Mike and Katie Don't Tell the Bride

This programme contains some strong language.

-Don't Tell The Bride celebrates weddings like no-one else.

-'Congratulations on your big day.'

-From New York...

-Aagh!

-..to Glasgow...

-Oh, my God...

-..Las Vegas...

-Yes!

-SHE SOBS

-Why would the man I love do this?

..to Ibiza...

HE SOBS I can't even plan a wedding for her.

..and an unforgettable rollercoaster ride.

Why the hell are we at Thorpe Park on my wedding day?!

And now we're back, as 12 more unsuspecting brides prepare

-for the journey of a lifetime.

-What?

The grooms get three weeks and £12,000...

and the brides get no say in how it's spent.

I would never even imagine Ben could get it this wrong.

So, get ready to rock...

I don't even want you in the wedding!

..as the party reaches new heights and sinks to new lows...

HE LAUGHS

..with more fairy-tale endings than ever before.

This is supposed to be the biggest day of my life and I'm not happy.

Switch that off.

Tonight, Blackpool boy Mike...

My ear just went.

..plans the wedding of his glamorous bride-to-be.

My wedding has got to be, like, five star.

While Katie dreams of a Hollywood wedding...

I want to feel like I was on Titanic, first class.

-..Mike wants to stay closer to home.

-Let's get married at Blackpool Tower.

So, with the groom who just wants to have fun...

I want a bouncy castle, slide...

..and thinks organising a wedding is easy...

I've got three weeks to do it, I'll absolutely smash it.

What happens when reality hits...

-Did you pick the rings up?

-What?

-..and the pressure of wedding planning gets too much?

-Can you just give us a minute?

-Will this stressed-out groom...

-If this isn't sorted, I'm not getting married.

-..give this starry-eyed girl...

-I'm losing faith fast.

-..the wedding of her dreams?

-Switch it off.

-Oh, my God!

-What?!

Or will it end up a B-movie disaster?

It's just not working, this, for me. I can't handle it.

I actually can't handle it.

Seaside sweethearts Mike and Katie met seven years ago

under the bright lights of Blackpool,

and they've been hooked ever since.

We met when I was 16 and Mike was 20, weren't you?

-Pervert.

-Yeah.

-SHE LAUGHS

Got to get 'em while you're young and mould 'em.

No, I'm only messing!

They now live just ten minutes from the heart of Blackpool with their five-year-old son Jack.

We want to get married because I'm the odd one out,

I have the odd surname, so I really want to be part of the family unit more.

Just having the same name means so much, it really does.

Keen to make an honest woman of Katie,

Mike popped the question in his own no-frills style.

The proposal was a bit of a disaster. He came home,

dumped himself on a sofa next to me, threw this ring at me and says,

"Are you going to marry me then?"

Why would you go out of your way

and bungee-jump to you or something like that?

Because you have to tell everyone, "Oh, how did he propose?"

-On t'couch...just after an argument.

-Yeah, on the couch.

Katie works long hours as a nurse,

while Mike's an odd-job man at a local garage,

which leaves him plenty of time to look after their son Jack.

Jack's mint, yeah, he's just everything.

For me, he's the whole reason why I get up in the morning

and go to work.

Mike and Jack are just like brothers. They're like kids

and I have to look after them and separate them when they play-fight.

I'm like the referee, I suppose.

He's a lovely lad, I love him. I love him to bits. That's that.

And when the boys make a mess, it's usually down to Katie to tidy up.

Mike is a bit old-fashioned.

He believes that men should sit on their backsides and women hoover around them.

I'm more into simple living, definitely.

I would just say I'm like what a normal man should be like.

Without me, the place would fall apart.

And his outdated attitude isn't just limited to housework,

as he fears all things technological.

I don't like anything modern, to be fair.

The human brain isn't evolved enough for us to work these things.

Like, use the brain for what it's meant to be used for, walking about and stuff, not, like, texting.

It's a pretend world that doesn't exist and I don't want to be involved in it.

Nurse Katie might spend her life working,

but she dreams of a glitzier life, and one glitzier life in particular.

I'm quite glamorous and girly. I like Hollywood glamour.

Marilyn Monroe is my idol.

I just think she's gorgeous.

Everyone just admired her. I want to be like her.

So Katie dreams of being Marilyn, but while some like it hot,

others like it more local, and Mike is one of those people.

I do like Blackpool because you go out,

and it's like, everything is there on a plate for you.

Whatever you want, it's there. It's good. I like it.

Yee-ha!

SHE LAUGHS Can I wear the black one?

-I bet you'll suit that one.

-Top dog in it.

And our wannabe Marilyn knows exactly what she wants in a wedding.

My dream wedding would be very glamorous, like Hollywood glamour.

Champagne flowing... Just to feel like a superstar the day, I suppose.

It'd be very picturesque.

Beautiful manor house with beautiful gardens and flowers everywhere.

But as a groom with simple tastes,

Mike doesn't see a problem with planning the perfect wedding.

I don't think that weddings need that much attention or planning.

People are getting married and then you have a drink at the end of it,

it's just a day of a job -

"That'll do. What's the price? That's no good". You know? That's how you pick things, innit?

And for Mike, this wedding has one very simple brief.

All I want is for everybody to have a good time.

That's what a wedding is for me.

That's the only thing I make sure of, that everyone's happy.

But for a groom who's never had to fend for himself, is organising a wedding step too far?

I'm worried about what he's doing for the wedding,

but I'm going to be more worried about actually him,

like, is he all right?

I don't know what he's going to do without me, to be honest.

Katie may be worried, but Mike's feeling confident.

I've got three weeks to do it, I'll absolutely smash it.

It's not a problem. Why would it be a problem? It's easily done.

What would be hard about it?

But will Mike's old-fashioned values give Katie the happy Hollywood ending she deserves?

My biggest fear is that he might actually not get everything together in time.

That's the worry.

Yeah...

It's a bit daunting when you say it like that, isn't it?

It's time for Katie to pack her bags,

leaving Mike in charge of their wedding.

I'm going to miss you like mad. Will you do a good job?

-This is very important.

-I will do a good job.

You don't need to worry about it. You don't need to talk about it.

You're not going to dress me up like a fool?

No. You'll be all right. What can go wrong?

SHE CHUCKLES

The next time they see each other will be on the most important day of their lives.

Come here. Give us a hug.

-You're going to be all right, yeah?

-Yeah. Good luck.

Oh, shit. I'm going to need it. See you later, darling.

-See you later.

-See you later, babe.

-Bye.

Phewf...

Oh, my God... And the games begin.

That, I was dreading, really, saying goodbye.

For seven years, we've never really been away from each other.

Katie's moving in with her mum, so the hard-working bride actually has

someone to look after HER, for a change.

-Are you going to look after me?

-Yeah, go on, then!

Come on in.

And talk soon turns to how Mike will cope in the modern world

without Katie.

I don't know that he's been used to having to be really organised.

And if he hasn't had to have it,

then he hasn't had a lot of practice.

I think he will have my voice in his head.

The only voice Mike will be listening to will be his best man and childhood friend,

Ross.

-You're looking well.

-I know, yeah, all right, Mike?

Let's hope his advice will be more sensible than his wig.

Shall we do circles or graphs?

No, circles. So first of all, "Wedding". Over this side, "Rings".

-Times two!

-What does Katie want?

What do you want? What do you want out of this wedding?

Have a real good drink and everyone be able to eat properly

and all that, not feel stuffy and wear what they want.

I'm thinking, definitely something outside the box, a bit.

And after half an hour of thinking outside the box,

the boys have decided on a back-to-basics Blackpool wedding.

Right, are you happy?

Yeah, that's just a slight overview on what's going to happen.

-Well, I'm bored of it, anyway, so are we going out or what?

-If you want, yeah.

So two hours after Katie left him in charge of her dream day,

Mike's gone out with Ross and groomsman Reace for a night of good old-fashioned fun.

Who would've thought this wedding planning would be so easy?

Nice move(!)

It's day one of wedding planning and the boys are off to find a venue.

Marilyn-loving Katie wants a wedding fit for an icon,

and if it's an icon she wants, it's an icon she get.

500-foot icon down the road from their house.

Right, let's do it.

Proper up for this one.

And so the boys head on up to the top of the Blackpool Tower.

We are currently ascending 380 feet to the top of Blackpool Tower.

It will take us just around 69 seconds to get to the top.

I'm all right, I'm all right so far. I'm all right, I'm all right.

HE SQUEALS Oooh! Not any more, not any more!

Unfortunately, Mike isn't just scared of the modern world...

He's also scared of heights.

-Please, hold me!

-It's all right, darling, you'll be all right!

When Katie said she dreamt of the high life,

I wonder if she meant THIS high?

Oooh...

But what a view!

Mike, you should get married here!

I'm actually getting over the... just because of the view.

That is amazing.

I wouldn't be...

HE YELPS I'm not going near that!

And while the boys plan a ceremony at the most local, loftiest landmark in Blackpool,

Katie's a few miles down the road with her sister Francesca, hoping he's done anything but.

I hope he's not choosing Blackpool.

I hope he's ventured out a bit.

-If I don't smell freshly cut grass, I'll be a bit peed off.

-Yeah!

I want greenery, not,

"Oh, I might as well go to Primark while I'm here".

-Yeah, just across the road!

-Yeah, I don't want that.

-No.

-No.

So while the starry-eyed bride desperately hopes her wedding

won't be in Blackpool, the groom's over in Blackpool

in Blackpool Tower, admiring the view of Blackpool.

I want that view on the pictures.

Yeah. I like that idea. Fingers crossed it's a nice day

cos that view is absolutely fantastic.

-Unreal, isn't it?

-Yeah, it is, yeah.

As Mike grows accustomed to the height,

he grows even fonder of the tower.

Yeah, I'm from Blackpool. I've never really been up here properly.

I've enjoyed coming up here.

My dream prize would be if they said 500 quid, but my max is £1,500.

I don't even mind paying up to two grand at the end of it,

for the venue and all the other bits...

-I only wanted to pay 500 quid, but I love it.

-Yeah, it's an idea, yeah.

-We'll see.

-Let's get married on Blackpool Tower.

-Right.

-What, you two?

-Yeah!

THEY LAUGH It's mint, it's bang on.

Let's do it.

Local boy Mike has his sights set on a Blackpool Tower wedding

without even knowing if it's available or how much it costs.

Away from the donkey rides and rollercoasters,

although sadly not the British weather, nurse Katie is in the lush countryside,

visiting her dream wedding venue

with her mum Fran and maid of honour Laura.

-That's lovely.

-That's gorgeous, isn't it?

Is that a chapel or something you can get married in?

For a bride who dreams of Hollywood,

it's got the touch of sophisticated glamour

that Katie wants for her big day.

-SHE GASPS

-Do you know what it reminds me of? Titanic!

-It does, doesn't it?

-Yeah!

-I think I'd want to feel like I was on Titanic, first class.

-Yes.

-You know, that sort of style.

-Yeah.

Because you only do it once and you want it super nice, don't you?

I am the type of girl that if I had a two-bedroomed house,

I would have the chandelier that take up one of the rooms.

I am quite ridiculous like that.

If I'm like that day-to-day, where wording has got to be...

-It's got to be outstanding, hasn't it?

-Like five-star, brilliant.

-Everyone will remember it.

-Yes.

I'd just love

if it was people that you don't know walking past and stuff like that.

But with Mike wanting 2,500 tonnes of iron underneath him,

Katie's Titanic-style wedding may have hit a Tower-shaped iceberg.

MUSIC: "I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside"

Three days in,

and Mike's set his heart on booking the Blackpool Tower,

but he's struggling to get through to them.

And for a man who hates using mobiles, it's all a bit much.

"For Blackpool Tower Ballroom, press 2."

It's just an automated thing. I just want to speak to somebody.

I can't... Somebody needs to do that.

I can't handle listening to that any longer.

Just... Just try and leave a message.

I need to know what's going on with it.

If we don't get this sorted, I'm not getting married.

I can't wait for some jobsworth to get back to me - it can't happen.

I need to look elsewhere while I wait for them to get back to me.

At the moment, this is my only option -

I've put absolutely everything into getting here...

Let's go and look somewhere else.

-I'll keep ringing.

-You up for that or what?

-Yeah, yeah.

The boys need a back-up plan but, preferring to stay local,

they head to Blackpool's other icon -

130-year-old entertainment complex the Winter Gardens.

How you doing, mate? You all right?

-Welcome to the Winter Gardens.

-Michael. This is Ross, my best man.

I'd like to have my wedding here. I'm hoping you'll help me with that.

-Let me show you round and see what we've got.

-That'd be brilliant.

With a theatre, arena and grand ballroom

holding over 7,000 people, a wedding at the Winter Gardens

would leave Katie mingling with the public on her big day.

This time, with someone to at least show them around,

the boys are viewing three private spaces.

A Renaissance room and Spanish-style room for the reception.

And a Medieval-themed room for the ceremony.

Come through the Renaissance room, you have the reception area there.

And it's this room you'll actually have the ceremony in.

-Yeah.

-The civil service will take place in here.

Of course. Yeah.

Then this is the third room.

I don't like that one.

-Yeah.

-This is much better.

-Look at this, Mike!

It may not be Blackpool Tower,

but Mike would be able to have both his ceremony and reception here.

At £2,000 for the day, it'll eat into Mike's budget,

but at least this time he knows the price AND he knows it's available.

Sadly, he doesn't know if it's the right venue for him.

Just wasn't quite cool enough for me -

it wasn't quite grand enough. Do you agree with that?

-Yeah, I do. Yeah.

-I do, yeah.

I mean, it's easy. It's an easy option.

Just go in there, chuck the guy two grand.

But, I mean, I REALLY want the tower, I really want it.

Anyway, that isn't right. I won't do it there.

The Winter Gardens was a great deal,

but only if the whole do's there. I won't do it all there. It's boring.

Desperate to do a deal with the Tower,

Mike is forced to borrow Ross's phone and chase them up.

All I want to do is I want to come in and get married in the morning,

and then by 14:30, we'll be gone.

Well, can you give me a price on that?

Four... Four grand?!

Wow.

Could I have the night do there as well for four grand, or is it...?

Just for the ceremony is four grand? Well, that is...

That's well over my budget, really.

Right, thank you very much.

That's just...

No way am I paying that. Do you know what you get for four grand?

Two hours and you get to take pictures at t'top.

That's the end of that. Let's go somewhere else.

The Tower's too expensive for him, and the Winter Gardens isn't right.

Looks like planning a wedding is tougher than Mike thought.

Almost a week in and old-fashioned groom Mike

is no closer to finding a venue.

So he heads to Reace's garage,

where he's forced to seek help from his worst enemy -

a computer.

Wow, this is quite nice. Here you are, let's go to the next page.

-This has got some good stuff on it.

-I know, it has, hasn't it?

Never looked on anything. Proper old-fashioned people -

"Hey, this bloody internet's half-decent, innit?

"Find some stuff on it, can't ya?"

-"They've got pictures with words and everything to boot."

-Yeah.

With the wonders of modern technology proving fruitful,

Mike makes a list of possible venues to call.

I've never rung a number with a different area code, you know, than mine.

Just wondering if I can speak to anyone about booking a wedding?

-Right.

-But with setback...

So you've never had a function or a party there?

-That's fair enough.

-..after setback...

Is there not somebody who owns the place

and they're not a town hall, where they go...? Oh... Right.

Forget it. They won't let you in a park - it's all the council.

..the groom who though he could smash it is in pieces.

We've tried them all.

This stuff does my head in.

I can't deal with this kind of stuff, I can't handle it.

I don't know what went on in my brain,

but to think that I actually thought I could do this...

is a bit crazy, cos I don't think I can.

He might be right.

Mike's no closer to finding a venue, and the huge responsibility

of planning a wedding is starting to dawn on him.

I've never been in a position where people are relying on me.

This, you've got to be good at doing it.

And I don't know the first thing about it. I don't have a clue, like.

I feel like I can't make a decision, you know what I mean? In my own head.

On anything.

When does a man ever decide anything about a wedding?

Do they? Don't they just turn up?

Do you know what I mean?

But most men now, they're like modern men and that

that are equipped with these sort of tools in life, where...

You know what I mean? Where they... Where they just...

Yes, they know about things like flowers and that.

I don't know jack shit. I don't know nothing about anything.

I'm used to just going home, mate, and just saying to my bird...

You know what I mean? "Life's shit...

"give us a hug." You know what I mean? And...

Nothing replaces that - that's why you're marrying her.

I can totally understand it. I mean...

the amount of times I've seen you

and I just want to give you a big hug myself.

-Cos I can see it, and I'm like... I understand.

-Switch that off.

Down by the seafront,

Katie and her bridesmaid, Laura, are worrying about Mike.

I think he sees me as like his support.

-Know what I mean?

-You're his rock.

-I know that sounds cheesy.

-Yeah, that's me.

-But you are.

Yeah, if he's really like, "I can't make a decision, what shall I do?"

He'll come and ask me and I'll be like, "Right, calm down."

That's rule number one.

Like, we get him calm and then we talk through it again.

And then he's like...

He can make sense of it then and go, "Right, yeah, I agree." Or...

Do you know what I mean?

And he hasn't got that, so it must be really difficult.

I just don't want people that, like, I respect and people I love and that...

..to think I've made a shambles of it.

Forced to make a decision, Mike is left with one option -

The Winter Gardens, a venue he'd previous rejected.

I just need to...to just man up, get it done and enjoy my day.

At the end of week one,

Mike books the Winter Gardens for his ceremony AND reception.

With food included, it's £4,600 from the budget.

It's hugely popular, but it isn't what he wants

and it isn't the Hollywood location Katie dreamt of.

It's the beginning of week two.

And, thankfully for a groom who hates decisions,

the venue is sorted.

Less thankfully, the wedding dress isn't.

For no-frills Mike, it's about to get...well, frilly.

-Nice to meet you.

-Michael.

-I'm Hannah. Hi.

I'm Reace.

-Can I look at a few dresses? Is that OK?

-Of course.

-Can we help ourselves?

-Yeah! Well, not really.

We're not going to be greasing them up and that.

-What kind of thing have you got in mind?

-Um...

It's hard for me - I can't chat about wedding dresses.

-I just want a look.

-Do you want me to help you?

-Yeah, um...

Working long hours as a nurse,

Katie wants to look like a Hollywood movie star on her big day,

and swap her scrubs for a glamorous wedding dress.

-Hello, ladies.

-Hiya.

-Hello.

So she's brought her very own entourage

of Mum and three bridesmaids out for a spot of daydreaming.

I like all of them, to be honest. I like all the glitz and... Yeah.

Yeah? So if you're liking sparkle, yes? Let me show you this one.

-That's really big, isn't it?

-Huge!

-Very full. It's a very traditional-looking dress.

-Yeah.

Katie, we've spotted one.

Ooh, that's nice. That is lovely, that.

Looks like it'd stand up by itself.

Right, Katie, we'll use this fitting room.

-It's getting really real now.

-Yeah.

I think it'll be Blackpool Tower.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

-Do you?

-Yeah.

Something iconic.

That's Mike, definitely.

THEY ALL LAUGH

Well, he didn't get the Tower.

But forced into the world of dress shopping,

Mike IS getting in touch with his feminine side.

-This one here...

-Yeah?

Let's have a look.

-That's lovely, isn't it?

-That's a nice dress.

Hard to say what you like about a dress,

as I don't have a clue, but...

-I like the sparkles.

-You're drawn to it.

-I like the sparkly bits.

-Yeah?

-It has a subtle amount of detail.

-I'm drawn to stuff.

It's like I don't know why I like Stevie Wonder, but he's mint. It's just one of them.

BRIDESMAIDS GASP Ah, wow!

-Stunning.

-Yeah.

-It's really lovely.

-Lovely.

-Ah, it's gorgeous.

-Katie, you look beautiful.

It's a classic dress, fit for a Hollywood idol.

I just want to touch it, don't you?

-I feel like a real film star.

-Do you?

Yeah, I just need a red carpet.

THEY ALL LAUGH

I hope he gets something dead good now.

-Cos now you get your hopes up, don't you?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

-This is the first one.

-It's got to be that one, hasn't it?

-Yeah, that's it.

-Do you know what...?

-It's got to be that one, hasn't it?

It's the first dress he's picked out,

and with his bloke hat firmly on,

Mike's gone for a huge, ruffly meringue with flower detailing.

Nothing like the simple, sophisticated Hollywood dress Katie wants.

Who would've thought no-frills Mike would go quite so frilly?

Before I come in here, I was like, "I don't like these ruffles - they look like toilet roll."

But I'm into them a little bit now.

-I've changed my mind a little bit on it.

-OK. Fair enough.

It's lovely, yeah. That'd be perfect, yeah.

While Mike's happy with a dress that reminds him of ruffly toilet roll,

Katie's found another glamorous gown fit for a movie star.

I just think it's really beautiful. I think it's...

-It's very classy, isn't it?

-It is.

-Elegant, yeah.

It's just classy.

-I don't think I could decide. I think I'd have to have both.

-Yes!

-THEY ALL LAUGH

-Yeah.

It seems dressing like Marilyn

has given Katie a taste of the Hollywood lifestyle.

-If SHE can't decide, how's HE going to decide?

-Oh, dear me!

That's simple - he'll pick the first dress he lays eyes on.

I picked them.

But at £1,500, Mike's wrinkly, ruffly dress

is WAY over the budget he'd set aside.

It's a lot of money, isn't it? It's 1,500 quid, right, for the dress?

Thing, thing, thing...

Say, "I like it but I need to get her shoes. Can you sort us out?"

I'm sure they will.

Do you know what? Don't waste your time.

-You're trying stuff on. Don't worry.

-It doesn't matter.

-It's a big decision.

-You have to make the right choice.

-I've made it.

We need to talk about the price of that and whether I can afford it.

If not, it's out of the window. Do you know what I mean?

We can do the dress with the veil and tiara, then that's doable.

Desperate to escape the girly world of shopping, Mike's made a decision.

A £1,500 decision.

Get it boxed off. I'm sick of talking about wedding dresses.

Yeah, that's bang on.

-Thank you very much. Cheers.

-With over half his budget spent,

Mike has neither the Hollywood venue OR the Hollywood dress Katie wants.

To pay 1,500 quid for a piece of material, for me, is like craziness.

I don't think you've got anything to worry about.

-You think it's all right?

-Yeah, it's better than all right, yeah.

Yeah. Hopefully, we've got it right.

Well, he'll have to wait and see.

TRAM BELL RINGS

Mike may not have the Tower,

but he's still convinced that, in true Blackpool style,

he can fill his wedding with good, old-fashioned fun.

And nothing says "good, old-fashioned fun"

like dressing as a cowboy.

Time to ride in and clean up this town.

But first he needs his rootin', tootin' sidekick...

Got the caps in.

GUN CLICKS

I used them all before I got here. Yeah, I have.

BANG! There we go, there's one.

..assuming he doesn't shoot him first.

Right, kid.

Let's write down what I want from the whole night,

so from when people first get there...

And for cowboy Mike,

nothing is too over-the-top for his big Blackpool wedding.

What I want to do is, while I'm writing this down,

I want to get a kind of magician going round the tables.

And then what I want,

I want a bouncy castle slide that goes onto the dance floor.

That's easily done - I know a guy for that.

And then everyone gets up, has a boogie...

..and then just gets smashed up.

Right, with all these different things going on,

are we still sticking with a theme, or what's going to happen?

Yeah, there is a theme - everyone will have a good time.

That's the theme.

It's like the entertainment side's a big thing for me.

Because you want people to...

Every step they take, something different goes on, you know?

You don't need to spend crazy amounts to make something fun for people.

You got to a field and throw a ball for your dog,

and you're having a good time with your dog.

-It doesn't cost you any money, does it?

-No, it doesn't, no.

With the wedding fast approaching,

and with no idea what Mike's planning,

Katie's mum is growing concerned.

He's going to want to speak to you to get your advice on things.

And I think if you could just say, "That's fine," he'd be OK.

-But I should think he's in a bit of turmoil at the moment.

-Yeah.

Cos we... We discuss everything all the time.

You know, "Oh, should I buy that or not?"

And we always discuss all our decisions, really.

-Cos he hates shopping as well!

-He does.

-He doesn't even go to the supermarket.

-No.

I think he'd, like, panic buy.

THEY BOTH LAUGH

-Panic buy?!

-Yeah!

You can't panic buy a wedding venue!

He might.

I think he'd be like, "Can you do it? "Right, here's the money."

You know, and hopefully it'll mould together.

-You may end up with a mash of stuff that doesn't go together.

-Yeah.

He's not a selfish person.

I don't think he's going to get something that just appeals to him.

Everything he gets will be because he thinks that you like it.

So if you don't like it, you're going to have to fake it.

-Fake it?

-Fake it.

I'm not a good actress, you know?

You should be. "God, this is exactly what I wanted."

-"I couldn't have done it better."

-But just wink at me and I'll know!

Our wannabe Marilyn might just need to give an Oscar-worthy performance to pull that off.

The less than two weeks to go,

Mike's still on a mission to fill his venue with old-fashioned fun.

So he spends £200 on inflatables.

Hiya, you all right? Do you do bouncy castles?

I want the ones where you run and the bungee rope pulls you back.

Have you got one of them?

And still not quite trusting that internet thing,

he searches for entertainment the old-fashioned way -

-holding auditions with local cabaret acts.

-Oh, shit!

-10 of hearts. Was that a free choice, Mike?

-Total free choice.

Would you just turn that over, have a look and show.

You're booked, you're booked! Don't show me nowt else, you're booked.

Finally Mike spends £830 on a fire-breathing juggler,

a string quartet and a balloon-bending magician.

-Don't do that, that just cheapens it.

-Yeah, let's just not ruin it.

And the Blackpool-themed razzmatazz doesn't stop there.

Next, it's bridesmaids' outfits from a local ballgown dress shop.

-Those, I have three of those.

-Yeah.

-In the blue.

I do like the corset type with the bouff going on.

That's the effect I'm after, yeah.

Turns out bridesmaids' dresses are even easier to choose

than wedding dresses.

And at £100 each, it's a done deal.

-I'm happy at that.

-We'll take them.

-Okey-dokey.

-Sold.

-Sold machine.

Thank you.

It's an impulse buy in under 10 minutes. Yee-ha!

If the girls aren't happy with these, bollocks to them. They're talking rubbish.

If they don't fit, that's different but if they do fit, tough titty. It's happening.

So the boys have convinced themselves

and with nearly eight grand of his budget spent,

let's hope he can convince the bridesmaids, too.

Walking about with dresses!

With the second week of wedding planning drawing to a close,

our macho no-nonsense groom is finally realising

how much he needs the woman in his life.

If I've got stresses in my life, I talk to her at night about them

and she listens.

She, like, helps me more than I help her looking back at things.

I thought it was the other way round but my personality's one

that has to have somebody in their life, obviously

because with her not being here, it's broke me.

Without realising it, I must run everything past her.

I must just run everything past her cos that's... Like, little things.

I thought making decisions is not going to be a problem.

I thought it's not a problem.

12 grand, bring it on, let's just... Yeah, whatever.

But yeah, the decision-making has been hard because I feel like...

Even now I'm worrying like mad,

hoping that I've not made a big balls-up on the venue or the food...

It's like... I've not slept properly at all through the whole thing.

Worrying, worrying, worrying, worrying. So in that respect,

I think it's probably a good thing cos at least I know I care.

You know what I mean? At least I know that I care about it rather than not be bothered

and slap Harry about it because I do.

I look rough, I'm feeling rough at the end of this, definitely.

I'm feeling like I need a good night's sleep and a good hug

off my missus, just watch a DVD and forget about everything.

Determined to see this through, Mike's invited round Katie's bridesmaids -

Lindsay, Francesca and Laura.

We're hoping that we're going to be taken away

-to go and choose our dresses rather than him having bought them.

-Yeah.

I went into a shop and I bought your bridesmaids' dresses.

Oh, no! They're on the back of that door? Oh, I don't want to look.

-Shut your eyes.

-Have a look.

-Oh, God.

-Doooooooo... Ooh, hang on.

-Are they blue?

-Are they sky blue?

-Are they blue?

-Well...

-Oh, my God.

-What? What?

-Shit! GIRLS LAUGH

-I'm sorry.

-There's no sorries.

-They'll look lovely on.

-It looks like an American prom dress.

-Yeah, it does.

'They're trying the dresses on now and I can't wait to see it.'

They're either going to look like transvestites or like Snow White

but I think it might be the other one!

Yeah! Oh, my God.

-You look lovely. You do actually look lovely.

-They don't fit.

-Mike, look.

It's completely hanging off me.

-I think they're lovely, do you not like them?

-No, not at all, Mike.

-I feel like Bo Peep.

-This is horrible.

-I think they look good.

-No.

I tell you what, it's a good job I'm not a single lad.

You'd be getting whipped off your feet! The thing is, the shop I went to,

they're the only dresses that there's three of the same.

-I think they look nice.

-No.

-She'll cry!

-She'll cry, Mike.

It's your wedding.

HE SIGHS So you wouldn't wear them?

-If it was a different colour...

-Yeah.

-..then yes.

There is no option on that.

-I can't get three of the same.

-Why can't you just take them back?

That uncomfortable silence - you could cut it with a knife.

-If there is seriously nothing...

-We should just give up and wear them.

-..then we'll wear these.

-You'll have to get them sized.

-Sounds all right to me.

-I give up.

Mike's not backing down and the girls have no option

but to wear the sparkly princess ballgowns on Katie's wedding day.

-I feel so bad on Mike. I really, really do feel bad but...

-I don't.

He's not actually put any thought into this, has he?

He's just thought, "That's a nice style,

"that's a good deal, I'll have that."

You look like you're going to cry!

No, I just don't know what to think now.

With the big day nearing, the dress disaster has left Mike

doubting his straight-up, no-nonsense decision-making.

If that's the reaction off the bridesmaids' dresses -

and I thought they were all right, I still do...

..what's my judgement on her wedding dress going to be like?

Maybe I've got it wrong.

I'm going to look back at this and cringe.

# Where have you been all my life? #

It's the weekend before the wedding and time for the hen and stag

and where better to party than the Las Vegas of the North?

Blackpool's famous for its wild hen parties and boisterous stag dos.

MUSIC: "New World Symphony" by Dvorak

But Mike's shunned all that in favour of a Sunday morning fishing trip.

Caught summat.

I think I have, hang on. Yeah, I've caught.

-Well, anyway, 1-0.

-Hey!

-1-0!

Over at Katie's mum's,

without an invite or any news on the wedding, the girls are worried

about what Mike could possibly have planned for them on a Sunday.

I feel a bit nervous and I don't get nervous easy.

I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing,

I don't know what to wear.

And it just makes you feel a bit unnerved, doesn't it? It's like...

I can't imagine what he's having me doing.

I'd hate to go somewhere, just where you're wet and muddy and...yeah.

If I'm wet and muddy, it's just not good.

But they needn't have worried

as Mike's sent the girls to the countryside.

And what better place for a glamorous bride

who doesn't want a wet, muddy, scary hen do than...

SCREAMING

Oh, my God!

..swinging from trees in the middle of nowhere?

This is not fun!

With no thought for girly pampering,

Mike's macho mind has got the better of him,

sending Katie and her pals

to tackle a blokey treetop assault course.

SCREAMING

Oh, shit!

He deserves a slap round the face with a wet fish.

Oh, he got one!

Oh, that was a slap, that!

-# Gone fishin'

-I'm real gone, man

-# You ain't working any more

-Could be. #

-Right, are we going? Cos I'm fed up now.

-We've done it.

-You haven't enjoyed it?

-No, I've bloody hated it! I have.

I've got mud all over me,

I've got bark in my knickers.

So, no, I haven't really enjoyed it.

As our unimpressed bride trudges off,

Mike's soaking up the simple pleasures of...sitting on a boat?

I just love that there's no-one around for miles.

I'm just enjoying it, just enjoying chilling out, mate.

# Gone fishin'

# Oh, yeah. #

With the bark safely removed from their knickers, the girls

glam up as Mike's booked them into Katie's favourite restaurant.

-Cheers!

-To the bride!

But they've had a first glimpse of Mike's wedding planning

-and it's not gone down well.

-'She's putting a brave face on,'

I don't think she's having a brilliant time.

'It's on a Sunday, she's at work in the morning'

-so she can't really have a good time partying, so...

-Yeah.

I'm a bit disappointed today. It just feels really unorganised so...

Yeah, I'm losing faith fast.

I just don't feel in the mood whatsoever.

Bye!

With just a few days left,

Mike's keen to show Katie he CAN arrange a dream romantic wedding.

He's at Blackpool beach to organise her invitation and for once,

it involves a modern invention. Well, as modern as Mike gets anyway.

Right, Ross, this is to make up for the crap engagement.

I messed that looked so we'll at least get this bit right.

As the boys rake away, across town,

Mike's booked a taxi for Katie and bridesmaid Laura.

Hiya.

I think it's your invitation, yeah. He needs to, he needs to get

the invite to you. It's been too long now.

All I wanted was a little card through my letterbox.

With Katie en route, Mike's putting the finishing touches

to his grand, romantic - if somewhat sandy - invite.

OK, thank you very much. "Blackpool Aviation and Operations Centre."

-I don't even know what that means. Do you?

-No, I don't.

-OK, ladies, we're going for a short flight.

-Oh, my God.

-You do know, I hate flying, don't you?

-So do I!

Mike's hired a plane but the girls still have no idea what he's up to.

-Just wake me up when it's all over.

-Just squeeze up like that.

Oh, yeah, looks really good.

I'm glad I'm doing this because it makes up for...for a bad proposal.

Hopefully she'll appreciate it.

I hope so, cos I think it's quite a nice gesture

but we'll see, won't we?

SCREAMING AND ENGINE ROARING

Oh, no!

Oh, my stomach. Oh! Oh, my God!

As the plane heads towards the beach,

Katie and Mike are about to catch a glimpse of each other

for the first time in nearly three weeks.

I can see him waving.

MUSIC: "Sweet Disposition" by The Temper Trap

-There it is. "Katie, marry me, Friday 29th."

-Friday!

-It says, "Katie, marry me on Friday." Aww.

-Aww!

That's definitely made up for the rubbish proposal.

-It was amazing, that.

-Yeah.

-Made me cry. Aww.

So nice, and to see him waving... Oh, my God!

'To be this near to her

'and not be able to say hello or owt is a bit strange.'

Hopefully she's seen it so she'll turn up on the day. But...

I don't know, it's not a happy feeling.

I'll be honest, it's not a happy feeling stood here cos it's...

..you know what I mean, you've got your wife-to-be up in a plane and you're down here, with a rake.

With less than 48 hours until the wedding,

Mike's off to see best man Ross to add up his budget.

But our outdated groom usually leaves household bills

to the missus, so this is alien territory.

£11,720.

-That's it. Hang on a minute.

-And then 400 for the string quartet.

We're £200 over budget.

119, I've not bought a glass of wine for a person. Tell you what...

Oh, I don't want to jack the string quartet, but why are they so expensive?

Is there anything we can cancel?

I can't do it. I've not bought a drink for anyone.

I can't have people not have a drink and have violins going on.

I can't do the violins. I'll ring her now and tell her.

It's not happening. I can't afford to finish the wedding the way I want.

It was a nice thought. It would have been nice.

I'm over it.

,Mike has overspent and the first thing to go

is the romantic string quartet,

something Marilyn and Katie probably would have liked.

It's the day before the wedding and Katie is off to the dress shop

with her mum and bridesmaids.

She's hoping Mike's picked a dress fit for a movie star.

I'm trying to keep positive, but it's difficult.

It's the unknown. I don't have a clue what I'm about to see.

I am feeling nervous. I've got butterflies in my stomach!

-This is your dress.

-Wow!

Don't look so worried!

His choice of ball gowns may not have gone down well

but will his wedding dress be glamorous enough

for a hard-working nurse who dreams of Hollywood?

I'm nervous because I'm in shock about what he chose

for our bridesmaid dresses.

I'm worried that he might go for the similar sort of style.

SHE LAUGHS

-Face that when it comes!

-Yes!

My word! I didn't expect it to be that big!

It's really not what I expected. I'm quite shocked.

Ladies, are we ready to see the bride?

ALL: Yes!

Here we go.

THEY GASP

-You look lovely!

-Look at that dress!

That is so nice!

You look amazing!

ALL TALK AT ONCE

I can't talk!

It's beautiful. You look beautiful in it.

I feel absolutely gorgeous!

And a bit princessy.

I didn't think I would go for a princessy

but it's stunning.

I cannot believe that he's chosen this.

It's not what I expected at all.

It's better than anything I'd have picked.

It's gorgeous.

It couldn't be better.

It may be more Cinderella than Some Like It Hot,

but somehow Mike has chosen a dress she likes.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

You look so beautiful!

-Beautiful!

-It's stunning!

A happy Katie leaves with her stunning dress.

Will she be as happy tomorrow when she finds out she'll be wearing it

on a bouncy castle in the middle of Blackpool?

It's the morning of the wedding and Katie's still beaming.

It won't be long till she's back with Mike.

I can't wait now. I can't wait to see him.

I feel like I should be doing something.

I'm just sat here waiting.

-I'm not good at waiting.

-Not knowing as well.

I'm sure it'll be fine. He'll have thought of everything.

No, not sure he's thought of everything!

Meanwhile, at the best man's house,

Mike's putting his all into the big day.

I'll get the cake. Drop the cake off at the Winter Gardens,

pick the hand-tied up, come back here, pick my suit up,

pick me bits up, straight back down there,

You've got the hand-tied,

-I'll take the flowers.

-You'll take the flowers.

Katie's about to get her first surprise of the day.

But what will she make of Mike's over-the-top ball gowns?

THEY LAUGH

Oh, my... I didn't expect that!

I love them. I love them.

-Seriously?

-I love them. I'd have never have picked that.

But that is gorgeous. So different from every other wedding.

It's really nice.

Group hug!

-Yeah!

-I love your hair as well!

With the wedding looming, Mike and best man Ross head to the venue.

It should be fine, as long as they haven't forgotten

anything massively important.

-Did you pick the rings up?

-What?

You said you'd keep them on you.

Tell me we've not lost the ring. Tell me we've not lost the ring.

You need to get them. I've not picked them up.

I forgot the rings - dickhead!

There's still a lot to do, and Mike's got no option

but to send a friend back to pick up the rings.

And the buttonholes. He forgot those too.

I've got to be in here and I've got to sort this shit out.

Is there any way you can... I've got to meet and greet people.

-I'll go off in this.

-You go off in this.

We'll carry this out now.

-What am I collecting from yours?

-Buttonholes, rings...

Blissfully unaware of her ringless groom,

Katie's adding the finishing touches to her glamorous gown

with the help of son Jack.

ALL TALK AT ONCE

Tell her nice!

-Ah! Look at that face.

-I feel gorgeous.

-Me too.

-Do you?

You look very handsome, don't you?

THEY LAUGH

In less than an hour, Katie will find out

whether Mike's truly coped without her.

It's actually happening now.

You seem to run with everything because you're busy

and then you're like, "Actually, I'm getting married now."

-Suddenly, yeah.

-I can't believe it's finally arrived.

All seems well as Katie's next surprise arrives -

a car fit for a movie star.

Wow, that's amazing.

-I'm guessing you're for me.

-I'm for you!

So far so good.

Katie can only hope her plush car is taking her to

the mansion of her dreams.

-We're lingering around Blackpool.

-We are lingering around Blackpool.

-We're very central, aren't we?

-Can't get much more central than that.

I'm nervous now. It's not what I had as an ideal place.

It's been a difficult time for Mike,

who's put everything into organising the dream day

for his wife-to-be. The pressure is starting to show.

Need to get changed for my own wedding.

Fuck's sake! Can you give me a minute?

Mike's nowhere near ready. Unfortunately, his guests are.

She was hoping for the Country House Hotel.

In the middle of Blackpool will be a bit of a surprise.

But, if the room is beautiful, that will be good.

It's essential that it is!

-The Winter Gardens.

-The Winter Gardens?

I'll have to see when I get in there

before I'm convinced.

-Look - everyone's looking at me!

-I know.

It's not what I expected.

Katie may be unimpressed with the city-centre location.

But she's minutes away from the surname she's always wanted

and her now bow-tied husband.

Would all the guests please stand?

I'm scared!

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.

If anyone here knows of any reason why this man and this woman

may not be joined in marriage,

then you should declare it now.

Give it a minute.

LAUGHTER

-Carry on.

-You're all right!

LAUGHTER

I, Michael Lewis Plows do take Katherine Leigh Twentyman

to be my lawful wedded wife,

to cherish and care for you, whatever the future may bring.

I, Katherine Leigh Twentyman do take thee, Michael Lewis Plows

to be my lawful wedded husband.

Michael and Katherine, it now gives me the greatest of pleasure

to tell you that you are husband and wife together.

Congratulations.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

PARTY POPPERS EXPLODE

-Give us a minute.

-Are you all right?

-I just miss you.

Honestly, you've done absolutely amazing.

You've done good.

It's been three long weeks but Mike and Katie are back together -

as husband and wife at last.

I'm really surprised, actually!

He's done so well.

The venue is beautiful.

She looks so stunning and so happy.

That's really what we wanted for them both.

The bridesmaids are on side with his ceremony.

But what will the new Mrs Plows make of Blackpool's bonanza?

Oh, wow!

-What do you think?

-It's gorgeous in here.

It's lovely, isn't it?

-What have you been up to?

-Flipping heck, yeah!

-You've been busy.

-Yeah.

It may not be every bride's dream to have a bouncy castle at her wedding

but it seems Katie's taking it in her stride.

And she's loving it.

What more do you want from a wedding?!

Watch this!

-Are you up for it?

-I think that's on full speed.

SHE LAUGHS

-I think it's amazing.

-Good.

-I really do.

It seems the groom who was out of touch with the modern world

has pulled off this wedding, with a spot of Blackpool charm.

But in true Mike style, he hasn't prepared a speech.

APPLAUSE

I didn't realise I'd be saying anything

so I've not prepared anything.

I'm going to keep it short and sweet, like me.

Here we go.

I've enjoyed the process with my friends, doing it together.

I want to say thanks to everyone for coming.

Thank you. That's it. There's not much else to say.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I thought I was good at making quick decisions.

I'm not that great.

It was just so hard to do.

To say, "Smash it. Easy." You can't say them words.

Them words can't really come out of your mouth.

It's not easy.

I probably wouldn't have had a buckaroo...at my wedding.

Actually, definitely not.

But, all the fun things you've put into it,

like the bouncy castle in the middle of the dance floor, I love it.

-It's shown that you can make decisions.

-Yeah.

Don't doubt yourself so much, because you can do it.

Don't make me make any more - I couldn't do it.

Mike may have doubted his own decisions

but it looks like they've paid off.

His bouncy reception is a hit.

It's been wonderful and very eccentric is the word

that I would use.

Lots of lovely, random parts that came together in a strange mixture.

The thing with Mike, as long as you're happy, he's happy.

That's always been the way.

Everyone's having a good time. Katie's happy, so, yeah. Loved it.

Today has been absolutely fantastic.

I've enjoyed every minute.

Planning a girlie wedding for a wannabe Marilyn

wasn't easy for macho Mike. But gentlemen prefer blondes.

And this blonde prefers Mike just the way he is.

# It may be quite simple but

# Now that it's done... #

I think you've done an amazing job and I'm proud of you.

-Thanks.

-You've done absolutely amazing.

# How wonderful life is

# Now you're in the world... #

There's something I want to say to you.

How rubbish I am, how great you are.

So...thanks for marrying me.

No, thanks for marrying me.

I think you've done amazing.

You really have.

-Thank you.

-Yeah, good.

Dearie me!

Next time...

Will it be a historic wedding for all the wrong reasons...

You don't have to worry about breaking anyone's legs.

..when a groom is stuck in the 18th century...

I'm not normal. I happily admit that.

..gives a history-hating hairdresser...

I can't believe he's done that!

..a day she'll never forget?

I love him! I really love him! But he better get it right.

# Ooh, baby

# Here I am Signed, sealed delivered

# I'm yours

# Then that time I went and said goodbye

# Now I'm back and not ashamed to cry

# Ooh, baby

# Here I am Signed, sealed delivered

# I'm yours

# Ohhh... #

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