Stephen K Amos The TV That Made Me

Telly, that magic box in the corner.

It gives us access to a million different worlds,

all from the comfort of our sofa.

In this series, I'm going to journey through the fantastic

world of TV with some of our favourite celebrities.

They've chosen the precious TV moments that shed light...

Pick that one out.

It's called scone pizza.

..on the stories of their lives.

I used to go mental if a swimmer was on.

It would just, like, make my life.

'Some are funny...'

-Oh... Ooh, sha-bob.

-Oh, my word!

-Some...

-There's been a murder.

..are surprising.

My mother didn't laugh that much. It was, sort of, hard going but,

God, she laughed at that.

Some are inspiring...

In all of those programmes, in different ways,

there's something special going on.

..and many are deeply moving.

Oh!

The death of John F Kennedy...

Now we can't imagine what it was like to receive such

devastating news then.

So come watch with us

as we hand-pick the vintage telly that helped

turn our much-loved stars into the people they are today.

Welcome to The TV That Made Me.

My guest today is a star stand-up on TV

and the international comedy circuit.

He's also a writer, presenter and actor.

He's famous for his easy charm and honest wit - sounds like me, really.

It's Stephen K Amos,

who is the biggest thing to come out of Tooting since Citizen Smith.

The TV that shaped him

includes two little piggies with

the squeakiest voices in show biz...

MUSIC: Pinky and Perky

..a record-breaking children's show...

-Well, dance away, then...

-Right.

-..and we'll watch.

..and a series of sinister stories with more twists than

a bag of pretzels.

The child was trying to warn me.

It can only be the one and only Stephen K Amos...who's here.

Are you excited about this, this trip down memory lane?

I'm very excited. I can't wait to see what you've got in store.

Well, I'm going to take you on this journey that made you into,

-possibly, the person you are today...

-Oh, hope so.

..with regards to television.

-Because I love what you've done with the flat. I mean, it's amazing.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

It already takes me back, looking at the TV and, what looks like, a gramophone.

Because I actually do have my parents' gramophone from back

-in the day in my living room today.

-Really?

-Oh, yes.

-Oh, right.

-It's got a drinks cabinet that lights up when you open it.

-No!

-Yes!

And it's got a padded velvet back

-and it's got the wireless radio tuner thing.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And at the top, you lift it up and up comes the turntable.

I have got flat envy, do you know that? I really have.

So we're going take you on this path, but first up we're going

to have a look at what it was like to be the young Stephen K Amos.

Stephen K Amos and his twin sister Stella were born in London in 1967.

Theirs was a large family

and a family who didn't stay put in any one place for long.

-Your family, they moved a lot, mate.

-We did move...

Ha-ha-ha-ha! You have done your research! Yeah, we moved quite a bit

because, I think, my parents, in the early days, thought of

-themselves as property developers..

-Oh, right.

-..and we thought we were

in the Witness Protection Programme because they moved around...

I went to about five different primary schools and three different

-secondary schools.

-Really?

-Yeah, not only did they move around a lot,

-there was a lot of us in the family.

-How many of you?

-Eight kids.

-Eight...!

-It's not necessary.

Because you had to have a voice in the family household. I mean, there's nothing worse,

sitting around the dinner table, all these kids, all of us, my mum

leaning over to my brother, pointing to me and going, "Who is that?

"I don't recognise him."

"I'm your son. I'm the son, I'm the middle one."

-So you had to do something to have your voice heard...

-Yeah.

..and mine happened to be comedy.

-I'm going to take you to your first choice.

-OK.

This is something, well, something from way, way back,

-one of your earliest memories of television...

-Oh, yeah.

..in the Amos household.

I'm not going to say any more, except Pinky and Perky.

# We belong together

# It's you for me and me for you

# Just like one and one make two... #

TV Centre there. There they are.

# And still forever

# Together we will be. #

Do you know what? I think one of the reasons why I was really,

kind of, into this was because I was a twin.

-So there was me and my twin sister, Pinky and Perky.

-Yeah.

-I thought they were two little lads.

-Oh, did you?

-Yeah.

You see, I assumed they were a boy and girl, I didn't know for a fact.

Pinky and Perky, the twin boy pig puppets, were created

and controlled by Jan and Vlasta Dalibor, a Czechoslovakian

husband and wife team who emigrated to the UK in 1948.

They wanted to turn their piglets into pop stars,

and the singing duo released dozens of singles

over their 14-year history on our screens,

but it wasn't until 1993 that they bagged their first hit record,

reaching number 47 in our charts.

# Reet Petite The finest girl

# You'll ever wanna meet

# Well, have you ever seen a girl...? #

Pinky and Perky, that takes me back a long, long time.

Pinky was in red, Perky was in blue, I believe.

You see, I never knew that, you know...?

Well, how could you know that? It's black and white, you know?

Well, even up until today, I didn't...

Well, maybe a few years ago I found out that there were definite colours,

which is what I probably think has led into that whole thing about,

when you have babies, boys get blue,

-girls get pink and all that kind of...

-Yeah.

..I think it's because of this nonsense.

But that's how we were influenced when we were kids,

something as simple as that.

Were you intrigued how they got that...that sort of voice?

Yeah, completely. I thought, you know, as a kid,

that is how they spoke, that's how they moved.

And I think one of the

hooks of this programme was that they did do what

they're doing now, they'd sing a popular song

and then that goes into your consciousness as a child.

I thought they were the ones who had the big hits, I really did.

I even thought they were playing those instruments.

The voices were iconic. I mean, that really did,

sort of, propel them into whatever world they went into.

-But I thought we could recreate this now...

-OK.

..recreate the Pinky and Perky voice.

We've got a couple of these.

Would you like the beret, so would you like to be Perky, or shall I?

I think you should. Do you know why?

-In homage to my sister, I'll play the girl.

-All right, then.

OK, hold on, I've got it.

-There you go.

-That works.

-Do you think so?

-That works.

And then we've got the Pinky and Perky voice.

-AS PINKY AND PERKY

-Hello, I'm Pinky.

You've just got to say, Hello, Perky.

-Hello, Pinky.

-Hello, Perky.

-Shall we sing a song?

-Yes, let's sing a song.

Shall we sing our hit single, The Grand Old Duke of York?

Yeah. All right, then.

BOTH: # Oh The Grand Old Duke Of York

# He had 10,000 men

# He marched them up to the top of the hill

# And he marched them down again

# And when they were up they were up

# And when they were down they were down

# And when they were only halfway up

# They were neither up nor down. #

-Yeah!

-Whoa! My goodness! Let's release that, number one!

-Yeah, Rihanna, you've got nothing on me.

-Yeah.

And Pinky and Perky aren't the only non-human pop stars to

invade our Great British pop charts over the years.

# The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we... #

The Wombles had the first of many

Womble-related hits in 1974

with The Wombling Song.

# I wish I could fly way up to the sky

# But I can't

-# You can

-I can't... #

In 1983, Orville became everyone's favourite nappy-wearing duck

when he reached number four with Orville's Song,

featuring his human helper,

the late, great Keith Harris.

MUSIC: Rat Rapping by R Rat and S Jeffries

Way before Eminem and Kanye, 1984 was the Year of the Rat,

with Roland Rat scoring a top 20 hit with Rat Rapping.

Yeah, Rat fans!

# Blobby Oh Mr Blobby... #

And no list would be complete without the one and only Mr Blobby,

who brought us this self-titled single in 1993,

which, perhaps, surprisingly went

all the way to the number one spot.

Cut to the chase, your living room, what was it like?

The living room, I don't think it was typical for that era,

we had four or five massive leather sofas with this, sort of...

It looked like a coaster on the back, like what you get on trains,

you can't put any grease, or whatever, on the arms,

on the backs.

-And we had a three-tier marble table.

-Ooh, marble!

But only like this big, like coffee tables, but they were intertwined

and had these, kind of, hideous brass legs.

We had the gramophone in the corner, that was really lovely,

and I think we also had a plastic, sort of, runway

so you couldn't mark the carpets,

even though we were never allowed to wear shoes in the living room.

-And ornaments, my mum loved ornaments everywhere.

-We've got a few.

A little homage to that.

I think my mum would absolutely go insane if she saw these.

Although, she liked them for the house.

Although, I do remember one Christmas,

I bought her an ornament, I think it was a horse

carrying a barrel, she was not impressed.

-She was like...

-So you bought that as a Christmas present and she didn't like that?

Yeah, she was like, "Have you bought this for me or the house?"

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-And we had the TV and no remote control.

In the old days, I was the remote control, yeah?

And on the odd occasion, I was also the aerial.

My dad's like, "Stand there, hold it higher, higher, stay there."

You never watched a programme, just standing there like that.

Back in the day, my parents had one of those... Do you remember these?

-These little plastic screens that went over your TV...

-Yeah, go on.

..and they were one colour, it was red,

-to give the illusion that you had a colour television.

-Terrible!

-Do you remember that?

-Kids don't know what we had to suffer!

They've got no idea.

-It's like a blur, was it?

-It was a blur in the end.

I was like, "Oh, what colour is it?"

And Dad's like, "It's colour television."

We didn't see him stick it on. It's colour television!

We're going to have a look at your next choice now,

something that really got the family excited...

-Yeah.

-..and me too.

-Oh, good.

-Yeah, Record Breakers and the brilliant Roy Castle.

-Oh!

There he is there.

# Dedication's what you need Dum-dum-dum...

BOTH: # Dedication's What you need..

# If you wanna be a Record Breaker. #

The good thing about watching this programme as a family...

-Because he used to try a lot of the stuff himself.

-Yeah, yeah.

Are there any records on tap dancing?

Well, no, not really.

The nearest we've heard of is

a heel-stomping record in

Flamenco dancing.

It was set in September 1967 in Australia by a man

called Solero de Jerez.

And that's the power of television, you see?

When you see someone that you admire doing a challenge and you think,

"Maybe I could give something a go."

-Right, well, dance away, then...

-Right.

-..and we'll watch.

17, he's done 17 there, in that second section.

Go on, Roy!

24, that's fantastic! He did 24. That's enough, you've shattered it.

Well, that was 24, which is 1,440 taps in a minute.

So you are a record breaker!

APPLAUSE

Without a doubt, the greatest all-round entertainer.

All-round, without doubt. He could put his hand to anything and do it.

Yeah, he'd give it a go, didn't he?

And that's what, kind of, encouraged us to think we could do anything.

Did you ever want to see just how big the world's biggest seed is,

or how many people it's possible to summersault over?

Well, if you did, then you probably

watched Record Breakers.

And the programme almost broke a record itself,

as one of the longest running children's series

in British television history,

running for 29 years and seven days.

Did it make you realise that ordinary people could do

extraordinary things?

That's the point. It meant that, because... You saw him

and you knew he was a professional,

but then he was also encouraging people, ordinary people,

to try and achieve something.

And, even though it's something that can, maybe, be seen a bit as silly or

frivolous, it's still an achievement in doing something

and it gets recognised. Everyone, back in those days,

had a Guinness Book of Records, do you know what I mean?

Everybody had those.

-You...

-Oh!

-..have got one right now.

Look at that!

-Oh, my goodness!

-Record Breakers, have a little look.

-Ha-ha!

Isn't it wonderful, isn't it? Isn't it just from a different era?

And I've got here, just to put you to the test, some records.

Some records. Well, I want to play a little game now, true or false?

Actually, I've got three questions from that Record Breakers annual.

Here we go, here's the first one...

In 1973, Margaret Featherstone became a record breaker in what

kind of noisy competition?

Eh... Noise, possibly whistling, or humming?

Erm, shouting?

Shouting, it was indeed!

She shouted the word suey at 106 decibels.

She won the very first women's world record

shouting championships in Scarborough.

In Scarborough. Suey? What does suey mean?

God knows... Try saying it loud.

Suey!

Has she lost someone, a cat? Suey!

-Where are you, Suey?! Tea time!

-Where's Sweep?

Here's another one.

In 1976, Roy Sullivan became a world record breaker by being

hit by lightning how many times over 34 years?

-Over 34 years?

-Poor old Roy.

-Yeah, very unlucky man. 34 years?

Erm, let's say twice a year for 34...

Shall we go there?

No, we won't go there!

OK, let's say...OK, four.

Did he live under a tree?

From 68 to four!

"Twice a year... All right, then, four."

-Erm, six times.

-So, no, you weren't far away.

-I know.

In 1975, Connie Baker of the USA

became a record breaker by swinging how many hula hoops

-round her waist at one time?

-I would say, because I've seen...

-They're quite big, them hula hoops...

-Yeah, yeah.

-57.

58!

That is unbelievable! Congratulations!

I have nothing to give you, except your very own

Record Breakers Annual...

-Oh, my goodness.

-..from 1976.

-Wow.

-Yeah, there he is.

-God!

-It's like the evolution of man, there, isn't it?

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What were you not allowed to watch on television?

-Oh, my god, if any bit of flesh...

-Yeah.

..was on TV, that was it.

That was it, you had to get out of the room?

-No, Mum would leap, like... She could be in the kitchen...

-A gazelle.

..she could be upstairs, you'll be watching even an advert,

a holiday advert, you know, somebody in a bikini...

She's down there, like a gazelle,

changing the channel, you know? "Dirty, dirty."

How did this affect the Stephen Amos growing up?

Well, I can't wear a bikini now, can I?

The thing is, I don't know how it was for many families,

but if anything sexual was on the TV, you know,

we're not that kind of family, we didn't talk about things.

You know, I never had the talk for example, you know,

"The talk. The talk." I had no idea what you did.

Couldn't watch anything like that, if it's not educational,

if it's not entertaining, you can't watch it.

Well, this is something you weren't allowed to watch, you were sent

up to your room and...I'm sorry, your mother's had a word with me

and said you can't watch it.

-There's naked ladies in silhouettes, it's wrong.

-Yeah, these were...

This was one of the...yeah.

Look, as long as you don't say anything to her...

-I won't say anything, if you don't.

-There we go.

-Yes.

-Tales of the Unexpected.

So did you ever get a sneaky peak at this or...?

Yeah, I did, yeah.

You did get to watch this eventually?

Well, yeah, when I got older, I'd get to watch it.

But when we were sent to bed, you know,

Mum and Dad would be on the couch and I'd be sneaking my head

through the little door, like that, having a good look.

Because the good thing about this show was that every single episode

was a stand-alone story and so...

And sometimes it was quite scary.

Despite being made on a relatively modest budget,

this long-running series often featured huge Hollywood stars,

such as...

The public couldn't get enough of this spine-tingling stuff.

You've got to help me. Don't you see what it is? It's a spell.

Like this one,

a creepy tale of a newlywed, who thinks her house is being

haunted by the ghost of her husband's first wife.

There is an evil spirit in this place that wants to get rid of me.

-It is eerie, isn't it?

-Yeah.

You know? You can imagine getting a bit spooked out by this,

-especially as a young kid.

-I know.

-Even the lighting.

-Yeah.

"Prince of Darkness, I make me a sign..."

-Ooh!

-I think we know where it's going, don't we?

-Yeah.

"Death in the morning shall he know."

-Oh, my goodness! See what I mean?

-Yeah!

Every single episode was like, "Arg! Ooh!"

Do you think something like this would have given you nightmares?

-Oh, absolutely.

-Really?

-Yes.

Many nightmares and...that's probably why I'm not a big

fan of horror movies or sci-fi, or fantasy at all.

No, I like things that are a bit more real.

-What did the Amos family watch together?

-We used...

Well, my dad was a big fan of nature programmes, you know,

he loves anything to do with animals and seeing how they live.

-Mum was the one who loved, sort of, variety and big shows...

-Yeah.

..and any programme that featured a black family or a black

character, suddenly the whole family were like, voom, hey!

Mum would call out,

"Children, there's a black person on the television, come quickly!"

And we'd all gather round, mouths open, going, "Oh, wow!"

Shall we have a little look at this then?

Edward, could I have a word with you...in the kitchen?

The kitchen? We've got guests.

-It's personal.

-Annie, Susan has come to visit us.

Now, obviously, because of her...

Well, because she is what she is... Thank you.

Can you believe it?

Now, then, what is it?

Thomas and Susan are married.

Oh, my god!

AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

Thomas, what have you done?

-Dad, you've got yourself a daughter-in-law.

-Well...

Well, really this is... This is something that we

should have been prepared for.

It was difficult for us, Mr Simson. We didn't know if you'd understand.

Understand? Of course we understand.

I understand it's bloody ridiculous.

AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

-Look at the big laughs on that line.

-Yeah.

-Whoa!

It makes me feel quite sick inside, a bit,

because it may have been a reflection of the times and one of the ways

people address and deal with what was happening in the country

at the time, you know?

Something that's never been seen before, you know?

People of different cultures, different backgrounds getting together.

So, for us, watching this as a family, we could really empathise

-with the young black actress there.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And particularly when we saw more of this programme,

where the parents come in, and it's always...

Whenever these, sort of, '70s shows,

when they deal with race in this way,

it's always the female figure of whoever she's married to,

like the white guy or the black husband...

The female matriarch of that household seems to be the one of the

voice of reason, the one that's, kind of, trying to diffuse the situation.

And it's always the male figure that's either, kind of,

bigoted and has got these...

Who maybe represents a view that was prevalent in society.

My point now, when I look back at this,

is that was there not a way where we could laugh at that

but not in such a blatant and ignorant way?

Maybe that's what it was all about, though.

Dad, has it ever occurred to you, you don't have to

-do anything about it? I mean, it's our problem.

-No, it's not.

I mean... What are the neighbours going to say?

LAUGHTER

Of, for God's sake, don't give me any of that, Dad. To hell with the neighbours.

I think what is interesting is that the white people

in that scene are ignorant, are coming over stupid,

or is it because that's the way we're looking at it now?

Well, exactly. That's why...

When the dad had that first massive laugh, you can't quite tell whether

people were laughing at him or laughing because it was a funny joke.

That's why, when I say, when I do comedy now,

watching programmes like this didn't inspire me.

So do you think shows like Mixed Blessings broke down barriers

by having black actors?

That's a very interesting point because, I think,

obviously, they did because black characters,

black actors were invisible, unlike America, which had, you know, the

whole big civil rights movement. And if you watch American TV now,

there's black sitcoms, Hispanic, there's loads of things.

So maybe those programmes of the '70s were just

a reflection of the times, which doesn't, necessarily, make it good.

Like, for example, before we started going to school, you know,

preschool... My first day at primary school, I went into the classroom

and came straight back home and said,

"Mum, apparently there's a black boy in my class,

"I can't find him anywhere."

My mum's like, "It's you."

-Because in our household it was never a thing.

-Yeah.

And then, also, whenever these programmes came out, I think

they came out at the weekend, so you'd go to school on the Monday

and whatever term was used to describe either the black girl

or the black father, or vice versa the other side,

you'd hear those in the playground. That was, kind of, acceptable.

That's why, when I started doing my stand-up,

I was playing with perceptions, how you see people.

I used to start off pretending I was a Nigerian person, "But the things

"I said were the funny things. It wasn't the way you said it."

So I'd say, "You're wearing glasses. Why are you wearing glasses?"

"Are you defying the Lord? The Lord gave you

"vision at a limited rate.

"You defy him by wanting to see more."

-And that's the joke...

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-..as opposed to me going,

"You are wearing glasses," or something.

Stephen, you talk about shows that had black actors in it,

how excited you were to watch those sorts of shows.

What other shows were you excited about watching that

focused on black actors?

Well, when I look back, you can't ignore the miniseries that was called

Roots by Alex Haley.

I mean, that was groundbreaking for a young kid like me

watching that with my whole family.

It was on, you know, every week for about six or seven weeks

and it told the story about this guy's family history, his family tree

from slavery to the present day, stuff I hadn't learned at school.

It was so amazing and moving and it really, kind of, made me think

and realise the differences that other people had to go

through before we got here, do you know what I mean?

Your name is Toby.

I want to hear you say it.

Your name is Toby.

You're going to learn to say your name. Let me hear you say it.

What's your name?

Kunta.

Kunta Kinte.

And so that was very ground-breaking because we got to school

on the Monday and everybody was talking about it, it was so powerful.

That was one of the first things I'd ever seen which was

an entirely majority black cast with a very important story.

So that was very important to the family? Did they all sit down and watch that?

Oh, God, yeah, we all sat down and watched it together, just transfixed.

So did that give you a feeling of acceptance, you know,

-them representing you?

-That...

The word you used their, "Representing,"

is so important because that's what it was like.

It was like, you're representing, brilliant, excellent.

And it meant that you were visible and visible in a way that wasn't

derisory. It was more of a celebration and that's why...

Even watching Lenny from back in the day, you know,

all his early TV stuff, I was like, "Wow, go on, you're representing."

The guys behind the Real McCoy, you know, showing us that, yeah,

we can on there, we can be funny - groundbreaking.

That must have been huge weight on those performers' shoulders

thinking that they're representing a whole generation of young

black kids, you know?

Even when I look back

and think about watching TV on a very basic level, whenever you saw

the news and it had Trevor McDonald came on, we were transfixed.

"Oh, that's Trevor!" And Mum was just like, "Oh, his sultry voice,

"I want to marry him. Why did I marry...?

Talking to my dad, "Why did I marry you? I could be with him." Brilliant.

Do you feel that pressure?

Do you know? When I first started, I didn't think I would

because I had this rose-tinted view that everyone

was on a equal level playing field.

Whenever I go out now, I get stopped by young black youths, male,

female, go, "Yeah, well done, Steve, representing."

That's the word you get all the time,

even till today, "Representing."

So I'm very much aware of what I'm doing and the choices that I make.

-Does that influence your comedy?

-It makes me be a bit more real.

When I first started doing comedy, it was all about jazz hands,

"Look at me, I'm funny, ha-ha."

But in the last few years, I've been talking about stuff that

really matters to me and that's where I'm at.

Did you, sort of, get into comedy quite late?

I did get into comedy quite late.

This is the genuine story about how I got into comedy.

You may remember, quite a few years ago, I think it may have been '95,

when Hoover did a promotion,

an advertising promotion in newspapers and TV,

if you bought one of their Hoovers,

you got two return tickets to America, New York or Florida.

-So off you went to America?

-I went to America.

I was seeing a friend of mine who lived there

and, at the same time, there was another friend of his from England

and we were there for a week and she was like, "You're really funny.

"Why don't you to comedy?"

I'm like, "Don't be silly. I'm funny, you know, one-on-one."

She went, "No, no, I'm running a comedy club in England,

"come and do some stuff."

And I got back to England a couple of months later and I called her,

I went, "Were you serious?" And she went, "Yes!"

-That's how I started.

-Yeah.

I've never looked back.

So your whole career started from a television advert and here is

another. We've got another...

If you can say this word, vacuuming-ing advert.

# It's all you have to do

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

BOTH: # Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

# Remember what to do

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

Ha-ha, you've always got to put the freshness back into your carpet

-and, do you know what?

-What?

When this advert was playing all over the country,

we didn't even have a vacuum cleaner.

No. And I was so amazed that people were

-so excited...

-Yeah.

-..about cleaning their carpets.

But what made it even worse was that you could get talcum powder,

sprinkle it on your carpet, on your dirty carpet, make it dirtier

and then... Why didn't you just clean the carpet?

Yeah, what if you didn't have a Hoover?

I mean, you were at home not having a Hoover,

putting the Shake n' Vac down, covered in talc.

I can't see the telly.

We've got the Shake n' Vac, but we haven't got a Hoover. Oh, bless.

This is one of the best known adverts of all time.

Never before had anyone been so happy to vacuum

and Jenny Logan brought an energy to the role that has

since become lodged in the minds of anyone

who lived through the '80s.

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

The catchy tune has stood the test of time for over 35 years.

In 2010, the jingle was rerecorded

by pop sensation...Jedward,

who were born a decade after the advert was first released.

Pop-tastic!

She looks so happy...

-Oh, yeah, you have to do a little dance.

-..so happy.

You know, I mean, I thought we could... As a homage to that,

pay tribute to it, you know, this afternoon.

I've got...

You haven't got Shake n' Vac?!

I can't give it to you like that.

You always have to hold things like this.

Oh, my...! Do you know? I've never...

-Huh! It...

-I've got the Hoover.

This is actually...

We're going to get you doing a bit of Shake n' Vac for us now.

Well, you have to acknowledge that this place is a bit pongy.

Yeah. Here we go, let's do the song.

BOTH: # Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

I've broke it! You hold that, I'll hold that.

# Do the Shake n' Vac and put the freshness back... #

-You're the singer.

-Whoa, thank God, that's why you stick to comedy.

Cor blimey, that was awful singing.

-At least the freshness is back.

-There you go.

-I have to say...

-It does smell good.

-It has livened it up a bit

and got us out of our chair, and a little bit of exercise there.

Yeah, because I love an ad that we could sing along, all right.

That's the key to an advert - it makes you remember things.

One of my best adverts I can remember, as well,

because we love biscuits in our house.

My parents were into Rich Tea, I was into...

-My dad was into Jacob's Cream Crackers.

-No Digestive?

-No Digestives, no. Jammie Dodgers.

-Ah, yes.

-Yeah.

-An, of course...

-Custard creams?

-Custard Creams, yeah.

-..Bourbons.

-Bourbons, yes.

And the favourite, right, Ginger Nuts.

-Your favourite?

-Yeah. Do you remember the advert?

-No, no.

# I'm a Jamaican ginger grower and I'm very proud to say

# I grow the finest ginger In the world today

# You pick the best and packet them

# McVitie's come to buy it

# You snap into a McVitie's Ginger Nut

# The taste is Jamaican ginger

# The world's best is waiting for you

# I knows it I grows it. #

Stephen K Amos is available for advertisements.

There it is.

That was brilliant, that deserves a round of applaud.

Thank you very much. I'll take that.

I'll do round of applause, there you go.

What did to your mum and dad enjoy watching?

My dad... As I said, my dad liked nature programmes,

anything that Dickie Attenborough produced, loved them.

Anything about the world as well.

-Mum, on the other hand, was all about glitz and glamour.

-Oh, right!

-Variety shows...

-Yeah?

-Danny La Rue.

-Ah-ha!

-Oh, my God.

Well, have a little look at this. Here's the man, Dan.

# Down the road there lives a man

# I'd like you all to know

# He grew a great big marrow for the local flower show

# Now when the news got round of it

# They came from far and wide

# But when they saw the size of it

# Everybody cried

# Oh what a beauty

# I've never seen one as big as that before

# Oh what a beauty

# Why it must be two foot long or maybe more

# Now it's such a lovely colour Nice and round and fat

# And I've never seen a marrow quite as big as that

# Oh what a beauty

# I've never seen one as big as that before. #

-So this is something your mum enjoyed?

-My mum loved that.

To be honest, I think she missed out the word drag

because she was genuinely convinced that Danny La Rue was a woman.

-I worked with Danny La Rue.

-Oh, wow.

I worked with him, I did seven pantos with him,

and he really was a legend.

I saw him when he was... When I was seven and he was

starring at the Palace Theatre,

and Danny La Rue would do 22 weeks there.

I went there and sat right up in the gods

and I was seven years old, and I said to my mum and dad...

They said, "Did you enjoy the show?"

I said, "One day, I'm going to marry that woman."

Danny would always want me to tell that story.

But, no, he was a very kind man, very gentle, very quiet man,

of course, once he got into the gear...

I think even then he, sort of...

He doesn't mind me saying it now,

but he was past his sell-by date slightly,

but when he was a young man, you honestly...

He was the most beautiful woman you ever saw.

And the clothes, you know?

Yes, the costumes were amazing and,

in fact, I think he was the first

drag artist I ever saw

and, also, one who could perform and sing live, which was quite rare.

The amount of attention to detail that went into the clothes,

the hair, the banter...

Really, really quite something special.

British TV has a rich tradition of cross-dressing

right through the ages.

The '40s and '50s saw Norman Evans as Fanny Fairbottom,

the lady we knew best over the garden wall.

In turn, this influenced Les Dawson's classic double act with

Roy Barraclough as gurning girls Cissie and Ada.

The '70s saw the Monty Python team getting dolled up

in housecoats and curlers for their viewers' comedy pleasure.

By the '80s and '90s, cross-dressing comedy acts ruled the airwaves,

with Lily Savage and Dame Edna Everage's fame becoming bigger

than their backcombed hairdos.

In the noughties, we were treated to Matt Lucas

and David Walliams in Little Britain.

"I'm a lady."

And bringing us back up-to-date,

Brendan O'Carroll as everyone's favourite Irish

mammy, the gorgeous Mrs Brown.

Do you enjoy these sort of shows?

I suppose we did, in a way, because, as I say, it's a variety of stuff.

-You get singing, maybe you get some...

-Comedy.

-..comedy...

-Magic.

-..maybe some magic.

All, kind of... Something we could all enjoy as a family entertainment.

It was in the era where variety was alive and well.

You know, from the mid-'70s to the mid-'80s,

when a lot of variety stuff was on, including the Royal Variety show.

We watched it religiously every year.

And then we wind on 30 years...

-and you're on it.

-And I get to be on it. Who'd have thought?

You know, me as a ten-year-old kid watching the Royal Variety

with my parents and family, never in a million years did I think,

"Oh, one day I'll be on that."

And I was.

I love doing this job, folks,

and I swear to God...

Let me tell you a bit about myself first.

I come from quite a big family

and as kids my dad tried to think of ways to keep us occupied.

His solution was to get my mum pregnant eight more times.

LAUGHTER

Car journeys were a nightmare.

I have a twin sister, she is my best friend.

However, I get asked two questions on a regular basis,

one of them is, "Are you identical?"

LAUGHTER

Oh! What was I wearing?!

Go on, Stephen.

The London I grew up in is very different to the London that it is now, right?

Because I grew up in a time where the young people... There's a 90-year-old...

Is there a student here somewhere? Is it you, son? Hello, how old are you?

-19.

-19. What year were you born?

-'88.

1988.

Did you hear that silence? LAUGHTER

That's called jealousy.

There are people in this room with underpants and socks older than you.

You know who you are.

How does it feel watching it?

-Do you know what? My heart has stopped...

-Really?

I'm not even joking.

Oh, my goodness! People make an effort, they all wear their

dicky bows and their DJs

and they paid quite a lot of money to sit there,

and you've got four minutes to, kind of, get them and they...

For me, it wasn't my target audience

because those people don't normally go to comedy clubs.

What was your mum and dad's thoughts on you doing a Royal

when you went back?

I kid you not, I'd been doing stand-up for about ten years,

my parents had never seen me do a live gig before.

I did a couple of warm-up gigs and my parents came.

It's about 4,500 people and so they came and they

were sitting in the stalls, and I was like, "Can I just say...?"

Halfway through the show...

I was nervous and people were backstage going,

"Your going to do your jokes about them? But they're here." "Yeah, I've nothing to hide."

So halfway through the show, I just went, "Can I just say, folks, my

"mum and dad are sitting there?"

The crowd went electric. Mum stood up, took a bow. She's like that, "Yeah."

-Like the Queen.

-"Yep, that's my son, my son."

Had never seen me before, "My son."

When I got to do the Royal Variety show,

afterwards, as you know, you meet whoever's there,

be it the Queen or Prince Charles,

and in the line-up there's a picture of me with the Queen,

that is now pride of place in my mum's living room.

-Oh, isn't that lovely?

-Yeah.

And those are the honours, those are the things that parents must be so proud of.

I mean, I've got kids now and just seeing them

in a nativity play is, like, what an event.

But to have a child that then goes on to do a Royal, you know?

That's what made it for me, you know?

I think, for entertainers and I think people...

You know, it's like the World Cup, isn't it?

It's like, when you've been chosen

because you have to be chosen to do a Royal, you know,

it is the acknowledgement by your peers that

you are worthy of performing in front of royalty, you know?

It's quite a weird thing because

traditionally it's such an established show

and everyone does it, you know, at the peak of their profession.

So to be asked to do it and I was bowled,

-I was like, "Really, me?"

-Yeah.

This was, kind of, my break year

because I did the Royal Variety show, Have I Got News For You

and Live at the Apollo

and they all came out, like, within a month of each other.

I did different sets on all of them and people were like,

"Who's this guy? Where's he come from?"

-Not knowing that I've been going since 1994, or whatever.

-Yeah.

It was just, "Bang!"

And how did your life change after this,

sort of, spate of TV appearances?

Well, I'd been doing Edinburgh for a number of years,

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival,

and that year I did a venue called the Edinburgh...

The Pleasance Grand and, in the month of August,

we sold about 20,000 tickets.

And then I went on tour that autumn for the following year

-and we were playing number one theatres.

-Yeah.

You know, I was like, "What?! This is unheard of."

That's because this came at the forefront of when stand-up

was coming back into fashion, if you like.

People were putting on stand-ups on TV, you know, modern, sort of...

Well, not alternative anymore,

but my kind of generation were being invited to come on this sort of show.

But to be playing in a number one theatre which, obviously,

is a huge venue must have been such an honour when these people

are just coming in, in their droves, you know?

I mean, the whole cliche about,

you know, hearing the applause and, you know,

the fact that I can do my stuff

and talk about my experiences

based on my humour, my growing up, race, sexuality...

If people want to come and hear what you want to say,

I think it's so humbling.

-Yeah.

-You know, I'm so grateful that people want to hear what I do

and talk about it because a lot of us have the same experiences, you know?

We've come full circle now. What do you watch now?

-What do you watch on TV?

-Do you know what?

I've got a soft spot for soaps

because, obviously, I travel quite a bit with this job,

which I'm very grateful for and so the things that

I watch now are soaps, you can catch up on them because they

-tend to repeat them.

-Yeah.

And since I was a kid, you know, I've liked things like Dallas,

Dynasty, Knots Landing, all the dramatic soaps,

all the big money American soaps.

So I've come full circle and it's Eastenders, now it's Corrie,

which is just hilarious, do you know?

Is that what you watch it for? To have a good laugh?

-Well, Coronation Street, yes.

-Really?

That's probably the best soap out there.

It's got humour, it's got pathos, it's got, you know,

real deep storylines as well.

Would you, if you could wave a magic wand, would you love to be in Corrie?

I'd love to do a season in Corrie, yeah. Can you imagine?

-I think you'd be brilliant.

-I'd even try my hand at putting on

some sort of northern, sort of, twang...

-if that's not too bad.

-You're awful!

I don't know where that's from.

-Well, I have got no idea, but I'll give it a go.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Yeah. Weatherfield.

-Yeah.

Can you imagine me being the landlord of Rovers Return?

-I think you'd be brilliant.

-Thank you.

I'll even wear high heels, a blonde wig in homage to Julie Goodyear.

We would love to see that.

-There's people watching this now going, "Hmmm."

-"We can make that happen."

-Yeah.

-I think you've been a wonderful guest, you really have.

-Thank you very much. Thank you, Brian.

Very funny and I want to thank you for doing the show.

At this point, we ask our guests to pick a theme tune to go out with.

What would you like to go out with?

Well, let's pay homage to the lovely Roy Castle,

-let's do Record Breakers.

-Yeah, Record Breakers.

Many thanks to Stephen and many thanks to you for watching

The TV That Made Me.

See you next time, bye-bye!

# Dedication that's all you need

# If you wanna be the best and you wanna burn up the rest

# Then dedication's what you need Dum-dum-dum. #