Ben and Sarah Don't Tell the Bride

-Don't Tell The Bride celebrates weddings like no-one else...

-Congratulations on your big day.

From New York to Glasgow...

BOTH: Oh, my God.

-Yes!

-..Las Vegas...

-Why would the man I love do this?

..To Ibiza...

-I can't even plan a wedding for her.

-..And one unforgettable rollercoaster ride.

Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?

And now we're back, as 12 more unsuspecting brides

-prepare for the journey of a lifetime.

-What?

The grooms get three weeks and £12,000.

-Wedding!

-Wedding!

-And the brides get no say in how it's spent.

-I'd never even imagine Ben could get it this wrong.

-So, get ready to rock.

-I don't even WANT you at me wedding.

As the party reaches new heights,

and sinks to new lows.

With more fairytale endings than ever before.

This is supposed to be the biggest day of my life and I'm not happy.

I-I-I... Switch off.

Tonight, Welsh groom Ben...

She's got a nice rack.

-You mean she's got nice boobs?

-Yes.

..Is arranging the wedding for his Valley girl, Sarah.

That's lush. Oh, that's lush.

That's lush, isn't it?

-Controlled by his bride-to-be...

-Ben? Are you coming? Have you tidied down there?

-..A mum who won't let him grow up...

-Beers?

-No.

-It's too early, you're not drinking.

-..This is his chance to break away...

and plan the wedding HE wants.

I don't care what people expect, I'm happy if the flowers aren't amazing.

But with a bride with one big fear...

I'm going to look fat in it, Han - honestly.

..And a groom with more than just his bride on his mind...

My dad said his goodbyes here.

..Against a mum who argues every decision.

This is what I want you to do.

I don't want you ringing me, "Ben, have you done this? Have you done that?

Can this henpecked groom...

I'm going to have a nervous breakdown now.

..Show these women...

I'd never imagine how Ben could get it this wrong.

..That he can be the man all by himself.

Wow, that is booby, isn't it? That's lovely.

I didn't want to look fat on my wedding day. I just think I'm going to look fat in it.

This programme contains some strong language

Deep in the heart of the Welsh Valleys is the small town of Caerphilly,

just 20 miles from the much-loved Barry Island, where Gavin met Stacey.

It's also where 30-year-old Ben met his 26-year-old fiancee, Sarah.

The first thing that drew me to Sarah was that she was

so beautiful and cheeky with it, a cheeky little attitude.

Quite sassy, like. Like a little Valley Princess.

He was exactly my type - muscley and good-looking.

Lush eyes, lush smile. He is lush!

So, all in all, lush.

-Lush!

-Lush!

-Lush!

Born and bred just five miles apart,

these Welsh lovebirds are a match made in heaven.

I knew from very early on that I think I loved you.

We just knew, we just went, "Yeah, this is right." Then it was full steam ahead.

-In two years...

-It's mad.

-It's meet, get engaged, move in, get married.

Sarah works in a call centre in Cardiff while Ben works

in a manly garage, where he does the not-quite-so-manly admin.

And when Ben isn't being less-than-manly at work,

he continues the trend by being less-than-manly at home.

-Ben?

-What?

-Are you coming?

I need you to do my tan for me and I need to do yours - you're looking pale.

We get up together at the same time, we get ready together.

You'll go to work, I'll go to work. Then we'll go to the gym.

You do my tan, I'll do yours.

I'll blow dry her hair, she'll shave my back, I'll shave her legs.

-It's good.

-Yep, these two share everything.

Except the trousers, because in this relationship,

-there's only one person wearing them.

-Sarah wears the trousers.

Three belts. Ain't never coming off.

I wouldn't say I was bossy, I just like things done in a certain way.

And for Sarah, a certain way means Ben doing everything -

from ironing her clothes and tending to her every need to being her own personal beautician.

I think I had my spine removed at day three.

It's kept in a little box.

-I give it back to you sometimes.

-Now and again, I'm allowed it back.

I think he's wrapped around my little finger. He always will be.

-That's just how it is.

-Sarah even takes control of his cash.

When Ben's been a good boy, he's allowed his weekly pocket money.

My wages go into her account. I've got an account, but no money.

I give you money. Whatever you want, reasonable amount.

-I may as well have "thumb" tattooed there...

-That'd be nice.

And appropriate,

because Sarah isn't the only strong Welsh woman telling Ben what to do.

Ben, you eat something proper first THEN you get into the dessert.

Just around the corner is his mum, Helena, who controls his every move.

She's the most controlling of all women I've ever met in my life...

ever met in my life.

I've tried doing the whole, "Mum, listen to me," thing, "I'm in charge," but it doesn't work.

In fact, since his dad passed away five years ago,

Ben has been surrounded and outnumbered by controlling women.

Alongside his mum and Sarah are mother-in-law-to-be Cheryl

and his three sisters.

I've got to sit there with six women going, "Oh, my God."

If I've had two beers and I have another one, one of them will say something like,

"Come on, now - you've had two."

I'm 30, man. 30!

When my dad was around, it was different.

He knew how to control Mum and all the women. He was really, like...

"Shh, quiet. Listen to me, shush up." Not like me.

I get stressed out or wound up by them.

"Ben's been doing this, Ben's been doing that. I wish Ben was doing this."

They all like to have a little finger in the pie that is my life.

The pie would burn if we weren't there.

It's time for Ben to prove himself to the dominating women around him.

It's time to man up and plan a wedding.

If I can do this right,

they'll give me the respect that I should have earned years ago.

I want people to think, "Yes, Ben is his dad's son."

To achieve his goal,

Ben has to impress one very important Valley girl.

-That's a nice one.

-And this lush bride has high expectations.

Look how lush that is.

Sarah hopes to get married abroad, just like her brother.

It's lovely, all the tans, it's nice.

-Yes, it wasn't a fake tan, it was the actual tan!

-That's what I mean.

My dream wedding would be Spain or Mexico or just somewhere nice and hot.

Somewhere pretty, but classy - that would be lush.

But Ben has no intention of obeying.

And he's definitely not planning to go very far.

We live in Caerphilly, pretty much the best town in South Wales.

We've got the biggest castle you've ever seen.

For the first time ever, the boys are going to be in control.

It will be quite nice to be given that freedom.

So by loosening the reins for once,

Sarah knows she is taking a huge risk.

He's never had this much responsibility in his whole life.

I don't know how the hell he's going to manage to do all this.

Oh, my God, Ben.

-Are you worried?

-Yeah, obviously,

I'm petrified, Ben!

-And they both know there's a lot at stake.

-It is a massive thing for me, this.

Prove to my new wife that...

I can be the man.

He knows in the back of his head, if he messes this up, that's it.

-There's no other chances.

-If I messed something as big as this up...

I will run down the aisle and punch you in the face.

It's time for the couple to say goodbye.

The next time they see each other will be at the wedding.

And Sarah wants to make sure she has everything she needs.

-It's three weeks!

-Half of Curry's in here.

-Think you've got enough?

-Yeah.

(Be fine, Ben.)

-(Just don't like it.)

-No.

You're shaking.

It's the first time Ben and Sarah have ever been apart.

-See you in three weeks, OK?

-Don't say that.

-I love you.

-I love you.

For the next three weeks, Sarah will be moving back in with her mum.

Really, really don't want to mess it up.

And like now, this is really, really real, man. So real.

It's been like, what? 30 seconds? I already don't know what to do.

My house is empty. I don't know what to do.

It's horrible. I'm going to really, really miss him.

I just hope he does everything the way I want it.

I hope this is worth it.

-It'd better be.

-Time to do it, isn't it?

I'll be all right. It'll be good. Be good.

Just got to...

make a wedding now, haven't I?

To help Ben man up and plan the wedding is his best man Mike,

who is also his boss at the garage.

Luckily, he lives just next door.

She's gone, time to start planning the wedding, boy.

We're not planning no wedding till you get in here.

I'll be round now, give me a second, boys.

-You bastard!

-Joining Mike and Ben in the hot tub is chief usher Mark.

-Let's plan this wedding, boys.

-Wedding!

-Wedding!

-Happy days. Let's sort this wedding out, boys.

-Wedding.

-Wedding.

THEY WHOOP

It's day one of wedding planning for henpecked Ben

and with freshly pruned skin from the hot tub, he's ready to get started.

-First on the list...

-What's happening?

-Venue day!

-Let's plan this place.

I need to get this venue today. It needs to be the right one.

I have a clear vision in my head of what I want to do. A clear vision.

Everything. Everything starts today.

Ben knows what he wants, but Sarah is struggling to let go.

Even at work,

with bridesmaid Hannah, she's planning her perfect day.

-That's stunning.

-That's lush. Look at that.

That'd be nice, something like that to get married in. On the beach.

-Down Barry Island!

-No, I don't want to go down Barry Island!

Her ideal wedding is far from Wales and definitely far from traditional.

-I hope it isn't in a stupid church.

-I know.

I will be fuming if he does that.

Absolutely fuming. Can you imagine? We won't go if it's in a church.

And first stop for the boys is Ben's local parish church.

Good day for it, mate. Good day for a church.

What about Sarah, does she like churches?

Sarah's view is that a church is for a funeral and they smell funny

and the wooden seats hurt her bum.

She don't like churches.

But Sarah is not here and Ben can do what he wants.

-And he wants this church.

-Wow!

-What do you think?

But he does have his reasons.

I think as a venue, this has the ultimate meaning for me.

My dad said his goodbyes here and in a way, for me,

this is sort of a way of having my dad here without having my dad here.

Usually dominated by overbearing women, Ben is taking

the opportunity to salute the man he knew could control them.

My dad is pretty much my hero.

He died about five years ago, he had cancer.

He was such a strong man his whole life and he was a man's man,

you know?

I may not have told him enough, but he was.

He was the rock in our house.

He was a musician and played guitar.

He was a high-grade nurse his entire life, always had something to give.

-I'd love to be like my dad.

-Morning.

-Morning.

-How you doing?

-I'm fine. Very nervous.

-While Ben is booking the church in honour of his dad...

-15th?

-15th.

-June, then.

-Yes, please.

-..Sarah is still dreaming of a wedding abroad.

Oh, that's lush.

Bridesmaid Hannah has brought her to a beachside location.

It may be nearer to Swansea than Marbella,

but for Sarah, it's the gateway to the wedding she's always dreamt of.

Wow, that's stunning. That looks like actually abroad.

-That's lush.

-Oh, yeah!

-Oh, that's lush.

-That's lush, isn't it? Look how cute they are.

-I know.

They are lush, aren't they?

It may be lush, but for Sarah, it's just not lush enough.

My style would be like this,

but I'd do something a little bit different with the chairs.

-Put bows or something on them.

-Mm, bows - lush.

-A bit girlier.

It's not very girly, is it?

No.

-Well, it is girly, but it's not girly in the way that we are!

-Yeah!

Ben's choice for the reception does have daisy-covered lawns,

but it's not exactly girly.

Having booked the ceremony in a church,

his next target is the most manly building he could find.

Right in the middle of Caerphilly town centre.

If you're going to have a castle venue,

that's a serious bit of Castle!

It may be the symbol of a famous Welsh cheddar,

but let's hope Sarah doesn't think it stinks.

We've both grown up in Caerphilly. We both know the castle.

It's something from all of our childhoods. It just feels...

like the perfect venue.

Receptions at this formidable fortress take place

in the Great Hall, where real men once ruled.

-Following in the footsteps of kings, here. Edward II...

-Look and learn, Ben.

-It's huge!

At the top table there, like it is now, and you've got all those

-shields in the background as well.

-It'll look amazing.

You don't really need to decorate it that much, do you? Look at it.

-For the steward for the bar and this venue, it's 1,500 quid.

-Yeah.

So obviously I can work caterers on top...

Guests will expect a formal meal during the day...

I don't care what people expect. I'm happy if the flowers aren't amazing.

-I'm happy if the food isn't amazing.

-It's all down...

-Yes, to me.

So that's £1,500 for a stone-walled room that's graced kings,

queens and now, an under-the-thumb Welshman who's gone on a wedding planning rampage. Tidy!

I don't know how you can't come into somewhere like this

and not think it's a dream.

It's the biggest castle in Wales,

you walk up and you've got a big massive bridge over a moat,

beautiful grounds, geese and swans everywhere.

Some people buy or rent them for the wedding, to have swans. These live in there.

Don't believe it. It's such a good day.

MUSIC: "Whistle" by Flo Rida

# Can you blow my whistle, baby

# Whistle, baby Let me know

# Girl, I'm going to show you how to do it

# And we'll start real slow

# You just put your lips together and you come real close

# Can you blow my whistle, baby Whistle, baby

# Here we go! #

After just three days,

Ben has already spent half of his budget - on his local parish church,

the ruins of a medieval castle right in the middle of town

and with food and drink taken care of for 100 people, it's full steam ahead.

It may not be Sarah's cup of tea, but hey - it's his wedding!

-Do you want omelette?

-Yeah, I'll have an omelette.

-Yeah? I'll get the eggs.

-Ham, have you got ham?

-Yes.

-And cheese?

-Yes.

Must be strange, cos you don't know nothing, so you don't know where anything is...

And other people do, as well. You can tell.

In work today, they were all whispering about stuff,

they wouldn't tell me. I thought, "Mm, they might know."

-That's awkward, then.

-I could just be paranoid as well.

-Don't want any sauce do you, at all?

-No.

He'll be all right. When it's all sorted, you'll be fine.

While Sarah has her mum to fall back on,

Ben's struggling to even get a drink off his.

-Coke.

-Beers?

-No. It's too early, you're not drinking.

-Are you able to tell me anything?

-No.

-Oh.

It's like waiting for a baby, this. It's doing my head in.

Determined to stop Mum from interfering in the wedding, Ben's come up with a cunning plan.

If she could be involved in every aspect of this wedding,

she would be involved in every aspect of this wedding.

So I'll give her a little something to do, something she can put her hands on.

I just hope it works.

I want you to...make the cake.

-OK.

-What I want is like, three tiers.

-Yeah.

-On there, have roses...

Like a cabbage rose? A beautiful, pink one with bits of green in?

No, no bits of green. I don't want bits of green in there.

No bits of green or cabbages.

-I don't want cabbage on a wedding cake.

-Cabbage ROSES.

-What the hell is a cabbage rose?

-Oh, go to a florists.

-It needs to be tall.

-I know it needs to be tall, Benjamin.

If they come out flat, make them three layers.

I know, Benjamin - I know exactly what I'm doing.

I've been making cakes since you were tiny.

-You just told me you'd practise it with a tin!

-With my new ones!

Oh, keep a lid on!

-And everything else?

-I'll take care of everything else.

-You just need to let me do it.

-Yes. That's fine.

This is what I want you to do.

I don't want you ringing me, saying, "Ben, have you done this?

"Ben, have you done that?" Unless it's about the cakes...

Yes, Ben is absolutely definitely in charge of this whole wedding.

Just as long as his mum says so.

I don't feel a bit in control when it comes to my mum.

My main thing that stresses me out so much is that I'm really worried

she's going to change the cake and not tell me.

It will turn up on the day and be not what I asked for.

That will really let me down,

because I just want her, for once, just to...

Just to do exactly what I ask.

For once, know that she's not the boss, I'm the boss.

Keeping his mum under control has turned Ben's thoughts

to his dad, who passed away five years ago.

And he has one very important part of his wedding plans

yet to complete.

-I want to get, um...my sleeve finished.

-What did you want on it?

-"My father, my hero, I miss you."

-What we discussed before.

-Yes.

For the last two years,

Ben has been working on a tribute tattoo for his dad.

He wants to complete it before the wedding.

Is just another way of my father being close to me on my day.

It's a way of him being there, without being there.

A really painful way of him being there, but it's a way.

-NEEDLE BUZZES

-I hate tattoos, man - I hate it. Oh!

-Ready?

No, but hey, that's the way it goes, isn't it, kid?

Arghh!

I think maybe deep down as well, this is a way of maybe saying sorry.

Sometimes I could have been a bit of a problem child.

From the age of about...12 to about 28, just a bit of a pain in the ass.

And he'd try and give you advice, you tend not to listen sometimes, you think you know better.

But then you think, "Well, don't worry about it, it doesn't really matter,

"I've got next week, it'll be fine."

The next thing you know, he's not there.

Just... Makes you think, I wish I hadn't been like that.

That's going to be on my arm for ever.

Ever and ever and ever.

That's what you want for your marriage, isn't it?

It's the beginning of week two and Ben is about to make

the biggest decision of his life without any female help.

Absolutely crapping my pants.

For a woman, it's all about the dress, isn't it?

All about the dress. If I get that dress wrong, I am...knackered.

Meanwhile, Sarah is armed with lots of girly support,

taking her mum and bridesmaid Hannah to see the dress SHE'D CHOOSE

for her dream beachside wedding.

-What sort of thing are you after?

-I want like, an A-line one.

-Yes.

Like, I don't want a sweetheart... I just want it straight. Quite tight.

But not tight on my bum.

Do you want to have a little look around? Yes?

I think with me, I'm not comfortable with my figure.

I never have been.

I got really large hips and with a dress, it needs to be A-line

so you don't look fat in it. I don't want to feel fat and I think a plain dress just suits me better.

It just looks nicer on me.

-Do you like that, Mum?

-The bashful bride hopes for a sophisticated dress

that won't flaunt her body.

Luckily, a man who spends his life surrounded by women should understand that perfectly.

She's got a cracking chest!

Curvy little hips, a little waist.

Lovely boobs. She's stunning.

Beautiful figure and I just think she wants to hide it away -

I don't see why she'd want to hide it away.

She looks sexy, so why can't she look sexy on her wedding day?

-Hi, there. How can we help you today?

-I need a dress, please.

-What sort of style are you looking for?

-Like, poofy at the bottom, netty.

-Poofy!

-Poofy!

-It's my word for it - poofy!

-A princess dress, is it? OK.

Across town, the girls are thinking less poofy princess

and more Ibiza chic.

-It's a little tight.

-But even picking her own dress...

-No, I don't like that.

-..is proving difficult for self-conscious Sarah.

No, I don't like that. Look at the bum in the back. It's too curvy.

Luckily, Sarah won't have to worry about her bum looking big.

Not when Ben has one or two other things on his mind.

Wow, that is booby, isn't it? That's lovely.

I'm not sure about these little... flaps. They're like air vents.

-It's definitely booby enough, isn't it?

-She has the figure, yes!

-It's definitely...got enough of that.

-Sweetheart neckline, they call it.

I'm trying not to look at it!

LAUGHTER Can't help it, can you!

Hang on, so we've got the booby, we've got the lace,

-but we don't like the...?

-HE WHISTLES

-OK.

-Onto the next one.

-Oh, it's lush.

-What are you missing?

But while Ben cops an eyeful of heaving necklines,

Sarah is trying on her very demure dream dress.

-Oh, you look lovely.

-That's really nice.

-That's lush, isn't it?

-Really nice.

-I feel small in it. It's floaty as well, and comfy.

-You look nice in that.

-I love this one. It's just pretty and just...

-It's lovely.

-I don't feel fat in it at all.

-I think this is the one. Do you?

-Definitely.

-Yes, definitely.

-None of my boobs are out now at all. Classy, for once!

-I know!

-Thank you.

-Oh!

-Oh, look at that!

That's lush, isn't it? Scary now though, isn't it?

-Imagine if he gets it wrong.

-Yes, I can't wait.

-I'll have a bitch fit.

-You will, won't you?

-Mm.

While Sarah's found a classy dress she'd like to take the plunge in...

Ben's found a saucy little number he'd like to take a plunge AT...

Grrrrr!

Come closer.

Can you turn around for me, as well? Oh, look at the back.

-Yes, I like that.

-Beautiful.

-Can I see it... With a crown on, as well?

-Is that what it's called?

-Crown?!

-Tiara?

-Tiara!

Oh, looks the business, doesn't it? Yes, pop it over her head.

That's amazing. I'm a bit bricking it now, though.

Next time I'm stood next to this, it will be Sarah in it

and I'll be doing the whole, "I do."

-Is done, is it?

-Done.

While Sarah wanted a classy A-line floaty dress to suit her beach wedding,

Ben has opted for a princess meringue,

deep-set sweetheart neckline, with 18 layers of puffiness.

And at a cost of £1,000, Ben's in boob heaven!

It is a bit cross-my-fingers and-hope, now, isn't it? That's it.

I've either dropped the ball or put it in the back of the net, now.

That's it. I'm going one of two ways now. One of two ways.

I know if I've got the dress right, 100% right, that dress,

I know she'll forgive the church, if that dress is spot-on.

So basically, everything I've done up till now relies on that dress being bang-on.

It's the first time I've said that in my head, actually. Bit nerve-racking.

After ten days of freedom, Ben's wedding is quickly coming together.

He spends another two grand on a photographer and flowers.

That's coral, that's pink. That's going to be on the cake.

You do know that those colours clash?

The reins are truly off and speaking of which,

it's time to book the bride's transport.

That's amazing.

And at a cost of £950 for a horse and carriage,

Ben has spent nearly ten grand of his budget.

Ben, will you marry me? Oh!

Next, Ben is taking his mum - and cake maker - to a cake shop

to explain what he wants and to show her who's boss.

-Hiya.

-How are you going to do it? Like that?

-You wanted them...

I wanted them originally on top of each other, like that,

but once the icing is on, it'll be heavy, won't it?

I'd do a ten, eight, six and four.

-It's lovely, that is.

-Perhaps a few petals?

-I don't want petals.

-You don't want petals?

-I don't want any petals on it.

-But see how here, there's a little tiny leaf...

-No, no leaves.

No? Plain, naked. Right. OK. You said you wanted leaves.

No, I don't want leaves on it. I said I don't want leaves.

-No leaves.

-Right.

It's hard trying to get what I want.

I knew for a fact she'd be like, "Ben, I'm doing this, shut up."

The point is, it's my cake, so, it's going to be no leaves,

roses on the top, coming down the side.

You have to do as you're told.

-For once.

-For once? I always do as I'm told.

-You don't.

-I'm surprised you've gone for that red, though.

-Yes.

Well, it's not your cake, so we're going to go for the one I like.

Don't alter anything without speaking to me first.

-I want to know what it looks like.

-Shh.

-Don't shush me, it's my cake.

Thank you. THANK YOU!

-Bye.

-Bye, thank you.

I need to know how it looks, so if it's going to change, I need to know.

-# Mamma Mia, Mamma Mia

-Mamma Mia let me go... #

I'm not changing anything, all right? Stop panicking, dear.

Back at home, mum is starting to come to terms with who's actually planning this wedding.

He's very in control.

And that is odd, because normally...

I'm in control. It's an unusual feeling.

I think he's desperately trying to...

..prove himself

as...grown-up and doing all right.

In my head, he's my baby boy

and he needs me to look after him.

It's the end of week two and time for the hen and stag.

Best man Mike has been sent round to tell the girls the good news.

What's up, my lovely? Right, then - tomorrow.

Yourself plus five friends, all here for nine o'clock in the morning.

In old clothes.

-Something you can get dirty.

-What kind of shoes?

-Trainers.

-Something you can run in as well, OK?

-Trainers? We don't own trainers!

Something you can get dirty. That's all you need to know.

-Have fun, girls.

-I don't know what to wear now, Han.

-I'll have to wear my Uggs.

-I'll wear my Uggs, black leggings.

What are you going to do with your hair, then? Put a shower cap on it!

Oh, Sar...

The next morning, deep in the Welsh countryside, Ben has come up

with an idea he hopes will give him an early victory in the wedding.

What better way to assert his new-found supremacy

and show the girls who is boss than a battle-of-the-sexes laser war game?

At the end of the day, we're boys and they're girls.

Three of us have been in the Army, so if we lose to them,

it's pathetic.

I can't believe he's brought me somewhere like this.

This isn't something I'd particularly do!

I feel like I'm being strapped to an electric chair, that's how I feel.

Load up, it's the stag do versus the hen do. It's a STEN do.

And with pink wellies all round,

it's a bit like leading Welsh lambs to the slaughter.

Sorry, girls!

There's a guy over there, there's a guy over there!

Oh, I got shot!

-I shot one of them. I think it's Mark.

-Did you?

-Yeah.

I don't know the difference between Mark, Mike and Ben.

But knowing that Ben is trying to assert his control,

Sarah decides to get serious.

GUN COCKS Yep.

And not long after, the best man is down.

We shot the best man on the floor, which was quite funny.

Very dramatic. And we were like, "Ha-ha-ha-ha!"

Even the groom can't escape the wrath of these pink commandos.

You bastards.

It's me bitch!

But after two hours of fighting it out,

the boys assert their dominance and victory is secured.

# We are the champions We are the champions... #

I wanted to go over there, because I saw her, so instead I shot her.

Good job. That's the way.

That was just so weird, him being so close to me

and, like, we can't kiss, we can't touch, we can't say anything.

It's just weird, but, to be honest,

he did a good job, because I didn't think I'd enjoy it.

For once, Ben's outgunned the girls,

but on the wedding day there'll be no masks to hide behind

and no backup from the boys.

Hiding in the woods could be his best option.

It's the beginning of the third week and his next task is no game.

Still refusing to be ordered around,

Ben is choosing the bridesmaids' dresses without any bridesmaids present.

If they were here I'd be stressing out because they'd be wanting to...

They'd be all over it, "I'm not wearing that, I'm not wearing this.

"It doesn't go with my shape." I like that.

If they put them on, I like them, they're having them. Simple as that.

It's time for a bit of authority from me.

But Ben knows these girls are no pushover

so he's holding the fashion show on his turf -

the garage where he works.

Ha! This is going to be fun.

Chief bridesmaid Hannah has been joined by Ben's sister, Emily,

and Sarah's friend, Anneka.

-I feel a bit sick.

-Yeah. I was expecting to be shopping today.

I thought we could pressurise him. Strength in numbers. Unite together.

Bully him into the ones we wanted. That's not going to happen.

-Ben?

-Yeah, in here.

-Hello?

-I've got nice dresses. I spent money.

-They're short!

-They're not that short.

-They're short!

-Right, try 'em on. Just try 'em on. You've all got one.

-Oh, my God.

-Sarah is not going to be happy with this. She wanted long dresses.

-Yeah.

-Ooh, God.

-These are not bridesmaid dresses.

These are something you would maybe pick

if you're about 70 for a wedding.

-"If you're about 70?!"

-I just don't like it.

-Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

-Michael.

-What are you? The Apprentice?

-Yeah.

-Turn around.

-No.

Turn around, Anneka. Anneka, turn around.

They're very see-through. Look, you can see everything through them.

THEY LAUGH He knows it!

-They are totally see-through!

-They are totally see-through,

and with a camera and a flash it's going to be even more see-through.

-They are completely see-through.

-You can't have these, Ben.

No, you're right. Yeah, we... No.

-Take them off and put them back in the bag.

-Yay! I love you, Ben.

Whoops. Yeah, I think we're going back to town.

He should have known, "They won't wear that.

"There's no way they'll put it on."

We'll put it on but we wouldn't wear it.

Now we can go with him, we can boss and bully him into what we want.

Oh, my God. You could see the cars behind through the dress.

And the proper show every outline of their knickers and everything, didn't they?

Wah!

Yeah, back to town then.

Unlike the bride, the girls now get to pick the dresses they want.

Ben is desperately trying to keep control of the wedding,

but when it comes to his own pocket money

he still needs to run things by Sarah.

She gave him £100 to buy essentials,

but having spent it all, it's time for a grovelling phone call.

I've only got 63p left. I'm going to have to give Hannah a call and say,

"Can I have some money, please?"

-Hello?

-Hiya, are you all right?

-Yeah. Are you?

-Tired. Stressed.

We're not tired or stressed. We're fine.

With no control over her wedding,

Sarah prompts Hannah to ask some very important questions.

-You have been eating properly?

-I have been eating properly, yes.

Have you been brushing your teeth in the mornings?

I have been brushing my teeth in the mornings as well, yes.

-That's good.

-Yeah, I'm getting paid tomorrow.

My money's going into Sarah's bank so obviously I need to arrange to get some money.

-Tell him how much money does he want?

-How much do you want?

-50 quid.

-£50.

-No. He's not having £50 for food for the week.

-"No way," she said.

-Not a chance.

-Well, why ask how much I want...

Don't start having a go at me, Ben.

Tell him he's not having 50 quid for food for the week.

-Can he have 30 then?

-Yeah, he can have 30.

-But not 50 quid for one week.

-Tell her 30 quid's fine.

-Tell him I know.

-Yeah, we know.

-"Yeah, I know." Is that what she said?

She's got her rent to pay. Bills to pay, Ben. Bills come first.

-"Bills to pay." She's hard work even when the phone's not there.

-You're hard work.

Big news(!)

All right, have a nice time. Don't mess anything up, OK?

-OK, bye.

-Bye.

-Do you think I'm mean not giving him 50 quid?

-No.

It is a lot, though, 50 quid.

No, it is. 50 quid for one person, are you kidding me?

-Mike!

-Yeah.

-Come here, I've got order numbers for Mac.

-Aye, Ben.

After the phone call with Sarah,

Ben knows that he must get the wedding on budget.

He's really stressed this morning.

Deep down he is panicking his arse right off.

He's proving a point to his future wife that he's got to be trusted with money

and I think this is a big step for him.

If he does right with this money and does everything the way he wants it

and the way he's going to make her happy, it means a lot.

Maybe she'll start trusting him with a bank card.

-Come on then, Benjamin.

-THEY LAUGH

Bugger off, now, big boy.

With access to his own personal bank account on the line,

and having spent nearly 11 grand, Ben needs to make some drastic cuts.

First for the chop, the boys' suits.

I originally budgeted seven suits, 100 quid each, 700 quid.

If I can rent them all for cheaper then I'll rent them all for cheaper.

Not even Sarah is spared in Ben's austerity plan.

40 quid is the max that I can afford to spend on shoes.

They're 55 quid, they are. I was going to get her a wedding box with, like,

perfume and stuff like that in and I budgeted, like, 30 quid for that,

so if I don't buy that I can still get the shoes and save 15 quid.

Finally in his saving bonanza, Ben risks the wrath of the bridesmaids.

What I'm going to do, hon, is just don't worry about the bridesmaids' make-up and that saves me 120 quid.

£129. Get in.

But there are some things a real man can't sacrifice.

I obviously need to get it done Wednesday, don't I? So I don't look like a tangerine.

I don't want to look orange at all, just a really, really light one,

so I'm not stood there at the front next to a white wedding dress looking Day-glo orange.

Spray tan's booked in.

Out of £12,000 with four days to go, I have £16.

But everything is bought.

He may have come in on budget,

but the jury's still out on whether he's spent it wisely.

It's the day before the wedding and time for Sarah to see the all-important dress.

Dreading it. Absolutely dreading it. I feel sick.

I just don't want to look fat on my wedding day. If I look fat, I ain't wearing it.

So it better be friggin' decent. I'll kill him.

Approaching the shop that is known locally to specialise

in big princess dresses, Sarah's nerves give in.

SHE SOBS

Oh, come on.

-You haven't seen it yet. Come on.

-You all right?

-I'm just so nervous.

-You haven't seen it yet, have you?

Well, you need to see at first and then you can decide

cos there's no point in deciding now cos you haven't even seen it. You're just looking at a window.

I just can't imagine it being nice. I don't like this shop.

I've seen it from outside - there's always big dresses and stuff.

We'll just go in and have a look, all right? Just check it out.

You just need to see the dress first.

-So if you want to take a seat here and I'll go and get it.

-OK.

All right, thanks.

Just wait now.

Just wait, Sarah. Don't panic. Don't panic, now.

Ben's choice of dress so big it comes in two parts.

Why the hell have I got two?

-It's two bags because it's so big. That's why it's two bags.

-My God.

Oh, she's going to go mental.

I don't like it.

Do you want to try it on and just see what it's like on?

It's awful. It's puffy.

Go and have a look at it. It's horrendous. I'm not wearing it.

It's disgusting. It's massive. I'm going to look like a fat bitch in it.

Right, OK.

It's up to Mum and Hannah to convince Sarah try the dress on.

-I know it's not what you want...

-I'm going to look fat in it, Han.

Sarah, just try it.

Just try it, OK.

What's that?

It's not another dress so don't panic.

Oh, my God.

-Sarah, just try it, all right?

-I'll try it on,

but I'm not going to wear it because I'm not going to like it.

Just try it. It might be different. You don't know that, do you?

She's not happy at all, is she?

I know that a big dress just makes you look bigger than you are.

And that's what I said all along -

I didn't want to look fat on my wedding day and I just think I'm going to look fat in it.

And if I look fat in it, I'm not wearing it.

Just devastated for her, really, cos it's completely not what she wants.

It's a meringue and she wants a straight A-line dress, so it's the complete opposite.

It's not even a little bit puffy, is it? It's, like, out.

We'll just try and make her like it.

Getting Sarah to try the dress on is one thing,

but convincing her to walk down the aisle in it might be another matter.

-Do I look fat?

-No.

I just feel like I'm massive.

-The dress is big, you're not.

-It's lovely.

-He's got you some accessories as well, OK?

-Oh, God. Here we go.

-He's got you a veil.

-Oh...

I'm sure he's done this to wind me up.

That's lovely.

He's got a tiara as well.

-< Sarah, it's lovely.

-(He's got a tiara, Mum.)

It's lovely. Honestly.

-That looks lovely on.

-You look about a size two.

-That's beautiful.

-You look tiny.

-And the veil's pretty. It's dainty.

And it's not that low.

I know it's not what you want and it's nowhere near what you want.

Really(?) I would never even imagine Ben could get it this wrong.

I would never wear a veil, he knows I don't like tiaras.

I've said before, "I don't like tiaras." He knows that -

why have I got a tiara on my head?

These are the shoes that he's got you. OK?

They're absolutely disgusting.

-I don't like them.

-They're pointy.

Well, just try them, Sarah.

He's a fucking drip.

-Pointy shoes?

-They're horrible.

-Just try them on.

-That's something my mother would have on. No offence, Mam.

-They're horrid.

You don't look massive. You look tiny, you really do.

I wouldn't lie to you. You have to like it anyway, so you haven't got choice.

Now that Sarah is dressed head-to-toe in Ben's vision,

she can finally see it for herself in all its glory.

-Aw...

-See?

Don't start crying. You'll have mascara down it.

-I don't look fat.

-No, it looks lovely.

It is big though, isn't it?

-It is big.

-It's lovely.

-It's really pretty, Sarah.

-I don't hate it.

-He's done a good job.

-You look confused.

At least he's got the dress right,

but he hasn't got what I wanted, so he still got it wrong in a way.

-THEY LAUGH

-As long as you're right it's OK.

As long as I'm right. That's the main thing.

I don't think he would have picked a church wedding in this type of dress because it's a bit...

I know it's not revealing, but when he saw it

he probably thought the boobs would be hanging out of there. "Have a look at that," like.

He might have just got away with the dress,

but Ben is more concerned about how Sarah may react to the church.

So to add a feminine touch, he spent his last few pounds on some plastic flowers.

It's all about making that church pretty.

It's all about, just, sort of, forgetting where she is

and thinking, "God, look at it. It doesn't look like a church."

It needs to be pretty. It needs to be girly.

And these are about as girly as fake roses get really, aren't they?

What I'm doing now has to be enough.

Am I worried that it's not going to be? Yeah. Of course I am.

Cos I know how much she doesn't like churches.

So I've just got to keep making rose petals

and hope for the best.

And speaking of making things pretty and girly,

there's still time for the boys to get their spray tans.

I'm not going to kiss your nipples!

It's the morning of the wedding

and the girl who dreamt of getting married abroad in a floaty dress

on a sunny beach is three hours away from a church wedding in Wales.

And the rain is looming.

Oh, my God. So stressed now. So nervous.

That's tight enough, mate, isn't it?

-How are you feeling, Ben?

-Oh, I'm nervous now.

You look swag, mate.

-Made it.

-You've done it.

-Right.

Wearing the dress that came in two bags,

Sarah is ready to see what else Ben has in store.

But first, she needs to get out of her front door.

Argh, I can't get out!

I don't think I can. Oh, Lord.

We'll just have to try and keep it up.

Right, how the fuck are we going to get through here?

Someone get me an umbrella.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my good God.

Fucking hell! He's big, isn't he?

It's slimming!

Look at that!

EXCITED CHATTER

Oh, my friggin' lord. Do you think I'll get in?

Oh, it stinks.

SHE SCREAMS

LAUGHTER

-He is such a dick!

-I know!

OK. I'm nervous of horses. He's an idiot.

At the church, the guests are arriving.

Ben is feeling the full weight of his decisions.

Come on in.

Just down the road, Sarah is starting to realise

part of Ben's vision.

There's a church where we are now, right at the top of this street.

If we slow down in a minute, I know it's the church.

I hope it goes past.

Oh, I'm dying. I think I'm going to have a nervous breakdown now.

I genuinely am going to have a nervous breakdown.

Everything is stressing me out at the moment.

Absolutely everything.

I hate church weddings.

This is the way we're going, so I reckon he's got the church.

I never thought he'd get a church.

BELLS RINGING

Oh, my God. It's bells!

I hate wedding bells!

I feel sick.

I think his dad got buried in this church,

so I can't really say anything, can I?

It's a massive thing and he will know that.

As the plastic rose petals take their place in the church,

the only thing Ben can do is hope and wait.

My God, it looks stunning.

Oh, it looks beautiful.

Oh, I don't know.

All right. Dad, are you on the right side?

Yes. I'm on the opposite side to you.

Benjamin.

-I missed you so much.

-I've been fucking dying.

I've been having heart attacks all morning. You have no idea.

-Are you OK?

-Yes. I'm all right now you're here.

Sarah and Benjamin

have a great love for one another.

I know Benjamin has chosen this church

because it is very special to him and his family,

because of his late dad.

Benjamin and Sarah, will you now join hands

and make your vows in the presence of God and his people.

-I, Benjamin Alec.

-I, Benjamin Alec.

-Take you, Sarah Marie.

-Take you, Sarah Marie.

-To be my wife.

-To be my wife.

-In sickness and in health.

-In sickness and in health.

-As long as we both shall live.

-As long as we both shall live.

-I, Sarah Marie.

-Take you, Benjamin Alec.

Take you, Benjamin Alec.

-To be my husband.

-To be my husband.

To love and to cherish as long as we both shall live.

Benjamin Alec and Sarah Marie,

I proclaim that they are husband and wife.

MUSIC: The Wedding March

APPLAUSE

Oh, don't everyone look lush?

Having got his bride up the aisle,

it seems like Ben is getting his way.

Sarah has married him in the venue he wanted,

wearing the dress that he liked.

I'm really impressed with my husband. He's done a good job.

Even though I don't like a church, it looks absolutely stunning inside.

-You did well.

-Yes, I knew I was going to have it here.

I just thought I would make it as nice as possible.

It was beautiful inside.

But it's not over yet.

-I'm going to have to help her in.

-Yes, you will.

SHE SCREAMS

LAUGHTER

I don't think it's big enough, Ben.

Yes, plenty big enough.

As the heavens open and her dreams of a sunny beach wedding

are well and truly washed away,

it's time for Sarah to see Ben's vision of a dream reception -

a castle in Caerphilly, in the rain.

-Oh, my word.

-Oh, it's bloody raining.

-Are you on the floor?

-Yeah.

-Oh, this is the worst weather in the world.

-Oh, my Lord.

Sarah may have accepted all of Ben's choices so far,

but will his attempt at a reception

be enough to brighten his bride's day?

Oh, my God. Ben!

What once was a room graced by kings

has been transformed into a room

fit for one very lush princess.

Oh, babe, it's absolutely stunning.

Better than that, it's lush.

-Do you like the cake? My mother made that.

-Shut up!

Yes, go and have a look at it.

-Oh, Ben! did she really make that herself?

-Yes, she made it herself.

-Shut up!

-Yes!

-Oh, that's stunning.

-How nice is that?

-That is lush.

-I designed it. I said this is what I want.

Quite simple, just white but with roses coming down.

That's absolutely stunning.

-It's good, isn't it?

-I love it. It's absolutely stunning.

Honest to God, you have made me so proud. This is amazing.

It's good, isn't it?

I couldn't have done this.

-I am so, so proud of you.

-Get in!

-VOICE BREAKING: Here we go. No, you've done amazing.

-You happy? yeah?

Really, really happy.

What's happening?

-My man!

-We did it, kid.

Good God!

Absolutely beautiful.

He's actually done it.

I'm really, really proud of him. He did well.

The boy did good, really good.

I'd like to raise a toast to the bride and groom.

Absolutely amazing.

I'm proud of him. He's managed to do something himself, which is good.

Absolutely great stuff. So yes, I am proud of him. Good lad.

She's going to have a lot more respect for him and trust him more.

I just want to say how beautiful my new wife looks.

CHEERING

It's been hard. Very, very hard for many reasons. But it was worth it,

because I can spend the rest of my life with her now.

APPLAUSE

I've got big thanks for a lot of people who helped along the way.

My best man, for making sure I didn't kill anyone.

The bridesmaids for not murdering me for the first dress I picked.

Not so much with the second dress. Thank you, guys. Thank you.

Thank you, baby.

He has done so well.

Sarah and I have looked after him

for a long time to help him out.

And do you know what? He has amazed me

with everything he has done. Everything.

The room, the church, because that's the last place he saw his dad...

Don't cry now, Mum.

I am so proud to welcome Sarah as...

VOICE BREAKING: ..Mrs Longville.

CHEERING

With the new Mrs Longville by his side,

Ben finally gets to be the head of the family.

At the beginning, it was six girls against me.

Me on one side, all them in the corner. Strong together.

But it's not like that any more.

It's the six girls and me as a family, working together as a unit.

It's made me feel a lot less threatened by them all.

A gaggle of women, attacking me.

-Oh, he's done well.

-He's done perfect.

I wouldn't let him plan my dinner, but he's done really well.

It's been brilliant, absolutely perfect. It's lovely here.

This whole three weeks was a way of proving

not just to my wife and all my family,

but my dad that I am not the person he saw before he died.

I am someone else.

Someone who can be trusted with big things and can be relied on.

And you've moved on beautifully. You've grown so much.

That was the last thing when Daddy was dying.

It was all about life is a gift and you have to live it.

He was really worried, because of the way I was at the time.

Worried about what was going to happen to me after he died.

But I think doing all this,

and having the wedding where it was, I think he would be proud.

He would be happy and say there was no need to worry.

He'd be twiddling his little beard.

Twiddling his bloody moustache!

He'd be going, "About time, boy! About time!"

Twiddling his moustache!

Ready?

Sorry, Mum!

CHEERING

He's my son and I just adore him,

absolutely adore him.

So the wedding has brought us together

and I would never give that away. That is something to cherish.

I think you helped so much over the past three weeks. It's been good.

It is. I can't wait now. Babies now!

It may have been more Ben's dream wedding than Sarah's,

but by calling all the shots,

Ben has shown them all that he can be the man.

Ben today has proper shocked me.

He's done absolutely amazing. He's made me so proud.

I'm going to look at him totally different.

I'm going to trust you more with money.

-I am still a bitch, but that's just me.

-That's just you, yeah!

You've done me proud.

-Yes.

-You really have.

-Ben, what are you doing?

-Checking your boobs.

-SARAH LAUGHS

-It's been a while since I've seen them!

'If I could sum up this day in one word,'

-it would be lush.

-Lush!

-Fucking lush!

-Not fucking, just lush.

Next time, Blackpool boy Mike...

Yee-haa! My ear just went!

..plans the wedding for his glamorous bride-to-be.

I'd want to feel like I was on the Titanic, first class.

With the groom totally out of touch with the modern world...

This internet's half decent, isn't it?

..and a bride dreaming of the high life...

Oh, my God!

..will it be the Hollywood wedding of her dreams?

Oh my God!

Or a B-movie disaster?

Switch it off.

MUSIC: Run by Stephen Fretwell

# Tell me tomorrow I'll wait by the window for you

# I'll wait by a big house for you

# I'll wait by the squeeze box for you

# I'll wait by your dresses for you. #