Pippa and Tony Don't Tell the Bride

-Tony and Pippa are head over heels in love.

-He's a gorgeous person.

-They're desperate to get hitched.

But Pippa works as a nurse and between them, they don't earn much money.

-So we're giving them £12,000.

-I'm so excited!

And a chance for Tony to prove himself to the woman he loves.

But there's a catch - every single decision between now

-and the wedding must be made by Tony alone.

-I'm dead!

He and Pippa have agreed in the presence of a lawyer that she will

-know absolutely nothing until the big day.

-I'm very worried.

Three weeks apart will push their relationship to the limit.

I want to hear him say everything's OK, trust me.

So will his best men give him the best advice?

It's for the wedding!

It's not for her, though. A vodka luge is not for her.

Will he survive a Dutch stag party?

-And does he have a clue...

-Is that a 10?

..how to find the perfect dress?

SHE GROANS

Can this man give his woman a day she will never forget?

If he gets it wrong, then it's like, how well do you know me?

Today, Pippa's moving out of the house she shares with Tony

and back in with her parents for the next three weeks.

This isn't their first stab at a wedding.

They already had one organised, but things didn't go according to plan.

We decided that we might have to postpone the wedding in January

because Tony was out of work over Christmas for about three months.

And we couldn't save for the wedding and pay our bills just on one wage.

Pippa really had her heart set on it and there was just nothing really

that I could do in order to try and make it happen still.

So now, Pippa's taken control of their finances.

I just wanted to pay £24, please.

He has no idea what comes out of our account and what goes in and balancing the books.

He just can't do it.

Stop defacing the bill!

I will say, you have this much and I have this much.

And it's not the only area where she rules the roost.

I'm in control of the relationship. Honey! Honey!

I'm in control of the relationship!

-Can't you just say...

-You're in charge of the cooking and the bins!

Go on, honey, please scoop out the tray. Show me you can do it.

That's disgusting!

HE CHOKES

It still smells!

That's rubbish stuff to be in control of!

Can't you give me something good?

-Like what?

-I don't know.

-I'm in charge of all the good stuff!

But now, Tony's in control of Pippa's big day.

It's a point now where I see it as a challenge and just want to prove to everyone, look what I can do.

For everyone to go, actually, you did a really good job.

I can't believe you did manage to pull it off.

You know, prove people wrong.

Philippa knows exactly what she wants on her day. Exactly.

She's planning mad. She makes lists for lists.

And everything is clearly written down.

The idea of Tony organising this wedding,

without Pippa's input,

is probably complete madness.

And he's only got three weeks to pull it off!

When I see you again, it will be the happiest day of your life. I promise.

-I love you.

-I love you too.

Fortunately, Dad Cabs are there to pick up the pieces!

-Welcome home!

-Oh! This is my home!

The next time they see each other will be at the altar.

It's going to be a lot harder than what I thought it's going to be.

Three weeks of not being able to speak to her - it's going to be tough.

Best man Archie arrives to help Tony brainstorm.

But he's a sales rep, not a wedding planner.

Welcome to wedding HQ!

-Don't worry about a coaster.

-So what's top of their to-do list?

You can charter a boat in order to do the wedding breakfast.

And then like, getting taken off the boat...

-Onto speed boats?

-Yeah.

You could even like, ski off or something like that!

-THEY LAUGH

-Tony will absolutely love

having a big, massive, rowdy party.

And I would as well! But I can't see Pippa really enjoying that on her wedding night!

Vodka luge!

-What the hell is that?

-It's an ice sculpture, right, which

has a bit at the bottom, like where you put your mouth.

And you pour vodka down it, or Sambuca, or Cointreau.

Something that's just going to put you in a smouldering mess!

That's brilliant. I love it!

I don't care whether you've organised

a celebrity wedding or whatever. I don't think anyone could do it

like what she would want it in her head.

So I kind of am a bit worried about what he might do!

Something else - parachuting in.

Absolutely class! Brilliant.

The wedding is like an entering of adulthood.

And although you have other milestones, this will be the single most important day of my life.

-Casino.

-Yes! Underline and exclamation mark. That would be brilliant.

At the end of the day, the day's about the wedding, so it's not a party - it's a wedding!

The important thing to me on the wedding day is to have the party at the end.

I mean, I've been told by Pippa if I call it that, I won't be invited, but I'm planning it now, so...!

It's day two.

And Tony's feeling upbeat.

I think we're really going to pull it off and put on a really, really good wedding for Pippa and me.

A feeling which lasts about five minutes.

Not open on Saturday.

I'm calling about the possibility of booking a venue for a wedding.

Hello?

They're on the phone!

Crap!

Yeah. Is it possible, I mean, to come and arrange a viewing today?

That's brilliant. All right, thank you very much. Bye-bye.

Her first appointment, though, is in an hour. So we've got to get going now.

If I pulled up, and there was... I don't know,

a garage, or a barn or something like that - not impressed!

So how about an old mill?

At least it has a state-of-the-art laser show!

It's not going to look quite as authentic because there's bright light out there.

BLAST OF MUSIC

-Come on, let's see!

-No, I'm leading!

-THEY LAUGH

-Oh, Tony, put him down!

-I'm uncomfortable now, actually!

Just pretend you're Pippa!

THEY LAUGH Classic!

Did you enjoy that?

Get it on!

-Thank you very much.

-Good luck, chaps.

May the Force be with you! All the best.

At this rate, they're going to need all the force they can get!

I feel like we've wasted today so far.

If we can't get any more viewings, what are we going to do?

We'll have to have it in the back garden, or something!

At least we'd have the wow factor - it would be like,

wow, you're a bloody idiot!

CHURCH ORGAN MUSIC

Pippa's also got wedding venues on her mind.

But of a more traditional kind.

She decides to show her godmother her favourite church, and its unique attraction.

-Longest aisle in Ipswich.

-Is it?

-Yes.

-Shall we walk it? I think we should.

-Shall I be the bridesmaid?

Yeah, go on!

THEY HUM THE WEDDING MARCH

I would put, like, you know, organza ribbon down here with some bows, make it pink.

Some flowers, maybe.

And then that's it, then you stop.

-Is it here?

-Here.

-So he'd be standing there?

-He'd be standing there.

One of the reasons why I like the length of the aisle is because

everybody will have more time to look at us all in our freshest state!

Look at me! Look at me, me, me!

-And if they spend too much time looking at the bridesmaids, I'll cry!

-No, you'll be in front.

-I'll be in front.

-You will be in front, everybody will look at you. Don't worry about that.

I think that Tony knows the church is important to me.

But I don't think he knows to the extent of why it's important, or how important it is.

But the longest aisle in Ipswich isn't on Tony's wish list.

The church, for me, is not something I believe in.

I'm not religious. And if I was to make my vows in front of God and say, you know, vows to Pippa,

you know, while I'm supposed to be making them in front of God as well, I would feel as though I'm lying.

Hmmm. Maybe they should have discussed this beforehand!

I'll make up for it in other ways. She'll still get her perfect day.

Just apart from the church bit!

I'm dead!

Day four, and Tony's called in reinforcements.

Archie's joined by joint best man, Phil, who is a student and part-time speedboat salesman.

They meet at Christchurch Mansion - a stately home which is open to the public.

-This is the wedding room.

-Uh-huh.

-It holds 45 people.

-Is 45 a maximum?

Yes. Yes, it is. The minstrels' gallery...

That might be a squeeze for his 65 guests, but Tony's distracted by his ideas for some macho entertainment.

We could go from here and then parachute into the evening reception do.

Three James Bonds, then?!

-Yeah.

-Right...

Not too sure about the 007 thing.

Erm, not coming down in a parachute, anyhow. Little bit dangerous.

Things may go wrong.

You've got a stag night - can't you just do a James Bond theme on the stag night?

Bond themed stag night.

We were thinking about paintballing, so...

-Thinking about shooting.

-He's got to steer away from the boys' theme and think about his bride-to-be as well.

Would the bride-to-be appreciate the next venue on the boys' list?

Boreham House was once owned by Henry Ford and is Grade I listed.

Oh, my God! This is amazing!

This is absolutely fantastic. Wow.

This is proper special.

You're a bit blown away, really.

-Yeah, I am.

-The owner's on hand to give them the tour.

-Hi, you must be Tony.

-I'm Tony, yes.

-Hi Tony, I'm Teresa.

-I'm the groom.

-Lovely.

-Nice to meet you.

-OK, this is the ceremony room.

Holds up to 120 people.

I think it's a spectacular room.

-Again - oh, my God!

-Yeah, it's fantastic.

That view is fantastic as well, isn't it?

OK. This is the dining room.

This is where you would eat. Crystal on the table - we always use crystal.

-So this is a really nice, intimate room.

-It's certainly intimate.

But that doesn't put Tony off.

You've got a separate room for the ceremony, sit-down meal, then...

Then we go out to the evening, yes. We've got full use of everything.

We actually like to call this our palace in the grounds.

This is where we convert your evening into something spectacular.

So your guests have seen the splendour of the house and then they come through to the pavilion.

-So there you have it.

-This is brilliant. This is really nice.

But how much is all this splendour going to cost?

I think we need to go in with a bit of a game plan.

And I'm pretty blown away by this place.

I'm kind of a bit nervous for you as well, now!

-Cos this could be the place.

-Yeah.

I'm just like... how much is she gonna...?

A wedding in April, a normal wedding, having what you've got,

would probably come to about £14,000, in all honesty.

What's the best you can do?

Three-and a-half, maybe.

Bearing in mind that it's three weeks away, and you're unlikely to get another wedding booking.

Of course, we won't. You're right. Do you love it?

Yes. Yeah, I think you can tell that I do.

It's his favourite place we've seen so far.

By far. And I know that Pippa would love it too.

Right, whatever your budget is, tell me, and we'll do it for it.

It's not about money, it's about your dream.

Because to do a dream is something that's very, very special.

I think you should say, thanks very much.

I will! You're amazing. Thank you.

It's going to be a dream. It's going to be fantastic - the best wedding you could ever have dreamed of.

Result!

Tony's managed to bag the mansion for a quarter of the normal price.

So excited about it. I just can't wait now.

I'm welling up, and it's...

yeah, a really emotional day, but...

I'll get a good night's sleep tonight, I think!

Cos this is just a big weight off my mind.

I've got the venue! I've got the venue.

So, yeah, happy. Very happy.

I'm getting married here! Yes!

But what will Pippa think? Instead of looking at the longest aisle in Ipswich,

she will now be going down the shortest aisle in Chelmsford.

After getting a great deal on his venue, Tony's working out how much he can blow on the party.

£8600. That's like over three grand for fun.

And we've over-costed.

Left out of the wedding planning, Pippa's only consolation is her box

full of ideas for their original wedding.

# Love is like a butterfly

# As soft and gentle as a sigh... #

That was my favourite. Cos our theme was butterflies.

You have to clip the butterfly to open the invitation, which I thought was really cute.

# Love is like a butterfly

# A rare and gentle thing... #

We decided that we'd get... well, I decided that we'd get real flowers!

Tony didn't care!

# Love is like a butterfly... #

It's lots of fun, organising.

I love organising! And putting things into order and writing lists and thinking, dreaming, really.

Living dreams out in a box, really.

The boys are indulging in some dreams of their own.

I think maybe a call in to the RAF to see if they'll do a fly by.

Shooting - clay-pigeon. A freak show!

-That ruined my idea! A freak show.

-A bouncy assault course...

I can't believe how much we've got to spend, still.

With so much money left over, talk turns to the stag fund.

-I'll leave it to you guys.

-What do you think - New York?

-New York would be awesome.

-But then you could go Eastern Europe...

-Sweden.

-Eastern Europe. Sweden?!

Blonde, busty girls.

So whose stag do is this?

Back at home, Tony's having second thoughts about splashing so much cash on himself.

I'm over-ruling New York cos I think it's a bit difficult to justify 900 quid

for the three of us for a stag do, when we're only putting 150 quid in for the hens!

You're killing my mojo here, Tony!

No, I'm not justifying £900 out of the budget for our stag do.

I really don't. Just put the stag do on the back burner for the time being.

-Let's get the quotes on the things.

-Boo!

Right, where's the list of the fun stuff...?

You're killing me, actually! Absolutely killing me!

-Let's just do it, quickly.

-We're after some fun.

Yeah, I'm thinking I've got to spend the rest of my life with Pippa, and if I've blown 900 quid...

I'm feeling a bit stressed at the moment.

It's mostly because of

talk of the stag do in New York.

I actually this afternoon just wanted to ask

Phil and Archie to leave, and just wanted to get on with it by myself.

It's the end of week one.

With the venue sorted, but nothing else booked, Tony's thoughts turn to the dress.

His knowledge on the topic is... sketchy, to say the least.

So, what are you actually looking for? Have you got any ideas?

-A wedding dress!

-What sort of size is she?

-I don't have a clue.

-No idea?

-No.

She's not skinny, but she's not fat.

12 or 14 maybe, that sort of size?

I don't know.

-I don't know either.

-This is going to be fun, isn't it?

-Is that a 10?

-That is a 10.

-Something like that is a 10. She's bigger than a 10.

-You can stop doing that now!

Pippa's also trying on dresses, and she knows exactly what she wants.

That is my dress! That's it.

How beautiful is it, though?

That's so pretty!

Because I'd already seen one and chosen one, and put a deposit down on

my dream dress, I think he's going to have a hard time

finding my second dream dress.

She can model the dream dress for her mum and bridesmaids, but she won't be wearing it on the day.

This dress is everything you've wanted, isn't it?

It's the dream dress.

I just love it. It's the most...

it's just really comfortable.

It's the mix of elegant and simple, with a little bit of sparkle.

It would be fantastic if Tony picked that dress for you, wouldn't it?

It would be freaky, really freaky.

Freaky? It would be a miracle!

With thousands of wedding dresses to choose from, and no idea of what he wants, Tony's floundering.

D'you want ivory, white, would you like a colour, gold-colour? Have you thought about that?

I guess that's a no, then.

This is slightly plainer. That's got a tie up detail on the back.

Nice detail, just with a slight colouring on the beads and embroidery.

Have a look round the other side as well.

Will the answer be waiting for him there, then?

That's a beautiful dress on.

Beautiful shape on.

All this choice is leaving Tony quite literally lost for words.

That's very fitted.

Some detail on the back of the train.

It's taffeta, this one. It's a soft fabric.

Don't confuse me with more terms!

Poor love - it's all just too much.

It'll be fine, honestly. She will love what you pick.

You wait and see.

I'm not so sure!

Seeing her dream dress again reminds Pippa why no other dress will do.

-Would you want, like, separates?

-No.

-Do you want it that sparkly?

-No.

Corset back.

I hate buttons.

What's that?

-The body is too short.

-You don't really like that one at all, then?

-No.

I don't do red, and I don't do pink.

And I don't do black.

I hate lace and I don't want to look like a cake, either.

We are going to see how Tony really knows you, aren't we?

Yes. But that's the problem.

Because if he gets it wrong, then it's like, "How well do you know me?"

It could go extremely wrong very, very quickly.

He could buy a colour and put her in, for example, a red dress.

-She'd be devastated.

-But I think Tony is sensible. I think he knows what...

what she likes.

Or does he?

I really like this one. There's not anything on it that I would change.

The question is, would Pippa like it?

No, you can't buy red. You can't do it.

Do you not reckon?

Pippa is just trying to get her head around any dress that isn't her dream dress.

I hate it with a capital H.

I always said, you know, as long as the dress fit and it was comfortable,

it really didn't matter what it look like.

Because he's chosen it for some reason.

However, now I'm in the position, I'm not sure I WOULD just wear it.

I am quite worried.

Because you've got such an idea of what you want.

Oh, see, this is the problem because I don't think another dress is going to be good enough.

I do think that you've got to put that dress behind you.

You know, you're going to upset yourself.

You're going to ruin a lovely day.

Because you don't know what you're going to be wearing until the day before.

-SOBBING

-Don't you cry.

I know it's stupid, because it is just a dress, but...

Don't cry.

Makes it real, doesn't it?

She's really crying.

I always said the dress would be the most important thing for her.

With Pippa's heart set on one dress and one dress alone, Tony's chances of making her happy seem doomed.

I've broken it. Take it back.

It's supposed to be like that.

Where does this bit go, then?

Not doing that again, get me out of here!

Quite a nice dress.

-It's like my duvet.

-How are you getting on?

Not very well.

-Do you want me to pick some out for you?

-Yeah, if you could.

-OK.

There's an A-line.

Mm-hm.

That's quite nice. Do you have anyone here that could try it on for us?

-Or on a mannequin, or...

-On a mannequin?

-Yeah, or on someone. Yeah.

-Yeah, can do that for you, if you want.

-Yes, please.

After going to three shops and considering just four dresses, Tony gives in and picks one.

Buttons and all.

I hate buttons.

-So, you don't want to go and see any more?

-Nope.

-Sold.

-Yep.

-Happy days.

-Done. Dress done.

With the dreaded dress out of the way, Tony gets down to business.

-After 10 days, he's chosen flowers...

-Thank you very much.

Hired some suits.

-And taken a gamble on the evening entertainment.

-Yeah. I'd like blackjack, roulette.

-How much would that be?

-But the cost is starting to mount up.

Today's the day he's buying wedding rings.

But after spending two-thirds of his 12 grand budget, he wants to make some savings.

-1,300? Are you having a laugh?

-Yeah, I'm not spending that much!

-You've not got a budget.

Sorry, if she didn't get a wedding ring, we needed a bucking bronco.

Across town, Pippa's dream ring is in a different price bracket altogether.

That is nice. How much is that one?

That one's 2,600.

Thereabouts.

Brilliant. That is very pretty.

Pippa wants a ring with bling, and Tony's got it.

For himself.

See, I like... I quite like it.

Oh, and Pippa's costs £120 less than his.

Will she be happy that your ring cost more?

Look, I've just planned this whole wedding, so I deserve the more expensive ring, I think.

-Come on, guys.

-See ya... see ya later.

Tony spent a lot of time choosing his ring and... I was surprised because I thought

be would spend most of the time talking about hers, but we spent all the time talking about Tony's ring.

And hers was an afterthought.

With just over a week to go to the wedding, Pippa's dad is taking Tony out for a quiet drink.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

What Tony doesn't know is that his stag party starts tonight, and it's going to last for two whole days.

-Hello. Hello, stranger.

-Are you all right?

-You better drink up, because we've got to go.

Oh, my days!

-You coming too?

-I'm coming too.

-Great!

-You sneaky beggar!

Back at home, Pippa can only guess what he's up do.

I think Tony's on his stag do tonight.

Actually, I think Tony is having a stag weekend.

Because my dad wasn't here last night when I got home.

And he's still not here now.

Where are they?

# A mouse lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam

# A windmill with a mouse in and he wasn't browsing... #

Hey, man!

I'm sure they're doing something active.

Rather than just drinking.

Paintballing. Go-karting.

That is awful.

As long as someone's being sensible and looking after him.

-Like my dad.

-Abraham...

It's my stag do.

And I'm in Amsterdam. So, I've got to get absolutely trashed.

That's... they're the rules.

I think my dad will look after him.

And make sure that the boys aren't doing stupid things.

Shall we get him the kinky tart?

This paired with that, look at that.

I'll go with that.

String vest?

Who's the daddy?

This specimen is marrying my daughter next Friday.

I've gone from proud to sick.

I also think, you know, I will still be at the forefront of his mind.

I think it's time to call it a night. Let's get some sleep.

Back in Ipswich, Pippa meets sister Vicky for a drink.

Although she's not allowed to make any decisions herself,

there's nothing to stop her dropping a few hints.

Bridesmaid's dress. I really would like you to have a very plain, simple dress.

With preferably no sparkle.

And straps.

-Wow.

-And I would like you to remember what I want when you go looking for dresses.

-Rather than what you want.

-Right. It'll be a case of what looks best.

-What I'm asking you is, think of my feelings when you're picking it.

-I won't get something you'd hate.

It doesn't matter, because Tony gets the final say and he won't let you.

Well, it's a silly conversation, then. Isn't it?

You can't exactly refuse to wear it, because then you're refusing to be a bridesmaid.

-And you're not going to do that to me, I know you're not.

-You're so aggressive.

Because I know you're going to go out and pick a really sparkly big strapless dress.

-I'm not...

-That's going to...

-..intentionally going to pick anything.

If it was your wedding, I'd do as I was told.

You are so aggressive. You're like the bride from hell.

-Why am I?

-Because you are.

Vicky, just pick a dress that's plain, with straps. Simple as that.

That's cleared that up, then.

But it's not going to be easy for Tony to please three bridesmaids and stick to his colour scheme,

inspired by the wedding dress he wasn't brave enough to buy.

The colour scheme is burgundy.

So, go find some burgundy dresses.

Burgundy is like red, yeah?

It's burgundy.

-Right, burgundy.

-OK.

-Are you going to stand there, or are you going to pick some dresses?

I'm scouring, that's all.

-Scouring or scowling?

-Scowling.

Me and the bridesmaids have a pact together that we've arranged beforehand, that if one of us

says we don't like it, none of us will wear it.

-So, he's taking on three of us, basically.

-Good luck to him, then.

-That's a horrible dress, but that colour?

-Why is it horrible?

-It's shiny. You don't want shiny.

Do you hate that, too? Good. Thank you.

But it is plain and strappy.

Just try it on, you might find, you never know, you might go, "Well, actually, this is really nice".

I will try on the dress.

If it just gets us moving.

No!

It's horrible.

-You hate it too, don't you?

-I actually think it looks all right.

Look.

-That's on the inside.

-That's organza!

Suddenly, Tony is a fashion expert.

-Do you hate it too?

-I wouldn't expect you to wear a dress that you hated.

So, that's fine.

We really need to speed up the dress trying on, though.

Because, we've been here, like, nearly half an hour. And that's one dress.

I don't think you're going to find anything burgundy in April.

-Trust me, we'll get burgundy.

-Not in the fashion shops, no.

We'll get burgundy. We'll get burgundy.

For the sake of an easy life, Tony finally opts to get the

dresses specially made in a style which suits all three bridesmaids.

So, then, girls.

Which is your favourite, Roz?

-This one's my favourite.

-Vicky?

Shannon? So, you're happy with that one, then?

I think so, yeah.

But they are strapless. What will Pippa say?

-Are you happy, though?

-I'm happy, I like it.

And at £300, they're not cheap.

That's 11 grand of his budget, gone.

It's the evening of Pippa's mystery hen night.

Seriously, where are we going?

Tony has organised for us all to go to the place where you had your first date.

It's not a weekend in Amsterdam, though, is it?

Still, it's a chance for Pippa to stop worrying and let her hair down.

Do you want to be a good girl or a bad girl?

Thank you. Look at me.

I'm dressed up in a pink flashy band, L plates and a veil with my name on it and a tiara.

I'm a princess.

# She's getting married in the morning... #

My sister, historically, cannot handle her alcohol.

And I am ready to be a bride.

But it's not long before it turns messy.

And it's left to big sis to get her home.

It's the morning after.

Well, I couldn't look any rougher.

Oh, my God. Now, I am actually getting married.

I'm really looking forward to it now. I can't stop smiling.

Let's do it already.

But while Pippa can lie in bed, Tony only has four days left.

Invitations have been sent and he's found a photographer.

-See you Friday.

-See you Friday. Good luck.

-Thanks.

But he still hasn't organised any transport.

He's only got 900 quid left and is hoping to get two limos.

It's a beast, isn't it?

Very impressive.

-Do you get any drinks in this, as well?

-Yeah, we put complimentary bubbly in

for you as well, on the wedding.

I really like it.

We'll take the Hummer and the Phantom.

Could you do 850 for them both?

875, yeah?

-Go on then.

-It is a good deal. That's a good deal.

-Yeah.

But that's a net price.

You are looking at 875 plus VAT.

BLEEP!

-Basically.

-The blood of the country, my man, isn't it?

-What's the total?

£1,028.12.

Crap. I don't think we've got £1,000 for it. Gutted.

I don't know what to say.

We'll still take the Phantom though, definitely.

-Yeah, that's fine.

-Thanks very much.

Shaken by the discovery that he needs to pay VAT, Tony decides to visit Teresa at Boreham House.

She had quoted him £3,200.

But did that include VAT?

It is plus VAT.

In the wedding industry generally it is plus, if you're VAT registered, it's plus VAT.

Just generally, on everything.

It's bad, but...

It depends. You just have to check if everyone has registered for VAT, whether they are doing plus VAT.

Photographer, videographer, if they've all then got plus VAT on them.

You're... you're... normally it's...

Yeah, you need to check. Yep.

Once he factors in nearly £600 worth of VAT on the venue, he's £300 over budget.

But this could be just the tip of the iceberg.

If everything's excluding VAT, then I'm probably about three grand over budget.

Back at home, the enormity of his financial crisis is starting to sink in.

Tomorrow I'm going to have to call all of the...

people that I've booked, to see if their prices were inclusive of VAT or not, what they quoted to me.

If the people haven't included VAT in the prices and I have to cancel stuff,

it's gone from being a great wedding to

an average wedding, which is what I'd never wanted.

I wanted it to be something special.

I've just had enough.

I'm just calling... the 898.95 that you quoted us, does that include VAT?

Can you ask her if the £100 per dress included VAT?

We were quoted £470 for the suits. I'm just seeing if that was inclusive of VAT?

# You won't admit you love me... #

Blissfully unaware of Tony's troubles,

Pippa's doing some window shopping for table decorations.

# Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. #

Something like that.

That's quite pretty, with the floating thing in the water.

But I would prefer something more of a statement.

More extravagant.

A bit more grand.

So, you know, three pink tip calla lilies in a tall vase

with some pretty sand, some mirrors, the candles.

Mostly, I want my cake and eat it. I want it all in one thing.

But to get his budget under control, Tony has got to make some ruthless cuts.

Looks like we might be sacking off the table guff.

What about the fish bowls with the... Are you going to bother?

No. There's no point.

Oh, look.

Now, that is lovely.

That is very pretty and it's a statement.

People will walk in and there's no way you're not going to see it.

Shame it's not the statement Tony's going to make.

I want that, now.

Let's just do a quick tot-up.

We are still under budget.

Thank feck for that. But that means no vodka luge or bucking bronco.

So, they are...

But Phil thinks there's no reason why Tony can't shell out for some of the extras himself.

OK. You phone up Pippa and ask her. See what her reaction is.

Just say, Tony wants to put £100 of our money into it

because it is OUR money, it's not just mine.

And if she went out and bought something for £100

-without talking to me first, I would be

-BLEEP

-pissed off.

But it's for the wedding.

It's not for her, though. A vodka luge is not for her.

-Not talking to me?

-No. I'm pissed off.

After a stressful few days, Tony finally has a moment to reflect.

I'm trying...

to write...

my own vows.

I think it would mean a lot to her to know that I've gone through the effort,

to sit down and try and write my own vows to her,

which I wouldn't have been able to do if we'd had the church wedding.

I think that she will be upset

that she's not got the church wedding that she always dreamed of.

But with the vows, it gives me a great opportunity

to make up for the fact that we've not got the church.

Thinking about the vows has made him realise how much he misses her.

It's really lonely, being in the house by myself.

It's not... I hate it.

It just...

cements the fact

that I do want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her

because it's horrible without her.

It really is. I don't like it.

It's the day before the wedding,

which can mean only one thing.

Hello, Pippa has come to try her wedding dress on today.

She finally gets to see Tony's idea of a dream dress.

The bodies are really short and I have...

-They're not all really short.

-Find one with a long body.

-That one?

That's not got a long body.

-Nope.

-That one?

That's not got a body at all.

I'm seeing lots of dresses that don't have buttons on.

So I'm quite happy about that.

I feel sick. Can we do this?

Oh! Look at the train on it.

Is that the dress? Wow!

Do you like it?

Um...

Why has it got brown on it?

It might be something to do with the colour scheme.

Oh, my God, look at all the buttons!

I think that's really pretty. It's going to look gorgeous.

I know you don't like buttons, but you're not going to see them.

But it's not like there's just ten, it goes down to the bottom.

-They're dress buttons.

-Mum, I'll just put it on, OK?

It's a lovely dress.

We'll see.

She actually hates it, you can tell.

Wow! I think that's gorgeous.

-So do I.

-I think that is stunning.

What do you think?

-I think my hips look huge.

-No, it doesn't.

Not at all. You've got no waist at all.

You can't even see your hips.

Is that your veil?

Lovely, isn't it?

It's got a sparkle in that.

-What don't you like?

-My hips.

You can't tell.

You keep saying that, but I can see them.

I'm not stupid.

What do you want to do?

Take the colour off it for starters.

You don't like the colour on it.

The buttons go right down to the floor.

And my hips look massive.

I think you look lovely in it.

Do you want me to ring Tony and say that you don't want to wear the dress?

Tell him I don't like it.

It's your choice. I can ring Tony.

Why are we having a discussion? Ring him.

It sounds really spoilt, Philippa.

She doesn't.

-I thought you came to support me.

-You don't like the dress?

-Do I like it? Do I look like I like it?

-OK.

So you telling me how small my waist is is not going to make me like it any more.

-If I have to wear it, I have to wear it.

-I'll ring him.

I think you look stunning.

Mum, you'd say that if I had a bin bag on my head.

Do I look comfortable in it?

Hello.

-Hiya, it's Vicky.

-Hiya.

She don't like the dress, Tone.

-So she's not going to wear it or...

-I don't think she's going to wear it.

-She thinks it makes her hips look really big.

-Right.

Can the lady in the shop not swap it for something else?

-I don't think she can because it's made to measure, isn't it?

-Oh, right.

What do we do?

-That's

-BLEEP

-ridiculous.

Tony has failed in his most important task.

Can Pippa's sister salvage the situation?

Where do we get a dress the day before the wedding?

-What size is it?

-It would fit.

Take it down, show her.

What about this one?

That looks so much better.

Go away. Please.

But it's not the dress she'd always dreamed of getting married in.

That is better.

See, now my hips don't look like Manhattan.

-Well done.

-Thank you very much.

I don't even like lace, but that is pretty.

It's pretty with that on it.

-It is pretty. It's really cute.

-I think it's lovely with that little thing on.

-Yeah.

It's quite Sound Of Music wedding dress, don't you think?

Astonishingly, the kind shop owner agrees to take back the first dress.

Lucky Tony will only have to pay the difference.

-The balance is £71.50.

-OK.

-£71.50.

-Yeah.

What now?

Yeah, we've got some money left in the budget.

-OK, so she can have it?

-Yeah.

-OK, Vics.

-OK, bye.

-By pinching his pennies, Tony has allowed Pippa to get a dress she loves.

-Sorted.

The vodka luge now seems like a small sacrifice.

Dress sorted, Tony still has a long "to do" list to go through.

How much have we got left to do?

We've got to get suits, dresses, rings, favours.

We've got to make the favours and we've not got much time. Thank you.

For the lady. My bit of bling as well. Perfect.

Chocolate footballs or something for favours.

Can I also have all of those sugared almonds?

-Thanks very much for your help. Happy with that?

-I'm happy.

You're so weird. Let's go.

It's the evening before the wedding.

I assume he's probably having a quiet drink with the boys.

Non-alcoholic, hopefully, cos he's crap with a hangover.

I told him that if he drank

and was hungover for our wedding day we would get it annulled.

That will make him think twice... Won't it?

Go on, Tony. Go on, son.

Just one or two quiet beverages...

Something like that.

19 shots later, he finally calls it a night.

What a wally!

The big day is finally here,

but someone's got a sore head...

..and seems to be wearing a nightie.

What the hell is a fat man dress?

How you feeling?

Awful.

-Absolutely awful.

-What's happening today?

Yeah, my marriage. No, I'm not ready for today.

I'd rather just stay in bed.

Pippa, meanwhile, been awake since 6am.

I'm so excited I might burst!

I want to get my dress already.

Stop, stop.

It's 10.30 and with the wedding in just over three hours,

Tony gets a rude awakening from his future father-in-law.

Is it right to keep the dad on the steps?

You're not still in bed.

-Your bride is looking gorgeous already.

-Is she?

If I'd known you'd been drinking, I'd have brought a stick round and smacked you.

-I'll get in the shower.

-Good.

I'm feeling really excited.

I didn't expect to be doing his ironing, but never mind.

Really looking forward to the rest of the day.

Before the hustle and bustle starts today,

I just wanted to say, genuinely, welcome to our family.

Thanks very much.

Have a good time today.

Cheers, Pops.

So are the bridesmaids' dresses simple enough to meet with the bride's approval?

Oh, Vicky.

They are lovely. Well, they are massive. I like that they are plain.

They were the nicest ones that he let us try on.

-They are pouffier than I expected.

-We didn't remember them being as pouffy.

They're lovely. Let me take a picture. Smile. Lovely.

It's 12 o'clock.

With two hours to go, the boys are getting suited and booted at their swanky venue.

I feel really nervous for some reason.

I just like... It's all happening now.

-Done?

-Thanks, Vics.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

OK.

This is the moment we've been waiting for.

-< Is he crying?

-Yeah!

Now I'm really nervous.

Really, really, really nervous now.

Still none the wiser?

I still have no idea, it's so annoying!

-Oh, my God, is that where I'm getting married?

-This is where you're getting married.

Holy crap! Look how pretty it is!

That is beautiful.

-Better than some boring old church.

-Yeah.

Oh, hasn't he done well?

I'm so excited now.

I'm so excited.

Oh!

I don't want to look.

I don't want to, I'll cry.

MUSIC: "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice

# No love, no glory

# No hero in her sky

# Can't take my eyes off you... #

What I'd like you to do is shake hands with the man who will be your son-in-law very shortly.

-Give your daughter a kiss for luck.

-You all right?

-OK.

-Right. I, Tony.

-I, Tony.

-Do take thee, Philippa.

-Do take thee, Philippa.

To be my lawful wedded wife.

-To be my lawful wedded wife.

-I, Philippa.

-I, Philippa.

Do take thee, Tony.

-Do take thee, Tony.

-To be my lawful wedded husband.

To be my lawful wedded husband.

-You've chosen to make some additional personal promises to each other.

-Have we?

Didn't you know that?

I promise to love you, support you and be true to you always through the good times and bad.

I'll be there to wipe away your tears of sadness and your tears of joy.

Whatever life may bring us, I will always love you,

these promises I make to you today forever.

You are a truly special man

and I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

It's beautiful. It's sparkly.

It gives me great pleasure to say that you're now husband and wife together.

Would you like to seal the contract in the usual way?

And again.

Everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for anything else.

I'm so happy.

Before Tony met Pippa, Tony was just a wreck.

A drunken sex pest, I've got written down here.

LAUGHTER

The biggest thank you is to Pippa because you've given me my best friend back.

At this point there would usually be flowers for the mums,

but Pippa didn't actually like the dress I picked for her

so the additional budget got eaten up on alterations.

ALL: Ooh!

In all honesty, he has worked tirelessly for the last three weeks.

He wanted it to be your perfect day, Pippa. Not for him, but for you.

Right from the start, I said it will be a boys' night.

It's going to be more like a stag do than a wedding.

So we will wait and see.

I know what's coming, but I don't know if everybody else does yet.

I'm sure Pippa doesn't, cos I don't think she'd be walking round with a smile on her face.

-What's everyone laughing at?

-You're going to see in a minute.

-What is he doing?!

-Bucking bronco.

Look at him!

Oh, my...

-Are you going to have a go?

-Yeah, I want a go now!

From traditional bride to Rawhide.

Yee-ha!

I would have done an elegant, classy, to the point, no hair out of place -

look at me now - no hair out of place, succinct production.

And Tony has done all of that for the day.

For the evening he's got fun, everybody is smiling...

I think it's perfect.

He's done a better job than I possibly would have... Maybe.

Because my sister is such a Bridezilla about stuff,

I really did think that no one could do anything she would be happy with.

But I really have to take back everything I ever said about him.

I think he's done everything that she could have wanted.

That was a heart!

-Perfect day.

-Awesome.

-Perfect.

Perfect day and awesome. Awesomely perfect.

-Awesomely perfect.

-Happy with that.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd