Stephen and Shelley Don't Tell the Bride

Stephen and Shelley are in love, desperate to take the plunge.

There'll never be anyone like Stephen. He's definitely the one.

But they don't have the funds.

There's no way I could pay for the wedding that Shelley deserves.

We're giving them £12,000 towards their big day, but there's a catch.

Every decision until the wedding must be made by Stephen, alone.

I would like to say I trusted Stephen 100%, but I don't!

They have agreed in the presence of a lawyer that the bride will know nothing before the wedding.

-Easy!

-SHELLEY LAUGHS

Three weeks apart will push their relationship to the limit.

Can Stephen get the colour scheme right?

Shelley hates burgundy!

Will he survive his stag night?

Pushed me down the stairs. What a dick!

And will he invite anyone?

It's fine planning a wedding but if nobody's there, what's the point?

Can this man give his bride her perfect day?

If she doesn't like that dress, I'm marrying the wrong person.

'Stephen and Shelley live together in Newcastle, but Shelley's moving in with her parents,

'leaving Stephen to plan her wedding.

'They've been together five years, meeting on a university night out.'

-I thought you were a bit of a lad.

-For me it must have been love quick.

I told you I love you quite fast, which you were a bit...shocked by!

'Three years later, Stephen got down on one knee.'

I was in shock. I didn't think he would do it there and then. My head probably went a bit fuzzy.

'But not so fuzzy that she couldn't pick her own bit of bling.'

I wouldn't have picked the ring.

If Stephen had picked the ring, I would have learned to have loved it!

'Will she learn to love a wedding that's in Stephen's control?'

I hope that it's tears of joy I see, not tears of anger,

that I've mucked things up for her big day.

-I love you.

-I love you too, sweetheart.

'He'll know soon enough. Meanwhile, Shelley moves out for three weeks.'

-I love you.

-VOICE BREAKING: I love you. Bye-bye.

'The biggest day of her life is now in his hands.'

Give us a kiss.

# This is for lovers

# Running away... #

I'll miss him loads.

I just love him to bits.

'Keen to get started, our groom calls in reinforcements

in the shape of best man Mark and mate Cosh.'

I would be flapping! I'd throw myself out that window!

-It's only a four-foot drop!

-Aye.

Right, we've got a budget of 16 and a half...

'Electrical engineer Stephen will be adding £4,500 of his own savings

'to the 12-grand budget.

'With so much cash to splash, the lads establish priorities.'

-Stag do first. Church and that...

-Everything else falls in after that.

-It's all for Shelley.

-Bless.

-I reap the benefits after, if I get it right.

-Aye, three weeks!

I get me leg over on me wedding night! If I get it wrong, I don't.

'Hm. High stakes indeed, for an amorous groom.

'Meanwhile, community nurse Shelley isn't feeling quite so up.'

Quite weird.

I don't like the feeling at all, actually.

How much do you want to pay for the dress?

-You're talking two grand.

-She'll dye it black if I die first!

We're getting it signed that, if I die first,

she's buried alive with us! That's how we're gonna have it.

-She's gonna dye her dress black?

-You're meant to dye your wedding dress.

Shut up! Since when do you dye your wedding...? You're paying two grand!

Not on your wedding day! On me funeral!

Then make sure it's 100% cotton or it won't dye.

'Hang on! Isn't Stephen meant to be planning a wedding not a funeral?

'It's day one. Time to find a reception venue.

'Stephen's recovering from a dislocated knee, so Mark drives.

'Walworth Castle looked great on the internet, so he booked it.

'Will it live up to expectations?'

SATNAV: You have reached your destination.

-There's a castle here.

-Where?

-You can't miss a castle!

'The satnav is convinced there's a castle here somewhere.'

Still can't see a castle!

At what point to we turn round and decide that we're lost?

We're men and we're stubborn!

-Walworth Castle.

-Here we go.

'Finally, they reach their destination.

'Maybe it's the rain, but it doesn't look as good as Stephen remembers.'

I would say, if I had enough time

and loads of other venues to look at, I'd probably turn away.

It hasn't got the fact of driving up and thinking, "Wow!"

It's more... "It's all right."

Well, I've drove for 45 minutes so make sure you look inside!

I can't get back into the car!

It doesn't say, "Don't touch."

'There's no way Stephen's tying the knot here

but the boys are too polite not to take the tour.'

This layout, with the top table and an extra couple of tables.

-'Are you listening, Stephen?'

-Very good.

Got an actual stock!

What do you think?

Well, I think it's just what I thought the first time.

It's not what I want.

'He's hedged his bets and provisionally booked another castle,

but only viewed it online.'

I'm down to one venue.

-LAUGHS

-But still smiling!

'Let's hope he's still smiling in two days, when he sees it.'

I'm making a mess of this.

'While Stephen's put all his eggs in one basket,

'Shelley can only wonder what he's up to.

'At least she has her horse to keep her busy.

'She's had Millie since she was ten. It's her longest relationship.

'The strain of being without her man is starting to show.'

She's the only normal thing.

Everything else has - apart from work - changed.

Everyone asks, "How's he getting on?" I'm like, "I don't know."

It's nice to get up here and forget about it for a little while.

Definitely. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have her!

'It's normally the bride who wants a traditional church wedding.

'In this case, it's the groom.

'Stephen's a regular at Saint George's church

'but hasn't been able to pin the vicar down to a date.'

I'm still waiting to get everything finalised with the vicar.

He's been away for a couple of days on holiday

so I haven't had a chance to have a conversation and sort things out.

'Patience is a virtue, Stephen.

'So, he's still short of a church and a venue.

'Today, it's Cosh's turn to drive.

'They're off to visit Auckland Castle.

'The website looked great but will this one be as disappointing?'

-I haven't seen this one.

-It might be crap!

If this one's crap, right, and me vicar...

SATNAV: After 800 yards, take the exit.

If you say, "I cannae get married there,"

I'll have a nervous breakdown!

'With its 800 years of history, will Auckland Castle be grand enough?'

-That looks lovely, that.

-Yeah, yeah.

That's perfect, isn't it?

If you think of castles... The only thing it hasn't got is a moat!

'In this medieval setting,

'the lads have a brainwave about a themed reception.'

In a medieval castle, you're not going to put a country fete on.

Medieval entertainers!

COSH LAUGHS

I'd have medieval acrobats and jugglers and sword swallowers and flame-blowers.

Just kind of, if you went to a carnival.

-Hi, Stephen. I'm Michelle.

-Hi, Michelle.

They're comfy? I might not get down, with my leg.

You'd be sitting on that side, if you were Shelley.

I like this. This is nice.

'It's the perfect venue for King Stephen and Queen Shelley

'to host a medieval banquet.

'The groom's creative juices are really flowing now.'

If I wanted some kind of like... pig on a spit, medieval kind...

You know, the turning thing?

We do a roast loin of suckling pig as one of the main course dishes.

If you're looking at medieval style food,

we can talk to the chefs and put something together for you.

Thank you very much. Cheers.

Well, the venue's sorted.

I'll be getting married here on 24th May

to Miss Shelley White,

soon to be Mrs Shelley Scott.

COSH SPLUTTERS

What a lovely name!

This was a make-or-break.

There was no Plan B. This was it.

'It cost seven grand, but Stephen's bagged the second venue he's seen.

'And he's got £500 of booze chucked in for free.

'What's next on his "to do" list?

'Somewhere to get married would be good.

'With the church not confirmed, Stephen needs a back-up plan.

'He sends Shelley to the registry office to fill out the paperwork.'

By the sounds of it, it's going to be a civil ceremony.

I didn't have any preference, really.

I would have liked a church wedding, if possible, I must admit.

'She's putting a brave face on things,

'but when Mum gets home, reality sinks in.'

It's not what you really wanted. You wanted a church, if possible.

I would have probably had a church, but I'm sure it'll be nice.

It'll be lovely, but I really feel it for you. I know how much...

-You made me feel more...

-I made you feel worse!

I'm sure it'll be lovely anyway. I just feel a bit upset for you.

I know.

It'll be fine.

It will. It'll be lovely.

Ah...

It will be.

'It's D-day for Stephen.

'He's off to meet the vicar

'to find out if he can have the church wedding

'that means so much to his bride.

'And to him.'

Everything's resting on this. I'm bricking it, basically.

-Hi.

-Hello. Come on in.

