Amy & Josh Don't Tell the Bride

-From the depths of the earth to the crests of the mountains...

-My legs have gone weird.

..these crusading grooms must rise to the challenge.

£12,000...

LAUGHTER

-..and just three weeks...

-I love that girl. I love her.

..to plan a wedding worthy of their betrothed.

Oh, my God! What's he done?

He just took my dress!

These fair maidens are bound by contract to be legally wedded...

-I hate it.

-..but have no say in their big day.

Is it just going to all be last-minute and just rubbish?

Where did he get green from?

Can these hapless heroes marshal their armies...

Just leave me to drown!

-..vanquish dragons...

-Oh, God!

Do as your future mother-in-law tells you!

..and conquer all before them?

-SCREAMING

-Get out of my pub!

Or will they be...

SCREAMING ..defeated?

I'm not doing it.

Tonight, laid-back last-minute groom Josh...

Sorry I'm late. Sorry I'm late, boys!

..plans a big beach wedding abroad...

We just want to talk about our wedding. Not OUR wedding.

..for his bride-to-be, Amy...

I hope he's not just had a stupid idea. I will be fuming.

..while all she dreams of is a traditional day much closer to home.

This is what I want, definitely. Definitely, definitely.

Will his plans take flight?

We have nothing - in Spain, sweating, panicking.

Will his bride get on board with his big ideas?

I'm not going in there dressed like this!

Or will his fantasy fiesta...

-A bit of wet don't hurt nobody.

-..turn into a fiasco?

Anywhere but here would have been great.

24-year-old Josh and 27-year-old Amy from Leicester

fell for each other three years ago.

But the crucial first meeting was a long time coming.

We grew up round the same area.

We must have, like, just missed each other or something.

-Like, every day for 15 years.

-Never met at all.

Finally, fate intervened, with a bit of help from public transport.

-We met on the bus.

-On the 85 bus.

-On the 85 bus.

And I just said, "Oh, who's that? I quite like the look of him."

SHE CHUCKLES

Amy thought her fellow passenger was just the ticket

and she was soon running to catch him.

Amy was chasing me.

Within, like, half an hour, she says, "Here's my phone number."

I WAS pretty forward like that.

# The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed... #

There was just one problem. Josh was already married.

To his music.

There's, like, no feeling in the world like being in a band.

Before I met Amy, music was my passion.

Saturday nights, going and gigging. I didn't worry about anything.

A carefree rock-and-roll life was all Josh wanted.

Until he fell for Amy.

I gave up the band just for the fact that

I knew as soon as I met Amy I wanted to do everything to make Amy happy.

So, Josh settled down and abandoned his rock star dreams,

and five months ago, baby Poppy was born.

Who's that?! Daddy?

And for the first time in his life, he's had to embrace responsibility.

I do clean up.

It's just that I don't do a very good job at cleaning up.

The problem is, he's terrible at it.

He's not organised at all.

She says, "Oh, can you just do Poppy's bottles for me?"

And she's walked in and went like that -

"You can't ever do it right. Move."

-Now, he just doesn't touch them. Stays away.

-Yeah.

-That's it.

-I'm not allowed near them.

And it's not just around the house he can't be trusted.

-I run out of money very fast.

-Mm-hm.

-I'm just addicted to...

Just buying stuff.

When Josh gets paid, he'll buy trainers,

and half of his money's gone by, like, six o'clock the next morning.

-Don't get me started on his tattoos.

-Yeah. Like...

-I go mental.

-He comes back with a different tattoo every other day.

-Yeah.

-She puts up with a lot. I mean...

-I do have to put up with a lot.

-Yeah.

The only time Amy gave Josh any real responsibility

was when she let him book their first holiday to Spain.

-We had a lovely holiday.

-No, we didn't. It was horrible.

He'd booked a really crappy hotel.

-We had no money all the way through because of this one.

-I'd spent it.

-All the other hotels round it were all shut down.

-Were all shut.

I'd bought people presents and they were all in the suitcase

-and I had to...

-Leave it in Malaga Airport.

Because he'd booked them on the way there and didn't book them on the way back.

She wouldn't talk to me for about two days.

You've got to admit, other than the hotel and the bags, it was a nice holiday.

-And the food poisoning.

-I hated every minute of it.

His heart's in the right place, but he's just a nightmare.

So, why is Amy giving all control of her dream day

to someone so disorganised?

I know it's a huge day for me to hand over to him,

but I just feel like he needs some sort of responsibility.

It'll be good to show Amy that I can do more

than fiddle with my hair and have a nap.

I think I let her do too much for me.

It's about time that I've done something for her.

And if Josh wants to impress his picky bride,

he's going to have to get organised, and fast.

Getting married means everything to me.

It's what I've wanted ever since I was little.

I'm quite a home person. I don't like to be out of my comfort zone.

I think the most important thing about my wedding

is my family being there.

I'm so close to my mum and I was so close to my dad.

Sadly, Amy's dad passed away nine years ago.

-I think he'd have liked Josh.

-Yeah, he would.

He'd have probably bounced him up the garden path a few times, but...

I do hope Josh thinks about that when he's planning the wedding,

kind of tries to get my dad in a little bit.

So, Amy's always dreamed of a small, intimate affair, close to home,

that's all about family.

But Josh... Well, Josh has a point to prove.

I'm not good at organising anything.

But if I can prove to Amy

that I can organise the biggest day of our lives,

that'll be a big accomplishment for me.

Bless him. So, what's the plan?

For our wedding, I'm going to take Amy back to Benalmadena in Spain

and I'm going to take her back to the hotel

where I ruined our first holiday.

So, I just want to make things right in a romantic way.

I'm going to give her the best wedding possible.

Like, on the beach, get Amy to walk down in her wedding dress.

Oh, sounds romantic.

Only problem is, Josh has no idea it's the last thing Amy would want.

I don't like the beach. I hate being hot.

I hate travelling. I wouldn't like my wedding outside.

So, let's just recap.

It's a beach-theme wedding for a bride that hate beaches,

planned by a groom who can't organise anything.

If he does think of me, I think he'll do really, really well.

If he did get it really wrong,

there'll always be that part in the back of my mind that, "You ruined my day."

I would kill him.

It's time for our couple to say goodbye.

-Put my photo in.

-Ohh!

Going to have a good time with Mummy, aren't you?

Don't have to listen to Daddy for three weeks.

Josh and Amy have only ever spent a few hours apart from each other.

But for the next three weeks, they'll have no contact at all.

Be a good girl. Look after Mummy.

HE CHUCKLES

Oh, come on. You'll make me cry.

All right.

-It'll be all right.

-I know.

-I love you.

-I love you.

I feel sick.

I feel really, really sick.

I'm just going to miss Josh so much, I think.

Amy will be staying with her sister Leanne until the big day.

Here she is, look - Auntie Leanne.

Hello!

-I'm a little bit worried about what he's going to do.

-Yeah, me too.

About... Because he's left on his own.

I mean, he's got three weeks.

I'm thinking, three weeks is long enough for him

to kind of get himself together and put his mind to planning a wedding.

Yeah.

Because Josh has had his hand held over the years,

now he's on his own, it's like we've taken the reins off him

and just said, "Go on, then, Josh, arrange the biggest day of my life."

And that's quite nerve-racking.

While Amy is moving in with Leanne,

Leanne's husband, Dean, is moving in with Josh as his best man.

How cosy!

-Easy! How you doing?

-And Dean is just in time.

Because Josh is already struggling.

I don't even know how to work the washing machine.

I got water all over the floor trying to get the T-shirts out.

Have we actually, like, got any food?

-Nothing.

-We've got tomato sauce, though, haven't we?

-Yeah, we've got tomato sauce, bit of cheese.

-Bit of mayonnaise.

Not even got any plates, to be quite honest with you.

Top priority is not starve to death before the actual wedding day.

But before they can eat, Josh lets Dean in on his Spanish wedding plans.

Do you remember mine and Amy's first holiday?

The one I ruined. I've got to make that right.

Amy just... She just remembers all the bad bits.

So, basically, mate, we're going to Malaga.

I think his plans are a bit mad,

cos he's taking her somewhere that is disastrous for them.

Thinking about that, he's really taking a big risk.

How are you planning on turning it round completely?

Amy just remembers all the bad from it.

I wanted to give her memories that she can go,

"I got married there and I'm proud to get married there."

That's ideally what I want.

But before all those planning shenanigans, food -

cooked by someone else, obviously.

Now it's time to organise a game-changing wedding in Spain

at the height of the tourist season.

-Pricey.

-Two adults...

So, 360 quid, and that's just for the flights.

It's all going to come to just over a grand

just for both of us for two nights.

-Oh, dear.

-One twelfth of the budget.

Josh's mission is to rectify his nightmare Spanish holiday planning

with some seamless last-minute wedding planning.

But he's already hit a problem.

So, basically, it's a one-stop flight,

but we've got to stop in Brussels.

We won't get into Malaga Airport until eight o'clock at night.

We were hoping we could get this done, start enjoying it,

start getting the real planning done,

and now we're already stuck at the first hurdle.

-First day and I've already...

-Stressed. Really stressed.

-Yeah, I'm already stressed.

-Yeah, I'm feeling exactly the same.

-So, which one did you want to go with?

-Anything. I'm past caring.

After three hours of searching, the boys blow over £1,000

on last-minute, peak-season flights and accommodation in Spain

and give themselves just two days to plan everything.

£1,000 for two days for two people.

Imagine what it's going to be like

when I've got to fly 15, 20 people out there.

I'm confident that I could pull it off,

but it's just going to take a lot more effort on my part.

Whilst Josh is feeling confident, across town, Amy is with her mum

and beginning to worry about letting her man plan her big day.

I think Josh knows me well enough

-to do something that's going to be right for both of us.

-Mm.

Would you be upset if he did do something that you...didn't like?

Yeah, I think I would.

I'm worried it's going to be outside somewhere.

I don't like being hot.

You know, I just don't want him

to go off on one of them silly ideas that he has.

It escalates with him.

Oh, things have escalated, all right,

to about 35,000 feet,

as Josh crosses the Med and lands in sunny, sweltering Spain.

-It's hot.

-Boiling.

He's in the resort of Benalmadena, just outside Malaga...

Sardines. Smell of sardines. Beautiful.

..where he plans to hold the wedding in the same hotel Amy hated,

then have a beach reception.

Sounds straightforward enough, but it's peak season,

so with no time to lose,

the boys head straight to the hotel to get that sorted first.

I don't know why Amy's seen the bad side, really.

I think it's really nice.

It only takes one question - can we get married here?

Yeah, only one question, and there's only one answer, and it's no.

We've been to the El Greco.

We can't get married there, so morale ain't the best.

-We're both a little bit down now, aren't we?

-Yeah, that's it.

Three days in and we have nothing

other than standing here in Spain, sweating and panicking.

With the hotel too busy to hold the wedding in peak season,

it's back to the drawing board for the boys.

One day into being here and we've still got nothing.

Tomorrow, if we don't secure something, we may as well go home.

I mean, I can't waste another day. I just can't.

It's just not going to happen.

There we go.

It's really funny putting Poppy to bed by myself, without Josh.

He's usually there rocking her to sleep.

One part of me misses Josh like absolute mad

and wishes he was just there to give me a cuddle like he usually does.

And the other half is a lot of worry -

what he's doing, where he is.

I want a lot of family there.

I'm hoping he doesn't forget anybody and doesn't forget them.

I'd be really, really upset.

He's let loose in the big, wide world.

He is on a tight leash with me.

He explains it like his balls are in a velvet bag in my drawer.

-Which they are.

-Crikey.

Keen to get the family jewels back in his own hands,

Josh and best man Dean are pounding the streets of Benalmadena...

I think I know where it is.

..desperate to find a hotel that can host the wedding.

The Royal Oasis Club, donde esta?

Royal Oasis?

But we're not, like, fluent. We're not extremely fluent in Spanish.

But after hours of walking the unfamiliar streets...

Here you go, look.

..they get a no from the first hotel they try.

They said, "We haven't got the space."

And after another hour of traipsing around...

it's the same answer.

No. And that's it.

-It's August, the hotels are busy.

-All the hotels are full.

Then, at the end of the day, there's a glimmer of hope.

Spoke to a member of staff, and they said it's up to the director,

and we're waiting another two hours for them to probably say no.

Then if they tell us no, that's it.

Six hours later, there's no news from the final hotel.

And it appears the boys have given up hope

of securing a wedding venue before they fly home tomorrow.

-Mate, we're screwed.

-Yeah, we are a bit.

We've spent £1,100 to come out here and we're leaving with nothing.

We've got no wedding.

I mean, all we can do now is have a couple of beers, maybe ten.

-Sounds good to me, mate.

-Cheers.

Look at that clock. It's 20 past midnight and we're doing very well.

-Or is that four o'clock? I'm not sure.

-I don't know what it says.

Basically, I haven't been out for a while, and that's why I'm drunk.

-I've not been out for a very long time.

-Shut up!

-You've been out all the time.

-Maybe he's a lightweight!

Josh came to Spain hoping to prove himself

by organising a romantic holiday wedding.

But all he's been able to organise is a booze-up.

We're going home, we're getting in bed, and that's it. That's final.

Next morning, the boys sleep off the night before.

Back in the UK, Amy is visiting her dream wedding venue.

Hothorpe Hall,

an elegant manor house deep in the Leicestershire countryside.

Oh, this looks lovely.

I'll be standing here.

I mean, it's just beautiful in here.

I mean, the high ceilings, they're, like, gorgeous as well, aren't they?

-Yeah.

-It's not too big, do you know what I mean?

-I've not got to walk too far.

-No, you've not.

-So, I don't have to worry about, you know, tripping up.

-Tripping up!

I love the pictures on the wall. I love the curtains.

I love the chairs. I like the huge windows.

You can see out for miles and miles.

-I think this is very you.

-Yeah. This is what I want, definitely.

Definitely, definitely.

This is definitely my dream venue.

It's big, it's in the middle of nowhere, it's so quiet.

Every bride wants this for their wedding day.

Well, other brides might get it.

But you've left your wedding in the hands of a man

whose heart was set on dragging you halfway across Europe.

But now, he's back... with his tail between his legs.

The whole premise was to get back out to Spain

and sort out the holiday that I messed up,

and we've got out there and we've messed it up again.

Which is very heartbreaking.

So, plan B.

So, Spain is out, and plan B is in.

But what is plan B?

Me and Amy met for the first time on the 85 bus.

Plan B is a bus?

85 bus.

-What, seriously?

-Yeah.

-A BLEEP bus?

-The 85, yeah.

Well, at least it's not outside.

-Open-top bus.

-Oh, dear.

Amy loves the 85 bus. It reminds her of home, do you know what I mean?

Mm... Dean's not convinced.

-On your head be it, then.

-Yeah.

And his big, bright bus ideas don't end there.

Big stage, flashing lights, bands going, "duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh".

Music festival.

If I get my band back together and do one big blow-out gig.

Does Amy like music?

Yeah, she loves music. She listens to it all the time.

She'll know how much effort I've gone into it.

I've not played with my band for two years.

I think Amy'll love the fact that it's what I did.

She's going to love it.

What I think's going to happen is,

you're not going to end up getting married and I'll end up getting divorced.

So, a romantic wedding in Spain is now a romantic trip in a bus lane.

And he wants to reform his old band

to headline a rock-and-roll reception.

The bus I'm definitely not sure about.

It's more than a bus at this point.

While the boys quibble over a wedding on an open-top bus,

at Hothorpe Hall,

the girls are revelling in their sophisticated, weatherproof venue.

If it's somewhere like this and it's raining, it doesn't matter, does it?

-No.

-If we were outside and having people looking in,

people I don't know looking at me, and I don't like that.

I don't want to get married outside.

I want to get married inside, like somewhere like this.

-No traffic.

-No. No, I don't want things like that. No.

-No.

Hopefully, he's done it inside, then.

Good news is, Josh and Dean are hoping traffic and weather

won't be an issue either.

Josh has dragged his unconvinced best man

to check out the open-top bus he hopes is just the ticket.

-Can we jump on and have a look?

-Have a look around.

MUSIC: Kids by Robbie Williams

Mate, this is swanky, this is.

-It's retro.

-It's definitely retro.

More like 1990s school bus.

-Bit romantic.

-Yeah.

-What do you need it for?

-For our wedding.

-Yeah.

For the wedding guests, or...?

The actual wedding is going to be on this bus. It's his bright idea.

-We're getting married on the top of the bus.

-Are you really?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-That's a first.

-Yeah.

-It's definitely a first!

Dean might be on board the bus now,

but he's going to need some convincing

to get on board Josh's plan to get married here.

The air con's awesome on this bus.

When she sees the amount of effort in the top,

that's when it all pays off.

Loads of balloons, bunting, flowers.

We'll just take these seats completely out

and it'll be a case of everyone just, like, leaning over like that.

-Right, OK.

-It's not every day you can say, "I got married on a bus."

-No.

-Be mint.

-It'll take a lot of sprucing up.

But if it rains...

Yes, what happens if it rains?

-Oh, mate, don't say that.

-Will the bride like it?

Oh, the bride'll love it.

Helium balloons along the top. That's where all the action happens.

-That's where it's going to be...

-When the bus is rocking, don't come a-knocking.

-Yeah!

-Ding-ding!

-Yeah, ding-ding! He knows! He knows!

Ohh, ding-ding!

And this rocking bus ride isn't for free.

It's £660 for four hours.

-Anything over that, £18...an hour.

-An hour?

So, if you go for the five hours, then, 678 quid. It's good.

After a week of planning, and with Dean at last on board,

the wheels of Josh's romantic wedding bus dream are finally in motion.

-We've done something at last!

-Yeah, finally.

Knowing that I'm getting married on that bus...it's awesome.

-I'm pretty excited for you, mate.

-Told you.

-It's not just a bus any more, is it?

-No. No.

-It's a wedding bus.

-It's a wedding bus.

It's a wedding bus and it's booked.

But for a bride whose heart is set

on a classic, elegant wedding in a stately home,

will it be the romantic solution the boys hope it is?

I hope he's not just had a stupid idea in his head and gone with it.

I hope he's picked a venue already.

I think that should have been his first priority.

-I know.

-Those two guys together...

-# Nightmare! #

It sounds terrifying!

I'm just worried he's going to forget a vital thing,

like transport.

Yeah, you might have to catch the bus into town.

I'm not standing at a bus stop with my wedding dress on.

Wherever you're going, you will walk in and he'll be singing to you.

He'd better not. I will be fuming.

Because that time in the pub when he announced

that he was going to sing his girlfriend, Amy, a song...

-Oh, yeah!

-..I could have died.

The whole pub was looking at me.

I just don't want to be made to feel a prat.

Well, if you don't want Josh singing on your wedding day,

there's a bit more bad news coming your way.

The groom is checking out a venue for the reception,

and it's a music venue.

The Shed is where Josh played his first ever gig.

Oh, yeah, beautiful. Still the way I remember it.

And after messing up his dream of a Spanish wedding

to make up for his disastrous holiday planning,

he now wants to recreate that holiday in the club,

in land-locked Leicester.

Imagine walking through there, and then Amy just going, bang,

door open, sand, palm trees, band on stage.

-Mankinis on the bar staff.

-Mankinis on the bar staff.

Sand, the band, and men in mankinis? What a wedding.

Time to ask the events manager if it's possible.

Why don't you tell me what it is that you're kind of after, then?

I had my first gig here.

I want to reform my band, but with an element of Spain in it.

So, I want to put sand in here.

-OK.

-It's not going to be like Blackpool seaside.

-It's going to be Spain.

-You have the sand?

-We'll get the sand.

-You'll get the sand? OK.

We'll get the sand in and we'll get the sand out.

And Josh has a few more ideas to help transform this bar

into a splendid, sandy, Spanish beach.

Cocktails, little umbrellas for the glasses,

a whole lot of sangria, and a waiter in some sort of Hawaiian shirt.

Aww, no mankinis?

Well, even so, Josh is ready to book.

You're looking at around £600.

-That'll include all the equipment that you need.

-Yeah.

That would be awesome. Oh, mate, it would be perfect, wouldn't it?

Yeah, I think it's going to be absolutely spot-on.

So, for £600, Josh has a venue, at last,

for his rock-and-roll reception.

Now he just needs to cover the sticky floor in sand and reform his band.

-It means something to you.

-And Amy never saw me play here.

So, it'll be a big thing for Amy to see me playing.

It certainly will.

With his venues booked, Josh turns his attention to Amy's dress.

And this groom knows it's something he can't afford to mess up.

This is, like, the biggest thing we need to get.

If I get this wrong, then I'm a dead man.

I really wish that I'd listened when she planned what she wanted,

cos I haven't got the foggiest.

-Pleased to meet you.

-I'm Josh.

Is it going to be a church wedding or a civil ceremony?

-It's going to be more on a bus.

-That's really unusual.

-I've literally never heard of that before.

-Neither have I!

What's Amy like? What is her kind of style?

-Football hooligan.

-Football hooligan.

-Yeah. She's kind of prim and proper, but football hooligan.

-OK.

In terms of colour, does she want to wear white or ivory?

I'm colour-blind,

so the difference between them both is very hard for me.

So, in terms of, like, the dress, what do we want to show off?

I... I don't know. I literally don't know.

This clueless groom needs a crash course in wedding dresses.

What do you reckon?

Mm...

No.

-I'm sorry, it looks like a cargo net's picked up seaweed.

-Oh, OK.

Slight change of direction.

Really fitted, ruched silk, cinched-in waist.

One for the maybe pile?

This could take some time.

While Josh tries to make the right choice,

across town, Amy has taken her mum and bridesmaids

to show them the dress she would choose,

and she wants something simple.

I don't want anything too detailed. I don't really like lace.

-This lovely gold colour. What do you think to that one?

-Um...

-Now, this is a sparkly underskirt here.

-Right.

-Or something a little plainer?

-Yeah, I like plain.

I don't want anything fitted.

I don't want any fishtail, I don't want anything like that.

ALL EXCLAIM

Don't cry!

Well, I really like that.

It's really pretty. I don't like these strap bits.

Without those straps, it would be perfect.

Yeah, I really, really like it.

Back with the boys, Josh has found something he likes.

And it seems, for once, he may be on the same page as Amy.

So, what do you think, then? You've both gone a bit quiet.

-I like it.

-I like it, yeah.

So, you think she does want something quite classical?

-Yeah.

-Right.

He likes the dress, but will it be able to board his love bus?

She's got to get up a flight of stairs on a bus, and back down.

-We can bustle out of the way.

-What's bustling?

Turn it under, like this. It'll just make it that much more manageable.

That would be perfect. I love the bustling.

What does it look like strapless?

This would really easily be able to be made strapless.

That makes it a completely different dress.

While the groom seems sold on the simple, classic style Amy loves...

the bride...

Well, the bride has changed her mind.

Oh, nice! Get that one!

I never thought I'd like anything like this.

It's completely different to the plain one that I wanted.

The girl who didn't want to stand out

has now decided she wants to shine in a dress with plenty of sparkle.

That looks well nice.

I love this bit and I love this bit

and then I love this bit as well!

I didn't think I liked sparkles, but I love the sparkles.

All the kids'd be, like, flocking round you.

They'll all be like, "Oh, my God, it's a princess!"

You look just like a little Snow White.

-I want to be a princess now.

-Lovely.

-100%.

-Yeah.

-It's so pretty.

She's always been so worried about showing...

She doesn't like being the centre of attention,

but she looked absolutely beautiful

and really confident and comfortable in that dress.

I love this one. I'm hoping he picks me something like this.

I think the difficulty is, is you didn't know what you wanted,

so how's he going to know?

-You never know.

-You never know.

Except Josh still thinks he knows Amy will love something plain and simple.

-I think that's the one.

-I think you've got what you want there.

-Happy as Larry with that.

-Yeah.

Sold, for £1,400, which includes alterations to the shoulder straps.

I don't think you'd actually have to add any bling.

Hoping to top the bill at his own wedding,

Josh is reforming his three-piece indie band.

But his drummer is on tour, so he's hired a stand-in, Will.

-How are you doing? I'm Josh.

-Nice to meet you, man.

-I'm getting married next Sunday.

-OK.

-So, I want to reform my band.

Have you got, like, a set list or something for us?

We're going to try and do Brown Eyed Girl.

-Your girl's got brown eyes, right?

-No, she's not. But...

-What?

I haven't played it in a couple of years.

I'll probably have to busk the lyrics until I learn them.

-Have you played it together?

-No.

Excellent choice.

-Shall we give it a whirl?

-Let's have a go, yeah.

MUSIC: Brown Eyed Girl

# Do you remember when...

# We used to sing

# Sha-la-la la-la-la

# La-la la-la-dee-dah

# You, my brown-eyed girl... #

-You're going to have to wing this.

-We're going to have to mackle it together.

I need to know what the chords are, to be quite honest.

After one rehearsal, new man Will's worried.

They've not played that song together before, which worries me.

He has left it to the last minute.

-Shall we do something Thursday?

-Maybe in the evening.

-Yeah, yeah.

We're doing that song.

-Have you got other songs in mind that I can learn this week?

-Yeah.

I can't, obviously, stand there and play Brown Eyed Girl over and over.

-We can't even play it once, anyway.

-No, no. So...

For Josh to pull off his romantic vision of serenading his bride,

it's clear to the band they need to put the hours in.

Shitting myself, to be honest. I haven't played in a band in ages.

We're just going to have to work hard by Sunday, because, obviously,

that's the deadline and we can't change it now.

It's the last Friday before the wedding

and Amy was hoping for a hen night,

but with no word from Josh, she's worried he's left it too late.

I'm nervous, I'm stressed out, I'm...

Anything you can think of, that's what I'm feeling at the minute,

-not knowing where it is, when it is, who's coming.

-Mm.

You haven't even had any information about a hen night or anything.

People are going to need notice.

-What the hell's he doing?

-God only knows.

He's the kind of person, though,

that'll spring it on you last-minute, cos it's Josh.

Worried.

Josh? Last-minute? Never.

Amy doesn't know about her own hen do.

You're going to have to ring her. It's a bit of a race against time.

It turns out Josh HAS organised a hen do.

He's just left it to the last minute to tell the bride.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-Hi, Amy, it's Deano.

-'Right, I've got some news for you.'

-OK.

Today is your hen do. You all have to be there for 6.30.

-'Oh, God.'

-It doesn't leave you with a lot of time.

-Because it's, like, three o'clock now.

-Oh, my God!

Bye.

-SHE SPLUTTERS

-I can't... I'm speeches.

This is really short notice.

This better not happen for my wedding.

-Why has he let us know three hours before?

-That's stupid.

You think that's stupid,

he's also neglected to tell any of the other hens.

Tell me who you want to invite and I will send messages out now,

and I'll just say, "Look, I'm sorry it's short notice,

"but I hope you can make it."

I feel sick.

If we've rushed at this, hopefully,

we've rushed it in the right way and not in the wrong way.

-If they have a good night, we should rush things more often.

-Yeah!

We should leave the wedding till the morning.

Sounds like Josh needs a wake-up call.

And right on cue... PHONE RINGS

Wakey-wakey.

You all right, Mam?

Soon, the boys find themselves fending off even more angry calls.

I've had my mum on the phone saying she's not happy

cos it's too rushed.

I've just had a text from Leanne

and, basically, it says she's not happy.

It seems like we're getting it from all angles, mate. Great.

-We've left it too late, haven't we?

-It's a bit of a balls-up.

HE GROANS

I've cocked up. I've cocked up.

I'm not sure it can get any worse, mate.

Oh, mate, don't say that!

I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

There's got to be something I'm doing wrong.

I've got to figure out what it is and I've got to figure it out fast.

Just a thought, but maybe it's got something to do

with leaving everything to the last minute.

If no-one shows up for Amy's hen do,

how many people are going to show up for my wedding?

Three hours later, and despite the short notice,

Amy has managed to get together a flock of hens for her big night.

I don't know what's going on at the minute.

Getting on the 85 bus into town. That's knowing Josh.

A bus on your hen night? Nah, he's saving that for the wedding.

But first, Dean has arrived with some hen night surprises.

So, girls, I've got some T-shirts for you all to wear.

Oh, my God! I'm not wearing that.

-Is he joking?

-He's not joking, no.

-I don't want to wear it.

Thoughtful Josh has had Amy's football team's chant

printed on the front.

But Amy would rather save it for the terraces.

I'm not happy.

OK, I'll wear it.

The boys should have done all the inviting

for the hen night and everything,

but because they've made all these T-shirts, I think everything's OK.

The T-shirts may be wrong, but outside,

Josh may have finally got something right.

I didn't expect this. My God!

I'm very impressed at the minute with Josh.

-I thought we'd be getting the bus.

-LAUGHTER

You're laughing now, but you're getting the bus for your wedding.

-Oh, my God. I can't believe this.

-I know.

-I wonder where we're going.

-Where's the alcohol?

-I know.

I hope, like, we've got a drink where we're going.

But as the limo reaches its destination,

the mood quickly changes.

-Where the hell are we going?

-Red Hot.

-I ain't going in there.

Josh has sent the hens to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

I'm not going in there dressed like this.

I'm so embarrassed.

I hate buffets. I hate getting up and getting my food.

Cheers, Josh.

-I bet they'll be going somewhere good.

-Guess again.

Josh hasn't quite managed to organise a stag do,

so he's settled for tea and cakes and Dean.

I know we were supposed to have the stag do today, but...

-We had a good piss-up in Spain.

-Yeah, we did.

So...we've kind of had a stag do, in a way.

We've done the right thing.

We've sorted the girls out, they've had a laugh.

-It's a BLEEP good stag do, this, innit?

-Absolutely quality, mate.

Brilliant biscuits.

Should add some vodka in there, really, shouldn't we?

Back at the buffet, the alcohol is flowing.

But they're about to be served some bad news.

Here's the bill for you.

-Oh, my God.

-Does it say "free" on it?

£237.

Josh has forgotten to pay. GASPING

-Are you joking?

-No, that can't be right.

If this is, like, real, I'm going to go mental.

I didn't even want to come here and we've got to pay 250 quid.

Oh, my God, I'm fuming.

Josh may have forgotten to pay for their dinner,

but he has paid for tickets for some live music

as a little taster of the wedding to come.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

# Your fire's burning brightest... #

Josh likes live music. I don't.

He knows I hate everything about places like this.

So, tonight has made me very worried for the wedding.

A wedding reception in a live music venue

may not have been Josh's best idea.

But at least he's planning on doing it up.

With three days to the wedding, the boys have called in a designer,

who they hope can give their murky mosh pit a Malaga makeover.

They've set themselves a budget of £1,500.

And after his string of setbacks, Josh is determined to get this right.

We can't just have Amy showing up and it being a dank music venue.

The whole idea is I ruined mine and Amy's first holiday,

and I want to make it right,

so I want to give her the romance of the beach

and it's going to be extremely sentimental to both me and Amy.

-How did you want to do the beach? Real sand?

-Yeah.

-We don't know the weight-bearing limits of the floor.

-OK.

And bear in mind how heavy sand is,

to do the whole thing would probably be a bit risky.

It may even collapse.

It's bad news and very late in the day.

But Rachel has another suggestion.

We can bring areas of sand into the venue

and then what we do is, we put palm trees on it.

Almost like a little desert island.

If your budget will stretch a bit,

we can actually turn the floor the colour of sand by using a carpet.

We put sand on that carpet, a thin layer of sand,

you'll get your texture as well.

-Looks like the beach.

-It'll give you the effect you want.

-That's awesome.

-I think it's a case of how much it's all going to cost.

-Yeah.

Because we are on a really tight budget.

I think we could do it for 2,000.

So, to pull off the perfect beach, and bring Josh's idea to life,

the boys need another £500.

So, what do you want to do, guys?

I mean, we still need to get food, we still need to get suits,

we still need to get shoes.

-Just don't take too long, eh?

-You've only got three days.

-I've got one day, because I've got no wholesaler on Saturday.

-Oh!

-I'm going to need to know...

-By tonight.

-Yeah.

With his beach-themed reception about to be washed away,

Josh has a choice to make.

Sand and sangria, or suits and shoes.

We may have to try and cut back on a couple of things

just to try and make it right.

£500 for bands.

The shoes for Amy.

I think we're forgetting something on here. Two, three...

We're over by 400.

Annoying.

-PHONE RINGS

-And there's Will.

Got to get to band practice.

Sorry I'm an hour and 20 minutes late.

Or 2 hours and 20 minutes late, in fact.

I'll be there in two minutes.

Now Josh's plan to wow his bride-to-be

with his rock-and-roll music is also in serious trouble,

as he turns up three hours late for the final and much-needed rehearsal.

Sorry I'm late, boys.

-Man, what time do you call this?

-I need a pick.

-He's not even turned up prepared!

-It's all right, I've found one.

Ready? Rock!

MUSIC: Are You Gonna Be My Girl

# So, one, two, three Take my hand and come with me

# Cos you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine

# You look so fine that I really wanna make you mine... #

But after only one song, Will the drummer has to leave.

-I'll listen to the tracks, mate.

-Yeah.

And I'll get them dialled as good as I can.

It seems that when it comes to the big day,

this band will just have to wing it.

We've got no more time, and we've still got loads to do.

But it's my fault that I've left it late.

And it's me that's going to have to take the wrath of Amy

if she don't like it.

With the rest of his plans at sea,

Josh must now fight to keep his beach theme afloat

so this wedding doesn't sink without a trace.

There's got to be a way round it.

Try as he might, Josh can't find the extra money he needs,

so calls the designer.

I'd literally love to take the whole thing.

-We're still not there.

-PHONE CHIMES

Hello? My phone's just died.

HE GROANS

Josh, like his budget, is at breaking point.

And he's desperate to get the beach he thinks his bride will love.

The only place you're going to be able to take it out of...

-Is the food.

-..is the food budget.

We'll put the food down to 400.

And just like that, Josh has the cash he needs

to give Amy the beach reception of his dreams.

-Happy days.

-I'm absolutely buzzing.

Cos, obviously, now we can have, like, the full shebang going on.

I need another beer.

It's two days to the wedding, and in true last-minute Josh style,

he's finally got round to inviting his bride.

We have an invite!

On a Spanish postcard.

-It's on Sunday.

-Sunday?

Oh, my God. I'm getting married on Sunday.

It's only two days before, but... there's a little bit of time.

It's better than the hen night.

"Please be ready for 1.30, when your carriage will arrive."

Could be like a Cinderella carriage. Horse and carriage?

Why has he put it on that?

I'm really, really curious to why it's on a postcard.

-It could mean that you're getting married in Spain.

-I hope we don't.

No, he wouldn't do that.

Well, he would, but he couldn't, so it's a bus.

Having slashed the food budget for his themed reception,

Josh has decided that £400 for food could go a long way,

especially if he buys it all here.

-I'm getting married on Sunday.

-How many people have we got to feed?

-About 150.

-For this Sunday? Is that a joke?

-No?

-No.

-No.

Pizzas, maybe, then. Buy one, get one free.

At this late stage, we'll go for anything.

50 quid's worth of chips, please.

Doner meat, so if we said ten portions.

Everyone likes doner meat.

-Add the rest. Sausages.

-Saveloys.

-Yeah, and saveloys.

This is the funniest order ever.

There's food, and that's the main thing. We've managed to get food.

And she loves saveloy, so I'm happy. I'll take that as a win.

As the clock ticks down, it's a race against time.

And, unsurprisingly, the boys still have plenty of planning to do.

The final buzzer's about to go, isn't it?

You're going to have flowers going, "Whoo".

-Me and Amy here.

-So, that's got to go, that's got to go.

We need three bridesmaids' dresses.

-Do you know the sizes?

-I can GUESS the sizes.

It's the day before the wedding,

and while Josh is still arranging things last-minute,

Amy is about to see the dress he has chosen for her big day.

She had her heart set on a sparkling princess gown,

but will the groom's plainer choice make or break her special day?

Been thinking about it since I was a little girl.

Every little girl wants to get married

and be a princess for the day.

I'm hoping it turns out like that

and it doesn't turn out like I look a sack of crap.

I'm just worried she's not going to like it.

Yeah, cos she'll roar. If she don't like it, she'll roar.

-Hi, I'm Amy.

-Nice to meet you.

-So, shall we go and try the dress on, then?

-Oh, my God.

I know I keep saying, "Oh, my God," but, oh, my God!

The dress, chosen by Josh, is plain and simple, and yet to be altered.

OK.

It's just not what I expected. It's just not what...

It's a shock. It's a real shock.

It's very, very plain. Very plain.

You know, I did want plain.

But, you know, after I tried on some other style dresses, you know,

they suited me really well and I'm just worried about this suiting me.

Um...

I'll try it on.

-Do you think it looks nice?

-ALL: Ahhh!

-It's nice.

-It's really plain, isn't it?

-Very Josh.

-It looks nice.

-It looks nice. It looks nice.

-I bet it were expensive as well.

-Why are you getting upset?

Don't be polite, cos I know what you're like.

You don't look confident in it like you did in the others.

You don't want to be upset.

You don't like it?

I don't want it, I don't like it.

It seems Josh has misjudged the dress.

Has he also made a mistake by losing the straps?

Josh actually requested some bespoke alterations as part of the dress.

So, he's actually asked us to make the dress strapless.

I can't believe how different that looks without the straps.

Amy, that looks gorgeous like that.

It appears a simple alteration

has had an extreme effect on Amy's opinion.

And Josh isn't finished yet.

-ALL EXCLAIM

-Oh, it's a veil!

She's got a veil!

I didn't think I'd have one.

I could see her face lift because she loves it.

And then I got more upset because she liked it!

You look just like a little princess.

-I can't believe the difference from when you first put it on.

-I know!

I hated it when I first put it on. And now...

-I love it now.

-How did he pick that?

-How's Josh chose this?

No way!

I want to high-five him right now. Not in the face, either!

Before the straps came down,

there was absolutely no way in hell I was wearing that dress, no way.

It just made me feel bigger than I feel I am.

I'll wear it and I'll feel happy in it.

It's the morning of Josh's surprise open-top bus wedding

and storm clouds are gathering.

It's going to ruin the day, really, if I get married outside.

I'm just going to look like a drowned rat.

I'm still in the dark about what's happening and where I'm going

and who I'm getting picked up by.

I want, you know, something pretty to come and pick me up.

Nothing embarrassing. I don't want to be embarrassed today at all.

Across town, the boys are doing their best to make things pretty.

I'm really busy, cos I'm getting married in about six, seven hours.

So, we got loads to do.

But with a forecast of rain and an open-top bus,

let's hope they have a plan B.

No, wait. The bus IS plan B. And even that's not going well.

-Josh has left another vital thing to the last minute.

-Hello?

I know this is very short notice,

but I'm looking for a hair and make-up artist.

For today.

It's the morning of the wedding and we've got no hair and make-up.

Now we're stuck. Amy's literally going to kick me in the nuts

if she don't get her hair done.

She will. She will.

I'm pretty sure everyone's going to be wondering where they are.

Correct.

Not leaving anything to chance, or to Josh,

the girls start getting themselves ready.

It's not looking good, is it?

But I thought everything would be sorted by now.

I wouldn't worry at all.

It's your wedding day, you're getting married to Josh.

That's all you want, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

That's all she wanted!

I don't know if she wants that now!

-But Josh finally pulls off a last-minute hairstylist...

-Yay!

-Can relax now.

-Yeah, I can breathe.

..and some last-minute make-up.

But what will Amy think of Josh's bridesmaids' dresses?

LAUGHTER

Don't you like 'em?

I just thought they'd be something that look a bit more bridesmaid.

But, no, I like them.

I'm warming to them. It's definitely Josh.

While the bride's mind is on her groom,

at the bus, there's only one topic of conversation.

The weather.

If it rains on the wedding day,

I don't think Amy's going to be happy about her make-up.

He knows what the British weather's like.

It's like, sunny one minute, raining the next.

We needed something undercover.

-I'm hoping I'm going to get picked up.

-I think we're walking.

There's nothing turned up.

It said on the invitation, "your carriage awaits".

If it starts raining, we'll just keep going.

A bit of wet don't hurt nobody.

Right, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.

As the wedding bus sets off, Amy gets her first clue

that today won't be the traditional day she dreamed of.

-I've just found this at the door.

-What is it?

-I don't know. Open it.

Looks like a present.

-Is he having a laugh?

-What is it?

-Oh, my God!

-What are they?

Bus tickets.

"To Amy. Your carriage will arrive at the bus stop at 2.25."

We're getting the bus to your wedding?

I can't stand at the bus stop looking like this.

Them buses are filthy.

There's, like, group savers and day savers.

-It's a joke.

-I'm hoping it's a joke.

-This is ridiculous.

-Oh, it's raining.

This is what proper Leicestershire weather is.

So, what are we doing?

-It's going to piss it down.

-This is ridiculous.

It's a bit damp, innit, up here?

It is taking the mick. It really is taking the mick.

I'm going to get soaked. Let's just hope it's inside.

So, when we get round this corner here, we've got to duck.

I hope she's there, I hope she hasn't gone home.

Here you are, something's coming. There's loads of people on it.

-It's not got a top!

-God, what the hell...?

It's got "85" on it, look.

Oh, my God.

-Oh, my God.

-Everybody's on it!

CHEERING

-Where's Josh?

-Josh?

He's hiding upstairs, Amy, in the rain,

waiting for the bus to stop so you can get married,

upstairs in the rain.

But you don't know that yet.

-Where do you think we are going?

-Whereabouts are we?

-I don't know.

There's nothing round here.

-It's going to really chuck it down, so let's hope it's...

-It's inside.

Unable to get married on a moving bus,

they pull into a car park for the ceremony.

-Rugby club!

-It's a bit...weird, getting married in a rugby club.

The heavens may now be as open as the roof of the bus,

but the groom has another surprise for Amy.

He's going to serenade her down the aisle

with the football song she sang with her dad.

But in typical Josh fashion, he's left the rehearsal,

and the choice of key, to the very last minute.

-OFF-KEY:

-# Only fools rush in

# For I...

-# ..falling in love with you... #

-Can I have an umbrella?

# Shall I stay?

# Would it be...? #

Why are we getting married outside?

-It was nice and sunny earlier.

-Was it?! Was it?

-Yeah.

-This is ridiculous.

-Do you want to get married?

After three weeks apart, neither the weather nor Josh's singing

will stop this bride marrying her man.

Josh and Amy, I was told that this love story started

when you both met on the number 85 bus in Leicestershire.

And this love is what has brought us all here today.

-Joshua, will you take Amy to be your wife?

-I will.

Amy, will you take Joshua to be your husband?

I will.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

CHEERING

It's not what I would have chosen.

-It's so you. But...

-It's the love story, though.

-It is.

-We fell in love on the 85 bus, didn't we?

Very thoughtful.

He was playing the whole song when we were going down the aisle,

which reminds me of my dad,

so, I mean, he has done really, really well on that part.

So, Josh's damp trip down memory lane has been a success so far.

But what will Amy make of her live music,

Spanish beach wedding reception?

Just remember that I love you and I've done this for you.

You will love it.

-Is it a grungy venue?

-No.

If by grungy, you mean a dark, windowless rock venue,

then you might want to hop off the bus now.

Yeah. Oh, I knew it!

First impressions, not so good.

Live music?

It's getting a bit like a joke, really.

He knows I hate live music.

Well, if Josh didn't know that, he's about to find out...

-Oh, my God!

-It stinks.

..as Amy gets her first look at her reception.

Oh, Jesus...

This is so not me at all.

It really isn't.

I mean, a live music venue.

I feel like he's not really thought of me in this at all.

I wanted to walk into a nice venue with lots of tables and chairs,

lots of flowers everywhere, really, really pretty.

You know, like what a bride wants for their wedding day.

Not this. It's going to be really loud, as well, in here.

I'm just...speechless.

Anywhere but here would have been great.

I'd have rather been outside. And that's saying something.

This place is just vile.

I don't know how everyone's going to fit in.

Time to face the music.

-What do you think?

-It's crap. Why are we here?

Josh attempts to talk his way out by telling Amy

about the Spanish beach wedding abroad that she almost had.

Me and Dean went to Spain.

We were sweating our nuts off. Actually couldn't get it done.

And it absolutely killed me when I knew I couldn't get you out there.

Amazingly, it seems to work.

Very thoughtful.

Look at the cobwebs!

With his bride almost won over by his romantic idea,

Josh's reception swings into action.

-It looks a BLEEP from the outside.

-Mother!

-You've transformed it.

-I'm really impressed.

I think he's really... He's pushed the boat out. He's done well.

Absolutely brilliant. And how romantic.

I didn't know they met on the bus.

His contented guests tuck in to his kebab shop buffet.

It's not what I would have picked.

You know, I expected a sit-down meal.

I mean, I am sitting down, on a bench, eating chips.

Underneath the pile of kebab meat!

Which I will get through.

And, finally, Josh takes to the stage for the highlight of the reception

and the moment he spent literally minutes rehearsing for.

Really hope you all enjoy a wicked night

and, Amy, I love you more than anything.

MUSIC: Are You Gonna Be My Girl

# One, two, three Take my hand and come with me

# Cos you look so fine and I really wanna make you mine... #

The crowd love it, and the bride's smiling, too.

# Are you gonna be my girl? #

-Thank you.

-CHEERING

I hate live music. Not your live music. You were fantastic.

You know that's why I chose a place like this,

to take what I used to love and what I currently love more than anything

and put them together.

It would be nice for you to get back into it again, wouldn't it?

-You are really good.

-Yeah, it would be nice.

As the reception rocks into the night,

has the bride who just wanted a traditional indoor wedding

been wooed by her trip down memory lane?

When I first got my bus passes, I wanted to punch him in the face.

Yeah, I thought you would.

But as soon as I saw Josh, I fell in love with him.

And as he's recreated that today, it's been lovely.

I can tell a lot of thought went into it.

Every single day has been worth it just to marry Amy in this way.

But I wouldn't do it again,

just for the sheer fact I can't be without her.

And the next day, in a much drier legal ceremony,

Josh and Amy made it official.

Next time, Joker Lee...

..plans a fairy-tale winter wonderland wedding in August...

I want her to walk under the snow.

..while all his bride Ellie wants is a small, intimate day

with no jokes.

If he were to do something to do with dwarves

or dressing up as Snow White, I'd be, like, "Oh, my God!"

Will his wintry wonderland wow his bride?

Or will he just end up with a frosty reception?