Pippa and Tony Don't Tell the Bride


Pippa and Tony

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-Tony and Pippa are head over heels in love.

-He's a gorgeous person.

-They're desperate to get hitched.

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But Pippa works as a nurse and between them, they don't earn much money.

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-So we're giving them £12,000.

-I'm so excited!

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And a chance for Tony to prove himself to the woman he loves.

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But there's a catch - every single decision between now

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-and the wedding must be made by Tony alone.

-I'm dead!

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He and Pippa have agreed in the presence of a lawyer that she will

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-know absolutely nothing until the big day.

-I'm very worried.

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Three weeks apart will push their relationship to the limit.

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I want to hear him say everything's OK, trust me.

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So will his best men give him the best advice?

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It's for the wedding!

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It's not for her, though. A vodka luge is not for her.

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Will he survive a Dutch stag party?

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-And does he have a clue...

-Is that a 10?

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..how to find the perfect dress?

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SHE GROANS

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Can this man give his woman a day she will never forget?

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If he gets it wrong, then it's like, how well do you know me?

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Today, Pippa's moving out of the house she shares with Tony

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and back in with her parents for the next three weeks.

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This isn't their first stab at a wedding.

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They already had one organised, but things didn't go according to plan.

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We decided that we might have to postpone the wedding in January

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because Tony was out of work over Christmas for about three months.

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And we couldn't save for the wedding and pay our bills just on one wage.

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Pippa really had her heart set on it and there was just nothing really

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that I could do in order to try and make it happen still.

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So now, Pippa's taken control of their finances.

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I just wanted to pay £24, please.

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He has no idea what comes out of our account and what goes in and balancing the books.

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He just can't do it.

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Stop defacing the bill!

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I will say, you have this much and I have this much.

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And it's not the only area where she rules the roost.

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I'm in control of the relationship. Honey! Honey!

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I'm in control of the relationship!

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-Can't you just say...

-You're in charge of the cooking and the bins!

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Go on, honey, please scoop out the tray. Show me you can do it.

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That's disgusting!

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HE CHOKES

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It still smells!

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That's rubbish stuff to be in control of!

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Can't you give me something good?

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-Like what?

-I don't know.

-I'm in charge of all the good stuff!

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But now, Tony's in control of Pippa's big day.

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It's a point now where I see it as a challenge and just want to prove to everyone, look what I can do.

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For everyone to go, actually, you did a really good job.

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I can't believe you did manage to pull it off.

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You know, prove people wrong.

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Philippa knows exactly what she wants on her day. Exactly.

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She's planning mad. She makes lists for lists.

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And everything is clearly written down.

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The idea of Tony organising this wedding,

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without Pippa's input,

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is probably complete madness.

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And he's only got three weeks to pull it off!

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When I see you again, it will be the happiest day of your life. I promise.

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-I love you.

-I love you too.

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Fortunately, Dad Cabs are there to pick up the pieces!

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-Welcome home!

-Oh! This is my home!

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The next time they see each other will be at the altar.

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It's going to be a lot harder than what I thought it's going to be.

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Three weeks of not being able to speak to her - it's going to be tough.

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Best man Archie arrives to help Tony brainstorm.

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But he's a sales rep, not a wedding planner.

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Welcome to wedding HQ!

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-Don't worry about a coaster.

-So what's top of their to-do list?

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You can charter a boat in order to do the wedding breakfast.

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And then like, getting taken off the boat...

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-Onto speed boats?

-Yeah.

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You could even like, ski off or something like that!

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-THEY LAUGH

-Tony will absolutely love

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having a big, massive, rowdy party.

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And I would as well! But I can't see Pippa really enjoying that on her wedding night!

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Vodka luge!

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-What the hell is that?

-It's an ice sculpture, right, which

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has a bit at the bottom, like where you put your mouth.

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And you pour vodka down it, or Sambuca, or Cointreau.

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Something that's just going to put you in a smouldering mess!

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That's brilliant. I love it!

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I don't care whether you've organised

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a celebrity wedding or whatever. I don't think anyone could do it

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like what she would want it in her head.

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So I kind of am a bit worried about what he might do!

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Something else - parachuting in.

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Absolutely class! Brilliant.

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The wedding is like an entering of adulthood.

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And although you have other milestones, this will be the single most important day of my life.

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-Casino.

-Yes! Underline and exclamation mark. That would be brilliant.

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At the end of the day, the day's about the wedding, so it's not a party - it's a wedding!

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The important thing to me on the wedding day is to have the party at the end.

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I mean, I've been told by Pippa if I call it that, I won't be invited, but I'm planning it now, so...!

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It's day two.

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And Tony's feeling upbeat.

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I think we're really going to pull it off and put on a really, really good wedding for Pippa and me.

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A feeling which lasts about five minutes.

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Not open on Saturday.

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I'm calling about the possibility of booking a venue for a wedding.

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Hello?

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They're on the phone!

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Crap!

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Yeah. Is it possible, I mean, to come and arrange a viewing today?

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That's brilliant. All right, thank you very much. Bye-bye.

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Her first appointment, though, is in an hour. So we've got to get going now.

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If I pulled up, and there was... I don't know,

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a garage, or a barn or something like that - not impressed!

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So how about an old mill?

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At least it has a state-of-the-art laser show!

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It's not going to look quite as authentic because there's bright light out there.

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BLAST OF MUSIC

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-Come on, let's see!

-No, I'm leading!

-THEY LAUGH

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-Oh, Tony, put him down!

-I'm uncomfortable now, actually!

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Just pretend you're Pippa!

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THEY LAUGH Classic!

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Did you enjoy that?

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Get it on!

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-Thank you very much.

-Good luck, chaps.

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May the Force be with you! All the best.

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At this rate, they're going to need all the force they can get!

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I feel like we've wasted today so far.

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If we can't get any more viewings, what are we going to do?

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We'll have to have it in the back garden, or something!

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At least we'd have the wow factor - it would be like,

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wow, you're a bloody idiot!

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CHURCH ORGAN MUSIC

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Pippa's also got wedding venues on her mind.

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But of a more traditional kind.

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She decides to show her godmother her favourite church, and its unique attraction.

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-Longest aisle in Ipswich.

-Is it?

-Yes.

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-Shall we walk it? I think we should.

-Shall I be the bridesmaid?

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Yeah, go on!

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THEY HUM THE WEDDING MARCH

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I would put, like, you know, organza ribbon down here with some bows, make it pink.

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Some flowers, maybe.

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And then that's it, then you stop.

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-Is it here?

-Here.

-So he'd be standing there?

-He'd be standing there.

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One of the reasons why I like the length of the aisle is because

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everybody will have more time to look at us all in our freshest state!

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Look at me! Look at me, me, me!

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-And if they spend too much time looking at the bridesmaids, I'll cry!

-No, you'll be in front.

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-I'll be in front.

-You will be in front, everybody will look at you. Don't worry about that.

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I think that Tony knows the church is important to me.

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But I don't think he knows to the extent of why it's important, or how important it is.

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But the longest aisle in Ipswich isn't on Tony's wish list.

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The church, for me, is not something I believe in.

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I'm not religious. And if I was to make my vows in front of God and say, you know, vows to Pippa,

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you know, while I'm supposed to be making them in front of God as well, I would feel as though I'm lying.

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Hmmm. Maybe they should have discussed this beforehand!

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I'll make up for it in other ways. She'll still get her perfect day.

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Just apart from the church bit!

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I'm dead!

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Day four, and Tony's called in reinforcements.

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Archie's joined by joint best man, Phil, who is a student and part-time speedboat salesman.

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They meet at Christchurch Mansion - a stately home which is open to the public.

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-This is the wedding room.

-Uh-huh.

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-It holds 45 people.

-Is 45 a maximum?

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Yes. Yes, it is. The minstrels' gallery...

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That might be a squeeze for his 65 guests, but Tony's distracted by his ideas for some macho entertainment.

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We could go from here and then parachute into the evening reception do.

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Three James Bonds, then?!

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-Yeah.

-Right...

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Not too sure about the 007 thing.

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Erm, not coming down in a parachute, anyhow. Little bit dangerous.

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Things may go wrong.

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You've got a stag night - can't you just do a James Bond theme on the stag night?

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Bond themed stag night.

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We were thinking about paintballing, so...

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-Thinking about shooting.

-He's got to steer away from the boys' theme and think about his bride-to-be as well.

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Would the bride-to-be appreciate the next venue on the boys' list?

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Boreham House was once owned by Henry Ford and is Grade I listed.

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Oh, my God! This is amazing!

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This is absolutely fantastic. Wow.

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This is proper special.

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You're a bit blown away, really.

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-Yeah, I am.

-The owner's on hand to give them the tour.

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-Hi, you must be Tony.

-I'm Tony, yes.

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-Hi Tony, I'm Teresa.

-I'm the groom.

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-Lovely.

-Nice to meet you.

-OK, this is the ceremony room.

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Holds up to 120 people.

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I think it's a spectacular room.

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-Again - oh, my God!

-Yeah, it's fantastic.

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That view is fantastic as well, isn't it?

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OK. This is the dining room.

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This is where you would eat. Crystal on the table - we always use crystal.

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-So this is a really nice, intimate room.

-It's certainly intimate.

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But that doesn't put Tony off.

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You've got a separate room for the ceremony, sit-down meal, then...

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Then we go out to the evening, yes. We've got full use of everything.

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We actually like to call this our palace in the grounds.

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This is where we convert your evening into something spectacular.

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So your guests have seen the splendour of the house and then they come through to the pavilion.

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-So there you have it.

-This is brilliant. This is really nice.

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But how much is all this splendour going to cost?

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I think we need to go in with a bit of a game plan.

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And I'm pretty blown away by this place.

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I'm kind of a bit nervous for you as well, now!

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-Cos this could be the place.

-Yeah.

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I'm just like... how much is she gonna...?

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A wedding in April, a normal wedding, having what you've got,

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would probably come to about £14,000, in all honesty.

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What's the best you can do?

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Three-and a-half, maybe.

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Bearing in mind that it's three weeks away, and you're unlikely to get another wedding booking.

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Of course, we won't. You're right. Do you love it?

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Yes. Yeah, I think you can tell that I do.

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It's his favourite place we've seen so far.

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By far. And I know that Pippa would love it too.

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Right, whatever your budget is, tell me, and we'll do it for it.

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It's not about money, it's about your dream.

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Because to do a dream is something that's very, very special.

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I think you should say, thanks very much.

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I will! You're amazing. Thank you.

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It's going to be a dream. It's going to be fantastic - the best wedding you could ever have dreamed of.

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Result!

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Tony's managed to bag the mansion for a quarter of the normal price.

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So excited about it. I just can't wait now.

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I'm welling up, and it's...

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yeah, a really emotional day, but...

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I'll get a good night's sleep tonight, I think!

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Cos this is just a big weight off my mind.

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I've got the venue! I've got the venue.

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So, yeah, happy. Very happy.

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I'm getting married here! Yes!

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But what will Pippa think? Instead of looking at the longest aisle in Ipswich,

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she will now be going down the shortest aisle in Chelmsford.

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After getting a great deal on his venue, Tony's working out how much he can blow on the party.

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£8600. That's like over three grand for fun.

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And we've over-costed.

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Left out of the wedding planning, Pippa's only consolation is her box

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full of ideas for their original wedding.

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# Love is like a butterfly

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# As soft and gentle as a sigh... #

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That was my favourite. Cos our theme was butterflies.

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You have to clip the butterfly to open the invitation, which I thought was really cute.

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# Love is like a butterfly

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# A rare and gentle thing... #

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We decided that we'd get... well, I decided that we'd get real flowers!

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Tony didn't care!

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# Love is like a butterfly... #

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It's lots of fun, organising.

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I love organising! And putting things into order and writing lists and thinking, dreaming, really.

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Living dreams out in a box, really.

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The boys are indulging in some dreams of their own.

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I think maybe a call in to the RAF to see if they'll do a fly by.

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Shooting - clay-pigeon. A freak show!

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-That ruined my idea! A freak show.

-A bouncy assault course...

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I can't believe how much we've got to spend, still.

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With so much money left over, talk turns to the stag fund.

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-I'll leave it to you guys.

-What do you think - New York?

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-New York would be awesome.

-But then you could go Eastern Europe...

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-Sweden.

-Eastern Europe. Sweden?!

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Blonde, busty girls.

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So whose stag do is this?

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Back at home, Tony's having second thoughts about splashing so much cash on himself.

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I'm over-ruling New York cos I think it's a bit difficult to justify 900 quid

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for the three of us for a stag do, when we're only putting 150 quid in for the hens!

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You're killing my mojo here, Tony!

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No, I'm not justifying £900 out of the budget for our stag do.

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I really don't. Just put the stag do on the back burner for the time being.

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-Let's get the quotes on the things.

-Boo!

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Right, where's the list of the fun stuff...?

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You're killing me, actually! Absolutely killing me!

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-Let's just do it, quickly.

-We're after some fun.

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Yeah, I'm thinking I've got to spend the rest of my life with Pippa, and if I've blown 900 quid...

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I'm feeling a bit stressed at the moment.

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It's mostly because of

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talk of the stag do in New York.

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I actually this afternoon just wanted to ask

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Phil and Archie to leave, and just wanted to get on with it by myself.

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It's the end of week one.

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With the venue sorted, but nothing else booked, Tony's thoughts turn to the dress.

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His knowledge on the topic is... sketchy, to say the least.

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So, what are you actually looking for? Have you got any ideas?

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-A wedding dress!

-What sort of size is she?

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-I don't have a clue.

-No idea?

-No.

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She's not skinny, but she's not fat.

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12 or 14 maybe, that sort of size?

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I don't know.

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-I don't know either.

-This is going to be fun, isn't it?

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-Is that a 10?

-That is a 10.

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-Something like that is a 10. She's bigger than a 10.

-You can stop doing that now!

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Pippa's also trying on dresses, and she knows exactly what she wants.

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That is my dress! That's it.

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How beautiful is it, though?

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That's so pretty!

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Because I'd already seen one and chosen one, and put a deposit down on

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my dream dress, I think he's going to have a hard time

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finding my second dream dress.

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She can model the dream dress for her mum and bridesmaids, but she won't be wearing it on the day.

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This dress is everything you've wanted, isn't it?

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It's the dream dress.

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I just love it. It's the most...

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it's just really comfortable.

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It's the mix of elegant and simple, with a little bit of sparkle.

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It would be fantastic if Tony picked that dress for you, wouldn't it?

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It would be freaky, really freaky.

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Freaky? It would be a miracle!

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With thousands of wedding dresses to choose from, and no idea of what he wants, Tony's floundering.

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D'you want ivory, white, would you like a colour, gold-colour? Have you thought about that?

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I guess that's a no, then.

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This is slightly plainer. That's got a tie up detail on the back.

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Nice detail, just with a slight colouring on the beads and embroidery.

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Have a look round the other side as well.

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Will the answer be waiting for him there, then?

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That's a beautiful dress on.

0:19:080:19:10

Beautiful shape on.

0:19:100:19:13

All this choice is leaving Tony quite literally lost for words.

0:19:130:19:17

That's very fitted.

0:19:170:19:18

Some detail on the back of the train.

0:19:180:19:20

It's taffeta, this one. It's a soft fabric.

0:19:230:19:26

Don't confuse me with more terms!

0:19:260:19:28

Poor love - it's all just too much.

0:19:280:19:31

It'll be fine, honestly. She will love what you pick.

0:19:310:19:34

You wait and see.

0:19:340:19:36

I'm not so sure!

0:19:360:19:37

Seeing her dream dress again reminds Pippa why no other dress will do.

0:19:380:19:43

-Would you want, like, separates?

-No.

-Do you want it that sparkly?

-No.

0:19:460:19:51

Corset back.

0:19:530:19:54

I hate buttons.

0:19:540:19:55

What's that?

0:19:550:19:57

-The body is too short.

-You don't really like that one at all, then?

-No.

0:19:570:20:00

I don't do red, and I don't do pink.

0:20:020:20:04

And I don't do black.

0:20:040:20:06

I hate lace and I don't want to look like a cake, either.

0:20:060:20:09

We are going to see how Tony really knows you, aren't we?

0:20:110:20:15

Yes. But that's the problem.

0:20:150:20:16

Because if he gets it wrong, then it's like, "How well do you know me?"

0:20:160:20:21

It could go extremely wrong very, very quickly.

0:20:210:20:24

He could buy a colour and put her in, for example, a red dress.

0:20:240:20:32

-She'd be devastated.

-But I think Tony is sensible. I think he knows what...

0:20:320:20:37

what she likes.

0:20:370:20:40

Or does he?

0:20:400:20:42

I really like this one. There's not anything on it that I would change.

0:20:420:20:46

The question is, would Pippa like it?

0:20:460:20:49

No, you can't buy red. You can't do it.

0:20:490:20:52

Do you not reckon?

0:20:520:20:53

Pippa is just trying to get her head around any dress that isn't her dream dress.

0:20:530:21:01

I hate it with a capital H.

0:21:010:21:03

I always said, you know, as long as the dress fit and it was comfortable,

0:21:030:21:06

it really didn't matter what it look like.

0:21:060:21:09

Because he's chosen it for some reason.

0:21:090:21:11

However, now I'm in the position, I'm not sure I WOULD just wear it.

0:21:110:21:17

I am quite worried.

0:21:210:21:24

Because you've got such an idea of what you want.

0:21:240:21:26

Oh, see, this is the problem because I don't think another dress is going to be good enough.

0:21:260:21:31

I do think that you've got to put that dress behind you.

0:21:340:21:37

You know, you're going to upset yourself.

0:21:370:21:40

You're going to ruin a lovely day.

0:21:400:21:43

Because you don't know what you're going to be wearing until the day before.

0:21:430:21:49

-SOBBING

-Don't you cry.

0:21:540:21:57

I know it's stupid, because it is just a dress, but...

0:22:070:22:10

Don't cry.

0:22:130:22:14

Makes it real, doesn't it?

0:22:210:22:23

She's really crying.

0:22:230:22:25

I always said the dress would be the most important thing for her.

0:22:250:22:28

With Pippa's heart set on one dress and one dress alone, Tony's chances of making her happy seem doomed.

0:22:280:22:36

I've broken it. Take it back.

0:22:360:22:37

It's supposed to be like that.

0:22:430:22:45

Where does this bit go, then?

0:22:450:22:47

Not doing that again, get me out of here!

0:22:500:22:52

Quite a nice dress.

0:22:520:22:54

-It's like my duvet.

-How are you getting on?

0:22:540:22:58

Not very well.

0:22:580:23:00

-Do you want me to pick some out for you?

-Yeah, if you could.

-OK.

0:23:000:23:03

There's an A-line.

0:23:030:23:05

Mm-hm.

0:23:050:23:06

That's quite nice. Do you have anyone here that could try it on for us?

0:23:060:23:11

-Or on a mannequin, or...

-On a mannequin?

0:23:110:23:14

-Yeah, or on someone. Yeah.

-Yeah, can do that for you, if you want.

-Yes, please.

0:23:140:23:17

After going to three shops and considering just four dresses, Tony gives in and picks one.

0:23:170:23:25

Buttons and all.

0:23:250:23:26

I hate buttons.

0:23:260:23:28

-So, you don't want to go and see any more?

-Nope.

-Sold.

-Yep.

0:23:280:23:32

-Happy days.

-Done. Dress done.

0:23:320:23:35

With the dreaded dress out of the way, Tony gets down to business.

0:23:380:23:42

-After 10 days, he's chosen flowers...

-Thank you very much.

0:23:420:23:46

Hired some suits.

0:23:460:23:48

-And taken a gamble on the evening entertainment.

-Yeah. I'd like blackjack, roulette.

0:23:500:23:54

-How much would that be?

-But the cost is starting to mount up.

0:23:540:23:58

Today's the day he's buying wedding rings.

0:23:580:24:01

But after spending two-thirds of his 12 grand budget, he wants to make some savings.

0:24:010:24:05

-1,300? Are you having a laugh?

-Yeah, I'm not spending that much!

-You've not got a budget.

0:24:050:24:10

Sorry, if she didn't get a wedding ring, we needed a bucking bronco.

0:24:100:24:13

Across town, Pippa's dream ring is in a different price bracket altogether.

0:24:160:24:20

That is nice. How much is that one?

0:24:200:24:23

That one's 2,600.

0:24:230:24:26

Thereabouts.

0:24:260:24:28

Brilliant. That is very pretty.

0:24:280:24:31

Pippa wants a ring with bling, and Tony's got it.

0:24:310:24:36

For himself.

0:24:360:24:37

See, I like... I quite like it.

0:24:370:24:41

Oh, and Pippa's costs £120 less than his.

0:24:410:24:45

Will she be happy that your ring cost more?

0:24:450:24:47

Look, I've just planned this whole wedding, so I deserve the more expensive ring, I think.

0:24:470:24:53

-Come on, guys.

-See ya... see ya later.

0:24:530:24:56

Tony spent a lot of time choosing his ring and... I was surprised because I thought

0:24:590:25:04

be would spend most of the time talking about hers, but we spent all the time talking about Tony's ring.

0:25:040:25:09

And hers was an afterthought.

0:25:090:25:11

With just over a week to go to the wedding, Pippa's dad is taking Tony out for a quiet drink.

0:25:110:25:17

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

0:25:170:25:19

What Tony doesn't know is that his stag party starts tonight, and it's going to last for two whole days.

0:25:190:25:26

-Hello. Hello, stranger.

-Are you all right?

-You better drink up, because we've got to go.

0:25:260:25:30

Oh, my days!

0:25:300:25:33

-You coming too?

-I'm coming too.

0:25:350:25:37

-Great!

-You sneaky beggar!

0:25:370:25:40

Back at home, Pippa can only guess what he's up do.

0:25:400:25:43

I think Tony's on his stag do tonight.

0:25:430:25:46

Actually, I think Tony is having a stag weekend.

0:25:480:25:51

Because my dad wasn't here last night when I got home.

0:25:510:25:55

And he's still not here now.

0:25:550:25:58

Where are they?

0:26:000:26:03

# A mouse lived in a windmill in old Amsterdam

0:26:030:26:07

# A windmill with a mouse in and he wasn't browsing... #

0:26:070:26:10

Hey, man!

0:26:150:26:17

I'm sure they're doing something active.

0:26:170:26:19

Rather than just drinking.

0:26:210:26:23

Paintballing. Go-karting.

0:26:270:26:30

That is awful.

0:26:320:26:33

As long as someone's being sensible and looking after him.

0:26:330:26:37

-Like my dad.

-Abraham...

0:26:380:26:41

It's my stag do.

0:26:430:26:45

And I'm in Amsterdam. So, I've got to get absolutely trashed.

0:26:450:26:49

That's... they're the rules.

0:26:490:26:52

I think my dad will look after him.

0:26:520:26:54

And make sure that the boys aren't doing stupid things.

0:26:540:26:58

Shall we get him the kinky tart?

0:26:580:27:01

This paired with that, look at that.

0:27:010:27:02

I'll go with that.

0:27:020:27:04

String vest?

0:27:110:27:12

Who's the daddy?

0:27:180:27:20

This specimen is marrying my daughter next Friday.

0:27:200:27:25

I've gone from proud to sick.

0:27:250:27:27

I also think, you know, I will still be at the forefront of his mind.

0:27:300:27:35

I think it's time to call it a night. Let's get some sleep.

0:27:500:27:53

Back in Ipswich, Pippa meets sister Vicky for a drink.

0:27:570:28:01

Although she's not allowed to make any decisions herself,

0:28:010:28:04

there's nothing to stop her dropping a few hints.

0:28:040:28:07

Bridesmaid's dress. I really would like you to have a very plain, simple dress.

0:28:070:28:13

With preferably no sparkle.

0:28:130:28:15

And straps.

0:28:150:28:17

-Wow.

-And I would like you to remember what I want when you go looking for dresses.

0:28:180:28:23

-Rather than what you want.

-Right. It'll be a case of what looks best.

0:28:230:28:26

-What I'm asking you is, think of my feelings when you're picking it.

-I won't get something you'd hate.

0:28:260:28:31

It doesn't matter, because Tony gets the final say and he won't let you.

0:28:310:28:34

Well, it's a silly conversation, then. Isn't it?

0:28:340:28:36

You can't exactly refuse to wear it, because then you're refusing to be a bridesmaid.

0:28:380:28:42

-And you're not going to do that to me, I know you're not.

-You're so aggressive.

0:28:420:28:48

Because I know you're going to go out and pick a really sparkly big strapless dress.

0:28:480:28:52

-I'm not...

-That's going to...

-..intentionally going to pick anything.

0:28:520:28:56

If it was your wedding, I'd do as I was told.

0:28:560:28:58

You are so aggressive. You're like the bride from hell.

0:29:000:29:03

-Why am I?

-Because you are.

0:29:030:29:05

Vicky, just pick a dress that's plain, with straps. Simple as that.

0:29:070:29:11

That's cleared that up, then.

0:29:110:29:14

But it's not going to be easy for Tony to please three bridesmaids and stick to his colour scheme,

0:29:140:29:20

inspired by the wedding dress he wasn't brave enough to buy.

0:29:200:29:23

The colour scheme is burgundy.

0:29:230:29:26

So, go find some burgundy dresses.

0:29:260:29:29

Burgundy is like red, yeah?

0:29:310:29:33

It's burgundy.

0:29:330:29:35

-Right, burgundy.

-OK.

-Are you going to stand there, or are you going to pick some dresses?

0:29:350:29:40

I'm scouring, that's all.

0:29:400:29:41

-Scouring or scowling?

-Scowling.

0:29:410:29:45

Me and the bridesmaids have a pact together that we've arranged beforehand, that if one of us

0:29:450:29:50

says we don't like it, none of us will wear it.

0:29:500:29:52

-So, he's taking on three of us, basically.

-Good luck to him, then.

0:29:520:29:56

-That's a horrible dress, but that colour?

-Why is it horrible?

-It's shiny. You don't want shiny.

0:29:560:30:01

Do you hate that, too? Good. Thank you.

0:30:010:30:03

But it is plain and strappy.

0:30:030:30:06

Just try it on, you might find, you never know, you might go, "Well, actually, this is really nice".

0:30:060:30:10

I will try on the dress.

0:30:100:30:12

If it just gets us moving.

0:30:120:30:14

No!

0:30:160:30:18

It's horrible.

0:30:180:30:19

-You hate it too, don't you?

-I actually think it looks all right.

0:30:220:30:27

Look.

0:30:270:30:28

-That's on the inside.

-That's organza!

0:30:280:30:31

Suddenly, Tony is a fashion expert.

0:30:310:30:34

-Do you hate it too?

-I wouldn't expect you to wear a dress that you hated.

0:30:340:30:38

So, that's fine.

0:30:380:30:40

We really need to speed up the dress trying on, though.

0:30:400:30:42

Because, we've been here, like, nearly half an hour. And that's one dress.

0:30:420:30:46

I don't think you're going to find anything burgundy in April.

0:30:460:30:49

-Trust me, we'll get burgundy.

-Not in the fashion shops, no.

0:30:490:30:52

We'll get burgundy. We'll get burgundy.

0:30:520:30:54

For the sake of an easy life, Tony finally opts to get the

0:30:540:30:58

dresses specially made in a style which suits all three bridesmaids.

0:30:580:31:03

So, then, girls.

0:31:050:31:08

Which is your favourite, Roz?

0:31:080:31:11

-This one's my favourite.

-Vicky?

0:31:110:31:13

Shannon? So, you're happy with that one, then?

0:31:130:31:16

I think so, yeah.

0:31:160:31:17

But they are strapless. What will Pippa say?

0:31:170:31:20

-Are you happy, though?

-I'm happy, I like it.

0:31:200:31:23

And at £300, they're not cheap.

0:31:230:31:26

That's 11 grand of his budget, gone.

0:31:260:31:30

It's the evening of Pippa's mystery hen night.

0:31:300:31:33

Seriously, where are we going?

0:31:330:31:36

Tony has organised for us all to go to the place where you had your first date.

0:31:360:31:43

It's not a weekend in Amsterdam, though, is it?

0:31:430:31:46

Still, it's a chance for Pippa to stop worrying and let her hair down.

0:31:460:31:49

Do you want to be a good girl or a bad girl?

0:31:490:31:54

Thank you. Look at me.

0:31:560:31:59

I'm dressed up in a pink flashy band, L plates and a veil with my name on it and a tiara.

0:31:590:32:06

I'm a princess.

0:32:060:32:07

# She's getting married in the morning... #

0:32:070:32:10

My sister, historically, cannot handle her alcohol.

0:32:100:32:14

And I am ready to be a bride.

0:32:260:32:28

But it's not long before it turns messy.

0:32:280:32:30

And it's left to big sis to get her home.

0:32:300:32:33

It's the morning after.

0:32:370:32:40

Well, I couldn't look any rougher.

0:32:400:32:43

Oh, my God. Now, I am actually getting married.

0:32:430:32:46

I'm really looking forward to it now. I can't stop smiling.

0:32:460:32:49

Let's do it already.

0:32:490:32:51

But while Pippa can lie in bed, Tony only has four days left.

0:32:510:32:57

Invitations have been sent and he's found a photographer.

0:32:570:33:01

-See you Friday.

-See you Friday. Good luck.

-Thanks.

0:33:010:33:03

But he still hasn't organised any transport.

0:33:030:33:08

He's only got 900 quid left and is hoping to get two limos.

0:33:080:33:12

It's a beast, isn't it?

0:33:120:33:14

Very impressive.

0:33:160:33:19

-Do you get any drinks in this, as well?

-Yeah, we put complimentary bubbly in

0:33:190:33:23

for you as well, on the wedding.

0:33:230:33:25

I really like it.

0:33:250:33:26

We'll take the Hummer and the Phantom.

0:33:260:33:30

Could you do 850 for them both?

0:33:300:33:31

875, yeah?

0:33:310:33:34

-Go on then.

-It is a good deal. That's a good deal.

-Yeah.

0:33:360:33:39

But that's a net price.

0:33:390:33:41

You are looking at 875 plus VAT.

0:33:410:33:45

BLEEP!

0:33:450:33:47

-Basically.

-The blood of the country, my man, isn't it?

-What's the total?

0:33:470:33:51

£1,028.12.

0:33:530:33:55

Crap. I don't think we've got £1,000 for it. Gutted.

0:33:550:33:59

I don't know what to say.

0:33:590:34:02

We'll still take the Phantom though, definitely.

0:34:020:34:04

-Yeah, that's fine.

-Thanks very much.

0:34:040:34:07

Shaken by the discovery that he needs to pay VAT, Tony decides to visit Teresa at Boreham House.

0:34:070:34:13

She had quoted him £3,200.

0:34:130:34:16

But did that include VAT?

0:34:160:34:19

It is plus VAT.

0:34:190:34:21

In the wedding industry generally it is plus, if you're VAT registered, it's plus VAT.

0:34:210:34:26

Just generally, on everything.

0:34:260:34:30

It's bad, but...

0:34:300:34:32

It depends. You just have to check if everyone has registered for VAT, whether they are doing plus VAT.

0:34:320:34:37

Photographer, videographer, if they've all then got plus VAT on them.

0:34:370:34:40

You're... you're... normally it's...

0:34:400:34:43

Yeah, you need to check. Yep.

0:34:430:34:45

Once he factors in nearly £600 worth of VAT on the venue, he's £300 over budget.

0:34:460:34:52

But this could be just the tip of the iceberg.

0:34:520:34:55

If everything's excluding VAT, then I'm probably about three grand over budget.

0:34:550:34:58

Back at home, the enormity of his financial crisis is starting to sink in.

0:34:580:35:04

Tomorrow I'm going to have to call all of the...

0:35:040:35:08

people that I've booked, to see if their prices were inclusive of VAT or not, what they quoted to me.

0:35:080:35:12

If the people haven't included VAT in the prices and I have to cancel stuff,

0:35:120:35:16

it's gone from being a great wedding to

0:35:160:35:20

an average wedding, which is what I'd never wanted.

0:35:200:35:23

I wanted it to be something special.

0:35:230:35:26

I've just had enough.

0:35:260:35:28

I'm just calling... the 898.95 that you quoted us, does that include VAT?

0:35:320:35:40

Can you ask her if the £100 per dress included VAT?

0:35:400:35:45

We were quoted £470 for the suits. I'm just seeing if that was inclusive of VAT?

0:35:450:35:50

# You won't admit you love me... #

0:35:500:35:53

Blissfully unaware of Tony's troubles,

0:35:530:35:55

Pippa's doing some window shopping for table decorations.

0:35:550:35:58

# Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. #

0:35:580:36:00

Something like that.

0:36:000:36:02

That's quite pretty, with the floating thing in the water.

0:36:020:36:07

But I would prefer something more of a statement.

0:36:070:36:10

More extravagant.

0:36:100:36:13

A bit more grand.

0:36:130:36:15

So, you know, three pink tip calla lilies in a tall vase

0:36:150:36:19

with some pretty sand, some mirrors, the candles.

0:36:190:36:24

Mostly, I want my cake and eat it. I want it all in one thing.

0:36:240:36:28

But to get his budget under control, Tony has got to make some ruthless cuts.

0:36:280:36:33

Looks like we might be sacking off the table guff.

0:36:330:36:35

What about the fish bowls with the... Are you going to bother?

0:36:350:36:40

No. There's no point.

0:36:400:36:43

Oh, look.

0:36:430:36:44

Now, that is lovely.

0:36:460:36:49

That is very pretty and it's a statement.

0:36:520:36:56

People will walk in and there's no way you're not going to see it.

0:36:560:37:00

Shame it's not the statement Tony's going to make.

0:37:000:37:02

I want that, now.

0:37:020:37:04

Let's just do a quick tot-up.

0:37:060:37:08

We are still under budget.

0:37:100:37:12

Thank feck for that. But that means no vodka luge or bucking bronco.

0:37:120:37:16

So, they are...

0:37:160:37:18

But Phil thinks there's no reason why Tony can't shell out for some of the extras himself.

0:37:180:37:24

OK. You phone up Pippa and ask her. See what her reaction is.

0:37:240:37:27

Just say, Tony wants to put £100 of our money into it

0:37:270:37:31

because it is OUR money, it's not just mine.

0:37:310:37:34

And if she went out and bought something for £100

0:37:340:37:37

-without talking to me first, I would be

-BLEEP

-pissed off.

0:37:370:37:41

But it's for the wedding.

0:37:410:37:43

It's not for her, though. A vodka luge is not for her.

0:37:430:37:46

-Not talking to me?

-No. I'm pissed off.

0:37:510:37:53

After a stressful few days, Tony finally has a moment to reflect.

0:38:000:38:05

I'm trying...

0:38:050:38:08

to write...

0:38:080:38:11

my own vows.

0:38:110:38:12

I think it would mean a lot to her to know that I've gone through the effort,

0:38:150:38:20

to sit down and try and write my own vows to her,

0:38:200:38:24

which I wouldn't have been able to do if we'd had the church wedding.

0:38:240:38:28

I think that she will be upset

0:38:280:38:31

that she's not got the church wedding that she always dreamed of.

0:38:310:38:35

But with the vows, it gives me a great opportunity

0:38:350:38:38

to make up for the fact that we've not got the church.

0:38:380:38:42

Thinking about the vows has made him realise how much he misses her.

0:38:420:38:46

It's really lonely, being in the house by myself.

0:38:460:38:48

It's not... I hate it.

0:38:480:38:50

It just...

0:38:500:38:52

cements the fact

0:38:520:38:54

that I do want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her

0:38:540:38:58

because it's horrible without her.

0:38:580:39:00

It really is. I don't like it.

0:39:000:39:02

It's the day before the wedding,

0:39:110:39:13

which can mean only one thing.

0:39:130:39:16

Hello, Pippa has come to try her wedding dress on today.

0:39:160:39:19

She finally gets to see Tony's idea of a dream dress.

0:39:190:39:22

The bodies are really short and I have...

0:39:220:39:24

-They're not all really short.

-Find one with a long body.

-That one?

0:39:240:39:28

That's not got a long body.

0:39:280:39:29

-Nope.

-That one?

0:39:290:39:32

That's not got a body at all.

0:39:320:39:33

I'm seeing lots of dresses that don't have buttons on.

0:39:330:39:36

So I'm quite happy about that.

0:39:360:39:38

I feel sick. Can we do this?

0:39:380:39:40

Oh! Look at the train on it.

0:39:400:39:44

Is that the dress? Wow!

0:39:440:39:49

Do you like it?

0:39:490:39:51

Um...

0:39:510:39:53

Why has it got brown on it?

0:39:530:39:55

It might be something to do with the colour scheme.

0:39:550:39:58

Oh, my God, look at all the buttons!

0:39:580:40:00

I think that's really pretty. It's going to look gorgeous.

0:40:000:40:03

I know you don't like buttons, but you're not going to see them.

0:40:030:40:06

But it's not like there's just ten, it goes down to the bottom.

0:40:060:40:09

-They're dress buttons.

-Mum, I'll just put it on, OK?

0:40:090:40:12

It's a lovely dress.

0:40:120:40:14

We'll see.

0:40:140:40:16

She actually hates it, you can tell.

0:40:200:40:22

Wow! I think that's gorgeous.

0:40:310:40:33

-So do I.

-I think that is stunning.

0:40:330:40:36

What do you think?

0:40:360:40:39

-I think my hips look huge.

-No, it doesn't.

0:40:390:40:41

Not at all. You've got no waist at all.

0:40:410:40:44

You can't even see your hips.

0:40:440:40:46

Is that your veil?

0:40:500:40:52

Lovely, isn't it?

0:40:520:40:54

It's got a sparkle in that.

0:40:540:40:56

-What don't you like?

-My hips.

0:41:130:41:16

You can't tell.

0:41:160:41:18

You keep saying that, but I can see them.

0:41:180:41:20

I'm not stupid.

0:41:200:41:22

What do you want to do?

0:41:270:41:29

Take the colour off it for starters.

0:41:290:41:32

You don't like the colour on it.

0:41:320:41:34

The buttons go right down to the floor.

0:41:340:41:37

And my hips look massive.

0:41:370:41:40

I think you look lovely in it.

0:41:400:41:42

Do you want me to ring Tony and say that you don't want to wear the dress?

0:41:420:41:47

Tell him I don't like it.

0:41:470:41:49

It's your choice. I can ring Tony.

0:41:510:41:53

Why are we having a discussion? Ring him.

0:41:530:41:55

It sounds really spoilt, Philippa.

0:41:590:42:01

She doesn't.

0:42:010:42:03

-I thought you came to support me.

-You don't like the dress?

0:42:050:42:08

-Do I like it? Do I look like I like it?

-OK.

0:42:080:42:11

So you telling me how small my waist is is not going to make me like it any more.

0:42:110:42:15

-If I have to wear it, I have to wear it.

-I'll ring him.

0:42:160:42:19

I think you look stunning.

0:42:230:42:25

Mum, you'd say that if I had a bin bag on my head.

0:42:250:42:29

Do I look comfortable in it?

0:42:290:42:31

Hello.

0:42:330:42:35

-Hiya, it's Vicky.

-Hiya.

0:42:350:42:38

She don't like the dress, Tone.

0:42:380:42:39

-So she's not going to wear it or...

-I don't think she's going to wear it.

0:42:390:42:44

-She thinks it makes her hips look really big.

-Right.

0:42:440:42:48

Can the lady in the shop not swap it for something else?

0:42:480:42:51

-I don't think she can because it's made to measure, isn't it?

-Oh, right.

0:42:510:42:55

What do we do?

0:42:550:42:57

-That's

-BLEEP

-ridiculous.

0:42:590:43:02

Tony has failed in his most important task.

0:43:020:43:06

Can Pippa's sister salvage the situation?

0:43:060:43:10

Where do we get a dress the day before the wedding?

0:43:100:43:13

-What size is it?

-It would fit.

0:43:150:43:18

Take it down, show her.

0:43:180:43:20

What about this one?

0:43:220:43:24

That looks so much better.

0:43:240:43:27

Go away. Please.

0:43:270:43:28

But it's not the dress she'd always dreamed of getting married in.

0:43:310:43:35

That is better.

0:43:370:43:38

See, now my hips don't look like Manhattan.

0:43:400:43:44

-Well done.

-Thank you very much.

0:43:440:43:47

I don't even like lace, but that is pretty.

0:43:470:43:49

It's pretty with that on it.

0:43:490:43:52

-It is pretty. It's really cute.

-I think it's lovely with that little thing on.

-Yeah.

0:43:520:43:57

It's quite Sound Of Music wedding dress, don't you think?

0:43:570:44:01

Astonishingly, the kind shop owner agrees to take back the first dress.

0:44:060:44:11

Lucky Tony will only have to pay the difference.

0:44:110:44:13

-The balance is £71.50.

-OK.

0:44:130:44:18

-£71.50.

-Yeah.

0:44:180:44:20

What now?

0:44:230:44:25

Yeah, we've got some money left in the budget.

0:44:250:44:28

-OK, so she can have it?

-Yeah.

0:44:280:44:32

-OK, Vics.

-OK, bye.

0:44:320:44:34

-By pinching his pennies, Tony has allowed Pippa to get a dress she loves.

-Sorted.

0:44:340:44:39

The vodka luge now seems like a small sacrifice.

0:44:390:44:43

Dress sorted, Tony still has a long "to do" list to go through.

0:44:490:44:55

How much have we got left to do?

0:44:550:44:57

We've got to get suits, dresses, rings, favours.

0:44:570:45:00

We've got to make the favours and we've not got much time. Thank you.

0:45:000:45:04

For the lady. My bit of bling as well. Perfect.

0:45:180:45:21

Chocolate footballs or something for favours.

0:45:260:45:27

Can I also have all of those sugared almonds?

0:45:270:45:33

-Thanks very much for your help. Happy with that?

-I'm happy.

0:45:330:45:36

You're so weird. Let's go.

0:45:390:45:41

It's the evening before the wedding.

0:45:410:45:44

I assume he's probably having a quiet drink with the boys.

0:45:440:45:48

Non-alcoholic, hopefully, cos he's crap with a hangover.

0:45:480:45:52

I told him that if he drank

0:45:520:45:55

and was hungover for our wedding day we would get it annulled.

0:45:550:45:58

That will make him think twice... Won't it?

0:45:580:46:01

Go on, Tony. Go on, son.

0:46:180:46:21

Just one or two quiet beverages...

0:46:210:46:25

Something like that.

0:46:250:46:26

19 shots later, he finally calls it a night.

0:46:370:46:41

What a wally!

0:46:410:46:43

The big day is finally here,

0:46:450:46:48

but someone's got a sore head...

0:46:480:46:51

..and seems to be wearing a nightie.

0:46:560:46:59

What the hell is a fat man dress?

0:46:590:47:01

How you feeling?

0:47:040:47:05

Awful.

0:47:050:47:07

-Absolutely awful.

-What's happening today?

0:47:070:47:10

Yeah, my marriage. No, I'm not ready for today.

0:47:100:47:13

I'd rather just stay in bed.

0:47:130:47:15

Pippa, meanwhile, been awake since 6am.

0:47:200:47:23

I'm so excited I might burst!

0:47:230:47:26

I want to get my dress already.

0:47:290:47:32

Stop, stop.

0:47:370:47:38

It's 10.30 and with the wedding in just over three hours,

0:47:390:47:43

Tony gets a rude awakening from his future father-in-law.

0:47:430:47:46

Is it right to keep the dad on the steps?

0:47:460:47:50

You're not still in bed.

0:47:500:47:52

-Your bride is looking gorgeous already.

-Is she?

0:47:520:47:55

If I'd known you'd been drinking, I'd have brought a stick round and smacked you.

0:47:550:47:59

-I'll get in the shower.

-Good.

0:47:590:48:01

I'm feeling really excited.

0:48:070:48:09

I didn't expect to be doing his ironing, but never mind.

0:48:090:48:12

Really looking forward to the rest of the day.

0:48:120:48:14

Before the hustle and bustle starts today,

0:48:140:48:16

I just wanted to say, genuinely, welcome to our family.

0:48:160:48:20

Thanks very much.

0:48:200:48:22

Have a good time today.

0:48:220:48:24

Cheers, Pops.

0:48:240:48:25

So are the bridesmaids' dresses simple enough to meet with the bride's approval?

0:48:250:48:29

Oh, Vicky.

0:48:290:48:31

They are lovely. Well, they are massive. I like that they are plain.

0:48:310:48:36

They were the nicest ones that he let us try on.

0:48:360:48:39

-They are pouffier than I expected.

-We didn't remember them being as pouffy.

0:48:390:48:43

They're lovely. Let me take a picture. Smile. Lovely.

0:48:430:48:50

It's 12 o'clock.

0:48:500:48:52

With two hours to go, the boys are getting suited and booted at their swanky venue.

0:48:520:48:56

I feel really nervous for some reason.

0:48:590:49:01

I just like... It's all happening now.

0:49:010:49:03

-Done?

-Thanks, Vics.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

0:49:030:49:07

OK.

0:49:070:49:08

This is the moment we've been waiting for.

0:49:100:49:12

-< Is he crying?

-Yeah!

0:49:300:49:32

Now I'm really nervous.

0:49:440:49:46

Really, really, really nervous now.

0:49:460:49:49

Still none the wiser?

0:49:560:49:57

I still have no idea, it's so annoying!

0:49:570:50:01

-Oh, my God, is that where I'm getting married?

-This is where you're getting married.

0:50:030:50:07

Holy crap! Look how pretty it is!

0:50:070:50:11

That is beautiful.

0:50:130:50:15

-Better than some boring old church.

-Yeah.

0:50:170:50:20

Oh, hasn't he done well?

0:50:230:50:25

I'm so excited now.

0:50:270:50:29

I'm so excited.

0:50:440:50:46

Oh!

0:50:560:50:58

I don't want to look.

0:51:000:51:02

I don't want to, I'll cry.

0:51:020:51:04

MUSIC: "The Blower's Daughter" by Damien Rice

0:51:040:51:08

# No love, no glory

0:51:090:51:14

# No hero in her sky

0:51:160:51:23

# Can't take my eyes off you... #

0:51:250:51:28

What I'd like you to do is shake hands with the man who will be your son-in-law very shortly.

0:51:280:51:32

-Give your daughter a kiss for luck.

-You all right?

-OK.

0:51:320:51:40

-Right. I, Tony.

-I, Tony.

0:51:420:51:45

-Do take thee, Philippa.

-Do take thee, Philippa.

0:51:450:51:48

To be my lawful wedded wife.

0:51:480:51:52

-To be my lawful wedded wife.

-I, Philippa.

-I, Philippa.

0:51:520:51:55

Do take thee, Tony.

0:51:550:51:56

-Do take thee, Tony.

-To be my lawful wedded husband.

0:51:560:52:00

To be my lawful wedded husband.

0:52:000:52:01

-You've chosen to make some additional personal promises to each other.

-Have we?

0:52:010:52:06

Didn't you know that?

0:52:060:52:08

I promise to love you, support you and be true to you always through the good times and bad.

0:52:080:52:13

I'll be there to wipe away your tears of sadness and your tears of joy.

0:52:130:52:17

Whatever life may bring us, I will always love you,

0:52:170:52:20

these promises I make to you today forever.

0:52:200:52:21

You are a truly special man

0:52:210:52:23

and I feel like the luckiest woman alive.

0:52:230:52:26

It's beautiful. It's sparkly.

0:52:350:52:38

It gives me great pleasure to say that you're now husband and wife together.

0:52:380:52:44

Would you like to seal the contract in the usual way?

0:52:440:52:47

And again.

0:52:550:52:57

Everything was perfect. I couldn't have asked for anything else.

0:53:030:53:06

I'm so happy.

0:53:080:53:10

Before Tony met Pippa, Tony was just a wreck.

0:53:240:53:28

A drunken sex pest, I've got written down here.

0:53:280:53:31

LAUGHTER

0:53:310:53:33

The biggest thank you is to Pippa because you've given me my best friend back.

0:53:330:53:39

At this point there would usually be flowers for the mums,

0:53:390:53:43

but Pippa didn't actually like the dress I picked for her

0:53:430:53:47

so the additional budget got eaten up on alterations.

0:53:470:53:51

ALL: Ooh!

0:53:510:53:53

In all honesty, he has worked tirelessly for the last three weeks.

0:53:560:54:00

He wanted it to be your perfect day, Pippa. Not for him, but for you.

0:54:000:54:05

Right from the start, I said it will be a boys' night.

0:54:080:54:12

It's going to be more like a stag do than a wedding.

0:54:120:54:15

So we will wait and see.

0:54:150:54:17

I know what's coming, but I don't know if everybody else does yet.

0:54:170:54:21

I'm sure Pippa doesn't, cos I don't think she'd be walking round with a smile on her face.

0:54:210:54:25

-What's everyone laughing at?

-You're going to see in a minute.

0:54:250:54:31

-What is he doing?!

-Bucking bronco.

0:54:360:54:38

Look at him!

0:54:380:54:40

Oh, my...

0:54:430:54:46

-Are you going to have a go?

-Yeah, I want a go now!

0:54:460:54:49

From traditional bride to Rawhide.

0:54:490:54:52

Yee-ha!

0:54:520:54:54

I would have done an elegant, classy, to the point, no hair out of place -

0:54:580:55:03

look at me now - no hair out of place, succinct production.

0:55:030:55:10

And Tony has done all of that for the day.

0:55:100:55:14

For the evening he's got fun, everybody is smiling...

0:55:140:55:19

I think it's perfect.

0:55:190:55:22

He's done a better job than I possibly would have... Maybe.

0:55:220:55:25

Because my sister is such a Bridezilla about stuff,

0:55:480:55:52

I really did think that no one could do anything she would be happy with.

0:55:520:55:57

But I really have to take back everything I ever said about him.

0:55:570:56:02

I think he's done everything that she could have wanted.

0:56:020:56:04

That was a heart!

0:56:100:56:12

-Perfect day.

-Awesome.

-Perfect.

0:56:150:56:18

Perfect day and awesome. Awesomely perfect.

0:56:180:56:20

-Awesomely perfect.

-Happy with that.

0:56:200:56:22

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0:56:450:56:51

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