The Nearlyweds

This programme contains some strong language.

'Serena and Tony and Rachel and Sam have never met, but they have one thing in common.'

Marriage is the most solemn thing you can do.

-'They're planning to tie the knot.'

-I want to spend my life with him.

'But there's a problem.

'In the UK, if you get married before you're 30,

'you're far more likely to end up divorced than any other age group.'

People think when they get married, it goes downhill, but why?

'For Britain's 20-somethings, marriage has never been so risky.'

I'm making this vow to spend the rest of my life with you, which I do think means something.

'If these couples want to ensure they go the distance, who can they turn to?'

I don't think anybody can convince me it's not the right thing to do.

'Each other!'

Hello. I'm Tony.

'In a ground-breaking experiment, they'll spend seven days in each other's lives...'

What I'm nervous about is if they said, "Sam's not the right person for you."

'..on a fact-finding mission where strangers attempt to identify

'potential problems in each other's relationships.'

We'll make them feel like they're being interrogated.

'Model Serena and boxer Tony met five years ago.'

-We never have one serious argument.

-Over the stupidest...

-Let me speak!

'Will constant bickering destroy their chances of a happy marriage?'

-We start arguing and she throws a strop.

-You start screaming and I throw a strop!

'Admin clerk Rachel and factory worker Sam

'got engaged exactly three years after they met.'

I used to work for a company who fitted tow bars.

Rachel worked for a company who sold tow bars.

'Will their future marriage survive without excitement and romance?'

I've had flowers three times in six and a half years?

'To answer all of these questions and more,

'they'll spend time in each other's homes, quiz each other's families...'

He was two and a half when his dad walked out.

'..discover what their wedding plans might say about them as a couple.'

That's not me. That's him.

'Test if their plans for family life are realistic.'

She's terrified, to be honest!

'And who will stay faithful on their hen do...'

-Not for me!

-'..and stag night?'

-He's under the thumb.

-A load of shit.

'After an intense week, they'll deliver a verdict on each other's impending marriages.'

It's going to destroy the relationship.

-'A brutally honest assessment...'

-You need to grow a set.

'..they'll never hear from family and friends...'

If Tony was like that, I would be gone!

'..that could decide whether these couples go from being nearlyweds...'

-I guarantee you won't regret it.

-'..to reallyweds.'

One thing I hate doing is packing. It annoys me.

This is how I pack. Done.

'Nearlyweds Tony and Serena

'are leaving their home in Liverpool and heading to Wigan

'to meet Rachel and Sam for the first time.'

-Getting a bit nervous. Are you, Sam?

-A little bit.

'For seven days, they'll be taking a fresh look at each other's relationships.'

I want to get there and meet them.

'Almost half of all people who marry in their 20s end up divorced.'

I hate waiting.

'These young couples are hoping that this week might save their marriage before they've said "I do".'

It'll be good to get someone's point of view.

-If there's anything that...

-Needs to be worked on.

-Yeah.

We want to go into our marriage with open eyes.

"OK, that is a bit of a weak spot, but we can work on it."

Hopefully, come out of it at the end an even better relationship.

'At the end of their week together,

'both couples record a no-holds barred verdict

'on their fellow nearlyweds.'

Wigan Pier! I used to go raving in here!

'Right down to whether they should get married at all.'

I'm willing to be outspoken and give them my advice.

I hope they don't sit there and say nothing. I just hope they don't try and upset me!

This was an engagement present off Rachel's mum and dad.

Royal Doulton wine glasses.

Yeah. Get them out. It's a special occasion.

-Listen to that.

-GLASS RINGS

'Sam and Rachel have been together for six years.

'Their friends and family have never told them they were anything other than the perfect couple.'

Just feel really, really comfortable with each other.

-A little bit too comfortable, sometimes.

-Yeah!

-Get a bit lazy!

Goes with napkins as well! Colour coordination!

'The moment Sam met Rachel, he believed she was the sort of woman

'he could spend the rest of his life with.'

The main women who I don't like more than anything

are the WAG type women who are just obsessed by money.

"Unless he looks like Cristiano Ronaldo I won't talk to him."

My God! Where are we?

'Serena and Tony will be in Wigan for the first half of the week,

'before the tables are turned, and Rachel and Sam stay with them.'

I like the garden.

-Hello.

-Hello, I'm Tony.

-I'm Rachel.

-Hiya. I'm Serena.

-It's lovely in here!

-How long you lived here?

< Nearly five years. Quite a while then. Sound.

Nice area. >

SERENA LAUGHS

So...

Tell me a bit about yourselves.

For a living, I do powder coating.

-Painting gates, railings, motor bike frames.

-Yeah. I get you.

What do you do, Rachel? > I work in administration.

-Where are you getting married?

-In the hotel where I stayed when we first met.

-Why did you decide to do it?

-When we first got together, I said to Rachel

that if we're together for three years, I'll ask you to marry me...

Wait there! It wasn't the fact that you were in love.

You said, "Three years, I'm gonna marry you!"

No, we both said that three years living with someone

is a good time to think you do actually know this person.

Who's sorted the wedding out?

-We've both sorted it, but Rachel's done more.

-You've been helpful.

-You helped me pick the bridesmaid dresses.

-Is that not a good thing?

-That somebody else is helping you to choose things?

-Definitely.

-On your own, would you find that extremely stressful?

-Yes.

Things aren't going as planned for me right now!

'But what are the wedding plans that Sam has supposedly helped with?'

-Is your accent a Wigan accent?

-Proper Wigan accent, yeah.

'They're planning to tie the knot where they had their first date.

'They've set up the venue so that Tony and Serena can get an accurate glimpse of the big day.'

Our wedding day, every bit has got a part of us.

'Something personal to us.

'We've got near enough all the things that we wanted.'

Bar a horse and carriage, what you wanted.

-You don't have to spend a fortune to have a good day.

-No.

Ah! It looks lovely!

Look at the red carpet! Where are you gonna come from? Here?

This pulls away.

Then we do the vows and there's another reading.

-Then the final bit.

-You can do your own vows.

I thought it would be really nice

but Sam's not having any of it.

You like the traditional vows, is what you're saying.

You should be doing it, making the effort. "If that's going to make you happy, it's your big day."

'The guy needs to sit in a room by himself and write some vows.'

I wouldn't even question it. "If that's what would make this special, I'll do it."

'It's not just Sam's lack of personal vows that's worrying Tony.'

For me, this is like going round to the local pub.

What do you think the dress is going to be like?

I reckon it's going to be white...

'Despite saying she's happy to get married in a hotel,

'Rachel's first choice would have been something more traditional.'

It was the plan to get married in church. We discussed it when we got together.

When we came down to organising it, we had issues with the date.

It would be hard to get a venue, trying to organise the two together.

I want everything done yesterday

and I would not have been able to wait, have it hanging over me.

Wow! That is gorgeous!

Oh, my God! You look amazing!

-I love the gloves.

-I wasn't sure about the gloves.

-It's dead classy.

How do you think Sam's feeling, knowing your dress is ready?

-He's saying he's not nervous, but I think he is.

-Yeah?

-You were saying about writing your own wedding vows. Do you think he will do that?

-No.

-'I do feel that Sam probably won't make me feel as special on the day as...

-As you'd like to.

-Yeah.'

I'd love him to have a really nice speech. That would do me.

-Just that speech.

-Just that speech. OK.

I'm getting wound up now!

Don't get wound up! Like you just said, that's the way he is.

It's just something you want to change about him, isn't it?

-It's only a minute little thing, nothing massive.

-Something silly.

It's something that makes YOU feel good about YOU.

-CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS

-I'll have a tiny bit, please.

'Although they've only just met...'

TONY: Cheers, ears! RACHEL: A toast to us.

Finding out everything about each other!

'..Serena and Tony are starting to draw conclusions about Rachel and Sam's marriage prospects.'

The lack of romance, if it's left unattended to,

could get out of control and really turn a little bit nasty and...

-You know...

-Dead.

Day one, we can chalk down to a success.

I think we can chalk it to a success. We've met two sane people. We've got similarities.

If he's being like that now and she's noticed it,

because she's brought it up, who's to say it's not going to get worse?

-What do you think they thought about us?

-I think they thought we're a good couple.

We know each other inside out.

With girls, they feel like that the do still need reminding

and they do still need little...nice things.

-Very sexist that!

-Something like...

-Very sexist.

Coming in with flowers every now and then. It's nice.

-Sleep?

-Sleep.

-See you in the morning. Love you.

-Love you, too.

'Today, the investigation into Sam and Rachel's relationship

'is going to go deeper.'

If you're not in a relationship that's a happy relationship,

what the fuck? Your life's shit, basically.

To see her get really upset when she had her wedding dress on.

'Tony and Serena have arranged to meet their family.'

I'm here for the interrogation!

'They want to know if anyone has doubts about Sam and Rachel's plans for life together,

'but haven't found a way of telling them.'

What were your first impressions of Sam?

'Rachel's mum Anne met Sam almost as soon as they started seeing each other.'

He walked in the door, gave me a hug and said, "I'm Sam. You're Rachel's mum."

And that was it. I thought, "Yeah. He is the one."

'Sam grew up in a single parent family.

'His Aunt Tracy played a huge part in his upbringing.'

They got engaged in our house on Christmas Day.

He got down on one knee in front of us all and proposed to her.

He's got this problem with romance.

He can do that in front of everybody, why can't he do a bit more?

Rachel was saying, "I want it to be dead traditional." Then took us to the Bellingham.

That's not traditional. Why are they rushing it instead of waiting?

-Is there something going on?

-She said she wanted to be married before she were 30.

-There it is!

Rachel was born in a hurry.

She always wanted to do things before anybody else.

She was trying her dress on and got dead upset.

Serena questioned her about it and it's down to Sam not being romantic.

It could be something that's happened in his past.

He was only two and a half when his dad walked out.

My dad was like a father figure to him.

I think that's where it's come from. My dad wasn't a romantic person!

-Now with you saying that, it's obvious he's learned from your dad.

-Definitely.

What's your thoughts on grandchildren?

What do you reckon Rachel would do if Sam said, "I want a kid"?

-Would she have one?

-I think so.

Do you think Sam's ready to be a dad, grown-up enough?

I think maybe a few more years for Sam.

'It's helpful to meet members of the family

'because they tell you things Rachel and Sam wouldn't want you to know.'

You get to know the truth when other people tell you stuff about them.

-Let's show Manchester what we're made of!

-Oh, God!

'Now that they've met the family, it's time to grill the friends.'

-To Rachel, and all who sail in her!

-'If they can!'

CHEERING

'Tony and Serena's investigations will have to continue

'on the couple's stag and hen do's.'

The stag and hen do's reflect mine and Sam's personalities.

Considering it's classed as our last night of freedom,

we're going to have a few drinks, it's going to be a wild night.

Sam and Rachel like to party, but their friends aren't giving much away.

Everyone's bladdered.

CHEERING

He's a nice lad. I'm having a laugh with him.

-He's cool.

-Sam's not too bad.

-In about half an hour, we'll move on somewhere else.

-Ho-ho!

I give Serena till ten to ten. I guarantee you she'll ring me.

-Guarantee you!

-You're here with the boys.

'But the night is about to get even more revealing

'than any of the nearlyweds expected.

'She may not be having a traditional wedding,

'but Rachel's mates have ensured she has a very traditional hen night.'

'Not my scene at all, the stripper.'

Not for me. I'd find it disrespectful if Tony went to a strip club.

When you're with someone, what's the point doing stuff like that?

-Tony! Tony! Are we in?

-Not for me, lads.

-Look, even if I was single, I wouldn't go in there. I wouldn't.

-All you have to do is chill.

-You don't have to have a dance.

-I'm not going in there.

-Have a beer.

You're going in! I'm not going in there.

'The evening is beginning to say more about Tony and Serena's relationship...'

-You all right?

-It's cool.

-I'm ready to go. I'll meet you at the hotel.

'..than it is about Rachel and Sam's.'

'I wouldn't leave early on anybody's hen do.

'I'm not the sort of person that would just go home.'

I find that a bit disrespectful.

See ya later, lads. See ya later, mate.

Tony's gone home with Serena, but I don't think that Tony wants to go home.

I think I've learnt more about Tony and Serena than they have about us.

Serena gets her own way and Tony just goes along with it.

He's under the thumb. That's not a boxing scar, that's a thumbprint.

'It weren't my scene at all.'

At all, whatsoever.

'The way they are works for them.'

It wouldn't work for us, not one bit.

Strip clubs and strippers, just fucking seedy. Just not for us.

Louder! Louder! SAM BARKS

'It's Sam and Rachel's last day under the microscope.'

I'm feeling a bit rough from last night. I had a few.

'From tomorrow, the tables will be turned.'

-They're going to walk in and be like, "Hiya!"

-We're like, "Aargh!"

'They can begin gathering evidence on Tony and Serena's relationship

'for their final verdict at the end of the week.'

They've had a head start because they've got to spend time with us.

We are the way we are all the time.

We haven't been fake or nothing like that.

'But their fellow nearlyweds have one last area they want to explore.'

We've got a challenge planned. I don't know if they're gonna like it.

'When Serena talked to Rachel's mum yesterday, it was clear she wanted grandchildren.'

-I feel a bit sick.

-SERENA LAUGHS

-Is that nervous sick?

-I think so.

'What was also clear was her worry that Sam wasn't ready to be a dad.'

-When people ask us about kids, we're just like, "No, no, no."

-Yeah.

-I don't think we've ever sat down and actually spoke about it.

-No.

-It's something that we need to do.

'Tony and Serena have brought them to a nursery.'

The plan is you're going to be with the babies over lunch time.

We're going to get you in there...

I've never held a baby. Now's your chance. Never.

'While they get their first ever taste of childcare, Tony and Serena will see everything.'

Tiny little bit on the spoon.

Is it the right temperature? Yeah.

'Could Rachel and Sam become parents and remain married?'

OK? Don't look so scared!

-You're like that!

-She doesn't bite.

Just relax!

-We make it look easy!

-Oh, no. She's crying! >

She's crying!

'Sam's a lot better with the kids than Rachel.'

I think she's terrified of them!

-I told you, babies don't like me!

-Is this normal?

BABY CRIES

'The trouble with deciding to have kids...

'..is that they keep growing.'

-You all right there?

-No. No!

'And you have to find even more time away from your relationship

'to entertain them.'

'He's getting involved.'

She's just sitting there saying, "I can't."

-Get your hands done, Rach.

-What?

-Get your hand on there!

-Get your hand there.

-No.

He's telling her to do a hand print with the kids and she's saying, "What for?"

So it's fun for them. It's not about you.

We're off! Hello!

'Finally, it's nap time.'

If you sort of sit her in here.

'At long last, aged 29,

'Rachel is about to hold a baby

'for the very first time.'

She likes to be patted or stroked as well.

She does like to be sung to as well. >

Sam, jump in!

She likes Twinkle, Twinkle.

Shall I start? > Yeah.

# Twinkle, twinkle little star

ALL JOIN IN # How I wonder what you are... #

'I think me and Rachel would make really good parents.'

Singing a little baby to sleep like that gets you quite close.

It's made me start thinking about certain things being here today.

It's not just them nice moments. It's the whole thing.

Them moments are little moments.

There's a whole lot of other side to it. That was just the easy bit.

TONY: It's obvious Rachel's never going to be interested in kids.

As Sam gets older and more mature,

out of the two of them, he will want them.

She's 29 and if she doesn't want them now she's never going to.

A bleating sheep.

-Baaa! Baa!

-CHILDREN LAUGH

'They're halfway through the week

'and it's all change for the nearlyweds.'

It's been quite strange for two strangers to come into our home.

We've bared all to them. They know everything about us, the small details.

-You're excited about them coming to ours?

-Er, not really.

-Are you nervous?

-No.

-I know they're going to grill you.

-I'm not bothered. What do you mean?

-Why not you?

-I don't think I've got anything to be grilled.

Don't you now? We'll see!

'In the past three days, have Rachel and Sam done enough...'

I'd just love him to have a really nice speech. That would do me.

'..to convince Tony and Serena they're meant to be?'

If you're not in a happy relationship, what the fuck?

-'Will THEY be able to show THEM...'

-I'm sweating!

'..they've got what it takes to live happily ever after?'

Every single thing that I questioned she had an answer for.

'Whose final judgment will pull no punches?'

Serena, if you spit the dummy out, Tony, you just put it back in.

'And whose dreams for wedded bliss...'

You SEEM happy. You SEEM semi in love.

'..will be dealt a knock-out blow?'

Don't cry.

Here's the details where to come.

Looking forward to spending time with you in our town.

Thank you.

I'm really, really happy that we're going home.

It's been very stressful, very intense.

For me.

'Tony and Serena met five and a half years ago

'in a Liverpool tanning salon.'

I've seen her standing there and it was just like...

'Fortunately for Tony, the feeling was mutual.'

I love everything about him. He's funny, down-to-earth, easy-going. He's a nuisance!

I'm not the best looking lad in the world but I treat her like gold.

'They're planning a wedding that they say reflects how they feel about each other.'

-It is very expensive, but it's worth it...

-It's a one-off.

-In a fairy tale place!

-You only get one wedding - hopefully!

'But before they can start to assess whether the wedding should go ahead,

'Rachel and Sam have hit an early stumbling block.'

"You won't be coming to our house in Liverpool to start with.

"Meet us at Manchester Airport tomorrow

-"at 5am?"

-5am?

Should be in here waiting for us.

'If Rachel and Sam want to find out what Tony and Serena's wedding plans say about them as a couple,

'they've got to travel a bit further than the hotel up the road.'

'Knowing Tony and Serena, they're going to have an over-the-top'

-"look at me" style wedding.

-It's going to be "look at me"!

This is me mum. This is me dad.

'Serena's even had to bring along interpreters.'

Hiya. I'm Rachel.

'Her parents, Maury and Colette.'

-Serena, where are we going?

-We're actually going to be going to Rome.

I'm not going to tell you exactly where. That's a surprise!

-Never been to Italy.

-It's our first time. I'm looking forward to it.

'Three hours later in Rome,

'Rachel and Sam have asked to spend the rest of the journey

'to the wedding venue with Tony on his own.'

Tony, have you always planned to get married in Italy?

-Or was it like...?

-Well...

-Was it a joint decision or Serena's decision?

It was definitely a joint decision.

It was always an idea of mine from when I first got with her.

You know when you meet someone and it's serious, you really like them

-you get that...

-Different feeling.

-Totally different.

I'd have been happy to go to the registry office

and spend the money going round the world for 12 months.

You get one day to do it,

and that's what swayed me.

When you think about it, you've got one day, just do it.

You're making Serena's dream come true? I hope so.

I hope it's a story she can tell all her mates.

'Apart from her mum and dad, all of Serena's family live in Rome.'

It's stunning, isn't it?

'She's chosen a wedding venue a stone's throw from the Vatican.'

You can see all the monks

everywhere round here.

Is there a lot of religious places round here?

Well, it is...

Shut it! It's the most religious city in the world, Rome.

The Vatican City. In this particular place?

The Vatican is actually a city. It's its own independent state.

It's actually not Italian.

Vatican City! "Is there any religious places round here?"

-I didn't know we're in Vatican City.

-There's a couple of night clubs(!)

Best of British!

A lap-dancing club next to it(!)

-LAUGHS

-What sort of question was that?

-I was just asking.

-Oooh!

You're going to see a domestic in a minute!

-You all right?

-It's beautiful.

-Do you like it?

-Lovely.

-It's nice, isn't it?

-It's massive.

-It's making me go dizzy! Shall we go in?

-Let's have a look!

Let's go knock.

GASPS AND CHUCKLES

It's amazing! I forgot how nice it was!

It's going to take me half an hour to walk up this aisle!

It's your special day. You've got to milk it.

At least you've got a long aisle to pansy your dress off.

It's going to be really nice. I'm sweating!

-Look at the roof, Rach.

-I know.

Oh, my God!

It's going to have the red carpet over the chairs.

And all the flowers, all white roses we're having.

Look at the paintings behind the altar.

It's just amazing, the detail in churches over here.

This is the nicest church, though.

My initial reactions when we pulled up were,

-"That's massive!"

-It looked big.

-Then when we came in...

-Absolutely amazing!

-It is amazing. It's stunning.

-Out-done ours!

BOTH LAUGH

-We're happy with our little wedding.

-They've gone a million better.

-I'm still chuffed with what we're doing with all the sentimental...

-It's our day.

Obviously, I wanted to get married in a church, but that didn't happen.

After we do the ceremony, we walk out.

Everyone comes out and we've got two doves in bird cages.

-We hold them and set them off.

-You set them off?

-Yeah.

'This is Serena's dream.'

What she's had when she was younger, and Tony's happy to let Serena have her day.

He did turn round in the car, Tony, and say he'd be happy going to registry office.

You going to look at her when she comes to you or turn round?

I won't be able to hold me own piss water. I'll have to turn round!

I'm not good with being patient.

The vibe in Tony and Serena's wedding is it's Serena's wedding.

That's the vibe you get, and Tony's just along for the ride.

-Turn up on the day.

-Yeah. Turn up on the day!

TONY: Here's to our weddings.

< Our weddings!

So, Maury and Colette, you've been married for 27 years.

What advice would you give for a successful marriage?

-ALL SHRIEK

-Dad!

Did you really just say that? I'm going to die!

'There's just two days before the nearlyweds deliver their final verdict.'

I can't do the two bed thing. I hate it.

-That's better.

-Oh, yeah. That made a big difference(!)

Serena's been a lot more relaxed. We've probably seen the real Serena.

-Dreading going home!

-Yeah, when...

-This country's absolutely gorgeous!

-Fantastic...

-The atmosphere is dead romantic and hectic.

It's just great.

She basically said, "I've not got my worries at work and worries of life.

"I can just relax." Tony was like, "I'm a big part of your life."

I don't think Serena meant it like that.

'She's definitely a different person here.'

'The nearlyweds are on their way

'to the venue for Tony and Serena's wedding reception.'

The wedding invitations, I wanted a scroll, Roman looking.

'Are Rachel and Sam going to find evidence

'that decisions about the big day do involve Tony?'

-I reckon the girls are talking about shoes.

-Handbags.

-Hair.

'Or, as with the church, has Serena got her own way again?'

'Tony needs to see, you know,'

if he starts standing up to her, she might stop doing it as much.

A little kid, if you stand up to them... Not that I'm comparing her to a little kid.

RACHEL: I'm expecting somewhere as amazing as the church.

Definitely something big and fancy.

-It's lovely, isn't it?

-This is the gardens.

-This is me favourite part.

The Roman forums, little columns, the bench and stuff like that.

-The best part...

-After we do our meal,

we walk into our castle and set fireworks off.

You actually go up there?

-We'll be standing and...

-While they're setting the fireworks off.

-Do you want to have a little look?

-Yeah.

-Let's get the view.

This is what it's going to be like!

-I think the fireworks are a bit over the top, in fairness.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

It's like when you see the President out of the window of the balcony!

-Can you imagine us waving at people with fireworks going off?

-N-no!

We'd be down at the bar with everybody.

-'The church is stunning.

-Yeah.

-You loved the church.'

-Absolutely loved it.

-Yeah.

Yeah, that's more, that's the formal side, like.

But then when you come here, this is more like the Footballer's Wife's!

'In the time he's known Tony, Sam has seen him leave a stag do the moment Serena phoned him.'

They're all just going to be white roses in the middle.

'Now it seems she's made every call on the wedding.'

One of the things I wanted to talk to you about was Tony.

-He said that you spend 24/7 together.

-Yeah.

And I think he'd appreciate a little bit of time with his mates.

Every time something happens, like his mates going for a meal, he's training. That's not me.

Tony has been like that since before I met him.

I think he should do stuff with his mates.

He needs to understand you need to make that time with your mates.

You can't... But the pair of us live hectic lives.

Tony makes it sound like you want to be with him 24/7,

that you don't give him any space.

That's the message coming across.

Ask Tony. Every time something comes up, he's got an excuse.

'Everything that I pointed out'

and questioned, she had an answer for.

Tony's just accepted the fact that she's a model, she's good looking

and all that lot.

He just thinks to himself that he's lucky to have her and, basically,

he's going to accept anything.

'The nearlyweds have a plane to catch.

'Sam and Rachel's interrogation will continue 1,300 miles away...'

That cloud looks like a dog.

'..in Tony and Serena's home town of Liverpool.'

-Wow! I like your floor.

-This is our living room.

Obviously, as you can see! >

-I expected Serena's touch on things!

-I thought it would be modern.

When the house was getting done...

Tony's done what he's done with the wedding. "Whatever you want."

It's not. I've got no artistic design in me at all. >

-This is our back kitchen. It's pink!

-TONY: Nothing to do with me.

'As well as seeing where they live...'

-This is our bedroom.

-Very nice.

'..tonight, Sam and Rachel will find out what Tony and Serena's friends make of their relationship.

'It's their stag and hen do's.'

-Let's go.

-Are we off? See you later.

< Enjoy!

'Four days ago, they treated their fellow nearlyweds to stretch limos, heavy drinking and strippers!'

Rach, me and you are going to sit in with Steph, my Maid of Honour,

have a drink and a girlie chat about the wedding.

'Tonight is shaping up a little differently.'

Hello! You all right? Come in.

'Serena's planned a quiet night in and Tony's going out for a Chinese.'

Hello, boys. CHEERING

This is Rachel and that's Steph.

- Lime and soda. - Pint of lager.

Pint of Jack Daniel's please! Only joking!

It's white, then it's got diamonds and crystals all over the top of it.

I'm getting my shoes made as well. They're covered in crystals. They're gorgeous, aren't they?

'But the evening isn't proving that quiet for Tony.'

Why didn't you go in the strippers on his stag do?

I didn't want to! I told them before. What are you laughing at?

LAUGHTER

I just chose not to go in. >

-I just didn't want to go in.

-Serena wouldn't let him.

LAUGHTER

I didn't want to go in.

Why do you reckon he didn't come in the strip club?

I think he's scared in case he...

Right, is he under the thumb, yeah or no?

He is under the thumb but I think he wants to be there. >

That's your best mates saying that.

I'm not under the thumb. I love my bird and I love being with her.

-I'm happy with my relationship.

-Does that mean I don't love mine?

Tony, you did know you were going to get this? < I knew.

'And there's no peace for Tony back at the quiet night in.'

Some men let you get on with it. I don't think they're being lazy.

I think they just think, "She'll kick off."

"Why do I have to make all the decisions? Make a bloody decision. Don't leave it all to me."

Say you liked something and he said he didn't like it.

-Would you get it?

-Yeah. But I would like to know that he didn't like it.

-You'll listen to him.

-Exactly. Say, "You can't have it."

'Rachel wants to compare notes with Sam,

'so the hens are off to meet the stags at Tony's local.'

-I've had a really good night.

-I've had a good night.

'I had a good chat with Stephanie. Things we've said she's agreed with.

'You want to see what our lads have been saying about Tony.'

-Have they been saying the same?

-He's under the thumb.

He needs some more lads' time. Proper been ripping him to pieces.

'And the stags have only just begun.'

SCREAMING AND CHEERING

INAUDIBLE

RACHEL: That was absolutely hilarious.

It was hilarious for everybody else.

Serena wants to pressure-wash him down.

That was hilarious.

-That was Tony's biggest nightmare!

-Disgusting.

Give him a clap everybody!

CHEERING

I didn't find it funny at all, not one bit.

-It was hysterical!

-It was the worst thing someone could do to me.

'It's their final day together.

'Sam and Rachel are about to set the nearlyweds one last challenge.'

What do you guys think it is?

-I don't know.

-Ain't got a clue.

'Concerned over their one-sided wedding and frequent bickering,

'they want to discover if Tony and Serena can ever communicate and actually work together.'

-I don't think we're as bad as what they think.

-We are.

-OK. We are! I don't think we're...

-We are for communicating.

-It's just that she butts in a lot.

'They're sending a middleweight boxer and a model orienteering.'

-How am I gonna get up?

-I'll pick you up.

-See the way he just leaves me?

-Give me your hand.

-Don't pull me.

Climb up the wall. SHE SCREAMS

'They've got half an hour to locate Sam and Rachel at three different checkpoints in a forest.'

I'm pissing myself!

'All they have to guide them is a map.'

-This is where we was.

-Where do we have to go?

-There.

'And a compass.'

-The compass that they said follow is pointing that way.

-Go that way!

'They've both got to stay calm and think.'

They've got to talk to each other or it's going to go horribly wrong.

It's on here.

It's there somewhere.

-Tony!

-What?

-How thick are we?

-I reckon they're bonding at the minute.

-Having a nice cuddle!

-It's not going to be this side of the wall.

-Why?

-Let's have a look.

'Just ten minutes in...'

-We've walked the wrong way.

-It's not.

'..they're already behind schedule.'

-Seriously, it was down here somewhere.

-We haven't got a clue!

-18 minutes.

-They're not even at the first one!

-It's all going to plan.

-Yeah.

CHEERING

-Oh, my God!

-< How's it going, guys?

We haven't got a clue how to use that silly compass.

So we're just going to go by the map and just try and guess.

'For the second checkpoint, Tony's attempting a softer approach.'

Ah!

-Oh, ta. What are they?

-Bluebells.

They're actually like a bell, aren't they?

'But it isn't long...'

-There it is, right in front of us.

-What?

-That's it.

-It's not.

-That's it.

-'..before they're lost again.'

-You see things the way you want.

-Cos I'm always right.

-See what I mean?

-Oh!

-Come on, babe.

-Ta, Rambo! Ow!

-We're flying through.

-Watch the nettles.

-You go first.

There they are!

It's like playing hide and seek.

-I've got survival instincts.

-Oh! Getting a bit cocky now!

The first one was just a pain in the arse.

-Bad workman blaming his tools.

-I'm doing without the tools. That's how we roll, baby.

'With their half hour gone,

'Tony and Serena have managed to find just two checkpoints.'

Usually, you scream, I scream, we start roaring and get a big cob on.

No, let's get that right. We start arguing and she throws a strop.

-You start screaming and I throw a strop.

-See? Works both ways.

It's been a fitting way to end the experience.

The main thing that me and Rachel have picked up on is the communication thing.

It's definitely fitting to see how they reacted when they were thrown in at the deep end.

Next time we come to a forest and there's no-one following us round,

-no-one watching us, could be some funny business going on.

-Shut up!

-Only joking.

-Completely ignore him.

-This is the last day now, having a brew and then we're going back to sunny Wigan.

-Yeah.

- It's been class. - Fun, sharing our wedding...

We got to know each other. We've had to really look into each other's lives.

It's weird, because we've spent so much time together,

< we know each other inside out, sort of thing.

-It's been interesting looking into their lives, hasn't it?

-Yeah.

It's not every day you get to completely grill someone.

'I don't think we know our friends' relationships as well. Both couples have been honest.'

-Hopefully.

-Well, hopefully. We'll find out tomorrow.

-Bye.

-Cheers.

It's been brill, guys.

We've had such a good time. See you later.

-Bye.

-Bye.

I hope that they don't take whatever we say the wrong way.

We've only done it because we want to make it better for them.

I'm not going to be horrible, but I'm going to be straight to the point.

-We need to be to the point.

-Otherwise, they won't listen.

It's going to be hard, coming out with the truth. Whether they like it or not, we've got to do it.

I'm quite sad it's all over now.

I might not be saying that tomorrow, once we've seen the verdict.

Might be, "Don't want to see you again!"

'It's verdict day.'

-Here it is. Ready for this, babe?

-Yeah. Come on. Get it on!

'Both weddings have been planned to take place in a few weeks' time.'

I hope we haven't come across as if we've got major issues.

-I don't feel like we've got that many. Do you?

-No. Nothing major.

'The nearlyweds' honest assessments could change each other's lives for ever.'

We don't know what conclusion they're going to come out with.

Like judgment day. Yeah, it's good, or no it's bad.

I think there'll be a few surprises in there.

Here we go. Come on, Sam!

-I'm excited.

-'Hi, Tony and Serena.'

'We're here to talk about your relationship but we're going to kick off with we've had a great time.

'It's been great meeting you guys.

'We think that you guys have got a good basis of a relationship.

'You obviously genuinely love each other, but...'

But!

'We think that one of the main issues in your relationship that needs addressing is communication.

'Relationships are partnerships.

'You need to talk to your partner

'and listen to what your partner's saying.

'You need to speak to each other and sort it out,

'rather than just accepting it, which is what you've done.

'One of the other main things that we wanted to speak to you about

'is you're living in each other's pockets 24/7.

'Tony, I think, man-to-man, you need to grow a set.

'Put your foot down and tell Serena that you're going out with the lads.

'Because boys' time is as important as spending time with your missus.

'Serena, what I think you need to do is try and encourage Tony

'and give him a bit more space.

'If Rachel was texting me when I was out with the lads,

'she knows that I'd be like, "No."'

Point blank, no!

'If you don't address this, we fear that you guys

'five, six, seven years down the line,

'are going to have spent so much time together that all you'll be doing is bickering.

'And maybe even could cause you guys to split up, which, obviously,

'we don't want happening.

'We've also noticed, a lot of things, Serena's done a lot of it.

'Everything from the wedding, it's got Serena written all over it.

'The house is lovely,

-'but it's just all Serena.'

-All me. Exactly.

-'I can't see any of you there, Tony.

-Maybe, Tony, try and be a bit more forceful about what you want...'

-You don't tell me.

-Just watch.

'..Serena, maybe you trying to listen to what he's saying.

'Serena, if you spit the dummy out, Tony, you need to just put it back

'and just say, "This is what I want to do, so get it sorted."

-'Basically, we think you should get married.

-Yeah.

-'You make a brilliant couple.

-You obviously love each other.

'But if some of these problems are not addressed, it could cause massive massive problems

'a few years down the line.'

It's nothing that we didn't know already. No-one's perfect.

We knew the communication thing and me moaning about not having time to myself.

-They've picked up...

-Everything in the wedding and this house is me.

Because when I say, "Tony, would you like the living room grey and black? "Whatever you want, love."

-They don't see...

-"What do you think of these favours?" "Whatever you want, love." That's what you do.

-Yes. I admit to it...

-It's all my input.

-So...

-You aren't arsed.

-Like I said, they're picking up on things...

-Yeah. It is a problem.

You need to open your mouth more and go, "I want that."

"I think that'd be nice."

Put your opinion into it.

-It's not as bad as what they're making out.

-It is.

-It's not.

-It is.

Why should the stress be left up to me to make sure everything's right?

-Fair enough.

-It should be both of us, not just me.

-OK.

-Are we ready?

-Yeah.

-Let's go.

-'Hi.

-Hello.

'Sam, Rach, you're sitting here watching this.

'This is what we're here to do, the final verdict of what we think of your relationship.

'I think, in a way, you're very compatible because...

'you do get along

'and you do seem to enjoy one another's company.

'On the bad side of it, it seems to me like everything is...

-'Like friends, isn't it?

-Yeah. You're too "friendly".

'There has to be aspects of romance.

'I think you, Sam, need to pay more attention to Rachel.

'If Tony was like that with me, I would be gone in a second.

'You need to feel appreciated, feel like it's worthwhile.

'Rachel, when you tried your wedding dress on and you got upset, that upset me.

'That's meant to be the happiest time of your life and you got upset

'cos you're worried Sam's not going to make you feel special on your wedding day.'

-Are you OK?

-'Which I think's wrong.

-'Straight away, that shouldn't be happening, mate.

-No.

'Something's going wrong.

'Sam, you are capable of the romance cos we've seen you in Rome doing it.

'One thing that I think from what I've seen

'and what I think needs to be sorted is the wedding.

'I think it's been rushed.

'You're doing it cos you had a date in your head.

'You should wait for a church.

'I know you're sitting there, Rachel, saying, "No. Bla-di-bla."

'Bollocks! A load of crap!

'We think that, yeah, you should get married. You're great together.

'It works for yous. You SEEM happy. You SEEM semi in love.'

LAUGHING: Semi in love!

'Please sort this out. I think it's going to go tits up if you don't.'

Hm.

What were you crying for?

Nothing.

-Tell me.

-Nothing.

You're not going to tell me?

Serena said, didn't she? You should have been listening!

The issues that they brought up, we know about.

-Especially with me being romantic and stuff. Go on!

-No.

-Go on.

-It's just what Serena was saying.

-You not feeling special enough?

It's down to the romance, isn't it?

It's been pointed out, so I'll work on it.

-Don't cry.

-OK.

No, it's just... You know.

I know I'll feel special on the day but sometimes you forget about me.

I just want it to be a special day for us two.

-You know what I mean?

-I love you.

Are you OK?

'It's been two months since the verdicts were delivered.

'There's been plenty of time to think through what was said.'

I've said before, I don't think we've got any issues or I'm perfect,

but obviously, watching that, I realise that it's not.

'I do need to work on romance.

'I just keep like, "I'll do something small."'

I've got comfortable in the relationship and I need to work on it.

'I might have to start getting my hands dirty,'

getting more involved in decisions, not just only in the wedding, but the relationship in general.

'It was her decision to get married at the Bellingham Hotel. That's absolutely fine.'

If Rachel said, "I do want to get married in a church,"

definitely, yeah, I'd stop it now, today!

'I think our relationship, before we done this was...'

We were never going to split up. It was always going to be forever.

'Life's all about bettering yourself, so I'm actually glad'

that an outsider looked into our relationship and seen the issues we knew we had anyway.

'But it's nice that a stranger has seen that.

'So that makes me think now we do really need to start, like,'

working on that a bit and it will improve our relationship.

CHEERING

'Do I think Sam can be different?'

Six and a half years, he's not changed.

'It would be a very nice surprise.'

I'd be over the moon, but if he doesn't, I'll still love him anyway.

Before I met you, life didn't seem full.

A piece from the puzzle was missing.

You bring out the best of me in good times and in bad.

I have met my soul mate, my best friend, my lover, my everything.

That is why I take you to be my wife for as long as we both shall live.

'I know me, Serena and Tony bullied him into doing personal vows.'

Your personal vows were lovely.

We didn't listen about postponing.

It's not where we get married. It's who we're getting married to.

CHEERING

'We do have a communication problem but I think...'

-That's the only problem.

-..it's part of our relationship that makes us who we are.

It makes us better rather than worse.

You can tell he's had a few wines! He won't stop talking!

-I think we're perfect the way we are.

-I didn't think it was a problem anyway...

-Stop talking.

The pair of us suit each other perfect! In ten years' time,

we'll still be arguing, making up, having a laugh.

We'll just be us till we're... we're ready to drop dead, won't we?

CHEERING

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