Jamie and Billy Don't Just Stand There... I'm Having Your Baby

-Pain.

-SHE GROANS

-Labour.

-SHE SCREAMS

-Good girl, well done.

-A newborn baby.

The biggest day for any new mum.

But what about the dads?

One in three men in the UK feel left out of the pregnancy

and sidelined at the birth.

Men do tend to take a back seat.

We're just really there to take the abuse.

But all that's about to change.

This whole pregnancy's happening to me as well, innit?

I'm not pregnant, but I'm, in a sense, going through it.

In this brand-new series, first time dads-to-be will get a crash course

to hopefully become the perfect birthing partners.

Come on, baby. SHE SCREAMS

-I ain't going to know what's going on.

-I don't think I'm prepared at all.

It's such an unknown to me, and that really scares me.

Guided by midwives with years of experience...

-Jesus, it's quite heavy.

-Yeah.

We've not done anything like this before.

Working with the father is going to be really different for us.

..and with each other for moral support...

Thank God you're here.

..these men will get closer to the delivery action

than they could ever have imagined.

He done brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

I've got a tear in my eye now.

Yeah? Have you? Yeah, lovely isn't it?

But when push comes to shove...

Come on, push, push.

Come on, keep it going, babe, keep it going, keep it going.

..will these dads deliver?

It's the hardest thing I've ever done, this.

Tonight, two first-time dads-to-be

in need of some urgent help from the midwives.

In the seaside town of Plymouth...

You feel like a bit like a human pin cushion

when you're pregnant, don't you?

..is daddy disaster number one, Jamie.

I don't want to be in there, while she's taking blood,

cos I don't like needles.

OK? All done.

Unemployed salesman Jamie and hairdresser Jess

have been together for nearly three years.

I saw her in a bikini and just thought, you know,

"I like that, I'm going to have a bit of that"

And now I'm stuck with her.

SHE LAUGHS Yeah.

Now Jess is 32 weeks pregnant with their first child,

a baby boy they've already named Oscar.

Oscar, wakey-wakey time, it's breakfast time.

It's nice to know I'm not firing blanks,

so I can guess you say I'm proud about that.

Come on, baby boy.

He's stubborn.

Just like his father.

Convinced birth will be a breeze...

When Jess is in labour I want to be down here with this big light.

..Jamie wants Jess to stay away from pain relief drugs during labour -

after all, birth's as easy as going to the toilet, isn't it, Jamie?

Come on, boy. I've passed seven-pound poos,

so, you know, a seven-pound baby can't be that much, can it?

-SHE SNORTS DERISIVELY

-Can't be.

'If we was giving birth,'

if it was a man, we'd be told to man up, you know, bit like man flu.

I don't think labour's going to be easy,

no-one's said labour's going to be easy, no amount of people.

-It is.

-It's not.

-It is.

-It's not.

I just think he's being selfish,

he's not thinking at all about me, and he's got to think about me.

My mum knuckled down and got on with it,

no screaming, no epidural, no gas and air, no nothing.

I don't think he realises what a painful process it is,

and obviously he's never going to feel it,

he's never going to, you know, know what it's like.

If it wasn't doable,

then you wouldn't have to give birth that way, would ya?

-Jamie's digging in his heels.

-Cannabis is a drug.

-Yeah, but...

-So you wouldn't do cannabis while you're pregnant.

He's worried about the effect the drugs will have on unborn son Oscar.

Baby would be fine if I was to have drugs,

-they wouldn't do it if it harmed...

-Go and get some crack, then.

'What do you want to have drugs for?'

You stop smoking as soon as you find out you're pregnant,

then you go in labour and you want drugs, what's going on with ya?

Completely at her wit's end, Jess is relying on the midwives

to make Jamie see sense, in just four weeks.

Hopefully the midwife can talk sense into him,

make him have a more understanding of what I'm going through,

his focus is all about Oscar,

but I'm the one that's got to get Oscar into the world.

270 miles away in an Essex cul-de-sac

lives hopeless dad-to-be number two.

Shy bricklayer Billy met his teen sweetheart Grace

when they were at school and he has never looked back.

'We've been together six years now,'

obviously we've got the baby on the way,

so everything's going pukka, I suppose.

While man of the house Billy brings home the bacon...

I've been a brick layer for the last ten years.

..it's wife Grace who rules the roost.

With Grace, she does take charge.

-I could pack myself, but...

-Yeah, but you can't fold.

'She definitely wears the trousers.'

And not only that, she holds the purse strings as well.

Grace, give us a score.

'If I want anything I have to go through Grace.'

Where you going?

If I'm going out for a drink with the lads.

I'm popping out for a pint. 'I have to get pocket money off of her.'

-20 pounds, that's it.

-Ta.

With their baby boy due in just one month,

Grace is worried because she needs under-the-thumb Billy

to man up for the birth.

-You've got to be a man.

-I will be a man.

In there, you've got to tell me what to do, tell me to breathe.

-Ah, I will.

-Tell me to be strong,

"Are you all right?" Oh, no. That would wind me up even more.

He likes to put the front on that he's a macho man,

but if I had to use one word to describe him, it would be...

..soppy.

I'm not looking forward to the birth at all.

And to make matters worse,

daddy disaster number two hasn't got a clue where to start.

With labour itself, I ain't going to be...

I ain't going to know what's going on, basically.

And there's an even bigger problem threatening to overshadow their day.

Billy is squeamish.

If I do see any blood, I'm not going to know what to do.

I might even faint.

If Billy fails to man up and overcome his squeamishness in the next four weeks,

there's every chance this builder will brick it in the delivery room.

It's a big thing, labour, do you know what I mean?

So when you're in that situation I probably will be...

shitting myself.

So one stubborn dad-to-be, the other soppy and squeamish,

have both signed up to a unique challenge.

Ready to transform these lads into superdads in the delivery room

are two teams of experienced midwives.

Whipping Billy into shape at Queens Hospital, Romford

is a team led by Bernie Ahern.

All dads are squeamish to a certain to an extent when they come here,

even those that pretend they're hard.

There's nothing worse than trying to cope

looking after a woman in labour and worrying about a dad

who's about to pass out in the background.

Meanwhile, taking on Jamie at Plymouth's Derriford Hospital

is experienced midwife Clare Southby.

A midwife for eight years,

she's well qualified to make Jamie see sense.

Jamie has very strong opinions about pain relief.

He is really keen that Jessica

doesn't use any methods of pain relief,

I need to understand what it is, and why he objects so much,

and try and help him, hopefully to reassure him.

-H, Clare.

-Hello, Jamie.

Lesson one for Jamie is pain relief.

Thank you. Come over here and have a look at this.

To kick off today's session,

Clare wants to get to the bottom of Jamie's stubborn anti-drugs stance.

What are your feelings about pain relief, Jamie?

I'm OK with the gas and air,

but anything, injections, I don't really like it,

she hasn't drunk or smoked or took drugs during pregnancy

so why inject her body with drugs during labour, the most important time of it?

It's not for recreational purposes, Jamie.

Oh, I know that, but, you know,

I just don't see the point in injecting her with drugs.

So is it a concern for the baby, or...?

-More baby than Jess, you know what I mean?

-Uh huh.

If she wants to inject herself with drugs when she's not pregnant,

and not carrying my child, that's up to her.

Your language is interesting, Jamie,

I don't know if I feel terribly happy with this attitude of,

"I don't want her to have..."

Jamie, it is HER decision, obviously, if Jess needs pain relief.

She's the priority and she will decide to take on those forms of pain relief,

understanding what the relative risks are.

To get Jamie to see sense,

Clare wants to explain the risks and benefits of pain relief drugs,

and how they can help Jess get through the painful ordeal of labour.

With an epidural, this is used for introducing, a very thin tube.

Urgh, it just makes me cringe.

OK, so when the anaesthetist knows that this is in the right place, this will come out.

Inserted into the spine, the epidural injection numbs pain

from the waist down and is chosen by one in three women in labour.

It is an incredible effective form of pain relief if Jess needed one,

and the main risk to the baby

would be is it can cause the baby's heartbeat to drop right down

and that's why we need to monitor the baby continuously.

Doesn't sound nice at all.

Diamorphine is another commonly used injected pain relief drug,

available for Jess.

Diamorphine is a strong form of pain relief,

it won't completely take the pain away.

the way that I describe it is it makes people not care about the pain.

We don't give that sort of pain relief

too close to when the baby's about to be born

because it can make the baby, again, very sleepy and drowsy

and not take those nice breaths and start breathing by itself.

Thank you.

Hearing the facts hasn't altered Jamie's views in the slightest.

I look at the pain relief that women get during labour,

the same as narcotic drugs.

Why? Why would you have that?

To then have the risk of your baby not being able to breathe properly

or being drowsy, like he's on drugs.

I think I was a bit taken aback by his language,

cos it was very much, "I don't want Jessica to have that,"

and my immediate reaction there is, well, it's not up to you,

it's Jessica's right to have whatever pain relief she wants

and you should be respecting that.

It's basically like class A drugs, innit?

Why on earth would anyone want that?

-Giving birth is very painful.

-Can't be that painful.

Think of me, as well, you know?

I am thinking about you, but I'm thinking of him more.

Well, you need to think of me.

Everyone else is thinking about you, before they're thinking about him,

so it's only fair that someone, just maybe one person,

thinks about him before they think about you.

I am that person.

'It upsets me,'

cos he just don't understand anything, so if he thinks he's right

then that's it, there's no two ways about it and it does upset me.

Like, I'm trying to tell him what it's like really,

but he won't listen, and that's the way he'll react

and that's the way he'll stay.

While Jamie continues to say no to drugs,

in Essex, a nervous dad-to-be Billy is about to meet his midwife

and she's got a baptism of fire in store.

I want find out how much Billy knows about childbirth

and to see what he's made of, because at the end of the day

Grace is going to need a strong man by her side.

She's invited some colleagues for a mock antenatal class

and novice dad Billy is going to be the teacher.

-You excited? Nervous?

-Uh, really nervous, yeah.

So it's just in here.

Come in. All right, so this is going to be your classroom.

Come on, don't be shy.

Bernie wants to see for herself, how much he knows about childbirth

and how he copes under pressure.

This is Billy, Billy's going to be a first-time dad very soon,

and Billy's going to, uh,

basically going to teach you some antenatal education.

Out of his comfort zone, Billy's first challenge

is to demonstrate his understanding of labour...

I feel really uncomfortable, um...

..and he's not off to a great start...

Um...I don't know.

..unable to even face his audience.

Um.

Billy, I have some props for you, OK?

You can tell exactly what these are

and then you're going to show us how the baby gets out.

Um, this is the baby.

Um, I would say that is the pelvis, as she'd be laying down.

OK, she might not be lying down, though, Billy.

If she's standing and then obviously once the baby's gone...

gone through... Don't want to go through.

When the baby comes out, you cut the cord - the father, hopefully -

that's the role I'm going to take, in cutting the cord,

and then you have this.

What...

..feeds the baby.

To put Billy out of his misery, Bernie wants him to end the class

by talking about something he does understand.

The gist of what I can get of a contraction is...

I don't actually know how to describe a contraction.

That's when, obviously, it's time to bring Grace in to the hospital, maybe?

At the end of the session, Bernie's worried.

I think Billy's quite quiet, he needs to maybe speak up a bit more.

You can see there's some big holes in his knowledge,

some gaps he needs to fill and hopefully we'll be able to help him.

My first original perception of labour was me going in there,

standing with Grace and the baby coming out and that's it, we go home,

but obviously there's a lot more to take on board

and there's a lot more that goes on during labour

that I need to take on board.

It's a long road ahead for Billy. And in Plymouth...

You men don't experience the pain of labour.

..Jamie isn't showing any signs of progress either.

She can ask for drugs when the baby's in my arms.

She ain't putting nothing bad in my son.

He's still at loggerheads with Jess about pain relief

because of the side effects it might have on unborn son Oscar.

It's his second session with midwife Clare

and she's come up with a different approach to tackle Jamie's strong views.

I think my concern is that I'm wanting to steer him

more towards thinking about the fact that this is about Jessica.

I'm hoping that rather than telling Jamie this,

that he's going to come to understand this himself.

Clare knows it's crucial that Jamie empathises with Jess

during pregnancy and at the birth.

So she's going to hit him with a graphic account

of what Jess will go through to bring Oscar into the world.

-Jesus, it's quite heavy.

-Yeah.

See, that's a realistic term-size baby and weight that...

-Really?

-..Jess is going to be carrying about.

-Crikey, that thing's heavy.

-It's hard work being pregnant, isn't it?

What Clare wants Jamie to realise

is that getting the average seven pound, four ounce baby

out of the tiny entrance to the womb is a painful process.

So what's this bit? Do you know what that is?

I'm not trying to catch you out.

I'm going to say that is downwards, so the opening into the cervix?

That is the cervix, this is the neck of the womb.

I'll show you a bit about the cervix,

seeing as I think it really helps to be able to visualise these things,

so the cervix has got to do a lot of changing.

Imagine this is the neck of the womb.

It's a tube, it's going to be quite firm

and it's going to be closed,

but as that head starts pressing down, it starts opening.

That's the cervix opening that's causing that pain

and not only does it have to get from this, kind of, long tube,

it's also doing this, it's also opening out,

and as it opens out it gets thinner and thinner and thinner.

-This is painful.

-Jesus.

-Yeah.

On average it takes nearly ten hours of pain

for the cervix to stretch to ten centimetres to get the baby out.

So that's the baby's head, this is what we'd call established labour,

sort of around this point,

where the cervix is open about three centimetres.

You don't get this sort of change without the body having to put a huge amount of work in to get to it.

'Once she showed me that stuff with the cervix, I was imagining my ass doing that'

and I can imagine that that's pretty painful, so...

Obviously I don't have a cervix that's closed completely,

seal water-tight shut, so...

It might hurt a bit, yeah.

Changing the views, I think.

Clare's session may have stretched Jamie's imagination,

but whether he'll back down

and allow Jess pain relief at the birth remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, Billy's back for another session with his midwives,

and he's got no idea what's in store for him.

Looking forward to what they've got prepared for me,

um, a bit nervous as well, in case they put me in an awkward situation,

but it's all part of the fun, so we'll see how it gets on.

-Hi, Billy.

-You all right?

-You know what's going to happen?

-No.

-We're going to give you some work experience in the labour ward.

We're going to try and get you more comfortable

with some of the things you'll see on the day when you come in with Grace.

We have some clothes for you to wear.

What do you mean I've got to put some clothes on?

But the new change of clothes does little to reassure Billy.

Yeah, he looks terrified.

Billy, going to come help me clean up?

Today Bernie wants Billy to overcome one of his biggest fears.

-You scared?

-What have I got to clean?

-You'll find out now.

-Dirty utility?

She believes there's a real risk Billy could faint at the birth...

Oh, man.

..unless he confronts his squeamishness.

Urgh!

So she presents Billy with a freshly delivered placenta.

Why does that need cleaning? Surely that just goes in the bin.

Technically it does, Billy, but we need to examine it first.

First Bernie shows Billy the baby's umbilical cord.

-Quite slimy.

-They come in all different sizes.

You have some really, really long ones

and then sometimes you can have some really, really short ones.

And here, come on.

I'm not going to throw it at you, Billy.

-You have three vessels, you have two arteries and a vein.

-Yep.

-You see them?

-Mm-hmm.

-The more Bernie teaches Billy...

I thought it would be thicker than that.

Some of them are, some are really thick, some are really thin.

You can have cords thinner than this,

-you can have really thick cords.

-Really?

-Yep.

..the more interested he gets...

So this side, the shiny side, was the baby,

and it was in its amniotic fluid and it was attached to the cord.

..and the less concerned he seems to be about his fears.

It was getting all its nutrients and oxygen from in here.

Obviously that would be a lot... Would that be a lot bigger?

It's not very tight on the baby, but it doesn't have, like,

luxury space, like a penthouse apartment or anything,

it's literally your basic, like, rugby ball.

But Rome wasn't built in a day.

And then this side.

You want to go stand in the corner, Billy? You feeling OK?

It looks like a lump of steak, really horrible piece of steak.

..though squeamish Billy is doing his best.

Do you want to feel what it actually feels like?

Do I need to?

No you don't need to, just you wanted to conquer your fear.

Urgh.

Feels like one of them stress balls.

-They're your membranes.

-Urgh, don't want to touch that.

-They're just like Clingfilm.

God, it's really thick, isn't it?

Mm-hmm, a lot different than you expected?

Yeah, a lot different, yeah.

And the cord looks totally different to what...

I thought, obviously before you cut the cord you have clamp it,

like you said, and then you put the little clip on

just short of the baby's belly button.

-Yeah.

-And cut it, yeah?

-So, what we can do now, Billy,

is we can practice that, if you wanted.

Would you be up for that?

Um...I suppose practise makes perfect.

You need all that to do one cord?

This is the clamp, all right?

It ain't going to be like, chop, chop, chop?

You might have to chop a couple of times.

Having nearly run out the door at the sight of the placenta...

So without chopping off my finger.

..cutting the cord is a real breakthrough for Billy.

-Yep.

-Yep.

-There we go.

Getting close up to labour and birth may help Billy to man up at delivery

and deal with his squeamish anxiety after all.

I don't think I could ever have cut the cord before,

but actually cutting it there has made me feel a lot more comfortable

with doing it on the day. And now I've seen it and touched it...

I mean Grace, that could even come out of Grace

and she could be like, "Whoa," I'll be like, "That's your placenta.

"Calm down, I've seen one before."

While Billy has faced up to his biggest fear,

Jamie is facing his biggest test so far,

as Jess has gone into labour two weeks before her due date.

Jess's waters have gone today,

so we're staying in the hospital now until the baby's here,

so fingers crossed it's going to be within the next 48 hours.

The midwife sessions have been cut short,

so despite Clare's best efforts, stubborn Jamie still remains

firmly opposed to Jess using pain relief.

At 1am Jess is still in the early stages of labour.

She's one centimetre dilated and her contractions are mild.

He's so excited, bless him.

He's like, "We're going to have him, you're going to have my son!"

Keeps talking to him, like, "Come on, hurry up!"

But we're in for a long ride, I think, though.

It's going to be a long, painful ride.

It's going to be interesting to see how he copes, ha!

Oh...

By 5.30 in the morning it's a different story.

Jess's contractions have been getting longer and stronger...

All right?

..but Jamie has been by her side all night.

So far she's been managing without pain relief,

so everything's going to plan... for Jamie.

So far it's just been let her squeeze my hand and rub her back, basically.

Ow...

We're getting moved to the labour ward at 6am, hopefully.

Best be...

Have some gas and air. I think I need some,

getting sympathy pains and that.

I look like I've been smoking weed, cos I've been up all night.

Deep breaths.

With the birth advancing quickly, they move to the labour ward.

Want to stop for a minute? OK.

Breathe.

Jess's mum has arrived to help.

-Breathe.

-Despite her pain, Jamie puts his unborn son before Jess.

Just think of baby Oscar. Think of Oscar, all right?

Taking one for the team, girl.

-Ow!

-With Jess's pains getting stronger,

Ceri, the midwife on duty, does a routine check.

Slow your breaths, think about breathing in and breathing out.

Remember those breathing exercises, Jamie?

Ow!

Last time, Jess was one centimetre dilated.

-Breathe.

-You're one centimetre, almost two,

but it's still not quite doing what we need it to do yet, OK?

After five painful hours, Jess has dilated one more centimetre.

With eight centimetres to go until she'll be ready to push,

it could be hours until baby Oscar arrives,

and for the first time, Jamie's thinking differently.

'I feel like she looks in enough pain'

to want some sort of pain relief, maybe not an epidural,

but maybe a bit of gas and air or something to take the edge off it,

but she's like, "No,

"I want to see how long I can go without it,"

so fair play to her, I feel quite proud of her at the moment.

I mean, she's trying, so I can't really fault her.

Aww.

It's a pat on the back for Jess, and despite backing down slightly...

..Jamie may realise his dream of a natural, drug-free birth after all.

Over the next few hours,

Jess continues to battle through her contractions.

Not long, baby, it'll all go away.

In pain now for nine hours without an epidural,

Jess is exhausted.

But Jamie is persisting with helping Jess through

with natural pain relief methods.

Nice breaths, you've been practising them at home, haven't ya?

Still hours away from giving birth,

if Jess carries on without an epidural

she might not have the energy to push the baby out.

That's better.

It's very emotional going through all this,

especially when you throw no sleeping, hunger,

and seeing her in pain.

Ten hours have passed since Jess's contractions started

and Jamie's anti-drugs opinions are about to be tested.

How do you feel about waiting for the epidural or having it now?

What's your thoughts on it?

I started crying cos I was so tired earlier,

-I couldn't get comfortable, and...

-Yeah.

It's all right, innit?

I know what you're going through, and the rest.

So your opinion's changed, get the epidural in you?

Witness the first few contractions and how intense they are

and how Jessica's reacting to them and how you react to Jessica.

I'm a bit tired, my opinion might be swayed.

You're exhausted yourself, look at me, going through all the pain.

It's harder having to support you than what it is going through it.

I'd say my views on the class A's, if you like,

were a bit mixed.

I was only thinking about Oscar and not Jess.

Obviously I didn't... I knew it was going to be painful,

I didn't quite understand how much pain she would be in,

and she's not even in established labour yet,

so the pain's going to get, like, ten hundred times worse

than what it is at the minute. And I can see her struggling with it.

The reality has finally hit home.

The once-stubborn Jamie has now caved in.

-I hear you want an epidural.

-Please.

Yeah? Had you thought about epidurals beforehand?

-I more or less swayed her not to have pain relief.

-OK.

Until we were obviously in labour and then I...

We seen the full effect of it and thought, Jeez...

Maybe this isn't as easy as Jamie thought.

I hold my hands up to that one.

Jamie finally agrees for Jess to have an epidural.

-I'm off, in terms of that needle, I'll be no good.

-Right, ready?

See you in a minute, all right?

Worried he'll pass out, needle-phobic Jamie leaves the room.

Fighting back the tears.

It makes you upset seeing someone you love in pain, doesn't it?

Make it easier on her, no more screaming, no more crying,

until baby's here hopefully.

Jess has endured hours of pain, and as the three-inch needle

is inserted into her back, Jamie can barely watch from the door.

< Ow!

SHE SHOUTS WITH PAIN

But hearing Jess in distress,

he remembers his need to be a supportive partner and rushes back into the room.

Ow!

That's good, that's it.

Hold still, don't move for about ten seconds.

It'll be about ten minutes now then things will be quite a lot better.

-Well done.

-Ow.

OK.

Oscar, come on, knock-knock.

Finally a break from the pain,

and the wait until Jess dilates to ten centimetres.

I think I was a bit harsh, a lot, very harsh, on what I said.

I mean, I can understand why Clare wanted to give me a little clip round the ear.

I suppose it's a necessary risk, isn't it?

I mean, this labour's not gone the way we wanted it to go.

Four hours later and Jess is finally ready to push.

I'm a bit, like... OK, you've got one now, deep breath in,

and push in your bum. That's it, you see the head.

He's here. He's here!

So, nice big deep breath, right the way down into your bum,

That's it, keep it going.

-Go on, girl.

-Come on.

That's it. Go on.

That's it, nice big deep breath, that's it, well done.

Come on, well done, That's it, lovely.

-Keep going, that's it, well done. That's it.

-Come on.

-Bit more, bit more, bit more.

-My god, it's almost here.

That's it, well done. Keep going, keep going, keep going.

That's it, a little bit more.

It's been 39 hours since her contractions started,

Jess is exhausted and struggling to push the baby out.

Stuck in the birth canal, the baby could go into distress.

Despite the drama, Jamie continues to support Jess as best he can.

They're setting up the ventouse now, so...

Whatever gets baby out, safest, safest way.

She's just going to put a little cup on baby's head, OK,

so that when you push we pull and we get the baby out

-and help you along with it.

-Jamie needs to keep Jess focussed

while a ventouse suction cap helps pull the baby out quickly.

I'm going to be here, all right?

Just give a little cut when that happens, all right?

Nice, big, deep breath.

Jamie and Jess are about to become parents for the first time.

-Keep going, keep going.

-Do panting, a little pant.

That's it, well done, well done.

He's a big boy! There he is. Jesus Christ, he's huge.

BABY CRIES

Jamie's swallowed his pride about pain relief and stood by Jess

and after a long, difficult labour,

eight pound, nine ounce baby Oscar is born safely.

He's a big boy.

Really big.

-JAMIE LAUGHS

-He didn't feel that one coming.

Yeah, you know it's me, don't you? You know my voice, eh?

Right there. It's quite tough. All right.

I was very pleased in how Jamie changed his priorities

when he realised how serious the situation actually got towards the end

and I think it really, sort of, grounded him a lot more

and he was really good then, it was really cute to see.

There you go, open your eyes.

Good boy.

It's amazing, innit? The best day.

Best day of my life so far.

Big hypocrite, aren't I?

I said it was all about Oscar and, no, she's not having an epidural

and then gets here and it was fuck Oscar, get him away from her,

sort her out, so bit of a hypocrite,

but it was a really amazing experience.

Any dad-to-be should be in the delivery room.

It does get very emotional, but it's all worth it.

Jess and Jamie's early birth is a reminder there's no time to lose.

With a week to go, the midwives in Romford

have stepped up Billy's lessons.

He's been getting in touch with his feminine side.

So, do you know anything about breast feeding?

Uh, no.

Is it too tight?

So for actually to make the milk come you could massage the breasts.

Feel a bit weird having a woman rub my breasts.

He's taught to understand childbirth

by comparing it to what he knows best...

This whole place is your building site,

technically this is your blueprints

and everything we need to know about Grace's pregnancy

has obviously been in here.

Keep a calm head and stay quite level during the whole process.

..and taking the strain of labour.

This is a mild contraction, you're going to contract, ten seconds,

need to breathe and relax.

Cheeks are a little bit red.

So we're going to add on some more weights, you start breathing,

how does that feel?

Um...I think I need to go to hospital!

Three weeks ago Billy was a complete novice with little confidence.

Now teacher's pet Billy wants to show off how much he's learned.

So how you feeling?

I feel fine, no twinges today.

Do you think you'll know when you have proper contractions?

When you was out tonight, I read, I was reading online and they said

you can't mistake it, any stages of labour, cos it's quite strong.

That's what I says to you yesterday.

Did you know you can get painful contractions for two days

-and then the labour could stop?

-Really?

Oh, fun. Say goodnight to the bump. It'll probably be a good idea, Bill.

I ain't saying goodnight to the bump.

-Yeah, give the bump a kiss.

-No, Grace.

-Yeah.

You've made me do funny things, you can...

Grace, at the end of the day, I'm a geezer.

Geezers don't do things like that, yeah?

But you are soppy, you've got to show your soppy side.

I'll give you a kiss on the cheek.

With the birth round the corner, Billy's final preparation

is a date with new dad Jamie.

This is Billy's final session before his son is born

and it's his last chance to get some hands-on experience.

Hiya, mate. How you doing.

-I'm Jamie.

-Bill. How you doing, mate?

-This little fella, this is Oscar.

-All right, mate?

So you had much experience with babies then, Bill? Billy?

Uh, I've never had to look after a baby

and this is a whole new experience for me, so...

We can give you a little test today, crash course in baby looking-after.

Billy's never cared for a newborn baby

and Jamie's keen to throw him in at the deep end.

-Have a feel of it.

-For real?

Yeah, man, have him, take him home.

-Rock him.

-Rock him?

Honestly, he likes it, he likes it rough.

-Does he really?

-Yeah.

There you go. Sorted.

The farm runs a music workshop which is a hit with parents and babies alike,

-so this should be a walk in the park for learner dad Billy.

-All right?

Righty-ho, good morning, everybody. Give us a wave.

Most of the kids are having a ball,

but in nervous Billy's arms baby Oscar isn't responding well.

To be honest, I was really uncomfortable.

I weren't too sure what to do.

Billy just, sort of, froze up

and babies can feel the tense and the uncertainty,

they need to feel trustworthy, don't they?

Uncertain Billy tries everything but can't stop Oscar's tears,

and dad Jamie has to step in a second time.

Obviously I was uncomfortable with Oscar

cos he was crying and I couldn't settle him,

so I was a little bit nervous.

I think we've scarred Billy for life now,

he's never going to pick his son up for fear of uncontrollable crying.

Good practice, though.

With the music workshop not going quite to plan,

Billy's keen to get some tips from Jamie

after his first-hand experience of child birth.

Right, so what do you want to know, then?

After his success with the placenta,

Billy believes he's getting over his fear of blood,

but this is something Jamie's keen to discuss.

-Are you squeamish?

-Yeah.

Ah, you're going to have fun.

I've seen a placenta now, and I've got over it,

after seeing that on the table and just...

Yeah, but you've only seen it on the table,

you haven't seen it when it comes out

with all the blood and gore and disgustingness...

That they basically put a bin, if you like,

with a big plastic bag underneath Jess.

The baby come out and...

Yeah, it was a load of...

Till I met the midwife I thought, like, literally,

what's the big deal with labour?

you go into a room, she has the baby, we go home.

I never realised how much was involved in labour, do you know what I mean?

Since I've met the midwives and that,

it has made me feel a bit more confident in myself

and I know a lot more about labour now,

so I think, like, I know a little bit more.

When the midwives are there, I know the things they're checking

they have to monitor things or their tummy, their contractions.

I know a bit more about that,

so I think Grace feels a bit more comfortable as well.

We're just counting the hours now.

This is the longest part.

Despite his confidence, the chat with Jamie has unnerved Billy.

With only days to go till the due date,

he's worried again at how he'll cope at the birth.

Obviously when I spoke to the midwives about labour

I saw the positive things, I mean,

they make it sound like we're just going to go in,

I'm going to comfort Grace and the baby's going to be delivered,

when obviously I've seen the placenta,

but seeing it come out of Grace, obviously, who I love, might be a bit more...

Obviously it's going to hit home a lot more.

I don't think it's going to help him at all being squeamish.

When he sees what's coming out of his lady...

..he might pass out.

The time has come to find out what Billy's made of.

It's 11pm and he's brought fiancee Grace to the hospital,

because she's been having regular contractions.

Since about four o'clock, they've been between...

There was ten minutes, for about 30 seconds,

then they've gone from four to five, between 50 and 60 seconds.

Grace has been contracting all day,

we don't really know if it's labour contractions

or if it's just the beginning of something.

Either she's going to be here for the night,

cos her blood pressure's quite high...

We just need to make a plan for her, really.

Squeamish bricklayer Billy has spent the past few weeks

swotting up and manning up to be a dab hand in the labour room.

-Urgh!

-He's confronted his worst fears...

Practise makes perfect.

..and is determined to prove that his soppiness and his squeamishness

won't stop him being the perfect birthing partner.

Grace is only two centimetres dilated,

but there's concern as her blood pressure is abnormally high.

If it remains high, both Grace and the baby's health may be at risk.

Well, you look, kind of, OK. Kind of.

-Don't feel it.

-Yeah.

Midwife Anna takes Billy aside to put him in the picture.

Because her blood pressure is so high,

they might not want her to go home and continue with this.

Might want to keep her in?

They might want to say, "Let's induce instead,"

and induction in this case means breaking the membranes.

Grace's mum arrives to offer her support

and gets the low-down from Billy.

Anna just monitored her contractions and they seem inconsistent,

so they're just going to monitor her heart rate.

They're going to keep her in for now just to monitor her blood pressure,

do her bloods, they're going to go from there.

-Is she all right?

-Yeah.

Grace is moved into a birthing room so she can be properly monitored.

Finally his time has come,

and he's got the added stress of Grace's rising blood pressure.

You ought to get into this habit of breathing, Grace.

Billy's first job is to help Grace through the contraction pain.

Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, deep breaths.

Does help, actually.

While I've been gone, how many contractions have you had?

Um, I don't know, about three, I think.

I think the best thing for you right now is to mobilise,

walk around in the room, maybe take a shower,

we need to get these contractions...

-Going?

-Yeah.

Eager beaver Billy's brimming with enthusiasm,

but keen to put his new skills into practise,

he's yet to learn when to keep quiet.

When you get a contraction, just...

Yeah, I'm having one now, Bill, shush.

Want me to massage your back?

-In through your nose, out through your mouth.

-Shut up.

Give her an epidural, though, you've got to stay in for 24 hours.

Oh, Bill... Oh, shut up.

-What if her blood pressure's lower down?

-Bill, can you just shush.

Stop asking those questions, let them do their job.

They getting stronger?

Billy's trying to take control,

but the pain Grace is in has reduced her tolerance levels,

so his challenge is to help her manage the pain

and take the insults on the chin.

-Grace...

-Piss off, Bill.

-Yeah, but your elbow's properly...

-Well, move then.

Mind my hands.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

I don't know where you got this aggression from.

Grace's blood pressure is about to be measured,

with everyone hoping it's gone down,

something Billy's able to help with

under the watchful eye of the midwife.

-So there, yeah?

-Yep.

-Does it have to be really tight?

Hmm, like that, yep.

Thanks, doc.

No worries, I'm a midwife, not a doctor.

-Is it still high?

-Yeah, so...

-It's gone up, innit?

-It's gone up?

The top's gone down and the bottom's gone up.

If the blood pressure continues to be raised,

then we might need to start you on a regular medication,

but we'll give you a first lot, see how the blood pressure responds.

Have you thought about pain relief?

I'm just going to see how long I can bear it for, yeah.

OK, so if you did want an epidural at any point,

sometimes it can help with the blood pressure.

If you don't want an epidural, that's fine.

We can manage the blood pressure.

Obviously I'm a bit concerned about her high blood pressure.

Hopefully at three o' clock we'll have a rough idea

of what's going on with her, her body,

and we'll know what's going on.

Grace's cervix needs to be four centimetres dilated

before she's in established labour,

but since she came in, she's remained at two centimetres.

because of her high blood pressure, the doctors want a quick delivery,

so Billy's keen to see some progress.

Four I'll be happy with. I'm hoping. Would that be good?

Well, that'll be enough and then I won't have to do anything.

We'll just let nature take its time.

But the news isn't good.

You're still about two centimetres.

To move things on, Anna decides to break Grace's waters.

Make an attempt, see if I can break it.

-Ooh.

-Good girl, well done. There you are, it's all done.

-Well done, Grace.

-Well done, good girl.

And to further speed up labour, Grace is given a hormone drip,

which will bring on stronger contractions.

Let's start the drip.

And it's not long before Billy sees it take effect.

-The sooner that baby...

-Good girl. Well done.

-Just keep breathing, bubba.

-Grace.

-Breathe.

-I can't.

You can do this, come on, breathe.

-I can't.

-You can.

Come on, bubba.

Right, Grace, breathe.

As the contractions get stronger the pain is too much for Grace to bear.

Billy's support is now more important than ever.

I never thought it'd be this painful.

If the pain is too much, we'll call the doctors to come

and give you an epidural, if that's what you want.

-Do you want it?

-It is really hurting.

OK, OK.

Do you want a massage, bubba?

-Just keep breathing, bub.

-Oh...

Four weeks ago, Billy would never have even been in the room.

But now his squeamishness is going to be put to the test.

Oh, my God.

Good girl.

Grace is having an epidural, which involves a three-inch needle.

Let me know when you have a contraction, all right?

It's a difficult procedure, which doesn't always work first time.

Ooh.

Breathe, bubba.

And locating the precise point can be very tricky.

I can't stand this no more.

Once the epidural's done, you'll be all right.

Billy is trying to support Grace

as well as battle through his own fears.

Until the epidural goes in, Grace is having to endure

the accelerated stronger contractions with no pain relief.

God, I can't bear this no more. Oh...

I'm getting stabbing pains in my belly.

Oh, it's not fine, I'm in pain, oh...

As the difficulties continue,

Billy has to watch her become even more distressed.

But for her mum, seeing Grace in so much pain is too much.

GRACE GROANS

I just find it hard seeing her in pain.

I think he's doing excellent.

Better than me.

Back in the room, Billy's hanging in there.

Argh! I'm getting tingling all down my sides.

Argh, and again.

Oh, I just need this epidural now.

An hour after the procedure started,

they're no closer to giving Grace the pain relief she's craving.

Argh, I just want to be out of pain, now.

Faced with a screaming Grace and a three-inch needle,

squeamish Billy must stay strong.

Can't I just have a C-section right now?

Oh, my god.

I'm in so much pain now my legs are trembling.

To give the anaesthetist a better chance,

Grace is moved into a different position

and a bigger five-inch needle is used.

My waters are going, I need something.

Don't worry about it for the minute.

Grace is now desperate, and with Billy still supporting her,

it's time for one last try.

Want me to hold that up for ya?

Yeah, that'll be great, thanks.

You might feel some tingling in your legs, that's normal,

just let me know.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-The needle is out at the back, OK?

-Is it working fine now, then?

It's in place and it felt good, everything else looks good.

The epidural catheter is finally in place, the needle is removed

and Grace's pain relief is working.

And things are suddenly heading in the right direction.

-You all right, Bill?

-She's had...

In ten minutes she's nine centimetres dilated.

-No way!

-Yeah. There's a bit of cervix in the way.

-She said she wanted to push.

-All they've got to do now before they do anything,

they've had to put the thing on the baby's head

just to monitor his heart rate so...

-Billy, I'm so sorry.

-Don't worry about it now.

It's all right, don't cry.

-Don't worry about it.

-I haven't been very good support for you, have I?

Don't worry about it.

After fears he wouldn't be able to stay in the room,

Billy's now holding it together for everyone.

I can't let myself cry in front of her cos it'll make her upset

so I've just had to, sort of, man up

and throw my emotions, put them to the side

and just do what I need to do for Grace.

At daybreak, the midwives change shift.

Hello, morning. Hello.

Billy, how have you been getting on?

Um, I don't know. I think I've been doing OK.

Let me answer, Billy's been doing great.

And by 10am, after 11 hours of labour, Grace is ready to push.

Get ready for some big pushes, yeah?

-I'll push you in a minute.

-OK.

-Right, let's go for it.

-Big long push, Grace.

The doctors are still concerned about her high blood pressure,

so she's been given an hour to push the baby out naturally.

beyond that they could decide to intervene

and give her an assisted birth.

It's time for Billy to be the man that Grace needs.

-Push it, push it.

-Keep it going, keep it going, keep going.

Come on, keep pushing. Push as hard as you can, keep your chin in.

-That's it, bit longer, longer.

-Longer keep going, keep going.

-Longer, longer, longer.

-Keep going, keep going.

Come on, bubba. Try and concentrate for the next contraction,

the biggest, hardest push you've got. Chin in.

Come on, this is it now, this is the one.

-Push it as hard as you can.

-I'm trying, Billy.

I know you're trying, but...

try harder. I'm joking. You're doing really well.

Come on, that's it, that's it - keep going.

That's it, fantastic, don't let that back.

Come on, keep it going, babe.

Try and get one more deep breath and go again.

Come on, come on, bub. Yes, that's it, come on.

-Come on, Grace, keep it going.

-Keep it going.

Yep, quickly let that one go, take a deep breath

and put chin in chest and push again, good girl.

So with the next one we're really going to go for it,

cos if we can get to see this baby's head.

Give it everything you've got. Come on, push.

That's it, come on, keep it going.

Push. Oh, my god, I can see it. Grace, I can see the head.

Push, come on. Oh, come on.

He's coming, he's coming, push, push, push.

As soon as his head's out, that's it, we're home, dry.

With an exhausted Grace struggling...

Come on, just save all that energy for the next big push.

-..Billy's got to be her rock.

-Come on, don't stop, don't stop.

Little big longer, Grace.

Keep it going, babe, keep it going, he's there, Grace.

He's right out, now, come on.

Keep going, babe, Come on, everything you've got.

You've got him to crown.

Come on, Grace, I can see him. I've had a look as well.

-Come on, babe. Give it some welly.

-Everything you've got.

-Ah, I can't.

-You can, you can. Come on, he's out, he's out.

Come on, babe, his head, his head!

Into your chest for one last push, darling.

MOTHER SCREAMS WITH DELIGHT

Oh! Oh, my god!

He's not crying, though.

He is, he's got his eyes open! He is!

Oh, my god, his eyes are open.

BABY CRIES

Proud new father Billy doesn't hesitate to cut the umbilical cord.

Billy and Grace are now parents of seven pound, four ounce baby Ralph.

Billy manned up and was the crutch that Grace needed.

I can't believe he's out. I can't believe.

Congratulations, Mummy and Daddy!

Me and Grace have just had our first baby, a little boy.

I can't describe the feelings, the emotions I'm going through right now.

I thought I was going to be squeamish

and when Bernie said that I can put my hands on her

when she pushed and he came out, I couldn't believe it,

I mean I cut his cord, which I'm really happy about.

I don't think I'll ever get that feeling back in my entire life.

I mean, that was the best feeling, experience of my life ever.

-Two weeks on...

-What's the matter?

-..and Billy's a changed man.

-Getting the hump?

I wouldn't say I was immature before, but I've definitely matured a lot.

It's a big, it's a massive step up in life to have a child.

The dynamics of our relationship have definitely changed

since the baby's been here.

I wanted him to man up, and he's took control.

He's managed everything, so he's done me proud, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it was the best experience of my life.

I'm never, ever going to experience that again.

I think about it all the time.

I tell everyone that I've delivered a baby.

Don't I?

And since the birth of his son Oscar,

new dad Jamie isn't so stubborn anymore.

Yeah, I give Jess more of the benefit of a doubt nowadays.

I'm open to negotiations.

Oh, yeah, he listens to me a lot more now.

Considering he's a very opinionated person,

now he's changed since I've had Oscar.

It's what I say goes really, I think.

Labour was quite traumatic, but beautiful at the same time,

I wouldn't change Oscar for the world,

it's the best thing that could happen to anyone.

Next time in their attempts to be perfect dads in the delivery room...

I'm hoping it's going to be a faint and not be sick as well.

..will squeamish joker Brett put his foot in it when it matters most?

She's bloody cleaning it, I'm not touching it.

And will text-obsessed Jordan

hang up the phone and engage in the delivery?

-You talkin' to me?

-You're being an idiot.

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