Bridezillas & Bromances Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains strong language.

Over ten brilliant series, we've shown how to plan a wedding like no-one else.

I'm Stacey Dooley and tonight it's battle of the sexes.

-We'll see the boys buddy up...

-Mate...

-..and the girls melt down.

Do I like it? Do I look like I like it?

As we relive some of the incredible bromances...

-I love you.

-He loves me!

..and jaw-dropping bridezilla moments.

I've had enough now, Mum. This is my wedding day.

So brace yourselves as the grooms head off with their best men,

and the brides kick off the only way they know how.

On this week's show, I've been given exclusive access to the Don't Tell

The Bride archives to bring you some of their most entertaining moments.

There'll be loving,

there'll be loathing...

I'm having a panic attack.

..and there will be fireworks.

One more word!

One more!

..as the boys have three weeks and £12,000...

I should kill him and I mean that.

..to plan the perfect day.

I love you.

This is Don't Tell The Bride - Bridezillas and Bromances.

I don't care. I beg you, turn that camera off. No.

Let's start the show with the couple we are all-too-familiar with.

From the moment they hit our screens,

we just knew they were a match made in heaven.

No, I'm not talking about the bride and groom.

I'm talking groom and best man.

These are the bromances that swept us off our feet.

To organise a wedding in three weeks...

-We're talking about wedding dress, rings, suits...

-Ooft.

..you need more than a best man.

You need your brother in arms...

-Hello.

-Can you open up, mate? It's your partner in crime.

-Certainly is.

Wa-hey!

..to listen to your terrible ideas...

-It needs to be a zombie apocalypse wedding.

-That's stupid, Ally.

We're talking 1970s Lycra, we're talking mothership's just landed.

..to get the party started...

..be there when it all goes wrong...

Ah, I've saved you, baby!

I just want to go home, man.

..and go above and beyond.

Oh, my God!

..in the name of bromance.

I love you SO much!

Take Ryan and his blushing, er, best man, Matt.

You may kiss the bride.

The bride he was supposed to be kissing was Fern.

Love you.

Love you.

But these two got so carried away, they kind of forgot that.

When Ryan and Matt get together they do become like kids

sometimes and it does become all about them.

But they do need to remember that this is my big day

that I've been dreaming of since I was a little girl,

so they need to get it perfect.

The wedding day might be about the bride,

but the three weeks before...

Well, that was going to be all about these two.

It's all about my last two weeks of freedom, isn't it, now?

Spending it with me.

Spending it with Matty.

My best man.

Yep. These two were completely inseparable.

I feel disgusting.

You actually look disgusting, though, Matt, today.

Cheers.

You look like you smell.

Get off.

And when they finally got out of bed to do some venue hunting...

Well, it wasn't long until they were kicking back again.

If me and Fern don't get married here, I think me and you should.

MUSIC: Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal

Then, on Ryan's wild stag do in Prague...

# We're all on a stag do nah nah nah nah hey

# Nah nah nah nah hey... #

..this groom and best man marked

their bromance with a permanent reminder.

How do you want...? Do you want me pants off, then?

Yep. These pair of chums got matching bum tattoos.

Aw.

# Close to you

# La la-la la la... #

I'll remember this weekend for the rest of me life.

# Close to you... #

Then there was the bromance between best man Jim and groom Jonny.

# Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? #

They fell for each other when they met pulling pints.

Jim's one of the best guys I've ever worked with, actually.

They're so close, Jonny even allowed Jim to

move into his one-bedroom flat he shared with his bride, Ayca.

Jim! Oh, my God. Jim!

Please can you cover up? It's my living room.

Look at the state of this, your cigarettes, your flipping glasses...

Don't chuck my stuff everywhere.

Look at the way you've chucked everything everywhere here.

Put those on now.

Apparently I'm not allowed to live here when they're married.

Basically, it's a race against time for me to try

and win Jonny's heart.

So with Ayca out of the picture...

Jim knew the quickest way to Johnny's heart was through his kidneys.

To the wedding!

And it also turned out to be the quickest way off the sofa bed.

-Morning.

-Morning.

I don't think Ayca'd be too happy if she knew that the first thing

we did was go out on the town.

She just doesn't understand how we work, but.

In this bromance, this doting duo would do anything for each other.

Whoo!

So when it was time to go wedding dress shopping,

Jim had Jonny's back.

-What do you think about this?

-What do you think?

Have you got a human model to model the dresses for us?

Do you even want to, like, maybe just go out and try to find someone?

-Yeah, sure.

-Just off the street?

Although chasing after girls to try on wedding dresses was

all in the line of duty for this best man.

We will find someone. We will.

Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

Excuse me.

Sorry. Please, can you save my life?

-Oh, yes!

-Mission accomplished.

And when Jonny was at his lowest point...

I can't sleep! I can't sleep! The house is a mess.

Bed's broke.

Argh!

..Jim was there to pick up the pieces...

Hello, room!

..and clean the flat for the first time ever.

But the biggest demonstration of Jim's love for Jonny had to

be on the wedding day.

And he gave Ayca the ultimate present.

Now you're married and it's going to be really weird

if I'm in your house,

I want to give you your house key back.

And wish you all the best.

But the course of true bromance doesn't always run as smoothly.

Especially when it involves planning a wedding on the hedonistic

island of Ibiza.

And gallons of booze.

Party boy Luke and his best man, Jay, met six years ago

when they were working in a bar and it's been a bromance ever since.

I love him to bits.

And I will do whatever I can to make sure this works.

But organising a wedding abroad wasn't as easy as they expected.

Mate, are you coming or not?

Stressed to the max, they ended up taking it out on each other.

What are you walking off for?

Oh, you're going to walk off again? Jay!

Knobhead. What you doing walking off, then?

And I'm sitting here asking where you are? "Where's Jay? Where's Jay?"

-And then you walk off.

-I'm having a discussion. You're shouting.

And then we have another discussion and you walk off again.

Stop shouting.

I don't like it if you just walk away from me.

We're supposed to be in this together.

You can't walk away from me.

We are in this together, but I've not shouted at you.

For five years I've known you, I've never fucking...

-I wasn't shouting at you!

-Look at you! Look how tense you are!

Turn into a normal person.

Turn back into the person you are and I'll speak to you.

I'm not talking to you like this.

I don't understand what you mean.

Never, ever have me and Jay ever been like that.

That's why there's the stress,

because he wants to do it for Alex,

who's the most important person in his world, and I want to do

it for him cos he's one of the most important people in my world.

Yeah, these best mates learned not to let wedding woes come between bros.

You get the opportunity to plan a wedding,

and I can't even do it.

So of course Jay was there to give him a hug...

But what do you know about planning weddings?

You know nothing about planning weddings.

..and wipe away those tears.

Mate, I know it's stressful.

I didn't realise how stressful it would be.

We just need to carry on,

don't we?

Shake it off and keep going.

In the end, with the support of his best mate and best man,

Luke managed to pull off an epic Ibiza wedding.

Hell of a wedding, pal.

Hell of a wedding. I just want to thank you.

I just want to thank you for everything.

I just want to say thank you, man.

Me being able to plan so much of the biggest day of your life

has been present enough, dude.

# I'm glad you came I'm glad you came... #

Of course, planning a wedding in just three weeks puts the groom

and best man under serious pressure.

But what about the bride?

Some of the unusual situations our grooms have put our brides in have

left them thinking, "Why on Earth did I allow him to arrange this?"

And so sometimes, the inner diva just has to come out.

Get me out of this dress, now!

Ugh, bleh!

I'm not wearing this.

Even the most reasonable brides...

It's like he's put a dead cat on me.

..can have bridezilla moments...

Mum, it's not your wedding!

I'm just talking.

I want to get it off. I don't like it.

I'm not playing this game. I want to get it off.

..Especially when their dream dress...

It's a dirty horrible dress! It's got tears in it.

I absolutely hate the lights. He's ruined a beautiful dress.

..turns into a nightmare.

She is refusing to wear it tomorrow. She's turning into bridezilla.

She never wanted that.

And when it came to Pippa's idea of a horrific wedding dress,

that was just one thing that really pushed her buttons.

Well, I'm seeing lots of dresses that don't have buttons on,

so I'm quite happy by that. I do hate buttons. I feel sick now.

Can we do this already?

Unfortunately, her groom Tony had chosen a dress with - you guessed it.

Oh, my God. Look at all the buttons.

I think that's really pretty and I think it's going to look gorgeous.

I know you don't like buttons, but you're not going to see them.

Yeah, but it's not like there's just ten on there...

Goes right down to the bottom.

-But you're not going to...

-Mum, I'll put it on, OK?

It's a lovely dress.

Yeah, well, we'll see.

Oh, wow. I think that's gorgeous.

So do I, actually.

I think that is stunning.

It's got a sparkle in that.

-Oh...

-Oh, God.

Oh...

Well, what don't you like?

My hips.

I don't think... You can't tell.

But you keep saying that, but I can see them.

Like, I'm not stupid.

Do you want me to ring Tony

and say that you don't want to wear the dress?

-Just tell him I don't like it.

-Well, it's your choice.

-Like, I can ring Tony.

-Yeah, but why are we having a discussion?

I've said ring him.

That's really spoiled, Philippa.

I asked you before we came to support me.

-You don't like the dress.

-Do I like it? Do I look like I like it?

-All right.

-If I have to wear it, I have to wear it.

Right, I'm going to go and ring him.

She don't like the dress, Ton.

So, what? She's not going to wear it, or...?

I don't think she's going to wear it, no.

She thinks it makes her hips look really big.

Ah, that's fucking ridiculous.

With Tony's approval, Pippa swapped the dress for one without buttons.

It's pretty.

Yeah, that is pretty.

-That's really cute.

-I think it's lovely with that little thing on.

Yeah. Oh, it's so pretty!

It's quite a Sound Of Music wedding dress, don't you think?

Once the dress was right, Bridezilla was no more

and Pippa was Pippa once again.

It doesn't help in some cases that brides aren't used to handing

over control of anything,

let alone their wedding dress.

Like when Alex allowed Mark to plan her wedding.

I think it's the biggest privilege I could give him is to plan my wedding

and I think he's incredibly lucky that I trust him enough

and love him enough

that I've given him the opportunity to do it.

She may have wanted a simple, elegant, 1920s style dress.

-Is it anything like you imagined?

-No.

But choosing a dress for a woman who likes to wear the trousers,

Mark was on a hiding to nothing.

I hate this. I hate this.

Try it on, though. Try it on.

It is horrible.

It's awful. I literally am shocked.

Like, I thought he would actually get it right.

Oh...

I hate it even more.

How do you think Mark would feel?

Do you think you could compromise with this dress?

No.

-Hello.

-All right, mate? Are we OK to pick another dress?

That was just... That was a phone call that

I've just to put up with. Yeah, obviously she doesn't like it, so...

So Mark let Alex pick her own dress, because... Well...

Why didn't he see this one in the window?

How could he have missed this one?

She made him.

I think when he sees me in the dress he'll realise how good it looks

and actually that, yeah, I did make the right decision.

Like I always do.

While some brides know exactly what type of dress

they want their grooms to choose,

others only seem to know what they don't want.

Just like Trish.

I do look like Malibu Barbie. No, I don't like any of it.

It looks like I'm a 60-year-old woman

trapped in a 30-year-old woman's body.

This is not a wedding dress. It looks like it's from a charity shop.

You've definitely ruled out the net, the tulle, big meringue,

you've ruled out fishtail, you've ruled out all the other styles.

It's just a very confused dress.

-It doesn't know what it wants.

-No.

It's just so fussy.

What? The dress is fussy?

Just when we thought this bride would never be happy,

she found the perfect dress.

This is absolutely stunning.

I hope he picks something like that.

It's got to at least live up to this, cos if it doesn't

I think I'll kill him.

With so many styles of dress having been ruled out by Trish,

poor groom Kev didn't stand a chance

when it came to her seeing the dress he'd chosen.

Beautiful!

Trish, it's lovely!

-Wow!

-Trish, you look stunning!

-Why?

-I just don't like it.

-Why?

It's just a stupid hoop underneath it for a start, which is,

like, back to the 18th century.

And look at the ridiculous shoes.

I don't like this. It's horrible. I don't like it.

-You don't have to wear it.

-I don't want it. I want it off.

You don't have to wear it.

It's the most stupid thing I've seen in my life.

-I think it's stunning, I really do.

-I think it's lovely.

I'll wear my own clothes.

Can't make me wear a wedding dress.

You geared yourself up to act like that anyway,

I've got to be honest with you.

No, I'm not putting up with it! I'm not. No. No!

-And you love Kev?

-I'm not so sure any more.

Her dress drama released the diva.

But he will see tomorrow, when I'm walking down the aisle,

he will see my face,

and he will know that this is not the dress I want to get married in.

-Do you want to sit down?

-Yeah.

-It's all right.

-It's OK.

I'm having a panic attack.

Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to call Kev.

I want to either do something to it or change it, that's it.

I'm not wearing this.

I'm going to call him.

Hello, Kev. Trisha's just tried her dress on.

And she really ain't happy with it.

She's, like, she's in a right old state, crying.

She's had a panic attack and everything, babe,

so, like, can we change dress with your permission?

I've spoken to Kev.

It's not good news.

No, I'm joking.

He said that... I'm sorry, I was only joking.

He said that he wants you to be happy on your big day

and of course you can change it because he wants you to feel good.

Seriously, you need to get out of this whole

depressive thing.

Panic over, another dress was plucked from the rails which was

pretty much perfect.

-Wow!

-Oh, my God. That is the one.

You look stunning. Do you like it?

Yeah, it's beautiful.

-Do you feel excited now?

-Yeah, I actually do.

I don't care about anything else.

I feel like I can take on the world in this dress.

On the big day, it all looked

so promising as Trish arrived in her beautiful dress.

That was until she found out that her groom Kev had decided they were

getting married at 60,000 feet before sky-diving out of the plane.

As far as I'm concerned, this is now Kev's day.

It's nothing to do with us. Nothing to do with me.

This is all about Kev.

And we're going to go along with it, whatever Kev wants us to do,

and then after, I'll start my life

and we'll have to deal with the consequences.

If choosing her dress summoned forth the inner diva...

Look, this is really silly.

..imagine how she felt swapping it for a jumpsuit.

I don't want to walk up the carpet.

Ladies first, eh, guys?

I'm not jumping, by the way.

Oh, my God!

Seb, she's not jumping, mate.

This is the worst day of my life right now.

Kev's plan had gone down like a lead balloon.

It's gone tits up, but we've just got to get Trish and Kev

dressed as quick as possible and try and chill 'em both out a bit.

That's that, really. We've just got to try and save what we can.

And with a little help from the best man,

he managed to find a new location for the ceremony.

Just as Trish had wanted.

It's the most stupidest idea you've ever had in your whole entire

-life and it happens to be our wedding.

-It's close.

I've had some bad decisions.

No, no, this has been the worst decision you've ever made.

-What, marrying you or the...?

-No.

Despite a stormy start...

I love you.

..they both ended up on cloud nine.

CHEERING

For the girls, the perfect wedding requires the perfect dress.

But for some of the guys, it's all about the stag do.

It's the perfect male-bonding experience.

Putting your bromance first can sometimes get you into trouble.

Especially when it comes to your stag.

Over the eight years, we've seen it all.

There's been hugging,

kissing,

groping,

and spanking.

Yeah. Yeah, I feel good.

I love you.

He loves me!

But just like there are rules for planning a wedding,

there are also rules when it comes to planning the stag.

Well, if you want a happy bride, that is.

Argh...

# I don't care I love it... #

Rule one. Don't spend more on your stag than the hen.

Cheers, boys!

Who can forget Luke? He had one vision for his last night of freedom.

Well, more like three nights...

Seriously, no talk of wedding, right?

It's stressed me out enough, right?

I've come away for these three days to be a child.

..as him and his mates headed off around Europe on an amusement

park extravaganza...

Whoa!

..costing a whopping two and a half thousand pounds.

But you'd think if he was splashing the cash around,

the girls' hen would have been something special,

right?

DOORBELL RINGS

What on Earth is that?

Wrong.

That's my bottle of wine.

Sadly, the only thing Luke paid for was a takeaway and leftover alcohol.

We have pizza.

To be fair, we're probably going to have to put some crumpets on,

aren't we? By the end of the night.

However, he soon had to face the music

when he was confronted by the bridesmaids.

Where have you been?

Where have you been?

I went to Barcelona.

You went to Barcelona!

Did two theme parks in three days.

-That's all right. We're fine. We're all good.

-And we got...

-How much did we get? £27?

-£30, actually.

£30?

Jay's going to kill you. I hope you know that.

Well, she didn't go that far.

But she wasn't going to let him forget it.

I'm not impressed with the stag do.

No?

At least Luke's foreign stag do went without a hitch.

Unlike this lot.

Rule two. No man gets left behind.

Meet groom Andy. When he planned the big day for his bride-to-be, Hannah,

him and his mates also took the chance to plan a super

stag in Eastern Europe

involving a party bus, countless beers, and some topless dancing.

Standard.

Honestly, mate. You are a hero.

I could not have picked a better man.

Fellas! Cheers. Cheers there without Alex...

Oh, God...

But on the morning of their departure,

hangovers were the least of their concerns.

Jason, where's my wallet?

I don't know.

As Alex, one of the stags, had lost his passport.

We need to leave for the airport in two hours.

We're basically screwed.

We need to figure out a way of getting Alex home without

a passport.

This is the only thing I've not organised.

It's been fantastic.

But I might not be able to go home.

But as Alex resigned himself to an extended stay,

groom Andy pulled a rabbit out the hat.

-Well, a passport actually.

-Passport.

In the steam room.

All his clothes, his passport, his wallet, everything,

on the floor in the steam room like he's just evaporated.

Ah, that's what friends are for.

Rule three.

Don't turn your wedding venue into a big old party

house like the next groom.

# I don't look for trouble but trouble looks for me... #

When Adam hired a fancy £5 million house for his wedding day,

he wanted to spoil his bride.

Wow! Look at that!

That is absolutely massive. Over the top. Huge house.

Let me pick my jaw up off the floor a minute.

Jesus, that would completely blow her mind.

Or so he said,

but it wasn't just Lydia that Adam had in mind when he chose his venue.

-It's unbelievable.

-This is what we were looking for, mate.

-Really, when you think about the wow factor.

-Yeah.

You can actually be a celebrity for four days, can't we?

People would be talking about it for months, wouldn't they?

Or would future wife Lydia be talking to Adam when she found out

he'd moved all his mates in three days before the big do?

And they certainly made themselves at home.

They had a rave-up,

got naked,

and slapped each other's bottoms.

All in his wedding venue.

Mm. Looks like they all got a bit carried away.

Hope their heads weren't too sore in the morning.

Rule four. If you're going to organise your own stag do,

make sure it's everyone's cup of tea.

I'm going to have some cake, big time.

History-loving Nathan ignores everyone's advice and dragged his

friends and his future brother-in-law for a dainty afternoon tea.

It's not going to sit well with you in the family, this.

It's not the best start you've got off to.

I just feel weird to think I'm going to be marrying your sister,

like, soon.

That pales into insignificance.

You've brought me to a cream tea in the middle of London.

The boys hoped for D cups, but all they got were tea cups.

Everyone goes drinking, partying hard on a stag do.

To go to a hotel and have cream tea, scones and poncey cakes...

What a numb nut.

# You've gotta fight for your right to party... #

But if there's only one rule every groom

and his best man should know, it's that what goes on tour stays on tour.

Or be prepared to face the consequences.

Meet Ahmet and his bride-to-be Daina,

who only had one fear for her groom's stag.

If he goes to a strip club, he knows how I'm going to react.

-Make her all dance up on his lap and everything.

-Oh, my gosh.

I've lost my appetite.

Literally, my stomach just turned when you said that.

I imagined a stripper

dancing in front of Ahmet. Don't get me angry.

But Daina's fears were soon realised

when, roped in by best man Nathan, Ahmet ended up in a lap dance club.

This is one thing I did not want.

I don't know why Nathan's took me here to a strip club.

-Like, I don't understand that.

-Right, let's do this.

All right, havin' a bit of fun in there, wa-hey!

Wa-hey, get in there, Sonny Jim!

Oh, Ahmet got a nasty little dance, you know?

Two lovely birds shaking it like wiggle-wiggle-wiggle, you know?

Oh, yeah, they bought me...

They all chipped together and bought me a dance but

I just sat there and closed my eyes just like,

"OK, you're wasting your money."

They're all laughing, laughing, laughing.

I just want to go, man.

I want Daina.

When Ahmet finally saw his bride on the big day,

the stag was a distant memory.

Or so he thought.

-Where did you go?

-Went to a club.

-What club?

-Boozy club.

Did you go to a strip club?

-I didn't go to a strip club.

-Were there strippers there?

Do you know what...

-Ahmet, there were strippers there?!

-Daina!

Daina. Daina. Daina!

-Listen.

-I don't care. I beg you, turn that camera off. No!

There were strippers there?

Nathan brought me there.

-There were strippers there?

-Don't get twisted, Daina.

-I just want to get out the car.

-I never disrespected you.

Ahmet and Daina's wedding looked like it was going to end in tears,

no matter how much he explained...

My defence is I got taken there

and nothing else appeals to me but you.

..or grovelled.

-You should know, Daina, I only have eyes for you.

-I don't care.

-You should know that.

-I don't care.

The fact that, yeah, I was there, OK. I understand.

-I understand fully.

-Whatever. Can we just do this?

All right.

But then Daina saw the banquet he'd laid on for her.

This is my designing. What do you think?

Yes! You like our chairs?

I'm shocked.

This is us.

-Like I said, you're my queen, do you know?

-You didn't do this.

I didn't do this? I didn't do this?

-No, you didn't.

-Yes, I did.

I did do it! Oh, my gosh!

Everything here is my creation.

This is really nice. It's really, really nice.

I still don't believe you, though.

-I think I deserve a kiss on the cheek.

-Don't you... No, you don't.

-Come on.

-And all was forgiven.

You done amazing.

I couldn't have planned it better.

How do you feel about the kiss?

You earned more than a kiss.

-Oh!

-But that's not for the cameras.

Uh-huh. Yep.

Just a second.

When it comes to the perfect wedding,

sometimes it's not just the bride who

can demonstrate prima donna tendencies.

Yeah, when the bride is just going with the flow,

sometimes it's the mother who can't hold back.

Mum. Yep.

I'm-I'm just filming, so can I call you back?

James, it's your mother-in-law.

Oh, hello, mother-in-law.

When it comes to ensuring their little girl...

Mum, what is that?

Mum, what is that? Mum, what is that?

..has a very special day.

I will turn into the mother-in-law from hell

if he messes up.

Most loving mothers find it impossible to keep shtoom.

Shitburger!

This is absolute shit.

And no-one knows how to lay down the law...

What is he playing at?

I can't pretend I'm happy cos I'm not.

..like a mother-in-law.

Just do as your future mother-in-law tells you, Dan, OK?

# Mother-in-law... #

Remember when Luke was left in charge of Ellis's wedding?

Her mum, Dee, had her concerns.

You baby doll.

Luke is so laid back

that I do worry that he might not be able to pull it off.

Even when he nailed the wedding dress...

ALL: Aw!

-I love it. I love it.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Are you proud of him?

-Yeah.

..he didn't stay in the good books for long.

-What about a veil? Are you allowed a veil?

-Yeah.

THEY GASP

ALL: Shut up! No way!

No way! That's fucking horrible! It's awful.

Are you having us on?

I'm not.

The money he's spent on that dress, it's wasted now,

cos it looks a twat.

-Oh, don't get upset.

-You're all being horrible.

-We're not being horrible. We're being honest.

-You're being horrible. Make me feel like shit.

You go and have a look. Tell me you think that looks nice.

Yeah, it might not look nice but there's obviously a point to it,

do you know what I mean? It's fun.

I don't see you laughing.

But he has dropped a big bollock with that veil.

Why bother with the gown, the traditional beautiful gown -

why bother to stick that on your fucking head?

From one tough mother to another!

When Anthony married Lauren,

he decided to do a comic book theme wedding.

I want to go superhero, super villain, comic book.

Unfortunately, his arch-comic-book nemesis turned out to be

Lauren's rather protective mother, Carolyn.

My princess daughter deserves a princess wedding.

-Hello, darling.

-Hello, Mummy.

I just hope that Ant gets it right, cos I wouldn't like to see my

daughter upset and I don't think he'd like to see me upset.

Yikes! So when Anthony's alternative wedding invitations turned up...

Oh, my God! I knew it.

..he went from superhero to big fat zero.

I don't think he'll say anything, actually.

Cos it's comic theme,

and we all knew it was going to be comic theme.

And if he makes a laughing stock of her and the wedding's comic theme,

I shall kill him and I mean that.

Things didn't get any better

when her little princess bride hated her wedding dress.

Oh, God. No.

So this mother-in-law to be...

Why should you make a compromise, because Ant's been a stupid dick?

..mustered her mummy superpowers and read Anthony the riot act.

-Hello.

-'I'm afraid the dress'

on Lauren, it just really wasn't what she, um,

'sort of envisaged herself in.'

What? For fuck's sake.

'I don't know what we're going to do because I haven't got'

the cash left. I've got £650.

-Well, we'll have to go in and find a dress for £650.

-OK.

All right. Cool. All right. Bye.

'It's a mistake that's caused a lot of heartache and grief'

and we're running out of time and my daughter gets married tomorrow.

And I can't sew.

Now we're proper fucked.

The bridal shop won't give a refund, cos that's not what they do.

So I've got to find a dress for £650,

which is going to be impossible.

So I don't know what do.

Mother knowing best is one thing, but what about a mum who's been

dreaming about her daughter's big day for 23 years?

It's every girl's dream.

Spare a thought for Nicola and Nathan,

because when it came to their wedding,

Nicola's mum knew exactly what she wanted.

It's not only Nicky's hopes and dreams,

it's my hopes and dreams over the last 20...20 years.

What if I don't like it and you do?

-Then I'm the bride.

-HER MUM LAUGHS

What I say goes.

-What you say goes?

-Yeah.

Everything.

Everything depends on this day.

Everything.

World peace, global warming -

everything.

Early signs weren't good

when she found out it might not be the church wedding she'd hoped for.

I ain't happy, Nick.

This is the biggest day, one of the biggest days of your life.

-Yeah, but the day...

-I've tried to keep my feelings to myself,

so not to upset you and not to wind you up, and that,

but really, already you're saying a register office.

I don't know if it is or not.

I'm sorry, no, you may as well get married in a pub car park

or in a public outdoor,

-as get married in a register office.

-I don't know.

I'm sorry. I mean, I'm sorry, now.

I just don't agree with it.

# It's wonderful... #

Nicola's mum always dreamt of going to Paris to choose her

daughter's dress, so this trip was bound to cheer her up.

-HORN HONKS

-Oh, it's awful.

You look like one of those ten-pins. I'm sorry.

It's awful. I'm sorry.

'I've built up to be such a dream'

that I really don't think the dress I imagined exists.

Whose dress?

If that dress was total ballerina-style to the floor,

then sticky-out,

with lots of diamantes on,

and then some sort of diamante trim here,

with perhaps a brooch there - a diamante brooch -

to pick up the sparkle, and then the crown.

That would be the perfect dress.

Quite specific, then.

It's huge.

You don't like it?

No?

No.

No, I don't.

I'm sorry, no.

So, the hunt for mum's dream diamante dress continued.

I like the one in the window with the bow.

No detail?

With, you know, the diamante and that.

Absolutely lovely.

It's...

It's classic.

Hmm, but where are the diamantes?

But couldn't you have, as well, just...?

Here's Mum with the diamantes. Let's go.

Just something diamante there for a...

In the middle of the bow?

Yeah, like a little brooch or something, and then...

It's both our dresses.

See? She could compromise.

When it came to the day to reveal the real dress, Mum was feeling positive.

I'm not going to like it.

She's going to look like a loo-roll holder.

OK, Mum.

-Oh, it's the best dress ever.

-It's stunning.

It's stunning.

MUSIC: All About You by McFly

'When I saw the dress, it was perfect.'

'He just knows her through and through,'

and he knows...

He also knows me.

He must do, because that was my dream dress.

Whose dress?

# It's all about you

# It's all about... #

When it came to the big day,

Mum didn't get her dream church,

but she did realise whose wedding it really was.

I suppose I was jealous -

jealous in a way.

I was handing her over and it just broke my heart, really,

but she doesn't need me any more. She's...

She's going to rely on Nathan.

'In fact, I'm so proud. I really am.'

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

GLASS CHIMES

The best best men are helpful, supportive,

and above all, always there for the groom,

but sometimes, just sometimes,

there are a few bromances that don't go that smoothly.

Who can forget Sean and his best man Liam?

These two might have been childhood friends,

but when it came to planning the wedding,

the boys were definitely not singing from the same hymn sheet,

or spell book.

So, I want the wedding to be, like, a Harry Potter theme wedding.

'I'm a really big Harry Potter fan.'

Like that... Definitely stuff like that.

-Do you know what I mean?

-To be honest with you,

I don't really like wizards and witches and whatnot.

I'm more of a sport guy, and I've not got a clue, wizards and witches.

I never watch films on stuff like that.

-Cauldron.

-Cauldron?

-Caul-dron.

Caul-dron...

Sean wanted a forest setting for his wizard wedding,

but when Liam tried to help, it fell on deaf ears.

People will be wearing high heels.

They can't get nettled. They'd have bare skin.

Well, I'd obviously sort, like, some of the things out.

Right, are you going to come and do some manual labour?

Cos let's face it, you can do anything manual. Can you?

Despite these big trees in the way it'll be all right.

-They won't be a problem.

-Are you going to cut them down?

With your help, yeah.

Right, there, we could sit in, like, a circle,

and then, like, we could have, like, the thing, like, here.

And then, like, the owl...

Like, the owl can fly up, like, in. Do you know what I mean?

It's too much, this, isn't it?

Why?

I think that we'll have to keep looking for different venues.

And when it came to a little bit of "wedmin",

there was always going to be one winner in Liam's mind.

A full day of planning.

Not a cat in hell's chance.

Manchester City - the title, the title challenge.

At this moment in time, it shouldn't be the main thing on his mind,

cos it's me getting married and stuff, you know what I mean?

I support Liverpool, who is in the title race,

and I've waited all my life for this race,

so I won't be missing any football -

that's a fact, regardless of who's getting married.

But boys being boys, they did make up in the end.

-Best back best mates now, aren't we?

-Best mate.

Oh, hug it out, you two. That's better.

MUSIC: You're My Best Friend by Queen

Our next groom, Navy man Andrew, wanted to plan his wedding

with military precision,

but his best man Neil...

-Get out the way. You disgust me, you sick...

-You may kiss the bride!

..just wanted to have a laugh.

IN SQUEAKY VOICE: My mum said I'm not allowed to open the door.

You doughnut, open up!

-Hello.

-Oh!

-WATER SQUIRTS

# Oh, you're my best friend... #

And Neil's goofy sense of humour

didn't always help this stressed-out groom.

I know he's trying to make me laugh and keep me happy,

but it's not, at the minute, because of how important this is.

No matter how hard he tried...

Andrew!

..and tried...

Yes, darling.

I'm going to have a heart attack, I swear.

..and tried...

Hey, Andrew, as it's your birthday, I bought you a balloon.

..Neil never quite hit the mark.

MUSIC: Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex

Come on.

# Where did you come from? Where did you go? #

It's your birthday.

You're right, it's my birthday. I'm 28 years old.

Come on!

Andrew, come on. Go on, get up.

Get off of me.

However, for the ultimate bromance that didn't quite go to plan,

look no further than when musician Martin

planned a heavy metal wedding for bride Terri.

Here's to Terri.

His best man Ben took wedding planning more personally

than we'd ever seen before.

I'm really excited about everything.

I feel I can just put everything I've got into this for these guys.

But unfortunately, Ben's keenness sometimes worked against him.

-What's going on?

-It's meant to be me and you looking for a venue.

That's what it's meant to be,

-and it's like...

-It's meant to be me finding a venue and you helping.

And it all came to a head

in one unforgettable Don't Tell The Bride moment.

Never had two guys argued about a wedding venue like this.

It hasn't got the same feel as the Corn Exchange.

-Something like that.

-Do you not get a good feeling here?

I do, but not the same.

Get your head in the fact that it needs to be a big metal show.

-It needs to do a concert.

-We could do that here.

I'm sorry but this place is perfect.

What would Terri think when she pulled up in front of here?

-Sorry, guys.

-Just trying to pull a wedding out the bag for you guys.

What do you think I'm trying to do?

All you're thinking about is your ego, Martin.

Ben! I'm going to punch you in a minute if you carry on.

-Look at the state of you.

-Right, I'm going to walk away,

-because I'm really going to just take your head off.

-Really?

I'm sure Terri would be so chuffed

-with the effort you're making right now.

-Ben, right...

-Martin...

-MARTIN YELLS

Come here. Come here.

One more word! One more word.

Come on.

One more word, mate.

Mention Terri again!

Terri's my mate, Martin, as well. Look at what you're doing.

Look at what you're doing.

I'm only thinking of those two.

I'm not saying they should get married at Corn Exchange.

I'm just wanting them two to have an amazing wedding.

I feel like Ben just wasn't letting up about the Corn Exchange.

He's kind of got his heart set on that.

At the end of the day, it's my wedding.

It's Terri's wedding,

and I've got to think of what I want and what Terri wants,

and as much as Ben thinks he knows what Terri wants,

I'd like to think I know a bit better.

I don't know if I'm the best man any more, after what's just happened.

Bad things I said, and I do regret what I did,

but you wound me up.

I am apologising for lashing out at each other and that.

I don't expect you to apologise.

-I know we've both got loads of shit going on.

-I want to apologise.

I hate that I did that because that's just not something I'd do to

a friend like you.

I'm sorry, Ben. I shouldn't have lashed out, man.

It's just everything's getting a bit frustrating,

and I really want to get excited about something

and it kind of dampened me a little bit.

That's the last thing I want to do.

-We could have both dealt with that a lot better.

-You reckon?

I know, yeah. Just a little bit.

I think we dealt with it quite well.

-Are we good, mate?

-Yeah, we're good.

Despite the constant clashes,

the wedding day went ahead without a hitch.

MUSIC: Everlong by Foo Fighters

# If everything could ever feel this real forever

# If anything could ever be this good again

# The only thing I'd ever ask of you

# You gotta promise not to stop when I say when... #

And with Ben by his side,

Martin finally said "I do" to his bride Terry.

It is my very great pleasure

to pronounce you husband and wife together,

so if you'd like to kiss...

CHEERING, WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE

We've all heard the saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned",

but if this show has taught us anything,

it's hell actually hath no fury like a woman

who has zero control over her own wedding,

and when the groom isn't around, an unhappy bride can take it out

on anyone that gets in the way -

even, as it turns out, those closest to her.

Take bride Pippa - before her big day,

she took to dropping a few subtle hints to her sister Vicky.

Well, not so subtle.

The bridesmaids' dress -

I really would like you to have a very plain, simple dress,

with preferably no sparkle, and straps.

-Well, that's just...

-And I would like you to remember what I want

when you go looking for dresses, rather than what you want.

No, it would be a case of what looks best.

What I'm asking you is to think of my feelings when you're picking it.

I'm not going to pick something you'd hate.

It doesn't matter, cos Tony gets overall say, and he won't let you.

Well, this is a silly conversation, then, isn't it?

Well, you can't exactly refuse to wear it,

cos then you're refusing to be a bridesmaid,

and you're not going to do that to me - I know you're not.

-You're so aggressive.

-Was I?

Because I know you're going to go out and pick a really sparkly,

-big, strapless dress that's going to...

-But that...

I'm not intentionally going to pick anything.

If it was your wedding, I'd do as I was told.

-You're so aggressive. You're like the bride from hell.

-Why am I?

Cos you are.

Vicky, just pick a dress that's plain with straps.

It's as simple as that.

Pippa may have taken a direct approach to getting her own way,

but others went for a more... THEY SCREAM

Well, just screaming and shouting, really.

Who can forget Hannah?

Even before the first week was done,

she wanted answers and she wanted them now.

People are going mad about these bloody invitations -

where it is, when it is. It's well stressing me out.

Why hasn't he'd done it already?

I don't know.

Well, speak to him.

So, with the bride's words still ringing in her ears,

-bridesmaid Sarah was dispatched.

-How are you?

-Hi, how are you doing?

I've been brought by the bitch of the bitchest of the bitches.

Is she kicking off?

-SHE SIGHS

-She's kicking off like mad, mate.

-Really? Why?

-She's, like, nearly crying,

cos you haven't done the invitations.

We've done one week. Tell her to trust me.

-Trust you?

-OK?

-Right.

And that's it. Nothing else.

Well, I asked him about the invitations,

and he said, just trust him.

They can't be arsed doing it any more.

Fucking people can't be fucking arsed doing one thing for me.

He's got three weeks to do them.

He can't do, in one week, invitations? It's hardly...

Hello? It's my wedding!

Do you not think I've got enough stress on me at the moment

without people moaning to me?

Hannah might have shot the messenger at this time,

but it was a sign of things to come.

The day before the wedding, the wrong shoes sent her into a spin.

They are dead, Deidre.

Wear them? Right, I'm not wearing them.

-I'm not wearing these shoes.

-STIFLED LAUGHTER

They're fucking hideous.

-I think they're nice.

-Are you lying?

-I'm not lying.

-Don't lie. Two pairs of minging shoes.

What a waste of money. Arse.

I think these are sexy.

-They're not sexy.

-Hannah, please, try them on.

£55 for them? You are fucking joking me.

-Take them bloody back.

-SHE GROWLS

-Oh, my God.

-THEY LAUGH AT HER

Well, now, I'm in a bad mood, now.

I don't care about the dress, now that I've got minging shoes.

Hannah!

Hi, Andy, it's Kiera.

How dare you put shoes that ugly in front of my face?

Hannah is really, really fuming with them shoes, Andy. She hates them.

-The shoes?

-They've got a stain on.

-Yeah, the...

Which ones? There's two pairs.

Both of them, Andy. She said they're awful.

-Like bridezilla, you are.

-I want new ones today!

She said she wants new ones today.

And a tiara, and a veil, today.

Look how pretty you look,

and you're just behaving like a little spoilt brat.

Shoes! Always about the bloody shoes!

He liked them shoes.

No, but the woman says I need shoes now to sort the dress out,

so I need my shoes now.

Well, bring him back and tell him I need the shoes now.

Tell him Hannah's screaming, "I want my shoes now!"

Well, tell her I'm not a fricking magician.

He's not a fucking magician. He's got to run round.

Well, what an idiot.

Why buy hideous shoes?

-'Tell her to stop stressing.'

-£55?

You're not even going to be able to see the shoes.

-Yeah, I know.

-I'll get her a new pair. Tell her to stop stressing

and look forward to the frigging wedding.

All right? Tell her I'm not impressed with this at all.

-I'm not putting them on my feet.

-You don't have to.

-Well, you have to put... If they're three inches.

-No, I'm not.

I'm not putting them on my feet.

SHE CHUCKLES

It's a pair of stupid shoes

that no-one's going to see under her dress.

Hannah wasn't the only bride to get stressed out before the wedding

and take it out on the people around her.

Remember bride Vicky and her sister Helen?

With only three days until the wedding,

Vicky got her sister to call groom Nick

to ask about the missing invitations.

You're going to get your invite tomorrow.

-And what's his excuse for taking so long?

-Definitely. Just hang on.

Everybody else is going to get theirs on Wednesday.

The reason it's took so long is not Nick's fault. There was a...

-They've had to get them specially made.

-It's bullshit, that.

You don't send invitations out a day before to your guests.

But that's not his fault. There's been a problem.

Then you come up with an alternative.

-He's paid to have them specially made.

-No, I'm not having it.

No, I don't believe that for one second.

Whether you believe it or not, that's what he said,

-so don't shoot the messenger.

-Where's mine?

-Who's doing mine? Hallmark as well?

-You're getting yours specially made.

Yours is different from everyone else's.

-And who's making it in Australia?

-I don't know.

-Mailing it by fucking pigeon?

-LAUGHTER

He's an idiot. I'm just going to the bathroom.

Oh, she's just overreacting.

I think you should just ring him and tell him I'm not coming.

Tell him.

Unless there's a real reason as to why these invitations haven't

gone out and they're not going out till Wednesday. It's not on.

-I've just given you the real reason.

-No, that-that-that's not even real.

That is a load of lies. That's pathetic.

Ring him up now and tell him

if them invitations don't go out tonight, there won't be a wedding.

-But he might not physically have them.

-Ring him now and tell him,

cos I'm not coming. I don't care.

What's so funny? What's so funny?

Cos he's not going to be able to do it.

You ring him and tell him now or I will not be there.

I've had enough now, Mum. This is my wedding day.

It's not a joke any more.

Why didn't you say to him, Helen? That's not good enough.

You're supposed to be helping me here, Helen.

Right, he physically cannot get them out any sooner.

You don't send invitations out 24 hours before.

You can't do this to people.

It's wrong.

I don't even want to get married now, because it's just a sham.

You don't mess people about like that.

So has he got them there now?

I don't know.

-He must.

-See, you were supposed to ring up and ask all this.

Are you thick?

What do you do, just have a laugh

-and joke on the phone, Helen?

-Obviously. Obviously, I am,

so, you can ring him yourself.

The invites did eventually arrive,

and on the big day, Victoria was made to feel like a queen.

MUSIC: Paradise by Coldplay

# Para para paradise

# Para para paradise

# Para para paradise

# Oh-oh-oh oh-oh

# Oh-oh-oh

# Whoo-ooh-ooh.... #

I've missed you so much.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

-Do you like the place?

-I love it.

-CHEERING

She's just so happy and I'm just so made up for her,

cos she really deserves this happiness,

so, yeah, definitely, she is like Queen Royal now.

Weddings are a stressful time for a bride, especially when you've

got no control, so it's little wonder they have their moments.

Thankfully, you can always count on your bridesmaids

to get you through it.

Despite the tears and tantrums,

our boys and their bromances managed to pull off some truly amazing

weddings together,

and although there may have been a few bumps along the way,

they somehow managed to turn some not-so-happy brides

into some very happy ones.

See you next time.

Oh, my God.

SHE GASPS

Oh...

-SHE GASPS

-Ah, you've got fish on the tables!

LAUGHTER

LAUGHTER AND SCREAMING

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.

Oh, my God. Oh-ho-ho-ho!

-This is amazing.

-I can't believe you done all this.

It's absolutely stunning.

It's fab. Alice will love it.

She'll absolutely love it.

I'm so proud of him for making Nicky's day so special.

-Am I your knight in shining armour?

-Always.

-Your Prince Charming?

-Always, dear.

Everything was perfect.

Couldn't have asked for anything else.

Ooh...

I'm so happy.

Absolutely amazing job. Mwah.

He's pulled it out the bag

and everything's just been absolutely perfect.

-Cheers.

-Thank you. Mwah!

So what do you reckon to wedding planning?

-A piece of piss?

-Yeah.

-Wedding planning...done.

-LAUGHTER

He's done a better job than I possibly would have, maybe.

I just think he's actually done a much better job than me.

-Perfect day.

-Awesome.

-Perfect!

-Perfect and awesome.

-Awesomely perfect.

-Awesomely perfect.

I'm happy with that.

-Did you like it?

-Oh...

I haven't quite mentioned to Amanda yet that you

-want to come on the honeymoon.

-You'd better do it soon.

I'm not sure how she's going to take it.

Next time,

Don't Tell The Bride celebrates its ten wonderful series

by looking back over the past eight years,

as we relive the highs...

-SCREAMING

-Oh, my God!

..the lows...

My heel is broken!

I'm a boy. I don't know what I'm doing.

..and the most memorable moments.

I really want to feel really bad for this.

Fucking phone!

Can today get any worse?

-Game over. End of.

-The whole day has been ruined.

MUSIC: Anyone Else But You by The Moldy Peaches

# Here is the church and here is the steeple

# We sure are cute for two ugly people

# I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else

-# But you

-The pebbles forgive me

# The trees forgive me

# So why can't you forgive me?

# I don't see what anyone could see in anyone else

-# But you

-But you. #