Episode 3 Total Wipeout


Episode 3

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Buenos Aires, capital of Argentina,

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and home to the astonishing Total Wipeout obstacle course,

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a brutal battleground in which 20 brave Brits,

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including a model, a pastry roller and a nurse are about to test their bodies to the limit

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as they fight for a £10,000 prize.

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There'll be lots of losers, but only one winner.

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This is Total Wipeout.

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Welcome to Total Wipeout.

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20 brave souls, some athletic, some less so, have journeyed all the way

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from the UK to tackle the Total Wipeout course.

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The rules are simple - you go over some obstacles,

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you get really wet and the best person wins.

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And they are that simple!

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These are the challenges that face our competitors today...

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..the Qualifier,

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the Sweeper,

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the Dizzy Dummies,

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and the grand final, the Wipeout Zone.

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The Qualifier will reduce our contestants from 20 to 12,

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it might also reduce some of them to gibbering wrecks.

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Let's have a look at the course.

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And first up is a brand-new obstacle, the Slippery Stairs -

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covered in grease and a nightmare to climb.

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Conquer that and it's a short dash to the Sucker Punch -

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lots of boxing gloves, gallons of mud, and a tiny chance of getting across unharmed.

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Then to the Big Balls, or as the Argentinian crew like to call them,

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the Big Balls - they all speak excellent English.

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Once across the balls, it's the Leap Of Faith, a circular run and jump,

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followed by a difficult landing on a tiny platform.

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At that point, the clock is stopped.

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Don't forget - only the top 12 go through to the next round.

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To win today's competition,

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the Total Wipeout champion will not only endure extreme physical challenges,

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but also extreme giggling from my co-host, Amanda Byram,

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as she watches them falling off big things.

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So, let's join her now on the course with our optimistic hopefuls.

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I'm here now with Chris. Chris, hang on, you've just got something in your... Oh!

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-Wait, no, that IS your hair.

-Yeah, in-built spikes, all natural.

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Have you been doing anything to prepare for this extremely difficult course today?

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Yeah, been getting climbing and trampolining lessons

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-to deal with the evil balls.

-Trampolines are flat, balls are round. How will you deal with that?

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With luck.

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I'm Sonic, the sonic gun,

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I'm doing this course like a sonic boom!

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Now I didn't understand a word of that.

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Still, he's off...

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straight into the water, that is going to ruin his hair.

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No, sadly not.

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Well, he's on.

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Now to the Slippery Stairs - these have been coated in grease,

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much like Chris's hair.

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Over you go, Chris, that's the way.

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Dispatched that with no problems, stumbling there.

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Let's hope he finds his feet for the next obstacle - the Sucker Punch.

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Now I can actually explain

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how you get past this wall of boxing gloves - don't get punched.

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Oh-h! In your face, Chris,

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quite literally.

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He's staying on, though... He's off.

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He is off.

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Oh, no, he's going to ruin his lovely hairdo.

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More like a hair-don't.

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He'll thank you for saying that. Let's have a look at that in slow-mo.

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SCARY MUSIC PLAYS

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That evil incidental music tells me

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that Chris must now traverse his toughest challenge yet - the Big Balls.

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Well, Chris, be brave.

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Oh!

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And that, boys and girls, is how not to do it.

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Hang on, I think Chris does actually manage to land further back

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that where he jumped from.

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And that takes some doing.

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He has to swim all the way over to the podium,

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costing him vital seconds.

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Don't forget - he's trying to set as fast a time as possible

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to be in the top 12 qualifiers.

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Just the Leap Of Faith to go.

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Chris must grab the rope

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and swing to the podium in the middle of the pool.

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Sounds easy, but let me remind you

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how last week's contestants got on with this particular obstacle.

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No matter how many contestants we threw at the Leap Of Faith,

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not a single soul made it across.

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So it is a tall order for our spiky, shouty friend who makes his run up.

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Oh, and that's more like it!

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Chris completes the course in 2 minutes, 13 -

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now the time to beat.

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-Well done!

-Who's next?

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My name's Mandy, I'm 46, I don't need no special tricks

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To let you know that I'm not sad

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And that I can get really mad!

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So that is why I'm here today

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To win Total Wipeout - I hope and I pray.

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Mandy's a sales administrator from Rugby,

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not a full-time poet.

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So the first of our more mature crop of contestants takes to the course.

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Go on, Mand, you can do it! All the way!

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Mandy making her way to the Slippery Stairs - oh!

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Agh!

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All the way up - come on!

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Completely failing to make any headway there.

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Come on!

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Come on, girl.

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And the stairs claiming their first victim.

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Having failed to get over the Slippery Stairs,

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Mandy makes the long swim to the next obstacle,

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costing her valuable time. Come on, Mandy, you can do it, all the way!

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Oh.

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She got hit with a thud and falls in the mud -

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Mandy, you can have that one on me.

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Come on, Mand! Come on, girl!

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Up you come. Go, girl!

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The shouting might be costing her vital energy at this point.

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Keep yourself together.

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Balls - they don't do nothing for me.

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I'm just going to beat them.

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I'm going to run at them and give it all I've got.

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OK, you go, girl, go, go, go!

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Yes...

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She's completely missed the second ball!

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And that was a nasty belly flop! I wouldn't want to see that again.

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While Mandy works out how to breathe again,

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let's see who's next to go.

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SHE CHEERS You ain't seen nothing yet.

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This is 18-year-old Sian -

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a gymnastics coach from Wales, so she should be good at this...

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..and she is - impressive stuff.

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Sian's flying round the course.

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On to the Sucker Punch now.

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Oh, that's really going to slow her down.

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Now, Sian is really small and those balls are really big.

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-THEME FROM "CHARIOTS OF FIRE" PLAYS

-You see, that's how a gymnastics coach tackles the Big Balls -

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pretty much the same way as everybody else.

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Somebody's going to clear those one day, though.

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Somebody will.

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Blimey, Sian's landed it too and in the fastest time today -

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one minute, 46 seconds.

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Remember, only the 12 fastest qualifiers will go through to the next round.

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Time to find out who is vying for a place in that all-important dozen.

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What do this 60-year-old from Salford and this young lady from Brighton have in common?

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Well, there are two things.

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Firstly, they both pluck their eyebrows,

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and, secondly, they've both opted to use tinted goggles to protect their eyes.

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Makes sense, but how will they protect the rest of their bodies?

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HE CHEERS

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I'm the oldest swinger in town,

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but watch me fly round this course! Whoo!

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Yes, right, he's away.

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He's in...

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..he's out -

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the course already bringing Dave to his knees.

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I don't know. I think he's made of the right stuff, this guy.

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On to the Slippery Stairs...

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Oh.

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Maybe a Slippery Stairlift would have helped.

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On to the Sucker Punch now, Flying Dave should have no problem here -

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the wall would never punch a pensioner.

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It's punched a pensioner!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Oooh! At least, it wasn't in the face.

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Natalie doesn't hang around at the Sucker Punch.

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Doesn't look like she wants to hang around in there either.

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Oh, God!

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At least she wore goggles.

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Looking ready for the Big Balls, Dave - just flying round.

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Here we go.

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Yes...ha-ha-ha!

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That kneeling technique there, that was never going to work,

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neither will his knees now probably.

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Now it's Natalie's turn.

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Moment of glory.

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What was that?

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Natalie did eventually finish in three minutes and 52 seconds.

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David finishes with a spot of rope burn...

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..in five minutes, seven seconds.

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Yes!

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Johnny, what is it you do for a living?

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I'm a personal trainer and I used to be in the military.

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Yes, sir! Now do you feel about coming up against some tough female chick competition?

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I'm not going to let them beat me. I will never, ever let them beat me.

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This one is for the boys out there to prove girls can't win! Come on!

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Did he really say... Don't involve me in it.

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He's off. Oh! See, ladies,

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if you wish for something hard enough, it really can come true.

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On to the Sucker Punch.

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Oh! That punch was from my eight-year-old daughter.

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Oh!

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Right, on to the Big Balls now for Action Man Johnny,

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and...

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Oooh! Oooh!

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Well, until he fell off, that was actually pretty good.

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Johnny marches to the finish line in one minute, 34 seconds -

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a very, very good time.

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But now for the women of Britain,

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let's take another look at Johnny falling off the Big Balls...

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..and then getting punched in the face - oh!

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Now, I just want to talk about those Big Balls for a minute,

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probably the toughest obstacles in the whole of Total Wipeout.

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What's more, they do have an amazing, almost magical ability

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to turn finely-tuned athletes into crash-test dummies,

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over and over again.

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MUSIC PLAYS: "Goodness Gracious Great Balls Of Fire" by Jerry Lee Lewis

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Yeah! Aggh!

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So how will 37-year-old mum Yvonne from Fife deal with the balls?

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Oh! Not very well.

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Yeah, starts reasonably well...

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then goes horribly wrong. Best not to land on your face there, Yvonne.

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Let's see that one more time.

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Next to try the Big Balls is Vicky.

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She's a nurse from Lincoln

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and has been preparing for this punishing course

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by walking her dogs and doing lots of swimming.

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Safe to say that the swimming has come in handy there.

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Backstroke - that's just showing off.

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Next up is 25-year-old Helena,

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who's here representing all the independent women out there.

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Now what is your motivation for being here today?

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I just want to prove to people that girls are just as good as guys

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-and we get stereotyped a lot.

-So what is it that you do?

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I do modelling.

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Do you have a boyfriend?

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Yeah, I do.

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-What does he do?

-He plays football.

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Ah, OK, so what do you do in your spare time?

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Go to the gym mostly - two or three times a week.

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Will Helena's training help her with the Sucker Punch, though?

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Well, she's fit, she's strong.

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No!

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In fact, the punch misses her face,

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but it's the body blow takes her off the wall

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and that's going to cost her time.

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Right, on to the Big Balls - she is gym-fit and toned,

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she could do it - could she be the one to clear them?

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It's just about balance. It's about...not doing that!

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No!

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Now Helena just has to land on the podium

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to finish a pretty decent time.

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Here we go, touchdown.

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No! No, let go!

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Did nobody tell her?

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Good grip, but stop it now.

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How is that pretty little model face doing - let me see?

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Ah, yes, all in one piece - how are you feeling?

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I'm so knackered.

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Still, a decent three minutes, 36, for Helena,

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and proof, if it were needed,

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that this course is bad for your health and your looks.

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This is shelf-stacker Blair and the pontoons aren't really an obstacle -

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she's just making it look tough.

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Not having much luck on the Slippery Stairs either.

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We'll rejoin Blair later when she's pulled herself together.

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I'm going to win this show, now watch me go!

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This is Phil. He's a 33-year-old website designer from Barnsley,

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but he also has an amazing talent up his sleeve -

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he's a part-time rapper.

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# I'm Phil, I'm 33 I'm in the place to be

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# I wanna win this thing on the BBC

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# I got my mummy in the hood saying I should

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# Trying my best to beat the rest Woh-woh-woh! Wipeout!

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# Let me here you scream... #

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And then everyone screams.

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Admit it, you screamed.

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That is quite an effort.

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It's a tougher obstacle than it looks. On to the Sucker Punch.

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Oh.

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Emcee Philly-Phil's secret talents don't end with rapping -

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he's also an amazing break dancer - look at him go.

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Oh, 'eck!

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Come on, Phil, show how those balls are done, B-boy style,

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whatever that is.

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Yes!

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No! I think that loud noise was his body popping.

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Come on, you can do this. Looking good!

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Emcee Philly-Phil keeps it real in the end with a time of two minutes,

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and 54 seconds.

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Will that be enough to take him into the top 12 and into the next round?

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Now let's see how Blair's getting on.

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How much confidence is in that face?

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Absolutely none.

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Oh, I think you'd agree that was the least-surprising fall of the day.

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And I can confirm that is the shortest distance

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ever travelled on the Sucker Punch.

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-Oh, this is so horrible.

-Yeah, it does look like Blair

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probably won't make it into the top 12 or out of that mud pit.

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While Blair enjoys her bath,

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let's see who's next.

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First stop, second round! Get some!

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This is 22-year-old event organiser Dan,

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and to keep himself one step ahead in the fashion stakes,

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he's opted to wear two headbands.

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All the kids are doing it these days apparently.

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And look at the concentration etched on Dan's face.

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Still on... Oh, he's off!

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That's why he wears two headbands - to keep one clean. Clever!

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-On to the Big Balls now.

-Have it! Come on!

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You could be in for a good time.

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Oh, that's got to be the fall of the day!

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Have it! Come on!

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So determined. He's going to cross them, he's going to cross them...

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and then it goes wrong.

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But the most damaging thing about this fall wasn't the blow to Dan's back,

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it was the loss of a precious headband.

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Good job he's got a spare.

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No, he's lost that! Wear three next time.

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Lucky! Have a go!

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Still, a very, very impressive one minute, 22 seconds

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for Headband Dan.

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I think he could be in with a shout today.

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Now it's time to answer the question on everybody's lips.

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How is Blair getting on?

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Go, girl, go. Yes!

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Oh, dear, not at all well.

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Still, Blair picks herself up, dusts herself down,

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and falls off the rope,

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but finally ends up with a time of six minutes, 44.

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Miracles do happen and perhaps Blair has surprised us all

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and hijacked the party at the top of the leader board.

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Unfortunately for Blair, the only miracle for Blair is that she's managed to complete the qualifier

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before it gets dark.

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Let's take a look at the leader board.

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Now, this Total Wipeout course is by no means just for the kids.

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Today's next three proud competitors are flying the flag

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for mums and dads everywhere.

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Let's just hope it doesn't turn out to be a little white flag!

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Meet dad of three, Nigel.

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This is for my friends, my family, my fans!

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I'm a winner!

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With a bit of luck, they won't be watching you, Nigel! Good luck.

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Yeah! I'm going to fly around the course!

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Yes! That's crazy legs Colin.

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I'm doing it for my kids, I'm doing it for Toby and Emily!

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Look what Mummy's doing!

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Yeah. Toby, Emily, you might want to hide behind the sofa for this.

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So, let's see if anyone can show us who's the daddy. Or the mummy.

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Alison's off first. Comes down to earth with a bang!

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Watch and learn, kids, this is textbook slipping!

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Windmill arms, high kicks, finish with a grimace. Perfect!

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Whilst Colin just surfs it in style.

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Nasty! Looks like three children is your lot, Nigel!

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-Yeah!

-I'm here!

0:20:450:20:47

Yeah. Yeah. Whoo! Whoo! Yeah.

0:20:470:20:55

So there you go, kids, your dad did well!

0:20:570:20:59

Not well, but he finished. You can be proud!

0:20:590:21:02

There are only five contestants left to go in the Qualifier.

0:21:020:21:05

For those waiting in the wings, the anticipation must be unbearable.

0:21:050:21:09

This is Perran, he's a pastry roller from Cornwall.

0:21:090:21:13

And apparently, quite a talker.

0:21:130:21:15

You are just oozing cool. Are you excited about the course today?

0:21:160:21:20

-Yeah.

-Have you been in, you know, really hard training?

0:21:200:21:24

Yeah.

0:21:240:21:26

-Really looking forward to it, then, are we?

-Yeah, man!

0:21:260:21:29

I think we've covered everything.

0:21:290:21:32

I am the master of Total Wipeout!

0:21:320:21:34

That looked painful!

0:21:370:21:39

Still, first time that hair's seen water for a while.

0:21:390:21:42

This is impressive stuff. He's a man of few words,

0:21:440:21:47

who obviously likes to let his actions do the talking.

0:21:470:21:50

Perran approaches the Big Balls.

0:21:510:21:53

Perran - part Cornishman, part Wookiee, all wet!

0:21:560:22:00

But Perran isn't down for long, and swings home

0:22:010:22:05

in one minute 30. I'm sure he's got a thing or two to say about that!

0:22:050:22:08

Three words to describe that course?

0:22:100:22:12

Tough...

0:22:120:22:14

I was about to say the same word again!

0:22:140:22:16

Erm...yeah, tough...

0:22:160:22:19

I can't think of any other two!

0:22:220:22:24

Tough, challenging...

0:22:250:22:27

..um...word to describe is not what it looks like.

0:22:270:22:32

Um...

0:22:320:22:35

No, I don't know.

0:22:370:22:38

Each of our 20 lucky competitors has to face the dreaded Sucker Punch,

0:22:420:22:47

and so far today, all have failed miserably to make it across.

0:22:470:22:52

With just four competitors to go,

0:22:520:22:53

will 21-year-old Irish student Adrienne

0:22:530:22:56

be the first to stay out of the mud?

0:22:560:22:58

Quite simply, no.

0:23:010:23:03

She does take two blows to the face before going down.

0:23:040:23:08

Yeah, that did it!

0:23:100:23:12

34-year-old personal trainer Cathy is next.

0:23:120:23:15

I'm here to show you guys how it's done!

0:23:150:23:19

Cathy's a personal trainer, so she's fit,

0:23:190:23:22

but will she be able to beat the Sucker Punch?

0:23:220:23:24

Like so many before,

0:23:290:23:30

Cathy gets up close and personal with the wet, brown stuff.

0:23:300:23:34

By which I mean, she's fallen in the mud.

0:23:340:23:36

Next to try his hand at the fists is cinema projectionist Ben.

0:23:360:23:41

Pain is temporary! Failure is forever!

0:23:410:23:44

Yes, and camouflage is for soldiers, not cinema projectionists.

0:23:440:23:48

Come on, keep going! Ben takes his turn on the Big Balls.

0:23:510:23:54

Having got across the first and second,

0:23:580:24:00

he just gets fingertips to the third,

0:24:000:24:02

it looks so close, and that is the best effort so far today.

0:24:020:24:05

Our last competitor, looking for a place in the top 12,

0:24:070:24:10

is 27-year-old radio DJ, Jon.

0:24:100:24:13

Taking on the Sucker Punch now.

0:24:180:24:19

Once was enough!

0:24:230:24:24

Oh, man, it's muddy!

0:24:240:24:27

That would be the last thing on my mind right now.

0:24:270:24:31

A punch like that first one would bring a tear to most men's eyes!

0:24:310:24:34

It took the second one to knock him off.

0:24:360:24:39

Big Balls, here I come!

0:24:450:24:47

Jon's shouting at the Big Balls,

0:24:470:24:50

employing his abilities as a radio presenter.

0:24:500:24:53

He hits the second ball and manages to get a finger across to the third

0:25:010:25:05

and a face full of rubber!

0:25:050:25:07

And then Jon manages to pioneer a brand new Total Wipeout move -

0:25:070:25:11

I shall christen it "The Scorpion."

0:25:110:25:14

Jon struggles to the finish line in two minutes, 27 seconds.

0:25:160:25:20

But he needs to be one of the fastest 12

0:25:200:25:22

to get through to the next round.

0:25:220:25:25

Here we have our final leader board.

0:25:270:25:29

So, congratulations to today's top 12,

0:25:490:25:52

because they're one step closer to clinching that £10,000 prize.

0:25:520:25:55

Now it's time to turn up the heat.

0:25:550:25:57

By which I mean, let's make more people fall off stuff.

0:25:570:26:01

Bring on the Sweeper!

0:26:010:26:02

All our 12 remaining Brits have to do now

0:26:070:26:11

is stay balanced on their podiums while that big sweeper arm

0:26:110:26:16

tries to knock them off, as it rotates faster and higher with every revolution.

0:26:160:26:19

The first six to fall in the water are eliminated.

0:26:190:26:23

But the sweeper will keep knocking people off

0:26:230:26:25

until we have our last man or woman standing.

0:26:250:26:28

And their prize is a psychological edge going into the next round.

0:26:280:26:33

On podium one, it's a pumped-up and confident Yvonne.

0:26:330:26:37

First to jump, last to fall!

0:26:370:26:39

You're having a laugh!

0:26:390:26:41

Next to her, on podium two, it's action man Johnny.

0:26:410:26:44

Sian and Cathy, you're going down!

0:26:440:26:47

On podiums three, four and five,

0:26:470:26:49

it's Shouty Chris, Colin and gymnast Sian.

0:26:490:26:52

I may be the youngest, but I'm going to show you how it's done!

0:26:520:26:55

On six and seven, it's Cathy and Headband Dan.

0:26:550:27:00

If I get through the Sweeper, I'll be ten grand richer!

0:27:000:27:03

Last six, baby, come on!

0:27:030:27:05

And next to Dan, our Wipeout WAG, Helena.

0:27:050:27:08

I might have came 12th in the Qualifier,

0:27:080:27:10

but I'll be the last woman standing! Whoo!

0:27:100:27:14

Aaah!

0:27:140:27:16

On podiums nine and ten, it's DJ Jon and MC Phil!

0:27:160:27:21

The Sweeper looks so demanding,

0:27:210:27:23

but I'm praying I'll be the last man standing!

0:27:230:27:26

And to round things off, on podiums 11 and 12,

0:27:260:27:29

Ben and Perran.

0:27:290:27:34

Perran there, just realising he's left the gas on.

0:27:340:27:37

So, only six people go through to the next round,

0:27:370:27:40

let's see how they get on. Amanda!

0:27:400:27:41

-Are you all ready up there?

-Yeah!

0:27:430:27:47

Yeah, they look absolutely terrified.

0:27:470:27:49

Three...two...one...

0:27:490:27:53

Slow and steady to start.

0:27:570:27:59

Disaster strikes for Colin, his legs have gone a bit too crazy!

0:28:050:28:09

C'est la vie, c'est la guerre!

0:28:120:28:14

Yeah, c'est la you're out, Colin!

0:28:140:28:16

Seconds later, footballer's sweetheart Helena becomes one wet WAG.

0:28:200:28:23

I'm not the last woman standing. First one down!

0:28:250:28:28

I tried my best, that's the best I can do.

0:28:460:28:48

That's the best you can do?! Phil makes a right mess of it

0:28:480:28:53

and nearly takes Ben out. Luckily, Ben hangs on.

0:28:530:28:56

# When the world leaves you feeling blue... #

0:28:560:29:00

Phil, you just lost all that credibility you built up!

0:29:000:29:03

# I will be there for you... #

0:29:030:29:05

Nine contenders are still in the game -

0:29:050:29:10

Yvonne, Johnny, Chris,

0:29:100:29:12

Sian, Cathy, Dan, who's now diving too,

0:29:120:29:16

Jon, Ben and Perran. But only six can go through

0:29:160:29:19

to the next round, so we still need some more tumbles.

0:29:190:29:22

I did it!

0:29:230:29:25

Come on, people, you're all wearing life jackets.

0:29:250:29:29

Be a shame not to use them. Fall off!

0:29:290:29:32

This nine are doing incredibly well.

0:29:320:29:35

CHEERING

0:29:370:29:40

And still they go!

0:29:440:29:46

This nine are just refusing to fall off!

0:29:460:29:49

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

0:29:490:29:52

Yeah, that's why we call him Shouty Chris.

0:29:520:29:55

Yvonne, this one, you're going down!

0:29:570:30:00

Oh, that's the spirit, Johnny!

0:30:000:30:03

And the Sweeper just keeps on getting faster...and faster...

0:30:030:30:08

Ooh! It's a disaster for DJ Jon!

0:30:080:30:11

I'm so annoyed with myself.

0:30:110:30:12

You know what? I could still be up there.

0:30:120:30:16

Yeah. Judging by that, Jon, your teeth could still be up there!

0:30:160:30:21

With every revolution, the Sweeper speeds up.

0:30:210:30:24

Eight contestants still standing now, but only six go through.

0:30:240:30:28

Headband Dan's barely got time to stand before he's back down,

0:30:350:30:39

but not out. Does anybody want to fall?

0:30:390:30:43

Yvonne's gone! And Chris, too! And that's lights out for Cathy.

0:30:500:30:54

Headband Dan collects the sweeper in the chest, didn't stand a chance.

0:30:570:31:01

Off the podium. But I think he's done the maths here.

0:31:010:31:05

He's celebrating, because he's seen six have already gone down,

0:31:050:31:09

that means he's in the final six to go through.

0:31:090:31:12

Ever sympathetic Amanda there, really feeling for Dan's pain(!)

0:31:120:31:16

But that was carnage! Let's slow this down,

0:31:160:31:19

and see exactly what's going on.

0:31:190:31:21

Down goes Yvonne, that's seven left,

0:31:210:31:23

then Chris goes down - we have our final six.

0:31:230:31:26

Then just behind him is Cathy.

0:31:260:31:29

She goes down, but she hits the water after Chris,

0:31:310:31:34

that means she goes through to the next round.

0:31:340:31:37

Chris and Yvonne are out.

0:31:370:31:39

I was so scared up there, I was terrified!

0:31:390:31:42

I thought, "I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this!"

0:31:420:31:45

It just caught the tip of my toe.

0:31:450:31:48

I just think, in one more sequence, I'd have made it.

0:31:480:31:52

Last man standing, come on! No bird's going to beat me!

0:31:520:31:56

You'll have to forgive Johnny, he's only nine years old.

0:31:560:31:59

No bird's going to beat me! Come on!

0:31:590:32:02

Justice, ladies and gentlemen, is served up, Total Wipeout style.

0:32:120:32:15

He's gone!

0:32:150:32:17

So, Sian, Ben and Perran are left.

0:32:170:32:19

Who will be our last man standing?

0:32:190:32:21

No wonder Sian didn't clear that - it's up to waist height on her!

0:32:300:32:33

Aagh! That looks nasty.

0:32:330:32:37

Funny, but nasty.

0:32:390:32:40

We started with 12, we're down to the last two.

0:32:400:32:44

Hold your horses!

0:32:480:32:50

I think...yeah, Perran has definitely just fallen off.

0:32:500:32:55

That makes big Ben our last man standing and Sweeper king!

0:32:570:33:00

So, 12 are now six.

0:33:020:33:03

Let's remind ourselves who they are and how they got here.

0:33:030:33:07

First up, it's our number one Qualifier and fashion icon, Headband Dan.

0:33:070:33:12

Let's have a go!

0:33:120:33:15

Next, it's the pint-sized pixie from Wales, gymnast Sian.

0:33:150:33:19

You ain't seen nothing yet!

0:33:190:33:20

Then there's action man Johnny. Truly, a man for the new millennium.

0:33:230:33:27

No bird's going to beat me!

0:33:270:33:28

Yeah. Then, there's personal trainer and mum of three, Cathy.

0:33:280:33:33

I'm here to show you guys how it's done!

0:33:330:33:35

And we've got Cornish pastry roller, chatty Perran.

0:33:370:33:40

I am the master of Total Wipeout!

0:33:400:33:43

Stranger to the barber, but a master nonetheless.

0:33:430:33:46

And finally, there's camouflage-wearing cinema projectionist, big...

0:33:460:33:50

-Pain is temporary!

-..bad...

-Failure is forever!

-..Ben, the Sweeper king.

0:33:500:33:55

These six have been through a lot. But it doesn't get any easier,

0:33:570:34:00

so let's give them a huge amount of encouragement,

0:34:000:34:03

as we watch them falling over and getting wet.

0:34:030:34:06

Let's move on to the Dizzy Dummies.

0:34:060:34:08

Here's how it works - we spin the competitors round and round

0:34:130:34:17

and when they can barely walk, we ask them to battle across obstacles

0:34:170:34:21

that would be difficult enough if you weren't dizzy.

0:34:210:34:24

We run the game three times, and each time,

0:34:240:34:27

the last person across will be eliminated,

0:34:270:34:30

leaving us with our three finalists.

0:34:300:34:32

Quite simply, the object of the game is don't come last!

0:34:320:34:36

The first obstacles are the Tippy Tables,

0:34:360:34:38

and then it's on to the Dock Maze. All clear? Let's get spinning!

0:34:380:34:44

Off they all go, 40 seconds of high speed spinning.

0:34:480:34:52

Six people in a human centrifuge. Rather them than me!

0:34:520:34:55

-Aaargh!

-Somebody's screaming. I think it's Ben.

0:34:550:35:01

-Ben does not look good!

-Oh, he'll get better.

0:35:010:35:05

Eventually.

0:35:050:35:07

And they're off! Sian's first out of the blocks,

0:35:070:35:12

Johnny's got other ideas. Ladies first, Johnny? No, thought not.

0:35:120:35:16

Johnny makes a dash for it and crosses the line.

0:35:210:35:24

Sian, Perran and Cathy have all slipped into the water.

0:35:260:35:29

Dan, now, out in front, on his own.

0:35:330:35:36

And he dives over the finish line.

0:35:360:35:39

Perran, there, he doesn't hang around! Will he...?

0:35:440:35:47

Yes, he has, he's made it!

0:35:470:35:50

So, Sian, Cathy and Ben are left. Sian's got the tables to herself.

0:35:500:35:54

And she's safe!

0:35:540:35:57

Last one over's out, remember that!

0:35:580:36:01

So, either Cathy or Ben will be eliminated.

0:36:010:36:05

Ben does his best to upset the table,

0:36:050:36:07

but only succeeds in falling in himself!

0:36:070:36:09

That could be curtains for our Sweeper king.

0:36:090:36:12

ALL: Cathy! Cathy! Cathy!

0:36:120:36:15

There's only one place up for grabs.

0:36:150:36:18

Cathy's made it, it's hers! Ben is eliminated.

0:36:180:36:21

Ben, so close but so very, very far! Where did it all go wrong?

0:36:240:36:29

I just couldn't get a grip.

0:36:290:36:31

Went onto it, but just slipped, couldn't get a grip.

0:36:310:36:35

-Did you think you might have beat her across?

-No, far from it!

0:36:350:36:39

Five left, and one more is about to be eliminated,

0:36:390:36:43

this time by the Dock Maze. Our competitors are strapped in.

0:36:430:36:46

The Dizzy Dummy is primed.

0:36:460:36:48

And apparently, they've all had Scotch eggs for lunch.

0:36:480:36:51

I can't believe we're doing this again!

0:36:520:36:54

So, off they spin, once again, round and round and round they go,

0:36:540:37:00

for 40 sickening seconds. I feel ill just watching!

0:37:000:37:05

Johnny's out first, closely followed by Sian.

0:37:110:37:13

Headband Dan dives in, and takes Sian and Perran out as well.

0:37:180:37:24

That leaves Johnny out in front to cross the line. Go on, Johnny!

0:37:260:37:32

Will he? Yes, he has! Still without a drop of water on him.

0:37:320:37:35

Sian's back at the start.

0:37:350:37:38

Watch out, cos here comes Dan.

0:37:380:37:41

Dan all over Perrin like a cheap suit.

0:37:410:37:44

Or a dodgy hairstyle.

0:37:440:37:46

Sian just inches from the line. ..Oh, she's fallen in!

0:37:460:37:49

Cathy and Headband Dan on the same block. Perrin jumps on with them.

0:37:520:37:56

Surely this now can end only one way.

0:37:560:38:00

That way. Now Perrin is stranded miles away from the last block.

0:38:000:38:05

What can he do?

0:38:050:38:06

That was an astonishing leap.

0:38:080:38:11

A fine effort, but no cigar.

0:38:110:38:13

Just a mouthful of wet hair.

0:38:130:38:16

Sian has done a clever thing - wait for the pontoons to float back together again.

0:38:160:38:22

-She is across. She's done it.

-CHEERING

0:38:220:38:25

So three are left - only two can continue.

0:38:250:38:28

Perrin spots a gap round Cathy, but they both end up in the water.

0:38:280:38:32

Dan now holding on for dear life.

0:38:320:38:35

And Headband Dan crawls over the finish line.

0:38:350:38:39

I think he's relieved.

0:38:390:38:40

Only Perrin and Cathy left. The last one across will be eliminated.

0:38:400:38:45

Perrin makes a run for it.

0:38:450:38:47

And leaps for the line like a Cornish kangaroo.

0:38:470:38:50

And he's made it! He's made it! Cathy is eliminated.

0:38:500:38:55

Cathy, you've such a competitive streak in you.

0:38:570:39:00

Do you feel gutted right now?

0:39:000:39:02

Yeah, I'm gutted, I'm gutted.

0:39:020:39:03

Listen, you've been wonderful, but those strong legs of yours couldn't get into the next round.

0:39:030:39:08

-But well done, Cathy.

-Thank you.

-OK.

0:39:080:39:11

Although Cathy and Ben have both been eliminated,

0:39:110:39:14

we still need to lose one more competitor.

0:39:140:39:17

So the stragglers must strap themselves back in.

0:39:170:39:20

And the Argentinian bloke that powers the Dizzy Dummy needs to get back on his bike.

0:39:200:39:24

So it is the last spin for this lot.

0:39:240:39:27

The loser will be kissing goodbye to any chance of winning the £10,000 prize money.

0:39:270:39:32

Remember, only the first three will go through to the Wipeout Zone.

0:39:320:39:35

-Slowing to a stop.

-KLAXON

0:39:350:39:38

-And they're off.

-Here they go. One last attempt.

0:39:380:39:42

Oh, my God!

0:39:420:39:43

Oh, disaster for Johnny as he takes a dip in the water

0:39:460:39:48

for the first time.

0:39:480:39:50

About time too.

0:39:500:39:52

Headband Dan has made a right mess of it which leaves Sian with a clear roll across the tables.

0:39:530:39:58

And she's across the first table. And the second!

0:40:010:40:04

And she's through to the Wipeout Zone.

0:40:040:40:06

-Go, Sian!

-We have a woman in the final!

0:40:060:40:09

Johnny's off again. Did Headband Dan just tip the table?

0:40:110:40:15

And Dan's tipped Perrin in too!

0:40:150:40:18

Dirty but effective tactics from Headband Dan.

0:40:180:40:20

-Dan, Dan, Dan!

-He's across the first table.

0:40:200:40:24

He's not making friends, but he is making distance.

0:40:240:40:26

He's over the second and through to the Wipeout Zone.

0:40:260:40:29

So Sian and Dan are already through.

0:40:290:40:34

It's Perrin versus Johnny

0:40:340:40:36

for the last place in the final.

0:40:360:40:39

Perrin using all his strength to have a last go,

0:40:390:40:42

but Action Man Johnny jumps on

0:40:420:40:45

and completely upsets the table.

0:40:450:40:46

I think he may have done that on purpose.

0:40:460:40:50

Yes!

0:40:500:40:51

He springs for the line and Johnny has done it. He's in the final with Sian and Dan.

0:40:510:40:56

Perrin is eliminated.

0:40:560:40:57

Where did it all go wrong? Was it the very end?

0:40:570:41:00

I just kept sliding off.

0:41:000:41:02

For someone who didn't say very much at the beginning, you were full of beans on that last round.

0:41:020:41:07

No problem, man.

0:41:070:41:08

Couldn't have put it better myself. Well, couldn't have put it the same way.

0:41:080:41:12

Perrin, Cathy and Ben are out.

0:41:120:41:14

Sian, Dan and Action Man Johnny go through to the Wipeout Zone

0:41:140:41:18

for their chance to win that £10,000 prize.

0:41:180:41:21

But before we unleash our three finalists on the most challenging

0:41:210:41:25

and downright scary obstacle course in the world,

0:41:250:41:28

let's have a look at their journey to today's final.

0:41:280:41:31

Getting to the final was... an amazing achievement for me.

0:41:330:41:37

Facing the Wipeout Zone tonight, I feel anxious, nervous.

0:41:370:41:41

Like nothing I've done before. It'll be a tough course.

0:41:410:41:44

Now we're down to the last three,

0:41:440:41:45

we're each looking at each other, knowing one person will win that 10 grand.

0:41:450:41:49

And, yeah, it's a lot more competitive.

0:41:490:41:52

I'm surprised Sian's here, being a girl. I expected three fit males to be there.

0:41:550:42:00

I'm pleased there's a girl in the final. It's between me or Johnny now.

0:42:000:42:04

Dan and Johnny don't think I can do very well.

0:42:040:42:07

And they think they've got it easy, but I'll give them a run for their money.

0:42:070:42:12

I think people underestimate me a lot.

0:42:140:42:16

Sian, the little girl from Wales.

0:42:160:42:18

She's smaller, probably slower.

0:42:180:42:22

She'll not be able to keep up with our physical stamina and mental ability.

0:42:220:42:26

I'm going to do it for the girls, for Wales. I'll give it all I've got.

0:42:260:42:29

I'm going to win Total Wipeout cos I'm best competitor there is.

0:42:310:42:35

I deserve to be up there and I will be the winner at the end.

0:42:350:42:38

I've been confident throughout, I've been leading throughout. I'm going to roll it in the final.

0:42:380:42:43

Night has fallen in Buenos Aires. That's in Argentina. Keep up.

0:42:500:42:54

Our three finalists are readying themselves for the biggest challenge of their lives.

0:42:540:42:59

It's called the Wipeout Zone, and you've never seen anything like it.

0:42:590:43:03

Unless you saw last week's show.

0:43:030:43:05

Or the one before that.

0:43:050:43:07

OK, so it's an obstacle course like you may have seen before,

0:43:070:43:10

but it's still massive and really frightening.

0:43:100:43:12

This is what our three finalists - Johnny, Dan and Sian -

0:43:180:43:21

have to face.

0:43:210:43:22

First, they launch themselves down the high-speed Killer Surf.

0:43:220:43:26

Next it's a swing to the Barrel Run where they hurdle 50kg barrels

0:43:260:43:31

as they roll towards them.

0:43:310:43:33

Then it's a treacherous and slippery climb across the Waterfall

0:43:330:43:36

before leaping onto the fast-moving Spinner,

0:43:360:43:40

traversing the Rolling Beam and finishing with a leap

0:43:400:43:43

off the Launch Pads.

0:43:430:43:44

The fastest finalist will be tonight's winner and take home

0:43:440:43:48

the £10,000 prize.

0:43:480:43:49

They have waded through water,

0:43:490:43:52

bounced off balls

0:43:520:43:53

and spun themselves dizzy,

0:43:530:43:55

all in an attempt to get to the most difficult challenge yet -

0:43:550:43:58

the Wipeout Zone.

0:43:580:44:00

And first to go is Johnny.

0:44:000:44:02

Come on, yes!

0:44:040:44:06

So ex-soldier Johnny is up first.

0:44:060:44:10

-KLAXON

-No doubt desperate to beat Sian.

0:44:100:44:12

Super-competitive Action Man Johnny is off.

0:44:160:44:19

Swims now towards the Barrel Run. Johnny used to be in the army,

0:44:190:44:23

so should have plenty of experience on obstacle courses.

0:44:230:44:26

Though not necessarily exactly like this one.

0:44:260:44:28

I probably should mention that walkway is covered in grease.

0:44:310:44:34

And those barrels now rolling towards him weigh a whopping 50kg.

0:44:340:44:39

Ooh!

0:44:390:44:42

Johnny's adapted his style halfway through. It's less dignified

0:44:440:44:48

but still effective.

0:44:480:44:50

Don't forget, he's got to set the time for the other two to beat.

0:44:500:44:53

Now he's onto the wet and slippery Climbing Wall.

0:44:530:44:57

Ooh, that was nearly a very costly slip.

0:44:570:45:01

Maybe he's trying to keep the tension up for us watching.

0:45:010:45:04

The Spinner. He's got to leap onto it. Johnny prepares. ..He's across!

0:45:040:45:08

He makes it and, more importantly, he's got something to hold onto.

0:45:080:45:11

But the longer he stays on the Spinner, the dizzier he'll get.

0:45:110:45:15

That'll make it harder for the next obstacle.

0:45:150:45:18

Nice work! He's done it first time.

0:45:190:45:22

Just the Rolling Beam and Launch Pads to go now.

0:45:220:45:25

No problem there for Johnny. I'd say we could be in for a very good time.

0:45:250:45:30

Oh! He's made his first error.

0:45:300:45:32

It was all going so well for Johnny up until that point.

0:45:320:45:36

And that mistake will cost him vital seconds.

0:45:360:45:40

Johnny now climbs up the ladder.

0:45:400:45:42

He's got to go back up to the first Launch Pad

0:45:420:45:45

and make it to the second.

0:45:450:45:47

Oh, he's fallen in again! This is a disaster

0:45:470:45:49

for Action Man Johnny.

0:45:490:45:51

Great news for womankind.

0:45:510:45:53

For him, a disaster.

0:45:530:45:54

After such a promising start,

0:45:540:45:56

it's all turned into a frustrating end. This could cost him 10 grand.

0:45:560:46:02

Keeping control now.

0:46:020:46:03

Onto the second trampoline.

0:46:060:46:09

He can nearly touch the finish line!

0:46:090:46:11

He's there!

0:46:140:46:16

And Johnny has done it

0:46:160:46:17

with a time of...

0:46:170:46:20

But he'll be so annoyed with himself. He made such a strong start in the Wipeout Zone,

0:46:210:46:26

but then threw it all away

0:46:260:46:27

on the Launch Pads.

0:46:270:46:28

-What happened?

-I don't know. I just couldn't do it.

0:46:320:46:35

It went in too fast, too quick.

0:46:350:46:37

-I expected that to be easy, having been in the army!

-I can tell you right now

0:46:370:46:41

-that your time was 4 minutes and 24 seconds.

-Oh, well. OK.

0:46:410:46:45

Right. Next up is Dan.

0:46:450:46:47

Let's have it right! Let's go! KLAXON

0:46:490:46:52

Whoo!

0:46:520:46:54

And he's off!

0:46:580:47:01

Dan, a 22-year-old event organiser from Surrey,

0:47:010:47:03

front-crawls his way through the water.

0:47:030:47:06

Crawls his way up the beam.

0:47:080:47:09

Onto the Barrel Run where he's got to try and stay out of the way

0:47:090:47:14

of those barrels.

0:47:140:47:16

Ooh! It was nearly all over before it started.

0:47:170:47:20

Dan's opting for Johnny's slightly over-dramatic leaping technique.

0:47:210:47:25

It does look effective,

0:47:250:47:27

but I suspect it costs him valuable time.

0:47:270:47:30

He's getting over, he's staying on, but it's taking time.

0:47:330:47:37

Onto the wall now, Dan feeling the full force

0:47:370:47:40

of the water crashing down on him at a rate of 2,000 litres a minute.

0:47:400:47:43

Come on! Come on!

0:47:430:47:46

Support from his competitors.

0:47:460:47:49

So to the Spinner. Will he get on first time like Johnny?

0:47:510:47:55

Yeah, he does.

0:47:570:47:58

Dan is safely on. Now he's got to wait for the perfect time to leap.

0:47:580:48:02

Get the timing wrong and he's in the drink - that will cost him time.

0:48:020:48:06

Excellent judgement from Headband Dan.

0:48:090:48:13

Now Dan needs to steady himself for the Roller Beam.

0:48:150:48:18

But he's made light work of that. Oh, no! Disaster for Dan!

0:48:220:48:26

He's face-planted onto the first Launch Pad.

0:48:260:48:29

Out of control. A slip. I don't know what happened but that's gotta hurt.

0:48:290:48:33

The clock keeps on ticking while Dan clambers back up

0:48:330:48:36

for another go.

0:48:360:48:37

A more gentle approach works better this time.

0:48:370:48:40

Making the leap to the second pad.

0:48:400:48:42

Dan's showing Johnny how this should be done now.

0:48:420:48:46

And he's done it!

0:48:470:48:48

In a time of...

0:48:480:48:50

-Easy!

-Strong display from Headband Dan, but he doesn't know yet

0:48:500:48:54

whether he's beaten Johnny.

0:48:540:48:56

That was an impressive performance.

0:48:580:49:01

A more cautious approach on the Launch Pad paid off for Dan

0:49:010:49:04

in the end, but will it be paying out to the tune of 10 grand?

0:49:040:49:09

Come on out to me, Dan the man! How was that for you?

0:49:090:49:12

It was good fun, yeah. Really enjoyed that.

0:49:120:49:15

-Win or lose now, it's the experience that it's all about.

-The question is

0:49:150:49:19

are you faster than Johnny?

0:49:190:49:22

And I can tell you

0:49:240:49:25

-that you were indeed faster!

-Yeah, brilliant!

0:49:250:49:29

So Dan has raced around the course and beaten Johnny's time

0:49:310:49:35

by some margin.

0:49:350:49:37

It is now a straight contest between Sian and Dan

0:49:370:49:40

for that £10,000 prize

0:49:400:49:42

and the title of Total Wipeout champion.

0:49:420:49:45

Let's head back to the start line.

0:49:450:49:46

Next to go is gymnastics coach Sian.

0:49:510:49:53

-KLAXON

-She started today's qualifier

0:49:530:49:55

with some impressive flipping.

0:49:550:49:57

She needs to be flipping impressive now.

0:50:000:50:02

Making her way towards the beam.

0:50:020:50:05

These beams covered in grease makes it so hard to drag herself out

0:50:050:50:09

of the water when she gets there.

0:50:090:50:11

Sian isn't as tall as her two rivals,

0:50:110:50:14

which is definitely a disadvantage going into the Barrel Run.

0:50:140:50:18

That first barrel completely taken her out. And the second.

0:50:180:50:21

Oh, she's really struggling.

0:50:210:50:23

The barrels ganging up on poor Sian. It's not fair!

0:50:260:50:29

Oh! Then, it IS the Wipeout Zone.

0:50:290:50:32

Sian now must start the Barrel Run all over again.

0:50:340:50:37

The clock, meanwhile, just keeps on ticking.

0:50:370:50:40

Don't forget those barrels weigh 50kg each.

0:50:410:50:45

Ah! She's also now going for the dramatic leap technique.

0:50:470:50:51

It worked for her rivals. Works so far for her too.

0:50:510:50:55

Making her way now up across the Climbing Wall...

0:50:560:50:59

actually very quickly and picking up time here.

0:50:590:51:03

It's not over yet. She's still in this.

0:51:030:51:06

Staying smooth and in control.

0:51:080:51:11

She's made one error already. Sian needs to get across the Spinner

0:51:110:51:15

quickly now if she's to beat Dan's time.

0:51:150:51:18

She's on!

0:51:180:51:20

She's on. She's gone for it first time. She's on it.

0:51:200:51:22

She's got to get off it.

0:51:220:51:24

And she's... Oh, she's misjudged the landing!

0:51:240:51:28

It's so easy to do.

0:51:280:51:29

10 grand! 10 grand!

0:51:290:51:31

Sian managed to get both feet onto the platform,

0:51:320:51:35

but her momentum just carried her too far.

0:51:350:51:38

She's got to climb back up the Waterfall

0:51:410:51:44

and attempt the Spinner once again.

0:51:440:51:47

She's on.

0:51:470:51:49

And attempt number two - she's done it. ..Good work, Sian.

0:51:510:51:54

Oh, my word! That is spectacular!

0:51:590:52:01

But it's too little too late.

0:52:030:52:05

Sian gallantly tried her best,

0:52:050:52:08

but it wasn't enough to beat Dan on the night.

0:52:080:52:11

Sian, what an incredible finish to that course!

0:52:130:52:16

That was monumental! How are you feeling?

0:52:160:52:20

Knackered!

0:52:200:52:21

How do you think you did time-wise tonight?

0:52:210:52:24

I don't think I did too badly,

0:52:240:52:26

but I think Dan did better.

0:52:260:52:28

Well, I can tell you now

0:52:280:52:30

the winner of £10,000

0:52:300:52:33

and the Total Wipeout champion

0:52:330:52:35

this evening is...

0:52:350:52:37

Dan!

0:52:370:52:39

DAN CHEERS

0:52:390:52:42

Whoo!

0:52:430:52:46

Well done, Dan. And well done, Sian, for beating Johnny,

0:52:460:52:49

-which we all wanted to see happen.

-Whoo!

0:52:490:52:52

Congratulations to headband ambassador Dan Hill-Smith,

0:52:520:52:56

who is today's Total Wipeout champion

0:52:560:52:58

and also 10 grand better off.

0:52:580:53:00

Maybe he'll spend the lot on one massive headband.

0:53:000:53:03

Join us next time for more of this...

0:53:030:53:07

And this...

0:53:090:53:11

So, from Amanda and me, it's goodbye. See you next time.

0:53:140:53:17

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0:53:240:53:27

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