man, there, isn't it?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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What were you not allowed to watch on television?

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-Oh, my god, if any bit of flesh...

-Yeah.

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..was on TV, that was it.

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That was it, you had to get out of the room?

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-No, Mum would leap, like... She could be in the kitchen...

-A gazelle.

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..she could be upstairs, you'll be watching even an advert,

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a holiday advert, you know, somebody in a bikini...

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She's down there, like a gazelle,

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changing the channel, you know? "Dirty, dirty."

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How did this affect the Stephen Amos growing up?

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Well, I can't wear a bikini now, can I?

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The thing is, I don't know how it was for many families,

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but if anything sexual was on the TV, you know,

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we're not that kind of family, we didn't talk about things.

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You know, I never had the talk for example, you know,

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"The talk. The talk." I had no idea what you did.

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Couldn't watch anything like that, if it's not educational,

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if it's not entertaining, you can't watch it.

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Well, this is something you weren't allowed to watch, you were sent

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up to your room and...I'm sorry, your mother's had a word with me

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and said you can't watch it.

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-There's naked ladies in silhouettes, it's wrong.

-Yeah, these were...

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This was one of the...yeah.

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Look, as long as you don't say anything to her...

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-I won't say anything, if you don't.

-There we go.

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-Yes.

-Tales of the Unexpected.

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So did you ever get a sneaky peak at this or...?

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Yeah, I did, yeah.

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You did get to watch this eventually?

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Well, yeah, when I got older, I'd get to watch it.

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But when we were sent to bed, you know,

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Mum and Dad would be on the couch and I'd be sneaking my head

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through the little door, like that, having a good look.

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Because the good thing about this show was that every single episode

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was a stand-alone story and so...

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And sometimes it was quite scary.

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Despite being made on a relatively modest budget,

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this long-running series often featured huge Hollywood stars,

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such as...

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The public couldn't get enough of this spine-tingling stuff.

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You've got to help me. Don't you see what it is? It's a spell.

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Like this one,

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a creepy tale of a newlywed, who thinks her house is being

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haunted by the ghost of her husband's first wife.

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There is an evil spirit in this place that wants to get rid of me.

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-It is eerie, isn't it?

-Yeah.

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You know? You can imagine getting a bit spooked out by this,

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-especially as a young kid.

-I know.

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-Even the lighting.

-Yeah.

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"Prince of Darkness, I make me a sign..."

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-Ooh!

-I think we know where it's going, don't we?

-Yeah.

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"Death in the morning shall he know."

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-Oh, my goodness! See what I mean?

-Yeah!

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Every single episode was like, "Arg! Ooh!"

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Do you think something like this would have given you nightmares?

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-Oh, absolutely.

-Really?

-Yes.

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Many nightmares and...that's probably why I'm not a big

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fan of horror movies or sci-fi, or fantasy at all.

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No, I like things that are a bit more real.

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What did the Amos family watch together?

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Any programme that featured a black family or a black

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character, suddenly the whole family were like, voom, hey!

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Mum would call out,

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"Children, there's a black person on the television, come quickly!"

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And we'd all gather round, mouths open, going, "Oh, wow!"

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Shall we have a little look at this then?

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Edward, could I have a word with you...in the kitchen?

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The kitchen? We've got guests.

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-It's personal.

-Annie, Susan has come to visit us.

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Now, obviously, because of her...

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Well, because she is what she is... Thank you.

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Can you believe it?

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Now, then, what is it?

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Thomas and Susan are married.

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Oh, my god!

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AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

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Thomas, what have you done?

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-Dad, you've got yourself a daughter-in-law.

-Well...

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Well, really this is... This is something that we

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should have been prepared for.

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It was difficult for us, Mr Simson. We didn't know if you'd understand.

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Understand? Of course we understand.

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I understand it's bloody ridiculous.

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AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

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-Look at the big laughs on that line.

-Yeah.

-Whoa!

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It makes me feel quite sick inside, a bit,

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because it may have been a reflection of the times and one of the ways

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people address and deal with what was happening in the country

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at the time, you know?

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Something that's never been seen before, you know?

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People of different cultures, different backgrounds getting together.

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So, for us, watching this as a family, we could really empathise

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-with the young black actress there.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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And particularly when we saw more of this programme,

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where the parents come in, and it's always...

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Whenever these, sort of, '70s shows,

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when they deal with race in this way,

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it's always the female figure of whoever she's married to,

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like the white guy or the black husband...

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The female matriarch of that household seems to be the one of the

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voice of reason, the one that's, kind of, trying to diffuse the situation.

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And it's always the male figure that's either, kind of,

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bigoted and has got these...

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Who maybe represents a view that was prevalent in society.

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My point now, when I look back at this,

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is that was there not a way where we could laugh at that

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but not in such a blatant and ignorant way?

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Maybe that's what it was all about, though.

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Dad, has it ever occurred to you, you don't have to

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-do anything about it? I mean, it's our problem.

-No, it's not.

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I mean... What are the neighbours going to say?

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Oh, for God's sake, don't give me any of that, Dad. To hell with the neighbours.

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You talk about shows that had black actors in it,

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how excited you were to watch those sorts of shows.

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What other shows were you excited about watching that

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focused on black actors?

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Well, when I look back, you can't ignore the miniseries that was called

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Roots by Alex Haley.

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I mean, that was groundbreaking for a young kid like me

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watching that with my whole family.

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It was on, you know, every week for about six or seven weeks

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and it told the story about this guy's family history, his family tree

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from slavery to the present day, stuff I hadn't learned at school.

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It was so amazing and moving and it really, kind of, made me think

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and realise the differences that other people had to go

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through before we got here, do you know what I mean?

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Your name is Toby.

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I want to hear you say it.

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Your name is Toby.

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You're going to learn to say your name. Let me hear you say it.

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What's your name?

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Kunta.

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Kunta Kinte.

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And so that was very ground-breaking because we got to school

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on the Monday and everybody was talking about it, it was so powerful.

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That was one of the first things I'd ever seen which was

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an entirely majority black cast with a very important story.

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So that was very important to the family? Did they all sit down and watch that?

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Oh, God, yeah, we all sat down and watched it together, just transfixed.

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So did that give you a feeling of acceptance, you know,

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-them representing you?

-That...

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The word you used their, "Representing,"

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is so important because that's what it was like.

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It was like, you're representing, brilliant, excellent.

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And it meant that you were visible and visible in a way that wasn't

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derisory. It was more of a celebration and that's why...

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Even watching Lenny from back in the day, you know,

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all his early TV stuff, I was like, "Wow, go on, you're representing."

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The guys behind the Real McCoy, you know, showing us that, yeah,

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we can on there, we can be funny - groundbreaking.

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That must have been huge weight on those performers' shoulders

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thinking that they're representing a whole generation of young

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black kids, you know?

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Even when I look back

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and think about watching TV on a very basic level, whenever you saw

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the news and it had Trevor McDonald came on, we were transfixed.

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"Oh, that's Trevor!" And Mum was just like, "Oh, his sultry voice,

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"I want to marry him. Why did I marry...?

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Talking to my dad, "Why did I marry you? I could be with him." Brilliant.

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Do you feel that pressure?

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Do you know? When I first started, I didn't think I would

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because I had this rose-tinted view that everyone

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was on a equal level playing field.

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Whenever I go out now, I get stopped by young black youths, male,

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female, go, "Yeah, well done, Steve, representing."

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That's the word you get all the time,

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even till today, "Representing."

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So I'm very much aware of what I'm doing and the choices that I make.

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-Does that influence your comedy?

-It makes me be a bit more real.

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When I first started doing comedy, it was all about jazz hands,

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"Look at me, I'm funny, ha-ha."

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But in the last few years, I've been talking about stuff that

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really matters to me and that's where I'm at.

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Did you, sort of, get into comedy quite late?

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I did get into comedy quite late.

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This is the genuine story about how I got into comedy.

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You may remember, quite a few years ago, I think it may have been '95,

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when Hoover did a promotion,

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an advertising promotion in newspapers and TV,

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if you bought one of their Hoovers,

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you got two return tickets to America, New York or Florida.

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-So off you went to America?

-I went to America.

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I was seeing a friend of mine who lived there

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and, at the same time, there was another friend of his from England

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and we were there for a week and she was like, "You're really funny.

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"Why don't you to comedy?"

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I'm like, "Don't be silly. I'm funny, you know, one-on-one."

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She went, "No, no, I'm running a comedy club in England,

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"come and do some stuff."

0:16:250:16:26

And I got back to England a couple of months later and I called her,

0:16:260:16:29

I went, "Were you serious?" And she went, "Yes!"

0:16:290:16:32

-That's how I started.

-Yeah.

0:16:320:16:34

I've never looked back.

0:16:340:16:35

So your whole career started from a television advert and here is

0:16:350:16:39

another. We've got another...

0:16:390:16:42

If you can say this word, vacuuming-ing advert.

0:16:420:16:46

# It's all you have to do

0:16:490:16:51

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

0:16:510:16:54

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

0:16:540:16:57

BOTH: # Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

0:16:570:17:00

# Remember what to do

0:17:000:17:02

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

0:17:020:17:05

Ha-ha, you've always got to put the freshness back into your carpet

0:17:050:17:08

-and, do you know what?

-What?

0:17:080:17:09

When this advert was playing all over the country,

0:17:090:17:12

we didn't even have a vacuum cleaner.

0:17:120:17:14

No. And I was so amazed that people were

0:17:140:17:17

-so excited...

-Yeah.

-..about cleaning their carpets.

0:17:170:17:20

But what made it even worse was that you could get talcum powder,

0:17:200:17:24

sprinkle it on your carpet, on your dirty carpet, make it dirtier

0:17:240:17:27

and then... Why didn't you just clean the carpet?

0:17:270:17:29

Yeah, what if you didn't have a Hoover?

0:17:290:17:32

I mean, you were at home not having a Hoover,

0:17:320:17:34

putting the Shake n' Vac down, covered in talc.

0:17:340:17:36

I can't see the telly.

0:17:360:17:38

We've got the Shake n' Vac, but we haven't got a Hoover. Oh, bless.

0:17:380:17:42

This is one of the best known adverts of all time.

0:17:420:17:46

Never before had anyone been so happy to vacuum

0:17:460:17:50

and Jenny Logan brought an energy to the role that has

0:17:500:17:53

since become lodged in the minds of anyone

0:17:530:17:55

who lived through the '80s.

0:17:550:17:57

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

0:17:570:18:00

The catchy tune has stood the test of time for over 35 years.

0:18:000:18:05

In 2010, the jingle was rerecorded

0:18:050:18:08

by pop sensation...Jedward,

0:18:080:18:12

who were born a decade after the advert was first released.

0:18:120:18:15

Pop-tastic!

0:18:150:18:17

She looks so happy...

0:18:170:18:19

-Oh, yeah, you have to do a little dance.

-..so happy.

0:18:190:18:21

You know, I mean, I thought we could... As a homage to that,

0:18:210:18:25

pay tribute to it, you know, this afternoon.

0:18:250:18:28

I've got...

0:18:280:18:30

You haven't got Shake n' Vac?!

0:18:300:18:32

I can't give it to you like that.

0:18:320:18:33

You always have to hold things like this.

0:18:330:18:35

Oh, my...! Do you know? I've never...

0:18:350:18:37

-Huh! It...

-I've got the Hoover.

0:18:370:18:40

This is actually...

0:18:400:18:44

We're going to get you doing a bit of Shake n' Vac for us now.

0:18:440:18:49

Well, you have to acknowledge that this place is a bit pongy.

0:18:490:18:53

Yeah. Here we go, let's do the song.

0:18:530:18:56

BOTH: # Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

0:18:560:18:59

I've broke it! You hold that, I'll hold that.

0:18:590:19:02

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

0:19:020:19:04

-You're the singer.

-Whoa, thank God, that's why you stick to comedy.

0:19:040:19:07

Cor blimey, that was awful singing.

0:19:070:19:11

-At least the freshness is back.

-There you go.

0:19:110:19:14

-I have to say...

-It does smell good.

-It has livened it up a bit

0:19:140:19:16

and got us out of our chair, and a little bit of exercise there.

0:19:160:19:20

Yeah, because I love an ad that we could sing along, all right.

0:19:200:19:22

That's the key to an advert - it makes you remember things.

0:19:220:19:25

One of my best adverts I can remember, as well,

0:19:250:19:27

because we love biscuits in our house.

0:19:270:19:30

My parents were into Rich Tea, I was into...

0:19:300:19:33

-My dad was into Jacob's Cream Crackers.

-No Digestive?

0:19:330:19:36

-No Digestives, no. Jammie Dodgers.

-Ah, yes.

-Yeah.

0:19:360:19:39

-An, of course...

-Custard creams?

-Custard Creams, yeah.

0:19:390:19:42

-..Bourbons.

-Bourbons, yes.

0:19:420:19:44

And the favourite, right, Ginger Nuts.

0:19:440:19:47

-Your favourite?

-Yeah. Do you remember the advert?

-No, no.

0:19:470:19:51

# I'm a Jamaican ginger grower and I'm very proud to say

0:19:510:19:54

# I grow the finest ginger In the world today

0:19:540:19:56

# You pick the best and packet them

0:19:560:19:58

# McVitie's come to buy it

0:19:580:20:00

# You snap into a McVitie's Ginger Nut

0:20:000:20:01

# The taste is Jamaican ginger

0:20:010:20:04

# The world's best is waiting for you

0:20:040:20:06

# I knows it I grows it. #

0:20:060:20:08

Stephen K Amos is available for advertisements.

0:20:080:20:11

There it is.

0:20:110:20:13

That was brilliant, that deserves a round of applaud.

0:20:130:20:16

Thank you very much. I'll take that.

0:20:160:20:18

I'll do round of applause, there you go.

0:20:180:20:20

What did to your mum and dad enjoy watching?

0:20:250:20:27

My dad... As I said, my dad liked nature programmes,

0:20:270:20:31

anything that Dickie Attenborough produced, loved them.

0:20:310:20:36

Anything about the world as well.

0:20:360:20:38

-Mum, on the other hand, was all about glitz and glamour.

-Oh, right!

0:20:380:20:42

-Variety shows...

-Yeah?

-Danny La Rue.

-Ah-ha!

-Oh, my God.

0:20:420:20:47

Well, have a little look at this. Here's the man, Dan.

0:20:470:20:51

# Down the road there lives a man

0:20:510:20:53

# I'd like you all to know

0:20:530:20:55

# He grew a great big marrow for the local flower show

0:20:550:20:59

# Now when the news got round of it

0:20:590:21:01

# They came from far and wide

0:21:010:21:03

# But when they saw the size of it

0:21:030:21:09

# Everybody cried

0:21:130:21:15

# Oh what a beauty

0:21:170:21:20

# I've never seen one as big as that before

0:21:200:21:25

# Oh what a beauty

0:21:250:21:28

# Why it must be two foot long or maybe more

0:21:280:21:32

# Now it's such a lovely colour Nice and round and fat

0:21:320:21:37

# And I've never seen a marrow quite as big as that

0:21:370:21:40

# Oh what a beauty

0:21:400:21:43

# I've never seen one as big as that before. #

0:21:430:21:47

-So this is something your mum enjoyed?

-My mum loved that.

0:21:480:21:52

To be honest, I think she missed out the word drag

0:21:520:21:55

because she was genuinely convinced that Danny La Rue was a woman.

0:21:550:21:59

-I worked with Danny La Rue.

-Oh, wow.

0:21:590:22:01

I worked with him, I did seven pantos with him,

0:22:010:22:05

and he really was a legend.

0:22:050:22:07

I saw him when he was... When I was seven and he was

0:22:070:22:11

starring at the Palace Theatre,

0:22:110:22:12

and Danny La Rue would do 22 weeks there.

0:22:120:22:15

I went there and sat right up in the gods

0:22:150:22:17

and I was seven years old, and I said to my mum and dad...

0:22:170:22:20

They said, "Did you enjoy the show?"

0:22:200:22:22

I said, "One day, I'm going to marry that woman."

0:22:220:22:25

Danny would always want me to tell that story.

0:22:250:22:29

But, no, he was a very kind man, very gentle, very quiet man,

0:22:290:22:33

of course, once he got into the gear...

0:22:330:22:35

I think even then he, sort of...

0:22:350:22:37

He doesn't mind me saying it now,

0:22:370:22:39

but he was past his sell-by date slightly,

0:22:390:22:42

but when he was a young man, you honestly...

0:22:420:22:46

He was the most beautiful woman you ever saw.

0:22:460:22:49

And the clothes, you know?

0:22:490:22:51

Yes, the costumes were amazing and,

0:22:510:22:53

in fact, I think he was the first

0:22:530:22:55

drag artist I ever saw

0:22:550:22:58

and, also, one who could perform and sing live, which was quite rare.

0:22:580:23:03

The amount of attention to detail that went into the clothes,

0:23:030:23:07

the hair, the banter...

0:23:070:23:09

Really, really quite something special.

0:23:090:23:11

Do you enjoy these sort of shows?

0:23:110:23:13

I suppose we did, in a way, because, as I say, it's a variety of stuff.

0:23:130:23:18

-You get singing, maybe you get some...

-Comedy.

0:23:180:23:21

-..comedy...

-Magic.

-..maybe some magic.

0:23:210:23:23

All, kind of... Something we could all enjoy as a family entertainment.

0:23:230:23:27

It was in the era where variety was alive and well.

0:23:270:23:30

You know, from the mid-'70s to the mid-'80s,

0:23:300:23:34

when a lot of variety stuff was on, including the Royal Variety show.

0:23:340:23:38

We watched it religiously every year.

0:23:380:23:41

And then we wind on 30 years...

0:23:410:23:44

-and you're on it.

-And I get to be on it. Who'd have thought?

0:23:440:23:46

You know, me as a ten-year-old kid watching the Royal Variety

0:23:460:23:49

with my parents and family, never in a million years did I think,

0:23:490:23:53

"Oh, one day I'll be on that."

0:23:530:23:55

And I was.

0:23:550:23:57

I love doing this job, folks,

0:24:030:24:04

and I swear to God...

0:24:040:24:05

Let me tell you a bit about myself first.

0:24:050:24:07

I come from quite a big family

0:24:070:24:09

and as kids my dad tried to think of ways to keep us occupied.

0:24:090:24:12

His solution was to get my mum pregnant eight more times.

0:24:120:24:15

LAUGHTER

0:24:150:24:16

Car journeys were a nightmare.

0:24:160:24:18

I have a twin sister, she is my best friend.

0:24:180:24:20

However, I get asked two questions on a regular basis,

0:24:200:24:22

one of them is, "Are you identical?"

0:24:220:24:25

LAUGHTER

0:24:250:24:28

Oh! What was I wearing?!

0:24:280:24:30

Go on, Stephen.

0:24:300:24:33

The London I grew up in is very different to the London that it is now, right?

0:24:330:24:36

Because I grew up in a time where the young people... There's a 90-year-old...

0:24:360:24:39

Is there a student here somewhere? Is it you, son? Hello, how old are you?

0:24:390:24:43

-19.

-19. What year were you born?

-'88.

0:24:430:24:45

1988.

0:24:450:24:48

Did you hear that silence? LAUGHTER

0:24:480:24:51

That's called jealousy.

0:24:510:24:53

There are people in this room with underpants and socks older than you.

0:24:530:24:58

You know who you are.

0:25:000:25:01

How does it feel watching it?

0:25:010:25:03

-Do you know what? My heart has stopped...

-Really?

0:25:030:25:05

I'm not even joking.

0:25:050:25:07

Oh, my goodness! People make an effort, they all wear their

0:25:070:25:10

dicky bows and their DJs

0:25:100:25:13

and they paid quite a lot of money to sit there,

0:25:130:25:16

and you've got four minutes to, kind of, get them and they...

0:25:160:25:19

For me, it wasn't my target audience

0:25:190:25:21

because those people don't normally go to comedy clubs.

0:25:210:25:23

What was your mum and dad's thoughts on you doing a Royal

0:25:230:25:26

when you went back?

0:25:260:25:28

I kid you not, I'd been doing stand-up for about ten years,

0:25:280:25:31

my parents had never seen me do a live gig before.

0:25:310:25:34

I did a couple of warm-up gigs and my parents came.

0:25:340:25:38

It's about 4,500 people and so they came and they

0:25:380:25:41

were sitting in the stalls, and I was like, "Can I just say...?"

0:25:410:25:43

Halfway through the show...

0:25:430:25:45

I was nervous and people were backstage going,

0:25:450:25:47

"Your going to do your jokes about them? But they're here." "Yeah, I've nothing to hide."

0:25:470:25:51

So halfway through the show, I just went, "Can I just say, folks, my

0:25:510:25:54

"mum and dad are sitting there?"

0:25:540:25:56

The crowd went electric. Mum stood up, took a bow. She's like that, "Yeah."

0:25:560:26:00

-Like the Queen.

-"Yep, that's my son, my son."

0:26:000:26:02

Had never seen me before, "My son."

0:26:020:26:05

When I got to do the Royal Variety show,

0:26:050:26:07

afterwards, as you know, you meet whoever's there,

0:26:070:26:09

be it the Queen or Prince Charles,

0:26:090:26:11

and in the line-up there's a picture of me with the Queen,

0:26:110:26:15

that is now pride of place in my mum's living room.

0:26:150:26:18

-Oh, isn't that lovely?

-Yeah.

0:26:180:26:20

Going full circle now, what do you watch now?

0:26:240:26:26

-What do you watch on TV?

-Do you know what?

0:26:260:26:29

I've got a soft spot for soaps

0:26:290:26:31

because, obviously, I travel quite a bit with this job,

0:26:310:26:34

which I'm very grateful for and so the things that

0:26:340:26:37

I watch now are soaps, you can catch up on them because they

0:26:370:26:40

-tend to repeat them.

-Yeah.

0:26:400:26:41

And since I was a kid, you know, I've liked things like Dallas,

0:26:410:26:45

Dynasty, Knots Landing, all the dramatic soaps,

0:26:450:26:47

all the big money American soaps.

0:26:470:26:50

So I've come full circle and it's EastEnders, now it's Corrie,

0:26:500:26:54

which is just hilarious, do you know?

0:26:540:26:56

Is that what you watch it for? To have a good laugh?

0:26:560:26:58

-Well, Coronation Street, yes.

-Really?

0:26:580:27:00

That's probably the best soap out there.

0:27:000:27:02

It's got humour, it's got pathos, it's got, you know,

0:27:020:27:06

real deep storylines as well.

0:27:060:27:08

Would you, if you could wave a magic wand, would you love to be in Corrie?

0:27:080:27:12

I'd love to do a season in Corrie, yeah. Can you imagine?

0:27:120:27:16

-I think you'd be brilliant.

-I'd even try my hand at putting on

0:27:160:27:19

some sort of northern, sort of, twang...

0:27:190:27:21

-if that's not too bad.

-You're awful!

0:27:210:27:24

I don't know where that's from.

0:27:240:27:26

-Well, I have got no idea, but I'll give it a go.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:27:260:27:29

-Yeah. Weatherfield.

-Yeah.

0:27:290:27:30

Can you imagine me being the landlord of Rovers Return?

0:27:300:27:33

-I think you'd be brilliant.

-Thank you.

0:27:330:27:35

I'll even wear high heels, a blonde wig in homage to Julie Goodyear.

0:27:350:27:39

We would love to see that.

0:27:390:27:41

-There's people watching this now going, "Hmmm."

-"We can make that happen."

-Yeah.

0:27:410:27:45

-I think you've been a wonderful guest, you really have.

-Thank you very much. Thank you, Brian.

0:27:450:27:49

Very funny and I want to thank you for doing the show.

0:27:490:27:52

At this point, we ask our guests to pick a theme tune to go out with.

0:27:520:27:55

What would you like to go out with?

0:27:550:27:57

Well, let's pay homage to the lovely Roy Castle,

0:27:570:28:00

-let's do Record Breakers.

-Yeah, Record Breakers.

0:28:000:28:03

Many thanks to Stephen and many thanks to you for watching

0:28:030:28:05

The TV That Made Me.

0:28:050:28:07

See you next time, bye-bye!

0:28:070:28:10

# Dedication that's all you need

0:28:100:28:16

# If you wanna be the best and you wanna burn up the rest

0:28:160:28:19

# Then dedication's what you need Dum-dum-dum. #

0:28:190:28:24

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