Episode 1 Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains some strong language

You can't beat a good wedding.

Whether it's Will and Kate's royal bash

or little old me getting hitched last year.

-I, Cherry.

-I, Cherry.

-Take you, Roly.

-Take you, Roly.

-To be my husband.

-To be my husband.

And weddings don't come any more dramatic than right here on

Don't Tell The Bride.

-I'm not coming.

-Please, I love you, please.

Where we give one bloke 12 grand

to organise the biggest day of his bride-to-be's life.

-What could possibly go wrong?

-On one condition.

He does it all on his lonesome ownsome.

-I don't know what she wants.

-It's hell on earth.

The lady gets no say in the big day.

-Bitterly disappointed.

-So all she can expect...

What?!

SHE SCREAMS

..is the unexpected.

That's brilliant!

Oh, Nath!

Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Get him on the phone. I'll tell him what a bitch is.

As we remember the ups and downs of our gallant grooms.

Oops!

And their blushing brides.

I'm going to kill him!

The laughter.

The tears.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.

And the soppy snogs.

So what do you need when you're planning a wedding?

Common sense, obviously.

You'll also need to dress the bride

and for that you'll need a dress that suits her,

shoes that go with it and maybe something pretty for her hair.

Couldn't be easier, right?

Wrong.

I'm just not sure about the shoes.

I think they're a little tight around the heel.

On Don't Tell The Bride, the groom is always responsible

for finding his bride's dress all on his own.

Kayleigh is about to see her wedding dress for the very first time.

Simon has shipped the frock to a wedding dress shop in Leicester.

Kayleigh wanted a white princess dress with lots of sparkle.

That's not what Simon has bought her.

It's a really bad choice. It makes me feel frumpy, old.

What the hell's he thinking?

-I wouldn't wear it.

-I'm not wearing it.

Kayleigh's sister Sam puts an emergency call to the groom.

5,000 miles away, it's early morning and Simon is sleeping like a baby.

Not for long.

MOBILE BUZZES

We're just at the dress shop. Kayleigh's tried on her dress.

'Um...'

She doesn't like it

'at all.'

She doesn't like the ruffles. It doesn't fit her.

She doesn't like the roses.

'The only other option is'

for Simon to buy another one.

I don't know if there's any money left in the budget

to buy another dress.

If there's no money in the budget,

he's going to have to find it from somewhere.

Cut back on something.

We've still got to get a cake, bridesmaid's dress,

licence, make up, cars, champagne.

Simon, what have YOU done?

The bride has finally found the frock she fancies.

Oh, yes! How much better?

How much better?

Kayleigh's found the dress that she wants.

'The price altogether is £1,564.'

There's only 600 quid, Deb.

-What?

-He's only got £600.

-That's not even going to get a wedding dress!

That's not good enough, Antony.

They need to get the money.

God, I feel such a bitch.

Get me on the phone. I'll tell him what a bitch is.

And then, there's the dreaded footwear.

-Oh, I've got two!

-Yeah, he's chosen two.

What you laughing at?

One pair down, one to go.

Why's he wasted money on crappy shoes?

-I don't like these either.

-Let's have a look.

I'm not wearing these shoes.

They're fucking hideous!

I think these are sexy.

-They cost £55.

-£55 quid for them? You're fucking joking me?!

Take them bloody back!

SHE GROWLS

-Hello?

-Hi, Andy, it's Keira.

How dare he put shoes that ugly under my face.

Hannah is really, really fuming with them shoes, Andy. She hates them.

-The shoes?

-She said they're awful.

-Bridezilla, you are.

'I thought them shoes were quite nice, but she's a princess.

-'She'll get what she wants.'

-OK, then. Bye.

Shoes! Always about the bloody shoes!

And here's how it should be done.

Hello, you all right?

-Do you need a wedding dress?

-Yeah.

OK, let's start with, what do you imagine her wearing?

What I really don't want is too much bling.

Um, no bling? That's not going to be easy in here.

-Is that going to be too much?

-A little bit too much bling.

-Again...

-Too blingy?

-Yeah, too blingy.

-Comes with or without this.

-OK.

I don't know if it's just too much of a risk.

She's going to wear it one day and then is going to put it in a box.

Oh, you're sick!

If she doesn't like it, she's not going to be too happy, is she?

-I actually like that top half.

-Yeah, top half.

-Kind of the theme.

A little bit Titanic.

So tell me about Titanic.

He's getting married on a battleship.

If there's one thing Rihanna didn't want

it was a low-cut neckline and a big skirt,

so will Ian's fishtail Titanic dress float her boat

or send her overboard?

-Gorgeous!

-It's stunning!

-I love him so much.

-You look amazing.

I love it.

-It is absolutely beautiful.

-Do you like it?

Perfect. Made to order. You look so beautiful.

Do you know, I couldn't do this. Ian did it.

-I couldn't find it. I couldn't.

-No.

-He's better than me.

-He's the fashionista.

-It's glamorous.

-So romantic.

-It's beautiful.

I'm relaxed now. I feel like I've just been...

Oh god, it's just the biggest, nicest, happiest moment ever.

MUSIC: "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion

Well done, Ian.

You're brilliant.

Or very jammy!

# Near, far

# Wherever you are... #

CLOCK STRIKES

MUSIC: "Greatest Day" by Take That

# Oh, hold your head high

# Hold on, arms open wide

# Hear, the world starts to come alive

# When you stay close to me

# Today this could be

# The greatest day of our lives. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd