Emma and Patrick Don't Tell the Bride


Emma and Patrick

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Emma and Patrick are childhood sweethearts.

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I've always known that Patrick's the one since I was 15. It was love at first sight.

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They have two children, but Emma has been waiting nearly ten years to get Patrick up the aisle.

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I just want to be married, just for us all to have the same name.

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But Patrick is determined to save up for a house, leaving Emma's big plans on standby.

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We would never be able to get married and have a house.

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So we're giving them £12,000 towards their big day

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and a chance for Patrick to prove himself to the woman he loves.

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Is "shapeless" a bra?

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But the couple have agreed in the presence of a lawyer

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that Patrick will organise the wedding alone.

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They'll have absolutely no contact

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and the bride won't know a single thing about her wedding until the big day in three weeks' time.

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-Bring swimwear?!

-Will Patrick choose Emma's arch-enemy to be his best man?

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I hate him with a passion.

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That hurt, mate.

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Will he remember it's a wedding, not a barbecue he's planning?

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Shorts and a T-shirt, that would be my ideal thing.

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And how low can one groom go to get himself a bargain?

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Can we not do a "buy two, get one free" deal? Can I just hug you quickly? 800,000? I'm gonna cry.

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Can this man give this woman the fairy-tale wedding of her dreams?

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-Look at this, it's all fallen out.

-Talk about Bridezilla!

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Today, computer programmer Patrick is leaving the family home in Horsham, Sussex,

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to plan the most important day of Emma's life.

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The childhood sweethearts are already parents to Jaden, six, and Josh who's two.

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But they haven't always agreed about tying the knot.

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-Patrick's scared of being married.

-I'm not scared. I've got someone very nice to marry.

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-But you're scared of committing.

-Cooks well, cleans well. Good wife material. I love her.

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Patrick's not romantic at all.

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Unromantic Patrick is hoping to make amends for his non-existent proposal.

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I nagged Patrick to the point where I chose the ring.

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We ended up in town and she said, "That's a nice ring." I said, "Would you like it?" She had to say...

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"Does that mean we're engaged?" He said, "Yeah." That was the proposal!

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I'm looking to give Emma a great wedding to make up for the lack of romance

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that came through with the proposal.

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The only way Patrick is prepared to take the plunge is to do the wedding his way.

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It must have a Patrick feel. I don't have to listen to anybody else. There'll be no bickering,

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no arguing, no compromises. Everything is my way.

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Emma and Patrick, who was born in South Africa, can't agree on what kind of wedding to have.

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I want a traditional wedding. I'd have a castle.

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I want everyone to think, "Wow, she just looks like a Disney princess, like Cinderella!"

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Belle in Beauty And The Beast!

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I would like more of a relaxed wedding.

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If I could go there in shorts and a T-shirt, that would just be my ideal thing.

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It's not about "I have to have a nice, big dress" and getting driven there in a flashy car.

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-That's exactly what a wedding is about.

-The glitz and glamour is important to you.

-That's right.

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From the bottom of my heart I believe I deserve a nice wedding.

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It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

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The next time they meet will be at the altar.

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I love you.

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-Bye-bye.

-Bye-bye.

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-I love you.

-I'll see you later, Em.

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-Bye-bye!

-Bye!

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THEME MUSIC: "The Great Escape"

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Patrick is determined to plan this wedding with military precision

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and drafts in his troops for a meeting at the pub.

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Childhood friend Anthony and younger brother Sean will share best man duties.

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-Magazine, check.

-Magazines, check. Wedding book, check.

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Patrick's choice of Anthony as best man doesn't exactly sit well with Emma.

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I hate him with a passion.

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I don't trust him as far as I could throw him, let alone trust him even going near my wedding,

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so that infuriates me that he's involved.

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There's a lot of things that happened in the past.

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I've taken Pat away and we've done some crazy things and he hasn't turned up for two days.

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I don't think Emma's too happy about that. People really do change.

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And I hope I can just prove that to Emma.

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You know? It'd mean a lot to me.

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-Dress, bridesmaid's dress.

-A church.

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Favours, buttonholes, wedding insurance, invitations. There's three bridesmaids.

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Wedding insurance? Looks like Patrick has nailed a plan of attack in 20 minutes flat!

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We've made the list. Now we need to prioritise.

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But brother Sean has something to say and calls a halt to proceedings.

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It's not about us just ticking boxes. Name something about you and Emma's relationship that is unique.

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If you were hippies, you'd want a hippy van. What are you guys?

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MUTTERS TO HIMSELF

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-Christ!

-You're like...weird.

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Patrick's stumped, but Sean knows exactly how to give Emma her fairy-tale wedding.

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I think Emma would like that, the whole Cinderella look.

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It's a shame Sean's not in charge of this operation.

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Emma wants to be treated like a princess, like at Disneyland, but she'll feel like an idiot.

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I think she'll go, "I don't know if I did want to look like Cinderella on the Disney carousel thing."

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To my two best men!

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Patrick's not a regular churchgoer,

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but that doesn't stop him cold-calling his local Catholic priest.

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Hello, Father Terry. How are you?

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I have to be married in a church.

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If you get married to me, you make your vows and you say them in front of God. That's a big thing for me.

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To me, being married in a church would be the right thing to do.

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Me and Emma have desperately wanted to get married for two years.

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You only get to walk down the aisle in a church once. To me, that's quite important.

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I would exhaust every single angle and possibility,

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so that we were married by a Catholic priest in the church, but I understand what you're saying.

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Having exhausted every single angle and possibility, the priest says no,

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but "no" isn't in Patrick's vocabulary.

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# Under pressure... #

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From my side, I think I've said it all really, that we would envisage getting married in a church.

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That's what being married is all about to me really.

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18 minutes later, Patrick is still refusing to take no for an answer.

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Patrick is the stressiest person I know.

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As soon as anything is wrong or not going his way, he just gets so tense.

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It's just hard to deal with this.

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Thanks. You too. Take care. See you soon. Take care.

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No chance, mate.

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# Under pressure... #

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He can be aggressive when he's stressed. He gets very stressed.

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You never listen to me. I said to you, "Do you have that number?"

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I wrote it on the piece of paper you asked me for. Hello?

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-You need to stop snapping at people.

-I'm not snapping at you.

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-You know I'm stressed.

-I know you're stressed. Where's that piece of paper?

-It's just this church thing.

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Let me just have my hissy fit.

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Blissfully unaware of Patrick's stress levels,

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the bride-to-be and her mother Heidi have come to Wiston House in Sussex,

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a venue straight from a fairy tale.

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-I just want a really "princess" day.

-Lovely.

-You only have one day to be a princess.

-It's your day.

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Wow!

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This is exactly what I'd choose.

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-Everything.

-I think this is exactly what Patrick would choose as well, actually.

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Transport that thought to him.

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Patrick must be picking up on Emma's vibes.

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He's heading to Albury Park Mansions,

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a stately home that would certainly be fit for his princess.

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The Grade 2 listed building is the family home of Nigel and Jennifer Whalley.

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So this is the Great Room, Patrick.

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This is where George III had his coronation ball.

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It's fairly traditional, but it's top end traditional.

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Mum, look, there's a pumpkin! Cinderella!

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It's a massive one.

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-Then we spill out here to have the champagne on the terrace.

-Yeah.

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At Albury Park, it looks like Patrick is on the right path

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to giving the mother of his children the wedding of her dreams.

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But for him, it's pounds, not pumpkins that will seal the deal.

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Basically, if this comes in at five, I'll take it, but I always push for a better deal.

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What do you think you could do for us really?

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We could probably do the whole package for about £5,000.

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OK. I've always been taught you never take the first offer,

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but for me to even ask you to do it for less would...

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I think it would really ruin... I'm gonna cry, but thank you very much.

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# I wish I could cry on demand

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# Boo-hoo, boo-hoo... #

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Patrick's got exactly what he wanted, but he's walking away without committing.

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Good morning, Jennifer. It's Patrick speaking. Patrick McDonogh.

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The next day, he's sticking to his guns and trying to knock some more money off the price.

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For the 5,000, you're giving us an awful lot.

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I felt that it would not only be rude and inappropriate to...

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I would've made myself look like a fool to question it.

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So he knows it's rude and inappropriate to re-negotiate...

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Please don't take it badly or in an insulting way. I'm not trying to do that.

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But he's doing it anyway.

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But if I could do it at 4,100 with the buffet thrown in there,

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I'm really gonna be very happy to take off any...

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Pat's got something special. He's got... It's like a gift.

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Pat never gives up. He goes for it.

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You too. Take care. Thanks. Bye.

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-4,000 and she will include the buffet.

-Yes!

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Patrick's strategy has saved him another £1,000 and it sounds like he's booked Albury Park.

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-That is confirmed?

-Um...

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To everyone except Patrick.

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I think we need to check out this other venue.

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So Patrick has put aside the traditional British venue his bride wants

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and is looking at a less formal location to suit himself.

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Eastlands Estate held the celebrity wedding of R&B superstar Jamelia.

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This is kind of your initial ceremony.

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An outdoor ceremony in England? Are you sure?

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No beach then.

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Still, there's always the option of a pool party.

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We're from South Africa. What I like is we can pull off a barbecue here.

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We'd look like idiots doing one at that manor house.

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Patrick's lost sight of Emma's fairy-tale wedding and he's getting excited about burgers and buns.

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-This is really nice.

-Look at this!

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It's another golden opportunity for Patrick "never take the first offer" McDonogh

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to flex his financial muscle.

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You know what we're after, so what's the damage?

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It's 9,250 plus VAT.

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9,250 plus VAT.

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Really... We really can't do anything at those numbers.

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I was thinking if you could do it for 3,400?

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What, the venue price?

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Everything.

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-3,400 for everything - venue, drink. We can't do that.

-No.

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-No, we can't.

-Have you got your best number that you could give to us?

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-7,500 plus VAT.

-Basically, I've got somewhere else at 4,000.

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With all due respect, for that money you're not gonna get what we would give you.

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What you've got for that price, take it. You'll not get that here.

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But this wheeler-dealer won't leave until he gets a better offer.

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I don't think we can do it for that price.

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Money talks. What would you accept to take this place?

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-If they came to us and said 3,000, I would take it.

-Christ!

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Basically, what we can do and this is pretty set, for 5K plus VAT.

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That is worth 12 grand, that day. And you can have the house for the night as well.

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It's too high. I'm telling you, it's too much.

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You've got to admire his maracas.

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He's battered this celebrity venue down to less than half the going rate.

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But now Patrick is pushing his luck.

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If you said to me you could do it at 5,000 including VAT,

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it's just a nice round number for me that makes life a bit easier.

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-£5,000 inclusive of VAT, but done today. I'm a businessman.

-I can see that.

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At seven grand off the asking price, Patrick has done the deal of the decade.

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But true to form, he's quite prepared to walk away from it.

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Time for a catch-up with his trusty sidekicks.

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It's between Emma's traditional wedding at fairy-tale Albury Park...

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..and Patrick's South African barbecue-cum-pool party at the Eastlands Estate.

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Emma's dream wedding would be dreamed up in the old one.

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-I reckon the new one.

-New.

-The modern one.

-Modern.

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-Anthony, you saw that place yesterday.

-It was very nice.

-It was very nice.

-I did see it.

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If you were 40, 45 and getting married, I'd think spot-on, man. It'd be brilliant. But you're not.

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-I want to know your gut feeling.

-Old...fashioned.

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Patrick knows he should give Emma the traditional wedding that she dreams of, but...

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-I want the modern.

-Book it now.

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I am more of a risk-taker.

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And so for me, I'm gonna go for the modern, I think.

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We can bring South Africa to England with the modern one. It's obviously different to what she's expecting.

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She'll realise that what we do is better for her than what she was thinking.

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Emma's Disney dreams are in cinders, but on the bright side...

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You know what? We've got a venue, we've got a venue, we've got a venue.

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One week in and Emma's worrying about how she's going to look on her big day.

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Jaden, why don't you draw what you think Mummy should wear on her wedding?

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My dream dress is like a Disney princess.

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I want a meringue dress. Yeah, I want the fattest skirt, can't fit into a car kind of skirt.

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-What do you think I should wear on my wedding?

-I think you should wear a good dress.

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You can do an orange one because there are orange ones.

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-Yeah, some people have orange dresses.

-Wearing a dress...

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-This is gonna be like Princess Leia.

-I look a bit like a Dalek!

-No.

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At least Jaden is thinking about what Emma should wear.

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The dress is the last thing on Patrick's mind.

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He's running with his South African theme and designing invitations to match.

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What do you want? How many?

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-25 invitations.

-Have you got any colours, any themes or anything like that?

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We're going for an earthy theme at the moment, so we're going for white, green with a bit of brown.

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His scheme is inspired by the colours of the South African bush.

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When we're saying green, what shade of green?

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-I have to say, really, the colour of your top is perfect.

-OK.

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If I can be dead honest without sounding like I've been looking at your top.

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What's really the very, very best price that you guys could do?

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£100?

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£100? Really?

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I cringe when Patrick bargains with people in shops

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because you see a price and you just expect to pay the price.

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I was expecting you to say about 40, then we start negotiating.

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I just feel embarrassed. I walk out. I go off. I can't actually be with him.

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Could you do it for us for 30?

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Done deal? Big, huge favour? Do you know what I'll do?

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You can add your names to the list and give yourself an invitation and come to the evening party.

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-We'll do it for 30.

-We'll need a list of names.

-Don't worry about that.

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But Emma is worrying about her wedding dress.

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She's looking for inspiration with bridesmaid Alice,

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even though neither of them will have any say on what she wears.

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No, that's too plain.

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This is bugging me the most.

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-Anything else I can deal with.

-It's just the dress.

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Because if I look rubbish, then I'm gonna feel rubbish.

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I would find a way of getting another dress, even if I have to borrow money to buy my own dress.

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He knows how important it is, so he'd better choose a nice one, otherwise I won't marry him.

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No pressure then(!)

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Oblivious to just how much is at stake, Patrick is on the hunt for a dress that could be a deal-breaker.

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-Good morning. How are you?

-Fine, thank you.

-It's a beautiful shop.

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-I can see where this is going.

-We're looking at about 500 for her as a whole.

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Oh, last of the big spenders!

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He's still got half his budget left, but old habits die hard for this bargain hunter.

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This one may look promising.

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Although he has known Emma for ten years, her size escapes him.

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-Does the height of the bride make a huge difference?

-Yes, it does. How tall is she?

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-Do you mind if I just hug you quickly and I can tell you?

-Without my shoes on?

-Yeah, without shoes.

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If we can just have a little hug and just...

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She's about... I would say she's...

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-Roughly.

-She's about...

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It's getting a bit personal now!

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As Patrick gets personal, Emma shows Alice the kind of dress that would make her refuse to get married.

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Yeah, that one. That would be my worst nightmare having that.

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That's hideous. It's like an old granny dress.

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I think this whole rack is for older brides.

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Let's put that one on the short list.

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Maybe Patrick has forgotten how old his bride is.

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He's just short-listed "a granny dress".

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Oh, my gosh! I've actually seen the dress!

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Oh, my gosh! These are so nice. They're like princess dresses.

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Oh, Emma!

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This one's very big.

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No, straight away. That for me is just... No, there's no way.

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She would love this because it's quite Cinderella.

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That stuff belongs in fairy tales. It's not real life.

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That's the whole point of a wedding, Patrick!

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But as per usual, he's not going to give his bride what SHE wants.

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HE HUMS "The Wedding March"

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I really like it, I have to say. That, honestly, is a beautiful dress. Beautiful.

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-For me, this dress is a ten out of ten. Wouldn't you say?

-Definitely.

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I really love it.

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I love it. This is just the perfect dress. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever put on my body.

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I'd have the best day ever if I had this on.

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Oh, my gosh, I can't believe it!

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If Patrick got me a dress like this... Oh, look how thin I look! It's so nice.

0:22:330:22:40

-I think definitely.

-My gut instinct is that dress.

0:22:490:22:54

To make matters worse, this dress is a size 14. Emma is a size 8.

0:22:540:22:59

I feel like that's the only dress I want now. That's THE dress.

0:22:590:23:04

-How much is it? £1,690. I thought it'd be much more.

-More expensive than that, yeah.

0:23:040:23:10

I expect about £2,000 for Patrick to pay for a wedding dress.

0:23:100:23:14

The price for this dress is £1,150.

0:23:140:23:17

Right.

0:23:170:23:19

-Here we go again.

-If you could give me really the lowest price...

0:23:200:23:24

I wouldn't go to £500 on the dress.

0:23:240:23:27

Would you go... Could you go for all of it to 600?

0:23:270:23:31

-Would you go for £800?

-I just really can't.

0:23:310:23:35

-If we went to 750, we've got a deal.

-700, I shake your hand now.

0:23:350:23:40

750...

0:23:400:23:42

Please. For me, seven is bang in the middle.

0:23:430:23:47

Patrick has finally met his match.

0:23:470:23:50

If we went to 750, I'd be happy with that.

0:23:500:23:53

-Did you say you could do it for 725 though?

-750.

0:23:530:23:57

He's a joker, isn't he?

0:23:570:23:59

It was quite an experience. He drove a hard bargain, but I kept my own.

0:23:590:24:03

So he's bought Emma the wrong dress for the wrong price in the wrong size.

0:24:030:24:10

He may live to regret it.

0:24:100:24:13

Emma's got problems of her own. She's with her brother and dad.

0:24:130:24:17

He's still coming to terms with having no say in his little girl's wedding.

0:24:170:24:23

Yeah, but you're our eldest daughter, our only daughter.

0:24:230:24:27

-And it's frustrating sometimes when you can't have an input...

-Into something.

-Even something small.

0:24:270:24:34

You feel like you should be doing it as a parent.

0:24:340:24:37

You feel like you should be organising it. Sometimes it feels like I'm turning up for a barbecue.

0:24:370:24:43

If only you knew, Dad! It looks like Emma's not the only traditional one in this family.

0:24:430:24:49

-Do you know what would have been really nice? If he'd have asked for your...

-Hand in marriage.

-Yeah.

0:24:490:24:55

He hasn't done that. He's kind of assumed that we're gonna accept it. Of course I am, but...

0:24:550:25:01

-It wasn't done traditionally.

-Yeah. Tradition says that you should do it.

0:25:010:25:07

Patrick's not doing anything the way tradition says he should.

0:25:100:25:14

A week and a half in, he's on a mission to kit out the bridesmaids in his unusual colour scheme.

0:25:140:25:21

What I'm thinking is brown dresses...

0:25:220:25:26

Brown dresses? OK.

0:25:260:25:28

-Is that a bit weird?

-It's different, yeah.

0:25:280:25:32

This groom knows exactly how to win the girls over.

0:25:320:25:35

None of them are overly tall.

0:25:350:25:38

They're around average for girls, but a bit on the shorter side, which is not a problem.

0:25:380:25:43

I don't want them to look frumpy. As long as the style of the dresses adds a bit of height to the girls.

0:25:430:25:50

What have you got in mind? A pair of stilts?

0:25:500:25:53

# Ridicule is nothing to be scared of... #

0:25:530:25:57

The girls don't look convinced.

0:25:570:25:59

How much are the dresses, just quickly?

0:26:010:26:04

115.

0:26:040:26:05

I notice you guys have got a sale sign up on there. Could you do something for me on those dresses?

0:26:050:26:12

-Coast won't do that, unfortunately.

-That's fine.

0:26:120:26:15

Determined to find a better deal elsewhere, Patrick hits the high street.

0:26:150:26:21

I have to say, there is something about this that's quite funky that I do like.

0:26:210:26:26

Is he blind?

0:26:260:26:28

-I'm not trying it on.

-Alice, can I just see it on you?

0:26:280:26:32

-You'll look beautiful, Alice.

-Shut up, Patrick!

0:26:320:26:35

-I actually look about 50. I'm not joking.

-You're all right.

0:26:350:26:39

Nearly ready.

0:26:390:26:41

No, it doesn't look right. You look too...

0:26:410:26:46

-Fat? Are you saying I look fat?

-No, I didn't say that, Alice. I did not say that.

0:26:460:26:51

It doesn't compliment your figure.

0:26:510:26:54

# Prince Charming, Prince Charming... #

0:26:540:26:56

Suddenly, the original brown dress isn't looking so bad after all.

0:26:560:27:01

If he can just get the price down...

0:27:010:27:04

-Can we not do like a "buy two, get one free" deal?

-Coast don't do that, unfortunately.

0:27:040:27:09

-Is there a manager here?

-I am the manager, unfortunately, for Coast.

0:27:090:27:13

You're a brilliant manager. You've been superb.

0:27:130:27:17

-I wouldn't say it's the one.

-Definitely.

0:27:180:27:22

-I thought it would look better, didn't you?

-Yeah.

0:27:220:27:25

-What are they doing, anyway?

-It could look nicer.

-Yes.

0:27:250:27:30

How do you feel?

0:27:330:27:36

-Um... Not what we thought they'd be like.

-Not terrible.

0:27:370:27:42

-I quite like them.

-Do you?

-Mm-hm.

0:27:420:27:44

And it's what Patrick thinks that counts.

0:27:440:27:48

I love that red(!) Horrendous!

0:27:480:27:50

To convince the girls, he digs deep and unearths his inner style guru.

0:27:500:27:54

-If you just hold it. Looks like flowers.

-No, it looks like a dress.

0:27:540:27:59

With some accessories, you'll be OK.

0:27:590:28:01

Now he's swapping the pink sash for white. Whatever next?

0:28:010:28:06

Is there a florist in here? I just need flowers.

0:28:060:28:09

-Is he for real?

-Are they gonna be that long?

-No, that's just what I could find. That's a done deal.

0:28:120:28:18

For the first time ever, he has to pay the full price.

0:28:180:28:22

Ouch!

0:28:220:28:24

He's feeling the pain.

0:28:270:28:30

And so is Emma.

0:28:310:28:33

She's called in maid of honour Alicia for crisis talks.

0:28:330:28:38

Her mum is not coping with the way Emma and Patrick have decided to get married.

0:28:380:28:43

She's kind of cut herself off from the wedding. I'm her only daughter and it must be hard for her

0:28:430:28:49

to suddenly just not have any input into the only wedding she'd be able to have an input, but she can't.

0:28:490:28:56

At the same time, she should just be happy that we're getting married and we have a chance to be married.

0:28:560:29:03

Emma's mum may have cut herself off from the wedding,

0:29:030:29:08

but Patrick still needs to ask her for the family guest list.

0:29:080:29:12

Hey, Heidi. It's Patrick. Hi, how's it going?

0:29:120:29:17

Before I can let people know dates and times, we've got to get invitations done. I need a list.

0:29:170:29:23

But Heidi doesn't want to discuss anything with her future son-in-law.

0:29:230:29:28

If you give me... If you...

0:29:280:29:31

Look, all right, then. Cheers. Thanks. Bye.

0:29:310:29:35

I don't think Emma's mum is dealing too well with not knowing details.

0:29:400:29:45

Every bride's mum wants to know what's going on with their daughter's wedding.

0:29:450:29:50

Patrick isn't flavour of the month with Emma's mum or the bridesmaids,

0:29:500:29:56

but he's hoping to win them over with the hen day he's organised.

0:29:560:30:01

-He puts in a call to Alice.

-So I've booked a hen day for Emma.

0:30:010:30:06

It's a spa day at a local hotel, but there seems to be some confusion.

0:30:060:30:10

No, no, no, it's not going into the evening.

0:30:100:30:15

In terms of Emma going out and getting paralytic, she's not really like that anyway.

0:30:150:30:22

He doesn't like me drinking, really. I don't think any man does.

0:30:220:30:26

I think I've done the best thing.

0:30:260:30:30

Emma knows Patrick won't plan a big night out for her hen do.

0:30:330:30:37

So she's taking matters into her own hands.

0:30:370:30:41

-I think we should all wear sashes.

-That's a hen party.

-Oh, my God.

0:30:420:30:47

I think I do deserve one good last party before the wedding.

0:30:500:30:55

I am allowed to have one last night of just being silly and being with my girls

0:30:550:31:01

and doing a girly hen night thing.

0:31:010:31:04

-I think that looks so cool.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

0:31:040:31:08

We might as well just go all out.

0:31:080:31:11

With a healthy four grand left in his budget, bargain hunter Patrick takes to the streets of Horsham

0:31:180:31:24

to bag himself some fair game.

0:31:240:31:27

First in his sights, two wedding rings

0:31:270:31:32

and a bracelet for his bride.

0:31:320:31:34

-Are you fixed on the price?

-Yeah.

0:31:360:31:39

But 20 minutes later...

0:31:390:31:42

he's got himself a 15% discount.

0:31:420:31:45

-Instead of the 15, if you could give me 25.

-40 minutes on, his perseverance isn't paying off.

0:31:450:31:53

Time for a change of tack - maybe he can get Emma's ring engraved for free.

0:31:530:31:59

I'd like "Property of Patrick" on!

0:32:020:32:04

Lucky girl(!)

0:32:040:32:06

The price started at £750.

0:32:060:32:10

After an hour and six minutes, he's batted it down to £600.

0:32:100:32:14

That's a grand saving of £150!

0:32:160:32:19

Maybe the florist can convince him to part with his pennies.

0:32:220:32:26

He wants the works - bouquets, table decorations and buttonholes.

0:32:260:32:31

What is the best price that you could do that to us for?

0:32:310:32:35

-Probably in the region of £800-£1,000 plus.

-£800,000?!

0:32:350:32:40

Steady on, Patrick! It's £800 TO £1,000.

0:32:400:32:44

30 minutes later and a whole lot of love from Patrick

0:32:450:32:50

and he's sealed the deal at £380,

0:32:500:32:53

a boombastic saving of £420!

0:32:530:32:57

-Next to be caught in his crosshairs is the transport for his bride to be.

-Let's get down to business.

0:32:590:33:06

The price starts at £450.

0:33:060:33:09

-Would you be prepared to give me this car for £298 on the day?

-No.

-Or roughly what is the value?

0:33:100:33:18

The lowest price is 350.

0:33:180:33:20

10 minutes later...

0:33:200:33:22

320 as it's only one way.

0:33:220:33:25

Patrick's clinched the deal at £320!

0:33:250:33:29

A masterful saving of £130.

0:33:290:33:31

Penny-pinching Patrick isn't even spending any money on himself.

0:33:360:33:41

He's wearing his work suit to the wedding and taking his best men to the sales.

0:33:410:33:48

I really like it.

0:33:480:33:51

The starting price for two suits in the sale - £365.

0:33:510:33:56

£249 on the dot.

0:33:570:34:00

-365.

-This time his charm isn't working.

0:34:010:34:06

I think you've met your match. He knows how to say no to you.

0:34:070:34:12

The final price is £365.

0:34:120:34:16

That's a total saving...

0:34:160:34:18

of zero pounds!

0:34:180:34:21

That's a rip off, that is! I'm only winding you up, mate.

0:34:210:34:25

While Patrick's haggling and hugging his way to his perfect wedding,

0:34:270:34:32

-Emma and the boys are counting down the days until Daddy's home.

-I miss Daddy a lot.

0:34:320:34:38

Me, too. A lot, a lot.

0:34:380:34:40

Do you know what getting married means to Mummy and Daddy? Do you know why people get married?

0:34:400:34:46

So you can stay together for ever.

0:34:460:34:50

And you can... And you love each other.

0:34:500:34:54

And you don't fight ever again.

0:34:540:34:56

Aww, that's so special. That's exactly right.

0:34:560:35:00

OK, bedtime. ..Up! Up, up, up!

0:35:000:35:05

-OK?

-Love you.

0:35:050:35:07

I love you, I love you, I love you.

0:35:090:35:12

-Night-night!

-Night-night!

0:35:120:35:15

Night! Love you!

0:35:160:35:18

After two weeks of relentless wedding planning,

0:35:210:35:25

it's time for something a bit more macho -

0:35:250:35:29

Patrick's stag do!

0:35:290:35:33

Coming from Africa, you enjoy this. Reminds me of my childhood.

0:35:360:35:41

His childhood was possibly a long time ago.

0:35:440:35:48

I thought it was probably a good idea after some wedding planning to do something more manly.

0:35:480:35:55

While Patrick is playing Tarzan, Emma and the girls are getting pampered on the girly hen day.

0:35:570:36:04

Pull!

0:36:120:36:13

-yeah, I'm gunning for a good wedding!

-Bang for your buck.

-More bang for your buck!

0:36:130:36:19

-Fire!

-The word I need is "Pull".

0:36:210:36:25

-Fire.

-Well done.

0:36:250:36:28

I'm that good, boys. That good.

0:36:280:36:31

Fire.

0:36:310:36:34

Things aren't exactly going with a bang on Emma's hen.

0:36:370:36:41

Her mum, Heidi, is still feeling left out of the wedding and the atmosphere has turned sour.

0:36:410:36:49

# It's, oh, so quiet... #

0:36:510:36:53

This has been a really emotional, traumatic time for her, not having any involvement in anything.

0:36:570:37:03

That is so silent!

0:37:070:37:09

# And so peaceful until...

0:37:090:37:14

# You blow a fuse, zing boom

0:37:150:37:19

# The devil cuts loose, zing boom

0:37:190:37:22

# So what's the use... #

0:37:220:37:26

I think she'll get over it one day, but she's still... She's still quite hurt about it.

0:37:260:37:33

So I just have to leave her to deal with it.

0:37:330:37:37

Of course, Emma doesn't have any say in her wedding either

0:37:370:37:41

and, five days before the big day, the pressure of not knowing anything is starting to get to her.

0:37:410:37:47

People keep asking me, "Are you really excited?" Well, no, not really.

0:37:470:37:53

I'm not having anything to do with it. I feel really...lost.

0:37:530:37:57

She's not the only one who's lost. Patrick's trying to buy her undies.

0:37:570:38:02

Is Shapeless a bra?

0:38:030:38:06

Shapeless?

0:38:060:38:08

-Never heard of that before.

-I need a Shapeless... Strapless!

0:38:080:38:13

We have nothing in nice bridal colours unless you want to buy her something for after the wedding.

0:38:130:38:19

I'll be too drunk. Got two kids already!

0:38:190:38:23

-Anything else you'd like to buy? Any sexy items?

-Aww, no.

0:38:230:38:28

-What do you think he's done?

-Is he out with the boys?

0:38:280:38:32

What's that?

0:38:340:38:37

Emma's still stressing about Anthony's involvement.

0:38:370:38:40

He's a bad influence. He makes Patrick do things he'd never dream of doing.

0:38:400:38:47

He's just not my favourite person.

0:38:490:38:51

What about this?

0:38:510:38:53

That hurt, mate!

0:38:530:38:56

-Thank you for your help.

-£14.

-Thank you.

-He's clearly too embarrassed to haggle HERE.

0:38:560:39:02

Fortunately for Emma, her friends organise her a hen night to remember.

0:39:040:39:10

Cinderella shall go to the ball after all.

0:39:100:39:14

# That tonight's gonna be a good night

0:39:150:39:19

# That tonight's gonna be a good night

0:39:190:39:23

# That tonight's gonna be a good, good night

0:39:230:39:28

# Tonight's the night Let's live it up

0:39:280:39:31

# I got my money Let's spend it up

0:39:310:39:35

# Go out and smash it Like oh my God

0:39:350:39:39

# Look at her dancing Just take it off! #

0:39:390:39:43

Emma's all danced out, but hasn't forgotten who should have planned this.

0:39:430:39:48

-Is this the hen night you wanted?

-Yeah, it's really fun.

0:39:480:39:53

Do you reckon Patrick could have organised the hen day like this?

0:39:530:39:57

Yeah. Hic!

0:39:570:40:00

For a bride who knows nothing about her big day, a glimmer of hope.

0:40:010:40:06

What is this? Oh, my God. Is this the invite to my own wedding?

0:40:060:40:12

Oh, my God. It actually is. Do I open it?

0:40:120:40:16

Open it!

0:40:160:40:18

I actually feel sick. "Mr and Mrs Kevin Clemence request the pleasure of the company of Emma

0:40:180:40:24

-"at the marriage of their daughter with Patrick McDonogh."

-Patrick's included Emma's parents on it.

0:40:240:40:32

-It could earn him Brownie points with her mum.

-"Dress code - smart.

0:40:320:40:37

"Bring swimwear"?!

0:40:370:40:39

What the hell...?!

0:40:390:40:41

What is he doing?

0:40:420:40:44

Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Patrick. Come in.

0:40:440:40:48

Patrick's not going to risk looking like a fool at his nuptials.

0:40:480:40:52

He's coughing up for a choreographer to teach him a first dance.

0:40:520:40:56

-Bring him in.

-You're doing me a big favour.

0:40:560:41:00

You're going to be the girl. All it is is footwork. You do nothing up here at all.

0:41:000:41:06

-Forward.

-Yeah.

-Step.

-Yeah.

0:41:060:41:09

Forward.

0:41:090:41:10

One, two, three.

0:41:100:41:13

Right, together. Right.

0:41:130:41:16

Back, together, back.

0:41:160:41:19

OK.

0:41:190:41:20

-Does it sort of make sense?

-No.

0:41:200:41:22

Oh, mate, this doesn't feel right.

0:41:220:41:25

-Right, together, right.

-Yeah.

0:41:250:41:28

Together.

0:41:280:41:30

Left, together, left.

0:41:300:41:34

Forward, together. Forward, together.

0:41:340:41:37

Right, together.

0:41:370:41:39

Right, back.

0:41:390:41:41

Left, together. Left, together.

0:41:410:41:44

Getting hot now, getting sweaty.

0:42:080:42:10

It's the day before the wedding and Emma's about to see the dress that Patrick has picked for her

0:42:130:42:19

for the first time.

0:42:190:42:21

The groom knows exactly what is at stake.

0:42:210:42:25

Today's the day when Emma says, "I'm getting married or I'm not". It all depends on the dress.

0:42:250:42:31

Emma's mum has finally come round and is there to support her,

0:42:310:42:36

but will the dress Patrick has chosen measure up to Emma's Cinderella number?

0:42:360:42:42

I'm actually shaking.

0:42:500:42:52

-Emma, are you ready for me to show you the dress?

-Yeah.

-Or will it be her worst nightmare?

0:42:520:42:58

Hideous!

0:42:580:43:00

Is that my size? It looks way too big.

0:43:100:43:14

-He bought a size 14.

-I'm a size 8!

0:43:150:43:19

-They do come up really small.

-That's...

-Try it on and see.

0:43:190:43:24

It's not going to fit. I can't believe he bought a size 14.

0:43:250:43:30

-Emma, don't worry about that. That will all be sorted.

-It won't.

0:43:300:43:35

Will she like it on?

0:43:350:43:37

Oh, Em!

0:43:390:43:41

Darling, it's gorgeous.

0:43:430:43:46

I love it. It's so beautiful.

0:43:460:43:48

Oh, that looks lovely.

0:43:490:43:52

That's better.

0:43:520:43:54

Oh, my God. It's so nice.

0:43:550:43:57

I just love it. It actually suits me.

0:43:570:44:01

-Can you do alterations in that short amount of time?

-Yeah. But there is going to be a charge.

-OK.

0:44:010:44:07

Hi, Patrick. Listen, Pat, the dress has got to be altered.

0:44:070:44:13

And it's going to be £60.

0:44:130:44:15

-So that's fine.

-Patrick's agreed to pay for the alterations without daring to ask for a discount.

0:44:170:44:23

I think Patrick's got it spot on. It's beautiful.

0:44:250:44:29

It's not what I'd have chosen, but I love it so much.

0:44:300:44:34

He has avoided the princess dress. Maybe it's a good thing.

0:44:340:44:39

The other one seems a bit tacky and a bit Jordan-like.

0:44:390:44:45

So I'm actually so glad that he steered well away from that.

0:44:450:44:50

It's taken three weeks and cost £12,000, but the day Emma's waited 10 years for has finally arrived.

0:44:550:45:03

Oh, I'm feeling so excited now. I just want to put my dress on.

0:45:030:45:08

Patrick has organised a special delivery for his bride.

0:45:100:45:15

Oh, my God! He's got me...

0:45:150:45:17

What has he got you?

0:45:170:45:20

Hold ups.

0:45:200:45:22

Pants!

0:45:220:45:24

-What size are they?

-They're my size.

-Really nice.

0:45:280:45:33

She's clearly overwhelmed by her underwear. Will the brown bridesmaid dresses impress her as much?

0:45:330:45:40

Oh, my gosh!

0:45:400:45:43

I didn't expect brown. As I said, I hate earthy colours, but look how beautiful it is.

0:45:430:45:49

I love them. You look so pretty, all of you.

0:45:490:45:52

It's the final countdown and a buttonhole is getting the better of Patrick.

0:45:520:45:59

How the hell do you do this without two pins?

0:45:590:46:03

-Three, two, one, hoorah!

-Hoorah! You're getting married, man!

0:46:070:46:12

The time has arrived for Emma to show her family the dress Patrick picked for her.

0:46:130:46:19

OK, ready?

0:46:230:46:25

Oh, my God!

0:46:280:46:30

Emma, you look amazing! Amazing!

0:46:300:46:34

God, I'm actually shaking.

0:46:400:46:43

-Oh, no, my tail!

-Oh, dear. Now is not the time for a wardrobe malfunction.

0:46:430:46:48

-I can feel my hairpiece falling out.

-It won't fall out.

0:46:480:46:53

It's got clips all round it.

0:46:530:46:56

-It already looks crap, my hair.

-It looks amazing.

0:46:560:47:00

-No, this bit looks rubbish.

-Chill out.

0:47:000:47:04

BLEEP.

0:47:060:47:08

Oh, BLEEP.

0:47:080:47:10

It looks amazing. Don't get stressed.

0:47:100:47:13

-It's not falling off.

-I don't want to wear that.

-You have to.

-I don't.

0:47:130:47:18

This is going to ruin everything.

0:47:180:47:21

-It'll stay in if you just...

-As soon as someone touches me, it's going to fall out.

0:47:210:47:28

Talk about Bridezilla!

0:47:280:47:31

When things don't go my way, like this stupid veil...

0:47:310:47:35

I hate it.

0:47:350:47:38

Oh, my God, Dad.

0:47:440:47:47

-Wow.

-It's like...

0:47:470:47:49

Oh, wow! Look at that car.

0:47:510:47:53

-Phew! Saved by the car.

-See you later!

0:47:530:47:58

Where's the bridesmaids?

0:48:120:48:14

-Emma's heart was set on a traditional church wedding, but there's no church.

-Oh, my God.

0:48:140:48:21

But everyone's outside.

0:48:210:48:24

It's 16 degrees and her civil ceremony is outdoors, but she doesn't seem to mind.

0:48:240:48:30

It's so amazing. Look at it. Oh, my gosh!

0:48:300:48:34

-I'm really scared. ..Shall I take my chewing gum out?

-Yes!

0:48:370:48:42

Yes, Em.

0:48:420:48:43

Patrick,

0:49:010:49:04

will you take Emma to be your wife?

0:49:040:49:06

-To be loving and loyal to her for the rest of your life?

-I will.

0:49:060:49:11

Will you take Patrick to be your husband? To be loving and loyal to him for the rest of your life?

0:49:110:49:17

I will.

0:49:170:49:19

I give you this ring as a sign of my love and commitment.

0:49:220:49:27

I promise to support and comfort you, to respect and cherish you, and to be faithful always.

0:49:270:49:33

It does fit! That was lucky.

0:49:340:49:37

What does your one say?

0:49:370:49:39

"Property of Emma McDonogh"!

0:49:390:49:42

I give you this ring as my sign of my love and commitment.

0:49:480:49:52

I promise to support and comfort you, to respect and cherish you and to be faithful always.

0:49:520:49:59

-Is that it?

-Yeah. That's it.

0:49:590:50:02

-I now pronounce you husband and wife.

-Oh, my God.

-Thank you. Thank you.

-I've missed you.

0:50:080:50:14

-I missed you, too.

-You've done so brilliantly.

0:50:140:50:18

Whoa!

0:50:230:50:25

Walk slowly, Emma. You've got to walk slowly.

0:50:260:50:30

Sean, thank you so much.

0:50:330:50:37

Wonderful. And once again!

0:50:380:50:41

Just give your wife a little kiss. Mark him out of ten!

0:50:410:50:45

-Everything you've done is just not what I would have done, but I love it.

-Good. I'm glad.

0:50:450:50:52

I think he's done her proud. From the dress to the car to the venue, everything.

0:50:520:50:58

Emma's so bowled over that she even has a few kind words to say to the best man

0:51:000:51:05

-she has spent years hating.

-I'm sorry that I'm such a horrible old bitch to you.

0:51:050:51:11

-You haven't...

-I have been! Just past experiences, I didn't know how to deal with it.

0:51:110:51:17

I'm sorry. You've done amazingly. I appreciate everything you've done for Patrick. You've been there.

0:51:170:51:24

-Group hug!

-Don't touch my hair!

-Group hug.

0:51:240:51:28

You know, me and Emma have had a chat and things are just...

0:51:280:51:32

It's made it a lot easier. That meant a hell of a lot to me.

0:51:320:51:36

-So this is the room.

-Oh, my God!

-Do you like it? Do you approve?

0:51:380:51:43

-You and Anthony did this?

-Yeah.

0:51:430:51:45

Oh, bless him.

0:51:450:51:47

Patrick, this is so...beautiful.

0:51:470:51:51

Patrick's been so focused on not busting his budget, he's made a wedding planning faux pas.

0:51:510:51:57

The table plan and my speech aren't done. I'm sorry. Sean?

0:51:570:52:01

-Just stop.

-Just say where Mummy's to go.

0:52:010:52:05

-Let's tell the people who's at this table.

-There's no plan for this table.

0:52:050:52:11

Sorry, guys. Randolph, Louise and Clive.

0:52:110:52:15

Miranda? Don't know where she is.

0:52:150:52:18

Louise and Clive?

0:52:180:52:20

Sorry, sorry. Heidi, Clem, my mum, my dad.

0:52:200:52:25

I've put you guys with Alice. Can I move you to this table?

0:52:280:52:32

I can put you guys here. I'm so sorry, man.

0:52:320:52:36

17 minutes later, everyone's finally seated.

0:52:380:52:43

But then they have to get up again and queue for the barbecue.

0:52:440:52:48

-Come with Mummy.

-You guys can come and get something to eat.

0:52:480:52:53

And that includes the bride in all her finery.

0:52:530:52:57

I just want some chicken.

0:52:590:53:03

-You just want chicken.

-That way.

0:53:050:53:07

Where's Emma gone?

0:53:070:53:09

Patrick is a unique person. If you don't know him, spend 5 minutes with him and let me know.

0:53:270:53:34

I've never had a person turn around and say a negative word about my brother to me. Thank you.

0:53:340:53:41

APPLAUSE

0:53:410:53:43

# Oh, oh, oh, it's magic... #

0:53:460:53:50

Patrick's South African pool party finally gets into full swing.

0:53:500:53:55

It's quite cold, but... It's freezing!

0:53:550:53:59

Will the bride be joining them?

0:53:590:54:01

I'm not putting a bikini on on in my wedding. I'm not taking this dress off.

0:54:010:54:07

I'm NOT going in there.

0:54:070:54:10

Even Patrick can't control the weather.

0:54:110:54:14

But all of a sudden he's the man of the moment with Emma's mum Heidi.

0:54:140:54:19

-Say that again, Heidi! You just want to say what?

-Don't push your luck, Patrick!

0:54:190:54:25

It started with a "th".

0:54:250:54:27

-Sorry?

-Thank you.

-It started with a "sorry"!

0:54:270:54:32

Listen, you've got my daughter out of this. Look after her. I know you love her.

0:54:320:54:37

-We love you, too.

-Thanks, Heidi.

0:54:370:54:40

Ladies and gentlemen, give a big round of applause for Emma and Patrick!

0:54:400:54:46

The groom's keen to show his bride that he no longer has two left feet.

0:54:480:54:53

You didn't want the whole thing at a castle or a manor house?

0:54:590:55:04

-I wouldn't turn it down, but this is beautiful.

-Better?

-Yeah.

0:55:040:55:09

It's more comfortable.

0:55:090:55:11

Yeah, it's been a great day. Patrick's done a top job.

0:55:140:55:19

He's done everything Emma would want. And everyone else as well.

0:55:190:55:23

I was a bit harsh on everybody.

0:55:230:55:26

But he did an excellent job. A fantastic job.

0:55:260:55:30

He's married me, finally, after all these years. We finally tied the knot. Husband and wife.

0:55:320:55:40

I definitely have married the right man.

0:55:410:55:45

I always knew I would marry you. You're the one.

0:55:450:55:48

A big round of applause - Emma and Patrick!

0:55:480:55:52

As a final touch, Patrick's thrown caution to the wind and spent £150...

0:55:550:56:01

of his own money...to pay for the surprise entertainment.

0:56:010:56:06

South African gumboot dancers!

0:56:060:56:10

CHANTING

0:56:150:56:17

THEY SING

0:56:200:56:22

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:56:470:56:51

Email [email protected]

0:56:510:56:55

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