Ryan and Fern Don't Tell the Bride

Hold on to your hats.

Don't Tell The Bride is back.

LAUGHTER

-What do you think?

-You look really nice.

-Do I?

-Only the bravest of brides...

-I'm really scared.

..would let their groom organise the biggest day of their life...alone.

She is going to love it, I know she is, but she will probably kill me.

The grooms get £12,000...

No strippers!

..and the brides get no say in how it is spent.

With a million ways to splash the cash...

I got married on a battleship.

-And back to Vegas, baby.

-..and a million things to organise...

-I don't know what she wants.

-He's well stressing me out.

..can the guys pull it off in just three weeks?

-I can't do it.

-And will it be for better

-or for worse?

-After ten minutes, I want to get it off.

You have ripped the whole family apart.

This is hell on Earth.

Tonight, showman Ryan sees stars as he tries to pull off a Hollywood wedding to dazzle his bride Fern.

This is your rock star venue.

Brad Pitt would be happy with this.

Will he remember he is marrying his bride and not his best man?

-I am not sure.

-Will he actually invite any guests?

I'm getting married the day after tomorrow and some people's invites are still in my van.

I am embarrassed because he has not been in touch with any of them.

Ace.

And will he come back alive from the European stag do?

-This is the beginning of the end.

-D'you want me pants off?

Can this man give this woman the day of her dreams?

It could be a disaster.

This programme contains some strong language.

I didn't think he'd pick that.

Today, 21-year-old Fern is moving out of the home she shares with 23-year-old Ryan, near Doncaster.

After four years together, Ryan proposed last year, in front of

all their friends and family at Fern's 21st birthday party.

I wanted it to be a massive impact, better than anyone else.

I pulled Fern up to the stage, I got down on one knee, I said my piece and gave her the ring.

And then she melted. Didn't you?

He likes to show off and impress people and that is what he did!

The couple certainly like to impress each other.

They both work hard to stay in tip-top condition.

If you look good on the outside, you feel good, confident.

I don't think there is any shame in admitting I am a little bit vain.

There is always a bit of competition for the mirror before a night out.

-She takes about three hours to get ready.

-I honestly don't.

Ryan takes quite a while to get ready.

I honestly don't take quite a while to get ready.

You do take a long time to get ready.

There is your shirt, what shoes you are wearing.

You'll think, "I'm a bit pasty, I you need a tan."

Then you will probably ask me to do your eyebrows before you go out.

MUSIC: "Country House" by Blur

They might look like celebrities, but it is not all glamour.

They currently live in a caravan on Ryan's dad's land.

Basically, it is just a starter for us, so we can get where we want to be in life and save some money.

It might take a while to get out of it.

Ryan is a floor fitter and often spends seven days a week on his hands and knees.

Work is my life most of the time. It puts bread on the table. If the work's there,

I will take it. I never say no.

Fern has spent the last two years training to be a beautician, and has developed a keen eye for detail.

It is important to me, the detail.

I think detail makes your wedding day extra-special.

-I love that.

-Yeah.

-I love it. Are you taking note?

As an only child, she is quite used to getting her own way.

-They have pink ones.

-No.

I am the boss.

She has only-child syndrome. She is not the best sharer in the world.

-All right, them ones, then.

-Yeah?

-Yeah. We'll get these.

But Ryan thinks he knows how to keep her sweet.

She goes on and on like a five-year-old.

Who you love to pieces, but you need to give it that sweet so it shuts up!

How rude!

I have got to remember the real reasons why I'm marrying Ryan,

but it will be hard, because I like things to go my way.

It is Fern's last morning in the caravan.

She is moving into her mum's for three weeks with her dog, Dudley,

while Ryan tries to plan their wedding.

Dudders, come on.

Love you.

See you soon, yeah?

The biggest day of her life is now in his hands.

Obviously weren't in a waving mood!

# Ooh, you're making me live... #

-Fortunately...

-HORN HONKS

..Ryan's best man Matt is here to soften the blow.

I don't think there will be much difference between living with Matt and Fern,

because Matt is like a woman!

'He thinks it is as equal his wedding as our wedding!'

-All right, son? How's you doing?

-Not bad, mate!

Matt has been close to Ryan since primary school.

So close that he has decided to bunk up in the one-bed caravan for the whole three weeks.

There is no one closer to Ryan than I am. I probably know him more than Fern and I think he knows that.

I think he can trust me. He trusts me with a lot of things.

But Fern has her worries about their bro-mance.

When Ryan and Matt get together,

they become like kids and it becomes all about them.

They need to remember this is my big day that I have been dreaming of since I was a little girl.

So they need to get it perfect.

It is like a big holiday to us both.

I think we will have some good times.

And on that note, it is time to get down to organising the holiday... I mean, wedding.

Ryan knows that his bride expects a church ceremony, so he has arranged

to visit St Mary's, a historic Norman church in his parish.

The vicar is on hand to show the boys around.

-It is beautiful, isn't it?

-It is.

It's gorgeous, exactly what I wanted. Ten times better than I imagined.

I like how cosy it is inside.

I think Fern will love it.

Fern is spending the next three weeks at her mum Shelley's house.

They both have firm ideas about what the wedding should be like and most importantly, who should be there.

It is important to me to have, like, probably 130 to see us get married, rather than less.

You might end up with four people there at the altar.

Fern's 130 guests might be a tight squeeze at cosy St Mary's.

Stay where you are.

Go there.

You can squeeze five in.

-I think you have sold it to us!

-Definitely.

-Where do we sign?

-I love it, it looks beautiful!

Even with five people to a pew, the church only holds 90,

but that doesn't stop Ryan booking it on the spot.

My only reservation is it might be a little bit too small.

We are going to have to cut the guest list down.

It means less guests, less to pay for, less to eat. It leaves more to the budget.

Large numbers might be essential to Fern,

but back at the caravan, Ryan has no problem decimating the guest list.

Not sure about them. They are close friends of Russell's and Shelley's, but they don't need

to be there, if they don't have to be there, do you know what I mean?

I have cut six off there.

What about these?

I don't even know who they are. Not sure about them two.

That is it, sorted.

Team Gorgeous have cracked it!

The self-styled Team Gorgeous now need a reception venue.

Showman Ryan has got some big ideas for his big day.

I want this wedding to feel like a Hollywood premiere, with red carpets and flash cameras and a helicopter.

I think they are great ideas.

I would love my wedding to be elegant, just not tacky

and over-the-top.

Maybe a couple of gold-painted blokes

in gold hot pants at the entrance. That would be awesome.

We've got a lot to think about.

Right now, they have got to think about finding a reception venue with sufficient "wow" factor.

First stop, Ringwood Hall on the outskirts of Chesterfield.

It definitely has the grand entrance.

Have we got space for a helicopter?

Wedding co-ordinator Mandy takes them round the available reception room,

which has just the right amount of seats for their newly-slashed guest list.

I think it is about time we talked about money.

-How much is the budget?

-5,000.

For the venue and the food...

and the lovely staff.

It doesn't work, you know!

LAUGHTER

-But because I really love the venue...

-And me!

..and you, and the price!

-You don't know, yet.

-You can work that out.

If you could chuck in a three-night stay...

You will get one anyway.

I mean before. We should be able to try out the hotel, me and the bride-to-be!

Are you going to be the bride-to-be on that night?

I am actually Fernando! AKA Fern!

# Can you hear the drums, Fernando? #

While Mandy works out a final price, Ryan and "Fernando" picture their big day at the hall.

Suddenly, they come across a much grander room.

Unfortunately, it is booked for another wedding on the same day.

And if there is one thing that neither Fern nor Fernando do, it is second best.

This is the number-one room in the venue.

It is not. It just means it holds more people,

it is a bit bigger.

I would hate another wedding to be on the same day as mine.

It is your day, it has got to be just about you.

We are going for a Hollywood scene.

We want the glitz, the glam.

You don't have two awards ceremonies in one venue at once.

Do you know what I mean? We want it to be big.

-No-one is going to be bothered.

-I know someone who will be bothered.

-You?

-Fern.

-She won't be. I would put money on it.

I would hate to see another bride on my wedding day.

I can't think of anything worse.

Back at Gorgeous HQ, and Matt just won't let it lie.

I don't think the guests will be too impressed, coming all away to have a second-class wedding, in the shadows

of another wedding what is going off in the main room, and we are in the back next to the bins.

-You dick!

-Fern is not second best.

Neither is that room.

-Some people have small weddings.

-Not us. Not you.

The boys put their differences aside and get back on the road.

There is not much danger of Fern bumping into another bride at their next destination.

It is a 4,000-square-foot Science Museum in a former steelworks.

Destination MAGNA Centre.

Where do we get married? On top of the cranes?

It's very unusual, but it has the "wow" factor.

-People will walk up to this and think, "What is this?"

-It'll never be forgotten.

If inside is as good as outside, this could be a possible choice.

Oblivious to her groom's priorities, Fern has brought her mum

to her dream wedding venue, an elegant hotel set in tranquil gardens.

I would like my wedding to be in

a really nice hotel, with nice grounds, cosy and homely.

I love it.

-Isn't it gorgeous?

-Beautiful.

-It's perfect.

People will be comfortable, won't they?

They would, yeah. Comfortable. Definitely.

I am thinking about guests. The number of guests is important to me.

This is what I see.

Helicopter over there landing in t'car park, walking in.

I want people dressed as paparazzi out there,

harassing us.

The big, grand place is what I'm imagining Ryan will want.

-They are too airy and...

-Echo-y.

-Yeah.

As you can see, quite an industrial feel in here.

It's part of the old steelworks.

-It is definitely different.

-I absolutely love it.

We could even have Fern and me lowered down onto our seats on the top table.

Like Mission: Impossible?

I can't believe how amazing it is inside.

-I didn't expect it to be what it is.

-No. You get inside and it's wow!

-Wow!

-When you see past the blank walls and what you can do with the space, it's quite amazing.

This is your rock star venue, innit, this, definitely.

Has Ryan forgotten he's only having 90 guests?

Last on his list is another intimate venue.

Complete with its own spa and golf course,

Broughton Hall is a five-star Georgian country estate.

Look, that's the entrance we were looking for, I think.

The celebs are here!

-It's definitely got the wow factor.

-Yeah, definitely.

I want it. I want that one!

-I'm really getting a good vibe.

-I am, actually, yeah.

I absolutely love this venue.

As long as you can land a helicopter in your front drive.

-Of course, we've got a heli pad.

-Can you?

-Really nice.

-It is perfect.

The boys might be blown away, but at £110 a head,

this venue would wipe out 10 grand of their budget in one fell swoop.

So Ryan's begged for a better deal.

If she comes back and says £8,000, I can't stretch to it.

I'd stretch to six-and-a-half, that's it.

-6,300.

-6,300?

If you were to say 6,000, then I'd say yes.

-Yeah?

-Yes.

I'll do that.

-It's a deal. Venue, done.

-Venue!

I'm chuffed about that.

The boys have now blown over half their budget

on a church that's too small and a venue that's too grand.

It's the perfect setting for a Hollywood extravaganza Fern doesn't want.

This is like a celebrity-style wedding that we wanted.

Brad Pitt would be happy with this, I'm sure.

If me and Fern don't get married here, I think me and you should.

At this rate, mate, you will.

Must be time to celebrate.

It's all about freedom, son.

That's what tonight's all about, it's all about my last two weeks of freedom, is it, now?

-Spending it with me.

-Spending it with Matt, my best man.

The next morning,

and the boys should be tackling their wedding invitations,

but they've woken up at Matt's house with a horrible hangover.

I feel disgusting.

You actually look disgusting, though, Matt. Today.

-Cheers.

-You look like you smell.

We've got a lot to do today. We can't afford to get behind today.

Get off!

Ryan may have Matt to snuggle up to,

but Fern's starting to struggle without her main man.

I am actually really missing him.

Cos, like, it's bad, no contact.

It's just the no-contact bit, no talking to each other or anything.

That's the bit that does it, I think.

Cos I know he'll be really stressed.

I know it's hard to enjoy planning it cos he's got such little time,

but I hope he is looking forward to it and not worrying too much.

Yeah, he's not worrying too much.

I've known I'd be Ryan's best man since I was about ten years old.

Best man's more than a job to me, and a duty.

It's an honour. I couldn't think of being a best man for anyone else.

And what better way to prove his loyalty

than by taking Ryan and 13 mates on a three-day bender

with £1,000 from the budget?

It means the world to me, Rye having a big send-off.

I'm not sure Fern'll be too happy, like,

but, you know, they're not married yet, so anything goes.

MOBILE RINGS

Hello?

I'm looking to have 15 different colours,

six medium, eight large and one extra large.

The snow leopard in the large. I look forward to getting them.

Ryan might have a big stag do to look forward to,

but Fern wants the big dress she's always dreamt of.

She's bought her mum and grandmother to her favourite bridal boutique.

That one looks nice. Not too fussy.

Oh, just saw the sparkles!

The Swarovski, I love it.

It just does catch your eye, doesn't it? Why not?

You only get married once.

If she doesn't find one in here, she won't find one, will she?

I can see why a lot of brides do go for it,

because it's flattering, you know, for the figure.

But it's just got nothing about it.

It's just too simple.

I hope he doesn't think, "Oh, I'll just go for a safe option."

Something steady, because that's the worst for me.

Safe option? Ryan?

He's looking for a dress to fit his Hollywood dreams.

-4,000.

-Is it? Yeah.

-That's a really big wow dress.

I wouldn't mind you to just try that on anyway?

Of course, yeah.

I want to see it.

-Yeah, I like that one, yeah.

-That is stunning.

I like the detail in the, er, veily section.

If you're looking at the Rolls-Royce of wedding dresses,

and that's what you want, this is it, basically.

I'm not too sure about everything going off on the top half.

-OK.

-I really need to see them on somebody.

-Wow.

-It's very sparkly.

-I think that's an amazing dress.

-Do you?

-I do, I really like it.

I think it's nice.

It'll take some topping. I like that one, though.

The boys might buy into the bling,

but it's an unusual asymmetrical dress that's caught Fern's eye.

I actually really like that.

I know it's completely different to the first ones.

Oh, wow, I like it.

I don't think it's necessarily the-bigger-the-better dresses I like,

I think it's something that's got a bit going on,

either the crystal or these flowery bits.

You know, something about it.

-Something completely different.

-Yeah, something wow.

He needs to get the detail right.

I hate plain dresses.

It's got to have something about it and something to it. So...

I just hope he's daring enough to go with something like that.

I don't think he can go wrong, so long as he comes to this shop.

Yeah, let's hope he picks this one.

Yeah, like that's going to happen(!)

You may kiss the bride.

And the wow-factor frock has been shelved for a safer option.

That's loads more elegant. Yeah, that's the best one.

That dress is absolutely amazing.

Isn't it perfect, that? I knew it.

I didn't want something that was really in your face. Wow!

-That's great.

-Yeah, it is.

It's perfect.

-We have a winner.

-Result.

I can't believe that you can get all this for £1,000.

That's right, cos you can't!

The price of this is 1,800.

-Is that rock bottom?

-Yes.

That's another huge dent in his budget on a plain princess dress.

But the boys won't be outshone on the big day. Oh, no.

3, 2, 1...

What do you think?

-You look really nice.

-Do I?

-Do I really? Cos I imagine I do.

-I like what you've got going on.

-It's really pretty.

-Chuck your bouquet, then.

They do make a lovely couple, I have to say.

A couple of what, I can't tell you.

I can't believe my dress costs more than Fern's.

Bye.

Erm, I'm taking this.

Ryan only has ten days and three and a half grand left

to pull off his red carpet event.

Time to cut some corners.

Snip!

Are these all the same length?

The letter bits? Right.

Yes.

-It's failed again.

-You're too close.

-That looks all right.

-It looks shite.

I don't think it looks too bad, that.

Rome wasn't built in a day. It's just trial and error.

I think that looks nice.

For a first attempt.

If Fern doesn't like it, I do not care,

cos I've spent so much... There's effort in there.

That just took ten minutes to do one and we've got 50 to do.

Ryan's leading lady is also hard at work,

but she's worried about his attention to detail.

I hope he doesn't just, like, get run away with himself,

want the best venue, the best food, the best everything

and think, "Oh, crap!

"I've only got this much money and I've got to get this and this."

I don't think he'll have sat down and worked out costs for things.

I think he'll just go...

and roughly have it in his head what he'll spend on what,

and it's not the way to do it.

If he has missed something out, then what happens?

If the money's gone, it's gone. Surely he won't be so daft.

Back at base, there's a problem with the guest list.

I've left Matt, one of my closest mates, off,

and then left the head bridesmaid off,

and then I actually left me and Fern off the list.

Ace.

It's boring me now, this wedding planning.

It's not even exciting, is it?

-In any way?

-I'm quite enjoying myself now.

I'm on a right roll here.

Got my little stall set up.

Just going to work out how much money I'll have left

after spending an extra 500 quid on 10 more people.

Ryan has got to be the first groom in history

to leave his bride off the guest list.

But rather than fixing the mess, the boys head back into town

on a mission that's much more up their street.

-We want top hat and tails.

-We want the full works.

Yeah, the works.

-Did I say 32?

-Yeah.

I might have meant 34.

-Feel smart? Are they a 32 waist?

-Yeah.

You can tell!

Get me a size bigger, if that's how you feel!

I don't like to tell him, but he's a little bit of a chunky monkey.

-Look at you.

-Look at you.

-Look at you.

Do I look nice from behind?

Do I get a hat?

I like to put my gloves on.

Opening doors!

Mint!

Lovely.

Then it's finally time

to knuckle down to some of the wedding essentials, like...

a helicopter?

Do you think she'd manage it, on the step and everything?

I'm sure she would. I'd help her in.

Chuck her in. She'd be all right.

-So it's just the two of you that would go in the helicopter?

-Yes.

Yes, on your wedding day, three would be a crowd.

Wouldn't it, Matt?

-There's going to be a spare seat in front.

-I know there is.

-Come on, mate.

-No! You can't do it.

I'm absolutely heartbroken about that.

It'll be a proper good entrance.

It's a shame I'm not getting in, even though it's a three-seater.

I know, it's a shame, innit. Poor Matt.

Ryan's blown his cash on an A-list arrival,

but image-conscious Fern is worried about the basics, like her hair.

She's come for a trial with her bridesmaids, Rachel and Lucy.

What day are you getting married? Next Friday?

Do you know who's doing your hair?

No, I don't know anything.

I don't think he'll have even thought of it yet, to be honest.

Of course the boys haven't booked a hair stylist,

but that isn't the only thought troubling Fern.

One of the bridesmaids' boyfriends has let slip

that Ryan's three-day stag do starts tomorrow.

I don't think he's got three days to spend on a stag do.

Most men would have, like, one day or one night or something,

but he's had to take it to the next level

and do the full three-day thing.

I've got a feeling he's still got a lot to do.

I'm just starting to think and panic,

because I know he's not going to be able to do anything this weekend.

I know he can't really get cracking again until Tuesday.

I wouldn't be happy if he spent a large amount of the budget on his stag do.

I love it. Definitely.

If he did that, I'd have to have a good long think about it, but I'd make him pay. He'd regret it.

Ah, Prague. The home of Smetana, Dvorak and Kafka,

famous for its music and architecture,

not forgetting its beer.

This is the beginning of the end, I think.

The boys have a packed itinerary ahead of them.

Pity they didn't extend the same courtesy to the girls.

They can sort their own stuff out, really. It's all about us now.

Forget about the birds.

What the lads did book the birds is a minibus for a night out in Manchester.

Unfortunately, having blown a grand on the stag,

their budget didn't quite stretch to paying for it, the selfish boys!

We need to pay for this and it's 320 quid.

It's rubbish.

They don't care about us.

-Selfish. It's a man's trait.

-Thought he'd have paid for this.

I think he's saving the budget for your wedding.

I've got some money as well, girls.

Shite is a good word for it.

If they can't sort it, I will.

MUSIC: "Little Green Bag" by George Baker Selection

# We're all on a stag do Na na na na

# Na na na na

# We're all on a stag do Na na na. #

In Manchester, the girls are also traipsing round town.

Because the boys didn't arrange anywhere for them to go.

My feet are hurting.

Where are we going?

It's just boring walk about.

None of us has been here before, we don't know where to go.

All I want to do is go back to the hotel.

Come on, girls, where's your sense of adventure?

Yeah, we want to go anywhere.

It's been a bit exhausting, really, trekking all over Manchester

to find somewhere just for a good drink and a dance.

But we've finally found somewhere.

# Morning has broken

# Like the first morning. #

I'm feeling absolutely awful.

What an amazing night. Shame I can't remember much of it, though.

You're not singing any more.

I chucked a few cheeky voddies in his lagers, like.

Because that boy can work that pole, honestly.

Rye and Rye sat in toilet together,

cuddling, singing Westlife.

# We got a little world of our own

# I tell you things that no-one else knows

# I let you in where no-one else goes

# What am I doing without you? #

We must have been an embarrassment to us birds, really.

All for a good cause, though.

It's certainly been a memorable weekend and the boys are looking for a fitting memento.

Something a bit more lasting than a T-shirt.

How do you want me? Do you want me pants off?

I'm a little nervous at this moment in time - sweaty palms.

Are you really that nervous?

BUZZING

-I'm

-BLEEP

-me pants.

-Are you really?

Yes.

Cheeky little 'un.

# Close to you. #

I'll remember this weekend for the rest of me life.

Here...

# Nothing happening... #

It's Ryan's first day back after the stag do.

He's got just three days to deliver his invitations, dress the venue,

pick the bridesmaids' dresses, photographer, music and cake.

But he's put all that on hold to cram in a full day's hard graft.

It's close to wedding, but I've worked it so we've got hardly owt to do this week.

Maybe I shouldn't be at work, but I am, so there.

But Fern has a nagging suspicion that Ryan's still got more than owt to do.

I feel like I just need to step in and give him a good shake,

or just get on the phone to him and remind him

about these things that are going through my head.

But there's nothing I can do about it and I am having doubts,

because he's not even got the bridesmaids' dresses.

It is something he needed to get sorted.

It's a bit disappointing really.

Just two days before the wedding and Team Gorgeous are have finally decided to kit out the bridesmaids.

It's all a bit of an afterthought.

We're working to a tight budget.

How much.

We've got 100 quid each and we need to leave town today with a dress.

Because we have got no time.

This is the first choice. 12.

Look at Rachel's face.

-Try it.

-What colour's that?

-Red.

-Do you think that's like our cravats?

-Yes.

The same as our cravats.

Look at Rachael.

-She's going...

-That's in our price range.

Just pick that up!

Can we not put a little bit towards it?

-No.

-Really? No.

-Really no.

-What's wrong with that?

You're not giving it a chance, are you?

We'll, try that one anyway.

Try it, it goes with our suits.

Ryan's red and gold colour scheme leaves them little choice, especially on such a tight budget.

To be fair, we planned on spending 60. That is the truth.

What about this one here?

-I don't really like any, to be honest.

-No, I don't like these.

-This one is just...

-I don't think that's bridesmaid at all. Quite mumsy.

This one's frumpy. And that's like a little girl at a party.

Yeah, that one on end's probably the best one.

I'm for that one, me, personally. Price.

-What? What goes best?

-That one.

We don't know. So what are we doing, then?

So, we don't like them. You don't like them ones.

That one's all right.

But it's just all right, isn't it?

There is one more option in the shop.

But there are only two dresses in stock.

And they're in the wrong size.

Definitely out of all this is the most bridesmaidy.

-I think they are nice, can we get them ones?

-Definitely.

The boys have made their decision. Two dresses will be altered to fit

and they will have to make a 40-mile round trip to pick up a third.

All before the shop shuts in an hour.

We've got plans this afternoon, but we've put them on hold,

cos we need to get these dresses.

-It's been a shambles.

-Yeah.

Team Shambles better get a wiggle on.

Quick. Go, go, go, go!

Quick!

All your dresses are there, you've got to take them to alterations. Drive, drive!

Reality is forcing its way into Ryan's Hollywood dreams.

He still has no photographer, band or cake.

But instead of knuckling down, he's taking it out on his best buddy.

Your shoes are just there. Why are they there?

Why are they there?

What's that?

-For

-BLEEP

-sake, Rye! Sort your beef out!

-I can't

-BLEEP

-stand it, mate. I can't stand this mess.

Stop deflecting it. We're here to plan a wedding, not tidy a caravan.

Are you just slinging that in there?

I'm going to hang it all up.

-Are you really?

-Yeah, the old floor hang.

He's getting stressed because his caravan's a mess,

which, to be honest, why should that come into it?

End of day, we're here to plan a wedding, not clean the caravan.

-What a

-BLEEP

-hole!

Ryan's shambolic planning is also having repercussions at Shelley's.

The house phone is ringing constantly, people not knowing where they're going.

Certain people haven't received written invitations that needed to, really.

Fern's nana, she's not received an invite.

What she's done is bumped into my other nana in town today

and my other nana HAS received an invitation,

so my other nana's like, "Oh, have you got you invite?"

And she's like, "No, I haven't got mine,

"why have you got one and I haven't?!"

I don't know if she is going to receive an invitation.

That's the worry we've got, that there's no-one going to be there.

Me and Matt are better at organising the occasion

rather than organising the little details, I suppose.

The people who are actually going to be there.

We spent far too long on invites and some people's invites

are still in my van, waiting to be delivered.

I'm getting married the day after tomorrow and some people's invites are still in my van.

I feel like they might have had more fun than I thought.

I feel like it's been like The Ryan And Mattie Show.

If Ryan were left to do a little bit more on his own, it might have been different.

I mean, it is too late now.

I am embarrassed because he's not been in touch with any of them.

It is the day before the wedding and Fern's waiting for the dress

she's been told will be delivered to her mum's house.

Do you think it's coming from that dress shop?

The anxious bride has convinced herself that Ryan

must have bought her dress from her favourite local boutique.

She's got two or three dresses in her head that she tried on

and she's thinking that he's bound to pick one of them.

That may not be the case.

The dress is already two hours late and it's starting to dawn on Fern

that her man might just have bought it elsewhere.

I've got a sick feeling in my stomach.

If the dress is a disaster and I really hated it,

no, I don't think I'd wear it.

The one thing I do want is for me to walk out of this house

tomorrow morning feeling confident in the way I look.

All eyes are going to be on me.

I don't know, it could be a disaster.

The wait is finally over.

I don't recognise your two faces.

I didn't expect to see your faces because I don't know you,

-so it's not from my shop.

-It's OK.

It's not from the shop.

Oh, dear.

That didn't sound too promising.

And now it is a case of truthfully whether to give her an honest reaction when she comes downstairs,

or be a good mum and try and make the best of what I'm going to see.

I don't know. I don't know what's the best thing to do, really.

Oh.

I didn't think he'd pick that, I really didn't.

I thought he'd have got something slim-fitted.

I might look really sad, but I'm actually so just relieved.

I just want to try it on.

-Spin for me, spin.

-That's gorgeous.

-Oh, it's beautiful.

-Fabulous.

-It's stunning.

You were crying hysterically!

I couldn't see the bag. I thought I was going to see a sign...

Oh, for God's sake!

That's beautiful.

What was the hysteria? I could hear you.

I thought, "Oh, my God."

I thought you'd got something you didn't like.

I'm shocked that he's picked it.

Why?

Because I just didn't think he would. I didn't think he'd go for this.

I thought it would be mega over-the-top

with loads going on and all big, or simple. Do you love it?

Absolutely love it. It's stunning, perfect.

I love it.

I love the bit of Swarovski going on and...

I did not have this dress in my head, honestly, and that's why I was so relieved.

-I didn't think that sounded like relief!

-We though she didn't like it.

That's fantastic. I can't believe he's picked that, it's beautiful.

-Gorgeous.

-Well done, Ryan.

Tomorrow, the boys have a Hollywood extravaganza to pull off,

but for Matt, it's the future of Team Gorgeous that's at stake.

At the end of the day, he loves Fern to bits.

And I love him to bits, he loves me to bits, Fern likes me.

I wouldn't go as far as loves me!

But I don't think Fern would ever stopping him seeing me.

No way. And he'll always want to see me, but...

this is his time, isn't it? I've got to let him go.

-Good night, man.

-Good night, groom!

-Get off my toes!

It's the morning of the wedding and the bride is still in the dark about Ryan's plans for her hair.

Shelley has had enough of waiting.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

-Just one thing, is Fern getting a hairdresser this morning?

-No.

-No?

-We've not organised one.

All right, see you in a bit.

Bye. There's no point kicking off, I'm not kicking off at him.

-It's done. We need to crack on.

-Whatever.

I just hope it goes all right, I hope it's not a disaster or anything.

# Sisters are doing it for themselves

# Sisters are doing it for themselves... #

-It'll do, it's fine.

-I think I've made a pretty good job, actually.

It'll do. It's not like what I had done at the hairdressers, but well done, Mum.

It's OK. It will do.

While the girls rush to get ready, the boys arrive at the church.

A good few weeks of hard work - blood, sweat and tears.

But has Ryan told enough people about the wedding to fill it?

Time for the bride to see the last-minute bridesmaids' dresses.

Oh, God!

That is stunning.

Fab!

They are gorgeous.

He has picked a good colour.

I'm taking it that red's the colour, then.

I am so nervous, but so excited.

I just need to get to wherever it is and see him.

Word of the wedding must have got out somehow.

At the church, it is standing room only.

What time is it now?

Is it a church, definitely?

Oh, God, it is.

Michelle's there!

Oh, my God! Look. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Seriously.

Are you all right? What's up?

We have come together to witness the marriage of Ryan Edward and Fern.

I, Fern, take you, Ryan Edward, to be my husband.

-To have and to hold.

-To have and to hold from this day forward.

-For better, for worse.

For richer, for poorer.

-Come on.

-Deep breath.

-Oh, my God.

-For richer, for poorer.

-In sickness and in health.

-In sickness and in health.

-To love and to cherish.

-To love and to cherish.

-Till death us do to part.

-Till death us do part.

-According to God's holy law.

-According to God's holy law.

-Ryan Edward, I give you this ring.

-As a sign of our marriage.

-As a sign of our marriage.

Ryan and Fern have given their consent and made their marriage vows

to each other, I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

Ryan, you may kiss the bride, and we'll give them a round of applause.

Yeah, you've done very well. You have surprised me.

I told you - in the bag!

You can drop your cocky act now, though - back to reality with me, boy.

With Ryan back in his box, Matt dashes to the venue to sort out

all the Hollywood details, while Fern gets a very special detour.

-I've missed the caravan.

-Yeah? You're about to see it.

-No, I mean it now.

-What's up?

What are we calling back there for?

# I got another confession to make... #

No way. No way!

It is going to be a hell of an entrance.

I have never even been in a helicopter before.

-What's the secret location?

-Secret.

Ryan's leading lady finally gets the treatment she deserves,

but will she be ever able to take the limelight away from Matt?

Hello, this is best man TV, reporting live from Alton Hall on the wedding of Ryan and Fern.

How do you feel about your Ryan being made an honest man of himself?

I am absolutely proud of him.

Ryan will get a big pat on the back from me.

We are waiting on the big arrival of Ryan and Fern.

We're getting live feed right back now. Erm...

Tss, tss... Yeah, they are approaching.

Look at everyone!

Some of the guests were only invited yesterday, but a big crowd has gathered

for the couple's a red carpet entrance, complete with Ryan's gold Hollywood award statues.

It's amazing what you can do with a napkin nowadays.

I am interviewing the bride and groom on their fabulous day.

-How are you feeling today, Ryan?

-Fantastic.

The lovely bride, you are looking stunning today.

-Thank you!

-How you feel about the proceedings so far?

-I'm just wondering what these guys are doing here.

-It's just for us.

-I'm not quite sure, actually.

-It took some organising, this.

What is it meant to be? I don't get it. I am just a bit confused, actually.

The gold men might have left Fern lost for words, but what about the grand venue?

You know what, I think it tops my dream venue.

It blows it out the water.

My main worry was I wanted all my guests to feel comfortable, relaxed and just enjoy the whole day.

I think they are going to enjoy it here a lot more than they would have done at my venue.

It is absolutely perfect.

Ryan has pulled in favours on the rings,

cars and flowers and has somehow managed to come in on budget.

Even if the decor is not exactly like a Hollywood premiere.

-What you think?

-Oh, it looks gorgeous.

-Yeah?

-Oh, yeah.

What about that wall there?

Oh, my God!

That's amazing.

Oh, my God!

What made you choose those photos?

I like that one and that one is just us messing about.

Oh, my God, let me see the cake.

-The cake.

-Oh, my God, look at that, yeah, that is gorgeous.

I think you've done an absolute fab job, but if you skimped on anything, it is probably the detail.

You've not gone to town on it like you have everything else.

-No.

-Well done. You've done an absolutely amazing job.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Don't get all embarrassed.

I'm not embarrassed. Let's get some guests in here.

Yes, I am a bit envious of them.

Who wouldn't be? He didn't overstep it, though, he didn't go too far and, no, I am totally proud.

He is our son now.

Whether we like it or not.

I just want to say thanks to Fern's mum and dad for creating this beautiful woman here.

And every second I spend with her, I just really appreciate everything about her

and it has been amazing today and I couldn't have done it without Matt.

He's been the best man for the job.

-I thought that was for the bridesmaids.

-I lied.

There's a few boxes in them.

Mate...

APPLAUSE

The emotions got the better of me then. I'm meant to be macho.

Group hug.

I'm now part of the family.

He's part of the woodwork.

You know when you go to bed tomorrow night and I'm in the middle of you?

-What, you're not moving in or anything?

-Oh, no!

I'll just be at the window - "No! Please!"

I'm not going to go anywhere for a long period of time ever again,

because he has totally moved in and taken my place. I mean, for God's sake, he even took my bed.

How can you both sleep in my bed?

I woke up a couple of times and he was cuddling me.

Did you prefer his company to mine?

No, he's too hairy.

You've totally pulled it off.

It has been amazing and I have totally felt so special and like a princess, really.

You've given me everything I have ever dreamed of and more.

-Pulled it off, didn't we?

-We certainly did. I enjoyed every last minute of it.

-There were ups, downs.

-There were laughter.

-So what do you reckon to wedding planning?

-Piece of piss?

-Yeah.

-Easy.

-Easy-peasy, wedding planning.

-Yeah. Wedding planning...

BOTH: Done!

Wax much?

Next time, Hannah and Andy.

-I am not a magician.

-It's my wedding, I've got enough stress at the moment.

You are the bitch of the bitchiest of the bitches.

How dare you put shoes that ugly in front of my face?

The mother of the bride is coming round - the dog's eaten BLEEP everything.

No strippers, no strippers.

If you tie me up and there's any women around, she won't accept that as an excuse.

Prostitutes, hookers, strippers, lap dances... No, no, no!

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