Nick and Vicky Don't Tell the Bride


Nick and Vicky

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This programme contains some strong language

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Five years of Don't Tell The Bride.

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48 brave brides. 48 game-on grooms.

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-Dozens of dress disasters.

-Don't panic.

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And one near miss.

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-Please, just get on the plane.

-I'm not coming. Game over.

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Now we're back for a whole new rollercoaster ride

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as 12 more blushing brides leave the biggest day of their lives...

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-Oh, my God.

-..in the hands of the men they love.

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The grooms get three weeks and £12,000...

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-12 Gs, man.

-Are you ready?

-All ready, mate.

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And the brides get no say in how it's spent.

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-I just don't want to do this any more.

-So saddle up for tears.

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-He's not going to get the right one.

-Tantrums.

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-Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?

-And total meltdowns.

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I can't plan a wedding. I can't do anything.

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Tonight, the stakes couldn't be any higher.

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This is to having a second chance at life.

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Bride-to-be Victoria has been married before.

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We were on a budget. The dresses were hired. Everything was cheap.

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And survived a life-threatening illness.

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We didn't know whether she would die or end up paralysed.

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So can groom Nick put the smile back on her face?

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I look stupid in it and it's funny. She'll laugh her head off.

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This is my wedding day. It's not a joke any more.

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Will he cope with the best woman's bad attitude?

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If you don't get it sorted in the next couple of days, you'll see my bad attitude.

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-Can controlling Victoria...

-He won't pick that because you said it's not what you want.

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-Resist the temptation to meddle?

-I wonder where Nick is now.

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Or will stress tip her over the edge?

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-It's a wedding, and there's like, no invites.

-Can this man...

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-Tell him I'll see you on Thursday.

-Really give this woman...

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-Let's teach him a lesson. No invitation, no bride.

-The second chance she deserves?

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I don't even want to get married now, because it's just a sham.

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This programme contains some strong language.

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Today, 28-year-old Victoria Bilio is saying goodbye to her fiance Nick

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so that he can arrange their wedding day.

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-I'm not driving with that in me car. It lives here.

-You're done.

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Victoria met Nick three years ago down the pub in their home town of Widnes near Liverpool.

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The rugby player caught her eye with an impromptu striptease.

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It was too hot, and he wanted to take his hoodie off.

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As he pulled it up, he revealed this rippling six-pack,

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and me and me sister were nudging each other under the table.

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And I was hooked after that, then, wasn't I? That did it for me.

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-Nick wasn't hooked quite as quickly.

-You didn't like me, did you?

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-You thought I was a loudmouth Scouser.

-Yeah. When she's not talking, she's nice.

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But that didn't stop him making the first move.

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He text me and said, "I think it's about time

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we became boyfriend and girlfriend."

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A bit cheesy.

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He may be cheesy, but how could Victoria resist this local rugby hero?

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27-year-old Nick has played

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top-flight rugby league for Warrington Wolves and Widnes Vikings.

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He now plays rugby sevens for England.

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I've been playing rugby since I was five years old. Four, five years old.

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Back then, you'd never think that I'd be here on this stage

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playing for England sevens. And it is a massive achievement,

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and it is every local player's dream come true.

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Victoria, who's training to work in hospital operating theatres, hasn't always had it so good.

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She got married seven years ago at the age of 21.

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-The wedding is an unhappy memory.

-It was done on a budget.

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And it was what could be afforded at the time,

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and I did have to hire my wedding dress.

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She had married too young, and the marriage didn't last.

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As if that wasn't bad enough,

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just two months into her relationship with Nick, disaster struck.

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She fell ill with a life-threatening condition.

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The illness first started with pins and needles.

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Then I started losing the use of my legs, hands,

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and it got progressively worse,

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up to the point where I couldn't do anything at all.

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Victoria was diagnosed with Guillan-Barre syndrome,

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an autoimmune disorder that attacks the nervous system.

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There was a chance that

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I could end up paralysed for the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

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It was a disastrous start to the relationship.

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I'm not supposed to know about this. I only found out about this recently.

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Mum and Dad actually took Nick out for a drink

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when they got the diagnosis of what I had wrong with me,

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and said to Nick, "Look, we know you've only been going out with each other for a couple of months.

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"If you want to walk away, we won't think bad of you."

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No, it had never entered my mind to leave her, no. Nope.

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-You could have walked away. You had loads of chances.

-I know.

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-It's too late now!

-Yeah, I know it is! You've seen me at me worst.

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When me face dropped and I couldn't even speak.

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I was just lying there like a vegetable.

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-Ice cream all over your face.

-Yeah, and you didn't walk.

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-You shaved my legs.

-Stop all your fussing.

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Are you crying?

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But after three months in hospital, she started to recover.

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Now, two years on, Victoria is completely back on her feet.

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And because of her illness, the couple have not been able

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to afford a place of their own, and live with Nick's parents.

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It's just me saving at the minute.

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It's difficult to have one person to save,

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and I helped her out with money, as well, so it's been very hard.

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Don't brush up next to me.

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The couple share a love for the great outdoors,

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be it fishing or going for country walks...with a metal detector?

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-Was definitely something there.

-Yeah! Oh, well.

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It's not a pot of gold. Maybe another day.

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Now Nick has to organise the biggest day of Victoria's life.

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After everything she's been through, the stakes are high.

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It's second time round now, second chance. It's a big deal.

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-For Nick, failure is not an option.

-I don't do things half-hearted.

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If I want to do it, do it properly. I don't want to fail.

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But he won't be the only one under pressure.

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Victoria's a girl who needs to be in control.

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I'm obsessed. I write lists.

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I plan everything.

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I've got a Filofax, everything goes into that.

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I am organised and I'm the total opposite to Nick.

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His approach to everything's dead relaxed... "Oh, it'll happen",

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"I'll get it out the drawer tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow!"

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-It'll be all right.

-It'll be all right.

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Rugby players aren't known for their feminine touch.

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I don't think many women

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would let a rugby player do their wedding for them, to be fair.

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Unfortunately, this one has

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and she might live to regret it!

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He thought, the other day, a favour

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-was something the guests owe you.

-I did.

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I've not got a clue about organising weddings.

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Super-organised Victoria,

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on the other hand, knows exactly how it should be.

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If I was to describe my wedding,

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it would be vintage glam.

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My ideal wedding would be elegant,

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flowery,

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summery,

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outdoors,

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with no horrible, tacky theme.

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Victoria's clear on what she wants,

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but unfortunately for her, so's Nick!

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I was thinking with me being a Royle surname and Vic going

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to become a Royle, I was thinking the Royal Wedding theme.

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I've got a good sense of humour when it comes to anything else,

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but when it comes to the wedding, no, I don't.

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It's time for Victoria to say goodbye

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and she's already finding it hard to hand over control.

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You think you can do it?

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Yeah! Easy!

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Really, Nick, it's not a rugby game,

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-it's a wedding, at the end of the day.

-I know.

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You need to organise, concentrate.

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We've got good mates, we'll sort it, we'll do it.

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Smash it.

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See, that's what I mean, it's not a rugby game.

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-It's pretty great.

-It's a wedding.

-Only a wedding.

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-It's not only a wedding.

-How much harder could it be?

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Very hard.

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Love you.

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I love you, too.

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-See you later.

-I'll miss you.

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The next time they see each other will be at the altar.

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She's gone.

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Home sweet home,

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for the next three weeks.

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Oh, what am I letting myself in for?

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Victoria is moving back in with her parents two miles away

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on the other side of Widnes.

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-Hiya!

-All right?

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She'll live with her mum and dad, sister and brother

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and they know her only too well.

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You're going to go mad.

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I just hope he doesn't get dead stressed.

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It's only natural, isn't it?

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But when he gets like that he might make stupid decisions.

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To help Nick make the right decisions,

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long-term friend Cpl Paul Reed, AKA Wingnut,

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has been drafted in as best man.

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Hopefully, his military training will come in handy.

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The little rule we live by is the six Ps -

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Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

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With his troops assembled in the form of brothers Ben and Jacob

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and mate Kevin,

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Nick heads down the pub for an evening of wedding planning.

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He wants to take inspiration from

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Will and Kate's big day for his Royal Wedding theme.

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Has anyone actually seen the Royal Wedding? I didn't see it.

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-Playing golf.

-I was in Seattle.

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So basically, we're doing a Royal Wedding and no one...

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out of us even watched the Royal Wedding.

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Yeah.

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Oh dear! Back to the drawing board.

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One thing Nick does know,

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is how he wants to take Victoria up the aisle.

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We can have the aisle coming up, which is long,

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we have the church...

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You're just drawing a massive penis!

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No!

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Can you stop it? This is serious shit, this.

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And then there's going to be Vic...

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Walking down the shaft!

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And then basically...

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Steady on, boys!

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This is Nick's interpretation of the wedding.

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I think Tor wouldn't think we're that imaginative.

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I now Tor doesn't know and I don't think she wants to guess.

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I think she just...Tor's not a person that'd be like,

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"Oh, I wonder what it is... I wonder what this..."

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-'Really?'

-Do you reckon he's remembered cars?

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And gifts for the bridesmaids and best men and...

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-I don't think you'll get them.

-No, I don't.

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Do you think we'll look bad?

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No. People'll understand.

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What about favours?

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Invitations?

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Table plans and stuff?

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Do you think he'll know the venue has to blend with the theme?

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I know I'm driving you mad... with stressing.

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I know I am, but...

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I've got no one else to talk to.

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While Victoria stresses,

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back at the pub, the boys are giving the royal theme all they've got.

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# God save our gracious Queen

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# God save our Queen. #

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God save Victoria(!)

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Victoria's disastrous first wedding

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was in a budget hotel.

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This time round, she wants a venue with serious wow factor.

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She's brought dad, Mike, and sister Helen, her chief bridesmaid,

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to the recently restored Palm House

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in Sefton Park.

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It's a glorious glass pavilion she used to visit as a child.

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The gardens are lovely.

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I've always wanted to get married here, haven't I?

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Yeah, it's something different... from your usual type of wedding.

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You certainly are different, Victoria.

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Victoria might be thinking differently,

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but she's not the only one.

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Nick and his brothers Jake and Ben are on the lookout

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for a wedding venue to host his Royal Wedding.

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Wills married Kate in Westminster Abbey. What regal setting has Nick in mind for his princess?

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I like this.

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A farm. A farm? Well, I suppose Prince Charles might approve.

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# I've got a brand-new combine harvester

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# And I'll give you the key. #

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Heaton House is a working farm

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but it does have a licence to hold weddings.

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For outdoorsy Nick, it's all about the setting.

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It's beautiful round here, it's lovely.

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The bulls, sheep, fish, cows, horses, everything.

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It may be rural on the outside but with a bit of vision,

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Nick is convinced he can make the inside suitably regal.

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We could see if we could hire two little throne things

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and the table decorations - we'll have red, white and blue flowers,

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serviettes...

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Way too good for a Scouser, isn't it?

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Hello, Victoria, I'm Laura. Pleased to meet you. Are you excited?

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I think it's gorgeous, it smells gorgeous.

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So, is this where you would get married?

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Yes, we would set up the Registrar table here

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and then that the chairs will face this way.

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I like the fact that it's light, bright. I like being outside.

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Just like Heaton House Farm. Not!

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In fact, the farm ceremony marquee is in total darkness.

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You could be married under the stars.

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This one was put in as an extra yesterday

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so you can literally have guests all the way around your marriage.

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I think I like it dark. I think I like that.

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I'd go mad if it was inside and dark, I really would.

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I wouldn't want to get married in somewhere dark and miserable.

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Unfortunately for Victoria,

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Nick will be taking her up the aisle in the dark.

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I like the smell.

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You wanted an outdoorsy wedding.

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-Do we get free permission for metal detecting?

-We can ask.

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I don't know if Vic will like it or not,

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but I'm doing what I think is nice.

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She loves the outdoors so I can't see why she'd hate it.

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Apart from the cows!

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Westminster Abbey it ain't, but at only £2400, including drinks,

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Heaton House Farm, with its scent of cow and dimly lit tent,

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gets the Royle seal of approval.

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Sorry!

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For the girl who was nearly paralysed,

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one part of her big day has special significance.

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I think it is important to walk down the aisle, definitely.

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Enjoy your last moment of freedom?

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No, more so the fact

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that it might not have been you and me walking down the aisle,

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it could have been me on a walking stick

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or me and a Zimmer frame.

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Some people haven't seen me since hospital at my worst.

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-For them to see me actually walking...

-That would be good.

-A picture of health, we hope.

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It would be good for us as well, won't it? It's been a long haul.

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You've nursed me back to health

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and now you're giving me to Nick to look after me.

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Oh, my God!

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It's just over a week since the couple separated

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and committed to his tent on a farm,

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Nick needs to figure out how to make it fit for royalty.

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He's travelled across the country to Leeds

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to rifle for regal regalia at a prop house.

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We can make it look Royal without going over the top,

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without it being too tacky.

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Why did you point at yourself then?

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I'm surprised there's not a mirror in front of him!

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So, if Big Ben, a bulldog and a throne isn't tacky, what is?

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-They're quite good though, aren't they?

-That should do it.

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Nick hires two thrones

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and a couple of guardsmen for the princely sum of £600.

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Let's hope Queen Victoria likes a bit of tack or it'll be...

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Off with his head!

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Over in Widnes, dark clouds are gathering.

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With a week and a half to go until the wedding,

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for the girl who needs to be in control, the stress is starting to mount.

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When do you think we'll get some invites? Find something out?

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-I don't know.

-I just would have thought he would have sent something

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but not just that, just to send me an invite

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so I have some kind of contact with him.

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I thought he would have been missing me and been excited about sending...

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I'm sure he is missing you but how do you know that the invites haven't already gone out?

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-It would have been nice to hear something by now.

-I know you're stressing...

-I'm not stressing,

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I just would have liked to have heard something from him.

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I'm sure you will soon. Give him a chance.

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The whole point of this wedding is me being there.

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-Victoria, I'm sure you're going to get an invitation, don't stress.

-I won't.

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Helen decides the boys need a nudge.

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Hello?

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Everybody is asking me when are the invites going out?

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Invites?

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In the next couple of days, hopefully.

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It's as and when they get done.

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Right, OK.

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So you can rest easy tonight.

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Well, I can't, can I?

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I've still got to live here with these lot!

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Tell you something right now,

0:17:480:17:50

if you don't get sorted in the next couple of days,

0:17:500:17:53

you'll see my bad attitude!

0:17:530:17:54

Ask Nick what I'm like if I get a mood on.

0:17:560:18:00

Seriously though, lads, I'm really trying to hold the fort here

0:18:000:18:04

before everyone just has a mad stress kick-off.

0:18:040:18:07

Oh, my God!

0:18:120:18:13

Nick may be clueless about weddings

0:18:150:18:17

but he does know how to cope with pressure.

0:18:170:18:19

As an elite athlete, he's trained to win.

0:18:270:18:30

He is very competitive, he's a fricking nightmare.

0:18:300:18:33

He's always got to be the best.

0:18:330:18:34

And there's no reason why this wedding should be any different.

0:18:340:18:38

Failure is never an option.

0:18:380:18:39

Not at all!

0:18:390:18:41

100% success rate, I reckon.

0:18:410:18:43

Do you think she'll cry?

0:18:430:18:45

I don't know, I'm not.

0:18:460:18:49

She is a girl, isn't she?

0:18:490:18:50

But there are girls, and there are girls.

0:18:500:18:53

Nick has faced some of the toughest rugby teams in the world

0:18:530:18:56

but they were just a warm-up for today's game.

0:18:560:18:58

It's time to shop for the bridesmaids' dresses.

0:18:580:19:01

Hannah and Hayley have Victoria's sister, Helen, on their team.

0:19:010:19:05

We want to look classy but not boring.

0:19:050:19:07

We just don't show any enthusiasm if they pick anything horrible.

0:19:070:19:11

With Helen's famous bad attitude to contend with,

0:19:110:19:14

competitive Nick is going to have to play a blinder.

0:19:140:19:17

Bridesmaids?

0:19:170:19:20

We need to kit you girls up.

0:19:200:19:23

Nicely!

0:19:230:19:27

Ladies and gents, let's have a good, clean game, shall we?

0:19:270:19:30

Which way to the dresses?

0:19:300:19:32

I don't know, you're in charge.

0:19:320:19:34

Nick's colour scheme is red, white and blue

0:19:340:19:36

and with the bride in white,

0:19:360:19:38

there's really only one choice for the bridesmaids.

0:19:380:19:41

Is that nice, Paul? I don't know girls' stuff.

0:19:410:19:46

No, Nick. Nick? No!

0:19:460:19:48

No-one is a size 10.

0:19:500:19:52

There's a size 12.

0:19:520:19:54

It'll look better on, girls. Chin up! Chin up!

0:19:560:20:02

They're going to be slagging us off in there.

0:20:020:20:04

Who wears that? That's from 1993.

0:20:040:20:08

Oh, my God! I look like I'm going to a school prom.

0:20:080:20:11

-It's the colour.

-It's horrible.

0:20:110:20:13

It feels like...

0:20:130:20:15

Check out the face on that.

0:20:190:20:21

Oh, gorgeous.

0:20:210:20:22

They're not all that bad.

0:20:220:20:24

Nick, Nick, I'm telling you now, our Victoria will not like this.

0:20:240:20:28

Nick, is this serious?

0:20:280:20:30

Look, we need to try things on.

0:20:300:20:33

I thought they were all right.

0:20:330:20:35

We're not experts so...

0:20:350:20:37

Until we see them on.

0:20:370:20:39

Next dresses!

0:20:390:20:41

No way, I'm not wearing this.

0:20:410:20:42

This is actually worse than the first one.

0:20:420:20:45

-It looks cheap and tacky.

-It does.

0:20:450:20:47

This is 1970s disco!

0:20:470:20:49

They look jag. It doesn't zip up.

0:21:000:21:03

Excuse me, go back into your cave and we'll go and get another one.

0:21:030:21:08

We're going to enjoy our brew.

0:21:080:21:10

If Helen comes out with that face again...

0:21:100:21:14

Seriously?

0:21:140:21:15

Can we establish something? If you come out and pull that face every time, Helen,

0:21:150:21:19

we will just give you terrible dresses, just until you start being nice.

0:21:190:21:23

-It looks like crepe paper.

-It does!

0:21:230:21:25

So why don't you think about us? Why did you pick it off the rail?

0:21:250:21:29

Oh, is this one shoulder?

0:21:290:21:31

Oh, one shoulder is nice, give it a chance.

0:21:310:21:34

That could look nice but it could look a bit Club Tropicana.

0:21:340:21:37

Trolls, come on!

0:21:370:21:38

-They're quite nice actually.

-Don't like it.

0:21:430:21:46

-Hayley, what do you think?

-I quite like this one, but I'm not sure Victoria would.

0:21:460:21:50

This has got nothing to do with her.

0:21:500:21:53

-It's her wedding.

-It's our wedding. She's left us have to plan it.

0:21:530:21:57

I think they're nice. You're just fussy buggers - do you like it?

0:21:570:22:00

-It's not the worst.

-Best of a bad bunch.

-That's what we said.

0:22:020:22:05

It looks nice. You look lovely, honest.

0:22:050:22:08

-From a lad's point of view, you look fit.

-Really?

0:22:080:22:12

You look bang tidy.

0:22:120:22:13

THEY LAUGH

0:22:130:22:14

Ah, the power of a compliment(!)

0:22:140:22:17

Let me see the back. Turn round.

0:22:170:22:19

That's nice. You're having it.

0:22:190:22:22

THEY LAUGH

0:22:220:22:23

What do you think, lad?

0:22:240:22:25

I don't care. It fits them all so they can have it.

0:22:250:22:28

That's another £360 gone,

0:22:280:22:31

together with the goodwill of his future sister-in-law.

0:22:310:22:34

-She's going to hate these dresses.

-Is she?

-Yeah.

0:22:340:22:38

Helen may know something about the wedding, but Victoria still doesn't.

0:22:380:22:45

Hating being left in the dark, she's decided to find out exactly what Nick is planning.

0:22:450:22:49

Hiya, you OK?

0:22:490:22:52

-From a psychic.

-I'm Jenny.

-Hello.

0:22:520:22:54

As you do.

0:22:540:22:56

Right, we're in here.

0:22:560:22:58

-So, have you had a reading done before?

-I have by friends.

0:22:580:23:00

Right, OK.

0:23:000:23:02

I start off with my unicorn cards

0:23:020:23:04

and then I'll move on to my tarot cards.

0:23:040:23:07

-And if anyone wants to come and say hello, spirit-wise, they will do.

-OK.

0:23:070:23:11

That card up there just gives me

0:23:110:23:13

the overall feeling of what's happening at the moment.

0:23:130:23:18

Cos that card signifies that you're really having to hold things together

0:23:180:23:22

cos everything feels really out of the norm for you.

0:23:220:23:26

Whatever gives her that idea?

0:23:260:23:28

I'm going to say now what you think is going to happen.

0:23:280:23:31

The wedding is right.

0:23:310:23:34

-I don't know, you've got a few ideas going around your head.

-I have.

0:23:340:23:37

But Victoria wants details.

0:23:370:23:41

I get more of like a marquee.

0:23:410:23:44

What they're showing me is like lights at the top...

0:23:440:23:47

like, twinkly lights inside for the evening do.

0:23:470:23:51

-It's not a dark room? Cos I don't want to get married in a dark room.

-No.

0:23:510:23:55

-Good.

-I've actually got...

0:23:550:23:58

I've gone all funny now.

0:23:580:23:59

-I got a bit of a beam of sunlight from a big window.

-That sounds good.

0:23:590:24:04

It seems like quite an old window with that coming through

0:24:040:24:07

-and you're at the front getting married. I

-want a big, happy, bright room with loads of light.

-Yeah.

-Yes.

0:24:070:24:13

I keep getting colours as well, like a blue and silver colour,

0:24:150:24:18

or deep blue.

0:24:180:24:20

-Is there a theme?

-I don't think so.

-OK.

0:24:230:24:27

Oh, there's definitely a theme.

0:24:270:24:29

And nothing says Royal Wedding better than bunting.

0:24:290:24:33

The boys have come to raid a local market of paraphernalia

0:24:330:24:37

left over from Will and Kate's big day.

0:24:370:24:40

Excuse me, have you got any flags like these? I need 60-odd of them.

0:24:400:24:45

Can we leave a deposit and we'll bring them back? Keep going.

0:24:450:24:48

This isn't what Royals do. Royals don't go round robbing stuff like this.

0:24:480:24:52

Nick's not the only Royle at the market.

0:24:520:24:54

-She's been eating her greens!

-Will and Kate have dropped in.

0:24:540:24:57

-Turn them to each other to kiss.

-Turn round, that's it.

0:24:570:25:00

Give Kate a whirl.

0:25:000:25:02

How many people can say they've been inside Kate?

0:25:040:25:07

THEY LAUGH

0:25:070:25:08

I was inside Will.

0:25:090:25:11

Bet the psychic didn't predict that! But what she did predict has satisfied Victoria.

0:25:110:25:16

I don't know if it's classed as cheating,

0:25:160:25:18

what I've just done, because, like,

0:25:180:25:20

although I don't know what's going on with the wedding,

0:25:200:25:23

if she's right, which I think she is, then I've just found out.

0:25:230:25:28

I'm going to have blue bridesmaids, which I'm not very happy about,

0:25:280:25:33

so, on that hand, I'm a bit peeved that I'm going to have blue.

0:25:330:25:37

But then she's described a nice dress, which is good,

0:25:370:25:40

so it's kind of a good balance.

0:25:400:25:42

Now that Victoria knows everything there is to know about the wedding,

0:25:420:25:46

maybe she can relax.

0:25:460:25:48

It's nearing the end of the second week and this rugby player's budget

0:25:480:25:52

is taking a battering.

0:25:520:25:54

He's spent £1,600 on decorations and flowers...

0:25:540:25:58

Probably have reds, whites and blues. Very Union Jack-ish.

0:25:580:26:01

..blown £2,700 on catering.

0:26:010:26:03

First time for trying asparagus.

0:26:030:26:06

But the cost of the cake was his dignity.

0:26:060:26:08

Cos my last name's Royle, and she's going to be a Royle,

0:26:080:26:11

we're doing the Royal Wedding.

0:26:110:26:13

SHE LAUGHS

0:26:130:26:14

So we're looking at red, white and blue.

0:26:140:26:16

I can do me best for you.

0:26:160:26:18

With another two grand earmarked for guest transport and treats on the day,

0:26:180:26:24

there's less than £2,000 left in the Royal treasury.

0:26:240:26:26

It's the day of the dreaded wedding dress shopping.

0:26:300:26:33

We've got to go and get a dress now.

0:26:330:26:36

And, despite the fact they need to fight a dress to rival

0:26:360:26:39

Kate Middleton's for less than a grand,

0:26:390:26:41

Nick and Wingnut are in high spirits.

0:26:410:26:43

HE SINGS

0:26:430:26:45

This is what's going to make or break the start of her day.

0:26:450:26:48

And if we mess this up she's going to be in a bad mood.

0:26:480:26:51

Excuse-moi, excuse-moi, excuse-moi. Yes.

0:26:510:26:54

At Victoria's first wedding she wore a rented dress that didn't fit.

0:26:550:26:59

This time she's desperate to have the dress of her dreams.

0:26:590:27:02

-Hiya, all right?

-Hiya, Pauline.

-Nice to meet you, love.

0:27:020:27:05

She's showing mum Kath and sister Helen the style that she wants -

0:27:050:27:10

a simple, classy number.

0:27:100:27:12

-That might be too full.

-So you don't like all the flouncy stuff?

0:27:140:27:18

No. I want it just plain and simple.

0:27:180:27:20

I don't like a lot of bling, I only like a little bit.

0:27:200:27:24

Playing rugby for England isn't the best training

0:27:240:27:27

for how to choose a wedding dress.

0:27:270:27:29

But if ever there was a time when failure was not an option,

0:27:290:27:32

this is it.

0:27:320:27:33

OK, do you want to have a little look round first?

0:27:330:27:35

-Yeah, is that OK?

-Yes, no problem.

-OK.

0:27:350:27:38

-They all look the same.

-They do all actually look the same.

0:27:380:27:41

-At least the colours fit his theme.

-I'm getting worried now. I'm scared.

0:27:410:27:46

Could be... I just... I don't...

0:27:480:27:50

I don't know, Paul. I don't know.

0:27:500:27:53

Victoria thought she knew, but she's starting to change her mind.

0:27:530:27:56

I said I didn't want lace,

0:27:560:27:58

but these are kind of catching my eye a little bit.

0:27:580:28:00

Suddenly it's the bigger princessy dresses that she likes the look of.

0:28:000:28:04

That's nice.

0:28:040:28:05

-It's gorgeous.

-I like the bottom. And I didn't think I would.

0:28:070:28:10

This is something that I would definitely not pick.

0:28:100:28:12

The back's got a nice little fancy button detail on it as well.

0:28:120:28:16

This is a nice princess dress for Princess Victoria.

0:28:160:28:20

-After all, I am going to be a Royle, aren't I?

-Yeah.

0:28:200:28:23

-Did you know that his name is Royle?

-No, I didn't.

-Yeah, yeah.

0:28:250:28:28

-So you're going to be part of royalty?

-Yeah, Victoria Royle I'm going to be.

0:28:280:28:31

-Proper regal name.

-Regal name, yeah. I didn't want to be centre of attention

0:28:310:28:35

and have a big showy day, but now I'm sort of like,

0:28:350:28:38

-I want a big dress, I want people to know I'm the bride.

-Yeah.

0:28:380:28:40

I'm going to be dead disappointed now, aren't I, if I don't get it?

0:28:400:28:45

He's not going to pick anything like that cos you told him

0:28:460:28:49

that's not what you want.

0:28:490:28:51

She's been on his case since the moment they got engaged.

0:28:510:28:55

Oh, no.

0:28:550:28:56

Victoria's filled Nick's head with the idea of buying a plain dress.

0:28:560:29:01

-I know. And now she's changed her mind.

-And now she's changed her mind.

0:29:010:29:04

"I want this one, Nick. I'd like one like this."

0:29:040:29:07

I didn't think he was paying attention, to be honest, when she told him, anyway.

0:29:070:29:11

Looks like he was paying attention.

0:29:130:29:15

The groom's looking at simple dresses.

0:29:150:29:18

-Do you like that?

-Yeah.

0:29:180:29:20

What are you saying? You like the boobs?

0:29:200:29:23

You're trying to make me go red, aren't you?

0:29:230:29:25

It's quite nice, isn't it? It'll look nice on Tor's bum!

0:29:250:29:30

Victoria's really taking her princess theme and running with it.

0:29:300:29:35

This is another one I said I wouldn't like. And I didn't want tulle, did I?

0:29:350:29:40

-Oh.

-That's lovely, that one.

0:29:400:29:43

The bigger the better, I think.

0:29:430:29:45

You look even more like a princess now.

0:29:450:29:48

-That's lovely.

-It's gorgeous.

-It's absolutely gorgeous.

0:29:480:29:51

The more I try on the bigger ones the more I want a bigger one.

0:29:510:29:54

I'm starting to stress.

0:29:540:29:56

-What's your nightmare dress that you could get?

-Nightmare dress?

0:29:560:30:00

Something dead, dead plain with no detail on.

0:30:000:30:03

Back in the boys' camp

0:30:030:30:05

and Nick's narrowed his choice down to two dead plain dresses.

0:30:050:30:08

HE WHISTLES

0:30:080:30:09

-God, the dilemma!

-Hmm.

0:30:090:30:12

That's got such a nice front, but that's got such a nice rear.

0:30:120:30:15

Hey!

0:30:150:30:17

THEY LAUGH

0:30:170:30:18

-What, the dress? Or...

-Ding-dong!

0:30:180:30:20

-He solves the dilemma as only a sporting man can.

-Right, OK.

0:30:200:30:24

-Toss-up - that one or that one front on?

-The right one.

0:30:240:30:26

Good decision, mate.

0:30:260:30:28

Believing he's bang on the money with Victoria's dress,

0:30:280:30:31

Nick's looking at a bill of £1,400, but it's more than he can afford.

0:30:310:30:36

It's £604 well over our budget.

0:30:360:30:39

-OK.

-We'll pay the £1,404, but would you be able to throw in the shoes

0:30:390:30:44

and a tiara?

0:30:440:30:45

OK, we will help you with that.

0:30:450:30:47

Not only is Victoria going to get the dress she no longer wants...

0:30:470:30:50

See you, girls.

0:30:500:30:51

..but it's also blown the budget.

0:30:510:30:54

It's going to mean cutbacks to her dream day.

0:30:540:30:57

It's the weekend before the wedding and time for the royal stags

0:30:590:31:02

and hens to let their hair down.

0:31:020:31:06

With just £600 left in the budget, Nick's foregoing the traditional blowout

0:31:060:31:10

and taking the stags camping.

0:31:100:31:12

Oh, who's done that? Oh, my God!

0:31:120:31:15

But there's no holding back on the hen do.

0:31:150:31:17

THEY CHANT

0:31:170:31:21

Do you know what this is? This is to having a second chance at life.

0:31:210:31:26

THEY CHEER

0:31:260:31:28

To second chances!

0:31:280:31:30

Second chances are on Nick's mind, too.

0:31:330:31:36

This wedding just will mean so much to us

0:31:370:31:40

because of everything she's been through.

0:31:400:31:42

She was so ill. You didn't know if she was going to die, if she was going to live,

0:31:420:31:46

whether she was going to end up paralysed.

0:31:460:31:48

It's heartbreaking when you see someone like that.

0:31:500:31:53

That's why I'm putting everything into this as well,

0:31:550:31:58

cos she does, cos she's done so well and she deserves it.

0:31:580:32:02

I'm looking forward to being married.

0:32:030:32:06

I am.

0:32:070:32:09

I think.

0:32:090:32:11

The hen do doesn't end at the pub.

0:32:110:32:14

Nick's arranged for his princess to dance around her handbag.

0:32:140:32:18

I'm so looking forward to tonight.

0:32:190:32:22

But you know what I'm looking forward to even more?

0:32:220:32:25

Marrying Nick.

0:32:250:32:27

ALL: Aaww!

0:32:270:32:29

I love him to bits.

0:32:290:32:32

THEY CHEER

0:32:320:32:34

I just want to be Mrs Royle.

0:32:340:32:36

THEY CHEER

0:32:360:32:40

I love him. I love him so much I could eat him.

0:32:410:32:44

THEY SCREAM

0:32:440:32:46

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

0:32:460:32:49

I'm having a good time, yeah. He's done me proud.

0:32:510:32:54

I'm so drunk.

0:32:560:32:58

I'm so drunk, honestly.

0:32:580:33:01

But I'm having a good night, so even if the wedding's bad,

0:33:030:33:06

the hen do was boss.

0:33:060:33:08

SHE LAUGHS

0:33:080:33:10

Oh, stop it.

0:33:100:33:12

It's the week of the wedding.

0:33:120:33:14

The Royal coffers are almost bare

0:33:140:33:16

and the gold-embossed invitations have yet to land on the guests' mats.

0:33:160:33:19

But his colour scheme is coming on nicely.

0:33:190:33:22

With the bride in white and bridesmaids in blue,

0:33:220:33:25

now he just needs someone to wear red.

0:33:250:33:27

So he's come up with a plan to amuse Queen Victoria.

0:33:270:33:29

It's the two Beefeaters.

0:33:290:33:31

THEY LAUGH

0:33:310:33:33

Right, go and try them on and come back in in a minute.

0:33:330:33:36

Though brother Ben and mate Gaz don't find it so funny.

0:33:360:33:39

This is so shit.

0:33:390:33:42

HE LAUGHS

0:33:440:33:46

Fucking quality!

0:33:500:33:52

I'm not bothered how tikey it looks, they look stupid and it's funny.

0:33:560:34:00

So it's happening.

0:34:000:34:01

Stood like that, dressed up, she'll laugh her head off.

0:34:030:34:05

But Victoria isn't in the mood for laughing.

0:34:050:34:08

She's convinced Nick should have arranged to have her nails and eyebrows done by now,

0:34:080:34:12

so she and sister Helen are taking matters into their own hands.

0:34:120:34:16

I would've thought he would've arranged this by now, wouldn't you?

0:34:160:34:19

Yeah. He is leaving things like this a bit last minute now.

0:34:190:34:23

Are you really disappointed, though?

0:34:230:34:25

That he never remembered to get this done?

0:34:250:34:27

-Yeah.

-I am, actually.

0:34:270:34:28

Everyone gets their nails done on their wedding day, don't they?

0:34:280:34:31

Yeah. I can't believe he forgot. I'm a little bit annoyed.

0:34:330:34:37

Over in Chester, Nick is thinking of her, just not her nails.

0:34:370:34:42

It needs to be strapless. Is that what a strapless bra looks like?

0:34:420:34:46

Just when did underwear shopping become a team sport?

0:34:460:34:49

The only thing you know with Victoria is even though she's an 8,

0:34:490:34:52

she doesn't like 'em fitted, she likes 'em baggy.

0:34:520:34:55

-A baggy thong?

-Mate, seriously.

-That's so sexy(!)

-She's weird.

0:34:550:34:58

THEY LAUGH

0:34:580:35:00

Well, for one day, she's going to get what she's given.

0:35:000:35:02

With the wedding in three days,

0:35:020:35:04

what Victoria really wants is for the invites to be sent out.

0:35:040:35:08

Everyone keeps asking me, "When are we getting the invites?"

0:35:080:35:12

What's Nick playing at?

0:35:120:35:13

It's not like it is a "trip to the pub," it's a wedding.

0:35:130:35:16

And there's, like, no invites out at all now, three days to go.

0:35:160:35:21

How do I stress when you say, last minute,

0:35:210:35:23

"Do you want to go to the pub?"

0:35:230:35:24

-I can't go to the pub last minute, can I?

-No.

0:35:240:35:27

I've got to be ready up here, in my head.

0:35:270:35:29

-You've got to check your diary.

-Yeah!

0:35:290:35:31

Probably get them on Thursday morning.

0:35:310:35:33

Do you know what I'd love to do if we don't get one? Not come. Not turn up.

0:35:330:35:38

The psychic said, "Monday or Tuesday."

0:35:390:35:41

They told me, "By the weekend at the latest." The weekend's been and gone.

0:35:410:35:45

The weekend. Let's teach him a lifelong learning lesson.

0:35:450:35:48

No invitation, no bride.

0:35:480:35:50

Oh, my God.

0:35:520:35:53

Nick has a good excuse why nobody's received an invite yet.

0:35:530:35:56

He's not finished writing them.

0:35:560:35:57

I'd rather be outside now, having a barbecue with the lads,

0:35:570:36:01

but it's my own fault.

0:36:010:36:02

What an idiot. What an idiot.

0:36:020:36:05

-When's the wedding?

-In a few days.

0:36:050:36:08

Three days?

0:36:080:36:09

It's not enough that the boys are giving him a hard time,

0:36:090:36:12

Victoria's got Helen on the warpath too.

0:36:120:36:14

-Hiya, Nick.

-How are you, you OK?

0:36:140:36:16

Basically, Nick, I need to know, when are the invites going out?

0:36:160:36:20

We had a slight problem. There was a problem

0:36:200:36:23

at the shop, cos I had them specially made, you see.

0:36:230:36:26

'Oh, right, OK.'

0:36:260:36:27

And then they messed it up and they sent them to the wrong branch,

0:36:270:36:30

so then we couldn't pick them up until Saturday morning.

0:36:300:36:33

-OK, that's fair enough.

-All right, then.

-'Yeah, that's fine.'

0:36:330:36:37

Yeah, everyone will have them by Wednesday.

0:36:370:36:40

OK, and Victoria's getting hers tomorrow?

0:36:400:36:43

Hers is specially made, hers is different as well.

0:36:430:36:45

-It's different again.

-'OK, that's fine.'

0:36:450:36:48

That's fair enough, then, if that's not his fault

0:36:500:36:52

if there's been a problem.

0:36:520:36:54

How did you keep such a straight face? Lying!

0:36:540:36:57

Specially made, my arse.

0:36:570:36:59

It's time to break the news to Victoria.

0:36:590:37:01

-You're going to get your invite tomorrow...

-And what's his excuse?

0:37:010:37:04

..Definitely. Just hang on.

0:37:040:37:06

Everybody else is going to get theirs on Wednesday.

0:37:060:37:08

The reason it's took so long is not Nick's fault.

0:37:080:37:11

They've had to get them specially made

0:37:110:37:13

and either they didn't make them right,

0:37:130:37:15

or they sent them to the wrong place.

0:37:150:37:17

I couldn't really hear what he said.

0:37:170:37:19

That's bullshit. You don't send invitations out a day before.

0:37:190:37:22

But that's not his fault, there's been a problem.

0:37:220:37:25

Then you come up with an alternative.

0:37:250:37:27

But he's paid to have them specially made.

0:37:270:37:29

I don't believe that for one second.

0:37:290:37:31

Well, whether you believe it or not, that's what he said,

0:37:310:37:34

so don't shoot the messenger.

0:37:340:37:35

-Who's doing mine?

-You're getting yours specially made.

0:37:350:37:38

Yours is different.

0:37:380:37:40

And who's making it, Australia? Delivered by pigeon?

0:37:400:37:44

He's an idiot.

0:37:440:37:45

I'm just going to the bathroom.

0:37:450:37:48

She's just overreacting.

0:37:480:37:50

I think you should just ring him and tell him, I'm not coming. Tell him!

0:37:500:37:55

Unless there's a real reason as to why these invitations

0:37:550:37:59

haven't gone out and they're not going out till Wednesday.

0:37:590:38:02

-It's not on.

-He did give you a real reason!

-No, that's...

0:38:020:38:04

That's not even real! That is a load of lies. That's pathetic!

0:38:040:38:08

Ring him up and tell him if them invitations don't go out tonight,

0:38:080:38:11

there won't BE a wedding!

0:38:110:38:12

But he might not physically have them.

0:38:120:38:15

Ring him now and tell him. Cos I'm not coming. I don't care.

0:38:150:38:17

-What's so funny? What's so funny?

-Cos he's not going to be able to do it!

0:38:170:38:21

Ring him and tell him now or I will not be there!

0:38:210:38:24

I've had enough now, Mum, this is my wedding day.

0:38:240:38:26

It's not a joke any more.

0:38:260:38:28

Why didn't you say to him, "That's not good enough"?

0:38:280:38:31

You're supposed to be helping me, Helen!

0:38:310:38:34

Right, he physically cannot get them out any sooner.

0:38:340:38:37

You don't send invitations out 24 hours before!

0:38:370:38:40

You can't do this to people. It's wrong!

0:38:400:38:43

I don't even want to get married now, cos it's just a sham.

0:38:430:38:46

You don't mess people about like that.

0:38:460:38:48

-So has he got them there now?

-I don't know.

0:38:490:38:52

You were supposed to ring up and ask all this. Are you thick?!

0:38:520:38:56

SHE LAUGHS

0:38:570:38:59

Do you know what? Obviously I am, so you can ring him yourself.

0:38:590:39:04

Oblivious to the storm raging across town,

0:39:040:39:08

Nick has finally finished the invites.

0:39:080:39:09

Clench!

0:39:090:39:11

I hope that's not hers.

0:39:110:39:13

I'll just take this now.

0:39:130:39:15

THEY LAUGH

0:39:150:39:17

The next day, and Victoria finally receives a special delivery.

0:39:210:39:26

There's no-one. Oh, no! Oh, how embarrassing!

0:39:270:39:31

-What the hell is that?

-He's put it on a crutch!

0:39:310:39:34

-No, it's not, it's a metal detector.

-Is it a little map?

0:39:340:39:38

"It's buried in the garden, under your dad's lawn."

0:39:380:39:41

Dad's going to kill him.

0:39:410:39:42

-That's amazing.

-In the front or the back?

-Back.

0:39:420:39:44

-Oh, there's loads of stuff here.

-I can't believe he's making us...

0:39:460:39:51

My dad is going to kill him.

0:39:510:39:53

Such a romantic gesture.

0:39:530:39:56

METAL DETECTOR BUZZES

0:39:560:39:57

Oh!

0:39:570:40:00

-Dig?

-Dig.

0:40:000:40:01

-What the hell?

-It's in a Tupperware box!

0:40:040:40:07

That's our little box that we put all our findings in.

0:40:070:40:11

"Victoria Bilio, soon to be Royle,

0:40:130:40:15

"you are invited to the marriage of me and you, Thursday 1st September."

0:40:150:40:20

-"The marriage of me and you."

-"Be ready to leave by 11.45."

0:40:200:40:25

Let's go to the pub.

0:40:250:40:26

Let's go and celebrate you knowing it's Thursday.

0:40:260:40:29

But in the pub, Victoria receives a timely reminder

0:40:290:40:32

why she should sometimes relax her control, just a little bit.

0:40:320:40:36

-Oh, my God, are you joking me?

-What?

0:40:360:40:40

"Hi, what time can Tor be available tomorrow

0:40:400:40:43

"for an eyebrow and nail job?"

0:40:430:40:45

I'm not even lying!

0:40:450:40:47

-I feel dead bad.

-He's getting your nails done and everything.

-Too late!

0:40:470:40:51

I've been shellac-ed!

0:40:510:40:53

-Do you want me to say just, "Too late"?

-You'll have to.

0:40:530:40:57

"Too late. She had her eyebrows and nails done yesterday."

0:40:570:41:00

Is this just a big joke? Has she planned a wedding as well?

0:41:020:41:05

And we don't know about it?

0:41:050:41:07

"Are you..." a swear word, "..ing winding me up?"

0:41:070:41:11

Say no.

0:41:110:41:13

Just say, "Let's be honest, it's a bit short notice having it done

0:41:130:41:16

"the day before the wedding, or the night before.

0:41:160:41:19

-"What if she has a reaction?"

-To the eyebrow wax?

-Yeah.

0:41:190:41:24

I feel bad, but I'm glad I've still got mine done.

0:41:240:41:26

THEY LAUGH

0:41:260:41:30

-I'd say it's better to let him down than you down.

-You know what?

0:41:300:41:33

Let it be a lesson to them all involved in the planning.

0:41:330:41:36

Proper preparation and planning prevents piss-poor performance.

0:41:360:41:39

THEY LAUGH

0:41:390:41:40

-Frickin' bitch.

-Told you, she's joking, isn't she?

-No, she's not.

0:41:420:41:45

"No, you took too long.

0:41:450:41:47

"Preparation and planning prevents piss-poor performance."

0:41:470:41:51

She's using my pissing saying now.

0:41:510:41:53

Can it and don't send anyone round

0:41:530:41:55

and when she turns up looking like a boy cos she's got a monobrow,

0:41:550:41:59

cos they've been winding us up...

0:41:590:42:01

-Fine.

-Tell Monobrow I'll see her on Thursday.

0:42:010:42:04

THEY LAUGH

0:42:040:42:07

Unobrow! "I will never love another woman."

0:42:070:42:11

It's the day before Victoria Bilio marries Nick Royle

0:42:130:42:17

and the day she gets to see the dress all her hopes are riding on.

0:42:170:42:22

She wore a hired dress to her first wedding. This one is for keeps.

0:42:220:42:27

-Nervous, more than anything.

-Don't be nervous.

0:42:270:42:30

-Are you ready?

-No.

0:42:300:42:32

I don't think anyone's ever ready for this moment, are they?

0:42:320:42:36

Don't know, I've never experienced it.

0:42:360:42:38

Please don't let it be horrible.

0:42:380:42:41

Please don't let it be a horrible dress.

0:42:410:42:43

Victoria's heart is set on a princess dress with lots of sparkle.

0:42:430:42:47

Nick's bought her a plain, A-line frock with none.

0:42:470:42:50

I do feel a bit sick now.

0:42:500:42:52

I don't want to see it until it's on.

0:42:530:42:55

I think it's deceiving when it's on the hanger and I might not like it.

0:42:550:42:59

I'm not looking, I'm not spoiling it.

0:43:010:43:03

-You OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

0:43:070:43:10

Very, very nervous.

0:43:100:43:12

SHE GROANS

0:43:120:43:14

To your left.

0:43:140:43:16

A bit more to your left.

0:43:160:43:18

(Oh, my God.)

0:43:280:43:31

Don't get mascara on it.

0:43:340:43:36

-It's beautiful.

-Oh, my God!

0:43:380:43:40

-It's nicer than the one we tried on in the shop.

-Are you pleased?

0:43:470:43:51

You look a million dollars in it, kid. You really do.

0:43:510:43:55

Oh, my God, it's gorgeous.

0:43:550:43:57

Oh, my God.

0:43:570:43:59

Love it. I do.

0:43:590:44:01

-You look gorgeous in it.

-You look absolutely stunning.

0:44:030:44:07

-The back's fantastic.

-I think he knew what I wanted more than I knew.

0:44:070:44:11

Oh, he's done really well.

0:44:130:44:14

-It's lovely.

-Do you know if he bought me any extras or anything?

0:44:140:44:18

-Extras?

-To go with the dress.

-Accessories?

-Yeah, accessories.

0:44:180:44:21

I have got some for you.

0:44:210:44:22

-Oh, no.

-Let's have a look.

0:44:270:44:31

Oh, they're horrible.

0:44:310:44:32

-Oh!

-They're very weddingy. Oh, look, "I do."

0:44:330:44:38

Aw. I don't like them, but I like that.

0:44:390:44:44

Aw, that's dead sweet.

0:44:460:44:48

-They look great on.

-See if I can walk in them, Dad!

0:44:500:44:54

I think you'll be able to.

0:44:540:44:55

The girl who nearly lost the use of her legs is one step closer

0:44:550:45:00

to her dream of being able to walk down the aisle.

0:45:000:45:03

-I can't wait for tomorrow!

-I can't now!

0:45:040:45:06

It feels dead real, all of a sudden.

0:45:060:45:08

-He's done well, really has.

-He has done well, hasn't he? Yeah.

0:45:100:45:14

I was really worried about coming here today.

0:45:140:45:16

I was really worried about looking like an idiot tomorrow.

0:45:160:45:20

I'm not now.

0:45:200:45:21

I'll be able to sleep tonight for the first time for three weeks.

0:45:210:45:25

It's the morning of the Royle wedding.

0:45:280:45:31

Down on the farm, Nick is rolling out the red carpet

0:45:310:45:35

for Princess Victoria, while his bride waits anxiously.

0:45:350:45:39

After her ill-fated first wedding and her crippling illness,

0:45:390:45:44

there is a lot riding on today for Victoria

0:45:440:45:47

-and her family.

-Are we off? Someone's here.

0:45:470:45:51

-Hiya.

-Hello! You've come to do my hair? Yes!

0:45:510:45:56

Nick has booked hair and make-up for his bride.

0:45:560:45:59

But after his coffers ran dry, other things have had to give.

0:45:590:46:03

-Are you coming to do our hair?

-I'm not, no.

0:46:030:46:05

-Are you not booked to do our hair?

-I'm not, no.

0:46:050:46:08

-You're not doing the bridesmaids?

-No. Sorry, bride only.

-Really?

0:46:080:46:13

The orders were just the bride.

0:46:130:46:15

-It's all right, I'll go like this(!)

-It's not just the bridesmaids' hair he's cut back on.

0:46:210:46:26

I've just had a text - hold on a minute.

0:46:260:46:28

"Just to inform you that you will be driving Vic in your car to the venue.

0:46:280:46:34

"Thanks a lot. I will give you five quid petty money."

0:46:340:46:39

Shall I reply and say, no chance?

0:46:420:46:45

Hel!

0:46:450:46:47

Nick's just texted Dad and said that Dad has got to drive me to the venue!

0:46:470:46:52

Do you know anyone who has a minibus and we could all go together?

0:46:550:46:59

-We'd have to pay.

-I haven't got any more money.

0:46:590:47:02

Have you got money over there, moneybags? We had to pay for our own hair!

0:47:020:47:06

-Yeah.

-Why is he telling us this now?

0:47:060:47:09

The whole point of today for the bride is to turn up in a nice car.

0:47:090:47:14

Not to turn up in your dad's estate.

0:47:140:47:17

With all the dog hair in it!

0:47:170:47:20

-The dogs have just been in it, to go to the kennels.

-I know.

0:47:200:47:24

-I am going to be covered in dog hair.

-I'm really pissed off.

0:47:240:47:29

You know when you get down the aisle and you turn to one another

0:47:290:47:33

and you're meant to give him a kiss, go...

0:47:330:47:36

I can't believe it.

0:47:380:47:41

Ring him up and tell him he's an idiot.

0:47:410:47:43

I'm really pissed off.

0:47:450:47:47

She's absolutely fuming. She said she's going to kill him.

0:47:470:47:52

-As they say, revenge is a dish best served cold.

-It is, Dad, it is.

-Yeah, see?

0:47:520:47:57

Definitely, Dad. If I'm walking, Nick is, now.

0:47:570:48:00

It's been a shaky start.

0:48:040:48:07

And now, Victoria is about to see her bridesmaids

0:48:070:48:11

in the blue dresses the psychic predicted, and she didn't want.

0:48:110:48:15

I can hear rustling.

0:48:200:48:21

Ohh!

0:48:250:48:27

THEY GIGGLE

0:48:270:48:30

Oh, you look dead nice!

0:48:300:48:31

Don't cry! We told you.

0:48:330:48:35

-Get a grip, come on.

-You look dead nice.

0:48:350:48:39

Even you, Helen!

0:48:390:48:40

Who'd have thought a rugby player could score with the dresses?

0:48:410:48:44

And now, Victoria can show off hers.

0:48:440:48:48

Aww, Victoria, you look gorgeous.

0:48:500:48:52

-You look stunning.

-Gorgeous.

0:48:520:48:56

-Do you like it?

-Yeah.

-It's stunning.

0:48:560:48:59

With Mum and the bridesmaids driving themselves,

0:49:000:49:04

Victoria braves her dad's dogmobile.

0:49:040:49:08

-It does say Rottweiler on board, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

0:49:080:49:11

Let's hope Nick's choice of venue doesn't leave her sick as a dog!

0:49:110:49:16

Down on the farm, the guests are arriving.

0:49:160:49:19

And Nick's unorthodox choice of venue is already raising

0:49:190:49:23

-a few eyebrows.

-Animal farm!

0:49:230:49:26

No way! Can't be.

0:49:260:49:29

Only the boys know what lies inside.

0:49:290:49:31

Everyone's going to be shocked when they come in here. It's unbelievable.

0:49:310:49:35

It's all the hard work, that's it, it's all come together now.

0:49:350:49:39

-He's crying!

-I can't help it!

-Jesus Christ, look like a right girl.

0:49:390:49:45

-Get the tissues out.

-By the way, these are man tears.

0:49:450:49:50

Let's get you married, let's do it.

0:49:510:49:54

Victoria and her dad are getting close.

0:49:550:49:58

But they've not been directed straight to the venue.

0:49:580:50:01

Where are we going?

0:50:010:50:02

She may be about to get married on a farm,

0:50:040:50:06

but Nick is not about to let his princess turn up in a jalopy.

0:50:060:50:10

Victoria will arrive in her very own horse and carriage,

0:50:100:50:14

just like Kate Middleton.

0:50:140:50:16

Oh, my God! Is that for me?

0:50:170:50:19

-Hi, Kev. You look lovely!

-So do you.

0:50:190:50:22

Is this for me?

0:50:220:50:23

The stresses of the morning are completely forgotten.

0:50:260:50:30

I'm really excited.

0:50:300:50:32

Didn't expect this.

0:50:320:50:35

I've got pains in my cheeks from smiling!

0:50:350:50:37

With one romantic gesture, Nick has made her feel like a princess.

0:50:370:50:42

But what will she make of the venue?

0:50:440:50:46

Heaton House Farm.

0:50:470:50:49

-I'm getting married in a farm!

-It's looking possible, isn't it?

-Yeah.

0:50:520:50:56

It's gorgeous.

0:50:560:50:58

I love it! I love it, honestly. I couldn't ask for any more.

0:51:010:51:05

Looks like Nick knew his outdoor-loving girl all along.

0:51:050:51:09

# There she was, just a girl

0:51:090:51:12

# She expected the world... #

0:51:120:51:14

For the girl who thought she'd never walk again,

0:51:140:51:18

these are the most important steps of her life.

0:51:180:51:22

Waiting for her at the end of the aisle is her second chance.

0:51:220:51:26

APPLAUSE

0:51:260:51:29

Thank you so much!

0:51:500:51:51

-Do you like the place?

-I love it.

0:51:530:51:56

-It's gorgeous.

-Good.

0:51:560:51:58

Ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon and welcome.

0:51:580:52:01

We are all gathered here this afternoon to celebrate the marriage of Nick and Victoria.

0:52:010:52:06

-You're enjoying this, aren't you?

-Yeah!

0:52:060:52:10

Right, Wingnut, it's your big moment, sir!

0:52:100:52:12

-Do you think you've got the ring somewhere, sir?

-I hope so.

-OK.

0:52:140:52:18

I'd like you to present Nick with Victoria's ring.

0:52:180:52:21

-Victoria, I give you this ring.

-Victoria, I give you this ring.

0:52:210:52:25

-As a symbol of our marriage.

-As a symbol of our marriage.

0:52:250:52:28

And a token of my love and affection.

0:52:280:52:31

And a token of my love and affection.

0:52:310:52:33

-Nick, I give you this ring.

-Nick, I give you this ring.

0:52:330:52:36

-As a symbol of our marriage.

-As a symbol of our marriage.

0:52:360:52:39

And a token of my love and affection.

0:52:390:52:41

And a token of my love and affection.

0:52:410:52:43

It gives me great pleasure to say that you are now husband and wife.

0:52:430:52:46

APPLAUSE

0:52:460:52:51

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up from Mr and Mrs Royle!

0:52:550:52:59

It may not have been the bright room that the psychic predicted,

0:53:000:53:04

but from the moment she walked in, Victoria only had eyes for one thing.

0:53:040:53:09

The way she was looking at Nick, she's very happy.

0:53:090:53:13

And there is one last surprise to be revealed.

0:53:130:53:16

-Nick's Royal Wedding theme.

-Are you ready?

-Am I standing still?

-Yeah.

0:53:160:53:21

Open your eyes.

0:53:210:53:23

Oh, my God!

0:53:230:53:24

So, it's a Royal Wedding, Victoria Royle!

0:53:290:53:33

Do you like it?

0:53:350:53:37

Oh, the thrones!

0:53:380:53:41

-You've got a picture of us!

-Yeah.

0:53:410:53:43

-Mrs Royle.

-Looks like Queen Victoria IS amused. Mission accomplished.

0:53:430:53:48

-Oh, my God, we've got, like, a Posh and Becks throne!

-Yeah.

-Oh, my God!

0:53:480:53:54

-Do you like the soldiers?

-I do!

0:53:540:53:56

It's not what I would have picked, but do you know what,

0:53:590:54:01

I can see why you've done it.

0:54:010:54:03

-I love it.

-Do you?

-Yeah, I do. It's tacky, but I love it!

-It's not tacky!

0:54:030:54:10

It's nice!

0:54:100:54:11

Please, you aren't going to cry?

0:54:130:54:16

It's all right, if Wingnut can cry, you can cry.

0:54:160:54:19

-Oh, thanks!

-It's all right.

0:54:200:54:22

Since the beginning of the day, we've had a boss day.

0:54:220:54:25

If I get too drunk and forget to tell you, I've had a good day today.

0:54:250:54:29

Thank you two for making idiots of yourselves!

0:54:320:54:34

FANFARE, CHEERING

0:54:370:54:41

Oh, my God!

0:54:460:54:48

Absolutely brilliant. And not too tacky!

0:54:500:54:55

Everything looks amazing, everyone's faces are just like, wow!

0:55:000:55:03

It's really good, yeah. Really proud of him.

0:55:030:55:06

Can you give a huge round of applause and raise your glass to the new Mr and Mrs Royle!

0:55:060:55:10

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:55:100:55:13

She's just so happy and I'm just so made up for her,

0:55:190:55:21

she really deserves this happiness.

0:55:210:55:24

Definitely. She's like Queen Royle now!

0:55:240:55:27

I haven't lost anything, I've gained something here today.

0:55:270:55:30

I've gained a right pain in the backside!

0:55:300:55:33

-LAUGHTER

-Who has actually ruined my lawn.

0:55:330:55:35

We won't talk about that, because he will fix it.

0:55:370:55:40

You kind of forgive him a lot of sins when you see his face

0:55:400:55:43

when she walked up the aisle, you could not be angry with him.

0:55:430:55:46

He looked so happy and so proud, it was just

0:55:460:55:49

so lovely to be a part of it.

0:55:490:55:50

Ladies and gentlemen, raise your glasses to Victoria and Nick,

0:55:500:55:54

the bride and groom.

0:55:540:55:56

I think we have had a really fitting wedding for a princess,

0:55:560:55:59

and she really is now a true Royle!

0:55:590:56:02

Real credit to him, he's done a really good job. Thumbs up all round.

0:56:020:56:06

A massive round of applause for Mr and Mrs Royle on the dancefloor!

0:56:060:56:10

After everything Victoria has been through,

0:56:100:56:13

Nick's plan to put a smile on her face has well and truly worked.

0:56:130:56:19

If I'd have done this wedding, I'd have made it more serious.

0:56:190:56:22

You've done what I always say to you, you found the fun in it.

0:56:220:56:26

And I love you for that. You've made me feel like a princess today.

0:56:260:56:29

SINGING ALONG TO MUSIC

0:56:290:56:33

Love you guys!

0:56:370:56:39

I've wanted this, like, forever.

0:56:390:56:42

And I've got everything I wanted today. I can't thank you enough.

0:56:420:56:46

Don't cry!

0:56:460:56:48

-The Royal Wedding wasn't as good as this, was it?

-No. Definitely.

0:56:510:56:55

How about if it was sort of nationality themed?

0:56:550:56:59

Now that's taking it... I'm a bit worried now!

0:56:590:57:02

Trying to think, what countries have blue?

0:57:020:57:05

Scotland?

0:57:050:57:06

No.

0:57:170:57:19

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