Jonny and Ayca Don't Tell the Bride

Childhood sweethearts Jonny and Ayca are mad about each other.

She's my life. I love her to bits.

Ayca is desperate to get married but has big dreams for her big day.

"It's all right" is not good enough for me. "It's perfect" is what I need.

And perfection comes at a price that bar manager Jonny can't afford.

Just getting finances together would be a struggle.

Me personally, I have no savings.

So we're giving them £12,000 towards their big day.

Thank you. We'll just pick 12 things and each thing costs a grand.

But there's one big catch.

Control freak Ayca has agreed in the presence of a lawyer to let Jonny organise the wedding all by himself.

You do not tell a soul.

Three weeks apart will push their relationship to the limit.

I really want him to feel really bad for this.

Will party animal Jonny get his priorities in order?

Forget about the venues. Let's get the stag sorted.

Will he remember it's not his best man he's marrying?

Ayca will be livid.

She just doesn't understand how we work.

Will he run out of money and why?

I don't even know how much we've got left. I have no idea.

Can this man give this woman a day to remember?

Oh, what is my wedding going to be like?

Today, 23-year-old teaching assistant Ayca

is moving out of the south London flat

she shares with 24-year-old Jonny.

I'm excited about being in charge for a change.

With Ayca usually the one that's pulling the strings,

I think it's going to be good to let the reins go and let me run wild.

The couple met at school in Belfast seven years ago.

Ayca's been in charge ever since.

Jonny, you can't wear that.

'I am a control freak.'

I'm always in control

of anything that I can be in control of.

-You will rinse around the sink, won't you?

-Yes.

She treats Jonny like a child, often.

Let's see.

That means cleaning up after him and taking care of their finances.

I make things happen.

I make things fun.

Joining in the fun is his workmate, Jim, who'll be Jonny's best man.

Jim's one of the best guys I've ever worked with.

They are so close, Jonny has even allowed Jim to move into the couple's one-bedroom flat.

Jim. Oh my God, Jim, please can you cover up. It's my living room.

He's no problem. He cleans up after himself.

Look at the state of this. Your cigarettes, your flipping glasses.

-You chucked my stuff everywhere!

-Look at the way you've chucked everything everywhere here.

Put those on, now.

Apparently I'm not allowed to live here when they're married.

Basically it's a race against time for me to try and win Jonny's heart.

I'm very worried about Jim completely leading Jonny astray.

Oh, hello! Thank you very much!

But Jonny's determined that won't happen.

If I've done something wrong, I'm dead. She will not go through with it. I know it.

The time has come for Jonny and Ayca to say their goodbyes as she heads back to Northern Ireland.

You'll be fine, honestly.

It will fly by.

The biggest day of Ayca's life is now in Jonny's hands.

HE EXHALES SHARPLY

I just can't believe that the next time I see him is going to be on my wedding day.

And not only that, but I have no idea what my wedding day is going to be and neither does he.

Jonny does know one thing.

He wants the wedding to be in Belfast, so he books two tickets on the next available flight.

Four words - you're going to Belfast.

Unbeknown to Ayca, Jonny and Jim will also be in Belfast

hoping to sort out her wedding in just five days.

Have you got your passport 100%?

-Yes.

-OK, go, go, go.

-Have you?

-Hang on a tick.

Yeah, exactly.

Hello.

-Ayca arrives at her mum's, where she will be spending the next three weeks.

-Welcome home.

They emigrated to Belfast from Turkey when she was just 10 years old.

So all the responsibility lies on poor Jonny.

THEY LAUGH

You know that he's never, ever, in his whole life faced anything like this before?

While organising the wedding will be tough for Jonny, getting married at all is a massive step for Ayca.

Both my parents have been divorced twice, so my idea of marriage has never been very positive.

But I'm doing this because I know that I'm going to prove all my past ideas of marriage wrong.

And I know for a fact this is right for us.

Across town, only child Jonny has arrived at his mum and dad's house with Jim.

And he's already on the scrounge.

-Mum?

-Yeah.

-Have you any cash on you?

It's like, welcome home.

How long did it take you, 10 minutes

to get money out of us?

We've spoiled you. That's the problem.

But, look at you, you're gorgeous.

They may be hitting the town, but Jonny and Jim haven't entirely forgotten why they are here.

To the wedding.

-To Ayca.

-Ayca, good man.

It's Saturday morning and after less than 24 hours apart,

Ayca's already wondering how Jonny is coping.

I think...

Jonny wouldn't have got much sleep last night from worrying about everything he needs to do.

I'd be very surprised if he wasn't feeling as depressed and...

lost as me.

Jonny IS suffering.

But not in the way Ayca imagines.

Morning.

-Morning.

-Morning.

I don't think Ayca would be too happy if she knew that the first

thing we did was go out on the town as soon as we got back to Belfast.

-Ayca would be livid.

-She just doesn't understand how we work.

So that's what you call it.

Still, when the boys finally surface at midday, they've regrouped and have got their priorities sorted.

Forget about the venues. Let's just get the stag sorted.

My idea is there's a sports centre and we go there, do go-karting, paint balling, football, whatever.

We'll get everything sorted, so I don't think getting

the stag do out the way is a bad idea really.

Plus it's going to be the best night of our lives.

Silly me, I thought the wedding was supposed to be the best night.

-But Ayca and chief bridesmaid Cath know Jonny too well.

-It would have been one of the things...

It will be the first thing he'll do.

But what if he wastes all his money on the stag do?

He probably thinks he can spend a few hundred, or maybe even 500 on a stag do, which I hope...

No, surely not.

Yeah, 50 times 12 is 600 quid.

Then we just need to get a carry out and some food.

With flights for two friends and a ton of booze thrown in,

Jonny spends a grand of his budget in no time.

Not that he's worried.

I've never had 12 grand in my hand before. I'm thinking it's gonna be surprising

if I spend six or something.

I don't know. I don't think I can spend that money so quickly.

But he'd better spend it wisely, as his fiancee has high expectations.

My perfect wedding would be

grand, elegant and unique.

Jonny's got some grand ideas of his own.

We'll just do everything in a grand.

We'll just pick 12 things and each thing costs a grand.

What 12 things do you want to be a grand?

I don't know yet but we've just done the stag in, what, 15 minutes?

Right, let's get on to venues.

But, even with their "everything for a grand" master plan, they quickly

discover that it's not easy to find a venue at short notice.

-Hello, is this...?

-'Hello?'

-Hello.

-'Hello.'

-Hello, can you hear me?

-'Hello.'

-Hi, can you hear me?

-'Hello.'

-Hello...

-'Hello.'

-Hello, can you hear me?

SILENCE

-It's all right.

-It's not going all right.

You've not even spoken to any real people.

The boys spend two fruitless hours on the phone, but then Jim has a brainwave.

We just need to make our own...

Make our own venue, whatever. Just do something different.

Like, in a garden?

-Yeah.

-And put a what-you-call-it, up.

A tent.

That's the new plan.

But, for Jonny and Jim, a tent doesn't mean a classic white marquee. Oh, no.

There it is.

100 people plus, it'll be a squeeze.

-That's not it, is it?

-Is that not it?

No. That's a little tepee.

That IS a small tepee.

And this is an enormous castle.

Belfast Castle is Ayca's dream wedding venue.

It looks like a fairy-tale setting, doesn't it?

It looks over Belfast as well.

It's very symbolic of where me and Jonny met.

-It's beautiful.

-It's got the stairs that I always go on about as well.

You could arrive like a princess.

Everybody's heads turn.

Ayca's grand staircase entrance would be tricky in a tepee.

Even a giant Nordic one.

That's a set up there of three of our giant hats linked together.

Each one of those will seat 70 people.

-It looks pretty awesome.

-It does look good.

They really do give you a wow factor.

They might blow the guests away but the price will certainly blow Jonny's budget.

With two tents, you'll be looking at £4,500.

-And that's only for two.

-That's for two.

They would cost him a third of his funds and he'd still have to pay

for somewhere to pitch them, as well as catering, a bar and decoration.

I think this could be either a really amazing decision or a stupid decision

by blowing all my money on a tent. At the moment, this is the number-one choice out of one.

Jonny only has one other place to see, Brownlow House, an altogether more traditional wedding venue.

-What did you think?

-Stunning, absolutely stunning.

Known locally as Lurgan Castle,

this grand building would definitely be Ayca's cup of tea.

I really like it. It's awesome.

You could just imagine everyone here and then Ayca coming down the stairs.

Back at Belfast Castle, it's as if Jonny has read Ayca's mind.

It's so right.

I can just see me in my beautiful dress

coming down these stairs.

To say I got married in a castle...

just gives me the shivers thinking about it.

The idea of getting married in a castle is also starting to seduce Jonny.

This is quite a grand idea, you know what I mean?

Top table, and yes, it's quite traditional but there's no room for error.

You could do this very well.

Is this a safe option or is it a really good option to go for something like this?

It's definitely safe.

And the price makes it even more attractive.

To hire the whole castle for the day is £1,000.

-And then what is it per head?

-£30 a head, includes a four course meal.

I really, really like the place. Lovely to meet you.

At £4,000 all in, it's 500 quid cheaper and a whole lot less hassle than two empty tepees,

which he still has nowhere to pitch.

There's four grand, you've got your catering, your venue.

That means you've got a load more money to not skimp on other things.

Also, I'm not joking you, if the weather's like this with the marquee,

it'll be rubbish. I guarantee it.

Imagine Ayca crying when she wakes up in the morning

to realise that it's raining on her wedding day and then she realises she's going to be in a tent.

Surely it's a no-brainer,

but Jonny can't resist a call back to Ed at the tepee company.

It's very tempting because it's very safe because he's only going

to charge a grand and the food would cost another three-and-a-half on top of that, but I'm still...

-'I don't think you're the safe type, my friend.'

-He's a dealer.

'I tell you what we've managed to come up with

'is Rowallane, one of the National Trust properties.

-'They can do the ceremony and a licence...'

-Right.

'And they've also got somewhere that I can put my tepees up.

'And I don't think they're looking for a huge amount of money.

-'I can do it...'

-'Three.

-'I can do it...'

-Three.

-Three and a half?

-'For four for you.'

-You're a star, thanks very much, mate.

-'OK, guys. No problem.'

-Love you, Ed.

Yeah, you know, but we could get all this for four grand. I don't know.

We'll check this Rowallane place out then.

It would be amazing if you get a tent.

But it's a risky business.

If it's raining, it'll be freezing.

Surely not even Jim could persuade a Jonny it's a good idea to have an outdoor wedding in rainy Belfast.

So, this is what we call the outer walled garden

that would be spectacular for your wedding ceremony.

It's amazing. What are you thinking?

I like it. But I'm thinking cost, this is going to be big time.

Hiring the venue on top of the tepees would be costly

but at least Rowallane can accommodate the giant Nordic tents.

This would be the area where your tepees would be, so with the trees, it would look spectacular.

Me and my bride can come round to the Pleasure Ground.

It's decision time for Jonny and his trusty sidekick.

Do you gamble or do you play safe?

-Gamble.

-Yeah, you gamble for a little bit more glory

but at the end of the day, there's a risk that it could all go wrong.

This is brilliant. This is gold dust. I guarantee this is what she wants.

I do really like the gardens. It's a brilliant venue but price is the big issue.

From the spaces that we did actually look at, that normally would be sitting at 1,700

but I'd be able to drop back to 1,100 for you and also you get me thrown in for the day as well.

-Yeah, we've got a venue then.

-Sorted.

Let's have a group hug.

So, Jonny has rejected the all-inclusive four-grand castle

and spent five grand on two tents, a garden and a glamorous assistant.

The boys still have everything else to arrange.

-Brilliant.

-Except, of course, the stag.

Let's go and get smashed.

The first part of Jonny's stag involves burning rubber

and a few hundred quid on the go-kart track.

First casualty of the night is Jonny's dad.

Sore ribs and car sick.

Bring on the paintball, that's what I say.

HE SHOUTS

They're killing us, they're killing us!

Then the budget takes another direct hit, on the paintball range, where

second casualty of the mad, Jim, proudly displays his war wounds.

It's cost £1,000 but Jonny's not worried.

Money well spent.

Today, the boys head back to London.

During their five-day trip to Belfast, they've spent over six grand

but have only got a venue and a hangover to show for it.

Jonny doesn't plan on coming back until five days before the wedding.

But he's not worried.

He doesn't really know about running there, he's just wandering along there, you know?

He's not got my sense of urgency.

Organising a Belfast wedding from London won't be easy

and the boys will need to be on top of their game if they want to please the perfectionist bride.

I'll be very disappointed if my big day doesn't turn out to be the big day that I want.

It needs to be very obvious that he's literally spent every moment thinking

and fretting and stressing about the wedding day.

This penalty is going to be a sign about the wedding.

If it goes in, we're going to have a good wedding.

If it misses, the wedding is going to be shit.

It's going to be a good wedding!

Done. Sorted.

Jonny's reliance on luck

is in stark contrast to his meticulous fiancee's approached.

After they got engaged, she put together a PowerPoint presentation of her dream day.

It's quite a special thing, I think, to be marrying a Turkish girl.

I'm proud to be Turkish and I'd hate that to be forgotten on my big day.

-It's a bit of your heritage, of who you are.

-Exactly.

I want a trendy, but romantic and elegant wedding.

Invites have got to match the theme of the wedding.

-It can't be a text message.

-Or a Facebook group or something.

Oh, my God!

Really, Ayca, who on earth would invite guests to their wedding on Facebook?

You can send the invites through Facebook.

Jonny would.

That means I won't have to post things.

We're going to give this a go.

We're trying to do video invites with me and Jim, featuring Peter Andre as the music, just for a laugh.

-What song is it?

-Mysterious Girl.

# Baby girl

# I said, tonight is your lucky night

# Peter Andre along with Bubbla Ranks on da mic

# I stop and stare at you Walking on the shore... #

It's not quite the classy, elegant invite that Ayca had envisaged.

But Jonny's not worried.

That's uploaded, send it out to everyone.

They'll watch it, they'll love it.

Invites done, money saved, job is in the bag.

With only 10 days to go before the wedding, the boys finally decide to

tackle their toughest challenge of all, choosing Ayca's wedding dress.

This is the most important decision we're going to make for the wedding,

so we're taking this really seriously.

Right now, I'm feeling panicky.

It's a deal-breaker. If I don't get the dress at least...

If she doesn't like it, that's going to be a nightmare.

She's gonna have to sit there in it all day.

She doesn't get to take it off...

until later.

They've come to a top bridal boutique, just outside Richmond.

-So you're the groom.

-Yeah.

What have you been thinking about for your gorgeous girl to wear?

-No straps.

-No straps, OK.

Armed with that level of detail, Mr Perfect should have no problem.

My tactics for picking the dress, I'm not going to get it perfect

but I think I'm going to play it safe, that's what I'm going to do.

What do think about this?

I don't know.

-Would it help if I got a mannequin and we put some on the mannequin?

-What do you think?

Do you have a human model?

-Do you want to go out and try and find someone?

-Yeah, sure.

What, just off the street?

Suddenly, dress shopping doesn't seem quite so dull.

We'll find someone, we will.

I don't know whether this is for Jim's sake or mine,

so he can prove he can get a girl off the street to dress up for him.

Hold on a second. Hold on a second.

Jim shows he has a good head for figures.

Excuse me! Please, can you save my life?

And a gift for cheesy chat-up lines.

While Jim finds himself an Ayca-a-like, in Belfast, the real thing

has decided not to miss out on all the fun.

I quite like the ruffles of this. I like silky, floaty.

If I don't like what Jonny picks, it can potentially ruin my whole day.

Back in London, thanks to their new assistant,

the boys are beginning to enjoy dress shopping, especially Jim.

Oh, yes.

She looks beautiful.

-That's very nice.

-I'm starting to get a bit jealous you're getting married now, I don't know why.

-Why?

I don't know. I'm starting to feel marriage a bit more.

Maybe we could have a double wedding.

As Jim falls in love with Ayca's double, the real Ayca is falling hard too.

I love this!

Oh!

It's like something out of a movie.

She's been swept off her feet by a princess dress

with sweetheart neckline and floaty, sparkly, netted skirt.

So, now he's got something to compete with.

The boys have found a frock that's uncannily similar, it has straps

but is otherwise a dead ringer for Ayca's princess dress.

That's got a bigger wow factor.

I don't know, I like the other one.

I'm just being honest.

-I definitely like the other one more.

-Jonny isn't about to take a risk on

this decision and sends the princess dress back, opting to play it safe with a simple, slimline number.

It feels quite depressing.

It's just the fact that I can't have anything I really, really want.

So, £1,500 - dress, beads, shoes, deal?

-Perfect.

-I think that calls for a group hug.

-Perfect.

-That's what it's all about.

There are just eight days left before the wedding

-and while Jonny's managed a few phone calls...

-You've got a gun?

He still has the small matter of catering, flowers, rings,

cars and a photographer to organise.

The bachelor life is beginning to take its toll on both Jonny and the flat he usually shares with Ayca.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Ayca.

It's ridiculous how much I miss her. It's unbelievable.

Staying in this house is starting to really grind me down.

Just like living in a squat, in a pigsty.

# There's a rat in the kitchen what am I gonna do...? #

He needs to get out of the house.

Fortunately, he has plenty of reason to.

Today, Jonny is taking Ayca's bridesmaids shopping.

He doesn't have so much as a colour scheme in mind

so Natalie, Kath and Cheryl will have to wear whatever takes Jonny's fancy.

Hello!

The girls encourage Jonny to consider something a bit more elegant.

-Electric blue.

-What about that?

-That's so bridesmaid-y.

-160 quid.

Jonny has lost the plot. He said...

What was the budget, £80 a dress?

If they like it so much, get them to pay for it, is what I say.

Jonny heeds Jim's words of wisdom and finds a cheaper option.

Bargain-basement as well. They'll go well with the tent outside.

Like I'm a hippy.

What about one of these bad boys here?

That's for the head bridesmaid.

-It says wedding dress.

-Chief bridesmaid.

No, beaded wedding dress.

First rule of weddings, do not upstage the bride.

Are those bikinis?

All in all, the girls are not impressed.

You can't have a bridesmaid in a wedding dress.

This is absolutely hideous.

Ayca would not like that.

Definitely not. She'd cry.

No point spending a grand on dresses and not be able to get cars.

I don't know how much we've left.

-A good reason to get cheaper dresses then, isn't it?

-I know they'll come out in that blue one that's £250

and be like, "It's beautiful."

I want to see the other one first.

If you put the green linen one on and then put the white one on

because that would be the most suited to the venue.

Cool, man, cool.

Oh, my goodness.

I can see the hat.

Oh, that's the one.

-What's wrong with that?

-That's really nice.

Oh, please, don't put me in this, please. No!

Those are cheaper, but.

-Get them and go.

-No, come on, Jim.

No, please.

Look at their faces.

-Out of those or the blue ones, which ones?

-The blue ones.

-Yous can pay the difference, do think that's out of the question?

-I'd pay not to wear these.

Done.

Jonny cleverly persuades the girls to contribute 40 quid each.

Deal done.

So easy!

With a week ago, Jonny has arranged a mystery hen party for Ayca and flown her back to London.

While the boys are at work, Ayca decides to sneak a peek

at the flat to see just what they've been getting up to.

Oh, my God. Smell it.

Holy shit. Oh, my...

goodness.

Oh, my God!

Look at the amount of drink that's been drunk.

They're meant to be organising a wedding.

Surely they can't have enough time to have this much fun.

MUSIC: "Start Wearing Purple" by Gorgol Bordello

# Start wearing purple, wearing purple

-# La la la la la

-Start wearing purple for me now

# All your sanity and wits they will all vanish

# I promise, it's just a matter of time... #

Oh!

What have they been up to?

MOUTHS: # Start wearing purple for me no-oo-oo-oo-oo-w... #

Better get going then.

Seeing her home in such a state is too much for house-proud Ayca.

I really want him to feel really bad for this.

MUSIC: "Leave Right Now" by Will Young

# I think I better leave right now... #

It's been a sobering visit but Ayca is determined not to let it ruin her hen do.

She may not know where she'll be going or what she'll be doing

but Ayca is just glad to have her friends rally round.

This is what I needed, girls, thank you so much.

Our hen night is at least as important as their stag do

so the least I can expect is the budget to be the same or a wee bit more than what they had.

Jonny's stag cost a grand but he's only spending 300 quid on the love of his life.

Ayca meets her favourite girl and boy friends down at a local restaurant.

It's a sure fire way of getting back into her good books.

Everything Jonny has arranged for you, rose petals, candles.

ALL: Aww!

He's ticking all the boxes.

-Cheers, cheers.

-Cheers.

But Jonny has another Turkish trick up his sleeve to make it a special night for Ayca.

I've got your special dish that

Jonny has requested for you - manti.

Manti is Ayca's favourite food - a stuffed Turkish pasta.

We had to get a taxi for this, especially for you.

It's only found in a few places in England.

-Aw, that's amazing.

-Thank you.

That was the good news. But you've got some bad news now.

You've hit your budget.

-We're eating and we're drinking.

-Including the wines?

Wines haven't gone on yet.

Less than an hour into what should be the second biggest night of her life, the money's all gone.

I'm convinced he spent more on the stag than what he's given us for the hen.

I hope he's got me an amazing wedding dress that cost thousands and thousands of pounds.

That would make it worthwhile. ..Here's hoping.

The wedding's only five days away

and Jonny's due to catch a flight back to Belfast in two hours.

I can't sleep, I can't sleep,

the house is a mess,

the bed's broke.

Argh!

Unfortunately, last night, he threw yet another party and now he's in danger of missing his flight.

Not that Jonny's worried.

Let's have another look.

DRUM'N'BASS MUSIC PLAYS

Revived by the techno, Jonny does his packing for the week.

Four bridesmaids dresses and his bride's £1,500 wedding gown stuffed into a box.

Dress hit me in the face.

I am trolleyed!

Jonny finally makes it into the cab.

He's got half an hour to get to the airport or he'll miss his check-in.

Thanks, mate.

In Belfast, Ayca's thoughts have turned to how she will look on her big day.

By now, though, I hope he's got everything sorted.

Should he have everything sorted by now?

It's a week before the wedding.

He must have all the big, important stuff done, and I reckon this week should be my thing.

My hair appointment, my make-up appointment,

maybe getting me a little spa treatment.

More like hospital treatment if Ayca knew what Jonny was up to.

Erm...

Short story, missed the flight.

Long story...

missed the flight.

Yeah, missed it.

There's no other flight now until 9 o'clock tonight.

So, by now, I would have been in Belfast, sorting stuff out.

I feel like shit, to be honest, because I've just wasted a whole day.

A new flight cost Jonny another £100 -

money he can ill afford, with only three grand left

and still no bar, no car, no cake,

flowers, rings or a photographer, and no food for his guests to eat.

Ayca knows how important the catering is

and has brought Cath to the restaurant where Jonny proposed.

It was actually the most amazing dinner of my life, by far.

This would be so perfect for the wedding day.

-It's amazing.

-Thank you very much.

-Enjoy your lunch, ladies.

-Thank you!

Ayca would happily spend big to serve up quality food.

50 quid a head...

would be reasonable for a fine dining...meal.

Or how about no quid a head?

Having arrived in Belfast, Jonny's finally meeting some caterers.

-Alan?

-Jonny.

-How's it going?

-Not bad.

-But he's almost out of spends.

What is your budget for all this, then?

-A grand, straight up.

-£12 a head? Roughly less than £12 a head?

The less the better, to be honest. If we could come under that at all,

-be amazing.

-It would be amazing, actually.

-I don't need the finest china. Maybe just a little bit better than plastic knives and forks.

-OK.

The girls have moved on to their main course, scallop with pork,

alerting Ayca to a cultural minefield.

In Turkey, because of the Muslim religion,

you're not meant to have pork. If it was just a pork main course,

then I think there would be problems.

It's a pig on a spit. You can't go wrong with it.

I don't know whether there's any way you could Turk up a pig.

Thanks so much.

Jonny's clearly not too worried about his Turkish guests.

With no Jim to distract him for the next two days,

Jonny finally embarks on some serious organising.

£90 plus VAT? I'll take that one, then. How easy is that? Know what I mean?

-450.

-Yeah. I'll do that for you.

All right. Brilliant. Thanks very much.

Back in London, even Jim is pulling his finger out.

Hello, room!

He's roped in some pals to help him clean the flat.

Yeah, the job's done.

Ayca's not going to freak out when she gets back.

It's as if it never happened.

With only 48 hours to go, Jonny finally tots up his spending.

11,705.

So, I've got £295 left.

What do I need to get with that?

Flowers,

hair and make-up,

photographer...

..and cake.

Five things. £300.

BLEEP Got to get wines for the tables. OK.

For the first time, doubts are starting to creep in.

In my mind, it's going to be awesome,

but an outside wedding, Ayca doesn't like being outside.

We're having pork for Muslim guests.

People might just think it's rubbish.

And most importantly, Ayca might not be happy.

With his spirits flagging Jonny needs help, and fast.

I see the ghost of a tramp, Christmas tramp.

The Jim has landed, just in the nick of time.

United they shall surely stand.

Or possibly fall.

Jim's back, the boys are back in town.

The boys are at Rowallene to marvel at their massive erection.

The tepees are going up.

-Jonny, how good are we for finding these?

-Awesome.

Absolutely awesome.

But Jim's initial enthusiasm soon gives way to doubt.

People that aren't me and Jonny might be less impressed

by a couple of tents, whereas me and Jonny are like children.

We love silly things.

Have we made a mistake? Have we?

Mistake or not, it's certainly set them back a few quid.

There's nothing left in the pot for the thoughtful touches Ayca had been expecting.

I was hoping this week would be

for him to have a few days of pampering me,

but that's not materialised.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Jonny.

Hello?

He's come up with an ingenious money-saving plan.

Is there any way that you could just send somebody for Ayca? No?

OK, I'll sort it out.

There's no money to send a hairdresser or a make-up artist.

It costs 50 quid to get a hairdresser.

If we do want somebody, we have to sort it out ourselves.

My dress better be amazing, to take away from my hair and make-up.

With the wedding in two days, there's one vital job that Jonny needs Jim's help with.

Get these bad boys on. Right? Here.

HE LAUGHS See you later.

I've not received an invitation. But...

It looks like one has arrived.

Turkish style.

Oh, my God!

THEY SHRIEK AND LAUGH

You are invited to Jonny and Ayca's wedding on the 25th July, 3.30pm.

Thank you!

Bye. Love you.

What made me think

Jonny could possibly send me an invitation in an envelope?!

What was I thinking? What is my wedding going to be like?

At this rate, it will either be a wedding with no flowers, no photographer, or no booze.

That's the last of the budget spent. 180 quid on wine and champagne.

I am a little bit disappointed in myself

because I wasn't able to do the whole thing on-budget.

My only option is to go and speak to my mum and dad.

They always bail me out, but...

Yeah.

Jonny faces the embarrassment of asking his parents for a handout of nearly £600.

The fact that we've left two or three things out of the budget is a bit stupid,

but that was probably always going to happen with us two.

Cheers, Dad, thanks.

-Ooooh!

-Did you get it?

Lucky Jonny is quids in.

Now he's been bailed out by the Bank of Mum and Dad, he can afford to get flowers and a photographer.

Phew.

It's the day before the wedding. The boys are decorating their beloved tepees.

Meanwhile, at Ayca's house, nerves are running high.

Her wedding dress has been delivered and she's about to see it for the first time.

Ayca dreamed of a floaty princess dress

but risk-taker Jonny's played it safe.

Um...

It looks a bit plain.

Yeah.

I don't know what else to say about it until I've got it on.

We all think she's going to look beautiful.

She'd look beautiful in anything, but we want for her to really enjoy wearing it and like it on.

If Ayca doesn't like herself in it, she's in trouble.

The shop is 400 miles away, so she can't take it back.

-Oh!

-Aw!

Sweetie!

It's OK.

It's not the princess dress she dreamed of and it doesn't fit.

Cath makes an emergency phone call.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-'Hi, Jonny.'

-Hiya.

Would it be possible to send a seamstress to the house?

-A seamstress?

-'Yeah.

'Somebody that can take in the top of her dress.'

'Yeah. Does she like the dress?'

'It's slightly too big for her at the top.'

I'll sort a seamstress out, but does she like the dress or not?

She'll never be able to tell how much she likes it until it's perfect.

'I think you've done an amazing job.'

All right, I'll sort it out. Bye.

Right, I need to get a seamstress.

What is a seamstress?

AYCA: 'Maybe it's a girl thing'

that a seamstress for a dress that the bride has never tried on before is an obvious factor.

Maybe it's just me. I don't know. Something tells me it's not just me.

Something tells me it's Jonny being stupid.

But Jonny gets his act together, and within the hour, the cavalry arrives.

Oh, Ayca!

That feels so much nicer.

I just actually feel like it fits me and I'm not going to be worrying about it.

-I'm so glad you're smiling.

-I know!

While the seamstress saves the day, as ever, Jonny and Jim aren't worried.

It's looking good, man. It's lookin' good.

And it won't rain and everyone will have a good time.

Looks like he might have spoken too soon.

What's the weather like? At the moment, it's bucketing down out of the heavens.

And...I'm nervous.

It's my wedding day! Finally!

After three long weeks! I'm so excited.

Jammy Jonny's struck it lucky.

The sun's shining for the first time in a week.

Yeah!

Ayca also has reason to be cheerful.

The girls have found her a hairdresser at the last minute.

I'm phase one of your hair and beauty rescue squad.

Yes! Thank you!

But there's no rest for the wicked with their DIY wedding.

I didn't think, on the morning of my wedding, I'd be carting booze around.

It's coming on good. I'd just like to...

get the tables sorted and then we can get back off home and get Jonny scrubbed up, get his neck washed.

Ayca is scrubbing up well herself.

Absolutely perfect.

It's exactly what I want.

I could not have asked for anything different.

It's time for the bridesmaids to reveal the dresses they helped pay for.

Oh, my God!

They are stunning.

Jonny may have wanted the girls in green sacks, but it looks

like they made the right decision for him.

Not what I would have picked but they're really, really good.

And it's got little sparkles on it! I like that.

Having arrived in Belfast with no clothes, Jonny's sent his mum on a crucial errand.

I never dreamt that on the morning of my son's wedding

I would be running to the local shopping centre to get him boxers.

Never. But then, that's Jonny.

# I'm gonna make love to you, baby. #

At Ayca's, the guest of honour arrives all the way from Turkey.

It's her dad.

Oh, my God! Look! Electric blue!

Come inside.

Armed with his spanking new pants, Jonny's suddenly worried about losing his composure.

I don't mind if I have a little cheeky tear,

but if I start bawling my eyes out in front of everyone, once I go, Jim will go, won't you?

-It will be a chain reaction.

-It'll be a chain reaction, exactly.

-You going to cry as well?

-That is the best way to put on a shirt(!)

With 40 minutes to go, the boys set off for the venue.

At Ayca's house, she's ready to give her dress its first public airing.

ALL: Ahh!

It may not be her dream dress, but it's a hit with the crowd.

-I'm very, very proud of you.

-Thank you, guys.

The girls nip outside for a quick photo opportunity.

Oh, look! Guys!

Aw!

It's not the horse and carriage Ayca had always hoped for

but of course, that would have been far too risky a choice in rainy Belfast.

Jonny could have gambled, like, a horse and carriage and stuff.

I hope he hasn't gambled with the whole ceremony being outside

because I know it looks gorgeous, but you never know in Belfast.

She's about to find out just how much of a gambler her man is.

It would be wrong to say I'm not nervous. I feel very nervous.

This has just been like the longest 10-15 minutes of my life.

It's just dragging.

For Ayca, the suspense is nearly over.

A garden? What if it starts raining?

Rowallane Garden... I have never been here.

Is this where we're going? Oh, my goodness.

This is so beautiful.

Oh!

I think I'm more nervous than Jonny. I don't know why I'm so nervous.

She's half an hour late.

Well, that is the bride's prerogative.

MUSIC: Pachelbel's Canon

I love you.

It is the will of God that, in marriage, husband and wife should experience a lifelong unity

of heart, body, mind, comfort and companionship.

Jonathan, do you give yourself in marriage to Ayca?

I do.

Ayca.

I, Ayca Naz Ayabakan,

take you, Jonathan Linus Lacey to be my wedded husband.

I give you this ring as a sign of our marriage. With my body I honour you.

All that I am I give to you.

All that I have I share with you.

I therefore now proclaim that they are husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Jonny's big gamble has paid off.

So far, at least.

Mr and Mrs Lacey, at last.

Yay! It's amazing! Have you like, looked around?

It's perfect. You know me better than I know myself,

actually, honestly. You really do.

Can't get anything better than that, know what I mean?

I was just looking for a happy face, but that's amazing.

This is fantastic. My son did a great job.

He has blown me away. It's wonderful.

Jonny Lacey luck comes into play.

Anybody else that planned a wedding in Belfast outside, it would have rained.

Jonny Lacey? Nah.

I was like, "Jonny, were you not scared?" He's like, "I knew it wasn't gonna rain."

Hello, everybody, yes!

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

-Is everyone ready for their dinner?

-ALL: Yes!

Right, everyone through my legs!

This is the way to the feast!

CHEERING

While Jonny takes his new wife the scenic route,

the guests are led round the back of the house for their first glimpse of the tepees.

This is fantastic.

This is amazing!

This is lovely.

It's such a different atmosphere.

I never expected something like this.

Wait, wait, wait.

Check this out.

Holy BLEEP!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Check this out!

There's a big massive pig out there on a stick, right, so all you need to do is go and get a bit of pig.

CHEERING

The spit roast gets the thumbs-up from the Irish contingent.

Ayca's sister isn't quite so sure.

That is a real pig?

They burned it, they cooked it? Oh!

I don't think I'll eat it. Have some potatoes and rice.

You know, Turkish would be lamb.

But it's all right. We forgive them, it's all right.

Nobody's perfect.

I haven't heard anyone complain. Everyone thinks it's amazing.

The wedding of the century. I've heard that actual quote - "wedding of the century".

-That is cheap wine.

-It is.

-Three for ten!

-Three for ten.

Cheap but effective - just like Jonny.

Every father hopes his daughter will find a smart, reliable,

-sensible...

-LAUGHTER

..and considerate young man.

So I have to say I am a contented father as I am delighted to see my daughter looking so happy today.

May they walk the road of life together, hand in hand.

-To Ayca and Jonny.

-Woo!

APPLAUSE

We all know Jon as very warm, very caring, he's a sensitive guy and loving man.

I can't put into words how much he loves Ayca.

So what I'm going to do is... I'm going to go away, because Jonny's going to hit me...

I found a DVD that he made for Ayca.

JONNY: 'I'm standing outside...'

ALL SHRIEK

'At the moment I'm trying to make a movie.

'No, no... It's mainly about love.'

ALL: Ohhh!

Stitched up. He stitched me up.

'How do you explain love?'

LAUGHTER

'It's indescribable sometimes, and I think that...

'The word "love" is...

'It's used too carelessly in this day and age.'

I'm going to get him back so badly.

'What's Ayca's best qualities?

'Her compassion for people.

'Her kindness...

'Her ass.'

LAUGHTER

CHEERING

There's one last surprise for Ayca from best man and unwanted lodger Jim.

Now you're married, it's going to be really weird if I'm in your house.

I want to give you your house key back and wish you all the best.

# Always when we fight

# I kiss you once or twice

# And everything's forgotten... #

I would not change anything for the world. I swear to you, I wouldn't.

I think you're a legend.

-What about Jim?

-I think he's a legend, too.

# And it's you and me

# And we're always

# And forever

# You and me always... #

And it's been all right, as I said.

It's not been all right. It's been absolutely flipping fabulous.

-Honestly.

-Chuffed.

# You and me, always

# And forever, you and me, always

# And forever

# Bah ba-bah ba-bah ba

# And it's always you and me, always... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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