Episode 3 Total Wipeout


Episode 3

Richard Hammond and Amanda Byram present the game show where 20 contestants take on one of television's largest and most extreme obstacle courses, hoping to win 10,000 pounds.


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Transcript


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Buenos Aires, capital of Argentina,

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and home to the astonishing Total Wipeout obstacle course,

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a brutal battleground in which 20 brave Brits,

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including a model, a pastry roller and a nurse are about to test their bodies to the limit

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as they fight for a £10,000 prize.

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There'll be lots of losers, but only one winner.

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This is Total Wipeout.

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Welcome to Total Wipeout.

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20 brave souls, some athletic, some less so, have journeyed all the way

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from the UK to tackle the Total Wipeout course.

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The rules are simple - you go over some obstacles,

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you get really wet and the best person wins.

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And they are that simple!

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These are the challenges that face our competitors today...

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..the Qualifier,

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the Sweeper,

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the Dizzy Dummies,

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and the grand final, the Wipeout Zone.

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The Qualifier will reduce our contestants from 20 to 12,

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it might also reduce some of them to gibbering wrecks.

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Let's have a look at the course.

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And first up is a brand-new obstacle, the Slippery Stairs -

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covered in grease and a nightmare to climb.

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Conquer that and it's a short dash to the Sucker Punch -

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lots of boxing gloves, gallons of mud, and a tiny chance of getting across unharmed.

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Then to the Big Balls, or as the Argentinian crew like to call them,

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the Big Balls - they all speak excellent English.

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Once across the balls, it's the Leap Of Faith, a circular run and jump,

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followed by a difficult landing on a tiny platform.

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At that point, the clock is stopped.

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Don't forget - only the top 12 go through to the next round.

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To win today's competition,

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the Total Wipeout champion will not only endure extreme physical challenges,

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but also extreme giggling from my co-host, Amanda Byram,

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as she watches them falling off big things.

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So, let's join her now on the course with our optimistic hopefuls.

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I'm here now with Chris. Chris, hang on, you've just got something in your... Oh!

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-Wait, no, that IS your hair.

-Yeah, in-built spikes, all natural.

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Have you been doing anything to prepare for this extremely difficult course today?

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Yeah, been getting climbing and trampolining lessons

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-to deal with the evil balls.

-Trampolines are flat, balls are round. How will you deal with that?

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With luck.

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I'm Sonic, the sonic gun,

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I'm doing this course like a sonic boom!

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Now I didn't understand a word of that.

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Still, he's off...

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straight into the water, that is going to ruin his hair.

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No, sadly not.

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Well, he's on.

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Now to the Slippery Stairs - these have been coated in grease,

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much like Chris's hair.

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Over you go, Chris, that's the way.

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Dispatched that with no problems, stumbling there.

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Let's hope he finds his feet for the next obstacle - the Sucker Punch.

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Now I can actually explain

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how you get past this wall of boxing gloves - don't get punched.

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Oh-h! In your face, Chris,

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quite literally.

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He's staying on, though... He's off.

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He is off.

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Oh, no, he's going to ruin his lovely hairdo.

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More like a hair-don't.

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He'll thank you for saying that. Let's have a look at that in slow-mo.

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SCARY MUSIC PLAYS

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That evil incidental music tells me

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that Chris must now traverse his toughest challenge yet - the Big Balls.

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Well, Chris, be brave.

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Oh!

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And that, boys and girls, is how not to do it.

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Hang on, I think Chris does actually manage to land further back

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that where he jumped from.

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And that takes some doing.

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He has to swim all the way over to the podium,

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costing him vital seconds.

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Don't forget - he's trying to set as fast a time as possible

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to be in the top 12 qualifiers.

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Just the Leap Of Faith to go.

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Chris must grab the rope

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and swing to the podium in the middle of the pool.

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Sounds easy, but let me remind you

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how last week's contestants got on with this particular obstacle.

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No matter how many contestants we threw at the Leap Of Faith,

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not a single soul made it across.

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So it is a tall order for our spiky, shouty friend who makes his run up.

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Oh, and that's more like it!

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Chris completes the course in 2 minutes, 13 -

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now the time to beat.

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-Well done!

-Who's next?

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My name's Mandy, I'm 46, I don't need no special tricks

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To let you know that I'm not sad

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And that I can get really mad!

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So that is why I'm here today

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To win Total Wipeout - I hope and I pray.

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Mandy's a sales administrator from Rugby,

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not a full-time poet.

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So the first of our more mature crop of contestants takes to the course.

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Go on, Mand, you can do it! All the way!

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Mandy making her way to the Slippery Stairs - oh!

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Agh!

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All the way up - come on!

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Completely failing to make any headway there.

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Come on!

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Come on, girl.

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And the stairs claiming their first victim.

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Having failed to get over the Slippery Stairs,

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Mandy makes the long swim to the next obstacle,

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costing her valuable time. Come on, Mandy, you can do it, all the way!

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Oh.

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She got hit with a thud and falls in the mud -

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Mandy, you can have that one on me.

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Come on, Mand! Come on, girl!

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Up you come. Go, girl!

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The shouting might be costing her vital energy at this point.

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Keep yourself together.

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Balls - they don't do nothing for me.

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I'm just going to beat them.

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I'm going to run at them and give it all I've got.

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OK, you go, girl, go, go, go!

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Yes...

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She's completely missed the second ball!

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And that was a nasty belly flop! I wouldn't want to see that again.

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While Mandy works out how to breathe again,

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let's see who's next to go.

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SHE CHEERS You ain't seen nothing yet.

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This is 18-year-old Sian -

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a gymnastics coach from Wales, so she should be good at this...

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..and she is - impressive stuff.

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Sian's flying round the course.

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On to the Sucker Punch now.

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Oh, that's really going to slow her down.

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Now, Sian is really small and those balls are really big.

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-THEME FROM "CHARIOTS OF FIRE" PLAYS

-You see, that's how a gymnastics coach tackles the Big Balls -

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pretty much the same way as everybody else.

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Somebody's going to clear those one day, though.

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Somebody will.

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Blimey, Sian's landed it too and in the fastest time today -

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one minute, 46 seconds.

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Remember, only the 12 fastest qualifiers will go through to the next round.

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Time to find out who is vying for a place in that all-important dozen.

