Mad, Bad & Dangerous Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains some strong language.

Every girl dreams of planning their wedding, but what if they hand over control of their most important day?

I'm Stacey Dooley and I'm a huge fan of Don't Tell The Bride.

Tonight, I've been given free rein to show you

some of my favourite nail-biting... SCREAMING

-..cringe-making...

-It could all end in tears.

..and downright painful moments from the last ten series.

We've only just got married and you're leaving me.

So make sure you're sitting comfortably,

because this lot definitely weren't.

She'll be fuming.

It's going to break her heart.

This will tip her over the edge.

We'll be reliving the maddest...

That's horrible!

..baddest...

How can someone be so romantically stupid?

..and most dangerous decisions ever made on Don't Tell The Bride...

I'm still going to punch him.

-..as the grooms struggle their way through £12,000...

-What the...?

..and three weeks...

to plan the wedding of their dreams.

What the hell?

I'm going to miss my own wedding.

Oh, my God.

There are so many decisions to be made when planning a wedding

and over the next hour we're going to be taking a look

at some of the most shocking ones.

Now, let's start with something that's led to some of the maddest,

probably baddest choices our grooms have made.

You've guessed it - it's the wedding dress.

Your wedding dress is supposed to bring you tears of joy...

Oh, my God!

..but not for these brides

and their mums and their bridesmaids.

What an idiot!

I'm not wearing a dress with holes in it.

A bad dress is bad enough...

It's just ugly.

I'm having a panic attack.

..but some of the maddest-ever dress decisions were made

about how to buy the dress in the first place.

Mm-mm. Hell, no.

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Take Ian for example.

And then have a boogie and we're done.

He decided to go the extra mile.

Well, an extra 5,000 miles.

He had the brilliant idea of flying for 28 hours

on four flights with two stop-offs

because he was convinced wedding dresses would be cheaper...

..in Thailand.

Shoes off, boys!

Confident he was going to bag a blingtastic bargain,

he went straight for the glitziest dress in the shop.

It's a beautiful dress. It's really nice.

And if anybody could pull it off, it's going to be her.

All he had to do was find out the price -

which was going to be cheap, right?

160,000 baht?

-HE LAUGHS

-No, that's way out of my budget.

At £3,000, it was far from budget bling.

That's just chucked a spanner in the works, hasn't it?

This is my worst nightmare.

So apparently Thailand is not as cheap as you would think

for wedding dresses.

I'm freaking out a bit.

If I don't go home with a wedding dress, I'm going to...

What the...?

Ian had to resort to using some English charm...

She's perfect and that dress is perfect, so put 'em both together,

they're going to get more than perfect,

and you're perfect, so you're perfect, she's perfect,

the dress is perfect...

..and got the dress down to £1,100.

Deal. Come here.

After spending several thousand on a frock plus flights,

Ian retuned home...

Come on, then, boys.

..and unpacked the jewel-encrusted dress,

which had been stuffed in the bottom of a suitcase

for the last 17 hours.

Are there any fallen off?

Yeah, there is. Shit.

Isn't it bad luck for a groom to see the bride's dress?

Yep, and it turned out it was even worse luck when Jay saw it.

All the gems are missing.

There is one right in the middle.

If that one wasn't there it wouldn't be quite as obvious.

But there's two missing there... Why has he got you a broken dress?

I'm not wearing a broken dress, I'm sorry.

-Would you wear a broken dress?

-No.

And just to make matters worse...

It doesn't fit.

Oh, my God. There is absolutely no way that's going on.

All right?

Don't cry, babe. Please don't cry.

This is not the thing you get wrong at 20 to three

on a Saturday afternoon the day before your wedding.

I'm not marrying him.

If he doesn't change it, make this right, I'm not going tomorrow.

How can I?

At least Ian was willing to travel halfway round the world for a dress.

Our next groom didn't even leave his living room.

Yep, Verity's fiance Scott was not only determined

to get a discount dress for less than 100 quid,

but also wanted to do it from the comfort of his couch.

I've seen dresses that look awesome on eBay.

I think that I can save a lot of money.

£96... Is that an OK amount to spend?

I suspect it's a bit less than Verity thought you'd probably spend.

-End of the day...

-She never has to know! She never has to know.

-I just clicked on Buy It Now.

-THEY CHUCKLE

Come on, China! Don't have a postal strike.

You've bought yourself a wedding dress. Yeah, boy!

The day before the wedding, Verity had no idea

that she was about to be delivered a Chinese takeaway wedding dress.

Why is David here with a box?

-Oh, my God. No.

-DOORBELL

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Christine? This is for Verity.

Why am I not going to a boutique?

I'm more nervous about this

than anything else that we've done, to be fair.

I think that's fair enough.

Shittest thing ever.

And the boys were right to worry.

The whole thing about being a bride is going to the bridal boutique.

You get to try on the dress, you get to feel like a princess.

What if I don't like it?

I can't go anywhere. I can't look for anything else, can I?

Everything that I wanted, I haven't been able to do

and I thought the one thing I would get to do

would be to go to a nice dress shop and see my dress hanging up

the way that everyone normally does and now I don't.

Like, everything that should be special

has been taken away from me.

It wasn't just her dream of visiting a bridal boutique

that was left in tatters.

It's got some threads hanging off here, that's nice.

Nice little detail there.

There's a mark up here.

Oh, a bit of the netting's coming away there.

My dress is going to be falling apart as I wear it.

I can almost guarantee because it's come here, it's come off eBay.

And it seems spending just 96 quid, not including delivery,

wasn't the only thing that was tight.

These seams are pulling so tight, they're literally about to rip here.

It hurts, like, there and I've only had it on for, what? Ten minutes?

I literally cannot move in it. It is so tight here.

This is ridiculous.

But the biggest, baddest and boldest moment

of dress buying goes to Tommy.

What is the cheapest dress you've got?

OK. Follow me this way. We'll go to the sale rail.

What about this one? This one's £75.

Oh, that's good. Would you go any lower?

You've got to be kidding me!

£75, that's it. I can't go any lower.

-Just a little bit?

-70.

70, all right. A fiver's a fiver.

A fiver's a fiver!

Arms in front and maybe a leg up.

The reason he didn't want to waste any cash on the dress

was because he was planning for his bride to water-ski in it.

We need it a little bit shorter, see, cos it's catching on the leg.

Scissors, please.

To save more money, the boys even decided to do their own alterations.

-Don't rip it!

-Gok Wan, eat your heart out!

Look at me, I'm round the back now.

-You've gone too high.

-That's for extra leg movement.

You did go a bit too far, actually.

No, I'll make it a fashionable slit.

I think that'll work, cos look,

you can see the ankles. That's all we need.

When it came to Hannah seeing her cut-price dress,

the mutilated frock...

I hate it.

..left her in shock.

I'm not wearing it.

SHE SOBS

-It's a joke.

-Oh, my God.

That is disgraceful.

You're not wearing that.

It's literally just had the bottom cut off.

You look like you're in a pantomime.

It's horrible. That's disgusting.

-What, has he cut it himself?

-Yeah.

-THEY GASP

-Why would you cut a dress?

Look, it's not even a neat finish.

It's all, like, chopped up

as if you've literally got it as a Halloween outfit.

It looks like he got angry with it.

I'd like to take it off, please.

With no other option,

hacked-off Hannah had to wear her hacked-up dress.

But come the big day, of course,

Tommy did get her something else to wear.

A wet suit.

-All right?

-All right.

So he could whisk her off down a watery aisle.

Over the years our guys have had so many ideas

that have been mad, bad and dangerous.

But some of them have been so out there, you do have to wonder,

have they really thought this through?

IT GROWLS

When it comes to epically bad wedding ideas...

Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?!

..Don't Tell the Bride had some jaw-droppers.

Have I got to jump into that?

You have got to cock your leg over.

But often the worst weddings come from the best of intentions.

She can't walk down the aisle in the rain, can she?

Because these hopelessly romantic grooms

were actually just, well, hopeless.

I can't believe he's making me cry.

Oh, my God, my wedding dress!

Let's start with poor Hayley.

She dreamt of a Big Fat Gypsy wedding.

I want this dress.

But Ian came up with the maddest plan ever.

He wanted an underwater wedding

in the deep end of his local leisure-centre swimming pool.

It's the leisure centre that we met at.

You ain't going to get much more romantic than that.

-See? Hopelessly romantic.

-You romantic, you.

Emphasis on the hopeless!

On her big day,

Hayley spent four hours getting her glitter just right.

This is definitely the best make-up job

and the prettiest I've ever felt

and that's what I wanted for my wedding day.

Meanwhile, her bridesmaids were about to discover

what the boys had in store for them.

Oh, my God!

No freaking way. Swimming costumes and snorkels.

-I don't believe it.

-He's joking, he's got to be joking.

I think Hayley is going to go absolutely nuts.

Approaching the leisure centre,

Hayley also started to get that sinking feeling.

-Oh, my God.

-Ever swam in a wedding dress before?

-Don't even joke.

"So you know how we met in the gym at this leisure centre

"and you taught me how to swim here too...?"

God, I can't finish it.

"And how much you believe you're a mermaid.

"I thought what better place on your nervous day

"than the place where you are most calm,

"so we're getting married underwater."

Oh, my God. I'm worried.

I'm all dressed up and now I'm going to look like poo.

Seriously. We just got all our hair and make-up done.

How can someone be so romantically stupid?

That's what I'm thinking.

Oh, my God. No way.

Just think, you haven't got to do anything that you don't want to do.

You don't have to do it.

Stop it, please.

I don't want to talk any more.

I just want to get married, like, nicely.

I don't want to get married like...this, in the water.

I can't believe he's making me cry.

I always said it didn't matter. Didn't matter what happened

as long as I was marrying Ian and I meant that...

so I'm going to have to do it, aren't I?

CHEERING

If you thought that was wet....

-You're a nutter, but I do love you.

-I love you.

..our next wedding was a complete wash-out.

Rory's really romantic, really risky,

really bad wedding idea was to get married on a windswept beach...

As Del Boy would say, he who dares, Rodders. He who dares.

..with both high tide and a storm rapidly approaching.

Tide goes all the way in there.

So as soon as it gets past that step, I'm off,

cos I'm not climbing up there!

As his 70 guests made their way down the perilous cliff,

it was clear his gamble with the elements...

hadn't paid off.

It's started to rain now.

The bridal car carrying Rhianna was just moments away,

but so was the chance of a good soaking.

Going to have to make a decision before she comes down, aren't we?

Come on. Anya's standing outside in the pouring rain.

Facing a waterlogged wedding...

I don't know what to do.

Well, no-one knows what to do.

..Rory had a big decision to make.

She can't walk down the aisle in the rain, can she?

Sorry, we're going to have to go back up. We've got a plan B.

I can't have everyone sitting in the rain and cold all day so...

Fuck's sake.

He had no choice but to move his 70 guests

back up the slippery cliff face and away from the elements.

Once the damp guests were back in the dry...

the waterworks started all over again.

# Cry me a river... #

Aww. Give that man a hug.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

While Rory was a blubbering mess...

..our next groom Alex was all about being macho.

This wannabe knight in shining armour dreamt of rescuing his damsel -

that's Sophie - on her big day.

# What's that coming over the hill

# Is it a monster? Is it a monster? #

So he came up with a monstrous wedding plan -

a zombie apocalypse.

How romantic(!)

Shit. I told you I didn't like stuff like this. It's a Swat team.

Before long, it was the Day of the Dead.

Or Day of the Wedding, whatever.

Why would you get married here?

Why would you get married here?!

SIREN WAILS

Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.

You're about to enter an infected zone.

My colleagues are going to escort you off one by one.

-Come on.

-Secure the perimeter.

ZOMBIES ROAR

THEY SCREAM

GUNFIRE

-Everybody inside! This way!

-This way!

-Keep moving!

-Everybody moving!

SHOUTING

GUNFIRE

Sophie is going to kill him.

Every little girl dreams of her big princess wedding,

and this is not it.

On her way, Sophie was still blissfully unaware

of the apocalyptic bloodbath wedding that was awaiting her.

-What?

-Oh, my God.

This building just freaks me out. I'm shaking, Sophie.

I'm absolutely...

We're going to stick together. We're going to be fine.

-Just don't leave each other.

-I need to go toilet before I do this

-cos I'm going to end up pissing meself.

-I'm going to wet myself. We've had kids,

I am literally going to wet myself.

Oh, my God...

THEY SCREAM

There's Alex!

You're not meant to see me before I get married, you shit!

Hiya!

I'm going to have a panic attack. I can't do it.

Alex, this is like The Walking Dead!

Oh, my God! I'm going to kill you!

GUNFIRE

Shit!

CHEERING

With the bride rescued, all Alex had to do was the REALLY scary bit.

Remember, Alex - happy wife, happy life.

You may now kiss your bride.

And although this groom should have been a dead man walking...

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, my God, my wedding dress!

..he was lucky his bride took it out on the zombies instead.

Apart from that one. She... She's still out there.

Sleep well!

If you think THAT'S scary,

it's nothing compared to when the grooms have to face the bridesmaids.

Mainly because he's usually outnumbered by at least three to one.

When Luke went bridesmaid-dress shopping,

it was more a case of eight to one.

With so many outfits to buy, he came up with a cunning plan to save money.

I've put £38 on each and they'll have to pay for the rest.

OK. That's very generous of you, Luke.

He just had to break it to the girls.

But you're paying for all of it?

They're going to do us a deal on it.

With all the alterations and everything, it's going to be 120.

-Less 38 that he's putting towards it.

-Yeah, so it should be like 80.

I'm not just trying to be difficult. I just don't have £80.

I haven't got £80. I haven't got 80 quid right now.

With so many girls, the odds definitely weren't in Luke's favour.

We're going to do a mutiny and say none of us can pay

so none of us can be a bridesmaid.

I've put more in for their dresses than I've put in for the lads' suits

so it's not like we've been oversubsidised.

It's just she's got so many. That was her call.

Unwilling to back down, the girls came up with a mutinous plan.

We're thinking if we say none of us are going to be a bridesmaid,

it might pull at Luke's little heartstrings

and he'll cough up the cash.

So, it's looking like either there's going to be no bridesmaids

or we half-and-half or we pay 50

and you guys somehow make up the difference, cos...

There's no somehow about it.

You need to have this conversation with Jess.

But how can we have the conversation with Jess? She'll be in bits.

I'd love to pay for them all, I'd love that dress to be 50 quid,

-but it's not.

-Shut up a minute!

-This is the situation I'm in.

You're such a drama queen.

-"Drama queen"?

-We're not paying more than 50 quid.

We're not budging on it. He will cough that money up.

It's up to you, if you want to pay for it out of your own pocket,

but I don't see how you can. We're paying for enough as it is.

-You have to make a decision.

-You have to make one as well.

Well, I've already made it. It's up to you.

The only way to break the stand-off was for Luke to make a dramatic exit.

Drama queen!

Right. So it's £80 on your bridesmaid dresses, guys.

But when it comes to bad bridesmaids, sometimes less is more.

Job well done.

When Darnell met up with Katie's bridesmaids,

he found that even a manageable number can be difficult

when you get a bridesmaid who's pretty much impossible to please.

I don't like nothing here. I don't like anything here.

I don't like that. That's like an old granny's wedding dress.

That is. That's like an old granny's wedding dress.

So I think she at the moment is the hardest one to please right now

just because she doesn't like most

of what the other two are picking out.

-Green? No way!

-I think that's all right.

-For a bridesmaid's dress?

-Shall we try it on, just in case?

-No!

-If we can't find nothing, then we've got backup.

-No! I don't like it.

It's going to be hard work.

Shall we try some stuff on just in case?

I can't choose anything from here.

No, I don't like that. I'm not going to fit in a ten, am I?

Just put the damn thing on, yeah?

Not everybody's built of bones, man.

Here's an eight, put that on.

Why did you get the ugliest dress in my size?

That's it, there's nothing.

-My head's hurting.

-They haven't got a six.

A ten ain't going to fit me. This skirt is an eight, look at that.

Listen, I'm going to actually kick your butt.

What?

I'm keeping my glasses on,

I'm keeping my stony face and I'm playing Daddy.

What I say goes.

And, somehow, that actually worked.

Hey, beautiful!

We've found a dress that everybody likes. That is banging, definitely.

You win!

When Chris had to buy bridesmaids' outfits, he had a tough time.

But then he DID have a truly bad idea.

There's one item in here that you'll shit bricks about.

If this is hot pants, I'm going to cry.

It is hot pants, but no, no, no, don't worry.

-It IS hot pants, but... No, no, no, listen to me.

-We're not doing it!

Just listen to me for a second.

The thing I've seen that's the closest thing we can get in here

is hot pants, but don't worry, they're going to be a lot longer.

Will you just trust me on this one? Come on, come on.

This is just to give you the vision.

No, they're definitely hot pants.

-It's going to look...

-Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I can hear them giggling in the background. "What a twat he is!"

Corrine's going to go mental. She really is going to lose it.

Am I going all red? I get red when I get panicky.

Are you coming round to the idea maybe a little bit now?

-"Coming round"?

-I'm not dealing with Corrine after this.

This is going to tip her over the edge.

Wishful thinking!

When David decided to marry Rosie, it also meant

taking on the women in her family,

including her protective sister Lucy.

I will struggle to hold back if he makes a cock-up of your wedding day.

I can't help it, I'm your big sister. I want the best for you.

-Oh, Rosie!

-No, it'll be fine. It'll be fine.

Do you honestly believe that?

Poor Dave never stood a chance.

There was a revolt over the bridesmaids' dresses.

They're going back. We hate them.

-We genuinely hate them.

-They're amazing!

-We're not going to wear these dresses.

-Really?

-Really.

And things didn't even improve at their nautical wedding

when boat-hating Lucy had to face her worst fear.

I don't think I can do it!

I don't want to spend my day being sick or feeling sick.

Luce, come on, let's be happy.

-Rosie, it's fine for you to say that.

-What, can't you do it?

Is it cos you hate boats?

Oh, dear.

Is it cos you're worried about going on a boat?

Yeah, I just don't want to be the idiot that cries...

-You can't help it.

-I didn't want to be like this...

-Don't worry!

No, don't be silly! He's taken such a gamble. He's very lucky.

He's very, very lucky.

Right, let's get on the boat.

And even though she did get on board,

it was hard for her to shake off that sinking feeling.

If Don't Tell The Bride has taught us anything,

it's that planning a wedding is hard,

so agreeing to do it all on your own is already pretty mad,

especially if you're planning a wedding abroad.

My advice? Maybe make a checklist.

Passport - check. Tickets - checks.

Guests...

# I'm sexy and I know it... #

Remember muscle man Lloyd?

He was pumped at the idea of cementing his vows

with Victoria in the concrete jungle Muscle Beach in Los Angeles.

Definitely not a set-up wedding venue.

Unfortunately, his budget didn't stretch to flights for the guests

so this big strong groom decided to break the news to Victoria's family

from the safety of his mum's house.

I'm going to talk to them over the computer,

purely for the fact that I don't have the balls to do it in...

..in person, just in case I get a smack.

-ALL:

-Hi!

-Hello!

-You look scared.

-I am.

-We are terrified.

Well, I've kind of got something to tell you about the wedding.

You might need some of these...

-Oh, my God!

-You'll need one of these.

Oh, God! Oh, holy crap!

And you might need one of these, I'm afraid.

Shite.

-Where we going?

-California.

-Oh, my God!

I just need everyone to book some flights.

Oh, God!

-You look a bit shocked.

-Gobsmacked, mate.

-It will be amazing, what I've done.

-It'd better be, Lloyd.

-Right, I'm going to go, OK?

-Bye!

Ohhhh!

Fuck...

I am fuming.

The other night, she's sitting there

saying she didn't want to get married abroad.

And he's gone and done that. Laura can't go.

Laura went through school with her!

-I'm gutted for all of us, not just me.

-I can't believe what he's done.

I don't think Vicky'll be pleased, either.

Vicky'll be fuming, knowing that me and Lindsay won't be there,

you won't be there to give her away,

one of her best mates can't afford to go and Mum's stuck in the middle.

She'll be fuming. I'd be surprised if Vicky'll even go.

It is her big day, isn't it, Vicky's big day. I physically feel sick.

We won't be going. We won't be going, that's all there is to it.

Totally fucked off.

At the airport, Victoria discovered her only wedding guests

would be her mum and best mate.

So, is it just you two?

No-one else is coming?

Is this when they all walk through the door?

I'm gutted that no-one else could be here.

It's meant to be, like, the most happiest time ever

and now I just feel gutted that no-one else can do it.

After a 12-hour flight to LA...

# Just the two of us... #

..and with a very minimal guest list,

Victoria thought she'd at least have an intimate wedding.

I know. It's far from that, isn't it? Bloody hell!

Thank you.

# That girl's getting married

# She's getting married... #

But she was wrong - SO WRONG.

There seems to be a few people starting to sit in the stands.

They obviously like weddings.

# Just the two of us... #

Still, she did get a chance to flex her muscles.

We're not on Muscle Beach, are we? What the hell?!

Mainly the ones in your face you use to scowl.

Seriously? Really?!

It's a good job I love him, isn't it?

But that wasn't our only wedding abroad that almost didn't take off.

# A boy went back to Napoli... #

When Dan decided to prove to Kate that he could be romantic...

# Hey, mambo!

# Mambo italiano! #

..he planned a Romeo and Juliet-themed wedding

in Naples, Italy.

My dream has always been that.

Unfortunately, he ignored one small, but important detail

about Kate's adoring mum.

If it's out of the country, I couldn't go.

-You hate flying, don't you?

-I couldn't go.

His mother-in-law to be was terrified of flying.

If this goes wrong, I'm screwed.

What's the Italian for "good luck"?

-Bye, girls.

-Bye!

Conned into thinking she was heading off to a hen do in Naples,

Kate waved goodbye to her mum,

unaware she was actually off to her wedding.

Love you!

With the ceremony set-up under way in Italy,

Dan had one last big job to do -

drop the bombshell on Kate's mum that she'd need to get on a plane.

Jeez, my heart is beating so fast.

Hello, Christine?

Kate, as you know, has flown to Naples for her hen do

and that's where the wedding's going to be.

And I've paid for tickets for you to come to Napoli tomorrow

on a flight and I've booked you a hotel and accommodation as well.

I'm so... Honestly, Christine, I think you'll find

it's so amazing when you're here, honestly.

It didn't go well.

Bye.

Well, that was hard. It got a bit emotional.

You know, she's not the best flyer, at the end of the day,

and obviously it's going to panic her.

If she doesn't come to the wedding,

it could all end in tears.

All he could hope was that she'd confront her flying fears.

Cheers!

Happy hen do!

The next day, on her sham Italian hen do, the news that she wouldn't

be going back home to get married was about to be dropped on Kate.

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God!

-Thanks, Rich, are you all right?

Oh, my God!

"Once in a while, in the middle of an ordinary life,

"love gives us a fairy tale.

You are invited to join Dan Openshaw at our wedding in Italy."

Oh, my God!

But the fairy tale rapidly turned into a Shakespearean tragedy

as there was only one thing on Kate's mind.

I really, really want to know if my mum's coming.

To not see me get married, that is literally going to break her heart.

Fearing the worst, the girls headed back to the hotel.

Why's our door opening?

Nan!

SHE SCREAMS

Somehow, Romeo's call must have worked.

Oh, my God, you're here!

But our next groom had very different ideas -

like leaving his bride at the altar and flying off to sunnier climes.

Party boy Luke met his bride to be, Alex, in Ibiza

and fell in love...with her and the island.

So, when he planned his big day, he knew exactly where to do it.

It's really important for me to get married in Ibiza.

It's something that I've always wanted to do.

I think it's something that we should do.

That's where we fell in love.

However, there was trouble in paradise.

Unless you live on the island or are Catholic,

you can't legally get married there.

But Luke had a plan.

On what she thought was her big day,

Alex arrived at the registry office in London,

unaware this was going to be just a legal formality.

Now, placing the ring on your bride's finger...

And breathe, Luke!

No sooner was the ring on her finger

than her new husband was out the door.

-(We've got to go.)

-I'm not going now.

-(We've got to go now.)

-All right, I just need to talk to her for a second.

-(We've got to go.

(I'm sorry, we've got to.

(Just go and say to her, "Trust me," all right?

(Let's go.)

-Listen, I need a chat.

-Eh?

Come here, give me a kiss. I love you so much.

I love you, too.

-(It's not over. I've got to go.)

-Why?

-(Trust me.)

-What?!

-We've only just got married and you're leaving me!

-I've got to go.

I've really got to go so... I don't understand!

You're not supposed to understand.

# How you like me now? #

Yes, his plan was to leave her at the altar while he and his best man

set up a blessing in Ibiza that she would fly out to the next day.

He just hadn't told his new wife that.

What are we doing? What do I... Do I sit here?

-I've got married.

-Congratulations.

-But I haven't spent it with my bride. Shit.

-I know, I'm sorry.

I've never known anybody on their wedding day

to fly AWAY from their bride, so you have got it tough.

# How you like me now?

# How you like me now? #

The next day, word was sent to Alex to pack her bags

and get in a cab, and it didn't take her long to guess the destination.

I've seen the sign that it's going towards Gatwick.

Over in Ibiza, Luke was busy finishing off the preparations

for the blessing,

but he was starting to have concerns over having a wedding abroad.

Just as long as I can get everyone out here, that's when I can start...

..making some magic.

But there was a problem.

-RADIO TRAFFIC REPORT:

-The Blackwall Tunnel southbound remains closed.

This is causing all sorts of problems.

We've got, like, 20 minutes, 25 minutes.

We won't get there in 25 minutes.

-We won't get there in 25 minutes.

-We'll see.

If they don't get on the flight, then there is no wedding.

We've got just over ten minutes to get there.

He wants to hope we make it there in time,

otherwise he'll have no bride there.

-OK, I need to get...

-Zone K.

-Zone K.

I'm going to miss my own fucking wedding!

The next day, Luke and his wedding guests arrived at the blessing venue

and, despite it being one of the most complicated weddings

ever seen on Don't Tell The Bride,

Luke somehow pulled off his white wedding on the White Isle.

-CHEERING

-Bloody hell, you sod!

You'd think, when planning your special day,

you'd focus on the person you love and not the things you love.

For our grooms coming up,

it was less of an obsession about their brides and more,

"How can I make my hobby the focal point of this entire thing?"

Like having to wear these on your wedding day.

When it comes to having an all-consuming hobby,

roller-skating meant everything to Luke.

I love it to bits.

It's, like, my world.

But it wasn't Jaydene's obsession.

She was hoping her one big day would be a day without roller-skates.

How wrong she was!

-Your worst fear.

-Oh, God!

Sorry, Luke, but I just don't want to put them on.

-You don't want to put them on?

-No.

-Are you going to?

I just don't understand why he's making me

put roller-skates on when he knows I can't skate.

If you just try them on, cos they might feel all right once...

Cos Dan can obviously walk next to you.

I obviously don't want to hurt myself. That's the fear I've got.

-Has it upset you?

-It has upset me, because he's making it about him.

He's not thought of me in it. He knows I don't do skating, he knows.

But the fact that he knows I don't skate for a reason,

why is he making me do it on my wedding day?

If I have to say my vows in these, then I'm not doing it.

-Do you want to put them on and see how they feel?

-Yeah.

-All right.

-Put them on, give it a go.

I just can't understand why the frigging heck he's done this.

I just look like a tit.

He's got some answering to do.

He's going to get a fucking punch in the face!

I'm fucking on my wedding day on fucking roller-skates.

I'm going to frigging hit him!

Where the bloody hell is he?

-Jaydene, you need to go over to the computer.

-Oh, God!

So, if you just press this one here...

-Where the hell is...

-BEEPING

Oh, my God!

All right, boys, we've worked three weeks for this.

We've put together probably the biggest wedding of the decade

so I need you boys to be on point,

I need you to get your speeches right, so let's go out there,

let's get me married to the woman I love more than anything else

and let's give her a great show.

Let's go, boys, let's get this wedding going!

Come on!

# Our friends are so unreasonable

# They do the unpredictable

# All dots and lines that speak and say... #

I could fucking kill you!

# Spaceman... #

Still, that's nothing compared to our next space cadet.

I believe aliens have been playing

a part of human civilisation, existence

from the beginning of time.

They control the world and the Government

and the Government's hiding it from us.

Yes, Liam was obsessed with aliens.

So much so that on Liam's wedding day,

he wanted his lady in white to have the full Men In Black experience.

Excuse me, miss, if you could come this way, please.

So he boldly went where no groom had gone before.

We're on a military airbase with Men In Black, we've got soldiers

and we've got aliens - exactly what I said from the beginning.

So I've always stuck with my thing and this is my dream.

I thought it was going to be a nice day, though, that's the only thing.

It's better than my planet.

I don't suppose you've got all that global warming stuff going on.

No, yeah.

-No.

-No.

-Oh, my God!

-SIREN WAILS

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, my God, we're getting an escort.

Oh, my God, what is this?

Area secure. Open the gate.

Step out of the vehicle, please.

Oh, my God, what the hell is going on?

It's really grim, it's horrible.

I don't really want to be here on my wedding day.

Horrid, horrid, horrid!

What was he thinking?

Despite this being light years

from this bride's idea of a perfect wedding,

it was a close encounter they both couldn't wait to have.

And there wasn't a dry human eye in the house.

Welcome, earthlings!

Welcome to this intergalactic occasion.

It's about sharing happiness and laughter through the good times

and, most important, forgiving through the difficult times.

LAUGHTER

Difficult times... SHE GASPS

You know, like when you introduce your new wife

to her alien-autopsy-themed reception?

Ohhhh, that's horrible!

-Excuse me.

-Ohhh, that's horrible, Liam!

-Sorry.

-That's disgusting.

No... There's an alien in there!

-Eurgh, look at that!

-An autopsy.

I've been fortunate enough to experience my mind.

This is why I can't sleep at night.

Welcome to my world.

# Intergalactic, planetary

# Planetary, intergalactic

# Intergalactic, planetary

# Planetary, intergalactic... #

Please put your hands together for our brand-new bride and groom today,

Mr and Mrs Speirs!

Worrying about what their groom has in store for their big day

can push some brides to their limits,

so the hen do is the perfect opportunity

to take a break from the stress.

Whilst it's supposed to be the girls who are letting their hair down,

sadly often it's the grooms who are letting themselves down.

You can see my fanny!

No! Are you being serious?

There are many things you can get wrong when organising a hen do...

Is this it? Is this all I get?

..to avoid a disappointed bride.

How bloody mean! How mean!

So, step one in creating the perfect hen is to be super-organised.

So, nothing like Amy's, then.

You haven't even had any information about a hen night or anything.

What the hell's he doing?

Yeah, her groom Josh forgot to tell her about her hen do

till the very last minute.

I've cocked up. I've cocked up.

It was left to the best man to drop the bombshell.

Today is your hen do. You will have to be there for 6.30.

Oh, God... It doesn't leave you with a lot of time

-cos it's, like, three o'clock now.

-I'm speechless.

This is really short notice. This better not happen for my wedding.

-Why has he let us know three hours before?

-That's stupid.

With just a few hours notice, Amy got her hens together

and, after a speedy delivery of hen outfits,

the girls were ready to hit the town.

And, fortunately, he had organised a meal out...

I'm not going in there dressed like this.

..in an all-you-can-eat restaurant.

I am SO embarrassed.

I hate buffets, I hate getting up and getting my food.

Unfortunately, he then left them with a whopping bill.

-Does it say "free" on it?

-£237.

-You're joking.

-No, that can't be right.

If this is real, I'm going to go mental.

I didn't even want to come here and we've got to pay, like, 250 quid.

-Oh, my God!

-Cheers, Josh(!)

The next step is to make sure you don't turn the hen do into a joke.

-HELIUM VOICED:

-I'm marrying Charlie and it's all going to be fantastic!

Like Sean's best man did

when he called Nicole with the dress code for her hen do.

What do you need to wear? I don't know, summat fancy.

Yeah, fancy, yeah. Dressed up.

# Oh, girls just want to have fun... #

So, with their hair done and heels on,

the girls travelled an hour into town,

ready for a night out, only to discover...

We're going paintballing?

..the boys' big joke.

I swear to God, I'm not going paintballing.

-No, I'm not doing it.

-Have you seen what we've got on?

Do you know what's really annoyed me? Liam, "Get dressed up."

So, basically, they just want to make a fool of us, so that's it.

# War, huh, yeah... #

If I had trainers and stuff on, I'd do it. I'd be in there right now.

It's Liam that's ruined it by telling you to wear dressy clothes

-cos we'd happily do it if we were dressed.

-Exactly. I just want to go.

That was one heinous hen do.

The final step is to make sure the hen do isn't, well, really boring.

Spare a thought for Nicky.

She was enjoying herself on a girlie weekend with her mum in Venice.

He's not bad. He was good-looking and all.

That was until her history-obsessed groom Nathan got involved.

You look like a bit of a knob.

He decided to spice up her holiday with a surprise history tour.

Is this going to be boring?

Regardless of the fact she finds history really dull.

How quickly the tears dried!

Oh!

What?!

# That's amore... #

This was the richest and most powerful city

in the Mediterranean Sea before the discovery of America.

This section here was built in the 15th century,

early 15th century, 1430, and then you have the full centre arch.

Well, I tell you, we can continue then.

I can actually see her eyes glazing over.

This may not impress you, but 1063 is definitely something.

-It is something.

-Imagine - 940 years old.

-Yeah.

-Still standing.

Yeah, it's really something.

And did she learn anything from Nathan's little treat?

I have learned that I love history...

this much.

Oh, well!

THEY CHEER

But Zindzi's hen do started out far from boring.

It was all champagne and smiles at her house.

And, as she travelled through London...

Where are we going?

..she had sky-high ambitions that her groom Louis

could pull off something fabulous.

Oh, my God, we're going to The Shard!

But hubby-to-be Louis and best man Ben had other ideas.

We're at fucking Ben's workplace.

-Ben works here, we're at Ben's work.

-Who does he work for?

-What does he do?

-He makes fucking creams.

-They're going to be doing what you do.

-Yeah, what I do at work.

I'm an aromatherapist production assistant.

I make moisture creams, moisture lotions.

Whoever don't like it is ungrateful and they're spoilt.

Why are we here?!

That'll be your bride, then.

It takes about five minutes.

Yep, the girls were given in-depth tuition

on how to make organic face creams.

But the only thing on Princess Zindzi's face

was a look of absolute boredom.

Oh, no, mine smells like shit.

Her trip to a South London industrial estate

did teach her one thing, though.

Pride often comes...

before a fall.

This is the worst hen do ever!

So, we've seen some of the maddest and baddest wedding ideas

to ever grace our screens on Don't Tell The Bride.

But what about the most dangerous?

No, you're right, that would be stupid.

It's not like any loving groom would want to put his blushing bride

through actual physical danger. Not on the biggest day of her life.

Well, not unless you're these guys.

Practical joker John was determined

to give his bride Jackie a wedding she'd never forget.

Everything from ordering a nose-shaped cake

because she hates her nose...

This could make the wedding day.

..to redecorating the wedding venue with kitten toilet seats.

But his craziest idea was organising a skydive.

Jackie Burns is skydiving today. Yes!

Because, on the most romantic day of your life,

why wouldn't you throw your bride out of a plane?

No-one will be predicting this. This looks amazing.

Come the big day, though, John's plans to send her to an airfield

didn't quite get the reaction he wanted.

# I predict a riot... #

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, are we going in a plane somewhere?

Oh, my God, I'm petrified of flying.

-Oh, my God, there is...

-Jackie, see if he's going to try

and do a skydive or something, I can't do it.

Neither can I. I can't. I can't do it.

And her mood didn't get any better when she got inside the hangar.

This is probably the worst possible idea...

..for the morning of the wedding.

I think John's an arsehole.

With the bridesmaid in tears, Jackie had to make a decision.

OK, I'll do it.

What if I die? What if I actually die?

Amazingly, John wasn't the only groom

to have this daring and dangerous idea.

Skydiving to a wedding -

it's not anything that's ever been done on the airfield before.

Two years later, and adrenaline junkie Craig

decided his childhood sweetheart Ellie should be put

in exactly the same position as Jackie.

The morning of her wedding, Ellie, dressed in her traditional dress

and driven in a traditional car...

Are we at an airport?

Are we flying somewhere?

..soon realised that her day was going to be anything but traditional.

-Do you want to tell her?

-Hello, Jackie.

-Hi!

-I'm Chris.

-We're going to jump out of an aeroplane together.

-Oh, my God!

-Yep, her dream of a church wedding had come crashing down.

-I'm scared.

I'm really scared.

Still, a quick prayer couldn't hurt...

for both her and her mum.

-Are you all right?

-Oh, I don't want her to go in a plane!

Despite being horrified, Ellie made the same brave decision as Jackie

and pulled on a parachute.

So, with Ellie in her birdie onesie and Jackie in her jumpsuit...

..these two women both made Don't Tell The Bride history

as they chose to take a leap of faith...

..in the name of love.

# I'm going to swing from the chandelier

# From the chandelier

# I'm going to live like tomorrow doesn't exist... #

HE LAUGHS

# Like it doesn't exist

# I'm going to fly like a bird through the night... #

CHEERING

Look!

CHEERING

# Won't look down Won't open my eyes

# Keep my glass full until morning light

# Cos I'm just holding on for tonight

# Help me, I'm holding on for dear life... #

APPLAUSE

SHE CHEERS

That is a feeling that you can't even put into words.

It is absolutely amazing!

Amazing!

Nailed it! Nailed it, nailed it!

I'm still going to punch him.

That was Craig and Ellie and John and Jackie,

two of Don't Tell The Bride's highest-flying couples.

The grooms probably proved something we already knew -

even though they were mad, bad and dangerous,

it certainly would have been a lot less fun without them.

That's it for our craziest ever moments - I hope you've enjoyed it.

I've had an absolute blast and I'll see you next time.

# Love is in the air

# Love is in the air... #

There will be loving,

-there will be loathing...

-Do I like it? Do I look like I like it?

-And there will be shouting...

-One more word!

..on Don't Tell The Bride: Bridezillas...

I've had enough now, Mum. This is my wedding day.

..and Bromances.

-Best mates.

-Awww!

I don't care. Turn that camera off.

# You fall in love, zing-boom

# The sky up above, zing-boom

# Is caving in, wow-bam

# You've never been so nuts about a guy

# You want to laugh, you want to cry

# You cross your heart and hope to die

# When you fall in love. #