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This programme contains some strong language. | 0:00:02 | 0:00:05 | |
Five years, 48 brave brides. | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
48 game-on grooms. | 0:00:08 | 0:00:10 | |
Dozens of dress disasters. | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
-Don't panic. -And one near miss. | 0:00:12 | 0:00:16 | |
-Please, just get on the plane. -I'm not coming. 'Game over.' | 0:00:16 | 0:00:21 | |
Now we're back for a whole new roller coaster ride | 0:00:22 | 0:00:27 | |
as 12 more blushing brides leave the biggest day of their lives | 0:00:27 | 0:00:32 | |
in the hands of the men they love. | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
-The grooms get three weeks. -No way. | 0:00:36 | 0:00:39 | |
-And £12,000. -12 Gs, man. -Oh, my God. | 0:00:39 | 0:00:43 | |
-You ready? -Born ready, mate. | 0:00:43 | 0:00:45 | |
And their brides get no say in how it's spent. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:49 | |
-I just don't want to do this any more. -So, saddle up for tears. | 0:00:49 | 0:00:52 | |
He's not going to get the right one. | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
-Tantrums. -Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?! | 0:00:54 | 0:00:58 | |
And total meltdowns. | 0:00:58 | 0:01:00 | |
I can't, I can't do anything. | 0:01:02 | 0:01:05 | |
Tonight, daredevil John wants to wow his guests | 0:01:05 | 0:01:08 | |
by throwing his bride from 10,000 ft. | 0:01:08 | 0:01:10 | |
Jackie is skydiving today. Yes! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:14 | |
-But bride, Jackie, doesn't have much of a head for heights. -Oh, my God. | 0:01:14 | 0:01:18 | |
I think John's an arsehole. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
So, will he win her over with Christmas in a working man's club? | 0:01:20 | 0:01:23 | |
Do you think he's put any thought into this? | 0:01:23 | 0:01:26 | |
A commemorative seat in the khazi. | 0:01:26 | 0:01:28 | |
The John and Jackie Memorial Toilet. | 0:01:28 | 0:01:30 | |
And a cake modelled on her least-favourite body part. | 0:01:30 | 0:01:34 | |
-I think he's crossed the line here. -Absolutely livid. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:36 | |
Can this man give this woman... | 0:01:36 | 0:01:38 | |
I'm going to punch him. | 0:01:38 | 0:01:40 | |
..her dream wedding? | 0:01:40 | 0:01:42 | |
Would you honestly do this to me? Honestly? | 0:01:42 | 0:01:44 | |
-Or will it be more of a nightmare? -It could go either way. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
It can only go one way. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:48 | |
What if I say I'm not getting out? | 0:01:48 | 0:01:50 | |
This could be the worst... the worst wedding ever. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:54 | |
Today, 30-year-old Jackie is leaving 29-year-old fiance John | 0:02:06 | 0:02:09 | |
for the next three weeks to let him arrange their wedding. | 0:02:09 | 0:02:13 | |
Have definitely made my bed. Now I just need to lie in it. | 0:02:13 | 0:02:18 | |
John and Jackie both work with young children | 0:02:20 | 0:02:24 | |
and together with their two cats they share a small flat in Kirkintilloch, | 0:02:24 | 0:02:27 | |
an old mining town where John was born and has never left. | 0:02:27 | 0:02:33 | |
I'm probably one of the only ones in Kirky that hasn't had you in the park. | 0:02:33 | 0:02:38 | |
I'm going to stay here for another 29 years and I'll be happy. | 0:02:39 | 0:02:43 | |
Don't think so. | 0:02:43 | 0:02:45 | |
City girl Jackie hails from Glasgow's smart West End | 0:02:45 | 0:02:49 | |
and it's still the only place she'll go for swish nights out. | 0:02:49 | 0:02:52 | |
I would say I was more cosmopolitan than John. | 0:02:52 | 0:02:54 | |
Going to parties, going to nice restaurants and bars and things like that. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:59 | |
While John prefers a pint at his local, | 0:02:59 | 0:03:02 | |
the Kirky Miners' Social Club. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:04 | |
There's all sorts of characters in the Miners' and we just all have a laugh. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:08 | |
It's old guys that have drank there for probably 50 years or more. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
-I'll be one of those guys. -No, you won't. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
But their two worlds collided at the Miners' five years ago | 0:03:14 | 0:03:18 | |
when Jackie stopped by for a friend's party. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
The first time I'd been in Kirkintilloch. | 0:03:20 | 0:03:23 | |
I spotted you when I was sitting down with my friend. I said, "Och, she's lovely." | 0:03:23 | 0:03:27 | |
It then it just went from there. 5½ years on. | 0:03:27 | 0:03:31 | |
Gave up my city life to come and live and be a country bumpkin, basically. | 0:03:31 | 0:03:38 | |
She might have moved to the country, | 0:03:38 | 0:03:40 | |
but trendy Jackie still prides herself on her appearance. | 0:03:40 | 0:03:44 | |
If I'm going on a night out I can get really dressed up | 0:03:44 | 0:03:46 | |
and I really like wearing dresses and high heels and all that stuff. | 0:03:46 | 0:03:51 | |
And John, well, John doesn't. | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
Why wouldn't you want to marry this man? | 0:03:53 | 0:03:56 | |
John does have his own sense of style. | 0:03:57 | 0:04:01 | |
What John would describe as vintage but I'd describe as rubbish. | 0:04:01 | 0:04:04 | |
Not everything has to have something written on it. | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
-Got to be different, Jackie. -You are different. | 0:04:08 | 0:04:11 | |
John certainly is different. | 0:04:11 | 0:04:14 | |
Last Christmas he decided to celebrate Jackie's favourite time of the year | 0:04:14 | 0:04:19 | |
by making his own cards wearing a kitsch jumper and growing a moustache. | 0:04:19 | 0:04:25 | |
So many people just got the card and went, "Right, OK. That's OK." | 0:04:25 | 0:04:29 | |
And then they were like, "Is that them?!" | 0:04:29 | 0:04:33 | |
Which might be funny on a Christmas card, | 0:04:33 | 0:04:35 | |
but not for the biggest day of a girl's life. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:38 | |
He's got plenty of time to be wacky and zany, | 0:04:38 | 0:04:42 | |
but I don't think that that's right for our wedding day. | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
Whereas John has only one rule. | 0:04:45 | 0:04:47 | |
I want to make this wedding something that Jackie would | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
never, ever have expected | 0:04:50 | 0:04:52 | |
and I want her to be just in total shock from start to finish. | 0:04:52 | 0:04:58 | |
So, what hope has Jackie got of being happy on her dream day? | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
Unlucky, dear. | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
This could be the most perfect day or it could be a complete disaster. | 0:05:03 | 0:05:07 | |
It's time to say goodbye. | 0:05:08 | 0:05:11 | |
Hell, how much have you got in this, man? | 0:05:11 | 0:05:14 | |
It might only be three weeks but Jackie's taking the cats. | 0:05:14 | 0:05:17 | |
She wouldn't want to leave John in charge of anything important(!) | 0:05:17 | 0:05:22 | |
-Oh, wait! -See you in three weeks. | 0:05:22 | 0:05:24 | |
We'll be man and wife. | 0:05:24 | 0:05:27 | |
-I'm going to miss you. -I'll miss you, too. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:30 | |
-Bye. -Bye. | 0:05:32 | 0:05:34 | |
The next time she sees him will be the most important day of both their lives. | 0:05:34 | 0:05:39 | |
Going to go in and watch the rest of the football. | 0:05:40 | 0:05:44 | |
Ah, the taste of freedom. | 0:05:44 | 0:05:46 | |
And John's sharing it with his best man, nightclub promoter Cameron. | 0:05:46 | 0:05:50 | |
They've been best mates for six years, | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
so he's happy to help John plan his perfect day. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
Hopefully both of them can be responsible for three weeks. | 0:05:55 | 0:06:00 | |
I don't think that's very much to ask. | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
Before he gets married, before he gets the big thumb coming down on his head, | 0:06:04 | 0:06:07 | |
he's got to live it up. He's not got long left. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:11 | |
All right. | 0:06:11 | 0:06:13 | |
15 miles and a whole other world away in Glasgow's West End, | 0:06:13 | 0:06:17 | |
Jackie and the two cats are settling in with her mum, Carol, | 0:06:17 | 0:06:21 | |
who'll she be staying with for the next three weeks. | 0:06:21 | 0:06:24 | |
It's so nice having you home, even just for a wee short while. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:27 | |
-I love being home. -Aw. -I might not want to leave. | 0:06:27 | 0:06:31 | |
But when a maverick like John is planning your wedding, | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
there's going to be plenty of blue-sky thinking. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:37 | |
If John is thinking outside of the box then... | 0:06:37 | 0:06:45 | |
my brain only allows me to think of nice hotels and places like that, | 0:06:45 | 0:06:51 | |
but who knows what John's brain'll conjure up. | 0:06:51 | 0:06:55 | |
-First of all...sky-dive, right. -Yep. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:59 | |
Looking for Jackie to sky-dive down to the ceremony. | 0:06:59 | 0:07:03 | |
Jackie's never sky-dived, ever in her life and she spoke about it to me. | 0:07:03 | 0:07:07 | |
I did it once when I was 18 | 0:07:07 | 0:07:08 | |
and the adrenaline you get from it is amazing. | 0:07:08 | 0:07:12 | |
Would be funny to get everybody that's in the place to say, | 0:07:12 | 0:07:15 | |
"Can everyone please go back outside for the arrival of the bride?" Then just point up to the sky. | 0:07:15 | 0:07:21 | |
Oh, yeah. That's definitely out of the box. Or plane. | 0:07:21 | 0:07:24 | |
And with the wacky plan hatched, John heads down to his local, the Miners', | 0:07:24 | 0:07:28 | |
for karaoke and what could be a premonition of his wedding night. | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
# All by my self | 0:07:31 | 0:07:37 | |
# Don't want to live All by myself any more | 0:07:38 | 0:07:46 | |
# All by myself | 0:07:47 | 0:07:54 | |
# Don't want to be all by myself... # | 0:07:55 | 0:08:00 | |
-John? -Yo. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:02 | |
-Are you decent? -I'm getting there, I'm just getting ready. | 0:08:02 | 0:08:07 | |
It's the first morning and the boys have an early start. | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
Throwing your bride out of a plane takes planning. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:13 | |
You're not going out like that. Or if you're going like that, I'm not walking about with you. | 0:08:13 | 0:08:18 | |
What's wrong with this? I think it goes. | 0:08:18 | 0:08:20 | |
-Goes with what, though? -The top goes with the trousers. | 0:08:20 | 0:08:23 | |
Almost like they were made for each other. | 0:08:23 | 0:08:26 | |
And is Noel Edmonds going to ask for his jumper back when you finish today? | 0:08:26 | 0:08:31 | |
A quick change later, | 0:08:35 | 0:08:37 | |
the boys head 50 miles into the Scottish countryside to check out | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
every bride's number one wedding essential - a muddy airfield. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:45 | |
-It just looks brilliant, just look at it. -It's amazing. | 0:08:47 | 0:08:51 | |
Can't hear a thing. Can't see a proper building of any sort. | 0:08:51 | 0:08:55 | |
This is a plane that's been used. | 0:08:57 | 0:09:01 | |
Jackie's going to be faced with a 10,000 ft freefall into her wedding ceremony | 0:09:01 | 0:09:06 | |
but that's still not enough pizzazz for showman, John. | 0:09:06 | 0:09:09 | |
-Do you do the smoke off the shoes. -No, we don't do the tandems. | 0:09:09 | 0:09:15 | |
You going to ask him next to do initials? | 0:09:15 | 0:09:17 | |
-"John loves Jackie" in the sky? -Have planes doing love hearts! | 0:09:17 | 0:09:24 | |
So, that's £750 spent on throwing his lucky bride | 0:09:24 | 0:09:28 | |
out of a plane for the very first time. | 0:09:28 | 0:09:32 | |
Yeah, this wedding is definitely going to make an impact. | 0:09:32 | 0:09:35 | |
Nobody'll believe we've pulled this one out of the book. | 0:09:35 | 0:09:39 | |
-No-one will be predicting this. -This looks amazing. -This is a first. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:44 | |
This is, for anybody's wedding, I think. | 0:09:44 | 0:09:46 | |
Today, Jackie and her sole bridesmaid, er, Gary, | 0:09:49 | 0:09:52 | |
are visiting her dream venue in Glasgow's trendy West End. | 0:09:52 | 0:09:57 | |
Best mates for 13 years, | 0:09:57 | 0:10:00 | |
they both share a taste for the finer things in life. | 0:10:00 | 0:10:03 | |
-I'll show you the room where the ceremony can take place. -Thank you. | 0:10:03 | 0:10:06 | |
1 Devonshire Gardens is a hotel to the stars | 0:10:06 | 0:10:09 | |
with Kylie, Justin Timberlake and George Clooney all stopping by. | 0:10:09 | 0:10:14 | |
-So pretty, isn't it? It's all kind of natural. -It's gorgeous. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:20 | |
-It's almost like a stately home. -It's not overstated. -It's so modern. | 0:10:20 | 0:10:25 | |
There's not one element of tack. But you know what they say about a Glasgow wedding? | 0:10:25 | 0:10:30 | |
There's always a fight, so if you get a good bit of grass somewhere. | 0:10:30 | 0:10:34 | |
There'll be no fighting at my wedding. | 0:10:35 | 0:10:39 | |
-Apart from you and John. -Well, yeah. | 0:10:39 | 0:10:42 | |
Ah, glass of champagne in hand, looking out the lovely windows. | 0:10:42 | 0:10:47 | |
It's absolutely gorgeous. | 0:10:47 | 0:10:51 | |
Who knows where I'm going to end up? | 0:10:51 | 0:10:54 | |
Well, John knows. | 0:10:54 | 0:10:55 | |
For this country boy, | 0:10:55 | 0:10:56 | |
there's only one possible venue for his reception. | 0:10:56 | 0:11:00 | |
Yes, it's his beloved local - the Miners'. | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
Well, George Clooney might have stopped by. | 0:11:03 | 0:11:05 | |
You never know. | 0:11:05 | 0:11:07 | |
This is the first choice, cos this is where me and Jackie met. | 0:11:07 | 0:11:10 | |
Pretty glamorous, as well. | 0:11:10 | 0:11:12 | |
-I'm not glamorous. Maybe Jackie. -No, you're definitely not glamorous. | 0:11:14 | 0:11:19 | |
Erm, you know, I'm not. | 0:11:19 | 0:11:21 | |
I don't know if you would call me trendy, would you say I was trendy? | 0:11:21 | 0:11:25 | |
I'd call you many things, but trendy's not one of them! | 0:11:25 | 0:11:28 | |
Erm... So, I think, you know...it doesn't have to be glamorous for me. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:32 | |
The grand function suite would usually be used for bingo nights, | 0:11:40 | 0:11:44 | |
but John's come up with a classy theme to spruce it up. | 0:11:44 | 0:11:47 | |
What better than Jackie's favourite time of year? | 0:11:47 | 0:11:50 | |
-We're going to go for a Christmas tree... -Christmas?! In May? | 0:11:50 | 0:11:54 | |
We'll have all the rainbow tinsel, massive big tree, all looking right for Jackie. | 0:11:54 | 0:12:01 | |
Could have a wee Santa's grotto maybe in the corner, or... | 0:12:01 | 0:12:04 | |
Yeah, I think there's real potential to kind of kit this place out really well and fantastic, you know? | 0:12:04 | 0:12:10 | |
-What's it going to cost us? -My wedding gift to John. | 0:12:12 | 0:12:15 | |
-Oh, there you go... -From the club. | 0:12:15 | 0:12:18 | |
-That's a big help. -That is a big help. | 0:12:18 | 0:12:20 | |
-I suppose for the amount of drink I've spent behind the bar... -Well, I'm thinking of the profits! | 0:12:20 | 0:12:25 | |
So John's got his reception venue for free. | 0:12:25 | 0:12:28 | |
But he still hasn't worked out where he's going to hold the ceremony. | 0:12:28 | 0:12:32 | |
The closest venue to the airfield is Strathallan Castle. So they've gone to take a look. | 0:12:32 | 0:12:37 | |
It's perfect, isn't it? Outstanding. | 0:12:37 | 0:12:40 | |
Cameraman down there, with the kilt and everything and the castle in the background... | 0:12:40 | 0:12:44 | |
The Scottish flag. That's perfect. | 0:12:44 | 0:12:46 | |
-So this is where you would hold the ceremony? -Yes, this is our main ceremony room. | 0:12:46 | 0:12:52 | |
The big mirrors and, just... High ceilings, it's excellent. | 0:12:52 | 0:12:56 | |
-Yeah, there's lots of character. -Yeah. Definitely. -Very traditional, isn't it? | 0:12:56 | 0:13:00 | |
-What's our kind of... -It would be £500. | 0:13:00 | 0:13:03 | |
-£500?! -Mm-hm. -Is that all? | 0:13:03 | 0:13:05 | |
That's fantastic! That's brilliant. | 0:13:05 | 0:13:07 | |
-Deal or no deal(?) -Deal! That's brilliant. | 0:13:07 | 0:13:11 | |
Is it, yeah? Oh, definitely. That's a deal on that one. | 0:13:11 | 0:13:15 | |
That's £500 for the ceremony room. But getting from here to the Miners' for the reception | 0:13:15 | 0:13:20 | |
would mean a 100-mile round trip. | 0:13:20 | 0:13:23 | |
It's not exactly what Jackie has in mind for her wedding day. | 0:13:23 | 0:13:27 | |
I don't want to... You know, the stress for people too, like, be coached into places | 0:13:27 | 0:13:32 | |
and moved about, and... | 0:13:32 | 0:13:34 | |
That's why it's so important that it's somewhere in Glasgow, | 0:13:34 | 0:13:37 | |
and it's somewhere where you can have the full day in the one place. | 0:13:37 | 0:13:40 | |
It might not be Glasgow - | 0:13:41 | 0:13:42 | |
but John could hire this 19th-century castle for the entire day, | 0:13:42 | 0:13:46 | |
keeping the ceremony and the reception together - | 0:13:46 | 0:13:49 | |
which would surely be the sensible thing to do. | 0:13:49 | 0:13:51 | |
So what does that kind of, figure out then for like, | 0:13:51 | 0:13:54 | |
extra for, like, the hiring...? | 0:13:54 | 0:13:56 | |
For everything, erm... would be £5,000. | 0:13:56 | 0:13:59 | |
(Do it!) | 0:13:59 | 0:14:01 | |
That's a step up from the Miners' being free as my wedding present! | 0:14:01 | 0:14:05 | |
But it's obviously a wee bit different! | 0:14:05 | 0:14:07 | |
I just think...it's got privacy, it's got pheasants walking about... | 0:14:07 | 0:14:11 | |
You'd get an amazing game of Cluedo in there, as well. | 0:14:11 | 0:14:14 | |
Miners', Scottish castle... | 0:14:14 | 0:14:16 | |
£500, or five grand? | 0:14:16 | 0:14:19 | |
Going to have to think about it tonight. | 0:14:19 | 0:14:21 | |
Yeah... | 0:14:21 | 0:14:22 | |
He loves me...he loves me not. | 0:14:22 | 0:14:25 | |
He loves me...he loves me not. | 0:14:25 | 0:14:28 | |
Surely even John can see what Jackie would prefer out of the two? | 0:14:28 | 0:14:31 | |
This is the scary thing. If you're thinking like John, where, you know... | 0:14:31 | 0:14:36 | |
what do you think potentially he could book for a wedding venue? | 0:14:36 | 0:14:41 | |
Er...the Miners' Club? | 0:14:41 | 0:14:44 | |
No. He wouldn't... | 0:14:45 | 0:14:47 | |
To be honest, if John was MY other half, I wouldn't trust him. | 0:14:47 | 0:14:51 | |
-Thanks, Gary(!) -No, I wouldn't! | 0:14:51 | 0:14:54 | |
I'm starting to feel a wee bit sick. | 0:14:54 | 0:14:56 | |
Everyone that I talk to seems to think that I'm going to get married in the Miners', and... | 0:14:57 | 0:15:02 | |
I would be absolutely devastated if... | 0:15:02 | 0:15:05 | |
I would be absolutely devastated if he does that. | 0:15:06 | 0:15:09 | |
Because I think that would be... That's just...a joke. | 0:15:09 | 0:15:12 | |
The small-town boy has made his decision. | 0:15:13 | 0:15:17 | |
He's following his heart. | 0:15:17 | 0:15:19 | |
It's important to me that our reception's held somewhere | 0:15:19 | 0:15:22 | |
that means a lot. | 0:15:22 | 0:15:24 | |
It's important that we don't for one day of our life | 0:15:24 | 0:15:27 | |
try and pretend we're something we're not. | 0:15:27 | 0:15:30 | |
PULP: # I wanna live like common people | 0:15:31 | 0:15:34 | |
# I wanna do whatever common people do... # | 0:15:34 | 0:15:37 | |
OK... So the parachute jump isn't the only dive in this wedding, then. | 0:15:37 | 0:15:41 | |
But it IS free - so John has spent £1,750 | 0:15:41 | 0:15:43 | |
on his skydiving Christmas-themed local boozer wedding. | 0:15:43 | 0:15:48 | |
And what does a groom spend his money on | 0:15:48 | 0:15:51 | |
when he's feeling...flush? | 0:15:51 | 0:15:53 | |
OK... | 0:15:58 | 0:16:00 | |
Right. | 0:16:01 | 0:16:02 | |
What to do in here? | 0:16:02 | 0:16:04 | |
We would have to have... mirrors with the light bulbs, | 0:16:05 | 0:16:09 | |
nice seats... | 0:16:09 | 0:16:12 | |
I mean, look at the lighting. There's bits of toilet roll stuck to the ceiling. | 0:16:12 | 0:16:15 | |
What woman's coming up and throwing...? I don't know. | 0:16:15 | 0:16:19 | |
That would probably be one thing, is maybe do up the toilets - you know, like mirrors and... | 0:16:19 | 0:16:24 | |
If you want to put in a whole new toilet suite...feel free. | 0:16:24 | 0:16:28 | |
HE LAUGHS | 0:16:28 | 0:16:30 | |
"The John and Jackie Memorial Toilet"(?) | 0:16:30 | 0:16:34 | |
I'll name the urinal in the Gents after you as well, if you really want. | 0:16:34 | 0:16:38 | |
They might say that's taking the piss(!) | 0:16:38 | 0:16:41 | |
It's the start of the second week. And walking fashion disaster John | 0:16:43 | 0:16:47 | |
has actually ventured into Glasgow city centre | 0:16:47 | 0:16:50 | |
to try and find the all-important wedding dress. | 0:16:50 | 0:16:52 | |
Hi, how are you doing? | 0:16:53 | 0:16:55 | |
I'm here to pick a dress for my fiancee. | 0:16:55 | 0:16:57 | |
Anything in mind that you've got for it? | 0:16:57 | 0:17:00 | |
Something...simple, elegant. You know. Fitting. | 0:17:00 | 0:17:03 | |
I think she's between, like, an eight and a ten. So a nine? | 0:17:03 | 0:17:07 | |
Oh, dear God... | 0:17:07 | 0:17:09 | |
Across town, on Glasgow's smartest street, | 0:17:09 | 0:17:12 | |
Jackie wants to show Gary and mum Carol her dream dress. | 0:17:12 | 0:17:17 | |
This is just such a big day. | 0:17:18 | 0:17:21 | |
My only daughter's wedding - I just want everything to be...perfect. | 0:17:21 | 0:17:26 | |
CAROL GASPS | 0:17:28 | 0:17:30 | |
Don't cry... | 0:17:34 | 0:17:36 | |
-It's gorgeous! -It is, isn't it? | 0:17:36 | 0:17:38 | |
I don't know why I'm crying - | 0:17:38 | 0:17:41 | |
because I really like this, | 0:17:41 | 0:17:43 | |
or because I know that John would never pick anything like this. | 0:17:43 | 0:17:45 | |
-That... That's the dress. -That's it, isn't it? -Yeah. | 0:17:45 | 0:17:50 | |
That is definitely, definitely you. | 0:17:50 | 0:17:53 | |
I think the thing I most love about it is the... | 0:17:55 | 0:17:57 | |
-is the bottom. The ruffles. -It's just so different. | 0:17:57 | 0:18:00 | |
And I just love the fact that it's just... The detail's just so simple. | 0:18:01 | 0:18:06 | |
And my train at the back is not too long, I think that is | 0:18:06 | 0:18:10 | |
the kind of perfect kind of length for it. | 0:18:10 | 0:18:12 | |
SHE SIGHS | 0:18:12 | 0:18:14 | |
-If he doesn't get that right... -CAROL LAUGHS | 0:18:15 | 0:18:18 | |
I'm not going to be able to see past this, I don't think. | 0:18:18 | 0:18:21 | |
Well, wacky John's not wasting any time in finding HIS dress. | 0:18:22 | 0:18:26 | |
He's even picked up the perfect model. | 0:18:26 | 0:18:29 | |
-Ta-da! -JOHN HOOTS WITH LAUGHTER | 0:18:31 | 0:18:34 | |
Is that how you walk(?) | 0:18:34 | 0:18:36 | |
Oh...! | 0:18:36 | 0:18:37 | |
That's wrong, that's wrong... | 0:18:37 | 0:18:40 | |
Is it wrong that I feel comfortable(?) | 0:18:40 | 0:18:43 | |
Stand and hold my arm. | 0:18:43 | 0:18:45 | |
How am I supposed to look at Jackie now after seeing you in this?! | 0:18:45 | 0:18:49 | |
I'll be walking down the aisle and I'll just see her head on you. | 0:18:49 | 0:18:52 | |
Could be worse. | 0:18:52 | 0:18:54 | |
-Could be YOU walking down the aisle? -If she's not up for it, it might be! | 0:18:54 | 0:18:59 | |
Cameron might look strangely alluring - but what about the dress? | 0:18:59 | 0:19:02 | |
Detail-wise, I think it's stunning, you can see the work that's went into it. | 0:19:02 | 0:19:06 | |
When I saw it on the hanger I thought it looked too blingy, | 0:19:06 | 0:19:10 | |
but when it's on it just looks more like kind of a nice pattern, | 0:19:10 | 0:19:15 | |
then when you see it up close you get the sparkle from it. | 0:19:15 | 0:19:18 | |
I think it's beautiful. But it's totally up to you. | 0:19:18 | 0:19:21 | |
I can only...wear it for you! | 0:19:21 | 0:19:22 | |
I can only present it to you as my body lets me. | 0:19:22 | 0:19:24 | |
How's he got boobies? | 0:19:24 | 0:19:26 | |
I like it. I like it. | 0:19:26 | 0:19:27 | |
John's tempted to buy the first dress they've tried on. | 0:19:27 | 0:19:30 | |
But even HE knows that's a risky strategy. | 0:19:30 | 0:19:33 | |
Is she going to go off her nut if I've picked a dress in ten minutes? | 0:19:33 | 0:19:37 | |
Yeah, but you've looked at well over a dozen dresses - that whole rack. | 0:19:37 | 0:19:41 | |
That's the one that stood out, and that's all totally different designs. | 0:19:41 | 0:19:45 | |
I'm not trying to put words in your mouth, but I think | 0:19:45 | 0:19:47 | |
-if you started again at another store you would just be back to square one. -I know. | 0:19:47 | 0:19:51 | |
Yep... It's only the most important dress of Jackie's life. | 0:19:51 | 0:19:55 | |
You don't want to confuse yourself by THINKING about it. | 0:19:55 | 0:19:58 | |
That's the dress. We've nailed it. | 0:19:58 | 0:20:00 | |
One, two... One... | 0:20:00 | 0:20:03 | |
That is SO gay. | 0:20:03 | 0:20:06 | |
-We'll go for that, then. -Fantastic. | 0:20:06 | 0:20:08 | |
So that's £800 spent, on the very first dress he's tried on. | 0:20:08 | 0:20:11 | |
I think you go with the gut feeling, and I'm feeling better already. | 0:20:11 | 0:20:14 | |
Listen, do you think Jackie'll be cool with me wearing her dress before she's actually worn it? | 0:20:14 | 0:20:19 | |
Fine, mate. She'll be fine. | 0:20:19 | 0:20:20 | |
Well, don't tell her that I never had a shower this morning! | 0:20:20 | 0:20:23 | |
-Don't tell her you look better in it(?) -That as well! | 0:20:23 | 0:20:26 | |
Fancy Jackie has a passion for good food and baking. | 0:20:29 | 0:20:32 | |
So much so, that she made her brother's wedding cake - | 0:20:32 | 0:20:35 | |
over a hundred individual cupcakes. | 0:20:35 | 0:20:37 | |
I just think cupcakes are actually so cute, | 0:20:40 | 0:20:42 | |
so I just quite like things with little cupcake designs on them. | 0:20:42 | 0:20:47 | |
I do like things to be pretty, and nice, and girly I suppose. | 0:20:47 | 0:20:51 | |
But she is a touch particular on how they should be made. | 0:20:51 | 0:20:54 | |
I suppose I am, like, a wee bit of a perfectionist just in terms of, you know, I know what I like. | 0:20:54 | 0:21:00 | |
Even colour-coding the sugary balls. | 0:21:00 | 0:21:03 | |
When it comes to like, the decorating and things like that, I quite like it. A lot! | 0:21:03 | 0:21:07 | |
I don't really like eating my own cakes - I think they're too pretty to eat. | 0:21:09 | 0:21:12 | |
Now I want to make my own wedding cake. | 0:21:13 | 0:21:16 | |
John's got a lot to live up to. But he's not a pretty cupcake kind of guy. | 0:21:17 | 0:21:21 | |
Well, we're looking for... a cake, obviously! For the wedding. | 0:21:25 | 0:21:29 | |
A wedding cake? Have you got any idea what you're looking for? | 0:21:29 | 0:21:33 | |
She's always moaning about the size of her nose, and wants a nose job. | 0:21:33 | 0:21:36 | |
So this is the perfect chance to cut a wee bit off her nose. | 0:21:36 | 0:21:38 | |
So I think... | 0:21:38 | 0:21:40 | |
I think we'll go with a nose-shaped cake. | 0:21:40 | 0:21:42 | |
I think she'll kill you. | 0:21:47 | 0:21:48 | |
-So do I. -I would kill you! | 0:21:48 | 0:21:51 | |
Have you ever made a nose-shaped cake before? | 0:21:51 | 0:21:53 | |
Made a lot of things - not a nose. We've made a lot of things. | 0:21:53 | 0:21:57 | |
It's what's relevant to us, but it's always our joke. | 0:21:57 | 0:21:59 | |
It's about yous, that's true. It's your wedding. | 0:21:59 | 0:22:02 | |
So we'll go with the nose-shaped cake? | 0:22:02 | 0:22:04 | |
Can I just clarify for one thing - mate, do whatever you want... | 0:22:04 | 0:22:07 | |
but I am not backing up a nose cake. | 0:22:07 | 0:22:10 | |
You're on your tod with that one. | 0:22:10 | 0:22:12 | |
If she loses the plot, as long as she knows that I've got nothing to do with that. | 0:22:12 | 0:22:16 | |
It could go either way, I think. | 0:22:16 | 0:22:18 | |
It can only go one way. | 0:22:18 | 0:22:21 | |
-All right, don't worry about it. -I'm not worried about it. | 0:22:21 | 0:22:24 | |
YOU should be worried - I'm not worried about it. | 0:22:24 | 0:22:26 | |
Now, the thing is...do we go with my nose, is that going to cost more cos it's bigger? | 0:22:26 | 0:22:31 | |
Or do we go with Jackie's, which is a wee bit more Steffi Graf kind of shape? | 0:22:31 | 0:22:36 | |
Is there anything else you don't like about Jackie - | 0:22:36 | 0:22:38 | |
her bum, you want it blown up and put up against the wall(?) | 0:22:38 | 0:22:43 | |
We've already got her skydiving on her wedding day, | 0:22:43 | 0:22:45 | |
we've already got her wedding reception | 0:22:45 | 0:22:48 | |
in the Miners' Social Club, | 0:22:48 | 0:22:49 | |
so we already are kind of pushing the boundaries, | 0:22:49 | 0:22:52 | |
and I just feel she deserves, like, a nice traditional wedding cake. | 0:22:52 | 0:22:56 | |
I think he's crossed the line here. I really do. | 0:22:56 | 0:22:58 | |
With half his budget left and away from Cameron's voice of reason, | 0:22:58 | 0:23:04 | |
John's out of control. | 0:23:04 | 0:23:06 | |
Or should that be, more out of control? | 0:23:06 | 0:23:10 | |
Oh, here we go! Went on eBay. Got some toilet seats. | 0:23:10 | 0:23:15 | |
I tell you what, I'm excited opening it. | 0:23:15 | 0:23:17 | |
Imagine how excited Jackie is going to be sitting on it. | 0:23:17 | 0:23:20 | |
Oh, yeah... That's quality. Look at that. | 0:23:22 | 0:23:25 | |
# Love cats... # | 0:23:25 | 0:23:26 | |
I think she'll be happy with that. This could make the wedding day. | 0:23:26 | 0:23:30 | |
This could make it for Jackie. | 0:23:30 | 0:23:33 | |
It's the end of week two and John is finally | 0:23:35 | 0:23:37 | |
attending to practicalities - the guest list. | 0:23:37 | 0:23:41 | |
He goes to see his parents for help, but like a few other things, | 0:23:41 | 0:23:44 | |
he hasn't entirely thought it through. | 0:23:44 | 0:23:47 | |
I don't know if I've counted myself in that. | 0:23:47 | 0:23:50 | |
MUM LAUGHS | 0:23:50 | 0:23:53 | |
Do I need to count myself in the 100? | 0:23:55 | 0:23:57 | |
MUM LAUGHS | 0:23:57 | 0:23:58 | |
-Why wouldn't you count yourself? -It's your wedding! | 0:23:58 | 0:24:01 | |
Where's the plan for the start? Is there a plan? | 0:24:01 | 0:24:04 | |
It's all up here, Father. | 0:24:04 | 0:24:05 | |
No, it's not! Well, it's leaking out somewhere! | 0:24:05 | 0:24:08 | |
He swans in, a week before the wedding, | 0:24:08 | 0:24:10 | |
"Hiya, don't know how many's going. I think that's Jackie's list. | 0:24:10 | 0:24:13 | |
"Don't know how they'll get there." | 0:24:13 | 0:24:15 | |
-Your face is going slightly more red that it was before we started. -Red?! | 0:24:15 | 0:24:19 | |
Doesn't surprise me. Drives me crackers, but doesn't surprise me. | 0:24:19 | 0:24:24 | |
Are you finished with the invites? They have to go tomorrow. | 0:24:24 | 0:24:28 | |
But invitations aren't John's priority. The budget is. | 0:24:28 | 0:24:31 | |
After spending a further three grand on catering and furniture hire, | 0:24:31 | 0:24:35 | |
John decides to go scrimp on Jackie's hen. | 0:24:35 | 0:24:38 | |
He's spent a grand total of £38 booking a 'sub crawl'- a trip around | 0:24:38 | 0:24:45 | |
Glasgow's dodgy pubs, via the subway. | 0:24:45 | 0:24:49 | |
And it's not long before Jackie works out the modest plans from her designated meeting point. | 0:24:49 | 0:24:54 | |
Mum, see within see within five minutes of finding out the pub, | 0:24:54 | 0:24:59 | |
I knew it was a sub crawl. How much planning do you think he put into this? | 0:24:59 | 0:25:03 | |
I think he's being thoughtless. | 0:25:03 | 0:25:04 | |
The past three hen nights I've been on, one has been in Vegas, | 0:25:04 | 0:25:09 | |
one has been in Edinburgh and one has been in Madrid. | 0:25:09 | 0:25:12 | |
And John thinks it's all right for me to go on the Glasgow subway? | 0:25:12 | 0:25:16 | |
I mean... See if this is what it is because he is strapped for cash | 0:25:16 | 0:25:22 | |
and I find out that he's went away somewhere for his stag, | 0:25:22 | 0:25:26 | |
I will be absolutely livid, cos it's so unfair. | 0:25:26 | 0:25:29 | |
I'm not sure "fair" entered John's mind when he booked the stag. | 0:25:32 | 0:25:36 | |
# When I wake up | 0:25:36 | 0:25:39 | |
# When I know I'm going to be I'm going to be the man | 0:25:39 | 0:25:41 | |
# Who wakes up next to you | 0:25:41 | 0:25:44 | |
# And I would walk 500 miles | 0:25:44 | 0:25:47 | |
# And I would walk 500 more... # | 0:25:47 | 0:25:51 | |
Yes, the boys are in Berlin and John splashed out | 0:25:51 | 0:25:55 | |
£1,700 of his budget to get there. | 0:25:55 | 0:25:58 | |
THEY SING | 0:25:58 | 0:26:02 | |
ALL: Cheers! | 0:26:12 | 0:26:14 | |
Let's not kid ourselves on. The stag do is ALWAYS more important than the hen do. | 0:26:14 | 0:26:19 | |
Every stag do I have been on, has cost ten times as much as a hen do. | 0:26:19 | 0:26:25 | |
Tomorrow, when she hears that we're in Berlin and she's in | 0:26:25 | 0:26:32 | |
possibly one of the roughest pubs in Glasgow, | 0:26:32 | 0:26:35 | |
yeah, she may be a wee bit peeved! | 0:26:35 | 0:26:38 | |
What's worse, in Glasgow, Jackie's missing her best girlfriend, Rosie, | 0:26:41 | 0:26:46 | |
who emigrated to Australia and can't make the hen or the wedding. | 0:26:46 | 0:26:50 | |
I'm absolutely gutted that she can't be here. | 0:26:50 | 0:26:53 | |
It's not just like... She's not just, erm... | 0:26:53 | 0:26:58 | |
Its not, like, it's just a friend. It's like...a sister. | 0:27:04 | 0:27:09 | |
So, I'm really sad that she can't be here. | 0:27:09 | 0:27:13 | |
(Sorry.) | 0:27:21 | 0:27:22 | |
Jackie has got 30 other friends coming to the hen, | 0:27:22 | 0:27:26 | |
so she braves the elements to see what's in store for the rest of the day. | 0:27:26 | 0:27:30 | |
If it's a sub crawl, I'm putting my foot down. I'm not doing it. | 0:27:30 | 0:27:34 | |
OK, guys, we have a box that has been delivered by John. | 0:27:34 | 0:27:38 | |
OK, Jackie, that's for you. | 0:27:39 | 0:27:41 | |
ALL: Oh, no! | 0:27:41 | 0:27:45 | |
Well, it looks like we are going on a sub crawl, people. | 0:27:45 | 0:27:48 | |
Can you just put this in the bin, please? | 0:27:48 | 0:27:50 | |
GIRLS CHEER | 0:27:50 | 0:27:51 | |
But with the help of best man, and night club owner, Cameron, | 0:27:51 | 0:27:55 | |
that's not all John has laid on. | 0:27:55 | 0:27:56 | |
Oh, my God... | 0:27:56 | 0:27:58 | |
GIRLS: Ooh! | 0:27:58 | 0:28:01 | |
At four o'clock, there is a cocktail training class and buffet at O'Couture. | 0:28:01 | 0:28:06 | |
CHEERING | 0:28:06 | 0:28:07 | |
Oh... | 0:28:07 | 0:28:08 | |
GIRLS SHRIEK | 0:28:08 | 0:28:10 | |
Are we going to the South Side? | 0:28:10 | 0:28:12 | |
And then at half ten, we're going to The Shed! | 0:28:12 | 0:28:14 | |
CHEERING | 0:28:14 | 0:28:16 | |
Are we doing the crawl? | 0:28:16 | 0:28:17 | |
-Yeah, OK. -OK. | 0:28:17 | 0:28:19 | |
What happened to the whole "I'm not doing it"? | 0:28:19 | 0:28:21 | |
It's a good stop, it's a good stop. | 0:28:21 | 0:28:23 | |
Yeah, right, so we first arrived in the pub and Jackie was on | 0:28:23 | 0:28:27 | |
the whole, "I'm not doing it!" Now she has seen this lovely itinerary, | 0:28:27 | 0:28:30 | |
it's "Let's go, let's go!" | 0:28:30 | 0:28:32 | |
I hear you're interested in cocktails? | 0:28:32 | 0:28:35 | |
ALL: Yes!! | 0:28:35 | 0:28:38 | |
While the cocktail class gets in full swing, over in Berlin, | 0:28:38 | 0:28:42 | |
John's getting taught a very different kind of lesson. | 0:28:42 | 0:28:46 | |
# Hey, I don't need to change my style | 0:28:51 | 0:28:53 | |
# Been this way for a long, long while | 0:28:53 | 0:28:56 | |
# Maybe there's a few things I'll order | 0:28:56 | 0:28:59 | |
# Sex! | 0:28:59 | 0:29:01 | |
# Can you teach me all your tricks? # | 0:29:01 | 0:29:05 | |
And it's not long before the wheels really start to come off. | 0:29:05 | 0:29:09 | |
CHEERING | 0:29:09 | 0:29:11 | |
Eugh! | 0:29:13 | 0:29:14 | |
HE SINGS | 0:29:14 | 0:29:18 | |
CONTINUES TO SING | 0:29:24 | 0:29:28 | |
Like father, like son. | 0:29:31 | 0:29:33 | |
It's four days before the wedding and John's come crashing back down to reality. | 0:29:43 | 0:29:46 | |
It's a disaster. | 0:29:46 | 0:29:48 | |
He still hasn't sent out a third of the invites for his Christmas in midsummer wedding. | 0:29:48 | 0:29:53 | |
I think I've messed up that. I think I've messed up the Miners'. | 0:29:53 | 0:29:58 | |
I've messed up the fact that I've spent 80 quid on cat toilet seats. | 0:29:58 | 0:30:02 | |
Need to get the invites out today, need to get the ring, need to get transport. | 0:30:02 | 0:30:07 | |
I've not even... I've got people turning up for buses I don't even have. | 0:30:07 | 0:30:10 | |
I need to get this flat tidied. It's disgusting. | 0:30:10 | 0:30:14 | |
Sick all over the bathroom. Oh... | 0:30:14 | 0:30:17 | |
I've had 12 grand to spend. | 0:30:17 | 0:30:20 | |
I could have... I should have looked at more places. | 0:30:20 | 0:30:23 | |
I had it in my head I wanted the Miners', because that is where we met, and now I'm thinking | 0:30:23 | 0:30:28 | |
that she is going to go off her nut if it is there. | 0:30:28 | 0:30:30 | |
It's 50-50 for the skydive. If she can't do a skydive, | 0:30:30 | 0:30:34 | |
if it's indoors, in the castle, and then Kirky Miners', this could be the worst... | 0:30:34 | 0:30:40 | |
THE worst wedding ever. | 0:30:40 | 0:30:42 | |
There's a long list of things to do, and less than £2,000 left to sort it. | 0:30:42 | 0:30:47 | |
But there's no time to wallow. In Glasgow, bridesmaid Gary is in a kilt shop, | 0:30:47 | 0:30:51 | |
waiting to meet John for his fitting. | 0:30:51 | 0:30:53 | |
I was just dead worried that I was going to end up with a dress, | 0:30:53 | 0:30:56 | |
because John would think that was funny. | 0:30:56 | 0:30:59 | |
But I'm gay, I'm not a tranny. | 0:30:59 | 0:31:00 | |
But thankfully, I'm in a kilt shop and, in Scotland, men wear skirts | 0:31:00 | 0:31:05 | |
and I'm quite happy with that. | 0:31:05 | 0:31:07 | |
But when John arrives without his right-hand man, he has other ideas. | 0:31:07 | 0:31:12 | |
-I think I'm going to go for trews. -Are you kidding me on?! Are you being serious here? Trews? | 0:31:12 | 0:31:17 | |
Probably be going for...a red. | 0:31:17 | 0:31:20 | |
-Seriously, are you kidding me on? -No, I thought you'd like trews. | 0:31:20 | 0:31:24 | |
I don't what's worse - a dress or Rupert the Bear. | 0:31:24 | 0:31:27 | |
I don't know if he's taking the piss or not. I'm hoping he's taking the piss, | 0:31:29 | 0:31:33 | |
cos if he's not, I'm going to end up at his wedding looking like Teddy Ruxpin. | 0:31:33 | 0:31:36 | |
What the hell's that all about? | 0:31:36 | 0:31:39 | |
# Shang-a-lang... # | 0:31:40 | 0:31:43 | |
-I don't think they're very me. -I'll get you a kilt. | 0:31:44 | 0:31:47 | |
I'll half in for you to get a kilt. | 0:31:47 | 0:31:49 | |
Just let Gary do what he wants. | 0:31:49 | 0:31:52 | |
Just keep everybody happy now, at this point, I think. | 0:31:52 | 0:31:55 | |
Erm...I can't be bothered with an argument, so I've just... I've let him go with the kilt. | 0:31:55 | 0:32:00 | |
Gorgeous, gorgeous. | 0:32:01 | 0:32:03 | |
Gary's got the black and red trim kilt that he wanted, | 0:32:03 | 0:32:06 | |
but he's not convinced the bedraggled groom is up to the job. | 0:32:06 | 0:32:09 | |
If Jackie had seen him, she would have got a bit of a shock. | 0:32:09 | 0:32:13 | |
He just looks quite tired and withdrawn and lethargic. | 0:32:13 | 0:32:17 | |
I hope that he has not bitten off more than he can chew and been partying too much. | 0:32:17 | 0:32:20 | |
And two days before the wedding, Jackie's starting to have | 0:32:20 | 0:32:23 | |
major doubts, too. | 0:32:23 | 0:32:25 | |
Basically, I just have a constant... | 0:32:25 | 0:32:29 | |
..ball of nerves in my stomach. | 0:32:32 | 0:32:35 | |
She's particularly worried about how she's going to look. | 0:32:35 | 0:32:38 | |
I think, obviously, it would be perfect if I could get my hair up | 0:32:38 | 0:32:43 | |
and have a veil. | 0:32:43 | 0:32:45 | |
Do you wear a veil all day? Do you not take it off later on? | 0:32:45 | 0:32:49 | |
I don't know. | 0:32:49 | 0:32:50 | |
No, I think you would probably... I think it's an old-fashioned thing that brides change later on. | 0:32:52 | 0:32:57 | |
-I'm not changing. I want to wear the dress all day. -Yeah. | 0:32:57 | 0:33:02 | |
You might need to reconsider that, after a skydive(!) | 0:33:02 | 0:33:05 | |
In Kirky, the invites have been sent out, | 0:33:05 | 0:33:07 | |
but John still hasn't bought the decorations | 0:33:07 | 0:33:11 | |
for his Christmas-themed reception. And with no time, money or clue, | 0:33:11 | 0:33:14 | |
he's having to beg his caterers for extras... | 0:33:14 | 0:33:17 | |
Can we get you dressed up as Santa, at some point? | 0:33:17 | 0:33:19 | |
..borrow anything he can get his hands on... | 0:33:19 | 0:33:21 | |
Oh, look, there's wedding bells! | 0:33:21 | 0:33:23 | |
Is that a big bauble, as well? | 0:33:24 | 0:33:26 | |
..even steal from his best man's club... | 0:33:26 | 0:33:28 | |
-Look at that. There's your colours. -That's the colour scheme. | 0:33:28 | 0:33:31 | |
There's your disco lights there. Now we're off, we're off! | 0:33:31 | 0:33:34 | |
I don't think that's that tacky. | 0:33:34 | 0:33:36 | |
And for the grand finale... get the tree down from the loft. | 0:33:36 | 0:33:40 | |
It's the day before the wedding and Jackie's getting ready to see | 0:33:45 | 0:33:48 | |
the dress that John agonised over for all of ten minutes. | 0:33:48 | 0:33:52 | |
What she doesn't know is that John's organised at least one surprise | 0:33:57 | 0:34:01 | |
that he won't need to apologise for. He's spent £1,500 | 0:34:01 | 0:34:05 | |
flying best friend Rosie over from Australia - | 0:34:05 | 0:34:08 | |
and she's downstairs, waiting to bring up Jackie's dress. Aw. | 0:34:08 | 0:34:12 | |
I am totally bursting at the seams. I am so excited. | 0:34:12 | 0:34:15 | |
I am shaking like a leaf, my legs are like jelly. | 0:34:15 | 0:34:18 | |
I'm just absolutely ecstatic to be here and I'm so delighted to be seeing her in five minutes. | 0:34:18 | 0:34:23 | |
-John's asked us to give you something to put on before you see your dress. -Oh-h! My God! | 0:34:23 | 0:34:30 | |
We've to make sure, no peeking. | 0:34:30 | 0:34:32 | |
It's a pink bag. | 0:34:45 | 0:34:46 | |
THEY BOTH GASP | 0:34:46 | 0:34:48 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:34:48 | 0:34:49 | |
SHE CRIES | 0:34:51 | 0:34:54 | |
Oh, my God. It's brilliant. | 0:35:03 | 0:35:06 | |
-I can't believe you've... -You're a bridesmaid, you're not a guest. | 0:35:07 | 0:35:11 | |
-A bridesmaid! -Really? -I'm so excited. | 0:35:11 | 0:35:15 | |
It's so exciting! | 0:35:15 | 0:35:17 | |
I just never thought for one second that this would actually happen. | 0:35:17 | 0:35:21 | |
Oh! | 0:35:23 | 0:35:25 | |
-It's all John's doing, you know. -At least he's good for something. | 0:35:25 | 0:35:29 | |
Oh! | 0:35:30 | 0:35:31 | |
Let's pray he's good at DIY, | 0:35:31 | 0:35:34 | |
because he's going to have to work into the night on the Miners', | 0:35:34 | 0:35:37 | |
for it to be anything other than a Christmas turkey. | 0:35:37 | 0:35:40 | |
Day before the wedding... | 0:35:40 | 0:35:43 | |
..cleaning seats. | 0:35:43 | 0:35:45 | |
Back in the bridal shop, | 0:35:47 | 0:35:49 | |
and Jackie's about to find out whether the dress that looked so good on Cameron | 0:35:49 | 0:35:54 | |
will look anything as good on her. | 0:35:54 | 0:35:56 | |
SHE GASPS | 0:36:10 | 0:36:11 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:36:14 | 0:36:16 | |
-It's gorgeous. -Oh, my God! -It's beautiful. | 0:36:21 | 0:36:25 | |
Oh, my God! Oh, my... | 0:36:29 | 0:36:32 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:36:40 | 0:36:42 | |
Oh, my God! I'm so happy! I'm so happy! | 0:36:46 | 0:36:51 | |
Oh, my God! I can't believe that John would pick something like this. | 0:36:51 | 0:36:55 | |
-Absolutely perfect. -Do you like it? -I love it. | 0:36:55 | 0:36:59 | |
Oh, my! You look like a bride. | 0:37:01 | 0:37:03 | |
I feel like a bride. | 0:37:03 | 0:37:05 | |
I can't believe that he has never bought me anything to wear, ever. | 0:37:07 | 0:37:12 | |
-That is beautiful. -It'll look good in the Miners'. | 0:37:12 | 0:37:15 | |
Look, see... When you move, it twinkles. | 0:37:18 | 0:37:22 | |
It's gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. He's done so well. | 0:37:22 | 0:37:25 | |
Perfect in every single way that could possibly be perfect. | 0:37:25 | 0:37:29 | |
It's just so absolutely fitted, it's unbelievable. | 0:37:29 | 0:37:32 | |
Oh! | 0:37:32 | 0:37:34 | |
She looks like a princess. | 0:37:35 | 0:37:36 | |
I'm so glad that he's left Kirky to come and pick a dress in town, | 0:37:40 | 0:37:45 | |
away from home and with strange townie people. | 0:37:45 | 0:37:50 | |
Yeah, bought in Glasgow, but it's going to be worn in Kirky. | 0:37:51 | 0:37:55 | |
It's the morning of the wedding. | 0:38:02 | 0:38:04 | |
Woke up this morning. It's sunny outside. Jackie Burns is skydiving today. | 0:38:07 | 0:38:12 | |
Yes! | 0:38:12 | 0:38:13 | |
Well, I hope. | 0:38:14 | 0:38:16 | |
In a hotel near the airfield, | 0:38:17 | 0:38:20 | |
John's sent a hairdresser round to Jackie and the bridal party. | 0:38:20 | 0:38:24 | |
-Oh-h! -Hello. | 0:38:24 | 0:38:27 | |
I feel relieved. | 0:38:27 | 0:38:29 | |
She's brought a colourful bridal bouquet. | 0:38:29 | 0:38:31 | |
Oh, that's brilliant...but red? Does that mean the theme's red? | 0:38:31 | 0:38:36 | |
Yeah. | 0:38:36 | 0:38:38 | |
I don't think I'd have picked red. | 0:38:38 | 0:38:39 | |
I'd have picked more kinda tealy-green colour, but... | 0:38:39 | 0:38:44 | |
Not a great start. | 0:38:44 | 0:38:46 | |
And by the look of the flat, her day might not end well either. | 0:38:46 | 0:38:50 | |
Jackie's home tonight, better get the place cleaned up. | 0:38:50 | 0:38:53 | |
This place is a bit of a disaster. It's a total wreck. | 0:38:53 | 0:38:55 | |
He's currently throwing all the clothes in a bin bag, | 0:38:55 | 0:38:58 | |
but I don't think that's good enough to bring your new wife home to. | 0:38:58 | 0:39:01 | |
That's if she's willing to come home at all. | 0:39:01 | 0:39:04 | |
It's been a lot of surprises. I don't know if I can cope with any more surprises. | 0:39:04 | 0:39:08 | |
Jackie's been put through an hour-and-a-half of hair and make-up | 0:39:10 | 0:39:14 | |
to look her very best for the day. | 0:39:14 | 0:39:15 | |
-Do you love it? -I love it! I love it! Thank you very much. | 0:39:15 | 0:39:19 | |
Time to see the bridesmaids' outfits. | 0:39:19 | 0:39:22 | |
JACKIE GASPS My God! | 0:39:24 | 0:39:27 | |
Yous look so good. Gary, you look so good. | 0:39:27 | 0:39:32 | |
God, red. It's really red. | 0:39:32 | 0:39:35 | |
Oh, that dress is gorgeous. | 0:39:35 | 0:39:38 | |
John chose that? It's amazing. | 0:39:38 | 0:39:42 | |
Yes, it is. | 0:39:42 | 0:39:44 | |
It's lovely. It's so nice. | 0:39:44 | 0:39:47 | |
-I think it definitely feels like it's happening now. -Really? | 0:39:47 | 0:39:50 | |
We've flown her in from Australia and she's in a bridesmaid's dress and it's only just hitting you? | 0:39:50 | 0:39:55 | |
An hour later, and the bridal party is ready, | 0:39:55 | 0:39:58 | |
but probably not for what's in store next. | 0:39:58 | 0:40:01 | |
Really lucky with the weather. | 0:40:01 | 0:40:03 | |
Hopefully, if he's got a photographer, we'll be able to go outside for photographs, | 0:40:03 | 0:40:08 | |
but I don't want to get my dress dirty. | 0:40:08 | 0:40:10 | |
In Kirky, John and Cameron are heading directly to the castle, | 0:40:10 | 0:40:13 | |
leaving their guests to pile onto a bus for an hour-and-a-half drive north without a clue what to expect. | 0:40:13 | 0:40:20 | |
-Possibly Edinburgh. -I know. -A nice house. -Or it could be a field with a tent, | 0:40:20 | 0:40:24 | |
so we're not sure! | 0:40:24 | 0:40:27 | |
Well, if you know John like these guys, there's always a story and a drama. | 0:40:27 | 0:40:31 | |
And the drama has already descended after the girls realise that the bridal car is on a track | 0:40:31 | 0:40:37 | |
-to an airfield. -(Oh, shit!) | 0:40:37 | 0:40:39 | |
Oh, no. He wouldn't, would he? | 0:40:43 | 0:40:46 | |
THEY GASP BOTH: Oh, my God! | 0:40:48 | 0:40:50 | |
Oh, my God, are we going in a plane somewhere? | 0:40:50 | 0:40:55 | |
Oh, my God, I'm petrified of flying. | 0:40:55 | 0:40:58 | |
Oh, my God, there is something going on. | 0:40:58 | 0:41:01 | |
Jackie, see if he's going to try and do a skydive, I cannae do it. | 0:41:01 | 0:41:04 | |
Neither can I. I can't. I cannae do it. | 0:41:07 | 0:41:11 | |
Surely you need a bigger plane than that to sky... | 0:41:14 | 0:41:16 | |
Surely, health and safety would say you cannot skydive out of a plane | 0:41:16 | 0:41:20 | |
-in a wedding dress. -People do it. | 0:41:20 | 0:41:23 | |
Surely you have to take some kind of Valium or something before you do something like that. | 0:41:23 | 0:41:27 | |
He's having a laugh. | 0:41:34 | 0:41:35 | |
Ooops! | 0:41:36 | 0:41:38 | |
I think this is one of his wind-ups. | 0:41:41 | 0:41:44 | |
If he thinks I'm skydiving, then I'm not. | 0:41:44 | 0:41:47 | |
Absolutely no way. If that's what he thinks we're going to do, there's no way I'm doing it. | 0:41:47 | 0:41:51 | |
No way I'm dropping out a plane. | 0:41:51 | 0:41:53 | |
Seriously...he's at it. He has to be at it. | 0:41:53 | 0:41:57 | |
Got any poly bags? If she gets in a plane, she'll be sick. | 0:41:57 | 0:42:00 | |
-No, Jackie, don't even think about it. -See if it's... I can't... | 0:42:00 | 0:42:06 | |
John's booked both Jackie and Rosie to jump out of the plane, IF they are willing to do it. | 0:42:06 | 0:42:12 | |
I think you've probably guessed by now that I'm a tandem skydiving instructor. | 0:42:13 | 0:42:18 | |
And if you want to, we're going to take you tandem skydiving. | 0:42:18 | 0:42:21 | |
Going to run you through a briefing about what we do. | 0:42:21 | 0:42:24 | |
Then you can decide if you're going to come with us or not, OK? | 0:42:24 | 0:42:27 | |
-I can't believe he's done this. -Unfortunately, I can. | 0:42:27 | 0:42:31 | |
When we leave the aircraft we'll accelerate to 120mph in seven seconds. | 0:42:31 | 0:42:36 | |
We'll be in freefall for about 30 seconds. | 0:42:36 | 0:42:38 | |
We'll fly about under the parachute for about five minutes. | 0:42:38 | 0:42:42 | |
So we fit you into one of these harnesses... | 0:42:42 | 0:42:44 | |
Can you do this in a dress like this? | 0:42:44 | 0:42:46 | |
No, we'll take you out of that and put you into something more... | 0:42:46 | 0:42:50 | |
This is stupid. | 0:42:50 | 0:42:51 | |
All that time that girl spent this morning doing hair and make-up... | 0:42:51 | 0:42:56 | |
Could... | 0:42:56 | 0:42:58 | |
He had to mess it up somewhere. It's been too good. | 0:43:00 | 0:43:04 | |
It's so stupid. It's such a boy thing to do. | 0:43:04 | 0:43:07 | |
This is probably the worst possible idea... | 0:43:07 | 0:43:11 | |
..for the morning of the wedding. | 0:43:13 | 0:43:15 | |
I think John's an arsehole. | 0:43:18 | 0:43:20 | |
The boys have made it to the castle, and, for John, ignorance is bliss. | 0:43:22 | 0:43:27 | |
-One of us should be worried about something and you're obviously wired to the moon. -It's brilliant! | 0:43:27 | 0:43:32 | |
-It's my wedding day. -I know. -You're supposed to be happy. -I'm over the moon. | 0:43:32 | 0:43:37 | |
If you're not happy, you shouldn't be getting married, should you? Know what I mean? | 0:43:37 | 0:43:41 | |
Tell that to Jackie. It's all become too much for her bridesmaid to bear. | 0:43:41 | 0:43:46 | |
It accelerates very quickly. | 0:43:46 | 0:43:48 | |
Rosie, don't get upset. Listen... | 0:43:48 | 0:43:51 | |
You've made a decision you're not doing it. Don't do it. It's absolutely fine. | 0:43:51 | 0:43:55 | |
-Don't even get upset about it. -I feel physically sick. I feel as if I... | 0:43:55 | 0:44:01 | |
I don't even know how I'm feeling. It's just horrible. | 0:44:01 | 0:44:04 | |
It is a really stupid thing to expect somebody to do. | 0:44:04 | 0:44:07 | |
If he actually thinks that you would be willing to do it, then he is mental. | 0:44:07 | 0:44:14 | |
He is mental. | 0:44:14 | 0:44:15 | |
John might have put her in an awful position, but now it's decision time for Jackie. | 0:44:15 | 0:44:21 | |
OK. | 0:44:29 | 0:44:31 | |
OK, I'll do it. | 0:44:31 | 0:44:32 | |
OK. We'll take you, then. | 0:44:34 | 0:44:37 | |
I'll do it for the both of us. | 0:44:37 | 0:44:39 | |
-What if I die? What if I actually die? -You won't. | 0:44:41 | 0:44:44 | |
-What if I have a heart attack? -Maybe they let you hold a kitten when you get down. | 0:44:46 | 0:44:49 | |
I'm shitting myself. | 0:44:49 | 0:44:51 | |
The skydive might be going ahead, but John's far from being in the clear. | 0:45:00 | 0:45:04 | |
I'll wait to see if I survive, | 0:45:05 | 0:45:07 | |
and then when I see him, I'm just going to punch him. | 0:45:07 | 0:45:10 | |
I can hear it, Cameron, I can hear it. | 0:45:29 | 0:45:31 | |
Burnsey! Hurry up! | 0:45:31 | 0:45:34 | |
-Can you imagine what's going through her mind now? Her heart will be going crazy! -Oh, my God. | 0:45:59 | 0:46:04 | |
Over there, look! | 0:46:19 | 0:46:22 | |
# I'm free... | 0:46:22 | 0:46:25 | |
# Freefalling... # | 0:46:25 | 0:46:28 | |
CHEERING | 0:46:34 | 0:46:36 | |
MUSIC: Wedding March by Felix Mendelssohn | 0:46:36 | 0:46:40 | |
And so the bride makes her entrance flat out in the mud | 0:46:45 | 0:46:49 | |
straddled by a man she met ten minutes ago. | 0:46:49 | 0:46:51 | |
It's just how she dreamed it(!) | 0:46:51 | 0:46:54 | |
That is.. | 0:46:59 | 0:47:02 | |
That is a feeling that you can't even put into words. | 0:47:03 | 0:47:06 | |
It's... I don't... It is absolutely amazing! | 0:47:08 | 0:47:12 | |
Amazing. | 0:47:15 | 0:47:16 | |
You nailed that, nailed that! Nailed that. | 0:47:18 | 0:47:20 | |
I'm still going to punch him. | 0:47:20 | 0:47:23 | |
I'm still going to punch him for making me do this on my wedding day. | 0:47:23 | 0:47:27 | |
I'm glad they've landed now, safe and sound, that's the main thing. | 0:47:29 | 0:47:33 | |
Well done! | 0:47:33 | 0:47:35 | |
She was really brave. | 0:47:35 | 0:47:37 | |
You wouldn't get me to do that, but it was amazing. Absolutely amazing. | 0:47:37 | 0:47:41 | |
I don't know how long Jackie spent on her hair to be thrown out of an aeroplane at umpteen thousand feet, | 0:47:41 | 0:47:46 | |
but John's plans are looking good. Bit far away, but it's looking good so far. | 0:47:46 | 0:47:49 | |
-While Jackie's back in hair and make-up... -I can't believe that happened. | 0:47:51 | 0:47:55 | |
..the guests head to the castle just up the road. | 0:47:55 | 0:47:58 | |
And an hour later, | 0:47:58 | 0:47:59 | |
-she's finally ready to make a more traditional entrance. -For the second time! | 0:47:59 | 0:48:04 | |
BOTH: Strathallan Castle. | 0:48:04 | 0:48:07 | |
Oh, my God. | 0:48:09 | 0:48:10 | |
I might not punch him quite as hard! | 0:48:12 | 0:48:14 | |
I'm still going to smack him with my bouquet. | 0:48:14 | 0:48:17 | |
It's gorgeous. | 0:48:23 | 0:48:25 | |
It's certainly not like something you would find in Kirkintilloch | 0:48:25 | 0:48:29 | |
so this is pretty amazing. | 0:48:29 | 0:48:32 | |
Are you happy? | 0:48:32 | 0:48:33 | |
BAGPIPES PLAY | 0:48:35 | 0:48:40 | |
Watch the good flowers! | 0:48:50 | 0:48:52 | |
John, today you have come to promise to share your life with Jackie. | 0:49:04 | 0:49:08 | |
Do you promise to love and protect her, | 0:49:08 | 0:49:10 | |
to comfort and support her for better or worse, | 0:49:10 | 0:49:14 | |
-in times of sickness and in health? -I do. | 0:49:14 | 0:49:17 | |
Jackie, today you have come to promise to share your life with John. | 0:49:19 | 0:49:23 | |
Do you promise to love and protect him, | 0:49:23 | 0:49:26 | |
to comfort and support him, for better or worse, | 0:49:26 | 0:49:29 | |
from this day forward? | 0:49:29 | 0:49:31 | |
I do. LAUGHTER | 0:49:32 | 0:49:35 | |
I'm delighted to declare that Jackie and John, | 0:49:39 | 0:49:43 | |
-you are now husband and wife. -CHEERING AND APPLAUSE | 0:49:43 | 0:49:47 | |
Why on earth would you ever want someone to do a skydive | 0:49:56 | 0:50:00 | |
ON their wedding day?! | 0:50:00 | 0:50:02 | |
Have you not always wanted to do a skydive? True or untrue? | 0:50:02 | 0:50:05 | |
True! Not on my wedding day! NOT on my wedding day! | 0:50:05 | 0:50:09 | |
Was it amazing? | 0:50:09 | 0:50:12 | |
-It was amazing. -Right, OK. -And I want to do it again! | 0:50:12 | 0:50:15 | |
I'm so happy to have you as my wife, Jackie Clark. | 0:50:16 | 0:50:19 | |
I'm so happy to be your wife. | 0:50:22 | 0:50:24 | |
It sounds dead funny! | 0:50:24 | 0:50:26 | |
CHEERING | 0:50:26 | 0:50:28 | |
Stunning setting, | 0:50:28 | 0:50:30 | |
the room was just absolutely ahh! It was like Buckingham Palace, it was absolutely gorgeous. | 0:50:30 | 0:50:34 | |
It might have been hectic so far, | 0:50:34 | 0:50:37 | |
but John hasn't planned any time to relax | 0:50:37 | 0:50:39 | |
so everyone's back on the bus for another hour. | 0:50:39 | 0:50:43 | |
I can't believe that we've got to go on another journey. | 0:50:43 | 0:50:46 | |
It's just been crazy. | 0:50:46 | 0:50:47 | |
And this time, most people have a suspicion of where they're going to end up. | 0:50:47 | 0:50:51 | |
THEY CHANT We're going to the Miners'! | 0:50:51 | 0:50:54 | |
Oh, we're going to the Miners'! | 0:50:54 | 0:50:57 | |
And arriving in Kirky, | 0:50:57 | 0:50:59 | |
the bride is starting to fear the worst, too. | 0:50:59 | 0:51:02 | |
You absolute arsehole. | 0:51:02 | 0:51:04 | |
MUSIC: Funeral March by Frederic Chopin | 0:51:05 | 0:51:08 | |
How do I get the feeling you're not happy? | 0:51:13 | 0:51:15 | |
Would you honestly do this to me? | 0:51:25 | 0:51:28 | |
Do you honestly have this in the Miners?' | 0:51:28 | 0:51:30 | |
After all of that, after getting flung out of a fucking plane | 0:51:30 | 0:51:34 | |
and that beautiful ceremony, you come to the Miners'? | 0:51:34 | 0:51:37 | |
Honestly?! Is this a joke? | 0:51:39 | 0:51:42 | |
-What if I say I'm not getting out? -You can trust me. -I can't. -Trust me. | 0:51:53 | 0:51:57 | |
Do you trust me? | 0:51:57 | 0:51:59 | |
-Jackie, trust me. -I need that back. You're not going to go away, are you? | 0:52:00 | 0:52:05 | |
Promise, right? | 0:52:05 | 0:52:07 | |
-I'm hoping I'm going in here for a drink and then we're leaving! -Trust me! | 0:52:15 | 0:52:18 | |
Come on! You've trusted me so far. | 0:52:18 | 0:52:21 | |
I love you. Come on. Trust me. Trust me. | 0:52:21 | 0:52:24 | |
I'm having my reception in the Miners'. | 0:52:24 | 0:52:26 | |
Am I having a reception in the Miners'? | 0:52:27 | 0:52:30 | |
-Yeah. -Right, OK. That's fine. | 0:52:30 | 0:52:31 | |
Right? Walk in, close your eyes, go on. | 0:52:31 | 0:52:35 | |
Trust me, trust me, trust me. | 0:52:35 | 0:52:37 | |
Trust me. Trust me. | 0:52:37 | 0:52:40 | |
Watch my dress on the door. | 0:52:40 | 0:52:42 | |
-You ready? Ready for this? -Yeah. -Right. Go on. | 0:52:42 | 0:52:45 | |
Oh, my...! | 0:52:47 | 0:52:48 | |
Christmas! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!! | 0:52:48 | 0:52:51 | |
-Is that my Christmas tree?! -Of course it is! | 0:52:52 | 0:52:54 | |
I put it up. | 0:52:54 | 0:52:56 | |
Oh...my...God. | 0:52:56 | 0:52:59 | |
-Like it? -Oh, my God, John! | 0:52:59 | 0:53:01 | |
It's amazing! | 0:53:03 | 0:53:04 | |
That is my bobbles on that tree! | 0:53:07 | 0:53:09 | |
SHE GASPS He's got a Christmas turkey! | 0:53:09 | 0:53:13 | |
You are mental. | 0:53:15 | 0:53:16 | |
-You love Christmas! -I know I love Christmas, I do. | 0:53:16 | 0:53:20 | |
You love Christmas, I love the Miners'! You love trendy stuff. | 0:53:20 | 0:53:25 | |
-And you don't. -Yeah! Hence the cake. | 0:53:25 | 0:53:28 | |
Oh, John! | 0:53:31 | 0:53:33 | |
Oh, my God! | 0:53:34 | 0:53:36 | |
I can't believe it's a nose cake! | 0:53:38 | 0:53:41 | |
At least I'll be able to shave a bit off it. | 0:53:43 | 0:53:45 | |
That's what I was thinking - save us three and a half grand! | 0:53:45 | 0:53:48 | |
I can't believe this is the Miners'! | 0:53:50 | 0:53:52 | |
This could be anywhere in the world, but this is where we met. That's why it's special to ME. | 0:53:52 | 0:53:56 | |
Yeah, and you love the Miners', any excuse! | 0:53:56 | 0:54:01 | |
-To John and Jackie. -Well done. -Thank you. | 0:54:01 | 0:54:05 | |
Man alive! | 0:54:07 | 0:54:09 | |
This is the Miners'?! | 0:54:10 | 0:54:12 | |
-This is unbelievable. -It's Christmas. | 0:54:12 | 0:54:15 | |
I've never seen the Miners' look so good. Absolutely brilliant. | 0:54:15 | 0:54:19 | |
CHEERING | 0:54:19 | 0:54:22 | |
On behalf of my wife and I... | 0:54:34 | 0:54:36 | |
CHEERING | 0:54:36 | 0:54:39 | |
..Merry Christmas! | 0:54:40 | 0:54:42 | |
Credit where credit is due, you have completely nailed it today, | 0:54:42 | 0:54:46 | |
like, everyone is so happy with you. | 0:54:46 | 0:54:50 | |
-The bride and groom. -The bride and groom! | 0:54:50 | 0:54:53 | |
Normally what we say is that everything John does turns to gold! | 0:54:53 | 0:54:56 | |
It's been an amazing, amazing, amazing day from basically start... | 0:54:56 | 0:55:01 | |
-..to finish. -On behalf of everybody in here, Jackie, we can all say you've got some pair of balls today! | 0:55:02 | 0:55:08 | |
Perfect. Couldn't have went any better. | 0:55:09 | 0:55:12 | |
Like, I slag the Miners' off | 0:55:12 | 0:55:15 | |
a lot. | 0:55:15 | 0:55:17 | |
-But I still come down here on a Sunday for the karaoke. -You do. | 0:55:18 | 0:55:21 | |
-And the good news is, we now have Mr and Mrs Clark membership. -Do we?! | 0:55:22 | 0:55:29 | |
I don't think I'll be using that. | 0:55:29 | 0:55:31 | |
I think I can say, hand on my heart... | 0:55:34 | 0:55:37 | |
..I'm never getting John out of Kirky. | 0:55:38 | 0:55:41 | |
Got another treat in store for you. | 0:55:41 | 0:55:44 | |
-In the toilets? -Yeah. I like my little touches. | 0:55:45 | 0:55:49 | |
Aw-w-w-w-w! Oh, my God! | 0:55:57 | 0:56:00 | |
-My lady doing the toilet! -I want one of them for the house. | 0:56:01 | 0:56:05 | |
Am I going to get home and there'll be real kittens in the house? | 0:56:07 | 0:56:10 | |
No. There'll be four bags of washing, four very large bags! | 0:56:10 | 0:56:15 | |
Next time, the pressure's on for Gloucester rugby lad Josh. | 0:56:17 | 0:56:20 | |
I hate shopping, I HATE shopping. | 0:56:20 | 0:56:23 | |
He's desperate to impress his demanding bride-to-be, Stacey. | 0:56:23 | 0:56:27 | |
Can you make me some breakfast, please? It's what I want, it's my wedding! | 0:56:27 | 0:56:31 | |
I don't know! Oh, my God, if I get it wrong... | 0:56:31 | 0:56:34 | |
But will Josh's good intentions be undone by bad decisions? | 0:56:34 | 0:56:37 | |
-There will be no wedding if no guests are allowed. -There will be. | 0:56:37 | 0:56:42 | |
Will this devoted prince give his princess the most romantic day of her life? | 0:56:42 | 0:56:45 | |
Is it really here? | 0:56:45 | 0:56:47 | |
MUSIC: 'The Joker' by The Steve Miller Band | 0:56:47 | 0:56:51 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:57:07 | 0:57:09 |