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What do this 60-year-old from Salford and this young lady from Brighton have in common?

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Well, there are two things.

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Firstly, they both pluck their eyebrows,

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and, secondly, they've both opted to use tinted goggles to protect their eyes.

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Makes sense, but how will they protect the rest of their bodies?

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HE CHEERS

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I'm the oldest swinger in town,

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but watch me fly round this course! Whoo!

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Yes, right, he's away.

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He's in...

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..he's out -

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the course already bringing Dave to his knees.

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I don't know. I think he's made of the right stuff, this guy.

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On to the Slippery Stairs...

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Oh.

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Maybe a Slippery Stairlift would have helped.

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On to the Sucker Punch now, Flying Dave should have no problem here -

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the wall would never punch a pensioner.

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It's punched a pensioner!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Oooh! At least, it wasn't in the face.

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Natalie doesn't hang around at the Sucker Punch.

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Doesn't look like she wants to hang around in there either.

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Oh, God!

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At least she wore goggles.

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Looking ready for the Big Balls, Dave - just flying round.

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Here we go.

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Yes...ha-ha-ha!

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That kneeling technique there, that was never going to work,

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neither will his knees now probably.

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Now it's Natalie's turn.

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Moment of glory.

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What was that?

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Natalie did eventually finish in three minutes and 52 seconds.

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David finishes with a spot of rope burn...

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..in five minutes, seven seconds.

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Yes!

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Johnny, what is it you do for a living?

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I'm a personal trainer and I used to be in the military.

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Yes, sir! Now do you feel about coming up against some tough female chick competition?

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I'm not going to let them beat me. I will never, ever let them beat me.

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This one is for the boys out there to prove girls can't win! Come on!

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Did he really say... Don't involve me in it.

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He's off. Oh! See, ladies,

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if you wish for something hard enough, it really can come true.

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On to the Sucker Punch.

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Oh! That punch was from my eight-year-old daughter.

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Oh!

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Right, on to the Big Balls now for Action Man Johnny,

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and...

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Oooh! Oooh!

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Well, until he fell off, that was actually pretty good.

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Johnny marches to the finish line in one minute, 34 seconds -

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a very, very good time.

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But now for the women of Britain,

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let's take another look at Johnny falling off the Big Balls...

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..and then getting punched in the face - oh!

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Now, I just want to talk about those Big Balls for a minute,

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probably the toughest obstacles in the whole of Total Wipeout.

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What's more, they do have an amazing, almost magical ability

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to turn finely-tuned athletes into crash-test dummies,

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over and over again.

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MUSIC PLAYS: "Goodness Gracious Great Balls Of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis

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Yeah! Aggh!

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So how will 37-year-old mum Yvonne from Fife deal with the balls?

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Oh! Not very well.

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Yeah, starts reasonably well...

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then goes horribly wrong. Best not to land on your face there, Yvonne.

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Let's see that one more time.

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Next to try the Big Balls is Vicky.

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She's a nurse from Lincoln

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and has been preparing for this punishing course

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by walking her dogs and doing lots of swimming.

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Safe to say that the swimming has come in handy there.

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Backstroke - that's just showing off.

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Next up is 25-year-old Helena,

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who's here representing all the independent women out there.

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Now what is your motivation for being here today?

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I just want to prove to people that girls are just as good as guys

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-and we get stereotyped a lot.

-So what is it that you do?

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I do modelling.

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Do you have a boyfriend?

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Yeah, I do.

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-What does he do?

-He plays football.

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Ah, OK, so what do you do in your spare time?

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Go to the gym mostly - two or three times a week.

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Will Helena's training help her with the Sucker Punch, though?

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Well, she's fit, she's strong.

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No!

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In fact, the punch misses her face,

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but it's the body blow takes her off the wall

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and that's going to cost her time.

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Right, on to the Big Balls - she is gym-fit and toned,

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she could do it - could she be the one to clear them?

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It's just about balance. It's about...not doing that!

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No!

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Now Helena just has to land on the podium

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to finish a pretty decent time.

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Here we go, touchdown.

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No! No, let go!

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Did nobody tell her?

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Good grip, but stop it now.

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How is that pretty little model face doing - let me see?

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Ah, yes, all in one piece - how are you feeling?

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I'm so knackered.

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Still, a decent three minutes, 36, for Helena,

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and proof, if it were needed,

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that this course is bad for your health and your looks.

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This is shelf-stacker Blair and the pontoons aren't really an obstacle -

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she's just making it look tough.

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Not having much luck on the Slippery Stairs either.

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We'll rejoin Blair later when she's pulled herself together.

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I'm going to win this show, now watch me go!

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This is Phil. He's a 33-year-old website designer from Barnsley,

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but he also has an amazing talent up his sleeve -

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he's a part-time rapper.

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# I'm Phil, I'm 33 I'm in the place to be

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# I wanna win this thing on the BBC

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# I got my mummy in the hood saying I should

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# Trying my best to beat the rest Woh-woh-woh! Wipeout!

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# Let me here you scream... #

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And then everyone screams.

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Admit it, you screamed.

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That is quite an effort.

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It's a tougher obstacle than it looks. On to the Sucker Punch.

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Oh.

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Emcee Philly-Phil's secret talents don't end with rapping -

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he's also an amazing break dancer - look at him go.

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Oh, 'eck!

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Come on, Phil, show how those balls are done, B-boy style,

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whatever that is.

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Yes!

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No! I think that loud noise was his body popping.

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Come on, you can do this. Looking good!

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Emcee Philly-Phil keeps it real in the end with a time of two minutes,

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and 54 seconds.

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Will that be enough to take him into the top 12 and into the next round?

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Now let's see how Blair's getting on.

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How much confidence is in that face?

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Absolutely none.

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Oh, I think you'd agree that was the least-surprising fall of the day.

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And I can confirm that is the shortest distance

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ever travelled on the Sucker Punch.

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-Oh, this is so horrible.

-Yeah, it does look like Blair

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probably won't make it into the top 12 or out of that mud pit.

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While Blair enjoys her bath,

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let's see who's next.

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First stop, second round! Get some!

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This is 22-year-old event organiser Dan,

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and to keep himself one step ahead in the fashion stakes,

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he's opted to wear two headbands.

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All the kids are doing it these days apparently.

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And look at the concentration etched on Dan's face.

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Still on... Oh, he's off!

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That's why he wears two headbands - to keep one clean. Clever!

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-On to the Big Balls now.

-Have it! Come on!

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You could be in for a good time.

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Oh, that's got to be the fall of the day!

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Have it! Come on!

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So determined. He's going to cross them, he's going to cross them...

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and then it goes wrong.

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But the most damaging thing about this fall wasn't the blow to Dan's back,

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it was the loss of a precious headband.

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Good job he's got a spare.

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No, he's lost that! Wear three next time.

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Lucky! Have a go!

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Still, a very, very impressive one minute, 22 seconds

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for Headband Dan.

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I think he could be in with a shout today.

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Now it's time to answer the question on everybody's lips.

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How is Blair getting on?

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Go, girl, go. Yes!

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Oh, dear, not at all well.

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Still, Blair picks herself up, dusts herself down,

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and falls off the rope,

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but finally ends up with a time of six minutes, 44.

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Miracles do happen and perhaps Blair has surprised us all

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and hijacked the party at the top of the leader board.

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Unfortunately for Blair, the only miracle for Blair is that she's managed to complete the qualifier

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before it gets dark.

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Let's take a look at the leader board.

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Now, this Total Wipeout course is by no means just for the kids.

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Today's next three proud competitors are flying the flag

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for mums and dads everywhere.

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Let's just hope it doesn't turn out to be a little white flag!

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Meet dad of three, Nigel.

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This is for my friends, my family, my fans!

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I'm a winner!

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With a bit of luck, they won't be watching you, Nigel! Good luck.

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Yeah! I'm going to fly around the course!

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Yes! That's crazy legs Colin.

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I'm doing it for my kids, I'm doing it for Toby and Emily!

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Look what Mummy's doing!

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Yeah. Toby, Emily, you might want to hide behind the sofa for this.

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So, let's see if anyone can show us who's the daddy. Or the mummy.

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Alison's off first. Comes down to earth with a bang!

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Watch and learn, kids, this is textbook slipping!

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Windmill arms, high kicks, finish with a grimace. Perfect!

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Whilst Colin just surfs it in style.

0:19:490:19:52

Nasty! Looks like three children is your lot, Nigel!

0:20:020:20:05

-Yeah!

-I'm here!

0:20:450:20:47

Yeah. Yeah. Whoo! Whoo! Yeah.

0:20:470:20:55

So there you go, kids, your dad did well!

0:20:570:20:59

Not well, but he finished. You can be proud!

0:20:590:21:02

There are only five contestants left to go in the Qualifier.

0:21:020:21:05

For those waiting in the wings, the anticipation must be unbearable.

0:21:050:21:09

This is Perran, he's a pastry roller from Cornwall.

0:21:090:21:13

And apparently, quite a talker.

0:21:130:21:15

You are just oozing cool. Are you excited about the course today?

0:21:160:21:20

-Yeah.

-Have you been in, you know, really hard training?

0:21:200:21:24

Yeah.

0:21:240:21:26

-Really looking forward to it, then, are we?

-Yeah, man!

0:21:260:21:29

I think we've covered everything.

0:21:290:21:32

I am the master of Total Wipeout!

0:21:320:21:34

That looked painful!

0:21:370:21:39

Still, first time that hair's seen water for a while.

0:21:390:21:42

This is impressive stuff. He's a man of few words,

0:21:440:21:47

who obviously likes to let his actions do the talking.

0:21:470:21:50

Perran approaches the Big Balls.

0:21:510:21:53

Perran - part Cornishman, part Wookiee, all wet!

0:21:560:22:00

But Perran isn't down for long, and swings home

0:22:010:22:05

in one minute 30. I'm sure he's got a thing or two to say about that!

0:22:050:22:08

Three words to describe that course?

0:22:100:22:12

Tough...

0:22:120:22:14

I was about to say the same word again!

0:22:140:22:16

Erm...yeah, tough...

0:22:160:22:19

I can't think of any other two!

0:22:220:22:24

Tough, challenging...

0:22:250:22:27

..um...word to describe is not what it looks like.

0:22:270:22:32

Um...

0:22:320:22:35

No, I don't know.

0:22:370:22:38

Each of our 20 lucky competitors has to face the dreaded Sucker Punch,

0:22:420:22:47

and so far today, all have failed miserably to make it across.

0:22:470:22:52

With just four competitors to go,

0:22:520:22:53

will 21-year-old Irish student Adrienne

0:22:530:22:56

be the first to stay out of the mud?

0:22:560:22:58

Quite simply, no.

0:23:010:23:03

She does take two blows to the face before going down.

0:23:040:23:08

Yeah, that did it!

0:23:100:23:12

34-year-old personal trainer Cathy is next.

0:23:120:23:15

I'm here to show you guys how it's done!

0:23:150:23:19

Cathy's a personal trainer, so she's fit,

0:23:190:23:22

but will she be able to beat the Sucker Punch?

0:23:220:23:24

Like so many before,

0:23:290:23:30

Cathy gets up close and personal with the wet, brown stuff.

0:23:300:23:34

By which I mean, she's fallen in the mud.

0:23:340:23:36

Next to try his hand at the fists is cinema projectionist Ben.

0:23:360:23:41

Pain is temporary! Failure is forever!

0:23:410:23:44

Yes, and camouflage is for soldiers, not cinema projectionists.

0:23:440:23:48

Come on, keep going! Ben takes his turn on the Big Balls.

0:23:510:23:54

Having got across the first and second,

0:23:580:24:00

he just gets fingertips to the third,

0:24:000:24:02

it looks so close, and that is the best effort so far today.

0:24:020:24:05

Our last competitor, looking for a place in the top 12,

0:24:070:24:10

is 27-year-old radio DJ, Jon.

0:24:100:24:13

Taking on the Sucker Punch now.

0:24:180:24:19

Once was enough!

0:24:230:24:24

Oh, man, it's muddy!

0:24:240:24:27

That would be the last thing on my mind right now.

0:24:270:24:31

A punch like that first one would bring a tear to most men's eyes!

0:24:310:24:34

It took the second one to knock him off.

0:24:360:24:39

Big Balls, here I come!

0:24:450:24:47

Jon's shouting at the Big Balls,

0:24:470:24:50

employing his abilities as a radio presenter.

0:24:500:24:53

He hits the second ball and manages to get a finger across to the third

0:25:010:25:05

and a face full of rubber!

0:25:050:25:07

And then Jon manages to pioneer a brand new Total Wipeout move -

0:25:070:25:11

I shall christen it "The Scorpion."

0:25:110:25:14

Jon struggles to the finish line in two minutes, 27 seconds.

0:25:160:25:20

But he needs to be one of the fastest 12

0:25:200:25:22

to get through to the next round.

0:25:220:25:25

Here we have our final leader board.

0:25:270:25:29

So, congratulations to today's top 12,

0:25:490:25:52

because they're one step closer to clinching that £10,000 prize.

0:25:520:25:55

Now it's time to turn up the heat.

0:25:550:25:57

By which I mean, let's make more people fall off stuff.

0:25:570:26:01

Bring on the Sweeper!

0:26:010:26:02

All our 12 remaining Brits have to do now

0:26:070:26:11

is stay balanced on their podiums while that big sweeper arm

0:26:110:26:16

tries to knock them off, as it rotates faster and higher with every revolution.

0:26:160:26:19

The first six to fall in the water are eliminated.

0:26:190:26:23

But the sweeper will keep knocking people off

0:26:230:26:25

until we have our last man or woman standing.

0:26:250:26:28

And their prize is a psychological edge going into the next round.

0:26:280:26:33

On podium one, it's a pumped-up and confident Yvonne.

0:26:330:26:37

First to jump, last to fall!

0:26:370:26:39

You're having a laugh!

0:26:390:26:41

Next to her, on podium two, it's action man Johnny.

0:26:410:26:44

Sian and Cathy, you're going down!

0:26:440:26:47

On podiums three, four and five,

0:26:470:26:49

it's Shouty Chris, Colin and gymnast Sian.

0:26:490:26:52

I may be the youngest, but I'm going to show you how it's done!

0:26:520:26:55

On six and seven, it's Cathy and Headband Dan.

0:26:550:27:00

If I get through the Sweeper, I'll be ten grand richer!

0:27:000:27:03

Last six, baby, come on!

0:27:030:27:05

And next to Dan, our Wipeout WAG, Helena.

0:27:050:27:08

I might have came 12th in the Qualifier,

0:27:080:27:10

but I'll be the last woman standing! Whoo!

0:27:100:27:14

Aaah!

0:27:140:27:16

On podiums nine and ten, it's DJ Jon and MC Phil!

0:27:160:27:21

The Sweeper looks so demanding,

0:27:210:27:23

but I'm praying I'll be the last man standing!

0:27:230:27:26

And to round things off, on podiums 11 and 12,

0:27:260:27:29

Ben and Perran.

0:27:290:27:34

Perran there, just realising he's left the gas on.

0:27:340:27:37

So, only six people go through to the next round,

0:27:370:27:40

let's see how they get on. Amanda!

0:27:400:27:41

-Are you all ready up there?

-Yeah!

0:27:430:27:47

Yeah, they look absolutely terrified.

0:27:470:27:49

Three...two...one...

0:27:490:27:53

Slow and steady to start.

0:27:570:27:59

Disaster strikes for Colin, his legs have gone a bit too crazy!

0:28:050:28:09

C'est la vie, c'est la guerre!

0:28:120:28:14

Yeah, c'est la you're out, Colin!

0:28:140:28:16

Seconds later, footballer's sweetheart Helena becomes one wet WAG.

0:28:200:28:23

I'm not the last woman standing. First one down!

0:28:250:28:28

I tried my best, that's the best I can do.

0:28:460:28:48

That's the best you can do?! Phil makes a right mess of it

0:28:480:28:53

and nearly takes Ben out. Luckily, Ben hangs on.

0:28:530:28:56

# When the world leaves you feeling blue... #

0:28:560:29:00

Phil, you just lost all that credibility you built up!

0:29:000:29:03

# I will be there for you... #

0:29:030:29:05

Nine contenders are still in the game -

0:29:050:29:10

Yvonne, Johnny, Chris,

0:29:100:29:12

Sian, Cathy, Dan, who's now diving too,

0:29:120:29:16

Jon, Ben and Perran. But only six can go through

0:29:160:29:19

to the next round, so we still need some more tumbles.

0:29:190:29:22

I did it!

0:29:230:29:25

Come on, people, you're all wearing life jackets.

0:29:250:29:29

Be a shame not to use them. Fall off!

0:29:290:29:32

This nine are doing incredibly well.

0:29:320:29:35

CHEERING

0:29:370:29:40

And still they go!

0:29:440:29:46

This nine are just refusing to fall off!

0:29:460:29:49

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

0:29:490:29:52

Yeah, that's why we call him Shouty Chris.

0:29:520:29:55

Yvonne, this one, you're going down!

0:29:570:30:00

Oh, that's the spirit, Johnny!

0:30:000:30:03

And the Sweeper just keeps on getting faster...and faster...

0:30:030:30:08

Ooh! It's a disaster for DJ Jon!

0:30:080:30:11

I'm so annoyed with myself.

0:30:110:30:12

You know what? I could still be up there.

0:30:120:30:16

Yeah. Judging by that, Jon, your teeth could still be up there!

0:30:160:30:21

With every revolution, the Sweeper speeds up.

0:30:210:30:24

Eight contestants still standing now, but only six go through.

0:30:240:30:28

Headband Dan's barely got time to stand before he's back down,

0:30:350:30:39

but not out. Does anybody want to fall?

0:30:390:30:43

Yvonne's gone! And Chris, too! And that's lights out for Cathy.

0:30:500:30:54

Headband Dan collects the sweeper in the chest, didn't stand a chance.

0:30:570:31:01

Off the podium. But I think he's done the maths here.

0:31:010:31:05

He's celebrating, because he's seen six have already gone down,

0:31:050:31:09

that means he's in the final six to go through.

0:31:090:31:12

Ever sympathetic Amanda there, really feeling for Dan's pain(!)

0:31:120:31:16

But that was carnage! Let's slow this down,

0:31:160:31:19

and see exactly what's going on.

0:31:190:31:21

Down goes Yvonne, that's seven left,

0:31:210:31:23

then Chris goes down - we have our final six.

0:31:230:31:26

Then just behind him is Cathy.

0:31:260:31:29

She goes down, but she hits the water after Chris,

0:31:310:31:34

that means she goes through to the next round.

0:31:340:31:37

Chris and Yvonne are out.

0:31:370:31:39

I was so scared up there, I was terrified!

0:31:390:31:42

I thought, "I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this!"

0:31:420:31:45

It just caught the tip of my toe.

0:31:450:31:48

I just think, in one more sequence, I'd have made it.

0:31:480:31:52

Last man standing, come on! No bird's going to beat me!

0:31:520:31:56

You'll have to forgive Johnny, he's only nine years old.

0:31:560:31:59

No bird's going to beat me! Come on!

0:31:590:32:02

Justice, ladies and gentlemen, is served up, Total Wipeout style.

0:32:120:32:15

He's gone!

0:32:150:32:17

So, Sian, Ben and Perran are left.

0:32:170:32:19

Who will be our last man standing?

0:32:190:32:21

No wonder Sian didn't clear that - it's up to waist height on her!

0:32:300:32:33

Aagh! That looks nasty.

0:32:330:32:37

Funny, but nasty.

0:32:390:32:40

We started with 12, we're down to the last two.

0:32:400:32:44

Hold your horses!

0:32:480:32:50

I think...yeah, Perran has definitely just fallen off.

0:32:500:32:55

That makes big Ben our last man standing and Sweeper king!

0:32:570:33:00

So, 12 are now six.

0:33:020:33:03

Let's remind ourselves who they are and how they got here.

0:33:030:33:07

First up, it's our number one Qualifier and fashion icon, Headband Dan.

0:33:070:33:12

Let's have a go!

0:33:120:33:15

Next, it's the pint-sized pixie from Wales, gymnast Sian.

0:33:150:33:19

You ain't seen nothing yet!

0:33:190:33:20

Then there's action man Johnny. Truly, a man for the new millennium.

0:33:230:33:27

No bird's going to beat me!

0:33:270:33:28

Yeah. Then, there's personal trainer and mum of three, Cathy.

0:33:280:33:33

I'm here to show you guys how it's done!

0:33:330:33:35

And we've got Cornish pastry roller, chatty Perran.

0:33:370:33:40

I am the master of Total Wipeout!

0:33:400:33:43

Stranger to the barber, but a master nonetheless.

0:33:430:33:46

And finally, there's camouflage-wearing cinema projectionist, big...

0:33:460:33:50

-Pain is temporary!

-..bad...

-Failure is forever!

-..Ben, the Sweeper king.

0:33:500:33:55

These six have been through a lot. But it doesn't get any easier,

0:33:570:34:00

so let's give them a huge amount of encouragement,

0:34:000:34:03

as we watch them falling over and getting wet.

0:34:030:34:06

Let's move on to the Dizzy Dummies.

0:34:060:34:08

Here's how it works - we spin the competitors round and round

0:34:130:34:17

and when they can barely walk, we ask them to battle across obstacles

0:34:170:34:21

that would be difficult enough if you weren't dizzy.

0:34:210:34:24

We run the game three times, and each time,

0:34:240:34:27

the last person across will be eliminated,

0:34:270:34:30

leaving us with our three finalists.

0:34:300:34:32

Quite simply, the object of the game is don't come last!

0:34:320:34:36

The first obstacles are the Tippy Tables,

0:34:360:34:38

and then it's on to the Dock Maze. All clear? Let's get spinning!

0:34:380:34:44

Off they all go, 40 seconds of high speed spinning.

0:34:480:34:52

Six people in a human centrifuge. Rather them than me!

0:34:520:34:55

-Aaargh!

-Somebody's screaming. I think it's Ben.

0:34:550:35:01

-Ben does not look good!

-Oh, he'll get better.

0:35:010:35:05

Eventually.

0:35:050:35:07

And they're off! Sian's first out of the blocks,

0:35:070:35:12

Johnny's got other ideas. Ladies first, Johnny? No, thought not.

0:35:120:35:16

Johnny makes a dash for it and crosses the line.

0:35:210:35:24

Sian, Perran and Cathy have all slipped into the water.

0:35:260:35:29

Dan, now, out in front, on his own.

0:35:330:35:36

And he dives over the finish line.

0:35:360:35:39

Perran, there, he doesn't hang around! Will he...?

0:35:440:35:47

Yes, he has, he's made it!

0:35:470:35:50

So, Sian, Cathy and Ben are left. Sian's got the tables to herself.

0:35:500:35:54

And she's safe!

0:35:540:35:57

Last one over's out, remember that!

0:35:580:36:01

So, either Cathy or Ben will be eliminated.

0:36:010:36:05

Ben does his best to upset the table,

0:36:050:36:07

but only succeeds in falling in himself!

0:36:070:36:09

That could be curtains for our Sweeper king.

0:36:090:36:12

ALL: Cathy! Cathy! Cathy!

0:36:120:36:15

There's only one place up for grabs.

0:36:150:36:18

Cathy's made it, it's hers! Ben is eliminated.

0:36:180:36:21

Ben, so close but so very, very far! Where did it all go wrong?

0:36:240:36:29

I just couldn't get a grip.

0:36:290:36:31

Went onto it, but just slipped, couldn't get a grip.

0:36:310:36:35

-Did you think you might have beat her across?

-No, far from it!

0:36:350:36:39

Five left, and one more is about to be eliminated,

0:36:390:36:43

this time by the Dock Maze. Our competitors are strapped in.

0:36:430:36:46

The Dizzy Dummy is primed.

0:36:460:36:48

And apparently, they've all had Scotch eggs for lunch.

0:36:480:36:51

I can't believe we're doing this again!

0:36:520:36:54

So, off they spin, once again, round and round and round they go,

0:36:540:37:00

for 40 sickening seconds. I feel ill just watching!

0:37:000:37:05

Johnny's out first, closely followed by Sian.

0:37:110:37:13

Headband Dan dives in, and takes Sian and Perran out as well.

0:37:180:37:24

That leaves Johnny out in front to cross the line. Go on, Johnny!

0:37:260:37:32

Will he? Yes, he has! Still without a drop of water on him.

0:37:320:37:35

Sian's back at the start.

0:37:350:37:38

Watch out, cos here comes Dan.

0:37:380:37:41

Dan all over Perrin like a cheap suit.

0:37:410:37:44

Or a dodgy hairstyle.

0:37:440:37:46

Sian just inches from the line. ..Oh, she's fallen in!

0:37:460:37:49

Cathy and Headband Dan on the same block. Perrin jumps on with them.

0:37:520:37:56

Surely this now can end only one way.

0:37:560:38:00

That way. Now Perrin is stranded miles away from the last block.

0:38:000:38:05

What can he do?

0:38:050:38:06

That was an astonishing leap.

0:38:080:38:11

A fine effort, but no cigar.

0:38:110:38:13

Just a mouthful of wet hair.

0:38:130:38:16

Sian has done a clever thing - wait for the pontoons to float back together again.

0:38:160:38:22

-She is across. She's done it.

-CHEERING

0:38:220:38:25

So three are left - only two can continue.

0:38:250:38:28

Perrin spots a gap round Cathy, but they both end up in the water.

0:38:280:38:32

Dan now holding on for dear life.

0:38:320:38:35

And Headband Dan crawls over the finish line.

0:38:350:38:39

I think he's relieved.

0:38:390:38:40

Only Perrin and Cathy left. The last one across will be eliminated.

0:38:400:38:45

Perrin makes a run for it.

0:38:450:38:47

And leaps for the line like a Cornish kangaroo.

0:38:470:38:50

And he's made it! He's made it! Cathy is eliminated.

0:38:500:38:55

Cathy, you've such a competitive streak in you.

0:38:570:39:00

Do you feel gutted right now?

0:39:000:39:02

Yeah, I'm gutted, I'm gutted.

0:39:020:39:03

Listen, you've been wonderful, but those strong legs of yours couldn't get into the next round.

0:39:030:39:08

-But well done, Cathy.

-Thank you.

-OK.

0:39:080:39:11

Although Cathy and Ben have both been eliminated,

0:39:110:39:14

we still need to lose one more competitor.

0:39:140:39:17

So the stragglers must strap themselves back in.

0:39:170:39:20

And the Argentinian bloke that powers the Dizzy Dummy needs to get back on his bike.

0:39:200:39:24

So it is the last spin for this lot.

0:39:240:39:27

The loser will be kissing goodbye to any chance of winning the £10,000 prize money.

0:39:270:39:32

Remember, only the first three will go through to the Wipeout Zone.

0:39:320:39:35

-Slowing to a stop.

-KLAXON

0:39:350:39:38

-And they're off.

-Here they go. One last attempt.

0:39:380:39:42

Oh, my God!

0:39:420:39:43

Oh, disaster for Johnny as he takes a dip in the water

0:39:460:39:48

for the first time.

0:39:480:39:50

About time too.

0:39:500:39:52

Headband Dan has made a right mess of it which leaves Sian with a clear roll across the tables.

0:39:530:39:58

And she's across the first table. And the second!

0:40:010:40:04

And she's through to the Wipeout Zone.

0:40:040:40:06

-Go, Sian!

-We have a woman in the final!

0:40:060:40:09

Johnny's off again. Did Headband Dan just tip the table?

0:40:110:40:15

And Dan's tipped Perrin in too!

0:40:150:40:18

Dirty but effective tactics from Headband Dan.

0:40:180:40:20

-Dan, Dan, Dan!

-He's across the first table.

0:40:200:40:24

He's not making friends, but he is making distance.

0:40:240:40:26

He's over the second and through to the Wipeout Zone.

0:40:260:40:29

So Sian and Dan are already through.

0:40:290:40:34

It's Perrin versus Johnny

0:40:340:40:36

for the last place in the final.

0:40:360:40:39

Perrin using all his strength to have a last go,

0:40:390:40:42

but Action Man Johnny jumps on

0:40:420:40:45

and completely upsets the table.

0:40:450:40:46

I think he may have done that on purpose.

0:40:460:40:50

Yes!

0:40:500:40:51

He springs for the line and Johnny has done it. He's in the final with Sian and Dan.

0:40:510:40:56

Perrin is eliminated.

0:40:560:40:57

Where did it all go wrong? Was it the very end?

0:40:570:41:00

I just kept sliding off.

0:41:000:41:02

For someone who didn't say very much at the beginning, you were full of beans on that last round.

0:41:020:41:07

No problem, man.

0:41:070:41:08

Couldn't have put it better myself. Well, couldn't have put it the same way.

0:41:080:41:12

Perrin, Cathy and Ben are out.

0:41:120:41:14

Sian, Dan and Action Man Johnny go through to the Wipeout Zone

0:41:140:41:18

for their chance to win that £10,000 prize.

0:41:180:41:21

But before we unleash our three finalists on the most challenging

0:41:210:41:25

and downright scary obstacle course in the world,

0:41:250:41:28

let's have a look at their journey to today's final.

0:41:280:41:31

Getting to the final was... an amazing achievement for me.

0:41:330:41:37

Facing the Wipeout Zone tonight, I feel anxious, nervous.

0:41:370:41:41

Like nothing I've done before. It'll be a tough course.

0:41:410:41:44

Now we're down to the last three,

0:41:440:41:45

we're each looking at each other, knowing one person will win that 10 grand.

0:41:450:41:49

And, yeah, it's a lot more competitive.

0:41:490:41:52

I'm surprised Sian's here, being a girl. I expected three fit males to be there.

0:41:550:42:00

I'm pleased there's a girl in the final. It's between me or Johnny now.

0:42:000:42:04

Dan and Johnny don't think I can do very well.

0:42:040:42:07

And they think they've got it easy, but I'll give them a run for their money.

0:42:070:42:12

I think people underestimate me a lot.

0:42:140:42:16

Sian, the little girl from Wales.

0:42:160:42:18

She's smaller, probably slower.

0:42:180:42:22

She'll not be able to keep up with our physical stamina and mental ability.

0:42:220:42:26

I'm going to do it for the girls, for Wales. I'll give it all I've got.

0:42:260:42:29

I'm going to win Total Wipeout cos I'm best competitor there is.

0:42:310:42:35

I deserve to be up there and I will be the winner at the end.

0:42:350:42:38

I've been confident throughout, I've been leading throughout. I'm going to roll it in the final.

0:42:380:42:43

Night has fallen in Buenos Aires. That's in Argentina. Keep up.

0:42:500:42:54

Our three finalists are readying themselves for the biggest challenge of their lives.

0:42:540:42:59

It's called the Wipeout Zone, and you've never seen anything like it.

0:42:590:43:03

Unless you saw last week's show.

0:43:030:43:05

Or the one before that.

0:43:050:43:07

OK, so it's an obstacle course like you may have seen before,

0:43:070:43:10

but it's still massive and really frightening.

0:43:100:43:12

This is what our three finalists - Johnny, Dan and Sian -

0:43:180:43:21

have to face.

0:43:210:43:22

First, they launch themselves down the high-speed Killer Surf.

0:43:220:43:26

Next it's a swing to the Barrel Run where they hurdle 50kg barrels

0:43:260:43:31

as they roll towards them.

0:43:310:43:33

Then it's a treacherous and slippery climb across the Waterfall

0:43:330:43:36

before leaping onto the fast-moving Spinner,

0:43:360:43:40

traversing the Rolling Beam and finishing with a leap

0:43:400:43:43

off the Launch Pads.

0:43:430:43:44

The fastest finalist will be tonight's winner and take home

0:43:440:43:48

the £10,000 prize.

0:43:480:43:49

They have waded through water,

0:43:490:43:52

bounced off balls

0:43:520:43:53

and spun themselves dizzy,

0:43:530:43:55

all in an attempt to get to the most difficult challenge yet -

0:43:550:43:58

the Wipeout Zone.

0:43:580:44:00

And first to go is Johnny.

0:44:000:44:02

Come on, yes!

0:44:040:44:06

So ex-soldier Johnny is up first.

0:44:060:44:10

-KLAXON

-No doubt desperate to beat Sian.

0:44:100:44:12

Super-competitive Action Man Johnny is off.

0:44:160:44:19

Swims now towards the Barrel Run. Johnny used to be in the army,

0:44:190:44:23

so should have plenty of experience on obstacle courses.

0:44:230:44:26

Though not necessarily exactly like this one.

0:44:260:44:28

I probably should mention that walkway is covered in grease.

0:44:310:44:34

And those barrels now rolling towards him weigh a whopping 50kg.

0:44:340:44:39

Ooh!

0:44:390:44:42

Johnny's adapted his style halfway through. It's less dignified

0:44:440:44:48

but still effective.

0:44:480:44:50

Don't forget, he's got to set the time for the other two to beat.

0:44:500:44:53

Now he's onto the wet and slippery Climbing Wall.

0:44:530:44:57

Ooh, that was nearly a very costly slip.

0:44:570:45:01

Maybe he's trying to keep the tension up for us watching.

0:45:010:45:04

The Spinner. He's got to leap onto it. Johnny prepares. ..He's across!

0:45:040:45:08

He makes it and, more importantly, he's got something to hold onto.

0:45:080:45:11

But the longer he stays on the Spinner, the dizzier he'll get.

0:45:110:45:15

That'll make it harder for the next obstacle.

0:45:150:45:18

Nice work! He's done it first time.

0:45:190:45:22

Just the Rolling Beam and Launch Pads to go now.

0:45:220:45:25

No problem there for Johnny. I'd say we could be in for a very good time.

0:45:250:45:30

Oh! He's made his first error.

0:45:300:45:32

It was all going so well for Johnny up until that point.

0:45:320:45:36

And that mistake will cost him vital seconds.

0:45:360:45:40

Johnny now climbs up the ladder.

0:45:400:45:42

He's got to go back up to the first Launch Pad

0:45:420:45:45

and make it to the second.

0:45:450:45:47

Oh, he's fallen in again! This is a disaster

0:45:470:45:49

for Action Man Johnny.

0:45:490:45:51

Great news for womankind.

0:45:510:45:53

For him, a disaster.

0:45:530:45:54

After such a promising start,

0:45:540:45:56

it's all turned into a frustrating end. This could cost him 10 grand.

0:45:560:46:02

Keeping control now.

0:46:020:46:03

Onto the second trampoline.

0:46:060:46:09

He can nearly touch the finish line!

0:46:090:46:11

He's there!

0:46:140:46:16

And Johnny has done it

0:46:160:46:17

with a time of...

0:46:170:46:20

But he'll be so annoyed with himself. He made such a strong start in the Wipeout Zone,

0:46:210:46:26

but then threw it all away

0:46:260:46:27

on the Launch Pads.

0:46:270:46:28

-What happened?

-I don't know. I just couldn't do it.

0:46:320:46:35

It went in too fast, too quick.

0:46:350:46:37

-I expected that to be easy, having been in the army!

-I can tell you right now

0:46:370:46:41

-that your time was 4 minutes and 24 seconds.

-Oh, well. OK.

0:46:410:46:45

Right. Next up is Dan.

0:46:450:46:47

Let's have it right! Let's go! KLAXON

0:46:490:46:52

Whoo!

0:46:520:46:54

And he's off!

0:46:580:47:01

Dan, a 22-year-old event organiser from Surrey,

0:47:010:47:03

front-crawls his way through the water.

0:47:030:47:06

Crawls his way up the beam.

0:47:080:47:09

Onto the Barrel Run where he's got to try and stay out of the way

0:47:090:47:14

of those barrels.

0:47:140:47:16

Ooh! It was nearly all over before it started.

0:47:170:47:20

Dan's opting for Johnny's slightly over-dramatic leaping technique.

0:47:210:47:25

It does look effective,

0:47:250:47:27

but I suspect it costs him valuable time.

0:47:270:47:30

He's getting over, he's staying on, but it's taking time.

0:47:330:47:37

Onto the wall now, Dan feeling the full force

0:47:370:47:40

of the water crashing down on him at a rate of 2,000 litres a minute.

0:47:400:47:43

Come on! Come on!

0:47:430:47:46

Support from his competitors.

0:47:460:47:49

So to the Spinner. Will he get on first time like Johnny?

0:47:510:47:55

Yeah, he does.

0:47:570:47:58

Dan is safely on. Now he's got to wait for the perfect time to leap.

0:47:580:48:02

Get the timing wrong and he's in the drink - that will cost him time.

0:48:020:48:06

Excellent judgement from Headband Dan.

0:48:090:48:13

Now Dan needs to steady himself for the Roller Beam.

0:48:150:48:18

But he's made light work of that. Oh, no! Disaster for Dan!

0:48:220:48:26

He's face-planted onto the first Launch Pad.

0:48:260:48:29

Out of control. A slip. I don't know what happened but that's gotta hurt.

0:48:290:48:33

The clock keeps on ticking while Dan clambers back up

0:48:330:48:36

for another go.

0:48:360:48:37

A more gentle approach works better this time.

0:48:370:48:40

Making the leap to the second pad.

0:48:400:48:42

Dan's showing Johnny how this should be done now.

0:48:420:48:46

And he's done it!

0:48:470:48:48

In a time of...

0:48:480:48:50

-Easy!

-Strong display from Headband Dan, but he doesn't know yet

0:48:500:48:54

whether he's beaten Johnny.

0:48:540:48:56

That was an impressive performance.

0:48:580:49:01

A more cautious approach on the Launch Pad paid off for Dan

0:49:010:49:04

in the end, but will it be paying out to the tune of 10 grand?

0:49:040:49:09

Come on out to me, Dan the man! How was that for you?

0:49:090:49:12

It was good fun, yeah. Really enjoyed that.

0:49:120:49:15

-Win or lose now, it's the experience that it's all about.

-The question is

0:49:150:49:19

are you faster than Johnny?

0:49:190:49:22

And I can tell you

0:49:240:49:25

-that you were indeed faster!

-Yeah, brilliant!

0:49:250:49:29

So Dan has raced around the course and beaten Johnny's time

0:49:310:49:35

by some margin.

0:49:350:49:37

It is now a straight contest between Sian and Dan

0:49:370:49:40

for that £10,000 prize

0:49:400:49:42

and the title of Total Wipeout champion.

0:49:420:49:45

Let's head back to the start line.

0:49:450:49:46

Next to go is gymnastics coach Sian.

0:49:510:49:53

-KLAXON

-She started today's qualifier

0:49:530:49:55

with some impressive flipping.

0:49:550:49:57

She needs to be flipping impressive now.

0:50:000:50:02

Making her way towards the beam.

0:50:020:50:05

These beams covered in grease makes it so hard to drag herself out

0:50:050:50:09

of the water when she gets there.

0:50:090:50:11

Sian isn't as tall as her two rivals,

0:50:110:50:14

which is definitely a disadvantage going into the Barrel Run.

0:50:140:50:18

That first barrel completely taken her out. And the second.

0:50:180:50:21

Oh, she's really struggling.

0:50:210:50:23

The barrels ganging up on poor Sian. It's not fair!

0:50:260:50:29

Oh! Then, it IS the Wipeout Zone.

0:50:290:50:32

Sian now must start the Barrel Run all over again.

0:50:340:50:37

The clock, meanwhile, just keeps on ticking.

0:50:370:50:40

Don't forget those barrels weigh 50kg each.

0:50:410:50:45

Ah! She's also now going for the dramatic leap technique.

0:50:470:50:51

It worked for her rivals. Works so far for her too.

0:50:510:50:55

Making her way now up across the Climbing Wall...

0:50:560:50:59

actually very quickly and picking up time here.

0:50:590:51:03

It's not over yet. She's still in this.

0:51:030:51:06

Staying smooth and in control.

0:51:080:51:11

She's made one error already. Sian needs to get across the Spinner

0:51:110:51:15

quickly now if she's to beat Dan's time.

0:51:150:51:18

She's on!

0:51:180:51:20

She's on. She's gone for it first time. She's on it.

0:51:200:51:22

She's got to get off it.

0:51:220:51:24

And she's... Oh, she's misjudged the landing!

0:51:240:51:28

It's so easy to do.

0:51:280:51:29

10 grand! 10 grand!

0:51:290:51:31

Sian managed to get both feet onto the platform,

0:51:320:51:35

but her momentum just carried her too far.

0:51:350:51:38

She's got to climb back up the Waterfall

0:51:410:51:44

and attempt the Spinner once again.

0:51:440:51:47

She's on.

0:51:470:51:49

And attempt number two - she's done it. ..Good work, Sian.

0:51:510:51:54

Oh, my word! That is spectacular!

0:51:590:52:01

But it's too little too late.

0:52:030:52:05

Sian gallantly tried her best,

0:52:050:52:08

but it wasn't enough to beat Dan on the night.

0:52:080:52:11

Sian, what an incredible finish to that course!

0:52:130:52:16

That was monumental! How are you feeling?

0:52:160:52:20

Knackered!

0:52:200:52:21

How do you think you did time-wise tonight?

0:52:210:52:24

I don't think I did too badly,

0:52:240:52:26

but I think Dan did better.

0:52:260:52:28

Well, I can tell you now

0:52:280:52:30

the winner of £10,000

0:52:300:52:33

and the Total Wipeout champion

0:52:330:52:35

this evening is...

0:52:350:52:37

Dan!

0:52:370:52:39

DAN CHEERS

0:52:390:52:42

Whoo!

0:52:430:52:46

Well done, Dan. And well done, Sian, for beating Johnny,

0:52:460:52:49

-which we all wanted to see happen.

-Whoo!

0:52:490:52:52

Congratulations to headband ambassador Dan Hill-Smith,

0:52:520:52:56

who is today's Total Wipeout champion

0:52:560:52:58

and also 10 grand better off.

0:52:580:53:00

Maybe he'll spend the lot on one massive headband.

0:53:000:53:03

Join us next time for more of this...

0:53:030:53:07

And this...

0:53:090:53:11

So, from Amanda and me, it's goodbye. See you next time.

0:53:140:53:17

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:53:240:53:27

Richard Hammond presents an extraordinary game show.

Crashes, smashes and hilarious mud splashes are on the cards as 20 contestants take on one of television's largest and most extreme obstacle courses. They journey across the globe to the purpose-built Total Wipeout course in Argentina to put their strength, balance and bravery to the test in the hope of winning the 10,000 pound cash prize and being crowned Total Wipeout champion.

Amanda Byram assists Richard from the sidelines as contestants take on challenges like the Big Balls, the Sweeper and the awesome Wipeout Zone.


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