Tom and Lotty Don't Tell the Bride

Hold on to your hats.

This is Don't Tell The Bride.

LAUGHTER What do you think?

-You look really nice.

-Do I?

Only the bravest of brides...

I'm really scared.

..would let their groom organise the biggest day of their life...

..alone.

She'll love it, I know. But she'll probably kill me.

The grooms get £12,000...

No strippers!

..and the bride's get no say in how it's spent.

With a million ways to splash the cash...

I got married on a battleship.

On black for Vegas, baby.

..and a million things to organise...

-I don't know what she wants.

-He's well stressing me out.

..can the guys pull it off in just three weeks?

-I can't do it.

-And will it be for better...

-THEY SCREAM

-..or for worse?

After 10 minutes, I want to get it off.

It's ripped the whole family apart.

This is hell on earth.

Tonight, fashionista Tom wants to create

an outdoor extravaganza for his bride, Lotty.

It's a Mongolian tent, basically.

But will it be her taste or his that wins the day?

I want a dress that just goes...

If she wants to put her chav bling on it, then fine.

Will he pay tribute to her late mother?

Come on, Mum. Swing it, please.

I'd like to remain positive and not completely write it off.

And can he prove how well he knows his bride?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh my God...

He really doesn't know me at all, does he? Oh, my God.

Can this man

give this woman the day of her dreams?

SHE SOBS

I don't want to do it.

Today, 30-year-old Lotty is moving out of the Bristol home

she shares with 28-year-old Tom.

To actually comprehend that I'll be leaving Tom here

and feel like I'm outside my life for the next three weeks

is going to be really surreal.

When the couple met four-and-a-half years ago, it was destiny.

I bounced over to see him. We had the same phones.

I asked him his star sign, took his number.

All the important things you need to know about someone instantly.

"What star sign are you? Do you like cheesy Wotsits?"

Three years later, Tom popped the question.

'He told me he wanted to go out for his birthday in a nice restaurant.'

-He dressed me up in a dress and...

-Not that I thought you were a Barbie!

No, but, put me in a dress.

'But Tom seemed extremely edgy, you know.'

He kind of got up and he was... shaking on one knee

and you could hear people behind going, "Is he, is he?

"Yes, he is! He's down on one knee!"

It's not every day that Tom gets to show his romantic side.

He's a brickie by trade, but he's not like the other guys.

Many's a time he's said he's going to go home tonight

and it's manicure night tonight.

-When have I ever said that?

-You know you have!

-"It's manicure night?"

-"I'm going to have a nice little pedicure."

I've never said that!

Metrosexual Tom makes all the design decisions

in their Bristol apartment.

-Ultimately, I'd like to change the cushions.

-Yeah...

We've got a role reversal in our relationship.

Whereas I should be all about buying a great big TV, I don't really care.

It'd be nice if we sorted the bedroom out,

got curtains up and things like that.

Luckily for Tom, his future Mrs is an insurance broker

and she wears the pants at home.

I think I bring an authoritative role to the relationship.

Do you want me to check it?

No, you're all right.

I think I bring organisation, I bring...order,

'I bring the importance of'

why things need to be done to our relationship.

And Tom, well he brings his flair for fashion.

He likes to look through the women's magazines at the clothes.

I was going to suggest that...

'Then I have to guess which pair of shoes he likes.'

It's a bit like Russian roulette because if I pick the wrong one,

'am I going to be totally berated for the fact that'

I've picked a pair of shoes that are chavvy.

-That's horrible, Lotty.

-It's got a strap.

I like a bit of sparkle, I like a bit of... You know.

'I like to show off. I'm a confident person'

and I don't like to hide.

But Lotty hasn't always had the chance to shine.

When she was just 13, her mother, Toni, lost her fight with cancer.

Unfortunately, when my mum passed away,

I then missed out on an 18th, a 21st,

that were particularly memorable.

I wouldn't want a wedding day that was half-hearted and glossed over.

I want it to be the most special, important day of my life.

I think I'll pull off my own perfect wedding,

but Lotty's perfect wedding...

I'd like to think so.

I'd like to think I know her well enough in order to do so.

It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

The next time they see each other will be at the altar.

I'll see you in three weeks.

-Stay calm, enjoy yourself. I love you.

-I love you, too.

-Love you, sweetheart.

-Love you, too.

Love you. See you in three weeks, babe.

Just going to really miss her, basically. It's going to be tough.

It feels like, at the moment,

it's going to be the longest three weeks of our lives.

Tom is now in control of the biggest day of Lotty's life.

Time to send in the cavalry.

Tom's big brother and best man, Joe, works in London as a teacher,

so they've got some catching up to do.

-Come here.

-I was going to just go for the handshake!

Nice to see you've dressed up for the occasion(!)

You're dressed for the summer as well, aren't you?

-Come here, you!

-THEY LAUGH

We've got serious planning to do.

I hope you're up for it, the next three weeks.

I'll deliver the best wedding I can for you and your lady.

Whatever you want me to do, I'll absolutely do.

It's just me and you?

Me and you planning a wedding.

It's been five minutes

and I've exhausted every avenue of conversation.

I won't lie - I think I'm a bit bored of you, as well.

I'm really looking forward to it.

I haven't spent three weeks with him for the best part of a decade.

With the sage moral counsel of his big brother,

everything will come up smelling of roses. Fingers crossed.

Lotty is staying with her surrogate mum, Auntie Lisa,

who was also Lotty's mum's best friend.

-THEY CHEER AND LAUGH

-Hello!

'Charlotte spent an awful lot of time'

at my house because her mum was ill and couldn't go out.

Whatever we did, Charlotte came and she was just part of our family.

It's nice to have this chance with you.

These three weeks are going to be special.

I knew...that this would be a really hard day, when she got married.

Oh... Just a minute.

SHE CLEARS HER THROAT

'When I used to go and visit Toni and sit there and hold her hand,

'she used to say, "I really wish I could stay alive

'"and see my daughters get married and be there for them."'

She said, "You will be, won't you?"

THEY LAUGH

We've got one cupboard here.

And here we've got another one.

I'm coming here to a new beginning.

This is the first time I've come to live with you without any tears.

Without any hassle, yes.

Because it's a positive reason why I'm coming to live with you, not...

-Oh, no, you'll be crying.

-..a loss.

I don't know how long I'll give you, I think it'll be about eight days!

Tom's wedding plans are about to be

influenced by one of his greatest passions.

Due to the fact I love surfing, it'll be great to have

some sort of influences of what I enjoy within in the wedding.

Just that sort of out-in-the-open-air feeling.

So to bring the outdoors in,

he's thinking of hiring

a Mongolian yurt.

Really cool, I like it.

'I'd ideally like a stately home'

or a manor house or a country house hotel.

You can definitely visualise the day and how it's going to go.

It's quite spectacular to walk around and see.

If Tom chooses to go a bit relaxed and off the wall,

I hope it's not too much.

I really like it, it's nice.

This empty tent would cost him half his budget, but Tom is smitten.

Something like this is fantastic,

a little bit different and I'd happily have it.

It's something I'd like to have.

Now all he needs is somewhere to pitch it. Should be a doddle.

We'd like to erect a yurt.

It's like a Mongolian tent, basically.

But not everyone's as keen as Tom on the yurts.

No way at all, then?

Mongolian tent. It's a yurt, like a Mongolian tent.

It's not something I'd be allowed to do?

You don't do that at all? No possibility whatsoever?

That's a big fat no. This is getting off to a cracking start(!)

While Tom is looking for a patch of grass to pitch his tent,

Lotty has a rather grander green in mind for her reception.

It would be perfect.

She and chief bridesmaid Laura are visiting Bowood House,

an exclusive golf resort.

Really lovely, especially with the sun out.

You can imagine everyone drinking Pimms on the terrace, sat around.

-Yeah.

-It's lovely.

The building is really important -

architecture and being inside a beautiful building -

but the view, the grounds...

Golf courses are the most beautiful surroundings,

simply because of all the grass being so short

and you can see the trees and everything else around you.

It'll be suitable for her train.

I could get the lawn mower across.

Tom is currently in the rough.

Still, at least he'll be allowed to erect his yurt

at Bullock Farm Fishing Lakes.

Do we have to get portaloos in?

I think with 150 guests, there's going to be queues.

We haven't got a lot of money so I was just thinking 30 buckets.

How does that sound? Just like the Mongolians used to do it.

Yeah, Lotty's going to love it(!)

I can just visualise it. Imagine getting in a horse-drawn carriage

all the way down there and leading you up.

-That'd be lovely.

-Beautiful.

A big grand entrance,

big open doors, grand ceilings, everything, walking in.

This makes you feel like you're arriving to your very...

grand stately home.

It wouldn't be everyone that gets married on an island, would it?

This is it. No man's an island!

I'm trying to see whether it would be wide enough.

One yurt with 150 is going to be...

It would go here I guess.

You can just roughly pace it.

Tom's huge Mongolian tent might just fit between the two streams,

-but his guests had better go easy on the champers.

-About 14 metres.

There's just not enough room, is there?

Tom's not giving up yet.

He's heading to Chew Valley Reservoir, south of Bristol,

to find a big enough plot for his yurt.

-Absolutely beautiful, mate.

-That's a nice view all round.

That's what you're looking for. Something just steps off the page

and that's how Lotty's going to feel

when she comes here and pulls up in that car.

It's going to be quality, proper good.

It's a beautiful spot,

but other than the view, it's not got a lot.

Pretty struck with it so far.

You've found your venue. I think you've picked well.

And you wouldn't believe the price of grass these days.

-You're looking at £2,000 plus VAT.

-Right, OK.

We expect the site cleared by yourselves afterwards.

You offer the portaloos and arrange that within the price

and the connection for the electricity, as well?

No, we don't do any of that.

All we do is you pay us for the site and everything else - toilets,

generator, lighting, decorations, it's all down to yourselves.

-And is there...?

-More hard work for you.

Absolutely. Is there any wiggle room on that price?

-No, I've given you the rock bottom.

-Yeah. OK.

That told you, boys!

I love the venue.

-Same as you.

-I definitely do.

I can't help the overriding feeling, 2,350 is very expensive

-for what's essentially a field with a fantastic view.

-Yeah.

So the search continues.

Next up, Priston Mill.

It's got toilets, it's even got electricity,

but will they let Tom turn it into a campsite?

Is there any way, if possible, maybe erecting some sort of marquee?

You can have a marquee but I'd say it's not necessary.

They're quite expensive.

So Tom is discovering.

It's a really lovely feature.

-The chefs are just prepping these for the weekend.

-Nice!

There's no need to put on a DIY wedding here.

We've our own in-house team, chefs, front-of-house staff.

It may not be his tent, but it's certainly slick.

This is set up fairly typical style for a wedding breakfast.

Everything is provided - the tables, catering - as well?

In terms of organisation, we can have all the reception

and the wedding party organised probably in an hour and a half.

-Right, OK.

-It's very easy.

Not for Tom, it isn't.

He's got a dilemma on his hands.

Priston Mill can provide food, drink and a roof for just over £5,000 -

a grand less than his empty dream yurt.

It looks like it's going to be too expensive.

I don't want to let go of it completely, but...

You've tried your best, mate.

I've been right here with you.

-Maybe if we were party planners, but we're not.

-This is so tough!

I thought it would be we just ring a few people, yeah,

we'll get it sorted and we've got a bit of a budget, no problem.

My God, this is hard work! I'm not used to giving up on ideas.

Usually I generally try to stick to it, but...

Priston Mill, which is a place that I know you liked...

I know it's not your first choice outside of the yurts.

Priston Mill is ticking the right boxes.

It ain't a compromise. The outside space is fantastic.

Deal done.

Tom's yurt dream has turned out to be a pipe dream.

But when it comes to the ceremony, he's only thinking of Lotty.

I've set my eyes on this church

due to the reason that it means so much to Lotty.

To get the church for our wedding is quite crucial

Backwell Church in North Somerset

has special significance to Lotty and her family.

She used to go there regularly with her mum,

so I think she feels she may

have her mum in spirit around with her on the day.

Ultimately, everything else falls in around getting the church,

so it'd be really disappointing if it didn't happen.

The church is full of memories

for Lotty, her sister Angela and Auntie Lisa.

We always thought I'd get married in Backwell Church.

-Come on, Mum. We need a miracle.

-THEY LAUGH

Come on, Mum. Swing it, please. Swing it for us.

It's lovely here, Charlotte. It's perfect.

Angela was 16 when she attended her mother's funeral here.

It feels surreal being here again, though, for me.

It does for a long time.

Last time I was here, I was sat here for a whole different reason.

It was a completely different day.

It's just got so much history and...so many good memories.

It's kind of peaceful, isn't it?

I think it's nice sometimes to go back and revisit after.

It kind of puts a lot of things to rest for you.

I guess, in a way, it would feel like she was here, as well.

Yeah. Oh God, yeah.

-It's like a part of her is here.

-Yeah.

From childhood and being brought up here.

One thing she always used to say was that she would

try and battle the cancer cos she wanted to see us walk down the aisle.

She will.

She will.

Anyway, let's start to think about the happy occasion now.

Yeah. Try and think about good things.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be upset.

-It's all right.

-One of us was going to anyway!

It's good to get this feeling done now. hopefully we'll come back here

and know your mum's around

and she'll be with us in heart and spirit.

-It would be Charlotte's day and it'll make it a happy one.

-Yeah.

But Lotty will only be happy if she gets her church

and it's not a given.

A little bit panicked at the moment. I left a message with the Reverend.

It's hit me that it's quite a pivotal thing.

If this doesn't happen, then...

I'm kind of the stuck a little bit

and basically the whole plan is scuppered for the church.

It's quite crucial that the Reverend will give me a ring fairly soon.

Fingers crossed and God willing.

Lotty's dream hangs in the balance.

But with 11 days to the wedding, Tom has other pressing matters -

his all-important suit.

I really like that, this navy. I like that, basically.

He may not have dressed his bride yet,

but he knows what he wants to wear on the big day.

Quite fitted, quite tailored, not skinny fit,

but quite a tailored suit.

My brother is metrosexual, I suppose.

Do you have it with the spots?

He's a bricklayer, but spends his Saturday shopping

for the latest trends in fashion and stuff when everybody else

will be out playing or watching football on a Saturday afternoon.

# I'm too sexy for my cat

# Too sexy... #

Lotty and bridesmaid Laura know how tricky it is to please clotheshorse Tom.

He'll say I want this and this.

They'll go, "I've got the perfect suit." They'll find it for him...

I quite like that.

..and then he'll go, "But the waistband is just a bit too high,"

or, "That centimetre of the knee."

Not too tight, no.

It just goes right the way up and it's very baggy round the back area.

I'm so glad I won't be there!

Let's go and get hitched.

Something that's not suiting Tom is news about Lotty's dream church.

Neither Tom or Lotty live in the parish,

which is making things more complicated.

The church is of paramount importance to Lotty and the idea of that not being

able to be green lit for whatever reason, is a crying shame.

We don't know if it's definitely not.

I'd like to remain positive about it and not completely write it off just yet.

For Lotty, ignorance is bliss.

She's taking a trip down memory lane with Auntie Lisa.

We used to come down here regularly on the weekends,

get the ponies out and she was nagged for lessons all the time.

It's nice to see her take us back and remember all those things.

I know she'd like to have a horse and carriage on her wedding day,

that would be fantastic if that was a part of the dream.

It's not exactly the kind of horsepower that the boys have in mind.

Tom is determined to bring the great outdoors into his wedding somehow.

-So, you both VW fans?

-Yeah. I do a bit of surfing.

I'm not going to confess to being amazing at it, but I definitely do a bit of surfing. I try my best.

BRMS or MP5s. The choice is yours.

I quite like the ones that's on already. I do like them.

Lotty's requirements for her wheels are also very specific.

I quite like the idea of it being more like a cart,

so a very walnut-coloured cart with some dark horses.

You've got the foot soldiers driving the horse and cart and they're in

the traditional top black hats and red and black and grey suits.

Not much room for footmen in there.

Look how clean the engine is!

This one's a little bit more nippy. It's a more sporty engine in.

I prefer this one. Yeah, I love this one.

Most brides like this one.

Not me.

THEY LAUGH

I'm not going to lie, I'm sold.

To be honest.

-You're absolutely welcome.

-You've made my day. Thanks so much.

With half his budget gone, Tom's wedding plans have been overshadowed by news of the church.

Tom's had to provide a paper trail of documents to the church

to prove that Lotty used to live in the parish.

-Good morning, Reverend.

-Hi, Tom. Good to see you again.

But will it be enough?

We've got the church, which is cracking. I'm over the moon.

Everything's going to plan on this side of things, anyway.

It's now eight days before the wedding and although Tom's suited and booted,

he still hasn't tackled the biggie.

Hiya. It looks like there's been a snowdrift in here.

Fortunately he knows what he wants.

-I quite like the 1950s look, the fishtail sort of dresses.

-OK.

Quite tightly fitted.

Quite plain as well. Not too much bling going on.

So we don't want too much bling going on.

-That one there?

-This one here?

Yeah, there's not too much going on on there, but it's plain enough as well.

While the groom makes himself perfectly plain,

Auntie Lisa and bridesmaid Laura are indulging

-Lotty in a spot of fantasy wedding dress shopping.

-I like the diamante.

That is a body in there!

And it turns out it's not just the groom who has strong opinions.

It's like a net curtain. That's like wearing a bikini.

Dracula, that is. It's just horrid.

It's like crepe paper, isn't it?

Oh, my God! No! I don't mean that horribly, but obviously one man's

champagne is another man's vinegar, and that definitely is balsamic.

I like that one. Because it's simple.

-If you go for a plain dress, it kind of accentuates natural beauty anyway, I think.

-Yeah.

Yes, Tom, but there's simple and then there's plain dull.

Oh, lovely.

I like how it sparkles when you move.

I love the diamante. I love the diamante!

I like all the sparkly bits on the front.

I'm not demure and plain and straight and boring.

I want a dress that just goes... Raah!

Tom's looking at dresses that go, "Erm, excuse me."

I'm not too keen on the detail on the shoulder.

It's just literally hand-sewn on which can come off.

So we can lose this if you wanted to.

Yeah. I'm a bit wary of the big sort of brooch.

So if you wanted that to come off, then it could be just unstitched.

I don't want loads of bling and all that sort of stuff because I think she's pretty enough.

Pretty she is, but she's going to be pretty disappointed if Tom doesn't get her any sparkle.

Sadly, he's on the search for something even plainer.

Fairly plain, to a point. And without the sort of detailed bits of, um...

Not too fussy?

Yeah, not too fussy. Definitely not a meringue or anything like that.

-Too much?

-Probably a bit too much on that one.

Any plainer and you'll have her in jeans and a T-shirt.

Probably not too much on the detail.

That gives quite a bit of fish-tail shape.

I like that one and it's plain as well.

And there's so many possibilities with plain.

Plain shoes, plain bag...

Where does she keep all her stuff?

-Has she got a bumbag underneath her dress?

-What stuff?

Well, you know, paying for drinks...

If you're too much of a dry bread to get your new bride in, I'll take care of her. All night long.

I'll make sure she's kept in liquor.

Oh, wow! I like it.

Absolutely.

This is definitely the dress. The thing I love about it. Where do I start? Buttons.

Beautiful buttons. All the bling. Look at the bling.

I just didn't think I would ever wear something this massive.

But it's absolutely stunning.

When I look down, I just think,

"Blingy!"

Oh, you look lovely. You look lovely.

It's just what I imagined you to look like.

It's lovely, isn't it?

You look really beautiful.

-Don't you cry.

-It's all right!

Tom's narrowed down his options to two simple duvets - I mean dresses -

with very little detail and not a glimmer of sparkle.

I'm going to be going for that one.

I really like that. Hopefully Lotty will as well.

Don't feel bad. You can come back and try again next year, but for now, the winner of Bride Idol...

Woo-hoo!

That dress there, again, you could bring it in and what have you.

-I'm sold. Hopefully she will be as well.

-I'm sure she will.

Somehow I doubt it!

Will Tom show any better knowledge of his bride's taste when it comes to the entertainment?

What about if he got your dad's barbershop band?

That would be...stunning.

So that's different. I didn't even think about that. Well done!

Lotty's parents both used to sing in barbershop choirs.

It was an important part of family life.

And Tom has a special favour to ask Lotty's dad.

So, I was hoping that you might be able to help me with maybe getting the barbershop...

involved somewhere along the lines? I know she likes it

and she speaks about it a lot as well.

We haven't practised for years and haven't sang for a while now,

but it's still there, if you want to do it.

Say you did get married in a church, it's quite nice to have a choir, isn't it?

A choir's great, but Barbershop to me is there...

Me and her, Mum and Angela, we used to make a quartet...

out of us and sing together in the front room sometimes.

-Really?

-We had a little quartet going. It was quite good.

-I don't actually know if I'd be able to cope, actually.

-It would be very tearful.

-Well thanks, Dave. Appreciate it.

-That's all right.

-I don't know if I could cope with the barbershop. I'd get too upset.

-I know.

See you later. Cheers, mate.

We'll be all crying.

That's perfect.

In the last two weeks, Tom's spent 10 grand.

He's agonised over his venue, wrangled over rings...

It was definitely that one a minute ago.

..and fussed over flowers.

But what's on his mind today is whether his hen is going to like the surprise he's planned.

I've sent them to a recording studio,

-so they can all lay down a track together and...

-Do they sing?

HENS: # Here we go, here we go... #

Lotty used to be part of a covers band and also an originals band as well.

So she loves singing and she loves writing music as well.

She's very good at as well.

What we're going to do today, if you haven't already worked it out,

is we're going to sing some songs.

Oh, my God!

-And we're going to record them.

-Shit.

-Yeah. OK.

-And we're going to record them and put them on a CD.

He really doesn't know me at all, does he? Oh, my God!

I've heard that you quite like singing.

No. Not at all.

I think she... I think the lady doth protest too much.

I'm really starting to panic now.

No. I've been paid to do all the sort of stuff,

this is not something I'd want to do on my hen do.

-This is for fun, though.

-Oh, my God!

I do not want everybody hearing how I sing.

ALL: Aw!

What's wrong? You're an amazing singer!

The thing is, I don't know whether she'd be too keen on the fact

that I've put her in that situation with her friends, "all eyes on me".

But I don't know.

-CRIES:

-It sounded so bad last time in the studio, I don't want to do it.

Don't make me do it. I really, really don't like it.

I don't want to do it.

I sound really ungrateful and I don't want to be ungrateful.

But it really knocked my confidence last time

and I don't want to do it because it's so soul-destroying.

I'm probably wrong. She loves the attention, so she might be all right.

Why do you think I don't sing in bands any more?

-Cos I'm not any good.

-That's not true, Charlotte.

I haven't been in the studio since I had that shock, you know?

I thought, "This is what I sound like,

"what on Earth am I even doing with myself? I'm just such a fool."

No, cos I heard your tapes and they're really good.

-But you love me.

-I do love you. You know that.

There's a few bottles of champagne laid on anyway,

so I would have thought that would get them in the spirit.

I'm really sorry, everybody.

I didn't mean to have a total prima donna moment. I'm fine.

I just absolutely freaked because I'd closed the door on all of that

cos I didn't think I was any good.

Here's the song. It goes like this.

-MUSIC PLAYS

-You did, even for someone who was crying...

# I got my first real six string

# Bought it at the five and dime

# Played it till my fingers bled

# Was the summer of '69... #

Woo!

That was my bit.

# Had a band and we tried real hard

# Jimmy quit, Charlotte got married

# I should have known we'd never get far... #

-I'm getting married!

-# Oh, when I look back now

# That summer seemed to last forever

# Those were the best days of my life

# Oh, yeah

# Back in the summer of '69

# Oh, yeah

# Me and my baby in '69... #

This experience has really made me evaluate my whole life and what is important to me.

And the only thing that is really important to me are the people I love,

and obviously Tom.

CHEERING

Tom is my world and he really makes out to himself...

That's cos I'm talking about him.

-..that he's silly and an idiot, and he's not.

-VOICE CRACKS

He's really intelligent.

SINGING

Yeah, proper Einstein.

# Cider, cider... #

Joe has organised a typical Bristolian bash for his brother's stag,

featuring '70s West Country hit band the Wurzels.

# I got a brand new combine harvester... #

I'm probably going to go for a martini. That's lovely. Yeah.

We'll mix up the muffins a little bit, I guess.

There's a lot of Bristolian lads here, so I think we'll have a bit of a laugh.

Mix up the muffins?

He's even got a VIP backstage pass.

Let's have a hug. Let's have a hug.

Get in, come on now!

-Me and the Wurzels.

-Before he gets married, have you got any advice?

Well, he's the best man for that.

I'm coming up 50 years.

-50 years of marriage?!

-50 years next May.

-You don't look a day over 21.

-Just keep your powder dry,

that's all I can say.

-Cheers, boys.

-Cheers!

-Cheers!

-Good luck.

-Well, thank you very much.

# Oh, what a beauty

# I've never seen one as big as that before. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We'd like to dedicate that song to a young man who's getting married on Friday.

HE CHEERS

Tom Simms across there, we dedicate that song to you, boy.

Yo!

It's a beautiful thing. Happy stag do, brother.

CHEERING

-ALL:

-# I am a cider drinker

# I drinks it all of the day... #

I've had an absolute belter of an evening.

I've enjoyed myself. Got my mates around me.

I'm missing her loads, do you know what I mean?

I just can't wait to see her on the day, coming down the aisle.

WHISTLING

With four days to go, Tom isn't in the clear yet.

He still has to get bridesmaid dresses for Laura,

Lou and Lotty's sister, Angela.

-Have you got a colour scheme?

-Either peaches or pinks. Not bright pink.

He's budgeted 350 quid for three bridesmaid dresses.

But Angela's not sure.

I would be more comfortable in a suit, doing the Ange thing.

Make that two bridesmaid dresses and a suit.

I'm just gutted I can't carry it off.

I put it on and I just look like I'm in drag.

We've got a trouble-maker already, we're five minutes in!

Tom's got his work cut out for him.

What sort of suit jacket size are we looking for, Angela?

-They're getting brighter.

-Just tone it down a little bit.

Luckily, this man could shop for England.

We'll get you wrapped up in a suit pretty easy.

It should be quite straightforward. There's not that many styles to diverse from.

How little she knows, eh, Tom?

-Look at that.

-Now, that would be really cool to wear out somewhere funky.

It's like Beetlejuice.

They always sit slightly differently because my little blessings are in way.

I'm lucky. Charlotte got the blessed side of that part of the family.

Oh, yeah! LAUGHTER

I got the handful. That's nice in the arms.

It's too long in the arm.

It's proving to be tougher than he thought.

Let's move on.

Tom shelves the suit for now. Perhaps he'll find dresses easier?

Don't like that one. You look like you're going to an eight-year-old disco.

The way it flares out and everything.

I don't know if I'm a fan of the shoulder-piece. I think it's a bit mental.

I quite like them. How much are they?

-Right, yeah, £150.

-Crikey!

Go and just hang them back up and forget all about those two.

I think I'm losing the will to live.

He's also losing track of his pink colour scheme.

You wouldn't think of grey particularly as a dress for a bridesmaid.

Not something that you would traditionally choose, is it?

Yeah. Just generally getting a bit despondent, just thinking,

"We'll just put those girls in anything now, and just make do."

Unbelievable! The shopaholic's had his fill of shopping.

Suddenly, bricklaying seems so much more straightforward.

We just can't seem to find the right style and colour all in one dress.

I thought it was going to be much easier.

But it's hard and I'm panicking a bit now.

Where else have we got to go? Nowhere else, have we?

Four hours in, and he still has no dresses, no suits, no nothing.

It's cut for a man, so that's probably why it might be pushing out there a little bit.

Hang on. Let me do my best man pose.

Yeah, I think it's a really nice suit, actually.

One down, two more to go.

You feel smart, you feel better on the day, don't you?

You feel like you're not letting anybody down, especially when it's your sister's wedding.

The last thing you want is to let your sister down on her big day.

Tom doesn't want to let his bride down either.

But an hour before the shop's close, he's running out of time.

We've got this kind of style here for you. It's quite Audrey Hepburn, quite chic.

Hold on a minute, haven't we seen this dress somewhere before?

And wasn't it too expensive?

Just hang it back up, all right, and then forget all about those two.

-I like it.

-Yeah.

I quite like the pleats you've got at the front.

I think they fit quite well, so, how much?

The dresses are £150 each for you.

Might have gone over a bit, but that's all right.

They look great, so we're going to keep them.

I think we're done on the dress front.

Thankfully. It's been a long day. We got there in the end.

In total, it's been an eight-hour-shoppathon.

I didn't think it was going to be easy, anyway.

But probably not this hard.

In need of some time to recharge his batteries, Tom heads for the surf.

It gives him space to reflect on being away from Lotty.

It's quite lonely not having Lotty around.

I guess, I take it for granted she's around all the time, and what have you.

I've been very used to spending every day with Lotty.

It's made me realise how important she is in my life, and what have you.

Obviously, the main reason I'm getting to married to her really

is because I want to spend every day with her.

Determined to keep his outdoor theme alive,

Tom is hand-making place settings in the shape of leaves.

I do need to keep my mind occupied a little bit because,

you know, I'm missing her quite a bit.

-I can't wait to see her.

-Hang on a minute.

You were telling me how brilliant it was to have me around and, "It's been too long,

"I wish you didn't live in London and you'd be hanging around in Bristol."

Mate, I love you being around here,

but it's weird waking up next to you every morning.

You don't wake up next to me.

You absolute weirdo. We're not Burt and Ernie.

We've got two different rooms.

Let me get on with my leaf-making.

Before I start blubbering.

Yeah, get on with your leaf-making, you big sap.

With only three days to go, Lotty finally receives her invitation.

-Oh, my God.

-It's got Lotty on it.

-I don't want to open it.

SHE LAUGHS

Tom Simms would like to invite Lotty Hart to our wedding.

Your carriage awaits at 12:30pm sharp.

Carriage! Your carriage awaits.

Be ready for 12.30.

To be whisked away in your carriage.

Amazing, a real carriage.

It's very plain. It's very, very Tom, isn't it?

Very minimalist, very plain.

So, hopefully, our wedding won't be too plain.

Don't speak too soon.

It's the day before the wedding and you're about to see your frock.

I'm feeling quite apprehensive today.

It might make me think, what's the whole wedding going to be like

because the invitations were plain, and if the dress is wrong, I'll be thinking, "Oh, no.

"Oh, no." Fingers crossed.

-Thank you.

-Hiya.

-Hello.

-All right?

Open your eyes. That's exactly what I thought Tom would choose.

Oh, my God. OK. Ooh.

-Do you like the look of it?

-No. No.

But, I'll try it on and it might look lovely on.

It's one of those dresses, sometimes you have to see on

before you can appreciate it.

It's just extremely plain, very plain, isn't it?

OK, I'll try it on.

We'll take a pew and you try your dress on.

-I'm sure it'll look nicer on.

-I think it will.

I think she'll look lovely in it.

Getting choked up thinking about it. I'm trying not to do that today.

I know that, like, how much her mum wanted to be here.

And see this moment.

-I've got that privilege in her place.

-Yes.

THEY GIGGLE

Silly shoes.

-Oh!

-Oh!

You look lovely!

-Charlotte, you look stunning. Stunning.

-Gorgeous.

Yeah. It's just extremely plain, isn't it?

I love the shape at the front?

I'm pushed in. Look how flattened I am.

I don't like straps because I'm too restricted and I feel like I want to get them off.

I know you're doing that and telling me they'd fall off.

-But you don't have to...

-That's how I feel.

After ten minutes, I want to get it off. I'm like "get it off me".

-Cos I'm like that.

-I know it's hard.

-It's like someone's put me in a straightjacket.

-It looks stunning. It's lush.

The dress does you justice.

Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I am too bloody chavvy.

Maybe I never know when I should wear something more classy.

Maybe that's the problem.

Um...

With her hair tied up, the girls try to see what can be done.

Is there anything else...?

He's not going to get me a tiara because that involves bling.

He was just thinking, "I don't like the fact that she wears diamantes."

That's what Tom was thinking. Any money.

-Would you like to wear a tiara?

-I'd rather have a different dress.

Auntie Lisa thinks that a sparkly necklace will turn Lotty around,

but will it be enough?

I feel like a bloody T Rex.

-It's too tight at the moment.

-Ow.

-I just want to get it off me.

-I do think you look fab in it.

-I would ring Tom.

-I can just choose not to wear it at all.

Is it uncomfortable?

It's uncomfortable, it's restrictive. I don't like it.

It's plain. It's boring. I'm going to walk down the aisle

and people will go, "Oh, she's in a white dress."

This is all the things you said you wouldn't do if you didn't like the dress.

I'll walk down the aisle in jeans and a T-shirt.

I'll go, "I'm sorry, mate, but..."

Is there any way anything can be put on it?

-If we could speak to the seamstress and see.

-Yeah.

If that will make you happy.

OK. Yeah.

But nothing can be altered without Tom's approval.

Can you say to him, "It's way too plain, sunshine."

-Way too plain.

-Those words?

-"It's way too plain, sunshine?"

-Yeah.

Laura has to break the news to Tom.

PHONE RINGS

-Hello.

-What will he make of her proposal?

Basically, she's tried the dress on and just not very happy that it's really plain.

Because initially, she was like, "I want to change it to something

"that's got diamantes and bling and stuff all over it." So...

That sounds really classy(!)

She is going to be adding some sort of motifs and bling and stuff on it.

-I don't know if that's OK?

-Motif?

-Can we do that?

I thought it would have been nice to move away from, like, the less classy sort of side of things with, like

diamantes and everything else going on all over it, but if she wants to put her chav bling on it...

-Chav title on it.

-Fine, fine. That's fine.

I'm going to walk down the aisle like that, like a chav.

She's obviously liking the diamantes, or whatever they are, probably little bits of plastic glass.

If it's something she wants to put on the dress, that's fine.

I just hope it don't cheapen the dress or make it look a little bit rubbish.

We've got a bit of a diamantes tummy. And put your necklace and that on with it.

I think there's a fine line between glamorous and just garish.

The man who prides himself on his taste has failed his bride.

Over at the venue, maybe he'll do a better job with the interior decor.

-Oh, it's going to look good.

-Move over, Laurence Llewelyn Bowen. Tom Simms is in the Mill.

He's gone all out and bought, yes, floor tiles to decorate his tables.

Guess we can have the apple as well.

Time for his piece de resistance.

Hand-crafted name-tags stuck to apples.

With the apples, it's just bringing that sort of rustic, but getting a bit of colour to the table.

It's whether or not just have...

-Everything has to be millimetre perfect.

-But let's have a look at that a minute.

What do the decorating committee think?

I think we'll go with that, then.

The big day that Lotty's mother so wanted to see is finally here.

But all is not well with the bride.

I can't stop being sick.

They'll be like, "Do you, Tom..." And I'll be like, "Hang on a minute."

I feel like... I had to answer the door earlier on and say excuse me.

Hopefully, Tom's first surprise, a professional hairdresser, will lift her spirits.

-Are you excited to see him?

-Yes. I am.

-has it felt like a lifetime?

I'm going to shut up!

Tom has given strict instructions for the style he wants. A natural tussled look.

Oh, wow, it's curly.

And you're going to be having a flower in there.

-There's nothing else going to be up?

-Would you prefer more up?

I tried that dress on and I think it has to be off my... it has to be up.

So, it's back to the drawing board and Lotty gets her way with a more traditional wedding up do.

Are you having that bottom bit down or is that going to be up?

-That's going to kind of...

-Be like that.

-Yeah.

-Not sure?

Yeah, it's just a bit high for me.

-Yeah. I guess.

-It's not a great start to the wedding day, but there's nothing the groom can do.

Me and Joe's worked really hard over the past three weeks to get here.

Now's the time to just enjoy everything. If things go wrong, they go wrong.

Let's get going, then.

But Tom's got one more trick up his sleeve.

Oh, they're lovely!

Oh, he's got diamantes on it.

Oh, yeah! That's bling!

Don't start.

-You've got sparkles.

-Yay!

I couldn't sleep a wink.

I kept waking up going, "Huh!

"What time is it? You haven't got to get up yet."

I know I'm going to lose the plot.

and end up crying all day.

She'll put that dress on, and that will finish me off.

Lotty is ready.

Sparkles and all.

It's time to show her dad.

You look beautiful. Lovely.

I love your dress. It's great.

-Don't you start crying.

-I'm not going to cry. Don't let me cry.

-Oh, you look lovely.

-Her bridesmaids are also ready.

Just trying to figure out how to make a paper aeroplane out of a cravat.

Well, almost.

-How's that?

-Let's see?

-Isn't it meant to be wider?

-I don't know.

Look, I've got bling on my... Oh, I'm all... I'm all frightened.

Oh, you look lush. Oh, my God!

-Those dresses are lovely.

-Absolutely gorgeous. Yes, it's lovely.

Oh, my God, he's chosen pink. He's chosen pink!

You look amazing. You look beautiful.

I hope I don't look a...chav.

No, you don't. You look absolutely amazing.

All she needs now is her carriage.

Here comes the horse power.

Oh, my God.

This is Tom all over, this is.

Oh, my God! It's not very elegant, is it?

Still, at least there's a footman.

-Where can I sit? Up here?

-Watch your head, Princess.

My very own little camper van.

Bye.

She still doesn't know that Tom's got the church that means so much to her.

It looks like you might have got you wish.

We're on the right route.

I don't want to count my chickens yet.

I seem to have lost my breath all of a sudden.

Oh, my God, he's got the church!

Oh, my goodness. I'm just totally shocked.

I just can't breathe.

I'm just totally, totally shocked.

I didn't think in a million years he would be able to get the church.

Got it, sis!

I'm so proud of you.

Come on, then.

BRIDAL MARCH PLAYS

We say a very, very warm welcome to your families,

to your friends who've come to witness you declare your love, one for the other.

Thomas Simms, will you take Charlotte Susan Hart to be your wife...

-I will.

-Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her?

Wait.

Forsaking all others, be faithful to her, as long as you both shall live?

I will.

I, Charlotte Susan Hart.

-Take you Thomas Simms.

-Take you Thomas Simms.

-To be my husband.

-To be my husband.

To have and to hold.

To have and to hold.

From this day forward.

From this day forward.

Till death us do part.

Till death us do part.

I therefore proclaim that they are husband and wife.

It was so emotional for me because I just kept thinking how much, how proud... I knew you'd do this to me.

How proud her mum would be to be here and see her get married.

And she looked beautiful today. She absolutely looked stunning.

It felt like it's our first date, I didn't know whether it was OK to hold your hand.

I didn't know whether it was OK to kiss you.

-I was trying to behave myself in the church.

-So far, so good?

-Yes.

-Including the ring?

-Yes, I love the ring. Let's see yours?

-I like it.

Yeah. It's lush.

-I like... I don't know.

-Do you feel like a man? Like your dad?

Yeah. I feel like a proper bloke now.

Hello. How are you today?

-Very well, thank you. I just got married.

-Congratulations.

-Thanks very much.

-Pleasure.

-Will you help me get out of the car?

Of course I will, darling.

But, what will Lotty make of Tom's unique interior design?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Wow.

D'you like the cakes?

That is...very colourful.

Did you choose that?

-Do you like it?

-Where did the green come from?

-Look around, it's all green.

Oh, I like your favours.

I love you. That is so sweet.

That is lovely. And it is very plain white like I thought it would be.

But, for some reason, it's not... It's still very intimate. You've...

Oh, my God, you're just... Why the bloody hell are you a builder?

Why aren't you an interior designer?

I just thought he'd be concentrating more on how he looked.

But it sounds like he's actually had a real epic of a mission.

And that room is just so intimate and beautiful.

I just think he's actually done a much better job than me.

Than I could ever do.

HARMONIOUS SINGING

Lotty's dad has been true to his word.

The barbershop choir is making a very special appearance.

She seems to be really happy with everything. And, really, that's all I wanted to happen.

And I feel so far, I've kind of achieved that.

So, I'm a happy man, really.

It was done to please Lotty.

And that's all I set out to do. I don't think anything's changed.

I think I'll be going back to bricklaying. Because it seems an easier life.

Please be upstanding for the beautiful bride and groom.

It's fair to say you've never been a pushover.

Or a 'yes' girl. But tonight, hopefully, you might do both.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

You made me the happiest and most completed man when you said yes

to marrying me on my birthday last year. I love you, Lotty.

APPLAUSE

For Mr and Mrs Simms!

CHEERING

He could not have picked better. To every detail, he has got it nailed.

I do love Tom to bits, yeah, so I'm really, really proud that I can call him my brother-in-law, oh, my God.

-My brother-in-law.

-I think he's done everything beautifully.

I couldn't be any prouder of him.

My brother is, without a shadow of a doubt, my best friend in the world.

And all his strengths, I think, have come through in Technicolor.

I was so worried you were going to have me on Clevedon Pier,

-or something, with like, fish and chips, and a big tent.

-A tent?

Now, who would have thought of that?

# When I'm feeling blue

# All I have to do Is take a look at you.

# Then I'm not so blue

# When you're close to me... #

I'm not going to congratulate myself, pat myself on the back and go,

"Wow, I'm amazing." But... But...wow, what a job, eh?

-Oh, my God, you've really, really gone all out.

-Yeah.

I love you so much.

Next time, Simon and Keighley.

She's going to kill me. Vegas, baby!

I don't want no tack, nothing trashy.

-If I get that wrong, she'll go ape.

-Get me on the phone, I'll tell him what a bitch is.

-Pissed off isn't the word.

-Oh, God, I've screwed up.

Why would the man I love do this?

He's spoilt her wedding day.

You've absolutely broken my heart.

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