I've been, literally, since Tuesday, completely on tenterhooks,

thinking that I might turn up here and I can't get married.

I just wanted to check that we could do the things that we wanted to do.

Right.

So I needed to check about organists and have another chat with you.

And it's fine.

So is that good news?

That's brilliant! Yes!

God!

I'm crying!

-Well, I'm really pleased.

-So am I.

You're all right? Now!

-Right. OK.

-Just relax and we'll talk about what we need to talk about.

-OK.

-OK?

Absolutely over the moon!

No words can describe how I'm feeling.

Two weeks and two days!

Shelley will be here getting married. To me.

'The couple come from very different backgrounds.

'Shelley knows what a traditional wedding means to her fiance.'

He sees me, my mum, dad and my brother, we're all really close.

He hasn't had that upbringing.

Mum and Dad split up... maybe when I was about 14, 15?

I stayed with my dad. My dad wasn't well at the time.

I took over a role of looking after my dad when he was ill.

From literally everything, basically.

Sorting out the bills, cooking, making sure he was all right.

I think that... Well, that made us the person I am today, really.

He always says, "You've had the perfect upbringing, the perfect family."

Which is true.

He would like that. He's very traditional.

That's really important to him.

'Five days in, and there's still everything to do.

'Next on Stephen's list is the wedding ring.'

I was too scared to get the engagement ring,

never mind the wedding one!

I think it'll probably be easier getting the wedding ring.

I know what the engagement ring was like, so I can use that as a base.

-'His eye is caught by a bargain.'

-£4,750 reduced to £1,795.

There's got to be something strange with that.

'Shelley's tastes are more upmarket.'

That one is 2,650. That's a full platinum.

OK.

I think I put two grand for a ring. Max.

I was hoping to at least cut £500 to £1,000 off that.

-Hiya.

-Yes, sir?

I'm looking for...wedding rings.

'Next up, the price is right but the timing's wrong.'

Two weeks.

'It's getting late and, with one shop to go, the pressure is on.'

If we were quoting on them normally, we would want a good 12 weeks.

It's do-able within the time you've got, but it would be tight.

-What was the price?

-In platinum, that's going to be a...

..£1,600...£1,700 ring.

Is there anything we can knock off?

The very best price I'd be able to do it for would be £1,350.

Brilliant. Thank you very much.

'He saved £400! Another result for the bargain hunter.'

# Diamonds are a girl's best friend. #

Very positive. I'm quite chuffed with that.

And I liked the fact that his assistant was called Shelley.

That was just... I've got good feelings about that.

'He's got a church, a reception venue and a ring.

'What a productive first week! If he could just find a dress...

'He's got his mate Sweeny in to help but neither has ever chosen a frock.

'This should be interesting.'

-Hi, Stephen. I'm Wendy.

-Nice to meet you.

-And you.

-I'm looking for a wedding dress.

-Right.

And hopefully you can help us with that.

-I take it this is for a bride.

-It is! No, not me!

I'm petrified about the dress,

that he'll pick the most horrendous dress ever.

I'm just trying not to think about it, to tell you the truth!

'Stephen's not given it much thought, either.

'They've been together for five years but he doesn't know her size.'

-Bit bigger here.

-Right.

And kind of more...curvy.

-She's got more shape on the hips?

-I would say so, yes.

I would take the chance that she's probably going to be size 12 to 14.

With certain things, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

If it's my big day and a horrible dress, there could be tears.

'Shelley won't have any say in her dress, but she can't resist a little window shopping

'with Mum Linda and chief bridesmaid Annika.'

Shelley can be quite difficult. She knows her own style.

She knows what she wants.

So, I think for Stephen to plan a whole wedding for her,

and her not to have a say about it, is quite difficult for Stephen.

A bit too big for this one!

That is gorgeous!

-It's very Spanish.

-Yeah.

-Spanish and Italian.

Oh, it's gorgeous! It's beautiful.

I just hope that he does pick me a nice one. I'm sure he will.

If you want to show off her curves, this one will show off her curves.

That looks more ballroom dress, not wedding.

-More evening-y?

-Yes, evening dressy.

That's not what you're looking for?

No.

You have got the sweetheart going on.

You've got a little tulle strap that goes over the shoulder.

Not that it means anything to you, being blokes!

-'You said it!'

-Keep that to one side?

-Definitely.

You've got your sweetheart neckline, nice fitted body. Ruches across.

Your crinkle tulle

and then, in fact, you've got a little bolero.

-With a little bit of ruching round.

-I like that.

-What's that called?

-Bolero.

-Bolero?

-Yeah.

Spanish dancing now!

'Er, that's a bit like a bolero!'

Spanish theme!

'While the boys are baffled by boleros,

'the bride is proving that dress shopping is a woman's job.'

Oh! That's even...

-That is stunning!

-That is... Oh!

This is definitely the one. This is the dress of my dreams.

-The other was gorgeous but that...

-Definitely, definitely the one!

-Gorgeous!

-Oh, it's beautiful!

This fits like a fairy tale!

A very weird moment!

If Stephen wasn't picking everything, I would have bought it now.

-It would have been bought and paid for!

-Yes. Definitely.

'Shelley's made her mind up.

'Shame it's not up to her.'

You've got something a bit different on that one.

That one! By a mile.

That one just fits and looks... even on a mannequin. I like that.

I love that. That's great. I'm gonna take that dress.

'Stephen thinks it could set him back two grand. What's the damage?'

-Do you want to know the price?

-Do you want to sit down first?

-Take a seat.

-I don't think it's going to matter in truth.

I'm going for that dress.

-£950, including your jacket.

-OK!

'Bargain! No wonder Mr Discount's smiling!'

That's the dress Shelley's going to wear.

-Exciting stuff.

-I think she'll love it.

She'd better do, eh?

'A week in, and Stephen's spent £10,000 of his £16,500 budget.

'But will his choices impress his bride-to-be?

'She's worried about what he's up to

'and is getting together with her bridesmaids Annika and Joyce for a bit of moral support.'

Shelley is very picky.

I think Stephen has an idea,

but whether it's what Shelley really wants is another thing.

She'd said something about wedding shoes.

He said, "You've got plenty of shoes in the wardrobe!"

I wish I was as happy as a lamb.

-I hope he isn't going tacky.

-What do you mean by tacky?

Pink limo. Chocolate fountain.

Oh, God!

-I'd probably stick to the chocolate fountain!

-Better than a pink limo!

But at a wedding? No.

-Do you want a coffee?

-Aye...

'Back in town, the lads get together for a medieval brainstorm.'

But there's bad news.

Best man Mark has a business meeting on the day of the wedding - 7,000 miles away!

Mark's obviously leaving us. I need you to step in as stand-in best men.

-I'm only away for a week.

-Can you not make it three?

I would love to be colour co-ordinated but...

-Yeah.

-He won't think like that.

-Probably get you deep red.

I don't like burgundy. I really don't like burgundy.

-You don't like burgundy?

-No.

'While the girls worry about colour, the lads chew over the food.'

Trying to get that kind of medieval thing going.

Organise the pig.

She's going to parade it round before they carve it up.

-Oh, no!

-It's dead!

-Alive?

-No.

With a Rambo knife! Aagh!

-Jesus.

-Aye, it's going to be dead before we do that!

A happy day for everybody(!)

So, the vegetarians will like that(!)

He knows how I am on a day-to-day basis.

He doesn't know the deeper, more... I don't know.

I don't know.

I think he'll pull out all the stops.

-Definitely.

-He will.

He worships you, man.

'He's pulling out all the stops,

'searching for the perfect medieval tune for the reception.'

JOLLY MEDIEVAL TUNE That's all right, that! >

"My Johnny was a shoemaker!"

'Best man Mark is getting out just in time.

'He may be missing the big day.

'There's no chance of him missing the most important event,

the stag do.

'Lunch time in Liverpool.

'It's an early start to an early stag.'

MUSIC: "Seven Nations Army" by The White Stripes

I'm Catholic.

I miss my lass.

'What better way to celebrate your commitment to one woman

'than by getting close to several scantily clad ladies?

'He hasn't forgotten it's his bride-to-be's birthday.'

-That's lovely.

-You don't know what it looks like!

'While she admires her new top,

'she's no idea that her boyfriend is going topless.'

A bit different. Not what I was expecting.

'After the birds comes the booze,

'as the stag continues into the evening.'

CORK POPS

-Happy birthday. Sorry Stephen's not here.

-I know.

Thank you. Last time. Last birthday without being married.

'With a few drinks inside them, the boys can't resist throwing some shapes on the dance floor.'

-Wonder what Stephen's doing now.

-I don't want to think about it!

-LAUGHTER

-By this time, should be drunk.

I'm sure he will be. 9:20pm. I'm sure he'll be very drunk.

'So drunk he's got into a spot of bother with a couple of bouncers.'

-Aye, we'll

-BLEEP!

-They pushed me down the stairs.

-BLEEP.

So I've got to get out of there.

What a...what a dick!

'Some strippers and a few shots and it's all over for the stag.

'I thought Geordies were made of tougher stuff!

'Stephen's walking up the aisle in 11 days' time.

'He's got a church, a dress, a ring, a venue and a theme!

'He hasn't actually invited anyone to his wedding!

'He calls his mum and mother-in-law-to-be

'to help with the guest list.'

Shelley family and Stephen family.

Mine's quite short, actually.

'That can't be said for Shelley's mum's list.'

There's Ben's mum. Claire and David. Pat, my sister.

Gavin. Grace and Bob.

Morton and Nicola. Maureen and John.

'Linda, don't hold back!'

Claire and David.

'Time for Sandra to try and get a word in.'

-I've got you...

-Oh, me. Yes, me.

LAUGHS

-Harvey.

-Harvey.

Alan. Couldn't think there! Alan.

That's all it is on ours. Not a lot.

How many mates of yours will be there?

I'll be giving a lot over of ours to Shelley.

When are you thinking about getting the invitations out?

The latest, Monday, really.

-It's going to have to be.

-Maybe before.

'He's going to invite 120 people.

'Two-thirds will be Shelley's friends and family.

'The next job isn't the invites, it's the bridesmaids' dresses.

'Even though he's got three grand left, he wants to spend £400 on the four girls, including shoes!'

That's out of budget by double.

So...

Unless we can do something special, then it's...

..looking a bit dodgy.

'Annika and Joyce arrive to model for him.'

Just through here. He got here before you.

Hiya. How you doing?

I've had a kind of idea of how I want it.

It's just really...budget-wise as well. I'm running out of money.

'That's not strictly true, is it, Stephen?'

That's gorgeous, that.

Pink would definitely be my worst colour to have on.

I'm really not keen on it.

-And Shelley doesn't like red.

-No!

'Sadly, it's not up to Shelley.'

You can get an idea of the short and long.

I like the one on the right better than the one on the left.

'What was the one colour you shouldn't pick?'

-That's burgundy?

-That's burgundy. Yes.

-Can I have a quick...?

-Yeah. Course you can.

(Shelley hates burgundy.)

I don't know whether we can say anything about that.

'Tell him, for goodness' sake!

'The girls don't say a word. So, burgundy it is.'

Basically, she doesn't like burgundy at all.

Or any kind of red, so I am quite worried what she's going to think.

'The groom doesn't care about colour. He cares about cost.'

£360, that.

I can even go to the £400 I had

and I've still 40 quid to get four pairs of shoes.

'Good luck, Stephen!

'It's a week before the wedding and time for Shelley's hen.'

What am I supposed to blow up! I'll blow it up.

LAUGHS

-Thank you so much.

-GIGGLING

Hello, Stephen!

'Meanwhile, the real Stephen's having a quiet Saturday night in.

'For a bit of fun, the girls have come up with a gangster theme.'

We're going to have a really good night.

Come on, girlies! I need a drink!

SCREAMS

Where's my shot?

Everyone will think it's the binge-drinking northeast!

-DJ:

-How's our hen party tonight?

-CHEERING

'To spice up the night, there are forfeits to face.'

Hello!

Are you all right?

-Do you know me?

-I do know you.

You don't remember us?

Oh, yeah. I do remember you.

One!

Two!

Three.

Four!

Five!

'Shelley's met her target.

'Has her groom met his?

'With five days to go, he's got a venue,

'a dress and a theme, but he doesn't have any guests.

'Time to send some invites.'

I think making your own,

it does give it a bit of a personal touch.

That's not what I'm doing it for. It's literally saving money.

STRIKES MATCH

'No medieval invite's complete without a little sealing wax.

'I said sealing wax! Not candle wax!'

That's not going to work at all.

'Perfect.

'For a three-year-old and if your theme is Hammer House of Horror!'

The candle's not going to work.

'A dejected groom sacks the wax.

'Are Shelley's 80 guests going to get an invite

'or are they meant to be psychic?

'Speaking of psychic, it's the invitations Shelley's worried about.

I feel more stressed this week.

Nobody's said they've got an invitation.

That would be the first thing I'd organise.

Everybody's avoiding you, aren't they?

I'd like to know they had an invitation.

You know what Stephen's like.

He'll think everyone will drop their plans.

Or they shouldn't have any plans and be able to come to the wedding.

He doesn't think people have lives. He's always been a bit like that.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so they say!

I think... Hmm. Depends on how well he does.

'Ouch!

'With time running out, Stephen's on a spending spree.

'He shells out £1,000 on wedding cars and flowers

'and £1,200 on his medieval theme!

'But he's still keen to save some pennies.

'How about a tacky tiara for £14.99?'

It was cheap. Fits in the budget. Save five pounds.

'A cheeky discount on the bridesmaids' shoes.'

Dorothy Perkins does student discount.

Did run out about six years ago.

I got it from £45 to £40.50.

'Most importantly, he's thrown some money at the invitation problem - three quid on some ribbon!

'His anxious bride will be relieved

'to know he's having another go at making the invites.

'He IS getting married in three days' time!

'And it's another outing for the bride's favourite colour!'

It would have been easier if I'd done this in the first place.

'Hm. Frayed polyester ribbon! Very authentic(!)'

That's not bad, actually!

I could have just got people's numbers and text them.

I could do for my lot. There's only 20 people coming from my family.

And about six friends.

Shelley - mates, 43.

Just have to sacrifice my lot.

Surprising what you can knock up for a tenner!

'There might be guests after all, even if they are all Shelley's!'

Shelley, come in here a second.

From Steve.

LAUGHS

-Look! You're getting married!

-BOTH LAUGH

Don't start me off!

Nice!

Saturday?

-LAUGHS

-This Saturday.

We're just getting invitations?

Well, soon!

Do you think anyone's going to turn up at short notice?

I don't know.

My God. I wasn't expecting this weekend.

I hope that's not the colour scheme, burgundy.

-I think it's quite nice.

-Do you think?

-Mm-hm.

-Do you not?

-It wouldn't have been me choice, like.

The invitations are lovely

but I'm a bit worried that people are just starting to get them now.

'In keeping with his medieval theme, Stephen's had a brainwave.

'Why not dress the waitresses as serving wenches?

'Amongst the masks and moustaches he finds the perfect wench outfit.

'He needs ten of them, but will he get a discount for a bulk buy?'

I've got £200 for the fancy dress.

-That's all I've got left completely.

-Completely?

-Yeah.

'Why not try your pitiful look?'

-I could do them within your budget.

-'It works!'

-Not to buy. To hire.

-Yeah. That'd be great.

'Ten outfits for £200. A great deal! But the detail's not right for this wedding planner.'

That wasn't what was over there.

No, the other one, it's a short skirt.

-I like that one better. I wouldn't go for that.

-Right. OK.

-Even though it's a short skirt?

-That doesn't look serving.

That doesn't look like a serving girl. I don't think.

'Give up, love. Stephen's obviously a medieval fashion expert(!)'

-I'm not going to bother with the girls' outfits.

-Right. OK.

'Looks like serving wenches are off the menu, then.

'It's the day before the wedding.

'At last, Shelley will see the dress that Stephen's chosen for her.

'She's brought her mum and two bridesmaids for moral support.'

-You ready to try your dress on?

-I think so!

LAUGHTER

-We're going to blindfold you and put gloves on.

-Really?

-Yes.

So you can't see or feel what it's like.

If your mum takes a seat there. We'll take you through, Shelley.

I'm really... Not nervous. I feel quite excited for her.

Quite emotional.

This is the strangest experience.

I just want to know what it looks like.

Really exciting. I'm dying to see what she looks like.

If she doesn't like that dress, I think I'm marrying the wrong person.

I think anyone would love that beautiful dress.

I'll guide you.

There's a tiny step here. Be careful.

That's it.

This is the most awful experience! LAUGHTER

-There we go.

-Wow!

It's beautiful, isn't it?

I love it, actually. I'm surprised he's done such a good job.

-That's just gorgeous.

-I'm in shock!

LAUGHTER

-Didn't think he had such good taste?

-No!

-Did you help him?

-No. We had nothing to do with it.

It's gorgeous!

I love it! It's so different!

It's so different!

The top is just beautiful.

It's gorgeous!

'It may be gorgeous, but it doesn't fit.

'Stephen picked a size 14 dress for his size 10 bride.

'There are just 24 hours left to make the alterations.'

When Stephen picked the dress,

he paid for the dress but he hasn't paid for the alterations.

So, I don't know if you need to speak to him with regards to price?

It's going to work out about £150.

Hope he's got more money in the budget!

'Linda calls her future son-in-law.'

Hello?

Shelley's trying her wedding dress on and it needs some alterations.

-Right.

-I'm ringing to see if you've got any money left in the budget.

-How much are you talking?

-Er...150.

150?

I thought the woman said she'd do any alterations needed for nothing.

Right. We'll sort it out, then.

He says he didn't think he had to pay for the alterations.

I'll pay for the alterations and get it back off him later. OK?

Mother to the rescue, I think! LAUGHTER

'But Stephen does have the cash and is feeling guilty

'about his mother-in-law having to put her hand in her pocket.

'Not so guilty he can't do a quick impression.'

I know what this call's going to be.

-MIMICS LINDA:

-She can't do it for nowt. She needs £150.

'Shelley's mum's at the cashpoint.'

Hi, Stephen. Shelley's mum's going to pay everything. OK?

-Who am I speaking to here?

-Sorry? It's Joyce.

Oh, right.

-It's Joyce.

-So it's all sorted?

-Sorry?

I've got £150 if she needs it. I've got enough budget for it.

Well, you can give her it later, then.

That woman said she'd do it.

I didn't want to get pissed round by somebody,

some woman making the dress.

-OK. You've got it. OK, then.

-Bye.

When she phoned him, he was driving and couldn't really...

He had to pull over, then answer so he wasn't thinking straight.

'Stephen wants the perfect day for his beloved Shelley.

'All his preparations are finally in place.

'He's done everything he can for his future wife.

'Nice work, Stephen.

'After three weeks of hard negotiating, he's exhausted.'

See what she says tomorrow but at this moment in time,

I'm delighted with the whole thing.

Can't wait to have my dress on and tell him he's done a really good job,

how proud I am of him.

'Five years together, three weeks apart and a bill of £16,500.

'The big day has finally arrived.

'Is the bride feeling nervous?'

I feel quite laid-back, actually.

Not knowing any plans I don't know any timescales. It's strange.

She can get away with a bin bag on. We have to use extra make-up!

'Shelley's relaxed, but upstairs a crisis is brewing.'

You're all right. Don't panic!

'Bridesmaid's Annika's dress was altered but completely misjudged.

'The girls try to fix it without worrying the bride.

'Linda initially tries to force her into it.'

CHILD WHINES

Go with Helen and get your dress on.

'At least Annika's daughter's dress fits perfectly.

'But she's upset for her mum.'

Sorry, Annika.

We're cutting it, dear.

Do that round there. That hides that...

'Then Linda comes up with an ingenious solution.'

Helen, darling. Would you just pass us the tape?

CHILD SCREAMS

'The chief bridesmaid will spend the day with an open-back dress -

'as long as the tape holds.'

That's beautiful. Lovely.

Look at them!

Ah!

-A bit of a crisis with my dress!

-Why?

-It doesn't fit.

-SHELLEY GASPS

Oh, no!

-It looks really nice at the back.

-Oh.

I can't believe they got it wrong.

'The tape's not working, but help comes from an unexpected source.'

-Oh, hello!

-I'm your florist!

-Thank you!

Usually, I get to know the bride before!

Is there anything I can help with because I've got a box of goodies?

We can do something. Not a problem.

I have an O-level needlework!

I don't think I'd have passed this one!

I don't want to stab you.

'With an hour till the wedding, the bridesmaids get Shelley ready.'

Looks beautiful!

BELLS PEAL

'While the boys gather at Saint George's,

'one final special visitor has arrived at Shelley's house.'

Oh!

Come on!

'Stephen's arranged for Shelley's horse Millie to turn up.'

She's all matching with us!

You're a beautiful girl!

You look gorgeous, Mildred.

'Time to say goodbye to her childhood friend

'and move on to married life.

'With 45 minutes to go, the limos arrive and nerves start to show.'

Put it in that.

-Does it have to go on like that?

-It'll have to go in like that.

-You'll have to put it here, Mum.

-There?

-Yeah.

Butterflies in my tummy!

I haven't had a rehearsal! It's scary!

BELLS PEAL

I'll attempt to...

Thank you.

# Ave Maria

# Gratia plena

# Maria, gratia plena... #

-I, Stephen.

-I, Stephen.

-Take you, Shelley.

-Take you, Shelley.

-To be my wife.

-To be my wife.

-To have and to hold.

-To have and to hold.

-From this day forward.

-From this day forward.

-For better, for worse.

-For better, for worse.

-For richer, for poorer.

-For richer, for poorer.

-In sickness and in health.

-In sickness and in health.

I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

Those whom God has joined together, let no-one put asunder.

# You give me something

# That makes me scared, all right

# This could be nothing But I'm willing to give it a try

# Please give me something

# For some day I might call you from my heart

# But it might be a second too late... #

Gorgeous. Really nice.

I mean, she always looks nice but today she looks really nice.

I might have had a few tears but I cry all the time, anyway!

The service was absolutely gorgeous.

The singing was fantastic.

I said we'd pull it off. Anything's possible.

With the right team, we've done it.

'Everything's possible - including a first marital tiff

'in the car on the way to the reception.'

That has been hard! In the church there's about 30 people on my side.

-I didn't want you to do that.

-No, I'm not saying that.

I'm saying the whole thing.

I didn't want you to have no-one there

because you thought I'd want everyone.

I don't care.

I wouldn't have bothered if anyone were there,

as long as you turned up.

Domestic already! There you go!

Married five minutes.

'Will the grandeur of Auckland Castle lift the couples' spirits?'

Wow! This is nice!

Very nice! Ah! Look at me little girls!

Bring them together.

Nice big smile!

Everyone that's important is here. He's really pulled it off.

I could never have imagined a wedding like this.

'The chief bridesmaid's happier, too, thanks to the florist.'

We tried stitching her in here, taping it. It wasn't going anywhere.

It actually hurts a little bit.

I'm wired.

She's totally wired. She's done a really good job.

Wow!

'Time to unveil the grand theme!'

MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS It's beautiful.

Look at the chairs! Gorgeous!

What's all this cutlery?

It's a goblet and a tankard.

What they'd use in medieval times.

A wooden spoon!

I've had to actually hire in different caterers for the cutlery.

-Oh, my God!

-To put on a theme.

-It'll be lovely!

LAUGHS

So I have to drink out of that?

They are clean! That's for the wine.

-What the hell's that?

-A goblet.

Ladies and gentlemen, please proceed upstairs,

where the bride and groom are waiting to receive you.

'The medieval reception begins - with not a wench in sight.

'For the guests, there's no escaping Stephen's theme.'

- Nightmare! - Uh-oh!

I couldn't get any on!

'And it's only just begun. No half measures with this groom.'

Oh, my God! What have you got now?

MUSIC: "Swords Of A Thousand Men" by Tenpole Tudor

'No medieval wedding would be complete without some bloodshed.'

I think I'll just keep him!

I never thought he would do so well in three weeks.

This is how I saw me wedding in me mind.

'I had an idea of a fairy tale wedding.

'A castle, a church. Everything's just been absolutely brilliant.'

'The best man may be 7,000 miles away,

'but he still delivers his speech.'

We've been through a lot The times have been great

I couldn't have asked for a much better mate

He then met a girl who would change his life

The girl he would marry and call his wife

To Stephen and Shelley, here's to a wonderful life

Perfectly matched as husband and wife. Cheers.

'This traditional groom has one last trick up his sleeve -

'a not-quite-so-traditional finale.'

# Because we are your friends

# You'll never be alone again... #

CHEERING

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd