Ashley & Don Don't Just Stand There... I'm Having Your Baby

This programme contains some strong language.

-Pain. Labour.

-SHE SCREAMS

Good girl.

A new born baby.

The biggest day for any new mum.

But what about the dads?

One in three young men in the UK feel left out of the pregnancy

and side-lined at the birth.

Men do tend to take a back seat,

we're just really there to take the abuse.

But all that is about to change.

This whole pregnancy is happening to me as well, I'm not pregnant

but I'm in a sense going through it.

In this brand-new series, first-time dads-to-be will get

a crash course to hopefully become the perfect birthing partner.

I haven't got a clue at the minute.

I don't think I'm prepared at all.

It's such an unknown to me, and that really scares me.

Taking on this unique challenge are midwives with years of experience.

So you tell me what you can feel.

We've never done anything like this before, working with the father.

It's going to be really different for us.

And with each other for moral support...

Thank God you're here.

..these men will get closer to the delivery action

than they could have ever imagined.

He's done brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

-I've got a tear in my eye now.

-Yeah, yeah. Lovely, isn't it?

But when push comes to shove...

Come on, push, push!

Keep on going, baby girl. Keep on going, baby girl.

..will these dads deliver?

It's the hardest thing I've ever done, this.

This programme contains some strong language.

Tonight, two clueless, first-time, dads-to-be in urgent need of help.

Welcome back onto stage Mr Ashley James.

# Relight my fire

# Your love is my only desire... #

Club singer Ashley and beautician Catherine from Stockton-On-Tees

got together two-and-a-half years ago.

# ..Cos I need I need your love... #

He said, "I'm in a boy band," and I just burst out laughing.

I was like, "No, you are kidding me."

When we first went out on dates and stuff I was saying,

"Yeah, I'm in a big boy band," pulling champagne out and stuff.

She was buying it at first, yeah.

He was trying to big it up and everything

but, no, it didn't work really.

Woo.

Something of Ashley's must be working.

Now there's a baby on the way.

But with just eight weeks till the birth, Catherine's worried.

He makes a joke out of pretty much everything.

He doesn't actually take life seriously.

-Cheers, bud.

-Cheers, mate.

He is a bit of a joker, he's one of the lads,

he's not going to be able to cope at all.

He knows absolutely nothing about it, like,

he is clueless about the whole thing.

As far we know, he's never handled a baby.

And he's not very good with medical or sights of blood or anything.

I am quite squeamish

when it comes to stuff like that, yeah, the blood and stuff.

I'm scared really, but I also want to be there

when the baby opens his eyes.

So a joker who's squeamish and petrified?

With just eight weeks to get from clueless lad to clued-up dad,

Ashley's going on a crash course in maternity.

The reason I do want to do this is

so he does take things a bit more seriously and he does grow up a bit.

Will this terrified boy band wannabe

bottle the biggest performance of his life?

Hopefully they'll teach me

how to carry on cos I haven't got a clue at the minute.

There's a bee!

300 miles away in London, another dad-to-be in need.

Computer programmer, and big kid, Don

has been looked after by wife Georgia for the last six years.

Georgia deals with the money side of things. I get an allowance.

It's just better this way cos I would spend

the money on absolute rubbish if it was left up to me.

Don is absolutely and undeniably geeky

and he is quite proud of that as well.

He is a very naughty boy and he loves toys and the cartoon.

Sorry, son.

I'm quite a big kid, you know.

I still play with toys, I still read a lot of comics,

I still watch cartoons, you know. I love all that stuff.

24-year-old Don even has his own man-room for his toys.

The man-room is where all my gadgets live, I've got my big TV in there.

All my consoles, all my toys, all my guitars and all my computers.

So that's where I can be manly.

Geeky big kid Don is desperate to get more involved

at the birth of his baby girl.

But with eight weeks to go, he's a daddy disaster waiting to happen.

He can be quite clumsy,

he'll drop things or just be a little bit heavy handed.

Just watch the hole, you don't want to fall over.

-No, oh ahh. Oh, are you OK, you OK?

-I'm fine.

-Did I hit the baby?

-No.

He's not the most safe of people to be around with a baby, I guess.

He's fairly clumsy, a bit of a weight bumbling around.

I just said you've got to watch the hole.

Sorry, I didn't see it!

I'm quite big, I've got really big hands and because of my eyes,

I don't have much depth perception, so it can get quite tricky sometimes.

Clumsy hands, man toys, and head lost in cyberspace.

How will Georgia's game boy handle the birth?

If it was right now, I think Don definitely would struggle,

he wouldn't be able to cope.

It's such an unknown to me, and that really scares me cos I don't

want to the muppet at the top of the bed holding Georgia's hand.

-So how long are you going to be?

-Not long.

So, one clueless and squeamish dad-to be...

Right, I got my DS, a notebook and a pencil.

..and one childish and clumsy

have both signed up to this unique challenge...

See you later.

..to transform them from boys...

-So how are you going to write notes, Don?

-Oh, yeah.

..into super dads in the delivery room in just eight weeks.

-Bye.

-Bye.

I've not forgotten anything this time. Oh, my iPad!

Taking on this huge task are midwives with

over 30 years of experience between them.

Judith Mills has seen it all when men and maternity mix.

Over the years, I've seen some dads who don't want to be

part of the pregnancy, let alone the labour.

I'm just going to do your blood pressure, is that all right?

And then there's some dads who really would like to play

an active role.

Now she's got her hands full,

whipping an anxious Ashley into shape.

Hi, I'm Judith Mills.

Hopefully this one-to-one tuition will encourage those dads to

know what they can do, how they can do it

and what the benefits of that is for this new chapter in their lives.

Hi, it's Don, I'm here to see a midwife. Thank you.

Hi, my name's Liz, welcome to Queen Elizabeth.

Don and Georgia's team of midwives is led by Liz Ware.

It's a very, very in-depth subject, midwifery, you have to study

for three years to become a midwife and it's very, very intense.

She was found to be 2cm dilated, fully effaced.

Liz and her team have delivered hundreds of babies,

but how will they deal with the biggest kid of all?

We've not done anything like this before,

working with the father is going to be really different for us.

Push, push, push, push, everything you've got.

I think we have a long road ahead.

At first, you won't have any clue about what it's like.

Not got a clue. It's just a big mound to me.

It's lesson one for the dads.

Around one third of men choose not to learn anything

about their partner's pregnancy.

So first, the midwives have come up with a way

for the lads to understand what's it's actually like to be pregnant.

This is what you're going to be wearing for the next 24 hours.

You're going to wear this

so you can experience what it feels like to be pregnant.

Yeah, all right.

What Georgia's going through, how heavy it is.

Yeah, that's, er, it's not light, no.

How debilitating pregnancy can be, OK?

-Wow.

-So let's get you rigged up.

Their partners will gain on average two stone over nine months.

This belly will make Don 37 weeks pregnant instantly.

The midwives hope it will make him more sympathetic towards Georgia.

Over the next 24 hours, you will really appreciate

pregnancy in a different way.

See you guys later. Say bye to the baby.

BOTH: Bye, baby.

-Bye, Don. See you.

-Bloody hell, it's hard to walk!

I think he's going to be surprised how challenging it's going to be.

I think he's quite laid back at the moment.

I think he doesn't quite realise the uphill task he has ahead.

Do you want to hear what he actually says?

You've got two weeks to lose that weight after you've had that baby.

Yeah, but I'm only messing about when I say that. I'm only joking.

You've said it like 100 times.

Unsympathetic Ashley also needs to get some empathy for Catherine.

So he's getting a belly as well.

I never signed up for this.

I do hope that from wearing the empathy belly,

he will be a little bit more thoughtful

with Catherine having that extra weight

and give him an idea of how women might feel during pregnancy.

-All right, baby.

-Hello.

-Hello.

SHE LAUGHS

Notice anything different?

Erm, you've put on a bit of weight, haven't you?

I've put on a little bit. I can't really hug you.

-Now you see how I feel.

-Yeah.

Oh, that's cheered me up, I like that.

-Go on, get me a drink, where's my...?

-Oh, shut up!

THEY LAUGH I'm further along than you.

The dads-to-be must wear their bellies for the next 24 hours

without a break.

I'm hoping this vest holds my boobs in.

But it just looks stupid. Look.

You've got a nice pair there, Ash.

This is stupid!

As part of their crash course, the lads have arranged to meet up.

I think it is really important for dads to get together to discuss

their experiences and what their perceptions

and what their ideas are.

And the only way Ashley and Don will recognise each other...

I look an absolute idiot.

..is by their bumps.

Oh, I can't walk round like this, can I?

I can't walk round like this. I'm going to look an absolute idiot.

Put your hoodie on and see what it's like.

Put me hoodie on, this hoodie, it's not going to make a change.

I'm not putting that on.

Ashley, I have to walk around like a fat, ugly cow.

Yeah, but you're a woman, I'm a man. I'm not supposed to look like this.

Well, take the boobs out then.

The joys of being pregnant, Don.

I need an extra large shirt.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

What an idiot I look.

Bye.

I think this is the place I'm supposed to be meeting

the other dad, so I'm looking out for someone that's like,

got a bit of a waddle, that's going to be waddling down

and coming to meet me.

There's someone coming here with quite a big belly.

A pair of boobs as well. This must be the other dad.

All right. How you doing, mate? Are you all right?

-All right, yeah.

-I'm Ashley.

-Nice to meet you, I'm Don.

Don. You got your boobs in as well.

-Yeah, these come with boobs.

-Can you not take them ones out?

Nah, you can't take these out, no.

Now with each other for moral support, the midwives have

arranged for Ashley and Don to meet some women in the same boat...

-All right, I'm Ashley, nice to meet you.

-And you.

-I'm Don, nice to meet you.

-Hello, Don.

..for a session of pregnancy yoga.

Right, we're going to start off with the usual circle round,

and this morning what you're finding positive about pregnancy.

I'm Zania, I'm due end of June.

The things positive about pregnancy is, erm,

to feel closeness with the baby straight away.

Yeah, I'm Ashley, I'm due in about seven weeks.

Best thing about having a bit of a bump like this is that

I can rest my tea on bump when I'm having a cup of tea.

Hi, I'm Don.

The best part of this pregnancy is that I woke up 37 weeks pregnant.

The dads need to pay attention

to get an idea of what it's really like to be pregnant.

We're going to start off with a short breathing exercise.

They might even learn how to help their partners relax during labour.

Being aware of what your own pattern of breathing is like.

If they can take it seriously.

Face relaxed, just let your breathing do that work.

So moving your pelvis.

You can start it off quite small if you want

or you can do bigger circles, and just see how that feels.

And then in your own time,

bring your arms up right over your head, down.

Focus, yes?

This whole wearing the belly thing is well, pretty, pretty intense.

I think definitely I'm a bit more aware of how,

cos if anything it's like, you're bigger, you're really a lot bigger.

And you sort of bump into things. Your centre of gravity has changed

and you can definitely feel that that's not my balance point any more.

Don's a nice guy.

It'll be interesting talking about wearing these suits and that

and his feelings about it and, er,

yeah, talking about whether his missus is a bit whingey like mine.

So...nice having that in common, really.

Yoga over, the boys make a break for a pregnancy free zone.

So have you met your midwife yet?

Yeah, yeah, I've had one session. What about you?

Yeah, it's just unreal how much there is to learn and that.

It's not an easy job at all.

-I'm nervous.

-Really? I'm, I'm...

-I'm a bit scared, yeah.

I want it short and sweet.

I've been told some story about some lady who gave birth in her sleep.

That would be all this training wasted though, wouldn't it,

if she gives birth in her sleep?

Cheers, mate. Best of luck.

Good luck, good luck. I'm sure we'll meet again.

I'm sure we'll need the luck as well.

They're going to need more than just luck.

D-day is fast approaching for the dads.

Ohh, Ashley! Oh, look at the size of this spider. Get it.

That? That's a daddy long legs.

Ashley, I stick my hands in there to clean up,

please will you just get it.

Just six weeks to the births and there's another big lesson looming.

I'm off to see Judith and we're going to have another session,

learn a bit more stuff, hopefully.

I don't know what I'll be doing today though.

I hope it's not nothing to do with big bellies or owt like that.

Big boobs.

After a session each, they're already on their way to getting to

grips with pregnancy and even childbirth.

It should be quite fun though.

I'll sit there like that, I'll catch the baby.

Or maybe not.

Pop out.

I'm hoping the baby doesn't pop out like that, Don.

Why? Surely that would be easier than some strainy-strainy-strainy

with a bit of pull.

I don't think they pull the baby.

-I've got a lot to learn.

-Not like that, anyway.

Midwife lesson two.

The dads must learn how to get more hands on during pregnancy.

Like over half the men in the UK,

Ashley and Don worry that they won't do a good job in the birth.

And so far, Ashley's been too nervous

to even touch Catherine's bump.

What I'd really like Ashley to get out of this session

is not to be concerned about touching Catherine.

To give him that confidence that he can touch

and start to visualise where this baby is inside.

Today they're learning how to tell the different

positions of a baby in the womb through touch alone.

So let's say this baby is in that position.

If you can imagine feeling baby, it's going to be quite firm there.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, yeah.

Where on this side it would be a lot softer,

and if I'm very lucky, he might start doing that

-and I might feel a limb.

-Do you know what she's saying?

Yeah, I know what she's saying, yeah.

I'm going to test you in a minute.

I've been feeling where the baby's lying on a dummy, so now I'm going

to actually feel where the baby's lying in Catherine's belly, I think.

But I'm hoping it's Judith doing all the feeling cos I don't want

to feel...in the wrong place or hurt the baby. I am really nervous.

I start from the top and work my fingers all the way down.

Feeling the bump is also a huge hurdle for a heavy handed

and clumsy Don.

If it's a bum, you'll sort of feel the whole body moving with

the baby, the head is quite manoeuvrable, OK?

Scary, scary.

Feeling the baby's position in the womb is a skill that takes

midwives years of practice to master.

So do you want to have a go? Tell us what you think?

Neither dad has done this before and must be under strict supervision.

Yeah, go on then. I'm a bit scared, really.

I don't know how. I'm quite heavy handed.

I don't want to poke her in the eye or something like that.

No, you wouldn't.

If it's not hurting Georgia, then it's fine.

OK. Is that hurting?

Not at all. I can barely feel what you're touching.

I can feel something there, maybe.

So have you got any idea where you think this baby might be?

I'll have a guess.

OK, do you want to draw it for us?

Are you all right if I draw on you, babes?

This is going to be an interesting drawing.

-Right so, bum.

-Sorry.

I'm going to guess there's some hands here.

Now I'll draw the head.

I think that's the baby.

And you're absolutely right.

The baby's bum is right up here, the back's all the way round here

because it's all hard all the way round,

-and the head is right down here. Well done, Don.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

-Well done.

Success for Don.

Have a little feel.

Now it's Ashley's turn. If he's too scared to get hands on here,

he's not going to be any use to Catherine at delivery.

You can touch us, you know.

I don't want to, er, press too hard so I daren't press too hard.

I tell you what, you put your hand on

and I'll put my hand over the top. You tell me what you can feel.

-I can't feel nothing there.

-Is it nice and smooth?

-I don't want to touch it any more.

-Stop it, I like it.

Listen to Catherine, she'll soon tell you.

There, there, there!

Yeah. So where do you think it's lying, Ashley?

Well, I would say the back is there, because when I felt on this side,

it's quite knobbly, so it'd be like legs or arms.

So let me have a little feel, I'll feel now, eh?

Yeah, you have a feel, yeah.

So you thought baby's back was on that side, Ashley?

-Yeah.

-Yeah? The back's actually on the right.

Is it? So I got it totally wrong.

Yeah, but that's not a problem is it,

because the biggest thing is you're just touching,

and not being frightened to touch.

That's the thing, I didn't touch hard enough probably,

but...I didn't dare.

Don't be frightened to touch.

Loads throughout the pregnancy,

I've been like trying to get him to press on and feel the baby

when the baby's kicking and all that kind of stuff.

So hopefully like Judith said, he'll press on gradually more

and more each day until he can eventually press on properly.

So the boys have learnt where their babies are,

now they've got under six weeks to work out how they come out.

-I think there's a crap load to do.

-Yeah, what do we have to do?

Erm, move these somewhere.

Don's learning that he needs to make some big sacrifices

for his baby girl.

With only two bedrooms, the man-room's got to go.

So today we are turning the man-room into the daddy-daughter room.

So it's going to be half man, half daughter.

But he's not losing all of it, Georgia's letting him keep half.

The reason I'm still allowed half a man-room is

because Georgia doesn't want my man stuff anywhere else,

so at least this way she won't have to just walk around and there'll be

a robot here or, you know, a little toy here or something like that.

So I think this way she sort of, she still contains it.

You all right?

No, it's heavy.

It's not that heavy.

Yeah, it's cos I'm holding all the weight.

Saying goodbye to half his man-room has helped Don focus on fatherhood.

Everything in the bedroom.

I'll be a nice mix.

It's the daddy-daughter room. It's nicer this way.

Going in here for one, man?

Paternity's also getting closer for Ashley.

Tonight he's doing some special preparation of his own.

Just having a big session really on the town.

It's going to be totally different when the baby's born.

I'm not going to be going out as much so...

Tonight, just going to get wrecked, really.

Have a good time, have a good laugh.

A bit of Dutch courage could be exactly what Ashley needs

to help him come to terms with impending fatherhood.

Sort of scared. I've been thinking about it loads over the last

couple of days, couple of weeks.

But tonight I feel a lot better.

I feel ready to be a dad and that. I'm excited about the future.

I've got a lot of work to do but the waters shouldn't break tonight.

So hopefully plenty of drinks, a bit of dancing, chippy on my way home,

night's a good 'un. Have a good time.

I might have a Sambuca.

Two jugs of cocktail.

I'm an expectant father.

I'm going to help deliver the baby with the midwives.

Can I have two Jager-bombs, mate, and two apple sours, pal. Cheers.

You've ripped my pants.

Good job it's the end of the night.

In London, the daddy-daughter room is finished.

If you look at it from this way, daddy side,

grey gun metal wall, robots, computer.

And if you look on the other side, pink girly looking wall, cot,

pink bedding.

Nice compromise. I'll just spend all my time looking this way.

Don may have lost half his man-room,

but now he's got a whole new set of toys to play with.

Steriliser, baby monitor, breast pump, a little bin,

you put smelly nappies in there, bottle warmer, baby light,

baby sling, you can put baby anything in here.

I'm into gadgets at the best of times,

now I've got an excuse to get into a new whole sector of gadgetry.

I suppose he could be looking at this process in the same way

as he would attack a game, in that he knows that he needs

to do everything perfectly before he can go onto the next level.

I'm dead nervous, really nervous.

It's going to be nerve-wracking. So, yeah.

With time getting tight,

Judith has called Ashley in for a special lesson.

I'm going to show Ashley the placenta.

We don't know how he's going to be on the day and a lot of dads

may be a little bit frightened of blood and what it looks like.

Hopefully, he won't faint on me.

Ashley's fear of blood makes passing out at the birth a real risk.

Before we start, I'll need you to wear a little

bit of protective clothing.

Now he must face his biggest fear.

All dressed up, aren't we?

OK, so what I have in here is I have the placenta.

What is a placenta like?

This is what helps to feed the baby, OK?

Oh, my God.

This is a beautiful, healthy placenta. Are you OK there? Yeah?

Yeah, on the day of the birth,

is there going to be as much blood as that?

Probably. So this is the bag that the baby's in, the bag of waters.

It's crazy isn't it, how it all works.

-It's amazing, isn't it?

-It's amazing, isn't it?

You can have a touch, you'll see what the texture's like.

That's not very nice that, is it? It's horrible.

-Oh, I think it's quite silky.

-Oh, my God.

It's lovely and silky.

Seeing the blood there, that's a lot for me.

It's...too much. Pretty much done. Are we done now?

-Because I'm...

-Yeah.

-Take these gloves off now.

Time's running out for Ashley and now Judith's anxious.

I think he was a bit surprised about the blood.

There might be a little bit more than that at delivery.

And I know he was a little bit wary of the amount

and really there wasn't a great deal.

I think he may be in for a shock, Ashley may be in for a shock.

I expected placenta to be small like a ball or something.

Just like a meatball you have with spaghetti but it's massive.

It was just covered in blood. What them midwives do, it's unreal.

It's made me realise today, like, how much there is to learn.

It's just absolutely loads.

I think today was like a shock for him.

I think he's thinking now, oh God, things are actually going to

start getting serious now, it's not just a mess about.

The massive task ahead has finally dawned on Ashley.

And the clock's ticking.

We're looking for the heart-rate to be above 100 beats a minute.

The lads have just four weeks to knuckle down

if they want to step up in the delivery room.

I feel a bit like they're more mature woman's breasts.

If I had to guess what a more mature woman's breasts were like,

this is what I'd say.

Don't be so cheeky.

He's been doing his homework

and he's been making an effort to learn what he's meant to.

How to detect pregnancy in cows and heifers with rectal palpations."

"What do you think we can do to encourage women to use

"alternate positions in first and second stage of labour?"

These questions this morning,

on my homework I was supposed to have done,

well, what I have tried doing, it's just...

You've just looked at it a second ago.

Ashley's definitely more understanding about me

being pregnant now.

I think this whole process has massively helped out.

Fabulous position though, Ashley. So what you going to do here?

It's a fabulous position.

SHE GROANS

Oh wow, look at that!

Oh, my God.

There's a lot of blood there.

Is that a hand?

Wow, the last bit comes out really quick.

That was all right, do you reckon you can handle that?

-I hope so, yeah.

-DON LAUGHS

With the birth looming, Ashley's about to be put to the test

with his last, and toughest lesson.

Today's going to be the crunch, I think.

We're going to get down to the nitty gritty of the delivery,

the actual giving birth to the baby.

I'd like to see what he feels his role is at that point

because I think that's really key, and then I'll know how ready he is.

Have a seat on there, Ashley.

Catherine and Ashley are planning a water-birth.

-Behind it?

-Behind, yeah.

And Judith wants to see if Ashley's confident enough

to touch his baby when it's born.

But don't forget, he's never even held a baby before.

Baby's head will come down and we'll probably see it.

Now what you can do there, Ashley, feel that baby's head.

I don't want to feel his head cos I don't want to hurt him.

You're not going to hurt him, Ashley.

It's just really to say, "Oh."

See I don't know how I'm going to feel, I might look

and see a bit of blood and topple over.

You will see bit of blood probably,

but it's quite tight at that point.

Then as he comes out, get your hands in,

and then bring him up and out of the water.

Can you bring him out of the water cos I'll be scared?

I've never held a baby before.

I don't know whether he'll be slimy, I don't know what he's...

He's in the water. He won't be slimy cos he's been washed off.

But I would rather him be in your hands, anyway.

When he's out of the water, he can't go back in,

cos when he comes out the water,

that's when he's going to take his first breath.

That's his first ever breath?

-And he takes his first breath then?

-Yeah, when it comes out.

Is it going to, like, scream and cry and look lovely?

Er, I think he's going to cry.

He might be a little bit shell-shocked,

sometimes they don't instantly cry, so don't expect...

-I've got a little tear in my eye now.

-Yeah, it's lovely, isn't it?

Little tear in my eye.

Just felt very real. It was like my real baby was being born. Mad.

It's a happy real though, it's not like err...

I'm crying cos I'm sad. I'm crying cos I'm happy.

I can't image what it's going to be like on the day

if that's how overwhelmed I'm getting now.

Becoming a dad is finally sinking in.

But there's still a big question mark over how Ashley will cope

when push comes to shove.

You can give all the information, but how much of that information

he uses and utilises on the day, time will tell.

There's just three weeks to get ready for the big day.

There's a small percentage of women

who have an abnormal liver function.

But Catherine and Ashley have had some news

that they couldn't prepare for.

It's very likely to...

The midwives have discovered a serious problem with Catherine's

liver, called cholestasis, that could harm the baby in the womb.

I wonder why you've got something wrong with your liver.

Liver's normally associated with, like, alcohol abuse, isn't it?

-I know it's not, but...

-Something that I've developed.

Are you all right? Come here.

You're upsetting the baby.

It means Catherine must be induced to get the baby out.

I don't like it when she's upset and that so...

It upsets me but it'll be fine, won't it,

as long as, as long as baby's all right, that's the main thing.

But there is another problem, the baby is in a position which

will make it difficult for a normal birth.

And after his lesson on baby positions,

Ashley knows exactly what this means.

The baby's in a breach position which means his head's up here

and his bum's down here. So he's in the wrong position.

So it's looking like a caesarean,

which is something we both didn't want.

If the baby doesn't turn around,

Catherine will have a caesarean section.

Come here, you could come back next week, Cat,

and he could be turned round.

It's a massive blow to Ashley's and Catherine's birth plans.

Can I have the Maharajah Special, please, for one person.

And can I have a Lamb Rogan Josh.

First I've got to be induced,

then it's turned into an emergency C-section and he's going to be

early so he's probably going to have to stay in hospital.

It's just like everything I didn't want seems to be happening.

Ashley won't know until the day what sort of birth it will be

and exactly how hands-on he can get.

But one job he knows he needs to do right now

is try and keep Catherine's spirits up.

Are you not happy in a way that it's going to be here early?

-No, what's there to be happy about?

-That it's going to be safe?

If you look as it an a whole,

the pluses outweigh the minuses, easily.

It's all right for you to say that

because you don't have to go through any of the pain.

I know I don't. I've already said that, I know.

It's going to be worth it in the long run though.

It's just like having a tattoo or something though,

no pain, no gain, it's like that really.

We're going to have a lovely baby.

Oh, shut up, man. Stop nagging. I've had enough.

We're going to be fine, man. You're strong as hell.

If anybody can do this, you can do it. And I know you can.

With his baby on the way in the next few days,

Ashley needs some urgent help with last minute preparations.

Fellow dad Don is stepping into the breach.

-Hi, mate.

-Hiya.

-How're you doing?

-How are you, man?

-Yeah, good, yeah. You?

-Yeah.

-How's things?

-Yeah, all right. How are you?

-Oh, not too good, to be honest.

Err, we found out the baby was in the breach position.

Oh, yeah, yeah, OK.

And she's got some sort of abnormality affecting her liver,

so we need to get the baby out, apparently, now as soon as we can.

Yeah, yeah. When are they looking to induce?

Well, they can only induce her if they can turn the baby round,

but if not then we're going to have to have a C-section.

Yeah, yeah. Tough. How you holding up though?

Yeah, not bad, yeah. It's nice to see you, actually.

Yeah, definitely, definitely.

You going to help me come and do a bit of shopping, like?

What do you need to get?

Cat wrote a list out

and I don't have a clue what some of these things are.

Well, maternity pads, you don't know what maternity pads are?

-After birth, the woman's going to be...

-Bleeding?

-Yeah, or leaking.

-Ah, OK. I've got some boob pads.

Yeah, yeah. That's for leaky boobs, this is for leaky...down there.

-Downstairs.

-Downstairs, yeah.

Nappy wipes. Muslin squares.

It's just a piece of fabric, literally is a piece of fabric

and you put it here and if you burp the baby

and say the baby throws up, if it throws up it's only going to be...

-Catches all the...?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Can't you just use a tea towel?

DON LAUGHS

You know your stuff.

-I did a lot of research and, er...

-Thank God you're here.

Thing is, if I didn't do my research, Georgia would be...

unbearably angry with me. So I might as well do it.

That's probably the reason Cat's angry with me.

THEY LAUGH

-What's on the list?

-Electric breast pump.

What kind of breast pump does she want?

I'll go with the price, me.

It were nice to have a cup of tea earlier on and just talk

to him about everything and put some of my problems on him.

I can imagine he's going through a pretty hard time at the moment.

And I think this is hopefully one less thing, you know,

he has to worry about.

-What's next on the list?

-Nappy wipes.

It's just picking me up a bit and making me a bit happier.

Cotton wool balls, lots of.

You got everything on your list. Can't go wrong.

Still rocked by the shock of the complications,

Ashley's fears about the birth are getting the better of him.

Judith makes a home visit to get him back on track.

So if we go down that induction route, you might still be able

to do all those things, if you want to do them.

Yeah, I do want to do most of them things. Yeah, definitely.

Don't be frightened to put into place

some of the things that you learn.

It's all down to whether the...whether they can

-turn the baby round, really.

-It is, yeah.

On what I do and what I don't do. But either way, if I can't

turn the baby round, I'll still have a big part to play, won't I?

Yeah, you've got...if it's a caesarean section,

-it's that emotional support, isn't it?

-Yeah.

And that support's immediately following delivery.

He's obviously...anxious and a bit worried.

But if he goes into this with a little bit less fear,

a little bit less apprehension and a little bit more certainty,

then haven't we achieved something?

Our last day as two, and tomorrow we're going to be three.

There are less than 24 hours to go to the birth.

I hope he turns round a bit. Or else I'm not bringing him to the beach.

And it looks like Judith's pep talk has paid off.

I'm ready. I'm ready to rock.

Just before I go on stage, I sort of, like, warm up, ready to perform.

And that's how I am now. I'm just relaxed and so chilled out.

From tomorrow there's always going to be someone calling you dad.

Like, for the rest of your like now you're going to be someone's dad.

-I know.

-How strange is that?

You're not going to be a dad though, are you?

Obviously not.

It is a big thing someone to be learning and taking it all in

and it's quite a big responsibility, really.

I just hope he's not going to be panicked,

he's going to be there more for me, to keep me calm and keep me relaxed.

Yeah, I've just got to stay calm tomorrow and be there for her,

and I will be.

She's relying on me big style tomorrow.

Right, babe, so, I'm going to test you for tomorrow.

How many centimetres am I before I actually have the baby?

-Ten.

-Yeah, can you remember how to change...?

You'll be fine, man. It's all covered, it's all up here.

As Ashley shows off his new knowledge,

in London, Don's in action.

Georgia's waters have broken and she having contractions.

Oh, sorry.

Are they mild, very mild, medium?

-Mild.

-Mild.

Putting his everything he's learnt into practice,

computer geek Don is timing them with a special app.

The average of your last three contractions,

came about every five minutes 31 seconds,

and lasted for about 39 seconds. OK.

I'm looking for a strong contraction every two to three minutes

that lasts about a minute.

How are you contracting?

About every five to six minutes.

Are they good, or...?

They're...they're painful enough,

so I'm thinking that you should probably wake up soon.

Through the night, contractions become stronger and longer.

Do you think we should call the...labour ward yet?

Nah, do you want to sit on the ball?

-Oh, oh.

-No.

-I was getting some rest.

You actually had some sleep.

It's not fair if you rub it in by snoring.

-Did I start snoring?

-Yeah.

By 8am, Don decides the time is right to head into hospital.

You all right?

Oops.

They're lasting a minute and a bit for about every four minutes, maybe.

OK. There was a period when it was, like, two and a half minutes,

there'd be one for, like, 40 seconds or so.

-So they're a bit irregular at the moment?

-Yeah.

We would call that incoordinate as well,

but that's a good thing that you're having them,

so your body's trying to do it itself, anyway.

-Do you want me to lift you up or...?

-Yeah, maybe. OK.

-That's not working.

-That's it. How's that?

Don did very well at home, actually, I'm actually quite impressed.

He knew what to do, they've come in at the right time

but there's still a lot of things that he can do.

This is where the hard work starts from.

In the last few weeks, big kid Don has had to grow up fast.

Get to grips with his clumsiness and man-up for fatherhood.

Bring your arms up, right over your head.

The midwives have taught him

everything he needs to help Georgia give birth.

Have a feel. You tell me where you feel it is.

It's a bum definitely here.

Now it's up to Don to put it all into practice.

You're correct.

This one here checks for the heart rate

and this one here is to check for the contractions.

You're quite right.

Any other pain relief, gas and air, I'm going to happily take it.

So that I know how to use it for when I really need it.

OK, if that's what you think.

Cos there, there is a technique to it, isn't there?

You suck it.

I've also heard that it makes some people feel sick.

Yeah, exactly, it does make some people a bit...

-Is there one for the dad as well?

-No.

-I need the gas.

Tell her she'll be fine, Judith, won't she?

-She's going to be absolutely gorgeous.

-You'll be fine.

Today is the final test for joker Ashley after his crash course

in pregnancy, labour and birth.

Want a magazine? Take your mind off things, no?

Can he get over fears, overcome his squeamishness,

and take his role as a super dad seriously?

Have we got a bit of a tissue?

Yeah, let's get some tissue, honey.

First, the crucial attempt to move the baby.

He's just going to try and move the baby round.

Then if he manages to do that, we can induce Catherine

and she can have a normal birth. There's a lot riding on this.

With his knowledge of foetal positioning in the womb, Ashley

can assist with keeping Catherine calm during the tricky procedure.

Nice big breaths. This is where you'd tell Catherine to breathe.

Yeah, nice big breaths.

Well done. Deep breaths.

-It's just not moving.

-Not going anywhere.

-Not moving, it's there.

-Yeah.

-So to try and bring it,

cos once you try one side, you should try the other side. But it's too far.

-It's not.

-It's just too far. I think I'll go.

Her stomach muscles are that tight, he struggled to do it.

He actually managed to pop the baby out the pelvis, so he got that far

but he couldn't...he couldn't really turn him any further.

So that's it. We're going to have a C-section now.

A couple of minutes.

Cat. It'll be fine.

Cat, it'll be fine. It's a tiny little operation.

He had a good understanding this morning of what was going on,

what's happening.

Maybe, I don't think he truly understands Catherine's

disappointment, emotionally.

I think I'd have liked to have seen him

support her a little bit more.

But then, that could be his anxiety as well.

You need to be strong from now on, OK?

Are you going to make me a promise?

Stop crying now, be strong. This is your time to shine.

I love you. Love you, OK?

I'm here with you.

On your chest, and push the back out toward me.

Catherine's liver condition, plus the fact the doctors can't

turn the baby, means it will need to be a caesarean section.

It's time for anxious Ashley to put all his hard work into action.

Over the last eight weeks,

Judith's tried to get him to take pregnancy seriously.

Bigger circles.

Made him confront his fears of blood and birth.

Oh, my God.

And take on his terror of dropping the baby.

All so that he can be the perfect birthing partner

and support Catherine.

While Judith comforts Catherine, Ashley must put his own

emotions aside and join them in theatre.

It's helping me get through it all, all the stuff I've learnt over

the last few months but, in a way, sometimes it can be worse cos

you know what's happening every step of the way.

So I know what could go wrong, what could go right, so...

HE SNIFFS

Trying to keep it together but it's really hard.

It's the hardest thing I've ever done, this.

Feeling all these emotions now but I know when I go into that room

I've got to turn it all off and be strong.

So...difficult, innit?

I think you know what's going on down there now as well, don't we?

Ashley's made it to Catherine's side, can he stick with it

for the whole operation and hold the baby when it's born?

In London, after eight hours of labour,

Georgia has been given an epidural - a painkiller that's injected

directly into the nerves in her back.

Don can now help manage the tops-up of pain relief under supervision.

-Press every 25 minutes or half an hour.

-Cool.

As Georgia needs it in terms of her pain.

Make sure you press it when we're in the room.

-Cool, so pressing.

-Yeah.

It is... Oh, I can feel it cool down my back.

Really?

Georgia's now definitely bound to her bed.

She can't really walk about or move so I think, I think my role now

is literally her arms and legs kind of thing.

If she wants anything, I'm going to have to go get it

and run for it and stuff like that.

There's still a lot of other things now I have to do.

Sit there and look at the monitor and if anything changes

before the midwives come, maybe I can just grab them.

Don's weeks of studying are paying off.

-Ready? Yeah?

-Yeah.

Under the watchful eye of the midwives,

there's plenty of monitoring to do. Gadget geek Don in his element.

So this is, er, her temperature. That in?

It's 37.3.

All right, that's good.

He's making sure the epidural's working well.

He's very anal about time, actually.

He's making sure he's topping her up on the half-hour,

making sure the blood pressure is done exactly five minutes.

One, two, three, four.

He has taken everything seriously.

He remembered everything that we've taught him so far.

-Good.

-You all right?

-Blood pressure, my darling.

Oh, yes, sure, no contraction or anything?

-So we've a bit of a role, extra role going on there.

-Oh, yeah.

-That's good.

-He's in charge of the top-ups.

-That's brilliant.

-He's in charge of the blood pressures.

Is he the water top-up person?

-No, I'm the, er, the, the...

-Epidural.

-Epidural top-up person.

Don's impressed the midwives, but can he step up to

the more practical role he wants during delivery?

I think we'll have to get married soon.

In theatre, Ashley's doing his best to keep Catherine calm.

And once the baby's born,

he will need to get over his fear of handling his son.

Well done.

Oh, I've seen him.

BABY CRIES

Oh, he's gorgeous.

He's here, Cat.

-He's here.

-He's here.

Do you want to pass him over?

-Am I all right passing him over?

-Yeah, I've got him with you.

Come on. Oh, you've got your mummy here. Right.

-Put him down.

-Putting him down. Gorgeous!

Should we get a warm towel? Yeah?

Ah, little lad.

Put your arms in.

Little lad.

Keep him nice and warm.

Little boy. Oh, Daddy's here. I'm here.

I'm here for ya, yeah? Look like me, don't ya?

-Where do I cut?

-Just there.

There? I'm not going to hurt him, am I?

-No.

-There? Am I all right?

-That's fine.

BABY CRIES

-Is that all right?

-Yeah, it's fine.

Oh. You're a whinger like your mum.

Gorgeous. Congratulations, yeah?

Come on. Come on. I've got you.

I love you.

There's our baby.

Ohh. You bugger.

I grabbed him and brought him to Cat, the baby.

I held him straight away, I cut the cord down there.

I did the best I could, so...

I'm just grateful to all these people in here

for everything they've done.

Are you going to keep us up all night?

Holding him for that first time was just amazing.

Just, like, my real, my own son in my arms, my own flesh and blood.

I'm never going to stop caring about him now,

for the rest of his life.

Ashley was a little bit of a joker.

I don't think he really took on board

the responsibility of his role.

Today, I think he's come into his own, he's done really well.

Catherine and her new son are both doing well, Ashley is now a dad.

OK, brilliant.

Don still has it all to do.

Georgia's in the final stages of labour.

I think it's probably time I change out of this white t-shirt.

HE GIGGLES

Maybe into a black t-shirt, just in case there's a bit of fluid about.

He's mentally prepared, he's been really involved throughout

the day, he looks like he's going to be fine.

We'll see what happens next.

-Don, I want you to wash your hands.

-Yes, OK. Wash up to my elbows or...?

You can go up, but you're not scrubbing for theatre,

we just need to know that you're clean.

There's a lot of reasons I wanted to do this,

learn more about the pregnancy thing, knowledge is a good thing,

but I think one of the other things was, I wanted to be one of the first

people to touch my little baby, get some hands-on experience I guess.

Everything you've got, Georgia. Really hard, really hard.

For Don, the weeks of intensive learning have come down to today.

If you need me up that end, please tell me though.

-I will do but I'm OK at the moment.

-You're doing very good, baby girl.

It's really good.

Push really hard. Harder. Keep it going.

OK, brilliant. Keep it going. That's the one.

That's it. Keep on going. Nice long one. Go on, Georgia.

That's the one. Don't be afraid. Go on, push forward.

Keep on going, baby girl. Keep on going, baby girl. There we go.

Keep on going, keep on going. Keep on going, Georgia.

Keep on going, keep on going.

-I want to get you round, Don, with me.

-OK, should I...?

So if you come here, Don. OK. That's it.

-OK, give me your hands, Don.

-Yeah, both of them?

-Yeah, just come down here with me.

-Yeah.

-Feel the baby's head here.

-Oh, yeah.

A little push, darling.

-Right, if you look here, there's your baby's head.

-Oh, yeah!

-The baby's head is born, darling. OK, Don.

-Yeah.

Get your hands here and here with me,

we're going to wait for the baby to restitute.

Remember what that was?

It turns around so the shoulders can go through.

That's right, that's right. So just put your hands on mine here.

-OK, I'll put it in yours.

-OK, keep pushing.

Give me another push. There we go, Don, take your baby.

BABY CRIES

There she is!

HE LAUGHS HAPPILY

It's our little baby girl.

Oh, my God!

Cut up to the blue there. Really hard. That's it.

Well done, Don. Well done, Don.

Thank you so much, that was so cool, that was so cool.

Congratulations.

Oh, look at her! That's our little baby girl.

-Who's that?

-I know.

He done brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

I stepped back a couple of times and just let him

give her instruction about pushing and stuff and he came into his own.

I can't say enough, I'm really impressed with him, to be honest.

He's been the most hands-on dad we've had in the delivery room.

I was glad that, you know, he learnt so much because I didn't have to

worry about anything and that kind of continued all the way through.

I'm really proud of Don. Really lucky as well.

Both Don and Ashley have overcome huge challenges to become

perfect birthing partners and the hands-on dads they wanted to be.

I definitely didn't feel like a muppet dad,

I'll tell you that for a fact.

It's been an amazing experience, actually.

All dads should definitely do it. Give it a try, I think. Oh!

I think it might be a story to tell her friends. My daddy delivered me.

Now I'm a big kid with an even littler kid.

I've always been a joker, I've always been a bit of a jack-the-lad,

but now I've proven to people that I can be serious when needed.

I probably wouldn't have the confidence to do it really

if I hadn't have done all the training I've done.

I think with this process, I've changed from a boy to a man.

Even though I still look like a boy with my baby face, but, er...

I think I've definitely...definitely become a man.

Four weeks after the birth of son Beau,

Ashley's relishing his new role as a father.

I think you have to sort of like, be a dad to explain what it feels like

cos it's just, it's a great feeling, it's just amazing.

It's just like a brand new book with pages that haven't been written.

I think there's a song, like, "The best things in life are free."

And it's true. It's just, like, you can make something

so beautiful like that out of nothing.

It's unbelievable, it's, like, just great, it's a great feeling.

I think if Ashley hadn't have had the training,

I think he would have panicked a lot.

But I think because he's had this, he kind of knew what was going on,

which kept him calm, which kept me calm.

And Don and Georgia are both still reaping the benefits

of the one-to-one sessions with the midwives.

I never imagined that what he'd learn would actually benefit me

as much as it did.

That's not the poopy face, is it?

You know, he really came from nothing

and not being able to do anything to being able to do

everything for me, so yeah, it's been fantastic.

It's the whole knowledge thing. The more you know,

the more you're comfortable with.

The confidence in knowing you can do it, you know,

sort of, it's just, it's the first step.

That's the first step, the baby needs to be born,

if I can handle that bit,

I'm pretty sure I can handle the rest of it.

Next time, in their quest to be the perfect birthing partner,

will stubborn dad Jamie get the drug-free delivery he's demanding?

I pass seven-pound poos.

So a seven-pound baby can't be that much, can it?

SHE SNORTS

And will squeamish dad-to-be Billy conquer his fear of blood?

If I do see any blood, I might even faint.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd