Episode 1 When I Get Older

This programme contains some strong language.

This is the story of famous pensioners who leave behind wealth, comfort and busy lives...

Why do they keep me alive?

..to move in with the UK's forgotten old people.

Hi. I'm Lesley.

People who live on the edge of all our lives...

..dealing with the grind of poverty...

Sometimes I feel as though I'd be better off dead.

..the pain of caring for someone...

He had a life and so did I. We've got nothing now.

..the anguish of bereavement...

I do miss her.

..and the loneliness of isolation.

I prefer my own company. That's how you get when you get older.

67-year-old BBC World Affairs Editor John Simpson...

It's an exploration for me.

I want to know what old age is.

66-year-old actress Lesley Joseph...

I hope they can maybe learn from me,

I can learn from them, and we can go on a bit of a journey.

71-year-old presenter and journalist Gloria Hunniford...

I am fascinated with getting this snapshot of other people's lives.

And 65-year-old actor and presenter Tony Robinson...

All of us are complicit in giving elderly people shit lives.

This series will shine a spotlight

on the way our elderly live in the UK today.

I just can't believe this is how I'm living.

'I am shocked to think that the fridge is just so empty.'

There's nothing in it.

WHEEZING COUGH

How will the four famous pensioners cope with an old age

a world away from their own?

I just didn't want to live now she had gone.

I've been here a day. I feel exhausted.

Together, can they change the course of the final years of their lives?

That's all I wanted, really, was a push.

Do you know what? I could get used to this life.

If more people had the time,

maybe there would be a real shift in the lives of elderly people.

-Oh!

-Oh!

One thing I'm not going to do is bloody choke up.

It's day one and the four well-known personalities are on their way to meet their OAP hosts.

Hi.

For the next four days,

they will immerse themselves in the pensioners' lives

and confront the challenges they face head-on.

I feel a bit nervous, a little bit apprehensive.

It is becoming very real.

For 40 years, I have been a fiend about research.

And here I am about to live with somebody for a few days,

not knowing anything whatsoever about them.

Day one is about getting to know their host

before thinking about how it might be possible to help them.

Going to the unknown, facing things I don't normally face,

and my instinct has obviously been

to bring the kind of stuff that I take to war zones.

Despite being 67, globetrotting TV news reporter John Simpson

shows no signs of slowing down.

I don't really think about retirement

because I've got no intention of stopping.

As well as refusing to retire, John recently started a new family

and has a six-year-old son, Rafe, with his wife Dee.

'Sometimes I'm walking down the street with my wife and the kid

'and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think,'

"Who's that old white-haired bastard with my wife?"

And you realise it's actually you.

John's travelled to more than 120 countries,

but for the next four days he won't be going anywhere.

New hairdo.

John's about to experience what it's like to be a housebound pensioner

by moving in with isolated widow Peggy Booth.

83-year-old Peggy lives alone in rural Suffolk.

She doesn't get many visitors and spends hour after hour

watching television alone.

If you're left on your own, you've got to get on with your life.

You've either got to give up or get on and I'm never going to give up.

After years alone, Peggy has lost interest

in what other people think of her

and on the few occasions she does go out, she doesn't get on brilliantly with the villagers.

Peggy can be stubborn, possibly cantankerous.

There's a lot of people who don't like me.

Steer clear a bit, you know. She rubs people up.

They either take me or leave me.

Like it or lump it! SHE LAUGHS

After a lifetime dodging bullets in war zones, this may turn out

to be one of John's toughest assignments yet.

-Hello.

-Hello.

-How are you?

I do recognise the face! JOHN CHUCKLES

How are you? It's very nice to see you.

-Thank you for having me.

-Come on in.

-Look, this is my little freezer...

-Yes.

..and this is where I keep my microwave dinners, you see.

Yes, very nice.

There's just one small shop in the village

but Peggy has to have food delivered once a week.

-This is my storeroom.

-I see.

I've always got food in the house.

From now on, everything John eats at Peggy's

will be either frozen or tinned.

-What is the time? Is it four o'clock?

-It is...four o'clock exactly.

There's some wrestling coming on at four.

Now, him, CM Punk, he's a good wrestler, but he's a bit cocky.

He says he's the best wrestler in the world, but he isn't.

66-year-old Birds Of A Feather actress Lesley Joseph is headed for Dartford in Kent.

I don't think I'm setting out on this journey

to revolutionise somebody's life.

But I hope I can bring a little humour to their lives as well

because I'm glass half-full, not glass half-empty.

Some of the gardens are really well kept and some aren't.

I'll be glad when I see what's behind the door.

Lesley's optimism might be tested,

as she's about to discover just how hard it is to care for someone you love in old age.

People have got to see that life goes on.

Even if you have got a disability, you still want to go away.

74-year-old Pat Still has been looking after her partner Malcolm

since a series of strokes left him paralysed four years ago.

WHEEZING COUGH

Oh, dear.

Got nothing now.

-TEARFULLY:

-You had your allotment, didn't you?

I know it doesn't seem much to people, but he had a life.

And so did I. He hasn't got any life.

-Don't start crying.

-I'm not. I'm just so...so upset

that the man that was, isn't.

And the woman I was - well, I don't know where she's gone.

It's very sad, because she's having to look after me.

It's horrible to look after someone.

I don't want to be a carer. I want him back.

I want him being the horrible, frustrating thing he used to be.

There are almost three million elderly carers in Britain

and Pat and Malcolm are allowing a well-known personality into their home

to show what their life is really like.

Sometimes, if you're famous, you think you should have special this and that.

But they're not. Malcolm's the star.

-Freddie Starr.

-He'd like a comedian, I think.

Oh, this is pretty!

This is lovely.

Oooh!

LESLEY LAUGHS

-How are you, darling?

-I'm fine.

-What's your name?

-Pat.

-Pat. Nice to see you.

-And you.

-Oh. Hello.

Hello, darling.

-This is Malcolm.

-Malcolm, hi.

-Hi.

-I'm Lesley.

-You knew immediately, didn't you?

-Yes.

It's Lesley. Lesley Joseph.

For the next four days, Lesley, alongside Pat,

is going to take on the role of Malcolm's carer around the clock.

-Can you do that with your feet?

-Yes.

-Can you do...? You can move your feet?

-Yeah.

And we've paid for the stairlift ourselves.

But that's his hope chair.

Please, God, you'll be up on the stairlift again -

-that's what you aim for.

-Yeah.

Cos I think if you give up hope, you know, there's nothing left, really.

Gravesend has got to be one of the most unattractive names for a town

that you can think of.

This is the bottom of the cemetery.

Dad-of-two Tony Robinson recently got married for the second time

to 30-year-old Louise Hobbs.

The only thing that I feel insulates me

from the terrors of old age

is that I'm very, very close to my family.

And I don't think I'll be alone in my old age.

And that is a huge balm.

But not everyone is as lucky as Tony.

I've forgotten my stick. Where did I put it?

89-year-old former singer Philip Hubert

has struggled to cope since the death of his wife

after 68 years of marriage.

I lost her 17 months ago.

It's been very hard.

I do miss her.

HE SOBS

Philip is a D-Day veteran and lives by himself in a one-bedroom council flat.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-I'm all right. How are you?

-Pleased to meet you.

-What's your name?

-My name's Philip.

-Philip, hello.

-Can I come in?

-You can.

-Right. Down here?

-That's it.

Up until now, nobody has succeeded in helping Philip get over his grief.

-Oh, this is lovely.

-Park it round the corner. I wouldn't think so!

-We're not sharing a room, then?

-At the moment, it's like a dump to me.

Since his wife's death,

Philip has even struggled to keep on top of the housework.

I lost the wife and I lost interest.

-This is the problem. That's the main problem.

-Oh, yeah.

-How long ago was that?

-17 months ago now.

-After 68 years. It's a hell of a wrench.

-It is, isn't it?

-Huge.

-Hell of a wrench.

Broadcaster Gloria Hunniford has become a consumer champion at the age of 71.

A recent BBC investigation found that some pension sellers

are actually taking - I could believe this -

the equivalent of 80% of the money that you've paid into them.

Gloria is planning to put her financial expertise into practice

to help the pensioner she's about to move in with.

I would love to make even a couple of minor changes

that would make life easier for that individual.

What is this? Is it my money, my allowance?

But before she does anything,

Gloria is going to have to prove she can practise what she preaches.

Two fivers. A few coins at the bottom.

"Throughout your stay, you will have the same disposable income as a host.

"That means you will have to survive on £3.24 a day."

SHE WHISTLES

I just want to check, is this all she has per day? For everything?

-Is it?

-Disposable.

-This is shocking.

Shocking. So...

-Hello.

-Hello.

-How are you? They haven't even told me your name.

-Ivy.

-You're Ivy. And I'm Gloria.

-Come on in.

-Well, this is quite a project and a half, Ivy.

-Oh, I know!

Gloria will spend the next four days

living on the breadline with 62-year-old Ivy Ward in Darwen, just outside Blackburn.

I've just been given, literally, just over three pounds a day

to live on while I'm here. So I think you're going to be able

-to teach me something about how...

-How to survive on nothing!

Well, how to survive on it, yeah.

After bills and debts,

Ivy's left with just £23 a week of her pension to live on.

-This is what I've got in.

-Gosh.

It's not exactly a well-stocked cupboard, is it? Bless you.

And what do you keep in your fridge?

-Gosh. That's it?

-Yeah.

Ivy's just one of nearly two million pensioners in Britain

estimated to be living in poverty.

I am shocked to think that the fridge is just so empty.

There's nothing in it. Nothing.

Sometimes I feel as though I shouldn't be here.

I'd be better off...dead.

With no private pension, mother-of-five Ivy's kitted out her rented home

with furniture donated by family and friends.

-This is where you will be sleeping.

-This is where I'm staying? OK.

-But my bed broke, so we're going to have to try...

-Where's it broken?

Oh, I see what you mean.

I suppose I'm surprised it's broken. I thought I might at least have a bed to lie down on.

She can't believe this is how I'm living.

It is so uncomfortable, and it is,

you can feel every single bit of wire or spring in here.

She has this. Maybe I can put this on top of the mattress.

First job, really, is to get this bed fixed and have somewhere to lie down, if nothing else.

-No money under there, is there?

-There's a lot of peanuts.

Tony's wasted no time in getting to grips with the domestic chores.

This place really is a bit of a mess,

and the problem is he just thinks, "Oh, it's a bit untidy."

-Got some fluff on it, has it?

-It's hair.

I don't know whose hair, cos you've got a full head.

It could have been some of the wife's.

Oh, that's a thought, isn't it?

And I was pulling off great big chunks of his wife...

I didn't know how to make the moment better.

I just dropped it in the rubbish bag

that hangs round the back of the door.

-So that's your wife.

-That's the wife.

Philip and his wife used to run theatre and singing groups.

But Philip hasn't felt able to sing since she died.

It's only these last three years that I've gone to pieces.

I just didn't want to live now she's gone.

I just didn't care.

I just start crying over the slightest thing and talking about my wife.

It's like he's been stuck in this flat for ages and ages and ages

since the moment she died.

'I found his sadness very hard.

'Not little bits of sadness,'

I just found that great well of...

sadness very, very difficult to...

..to counter.

-That's a miss! He's a cocky little so-and-so.

-Is he?

John and Peggy are still watching

the wrestling. The sluggish pace of life is proving a challenge.

I'm 16 years younger than Peggy.

She feels like my grandma.

It's the difference between the life of somebody who has had to keep

very, very active

and the life of somebody who has been sedentary for some time, I think.

So, the lesson I draw from that - keep on running.

Would you like to give it a go?

-I don't mind at all.

-There we are.

Now, don't shout at me, Malcolm, if I do something wrong, please!

In Dartford, Lesley is discovering just how much work is involved

in caring for someone.

There's never...

never time for me, because everything takes so long.

-I say to him, I don't want to be a carer.

-Do you say it? You say to Malcolm?

-Yes, I do say it to Malcolm.

-Does that upset him?

Did you tell her?

You could scream in the end. And I have actually gone

-in the back garden and screamed.

-Mmm.

-Cos you get so frustrated.

I mean, you must feel equally... as frustrated?

Yeah.

-But we try not to let anyone know how we're feeling.

-Yeah.

-Here's Malcolm.

-Oh, my goodness.

Malcolm and Pat met 40 years ago,

when Malcolm was a keen athlete.

-You did a mile in four minutes?!

-Yes.

-That's fast!

-I see those photos and I can't believe

that the person in them photographs and the person lying in bed -

I would never have believed he'd have a stroke.

On we go. Let's have a good look at what we're going to get

-for our three quid.

-Food shopping on so little money

is a weekly ordeal for Ivy.

-But consumer champion Gloria has got a plan.

-In my head,

I thought I make a good spaghetti sauce, so I'll buy minced steak and

I'll buy the mushrooms and onions and all the things that I,

personally, put into a spaghetti sauce, and I'll be able to make her

spaghetti for tonight and then be able to spread that out.

-So my onions are...82p, which is quite a lot.

-Yes.

But the financial realities of Ivy's life are proving more difficult

than Gloria imagined.

This one is quite expensive. It's shocking, isn't it?

I couldn't do it, even using two days' money, I couldn't do it.

It was so expensive.

It was £5 for any kind of decent meat,

-so £5 would have been almost two days'...

-Yes.

Then the onions and mushrooms

and that would've been about £8. But I thought, I can't spend £8

-on just the meat.

-No.

-It's shocking.

It's estimated that 1 million pensioners are malnourished.

It's been a wake-up call for Gloria.

I don't know how you do it, actually. I don't.

I don't.

I came here hoping that maybe I might be able to make

some tweak for Ivy and in a way, I think she, in reverse,

she has shown me so much today.

In my naive, stupid state, I just thought that the State, somehow,

with grants and payouts and things would actually mean that people

would have at least enough to eat. The fundamental right to have

enough food in your belly and enough to drink.

But Gloria is not the only one getting used to a new reality.

It must be heaven to live her life, to be able to go out shopping

and get what you want and go and buy new clothes and you know,

I feel scruffy the side of her.

I feel dirty and scruffy.

You look at her with a nice hairdo and nice clothes on and...

dressed smart and looking nice

and look at me! You know...

I don't like it.

(Sorry.)

At the end of the first day, the four visiting pensioners

are beginning to think about the challenges they have ahead.

-Hooray!

-You've got it.

This is a sad life, because he's mourning so much.

I don't know, I think that if we manage to give him a glimmer

of what his life could be in the future, then that would be great.

Good night, my darling. God bless you.

Come and visit me if you can.

Well of course, I've only just scratched the surface so far

with Ivy. I've spent the day with her. I can't help but think

that with a little bit of encouragement from certain quarters,

that she could have a better life.

I'm finding it really quite gruelling, quite tiring.

It's quite heavy going. She seems to me to be quite lonely, actually.

I don't know whether she'd regard herself as being lonely,

but she is a woman who's on her own most of the time.

I was hoping I might be able to bring something to her,

but strangely I don't think I've been able to give her very much,

except one big thing, of course, which is my attention.

I'm sure that's done her quite a lot of good.

What I would love to do in these three days is give Pat some sense

of fun. I think Pat is the person now who needs a lot of support.

And...let's see what tonight and tomorrow brings.

DOOR CREAKS

Pat?

Pat!

Help!

OK.

What's up, Malcolm?

-Help!

-Yes, I'm just coming down.

Malcolm needs to go to the toilet several times during the night,

meaning that Pat hasn't had an unbroken night's sleep for years.

That's a lot to take on. Even for somebody you love,

that's a huge amount to take on.

But tonight, it's not just Pat who's pitching in.

It's me, it's Lesley.

To get up two or three times a night every night,

that's like having a young baby and having to get up and feed it.

That is mentally and physically exhausting.

It's a hard thing to do, what she's doing.

Really, really, really tough.

Pat!

PAT!

(Pat!)

Good morning, sir. Lovely morning.

Look, he's still in bed!

-It's disgraceful!

-TONY CHUCKLES

-Do you want a cup of tea?

-Good idea.

-Crunchy Nut? Can I have some Crunchy Nut?

-You can have whatever

you like. I've got some All Bran if you want any of that.

No! Don't need All Bran nowadays - I've given that sort of thing up.

HE COUGHS

Are you all right?

DOORBELL RINGS

-Hello, my darling.

-Mwah!

It's 9.00am in Gravesend

and Philip and Tony have got visitors.

-Hello, Stuart.

-How are you doing?

-Yeah, not too bad at all, now.

-Good.

Philip recently broke his wrist in a fall

and relies on his grandson Stuart to do his weekly shopping.

Is this my songs?

But as well as the shopping, he also has a surprise.

# Love walked right in and brought... #

Stuart has brought along an old CD recording of Philip singing.

# One look

# And I have found my world completely new. #

# With you. #

-That's it.

-That's brilliant.

-Very good.

See you in a bit, Grandad.

Stuart has been unable to persuade his grandad

to start performing again since his wife died.

It was really bad for a while.

Whenever we came round, he'd open the door in tears

and no matter how much you'd give him a cuddle or tell him he's doing

really well and that he's bound to have low periods, um...

He'd still be upset. You could see him just staring off into the distance when you're talking to him.

-Obviously still thinking about Nan.

-Talking to Stuart

has given Tony an idea about how to help Philip move forward.

You know, every 20 minutes or so,

that I've been talking to him, something has come up

about his singing and "Oh, the group packed up

"and now I've lost a bit of interest, because my wife's died",

and you know that he actually does want to sing again. I think it'd be fun to set that up for him.

After a difficult night, Lesley wants to find out how Malcolm feels

about his long-suffering wife.

Are you ever aware of what Pat sacrifices of her own life

to look after you, and does that worry you?

-I spend nights crying over it.

-Do you? Do you worry about her leaving you?

Yes, I do. Cos she's my whole life. Anything happens to her,

I might as well give up.

Pat and Malcolm have been together since 1972.

But years acting as Malcolm's carer has changed their relationship.

You're doing their wee, you're doing personal things.

Does love then become

more like you're caring - don't get this wrong, not a child,

but someone who needs you more than you need them?

-Do you feel guilty ever, Malcolm, that Pat's having to look after you to this extent?

-Yes.

-Because she loves you.

-That's right.

18 months ago,

the pressure of looking after Malcolm became too much for Pat

and she suffered a breakdown.

To be honest, it would be easier for me if he was in a care home.

I'd have my life back, but would it be fair to him?

No. He'd be unhappy.

He would make me feel a traitor every time I visited him.

To stop that feeling, I'd visit him less and less and less...

And then what would I have left?

Guilt.

-So how much do you get in total?

-In total? £120.

In Darwin, Gloria has spent the morning trying to find a solution to Ivy's financial crisis.

-So your rent allowance is what?

-316, I think it is.

-316, OK. And your rent per month is?

-390.

Each month, Ivy has to top up her housing benefit with £74

-from her pension, but Gloria has got an idea.

-Now, if we can somehow

or other put her on the right track to try and get a cheaper house

to rent, it means that £74 to her or anybody or me,

just on a £3.24-a-day allowance...

Suddenly I can see what I could do with £74 a month extra.

Ivy's got five kids, but they have no idea just how bad things have got

for their mum.

When my grandchildren and my children are round, I have to, like,

put a happy face on.

I try not to let my children or my grandchildren see me down.

-Do you ever get the joy out of life?

-No.

My life, now...is...awful.

Really awful.

Sometimes I get really down

and I just want to die.

No. I just don't want to be here.

After almost two days cooped up with Peggy, John has got itchy feet

-and he's on the trail of a story.

-I'd like to know a bit more

about Peggy's self-isolation.

Of course she's got physical disabilities,

which make it difficult to go thrashing round the village,

but that isn't the only reason.

John wants to know what the other people in the village think.

I think she has herself to blame. You don't talk to people, they don't talk to you.

She's not some kind of pariah to speak to,

it's just that she's a cantankerous old lady.

-Stubborn, I think is the...

-But it does come with old age.

-It does, yes.

-That's how we are.

-And loneliness.

-And loneliness.

I think she's very lonely. And I think she's always been

considered a bit of an oddity. People view her with suspicion.

You know, it's a two-way thing. She's not been welcomed by the village, but equally,

she's not played her part in doing it.

Back at the house, John wants to find out what Peggy thinks.

You seem to lead quite a lonely life. Do you feel it's lonely?

If anybody asks me anything and I don't like, I tell them

-to mind their business.

-Yes. You haven't said that to me.

You haven't asked me anything I don't want you to!

The fact is, if you don't like people, then people tend

not to like you, and I think that's what's happened with her.

She's a square peg in a round hole and there's going to be

lots of people that are irritated with her and don't like her.

I don't see that she gives a stuff.

Tomato's not too hot? Good.

In Dartford, Lesley has taken over the cooking duties.

Do you know what? I could get used to this life! I really could.

The last time Pat had a break was when Malcolm went into respite care.

-But he's always refused to go back.

-Malcolm doesn't like

-going to respite.

-And yet you didn't mind it last time you went in?

You get to know them and you know that you're safe there and looked after.

-I don't want to go in at all.

-You don't want to go in at all?

He thinks if I put him in respite, I'm going to leave him there and go.

And it's his biggest fear.

He's got to realise that I need two weeks for me.

If he don't, I don't know where we'll end up.

Lesley's decided she needs to convince Malcolm to change his mind about respite care.

Pat would benefit so much from having those few days off

that it would give her renewed energy, make her feel like she's still got a life.

Then they can have that life together.

But every few weeks, it would feel maybe that she got a little more of her independence.

See you in the morning.

OK?

JAZZ MUSIC

Like more than half a million pensioners across Britain,

Philip ventures out no more than once a week.

Oh, dear.

-Bloody worn out before I start, this morning!

-When he's up to it,

he attends a local day centre. Today, Tony is going with him.

-Who do I remind you of?

-Time Team.

-Oh, yeah?

-You're the living picture of him, ain't you?

-No getting away from it.

-It's me!

-It IS you?

-Yeah.

-Ah!

The Age UK day centre in Gravesend provides lunch and entertainment

-for local pensioners.

-Thank you.

-Philip used to sing at the centre,

but senior care worker Donna has been unable to get him to perform since Mairi's death.

-Was he in a bit of a state?

-He was quite shy, weren't you?

-You didn't want to come, did you?

-I didn't want to come, no.

-You find it hard.

-I've just gone into a shell and stayed there.

-One, two, one, two.

-But after waiting for the other pensioners to leave,

Philip agrees to try singing again - even if it's just to Donna and Tony.

Give us a song, now.

# Love is a many splendored thing

# It's the April rose

# That only grows in the early spring

# Two lovers kissed and the... #

Was that song...special to you, or...?

Yeah. Shouldn't have sung it.

Really emotional. He's got a beautiful voice.

It's really lovely to hear him singing. I can't believe it.

I'm really pleased that you sang to me, Phil.

-Thank you.

-I wanted to, but...

-I've done it now.

-You have. And you know what that means,

-don't you?

-Hm?

-You know what that means?

-Yeah. I'm getting better.

Although he was unable to finish the song, Tony is more convinced

than ever that getting Philip to sing in public will help

to continue his recovery.

He sang today. In a microphone,

which he's been avoiding for ages and ages. I'm hoping that by the end of day four,

we'll have found some way to get Phil to perform.

In Dartford, Lesley has decided to broach a subject that up until now,

Malcolm has been unwilling to discuss.

Although the rational thing would be for the man to say,

"I'm going to give you a rest every four weeks for five days.

"I'm going to go into respite", irrationally, he probably really is scared to death...

that he WOULD be left there.

When you went into respite,

-How long did you go in for?

-The first one, for four days.

-The second one, a week.

-So tell me...

But before that, the first one, I couldn't stick it.

Why couldn't you?

-I just couldn't.

-You really didn't enjoy any of it at all?

-No.

I thought she was dumping me in there.

But I think that's a lifeline for her, isn't it? Because...

I realise it is, now. But I didn't...

You didn't at the time?

Cos you don't honestly think she would leave you, do you?

-Not now.

-Not really, not now.

-Not now.

-You know she wouldn't.

-I know.

Would you ever go back, do you think, just to give Pat a break?

Would you ever say, OK, I know it's not my favourite place

-in the world...

-I said I would.

-Would you?

-And if I said I would, I will do.

'Malcolm has now promised he will go into respite.'

That's a huge progression.

Despite living 15 miles away in Preston, Ivy's daughter Venus

and 13-year-old granddaughter Jessica regularly make the 90-minute bus ride

to call round with emergency supplies.

Teabags. Weetabix.

Some soup...

-A Fray Bentos.

-Isn't she a good girl?

What would you like to see us do to help Ivy's life?

I'd like to see my mum in a nice little flat near me.

That's what I'd like.

So, downsize from this house?

Downsize from this house and see my mum in a nice flat near me.

Where she's closer to me and I can look after her.

But besides the house, there's something Gloria feels Venus needs to know.

I obviously have asked your mum how bad it gets,

and how she feels now that she's having to manage on her own

and...she says it gets so bad

-that sometimes she simply doesn't want to live. It's that bad.

-I know that.

I know that, but... My mum has never told me, but I know that.

I do. It is hard. It is hard, and it's a shame to want to feel that way.

It's just horrible to know that the person I love so much

has to feel like that every day. Every day of the week.

It's wrong. Nobody should have to go through it.

But that's the good friendship we've got, because you know

-you can come to me, Mum. No matter what.

-I know.

There's just some things I don't want you to know.

-But I'm your daughter.

-I know.

-Because I love you.

Yeah, but you have your problems. You have problems yourself.

I've got problems, but I love you, it doesn't matter about my problems, does it?

Jess, Jess.

To have your child say to you straight into your eyes,

holding your hands, "I love you, Mum, you're my mum, I would do anything for you."

-I just think that's really impacting.

-Come on, Mum.

Come on.

Seeing Ivy and Venus together has reminded Gloria of her own daughter, Caron,

who died nearly 10 years ago, at the age of 41.

I've had obviously to go through a lot of emotion in my own life.

And when I...

Sorry, I can't say it.

(I can't say it.)

It's just because I think of my own daughter.

That's why I can't do it.

OK, so if you go and sit in the front there, Peggy...

In Suffolk, John has finally persuaded Peggy to join him on a trip out.

That's the school I went to, look.

But Peggy's not interested in meeting up with old acquaintances.

Well, not the living ones, anyway...

I reckon I should get out and push you!

SHE LAUGHS

Peggy is going to be buried in the local graveyard,

in the same plot as her dad, Walter.

I've got trembly, sat here now.

You might think that's peculiar.

But in my life...

I've never had anybody make a fuss or love me.

There's no love in my family.

My dad was the only one who loved me and I think that's the truth.

Can't ever remember my mother cuddling me or anything.

-Really?

-Yep.

While Peggy was close to her dad, as a young girl growing up

in the 1930s, she had a troubled relationship with her mum,

Edith Mary.

You can't alter these things. I mean, I couldn't alter...

I couldn't make my mother take more notice of me then she did the boys,

that's how she was and that's how I grew up - that was my life.

I used to get thrashed with a dog's lead and on the end

-was a leather bootlace with knots in.

-It can't have been easy to forgive that?

-You don't forget.

-But did you forgive it?

-But that was part of my life, so there ain't

nothing to forgive, really. You don't forget.

# It's you, it's you

# It's all for you

# Everything I do

# I tell you all the time

# Heaven is a place on earth with you

# Tell me all the things you want to do... #

I think that's the key to her character in many ways -

that spikiness. That's pretty characteristic of someone

that didn't get enough love when they were a kid.

She doesn't find it easy to be soft and gentle, clearly,

because no-one was soft and gentle with her. Mother clearly wasn't.

Lesley thinks Pat desperately needs a night off caring for Malcolm.

-Bye, Barbara. See you later. Have a good evening.

-She's persuaded

a couple of neighbours to look after him, so they can hit the town.

Yellow, 13.

Red, 18.

Yellow, 33.

-'On yellow 33...'

-Oh, no!

-That's two pounds wasted!

-But what fun!

Red, 17.

Blue, 52.

Blue, 59.

So how much did I win?

-£4 on that one.

-We've spent 20!

Doesn't matter! I'm enjoying it!

Pat's never had time to go to the local bingo hall before,

but she knows exactly what she'd do if she hits the jackpot.

'I've always wanted to go on a cruise.'

And I'd like to, when he was in respite, knowing he was safe,

then I could have a week's cruise, come back...

and it's something I've always wanted.

-Yellow, 14.

-Yes!

No!

No! You've won 1,000 quid!

That's 1,136.

Ah!

I can go on my cruise!

You've won 1,000 quid!

Four days ago, I was so miserable. And look at me! I've won some money,

I'm going on a cruise.

Look at this face!

It's the group's last day with their OAP hosts.

After picking up the microphone yesterday,

Philip has agreed to join up with a local singing group.

Well, I feel better in myself. I feel stronger in myself

than what I used to be.

That's all I wanted really, was a push.

# Putting on the top hat

# Tying up a white tie

# Brushing off my tails! #

It'll be lovely to see how he is when he is surrounded by

a whole group of other singers.

-That's it. Do I look all right?

-You look fantastic.

I just hope he doesn't lose his bottle.

I'm looking swell!

-Ah..

-Ooh!

Are you all right, matey?

Are you all right? Ups you go...

Waaaay...

-OK... I'm all right now.

-Not just being a brave soldier?

-Eh? Yes.

-Not just being a brave soldier? You really are all right?

-Just glad I dropped on that finger and not my thumb.

-So am I.

That's a bit worrying. He was having such a great time.

And he just went...

I didn't think he landed too hard, I'm just a bit worried that he's...

That he's shaken up.

It's that little tot of whiskey I had.

We've got plenty of time. We'll just let him sit for a bit.

I don't want him... I don't want him rushing to do anything.

You know, I don't like your wheelchair.

John has decided it's too late in the day

to change Peggy, so he's given up trying.

I thought at the start that maybe we should get her out more, take her round the village.

I am not certain about that now.

I don't think that coming in, changing somebody's life

and going away with a warm sense of achievement

is really quite the thing.

She is her own person, she lives her life as she chooses

and she's been kind enough to let us into her life to see it.

John and Peggy are going to visit his old family home in nearby Dunwich,

a place Peggy also knows well, having grown up in the area.

I can't believe I'm back here. My room used to be up there.

I think you're tremendously game to do this, actually, Penny,

-I think it's marvellous.

-I didn't get much choice, did I?

-My father fell in love with it instantly.

-Yeah.

Absolutely instantly

and we lived here, on and off,

-for ten years, something like that.

-Did you?

-Yes.

John was raised as an only child by his father, Roy,

following his parents' divorce in 1950.

I learned, actually, when I was at school

to invent a mother that was at home,

because I wanted people to think I HAD a mother,

so that nobody thought that there was something weird about me.

So, this is where I... this is where I grew up.

You know, it's got so many memories.

John's dad died at the age of 65.

Now, two years older than that himself,

John's worried how his death will affect his six-year-old son Rafe.

I mean, God! When he's 16, I shall be 77.

Then the moment comes for him to say,

"I want to go and play rugby this weekend", and I'll say,

"But we had it planned...".

When I did this thing,

I thought, "One thing I'm not going to do is bloody choke up!"

I'm sorry.

Gloria wants to help Ivy move to a cheaper flat.

So, she's taken her to Preston to view some sheltered accommodation.

If we can find or help Ivy find a house

to move from this privately-rented house,

it just solves so many issues, financially and socially.

Oh! Look at this!

She wouldn't have that top-up rent to pay.

She would have food in her belly to eat.

She would be near her daughter and her granddaughter.

So, it could be absolutely joy

and magic for Ivy if we pull this off.

So, we've got the key of the door.

This one-bedroom flat is part of a housing agency for older people

and offers tenants support in managing their finances.

-This is the bedroom, which is quite big.

-Yeah.

-You've got double glazed windows.

-Yeah.

-Which is good.

And what I must tell you as well is that this is affordable.

-Yeah.

-So, this, again, you wouldn't have to top up any rent.

So, it's well within your budget.

Here we are. Quite a decent-sized sitting room.

A very good aspect, looking out, isn't it?

-So, what do you think?

-I like it.

-Do you?

-I do.

-Do you get a good feeling?

-Yeah.

I've got Ivy with me and she's in the apartment here and loves it.

What I wanted to find out from you is actually price and availability.

-Believe it or not, I'm going to tell you what Robin said, right?

-Yeah.

-If you like it...

-Yeah.

-It's available

and you can have it as of today!

Oh!

Hello?

Hello.

I can't say anything!

-I can have it today?

-That's amazing.

To see someone like Ivy,

who's talked on this programme about wanting to kill herself,

that she's got nothing to live for,

now, all of a sudden, she's got EVERYTHING to live for.

After taking a break,

Philip's decided he's feeling well enough to join the local singing group,

who are performing at a nearby care home.

I think he tripped over my slipper,

so it was probably my fault.

He went BOOF! He went down like George Foreman.

But, then he was up again within five minutes and I kept going,

"Are you all right?". For the next hour, that was all I said, I think.

But he was absolutely fine.

CHOIR SINGS

Philip hasn't sung in public

since his wife, Mairi, died. And Tony has invited his grandson,

Stuart, and his family along for moral support.

CHOIR SINGS

APPLAUSE

And now, ladies and gentlemen, Philip will sing unaccompanied,

without the aid of a safety net, Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing.

I hope I'll get through it all right, I haven't sung for a long time.

No, you were brilliant.

# Love

# Is a many-splendored thing

# It's the April rose

# That only grows in the early spring

# Yes, it's true

# Love's a many-splendored

# Thing. #

APPLAUSE

Thank you.

It's so good to see him singing. Makes me proud of him.

I'm really proud.

-BABY: Ah!

-Your dad!

If more people had the time to pay attention to elderly people,

particularly in this case, grieving elderly people,

maybe there would be a real shift in the lives of elderly people.

-Aaah. No, it's lovely to see you.

-That was brilliant. Well done.

-I'm really proud of you.

-Really good.

-Yes, it was lovely.

I think a hell of a lot of Mairi, but it's been my main problem.

That's what I've got to do - I mustn't keep hanging on...

I've got to try and...

let myself go and forget things a bit.

Malcolm and I had a talk and, um...

Yes, we sort of did a deal,

really, which he'd sort of talked about before. You could go off

-on a cruise and he would go into respite.

-Right.

-Did you?

-Yes.

-Do you mean it?

-You're worth it.

-And do you still feel today that's all right?

-Yes.

-What made you change, Malcolm?

-If I told Lesley I would, I would.

-He can't go back on it now, can he?

-No.

I get worried in case she leaves me, but I know now she wouldn't.

So that will be the biggest present in the world, in a way,

-to give her a week...away.

-Yes.

I love her so much.

I've got nothing to offer... to offer her...

I'm really useless.

Oh, Malcolm. You know she adores you.

-You KNOW that.

-I know, yes.

She's so lovely.

Look at me...

I can't even put a bulb in.

Because Lesley's been here, she's been doing the cooking,

the washing up... I've had time to see him as a person

and not just as...

I'm going to say the wrong word - a burden.

I didn't realise how little I showed you affection, really.

I think because I thought you were disabled...it didn't matter.

'I'm not invincible.'

I'm just someone who got very tired...

Someone who could see people going out, and I was stuck in there.

That's all I could see. I couldn't see...

..me as a person any more.

I didn't have a name.

I was Malcolm's carer.

And I am sorry.

-That's all right, love.

-I just didn't realise.

-You know you don't

-have to say sorry, really.

-Yeah, but I didn't realise.

-Well, you can look forward to your holiday now.

-Yeah.

You're going to keep that promise?

Come on, you silly old fool.

Very romantic!

-MAN: Was it nice?

-Yes.

Makes me feel young again!

-OK, my dear. Well, thank you. Don't move.

-Finished now being told

-what to do and what not to do.

-OK, from now on,

no more telling you what to do!

It's time for the four visiting pensioners to go home

after their short stay.

'Peggy is who she is.

'She's a stubborn,

'cantankerous old girl'

who likes to have a bit of spark with other people.

Bye-bye.

He's a nice man.

Couldn't have had anybody nicer, really.

I think it's just been a kind of wake-up call in some ways,

that old age is pretty much round the next corner for me.

I'm not going to be getting on a plane every five days.

It's not going to be like that. It's going to be different.

Do you know something? I arrived here, not knowing what I was

coming into, but you know, I've really, really loved meeting you.

I'm really going to miss you.

-Bye, Ivy.

-Bye.

-Bye-bye, God bless.

'I do think,

'that since we arrived four days ago,

'we've managed to change Ivy's perspective on some things.'

So I think that we've both learned things

about ourselves and each other.

Cheers, Tony.

It's been great having you with us and I'm very pleased to see you.

-It was a laugh, wasn't it?

-It has been great, really.

I wish you wasn't going, tell you the truth.

-Cheers, mate.

-Ta-da.

-Doesn't seem like four days, does it?

-No, it doesn't.

-Soon gone.

-Bye.

-Ta-da.

'I was a bit dubious when we started, but I must say, it's helped me

'a great deal.'

Ta-da, mate.

It's been great. I really enjoyed it.

I'm going to miss you all!

'I felt cynical about the whole process, but I can't deny'

the fact that in the short term at least, for whatever reason,

we have made a significant change in someone's life.

LESLEY: I wish you well.

Thank you, darling.

-I hope you enjoy respite.

-I will.

I hope you have a wonderful holiday

and I really thank you for your hospitality.

Thank you.

All right, my darling. So, er... Will you show me which way to go?

Thank you.

If I were to say what have I learned out of these four days,

I would say I've learned how lucky I am.

Thank you. It's been a blast.

I suppose it seems such a cliche to say live every day

as if it's your last and appreciate what you've got every day, but I suppose that,

if anything, this shows you, yeah, that's true.

-Glad it happened?

-Yes.

-So am I.

-Good.

-I had a wonderful time.

-So did I. Really lovely.

Yeah?

Give us a kiss.

MUSIC: "Love Is A Many-Splendored Thing"

SHE GIGGLES

-Next time...

-I'll be stuck in here for the whole day.

The four famous pensioners encounter a world even more challenging.

-Why do they keep me alive?

-'Well, shocked.'

They enter a world nobody wants to end up in.

Do you?

-They're going to become care home residents.

-It's like somebody

holding up a mirror and saying, "this is what you'll be like".

I've found this very difficult.

It's my biggest dread in my whole life.

It's never going to be all plain sailing.

# Stars shining bright above you

# Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"

# Birds singing in the sycamore tree

# Dream a little dream of me. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd