Episode 2 Don't Tell the Bride


Episode 2

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This programme contains some strong language

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You can't beat a good wedding.

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Whether it's Will and Kate's right royal bash

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or little old me getting hitched last year.

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-'I, Cherry...'

-I, Cherry...

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-'..take you, Roly...'

-..take you, Roly...

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-'..to be my husband.'

-..to be my husband.

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And weddings don't come any more dramatic

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than right here on Don't Tell The Bride.

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-I'm not coming!

-Please, I love you! Please.

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Where we give one bloke 12 grand

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to organise the biggest day of his bride-to-be's life...

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What could possibly go wrong?

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..on one condition.

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He does it all on his lonesome ownsome.

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-I don't know what she wants.

-This is hell on earth.

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The lady gets no say in the big day...

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-Bitterly disappointed.

-..so, all she can expect...

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What?!

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SHE SCREAMS

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..is the an expected.

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That's brilliant!

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Oh, Nath!

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Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster ride...

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Get ME on the phone, I'll tell him of the bitch is.

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-..as we remember the ups...

-Yes!

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..and downs of our gallant grooms...

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-Oops!

-Oh, my God!

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-..and their blushing brides.

-I'm going to kill him!

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SHE LAUGHS

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-The laughter...

-THEY LAUGH

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..the tears...

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I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it!

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..and the soppy snogs.

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There's nothing like a special night and Sally's hen do was...

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Well, you know the rest.

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'People always expected something to happen with me.'

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-That's the bottom line cos I'm always up to jokes, or pranks.

-What?!

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Right, read it.

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He says, "Your first-class transport awaits you at Prestwich tram stop

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to whisk you to Manchester city centre

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for a slap up meal in Yum Yums in the Printworks.

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Tram tickets are provided inside.

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-Tram?!

-Tram?

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-Yeah, Tram tickets.

-Tram?!

-Oh, my God.

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-Eight tram tickets!

-Is he taking the piss?!

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THEY LAUGH

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I bet her face touched the floor.

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I bet she was nearly crying, innit? But I would have found that funny.

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ALL: Woo!

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I can't believe I've got sit in a restaurant. He's taking the piss.

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With this on. I bet he's not in a restaurant, sat wearing this shit.

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That went down like a lead balloon.

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I hate you for getting me on the tram.

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Absolutely pissed off that I have to get the tram.

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Here's a good idea -

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why not dig out the bride's worst nightmare?

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# Here we go, here we go, here we go... #

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What we're going to do here today,

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if you haven't already worked it out, is we're going to sing some songs.

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-THEY GROAN

-And were going to record them!

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THEY GROAN

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He doesn't know me at all, does he? Oh, my God!

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-I-I-I've heard that you quite like singing?

-Yeah, no.

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No, not at all.

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Lottie used to be part of a covers band and an originals band as well,

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so she loves singing and she loves writing music as well.

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'She's very good at it.'

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I absolute... I do not want everybody hearing how I sing.

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ALL: Ohh.

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-Your good singer, darling.

-You're an amazing singer!

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The thing is, I don't think she, I don't know whether she'd be too keen

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on the fact that I've put in that situation with her friends

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and, you know, "All eyes on me," but, erm, I don't know.

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-SHE SOBS

-I sounded so bad last time, in the studio.

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I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it!

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Don't make me do it!

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I really, really don't like it.

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Of course, if you're in any doubt bring out a...bucket...of...fish?

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Hywel wanted to treat Beca to a special experience

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so he blagged a favour off his stepdad Steve,

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who runs a business providing an unusual kind of pampering.

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There'll be screams going on everywhere. It'll be bonkers!

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# Surprise, surprise! #

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Let's go, Batman!

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-Are they hungry?

-They're looking REALLY hungry!

-Urgh!

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As they head of for their night out,

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Beca and her friends haven't got a clue what lies in wait.

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There's a minibus! Woo! It's a minibus!

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So fucking tight!

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This is the way to my father's!

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Oh, my God. Look at that!

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-Oh, my God!

-THEY LAUGH AND SCREAM

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Ooh, it's a bit nipply out!

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Get a drink!

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Thank you.

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OK, smile!

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JAWS THEME MUSIC

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Time for the pamper party to begin...

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THEY GASP

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..with a piscean pedicure.

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I'm not putting my feet in there!

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-NERVOUS CHATTERING

-I'm not doing it! I don't like fish!

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SHE SHOUTS

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Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! This is weird!

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SHE SCREAMS

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No, I'm going to kill him.

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How do you annoy a room full of women in one go?

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Well, like this.

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The budget is wearing very thin.

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£392 left.

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I've still got to get flowers, I've still got to get the cake,

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still got to do the gifts

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and the bill coming off the girls' hen do

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is a little bit more than I thought.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello?

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-Hello there, Amy. How's it going?

-Thanks Mitch!

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Everyone's had a lovely time and says, "Thank you very much."

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Well, I've been doing some sums...

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-Yeah?

-'..and I've got a problem.'

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OK.

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'What you've just done this afternoon'

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has actually come in more expensive than I thought

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'and I was hoping, so I can buy flowers for the wedding,

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'that you girls might not mind'

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sticking a tenner in the kitty each.

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-£10 each?

-'I wouldn't ask,

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'and I hope that you can pass that information on, but it really is,'

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the coffer is at empty.

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'It's gone.'

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Nice one, have a good rest of your day! Sorry, bye!

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That's hopefully not going to break their bank

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whereas, it's going to make Laura's day even better so...

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erm, I'm pretty happy.

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The same can't be said for the bridesmaids.

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THEY'VE already spent £65 each.

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Bit tough for us bridesmaids cos we have contributed towards our dresses

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'and...it's ruined it bit from Laura because she's had a lovely day'

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and it's put a bit of a dampener on the end of the day, really.

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-I'm so sorry, girls.

-Oh, don't be silly, it's fine!

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-I've had a lovely day.

-It's only £10. It's, like, nothing.

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I know, but that's so annoying!

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At least the bridesmaids are taking control of the hen night

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and they have an evil plan.

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Seeing as I was told that the bridesmaids were taking over

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I'm scared.

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I wouldn't spend too much time and make up, Laura!

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THEY SCREAM AND LAUGH

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MUSIC: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson

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Hmm, what happened to your make-up?

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'Ah-ha-ha-ha!'

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MUSIC: "Greatest Day" by Take That

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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