Best Ever Don't Tell the Bride

For the very first time, thousands of avid Don't Tell The Bride fans

have been voting online for their favourite episode ever.

This programme contains strong language

Shut up!

I have my husband!

Over the past five series,

we've given more than £500,000 to 50 grooms...

12 Gs, man.

..to plan the most important day of their loved ones' lives.

Whatever I pick is going to be wrong.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Shoes! Always about the bloody shoes!

Some got away with it...

That's beautiful.

-SHE GASPS

-Oh, my...!

And others were lucky to escape with their lives...

Get me on the phone, I'll tell him what a bitch is.

The whole day has been ruined.

You can literally see my pubes.

Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?!

So get ready for a rollercoaster ride

through your top ten favourites.

This is hell on earth.

So far on Don't Tell The Bride,

the grooms have made all the choices, but now it's your turn.

From a shortlist of 20 episodes,

we asked you to vote online for your all-time favourite.

Thousands of you voted -

you blogged, you tweeted,

you rowed with your loved ones.

But which one is at number one?

Could it be sci-fi Charlie?

-High-five, Primo.

-Thank you.

Nick and Laila's WAG-style wedding?

Oh, my God!

It's Jordan's carriage!

Or maybe Simon, who took a gamble in Vegas?

You've ripped the whole family apart, Simon.

This is your show.

So grab some confetti and maybe something to throw at the screen.

We're about to find out who's made it into the top ten

and which episode you voted the best Don't Tell The Bride in history.

Don't Tell The Bride pretty much proves

that planning a wedding isn't easy. If you've ever doubted that

then just take a look at the number of grooms who've had meltdowns

which at last count was roughly most of them.

One of these emotional wrecks is your number ten.

It's 22-year-old Luke who is by far the youngest...

and weepiest groom we've ever had.

Luke and Alex met and fell in love on the party island of Ibiza.

My wife is London and my mistress is Ibiza.

So what better place to get married?

People go to Ibiza to get away from things rather than

to go and find someone they're going to marry.

It's really important for me to get married in Ibiza.

It's something that I've always wanted to do.

It's something we should do. That's where we fell in love.

But there's a problem in paradise.

Unless you live in Spain or are a Catholic,

you can't actually get married there.

Luke's solution?

A civil ceremony in the UK followed by a blessing in Ibiza.

Sounds simple, but it could all end in tears.

Best man Jay is helping Luke out with the logistics.

Venue, registry office.

Short, sweet, simple.

Witnesses. In, out.

Are we having a party at all?

No. No party.

Right. So that's the England list done.

I think we deserve a drink for that. Tough work.

So it's a quickie London marriage before Luke flies straight back

to Ibiza to prepare for the blessing.

I'm not going to spend my wedding night with my wife.

It's all right, you can spend it with me.

What?! So Alex is going to be left at the altar?

There's definitely going to be tears.

The big wedding is Ibiza.

That's when we're really, really going to get married.

This is Don't Tell The Bride's most convoluted wedding EVER.

Ibiza, baby! We're back home.

THEY CHEER

With 12 grand in his pocket, it was party time for Luke and Jay.

Or so they thought.

Where is he? I need to get him. We need to stay together.

-We're supposed to be in this together.

-Look at you!

Look how tense you are. Turn into a normal person.

Turn back into the person you are and I'll speak to you.

The morning after brought Luke a hideous realisation.

LUKE SOBS

I've got this opportunity to plan a wedding for myself

and I can't even do it.

What do you know about planning weddings?

You know nothing about planning weddings.

We're going to do the best we can.

After gallons of Balearic blubbing, Luke's complicated wedding plans...

This is unbelievable.

..meant flying back to the UK

to give Alex the registry office ceremony she didn't want,

just to get the legal bit out of the way.

It now gives me very great pleasure

to pronounce you both husband and wife.

Congratulations. And, Luke, you may now kiss your bride.

And he became the only man in the history of Don't Tell The Bride

to arrange to leave his wife straight after marrying her.

-WHISPERS: We've got to go.

-I'm not going now.

-We've got to go now.

All right. I just need to talk to her. Just give me a second.

Luke simply hadn't thought through the emotional impact

of his crazy scheduling.

-It's not over. I've got to go.

-Why?

-Just trust me.

-What?!

-We've only just got married and you're leaving me?!

-I've got to go.

-I don't understand.

-You're not supposed to.

I know it's hard but it's what you had to do. The bigger picture.

-Do you not know what we're supposed to be doing?

-No. I've got no idea.

-We're at a loose end.

-This is the strangest wedding.

I've basically spent my wedding day coming to an airport.

When in doubt, get down the pub.

I was standing there and I didn't know what was going on.

There were no instructions of what to do.

I didn't think my reception would be in here.

But for a groom who was out of his depth,

Luke finally came good with a romantic blessing

as the sun set in Ibiza.

I can't believe you're making me do this again!

These last three weeks

have probably been the hardest three weeks of my life.

CHEERING

I think it's worked out well.

She's happy. As long as she's happy...

That was the main objective out of it all,

to make sure that Alex was happy.

# The sun goes down

# The stars come out

# And all that counts is here and now... #

Luke there finally realising that weddings

usually ARE all about the bride.

You know what, nothing warms the heart like seeing a happy couple

spend some precious time together,

as if the rest of the world barely existed.

Yep, you cannot beat that special bond between the groom...

and his best man.

Awww. You all right, mate?

Your number nine is the most full-on bromance in the history

of Don't Tell The Bride. It's Ryan and Matt...

Fern.

It all started when best man Matt bunked up

in Ryan and Fern's one-bed caravan

for three weeks of wedding planning bliss.

I honestly don't think there'll be a lot of difference between

living with Matt and living with Fern because Matt is like a woman.

'He thinks it's as equal his wedding as our wedding.'

All right, son.

-How's it doing?

-Not bad, mate.

When Ryan and Matt get together, they do become like kids

and it does become all about them.

But they do need to remember that this is my big day

that I've been dreaming of since I was a little girl.

So they need to get it perfect.

These boys have known each other since they were five years old.

They certainly have a chemistry between them.

But was it friendship or pheromones?

We should be able to try out the hotel, do you not think?

Me and the bride-to-be.

It hurts your back, doesn't it?

If me and Fern don't get married here, I think me and you should.

I am actually really missing him

cos it's bad, no contact. It's just no contact.

THEY LAUGH

SHE SNIFFS

-That's the least of your worries, Fern.

-You may kiss the bride.

LAUGHTER

-What do you think?

-You look really nice.

-Do I? Do I really?

-Cos I imagined I do.

-I like what you've going on.

-Real pretty.

-Chuck your bouquet then.

THEY ALL CHEER

They do make a lovely couple, I have to say.

A couple of what, I can't tell you!

Bye!

Did someone say "bender"? Exactly.

Three days in Prague for Ryan's stag do.

# We're all on his stag do, La-la-la-la, hey! #

It's all about us now. Forget about the birds.

Determined to keep the memories of their final fling together alive,

the boys decide to treat themselves...

Do you want my pants off, then?

..to something a bit more lasting than a T-shirt...

..his and hers love hearts?

Erm, not quite.

I'll remember this weekend for the rest of my life.

Here.

THEY LAUGH

I love him to bits. He loves me to bits. Fern likes me.

I wouldn't go as far as loves me.

But I don't think Fern would ever stop him seeing me. No way.

And he'll always want to see me. But this is his time, isn't it?

I've got to let him go.

I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

APPLAUSE

Even after she said, "I do,"

Fern knew there'd always be three of them in this relationship.

You know when you go to bed tomorrow night and I'm in t'middle of you?

You're not moving in. Don't get too excited.

I'll just be at t'window. "No! Please!"

I'm not going to go anywhere for a long period of time ever again

because, God, he has totally moved in and took my place.

I mean, for God's sake - he even took my bed!

I woke up a couple of times, he were cuddling me.

-Did you prefer his company to mine?

-No, he's too hairy.

-There were ups, there were downs.

-There were laughter.

Done.

But not all brides get the wedding of their dreams.

Take Steven and Kayleigh.

He came up with the nightmare idea of basing the entire wedding

around his favourite rollercoaster ride at Thorpe Park.

This turned the most important day of his bride's life

into a full-on horror show.

At number eight, it's Steven and Kayleigh's wedding from hell.

MUSIC: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson

Steve's a sentimental soul at heart

with fond memories of his first date with Kayleigh at the amusement park.

SCREAMS

-We were going on this ride. What was it? Stealth.

-Oh, God.

Then the ride broke down.

-It did.

-And Kayleigh's not very good on rides anyway.

-No.

We had to stand there and talk. Everything about her, I fell for.

So he's got the perfect way to whisk her off her feet.

Hopefully she'll like this.

Would naive Steve turn the love of his life's wedding day

into a full-on freakin' horror show?

It's the big day and she's about to find out.

I want to go and get married NOW.

Er, you might want to put it off for a bit, Kayleigh.

I would never pick black for a bridesmaid's dress.

I just think you can wear black on a day-to-day basis,

on a night out, to a funeral.

THUNDER

It is going to rain.

-So pretty.

-Awww.

-Oh, so pretty.

-How do I look?

-Absolutely beautiful.

-You look like a princess.

Steve's accidental funeral theme continued.

Request from Steve. I have to put a blindfold on you.

-Mind my make-up, please.

-I will.

Please. I've spent so long doing my eyes.

Is it like a funfair?

I can hear music and I swear I just heard something to do with a clown.

Has he taken me to a funfair before the bloody wedding?

Do I look in the mood for a funfair?

-We're at Thorpe Park.

-Why Thorpe Park?

-Cos Steve's a

-BLEEP.

Mum!

Why haven't you controlled this?

Why am I at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?

I'm scared.

I don't want to open my eyes.

Why has he done this?!

Rrgh! No. Why has he told me to do this in my wedding dress?

-I think it's just as stupid.

-I just don't understand.

No, I don't want to do this.

I'm sorry. No. No. I'm not doing it. No.

I just want to go.

-So we've done all of this for no reason whatsoever. What a

-BLEEP.

-And with that, Kayleigh makes a fast getaway...

-Babe, let's just roll.

..in her golf cart.

I am starting to feel sick.

But there were more horrors in store at the wedding.

What are you wearing?

LAUGHTER

-What are you all wearing?

-What's wrong with it?!

Steven, do you take Kayleigh to be your wife?

I do.

So I am very happy to tell you,

you are now husband and wife.

Congratulations to you both.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Now they're married,

can Steve turn Kayleigh into the bride of Frankenstein?

Ladies and gentlemen, Steve and Kayleigh are going to make a move.

-Where to?

-You'll find out.

We're going back to Thorpe Park? Why?!

Babe, this is such a stupid idea.

Oh, my God.

I thought the few hours before the meal,

everyone could go and have fun. It's special.

I know it's a special place, babe, but we can come here any time.

Look, I'm so sorry.

-My heel's broken. No!

-I'll get it fixed.

-SOBS:

-I just want to go.

I just want to go.

I probably made the wrong choice coming here.

I didn't think about Kayleigh's big dress.

I didn't think her shoes were going to break that easily.

So I'm a bit annoyed that I've upset my wife on our wedding day.

With order restored, stuff-it-up Steve

makes the best move of his life.

'I'm very much looking forward to Kayleigh making all the decisions.'

-It's just easier because you don't like it.

-Definitely.

You can make all the decisions. I don't mind.

-See, so nothing will change?

-That's fine by me.

-Job's a good 'un.

We're getting closer

to your all-time favourite episode of Don't Tell The Bride

and still have some brilliant stuff to show you.

-Mel doesn't even like the water.

-Tough crap.

It's my wedding as well and I like the water.

So we're having it there, all right?

We ain't bingo mums. We don't want to play bingo. He knows that.

Every wedding anniversary, he'll be making up for this crap.

No, no. She can't get it altered. I've got no money left.

But you have to because basically it's just falling off.

Take her to McDonald's. Fill her out a bit.

On Don't Tell The Bride, every guy ultimately wants their lady

to feel special on their big day.

Voted in a number seven and one of my absolute favourites,

it's Nick and Laila's celebrity-style wedding,

an episode so full of ridiculous comedy gold

it was like watching some kind of wedding-based rom-com.

Once upon a time,

there was a girl named Laila who dreamed of growing up to be...

I'd love a celebrity wedding.

..the Preston Princess.

It's my day and I do want it to be perfect.

Her handsome prince Nick was ready to move heaven and earth for her...

..with his trusty aide, Steve, by his side.

-We're slackers really, aren't we?

-Social loafers.

Nick was determined to do things right for once.

She just sees me as some joker.

I just want to show her that I love her and she can trust me

with a bit of responsibility from time to time.

We want a theme, don't we?

Hollywood theme. No, we can't go dressed as Terminators!

He's still a bit of a boy.

Yeah!

But could they pull off Laila's dream wedding

when everything's stacked against them?

Have you got the fax number?

WHIRRING ON PHONE

Yeah, sounds like it. Well done, Nick.

Time was against them...

-When were you hoping to get married?

-Erm, three weeks today.

-What?!

-Money was against them...

-That's lovely.

-How much is it?

-It's £1,720.

Get back in and get it off.

The bridesmaids were against them...

He just kind of left us to the last minute and put us in cerise pink.

I'd say it isn't going to clash.

SHRIEKING

Women are just awkward people in general.

Even God was against them...

Have a plan of what to say to the bishop,

so we don't make a mess of it.

Could I speak to Bishop O'Donoghue, please? Hello. Are you OK?

Battery's just gone.

Hello, Bishop. The battery on my mobile phone went unfortunately

so I'm sorry about that.

We're both devout Catholics and I think we need a blessing from God.

# Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

# Hallelujah

# Hallelujah, hallelujah... #

That's great, Father. Thanks again. Cheers.

-So we're on for the church wedding.

-We're on!

-Sweet as a nut.

But their biggest battle was with themselves.

I was thinking something showing a bit of leg at the front.

OK. I've seen thousands of brides now

and I've not found one that's wanted what you're describing.

She might be the kind of girl... How do I put this?

The kind of girl that likes to go out and will wear clothes

that will show her figure and things.

But on her wedding day, it's her one chance to be...

not necessarily demure, but a little bit less...

# Body movin', body movin'... #

-Do you see what I mean?

-Yeah, that's a good point.

But then one day, everything began to go right.

Right, you can look.

Oh, my God! It's so princessy, isn't it?

Ah!

I am really shocked that I like it.

GASPS OF ADMIRATION

I'm getting married. Actually, this is the moment that it's sunk in.

DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, my God! You won't believe what he's got for me!

Oh, my God!

It's Jordan's carriage!

Oh, my God!

I can't believe he's done something like this for me.

Oh!

It's my church what I wanted!

Oh! Oh, my God!

Nicholas Paul Miller, will you take Laila Nadine Frances Walsh,

here present, for your lawful wife,

according to the rite of our holy mother, the Church?

-I do.

-(I will.)

-I will.

THEY LAUGH

You may now kiss the bride.

# I thought love was only true in fairy tales... #

-Don't let go!

-She only weighs 15 stone. Let me through!

This is a real... I'm an ordinary girl from Preston!

# Cos we all just wanna be big rock stars

# And live in hilltop houses Driving 15 cars

# The girls come easy... #

Woo!

But honestly, you've been a hard crowd to please

and I'm a man of very little effort,

so it's been very difficult.

So it gives me great pleasure to raise my glass

for the most important people here today...

and that's the bar staff.

THEY CHEER

I feel like a celebrity.

-You are a celebrity. You're MY celebrity.

-Ahh!

# Love was out to get me... #

Some people can wind their partner up without even trying.

So, what would happen if one day, they, like, really tried?

Take dithering Darnell and his missus Katie,

whose show you voted your sixth favourite.

We'd like to honour Darnell with a Don't Tell The Bride award

for organising the lamest hen do ever.

Hymn 88, two fat ladies.

House!

I am very excited about the hen night.

I'm feeling evil, mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

For the unsuspecting girls, it all started so well.

I love it. I love it!

Your taxi's here.

THEY LAUGH

He's a bastard, I love him.

I'm so happy. I can't explain in words. I was just expecting a taxi.

He's done really, really well.

And this is just the hen do.

I love it. I think it's amazing. I feel like a celebrity!

They'll get all gladded up and be wondering where they're going.

You'll never guess where I'm sending them.

Has he sent me bingo, really?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

I don't want to go bingo. I'm going out to get drunk.

Bingo. All the girls are, like, silent.

I'm going to get, "No, Darnell's not serious.

"No way, nah, he's not serious!"

'That's what I'm going to be getting.

'My ears are going to start burning.

Typical Darnell.

Eight and one, 81.

Seven and three, 73.

Seven and two, 72.

Three and seven, 37.

We ain't bingo mums. We don't want to sit down and play bingo.

He knows that. And that's why he's done it, so thank you.

If my old man to be sent me here for a hen night, I'd lynch the bugger.

And I wouldn't marry him.

At Darnell's stag do, it was more "blingo" than bingo.

Tonight, the plan is a secret.

'Usually, a woman strips for the guy on a stag night,

'so we're going to go the opposite way.'

I'm going to get Darnell to do a striptease for a hen party. Live!

-DJ:

-All the crowd here, and the ladies,

would like you to do a strip on the stage, please.

THEY SCREAM

MUSIC PLAYS

Eight and one, 81. Seven and two, 72.

Yellow 37. Red 19.

'To be honest, I don't think Katie's very impressed.'

Every wedding anniversary's going to be making up for this crap.

The pink Hummer and the champagne, fabulous,

but it's just like bringing someone up,

then kind of kicking them off the top of the Hilton.

Literally.

And, while the girls were checking their scores,

Darnell was dropping his drawers.

Hum-a-na, hum-a-na!

BINGO CALLER DRONES

The best episodes of Don't Tell The Bride, as voted by you,

have been whittled down into a top ten.

But which is your favourite show ever?

That's still to come.

Now, like me, you love the ones when opposites attract.

So, at your number five,

it's fisherman Harry and fitness fanatic Mel's show.

He was salty, she was...sweaty.

Hmm. Salty and sweaty -

they're either destined to be a couple or a new flavour of crisps.

I realised Mellissa was the one

the first time we got together in the bedroom.

Down, boy!

And, to keep her saucy bloke interested,

Mel worked out six nights a week.

When Harry's not at it with Mel,

he's on the job with the other love of his life.

I just love the nice views

and being out here with the birds and the dolphins.

'When Harry comes home smelling of fish,

'normally I say, "Can you strip off at the front door?"'

Mwah! You stink.

I don't like the smell of fish or whelks or fish guts

or dead crabs or dead dogfish that stinks.

Ah, ha-ha!

Even though I've grown up by the sea,

I've always been pretty frightened of it.

Bad news for Harry,

who revealed his planned nautical nuptials to his family.

Me and Mel are going to get on a boat, OK?

And then sail right round into Tenby Harbour

and that's where we're having our reception and all, right?

I thought you wanted people to come to the wedding!

Shut up, Mum, they'll come! Don't you like the idea?

Mel doesn't even like the water!

Tough crap! It's my wedding as well and I like the water.

So we're having it there, right?

But Mel had her own plans... on dry land.

Look at the view.

The beach, all the fields.

-It'd be amazing to get married here.

-I've been to many a wedding here.

-Yeah.

-Absolutely fantastic.

Me knowing Harry - he knows I love this church.

I think he'll choose this.

But, for Harry, if it's not fishy, he's throwing it back.

St Julian's Fishermen's Church.

Whoa, cool!

-Oh, it's wicked, look at that!

-Looks well good, doesn't it?

-I love this church.

-Yeah.

-It's nice, isn't it?

THEY HUM "The Bridal Chorus"

THEY HUM "The Bridal Chorus"

Look at those crabs!

I really like it. It's cool.

It's exactly how I imagined my fishing wedding to be.

Waving. Goodbye!

Thank you, everybody.

I'm Mr Cromwell, you're Mrs Cromwell.

THEY LAUGH

Cos we're fishermen, hopefully that'll be in our favour to get this Fishermen's Church.

Even though we've never been to church. We won't tell 'em!

But the man upstairs wasn't amused.

In the short time he had, Harry wasn't allowed a church wedding.

'I'm afraid he's not happy about proceeding with this.

'So, really, it's a no.'

-That's not good news, is it?

-No.

So, he plumped for a pub, just for the "halibut".

This is where we hold our wedding ceremonies, in here.

Oh, nice.

I like the flowers, they look cool.

Thank you very much.

So, Harry wants to keep things moist

by staging his marriage ceremony in a pub.

Da-dah!

Nice.

SHE LAUGHS

It is now my great pleasure and privilege to pronounce

that you are husband and wife together.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

But Harry's next port of call was a BIG surprise.

-Darling, put these on.

-OK.

-Are we going to the beach for photos?

-Yeah.

Hmm. Sounds a bit fishy.

-We've got a little surprise in line for you, Mels.

-What is it?

Oh, my God! I'm not going to smell like a fishmonger, am I?

So, the girl who's terrified of the sea

is about to sail to her wedding reception

in a great, big, stinky whelk boat. Mm, nice(!)

Oh, my God! I hate boats.

SHE LAUGHS

-Thank you, Rob!

-Cheers.

-Chin chin!

This is actually cool! I like it.

I love the boat now. I don't know what I was frightened of.

This is a romantic idea

and hopefully I'm not going to be seasick.

And so our fishwife faced her fears and fell hook, line and sinker

for her seafaring man.

Have you been working out?

"Welcome, Mrs Cromwell"!

SHE LAUGHS

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

And, to top off the surprises,

Harry managed to arrange a blessing in the Fishermen's Church

that he'd wanted all along.

Well, friends, welcome to St Julian's Church, here in Tenby Harbour.

This church was built for the fishermen of Tenby.

Here they used to bring their catch for God's blessing.

And Harry today has brought his catch for God's blessing!

APPLAUSE

ALL: Harry and Mel!

APPLAUSE

Oh, sorry. It's my tea.

Don't Tell The Bride has had loads of grooms

muddle their way through their wedding plans,

leaving their other halves stressed to the max.

The important thing, I think, is just to take the day seriously.

Put your whole heart and soul into every little detail...

..and say you did your best.

Unless you make a big joke of the whole thing, of course,

in which case, you're screwed.

Ritesh and Sheena's episode came in at number four.

Chip, anyone?

-Hey!

-As long as I stick with what I'm happy with, it won't go wrong.

-At least, if anything, I'll be happy.

-Ohhh!

I don't want people to remember my wedding because it was a joke.

As long as you've got your mates around, who says you can't have a laugh with the logistics?

If you want a three-tier cake, they're quite expensive.

No-one even eats cake, but people eat chips.

Chips on the wedding day?

I'd go for that ahead of other little things we've got.

You'd rather have the chips than the decor?

Yeah.

"Funky places to get married." That's what you want, yeah.

Alton Towers!

Are you taking the piss?

When people pump him, he starts rolling with those ideas.

-'How can I help?'

-Alton Towers, please.

And those ideas from being a small idea, maybe as a joke, grows.

We have to find a venue today, have to.

So, whatever's open, that's what we pick.

-Forestry Centre...

-Forestry Centre, what's that?

Write the postcode down. What is it? Delta-Echo-12 8-J-X-Ray, right, good.

-I'll remember it.

-It's DE12, isn't it?

Right, wicked. Let's go!

MUSIC: "A-TEAM" THEME

This A-Team's revved up for action.

But Sheena's going to hate it if their plan comes together.

-Oh, we're on a roll, we can't go wrong.

-That's the one!

I've always wanted a stately home

or some setting like a castle or something.

I'm looking to see if I can hire it for a wedding.

Yes, it's very quick. She's a very demanding woman.

This looks beautiful.

Look at the dining table! "Thanks for joining us all today.

"Thank you to all our guests."

-Look, that's the food area. People will sit over there, eating.

-Wow!

I want room service. Ding!

See that trolley over there? I could come in on it, you could push me!

Imagine the wedding song and that. I'll come in, take me to the stage.

Sheena comes up that side over there, on another trolley like that.

And we meet in the middle and, yeah.

If he's not thought like this, God help him.

You've just got to not think of it as, sort of, a gym hall.

It is a gym hall.

In the end, Ritesh went for a tent in a field,

but would you muck about with the British weather?

If it does rain, people are outside, dancing, or whatever -

-what can you suggest?

-Umbrellas?

I hope it's not a whole wedding outside, because if there is,

then, you know, look at today, look at yesterday, look at today.

It is 50/50 either brilliance or complete disaster.

But despite his comical effort,

Ritesh's little touches didn't always go to plan.

I'm not wearing a tiara.

-Why would he choose a tiara?! He knows...

-Shh, shh.

I'm not wearing this!

It's not funny, Nina, I'm not joking!

Just have it so you don't see it, like that.

-Wrap your hair round it.

-I don't like it.

Can we just try that again? I thought that looked really...

-Don't push it on like that!

-Just...shh!

It's princessy, isn't it? It's lovely! Makes you...

Will you be able to take it in a bit?

We can do some alterations. Someone does have to ring...

Hello, Rikky.

-Hiya.

-We've just tried the dress on.

-It's a bit big.

-Is it? Oh, OK.

It needs to be altered. We need authorisation to alter it,

-cos you have to pay for the alterations.

-What?!

Nah, she can't get it altered. I've got no money left!

-'Honest to God.'

-You have to, because it's just falling off.

Can't she pin it or nothing?

-No, you can't pin it, it needs to be altered!

-Oh, my God!

Take her to McDonald's, fill her out a bit.

I don't think her boobs will grow with a Maccy D's!

Chicken fillets. I've seen it on TV.

You could return the tiara and get the alteration done.

'That'd cover you, wouldn't it?'

Yeah.

-Woo-hoo!

-I always get my way.

Rikky's quite, um...quite chilled.

He's like Blu-tac. I can mould him.

She may be in the dress,

but Ritesh knew all along who wore the trousers.

And, on the big day,

the sun definitely shone for this jammy joker

as the laughter stopped and in came the tears...

-That's my wife.

-..of joy.

So, this is it.

Out of our 50 grooms,

we have reached the top three best Don't Tell The Bride episodes ever

as voted by you.

Greetings, Earthlings!

What do you get if you take a groom

obsessed with weirdy-beardy science fiction

and a bride who has absolutely no say at all?

Well, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, obviously.

Or you might get the couple who came in at number three on your vote -

sci-fi nut Charles, who took his long-suffering fiancee, Lauren,

to a personal obsession far, far away.

Well, at least he was happy on their big day.

Right from the start, the signs weren't good.

I'm quite happy that these are the centrepieces for my top table.

Definite.

But Charles's space oddities

are light years away from what classy Lauren wanted.

-It's really romantic.

-Really cosy. Really you, as well,

with all the bits and pieces, lovingly placed.

It looks like a house, like you could live here.

It is like my ideal home!

As well as my ideal wedding venue.

It's perfect.

But nothing seems more perfect to Charles

than having futuristic waiters serve drinks at his wedding.

Come on, robots!

THEY LAUGH

-Amazing!

-Brilliant.

THEY LAUGH

So, if you're handing out drinks to my guests as they come in,

what...? Can you show me some drink-serving skills?

THEY LAUGH

-Brilliant!

-Gold.

THEY LAUGH

It's classic!

If Lauren saw those two robots at her wedding, she'd freak out.

I think we need to reel him in, get him back on the straight and narrow,

so we get a wedding that Lauren will turn up to and enjoy.

It's not looking hopeful,

especially if the stag do is anything to go by.

Watch out, world, here comes Princess Charlie!

MEN CHEER

May the force be with you!

In your pants!

'I'm wearing knickers with "Princess" on them.

'I can deal with it.'

At the wedding venue,

-the first of Charles's guests has beamed himself in.

-Oh, my word!

(ELECTRONIC VOICE) Hello, Charles. My name is Primo

and I'm here to help you with your wedding today.

High-five, Primo! Yeah.

Hello, everyone, welcome to Lauren and Charles's wedding.

Thank you.

Charles takes his new bride into the intergalactic molecular transporter.

Ah, no, it's just a lift, really.

Lucky Lauren's about to have a close encounter of an absurd kind.

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

SHE LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY

Hello, Lauren and Charles, congratulations on your big day.

-I'm going to show you the cake.

-SHE SHRIEKS

I thought in space, no-one could hear you scream?

-Are they peas?

-They're aliens!

Oh. I am going to think they're peas, if that's OK with you?

That makes me feel a bit better about aliens.

No, it's cool. It was just a shock, that's all.

Yeah, very cool(!)

Ladies and gentlemen, can you please be upstanding

for the bride and groom?

THEY CHEER

Well done, Charles, you big space nerd.

I've shown you that sci-fi can be romantic. Today's proof.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Do you not think?

Yeah.

-(ROBOTIC VOICE)

-Well, Charles, maybe in a parallel universe.

Can you guess which show gets second place?

This next episode has been pipped to the post for the number one spot,

but it's MY absolute favourite show.

This is the single most jaw-dropping piece of decision-making ever

on Don't Tell The Bride.

And you loved the groom taking a gamble on his big day.

At number two, it's Simon and Kaleigh.

Viva Las Vegas!

Black is Vegas. Red is the UK.

Black? You're going for black? You're a brave boy!

Kaleigh's always dreamed of a traditional English country wedding.

And if it comes up black, she's off to Vegas.

THEY CHEER

She's going to kill me!

Simon!

I went on black.

I feel so ecstatic!

But I think the important thing is to do everything I want to do

and make sure we do everything she wants to do in Vegas as well.

Make it the best wedding she's ever been to.

Simon may think he's hit the jackpot with Vegas,

but the odds of pulling off a wedding Kaleigh will love

are now stacked against him.

Worse still, Simon can only afford six guests.

It's time to tell the family.

This arrived.

"Play me."

-What's that?

-A castle.

Definitely not going there.

-Are you going there?

-No, we're not going there.

-Where are you going?

# Bright light city gonna set my soul... #

Oh, my God! Las Vegas!

There's been a lot of speculation about where the wedding will be.

We are going all the way to Las Vegas.

Unfortunately, some of you aren't going to be able to go

and I really, really...

..feel quite bad about that.

The following people will be going...

and it's Deb, Brent,

my dad, my mum...

Who else is going? Sam,

Anthony, myself and obviously Kaleigh.

The news starts to sink in

that two of Kay's nearest and dearest won't be at the wedding.

Oh, God, she's not going to be happy.

She's going to hate it.

So many people can't go.

So many people have bought outfits.

They've gone to so much trouble.

Kaleigh and her sister have no idea where they're heading.

As they approach the airport, she's convinced it's a practical joke.

-Oh, my God!

-He's bluffing.

I'm not convinced he's bluffing.

I've been told to come to you?

-I think this is for you.

-Thank you.

With the girls still reeling from THAT shock,

their parents arrive and drop another bombshell.

-Sean can't come.

-Sean's not coming?

I'm not going, then.

Their brother, Sean, is being left behind.

Would you be able to get married, knowing your brother's not there?

Why would the man I love do this?

Why would he do this, Mum?

SHE SOBS

With the wedding in crisis and their relationship at stake,

Simon's traded the crap table

for a crap bed that he's made and now has to lie in.

-What the

-BLEEP

-is going on?

Baby, come on...

'Do you know how upset we are?'

You've ripped the whole family apart, Simon.

'How can you do this?'

I'm not coming.

-No, Kaleigh, don't be silly.

-I'm not coming.

Please, I love you.

No, you obviously don't, cos you wouldn't do this, would you?

'Sorry, Simon. I'm just...'

I'm really struggling to, well, want to marry you.

'How could you?'

You've absolutely broken my heart.

Please, just get on the plane.

I'm not coming.

'If you don't...'

Well, game over. End of.

End of what?

End...of us.

Simon, there, with a face of pure horror,

not seen since his mum discovered his special drawer.

Simon, we salute you.

So, here we are -

after five incredible series of Don't Tell The Bride,

some brilliant weddings,

and some that I promise we will never, ever mention again,

it is time to find out which one

you have voted the best Don't Tell The Bride ever.

Taking wedding planning to a whole new height,

congratulations go to...

John and Jackie, who have flown into the top spot.

(Nobody mention the word "splat".)

Go on, son!

# All by myself... #

John always prided himself on being quirky and individual.

Why wouldn't you want to marry this man?

SHE LAUGHS

Not everything has to have something written on it!

Got to be different, Jackie.

You are different. Definitely different.

So, naturally, that extended to wedding planning.

-Hiya.

-Hi.

We're looking for a cake.

She's always moaning about the size of her nose and wants a nose job

so this is a perfect chance to cut a wee bit off her nose.

We'll go with a nose-shaped cake.

I think she'll kill you.

-It could go either way.

-It can only go one way.

THEY LAUGH

And, after the nose,

Jackie won't believe her eyes at John's next wacky idea.

This is the first choice, cos this is where me and Jackie met.

It's important to me

that our reception's held somewhere that means a lot.

It's important that for one day of our life,

we don't try and pretend we're something we're not.

Everyone that I talk to

seems to think I'm going to get married in the Miners' and...

I would be absolutely devastated if...

I would be absolutely devastated if he does that

because I think that's just...a joke.

When Jackie went to see the wedding dress John had chosen...

Hello.

..she was in for shock number one.

-Come for your dress fitting?

-Yes.

John's asked us to give you something to put on before you see your dress.

We have to make sure no peeking.

It's a pink bag!

OH, MY GOD!

This is no shop assistant. It's Jackie's best friend, Rosie,

who's been flown in from her new life in Australia.

Oh, my God, it's brilliant!

It's all John's doing, you know?

At least he's good for something!

Oh!

Shock number two quickly followed on her wedding day.

-Shit.

-BOTH: Oh, my God.

I'm petrified of flying!

Woke up this morning, it's sunny outside.

Jackie Burns is skydiving today!

Yes!

Surely need a bigger plane than that? Health and safety would say

you cannot skydive out of a plane in a wedding dress!

-People do it.

-Surely you have to take some Valium or something

before you do something like that?

He's having a laugh.

I think this is one of his wind-ups.

I think you've probably guessed by now

that I am a tandem skydiving instructor.

Going to run through a briefing about what we do.

-I can't believe he's done this.

-Unfortunately, I can.

When we leave the aircraft,

we'll accelerate to 120mph in seven seconds.

We'll be in freefall for about 30 seconds.

Then we'll be flying about under the parachute for about five minutes.

So we put you into one of these harnesses.

-Can you do this in a dress like this?

-No.

Nice as you look, we'll have to take you out of that.

All that time that girl spent this morning doing hair and make-up.

It's such a boy thing to do.

This is probably the worst possible idea...

..for the morning of the wedding.

-I think John's an

-BLEEP

-hole.

It's absolutely brilliant! It's my wedding day!

OK. OK, I'll do it.

We'll take you, then.

PLANE ENGINE RUMBLES

-I'm

-BLEEP

-myself.

What if I die? What if I actually die?

-Watch your head on the wing.

-OK.

Oh, I can hear it, I can hear it!

Burnsy! Hurry up!

SONG: "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty

# She's a good girl, loves her mama

# I'm a bad boy... #

Can you imagine what's going through her mind right now?

-Her heart's going to be going crazy!

-Oh, my God!

# ..breaking her heart

# And I'm free

# Free fallin'... #

There they are, look!

# Free fallin'. #

MUSIC: "Wedding March" by Mendelssohn

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

SHE LAUGHS

Mate.

That is a feeling that you can't even put into words.

It's... I don't... It is absolutely amazing!

I'm still going to punch him for making me do this on my wedding day.

Nailed it, nailed it!

With her adrenaline still pumping,

Jackie found a way to let it all out.

LAUGHTER

Watch the good flowers!

-I do.

-I do.

LAUGHTER

I'm delighted to declare that

Jackie and John, you are now husband and wife.

APPLAUSE

I can't believe we've got to go on another journey.

But the final shock up John's kilt was his biggest risk yet.

-You absolute

-BLEEP.

I do get the feeling you're not happy.

Would you honestly do this to me?

-After getting flung out of a

-BLEEP

-plane?

And that beautiful ceremony, you come to the Miners'?

Honestly? Is this a joke?

Guys.

What if I say I'm not getting out?

-You can trust me.

-No, I can't.

-You can trust me. Trust me?

You're not going to go away, are you?

I'm having a reception in the Miners'?

-Yeah.

-Right, OK, that's fine.

-All right?

Trust me, trust me, trust me, trust me.

-Trust me.

-Watch my dress on the door.

You ready? You ready for this?

-Yeah.

-Right, go.

-SHE GASPS

-Oh, my...!

Christmas! Oh, my God, oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!

-Like it?

It's amazing!

I can't believe this is the Miners'!

This could be anywhere in the world, but this is where we met. That's why it's special to me, all right?

You are mental.

-You love Christmas!

-I know I love Christmas.

You love Christmas, I love the Miners'!

You love...trendy stuff.

-And you don't!

-Yeah. Hence the cake.

-Oh, John!

-THEY LAUGH

To John and Jackie.

-Well done.

-Thank you!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

With a little bit of cunning and a lot of love,

John had pulled off the perfect wedding.

# Free fallin'. #

Don't Tell The Bride - can it get any more extraordinary than this?

Goodnight.

# You know I said it's true

# I can feel the love Can you feel it too?

# I can feel it ah, ah

# I can feel it ah, ah

# You know I said it's true

# I can feel the love Can you feel it too?

# I can feel it ah, ah

# I can feel it ah, ah, yeah

# You know I said it's true I can feel the love

# Can you feel it too? #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd