Nicole & Sean Don't Tell the Bride

-Anybody got any confetti?

-Yeah!

-Come on, then.

-Every girl...

-I do.

-..likes to take control of her wedding.

So, what happens when she has no say on her big day?

-Oh! They are awful.

-We're not doing it.

Don't Tell The Bride is back!

This is ridiculous.

As ever, the grooms are in charge.

I want there to be a donkey at the wedding.

I'll look lovely on our big day.

But with £12,000 to spend

and just three weeks to throw the wedding of their dreams...

-Tell my mum I love her!

-SQUEALING

..have the boys pushed themselves too far?

-Oh, my God!

-You're fired!

With more shocking...

more outrageous...

and more daredevil weddings than ever before,

will there be a happy ever after?

This is not the thing you get wrong the day before your wedding.

-Will true love save the day?

-Mum, what is that? Mum, what is that?

Or is it a countdown to disaster?

Three, two, one.

Tonight, Harry Potter fan Sean...

-That's cool that.

-..plans a wizardly wedding.

We look like the three Wicked Witches of the West.

..for his down-to-earth bride-to-be Nicole.

I'm not having a good time.

Will he put her under his spell?

-They just want to make a fool of us.

-Make us look stupid.

Or will his best man ruin the illusion?

There's this theme, no. no. This venue, no, no. Everything no.

There'll be wands, there'll be witches,

but will there be a wedding?

I can't go to the wedding, simple as. He'll have to change it.

When 23-year-old Sean and Liam from St Helens met,

it wasn't love, it was lust.

-It's never been love, it's been lust.

-Yeah.

-See?

The boys met in school ten years ago and bonded over their hair.

No, really!

He copied my haircut. I'd have a different haircut every week

and he'd say, "Where did you get it done?" And in he'd come in the same.

And, mutual buzz cuts later, the boys were inseparable.

We just understand each other.

Like proper childish, that's why I think we get on so well.

It seemed nothing could get in the way of this pair.

# Loving you... # RECORD SCRATCHES

Sean, are you coming home or just going to sit here all day?

Well, not until an actual girl came along.

When Sean met Nicole in a bar two years ago,

he soon made a big impression, sort of.

I remember Sean was looking at me.

Like doing the, you know, the eye.

You know when you can just tell that's the one.

I think it was love at first sight.

-It was not, Sean.

-It was.

-It wasn't.

-It was.

So, it was love at first sight, or not. Who knows?

Either way, Nicole's head over heels now.

We trust each other, like, completely

and I think that's why we work so well, like,

cos we're best friends, as well.

Six months ago, Sean popped the question in Vegas,

after impressing Nicole with his chopper.

I organised, like, a helicopter trip. I just done it then.

I just went, "Oh, my God." And then I just wanted

to get off the helicopter, cos I felt really sick!

-I didn't say yeah.

-She's not even said yeah.

-I haven't.

-Going to say yeah now?

-Yeah. SHE LAUGHS

Nicole may have a ring on her finger,

but that's the only traditional thing about this relationship.

We just switched roles completely.

I don't know why that is,

because he just acts like a woman

and I act like a man.

And Nicole's not just any man. She's a really, really lazy man!

# I want to break free

# I want to break free... #

I do, like, absolutely everything in the house.

The washing, the tidying up, um...

I make her teas, baths, everything.

Don't forget to do the bottom shelf.

She is proper lazy. She'd never think about cleaning the dishes

-or anything, would you?

-No.

-Like, or mopping the floor.

I used to do it on a Saturday after dancing, but I gave up that, as well.

But taking care of Nicole isn't Sean's only job.

I work as, like, a barber, so it is like a very creative job.

You have to have a good imagination and stuff.

I would say he was like quite an imaginary, er... What?

THEY LAUGH

-Person.

-I would say he was an imaginarativ...

-I can't say that word!

-Imagine, imaginary.

-'It's imaginative!'

-Imaginarity?

-Imaginary person!

-Oh, yeah!

-No! That's not what you are.

-'It's imaginative!'

-Maybe he's not an imaginarative person!

-'He's definitely not that!'

LAUGHTER

Well, whatever he is, he's meticulous in the bathroom.

# That's what makes you beautiful! #

'He does like grooming himself. Doing his eyebrows.

'Moisturising, exfoliating his skin.'

I mean, I do take, like, quite a long time, but not as long as Sean.

-What do you think of this?

-Yeah.

-How about this?

-No.

Oh, Sean, stop messing about! I want to go out!

But while Sean knows how to dress, it seems that's about all he knows.

A lot of people call Sean the Joey Essex of St Helens,

cos he's thick! SHE LAUGHS

I can see where they're coming from, sometimes, the way I act.

He asked my mum what two times three was the other day!

Like, he has stupid ideas and doesn't check with me first

if they're all right.

'He's very childlike.'

Can we have, like, a grilled chicken breast baguette with chips?

Yeah, but just plain.

He's never had beef.

-I will try it soon, but...

-He says this all the time, but he doesn't!

I'm worried about the wedding, cos he only likes chicken and chips.

He'll think everyone just wants chicken and chips.

'He won't think of other people and that's what I'm worried about.

Sean may act like a kid, but this boy's definitely got a dark side.

I like all, like, dark deadly stuff like that, you know what I mean?

HEAVY METAL MUSIC, GROWLING AND SCREAMING

If I could, like, I'd have every single wall in the house black!

It's a bit too much. SEAN LAUGHS

Like saying he worships the devil and stuff.

I don't say I worship the devil. I just am interested in it.

I wouldn't be surprised if he got me a black dress.

EVIL LAUGHTER

And black is the last thing part-time shop assistant

and dance instructor Nicole wants on her big day.

I want my wedding to be a very traditional wedding.

Everyone in light colours. I want a big, white, vintage car

to take me and the bridesmaids to my church wedding.

In one word, it'll be classy.

However, there's a bigger issue with Sean planning her dream day.

He's got horrible taste. THEY LAUGH

-That's cool, isn't it?

-No.

No. No. No.

And that isn't the only thing Nicole's not keen on.

There's also the best man.

I don't really get on with Liam. He doesn't really get on with me.

When he first got with Nicole, he was like a sheep dog.

-What do you mean by that?

-Deleted me off your phone.

Didn't speak to me for weeks.

I don't really want him to have anything to do with my wedding

just because I don't think he really likes me

and he might do something spiteful.

So, no black and no Liam. simple!

This is big kid Sean's chance to impress.

I'm hoping that he can step up

and act like an adult by planning my big day.

I think that I'll be able to do it good.

Do a good job of this.

Nicole will be liking what the ideas what I'm going to have.

-And I will give you the best day ever.

-I hope you do.

-I will.

And you make decisions by yourself.

And I can make decisions by myself, yeah.

'Yeah! All by yourself!'

-As long as Liam helps me, I'll be able to do it.

-'Oh!'

The time has come for Nicole to leave.

-It's going to be mad not being here, innit?

-Mmm.

-Eh?

-Yeah.

The next time she sees Sean will be at their wedding.

-SHE SNIFFS

-Love you.

# You might seem so strong... #

With bridesmaids Kirsty and Jess,

Nicole's heading across town to her family home,

where she'll be staying for the next three weeks.

Are you more nervous or more excited?

More sad.

Really?

But how will she cope without the man who waits on her hand and foot?

-You OK?

-Yeah.

-DAD:

-All right?

-Yeah.

Hello!

We'll look after you. You know that don't you, eh?

I'm going to have to, like, dry my own hair and stuff!

-LAUGHTER

-He dries your hair?!

-Oh, my God! You diva!

-Oh, my!

Does he wash your hair?

Oh, my God, he's whipped.

He just dries it with a towel.

SHE CRIES, LAUGHTER

With Nicole out of the way and in a bit of state,

the man she doesn't want involved in her wedding

is about to get involved in her wedding.

It's best man Liam.

-What's happening? How's it going?

-I brought some bevvies, lad.

Still, at least he's brought supplies.

The boys get straight to work.

-Right. Do you want me to tell you about what ideas I've got?

-Go on.

NICOLE: 'In the next three weeks,

'I hope that Sean will grow up as a person.'

At the moment, he lives in little Sean world.

So I want the wedding to be like Harry Potter theme wedding.

-HE GIGGLES

-But, yeah, that's my idea.

-Witches, wardrobes...

-No, not...

-Er, witches and wizards.

I'm a really big Harry Potter fan.

And I'd want the actual wedding to take place at, like, night-time.

As it's going dark, like, into, like, er...like, a forest.

Lights in the trees, lanterns.

All that type of effect and, like, an owl that brings us the rings.

Owls carrying rings at a wizard's wedding?

Sounds like a hoot! Unless you'd hate that.

Like Nicole and her mum would.

My family are Catholics and I would like her to get married in church.

-All my family would just expect us to get married at St Austin's.

-Yeah.

-So, on the night-time, what...? Where?

-Like a big hall.

Like, you know, in a castle type of place.

We can have, like, magicians.

You know like what witches and wizards makes potions in?

-Oh, yeah. What is it?

-Have one and drinks coming out of it.

-Cauldron.

-Cauldon?

-Caul-DRON!

Caul...dron.

'To be honest with you, I don't really like wizards and witches'

and whatnot. I'm a sport guy and I've not got a clue.

Wizard, witches. Never watched films on stuff like that.

I don't really watch movies, so I'm just clueless at the minute.

If it isn't the traditional princess wedding that I want,

it would upset me, because that's what...

Obviously, it's going to upset me, because that's what I want.

Let's not worry about what the bride wants.

Sean's off to his local golf club, hoping its woods will be

the perfect setting for his forbidden forest themed ceremony.

But best man Liam isn't getting into the spirit of things.

They'll be wearing high heels.

You can't get nettled. They'll have bare skin.

Well, I don't think she's sorted, like, some of things out.

Are you going to come and do some manual labour?

Let's face it, you can't do anything manual.

Can you?

If I got these big trees out the way, it'd be all right,

-it wouldn't be a problem.

-Are you going to cut some down?

With your help, yeah.

Like they could sit in, like, a circle and then, like,

we could have, like, the thing like here

and then, like...like, the owl could fly, like, in.

Do you know what I mean?

It's too much, this, isn't it?

Why?

I think that we'll have to keep looking for different venues.

And there's just one venue on Liam's mind today.

He knows his priority and his priority is the football.

I support Liverpool, who's in the title race.

I've waited all my life for this race, so...

I won't be missing any football.

That's a fact, regardless of who's getting married.

Full day of planning.

Not a cat in hell's chance! It's Manchester City!

-Well...

-Title challenge.

At this moment in time, it shouldn't be the main thing on his mind,

like, cos it's me getting married and stuff, you know what I mean?

'He'd rather go and watch football. What a sad person.'

I'm just getting off, because I can't be arsed

-with this shitty football. All right?

-Go on, then.

-Go on.

-You can stay here.

-See you after.

With the day lost and no help from Liam,

Sean will have to really grow up to plan this wedding.

So, like any grown-up, he's off for a whinge to his dad and stepmum.

Liam's just being an absolute idiot.

-Why?

-Don't let him distract you.

-Because he's just...

All he's arsed about is getting back for, like, football and stuff.

Liam is a bad influence on Sean, and he always has been.

-You're not really into the football side of things, are you?

-No.

And you never have been.

'He's definitely got that female side to him.

'If he could spend three hours in the company of girls'

or spend three hours in the company of lads, he would choose girls.

'And that's just how he's always been, hasn't he?'

-Just focus on what you've got to do and just crack on.

-Mmm.

-That's all you can do, innit?

-Mmm.

The next day, and with no football on,

Liam and Sean are visiting Peckforton Castle in Cheshire.

Not only is it a castle fit for a wizard,

but with 11 acres of forest,

it's spooky enough for a night-time wedding.

With the help of owner, Chris,

they're in search of the perfect spot.

-So, this is one of the spots I thought might be suitable.

-Yeah.

This is a fantastic tree.

-And what we'd have to do is just clear this a little bit...

-Yeah.

And the aisle. You have to think about the aisle.

Where you're going to walk down?

In St Helens, Nicole's showing close friend Rachael her dream venue

and she knows exactly the aisle she wants to be walking down.

I love this church, because it's got a middle aisle.

That's really, really, really good.

What's Sean's idea on church weddings? What does he think?

Sean's half is Catholic, except Sean, I think.

He's a Prosedant.

Protestant!

Oh!

-He's a Prostetant.

-No!

THEY LAUGH

I just love all of it. Like the hymns, the walking down the aisle

and the aisle's big enough for me, Dave and my dad.

-What, Dave your stepdad?

-Yeah.

Yeah, I want them both walking me down the aisle.

Right, shall I practise?

I've always seen myself getting married in a church.

Now you turn round and then I'll just go, "Get off me! I Love you!"

GIGGLING

Ow!

I'm really excited, like, to be stood here

and then, like, my dress will be all be back there like that.

-Everyone'll just be sat watching.

-Yeah, and just like that.

I do! SHE LAUGHS

Back at Peckforton and things are more "I don't"!

Well, from Liam, anyway.

They're off to see the castle and he hates it.

All of it.

-It's shit.

-It's not. What's shit about it?

-It's too much.

-What's good about it? What's good about it?

-It's exactly what I want.

It looks like that like pitch where they do, um,

like all Quidditch and stuff, Quidditch lessons.

You could have long tables here.

Probably like get different lighting and stuff, you know what I mean?

Imagine, like, all smoke and stuff, all and, like, mist and stuff.

Put a few broomsticks on the wall and stuff.

Do you know what I mean? Do you get any idea what I'm trying to say?

He really doesn't.

'This theme, no, no. This...this venue, no, no.

'This forest malarkey, no, no. Everything no.'

It's bullshit to me. It's...it's shite!

Do you get the impression Liam is still struggling to feel the magic?

Back in St Helens, Nicole's visiting Knowsley Hall,

an elegant 16th-century country house,

home to the Earl of Derby and, she's hoping, her wedding reception.

It's just gorgeous, like, just stand here and look at that now.

How perfect it is.

All the guests, like, this is what I want the day to be like.

-Like, maybe a little bit warmer.

-Yeah.

-But like blue skies.

-It just makes the day even nicer, doesn't it?

-Yeah, it does.

And, like, I think, I can imagine all my guests dotted around here

-and waiters going round with, like, champagne and canapes.

-Yeah.

Oh!

Oh, my word!

I love it.

This is how I'd want my tables to be set.

Like fine dining.

I'd want, like, diamond scatters all over the table.

Like, the name badges, just all,

you know, dead diamondy and glitzy and gorgeous.

-What is on the menu?

-OK. So...

-I can't read it.

-Risotto.

Corn and bean risotto with sea bass.

-You wouldn't want that, would you? You don't like fish.

-No.

-Roast beef, seasonal veg, roast potatoes.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Like roast beef.

-Sticky toffee pudding!

-Oh!

-Apart from the starter, it's perfect, isn't it?

-That is perfect!

-What kind of colour scheme?

-Like, when I'm sat here envisioning it,

I see pastel colours.

-What, like peaches?

-No, like pastel pinks, mints, pastel blue.

-Like my mum's bathroom!

-Mm-hm.

With 12 en-suite bedrooms, a formal reading room,

grand staircase and manicured lawns, it's been the perfect venue

for countless weddings and royal visits over the years.

But, as catering manager Viv reveals, it isn't cheap.

You're looking about £16,500 for a Saturday, based on 100 guests.

-How does that sound?

-LAUGHTER

Sean's got £12,000 for everything.

-Including the dress and...?

-Yeah. Dress, suits, venue, flowers.

I'm not getting the wedding that I want.

It's a shame, cos it's such a lovely place.

'Yeah, thanks for that, Viv(!)'

I'm just feeling, like, a bad mood now,

cos I don't think Sean is going to pick anything like this.

Well, at least Sean's venue is old and grand,

but can he book his preferred weekend at such short notice?

What dates will there be available?

I think the only dates we would have

-would be a Tuesday or Wednesday.

-Yeah.

I really like this place and I really, really want this.

But the only thing is that, like, it's the just the days.

But who knows? People might be able to get it off work

and they might not be too fussed about it.

Heart set on the castle, Sean makes his first decision all on his own.

Nicole will be delighted... Well, if it was a different decision.

He's going to book the Wednesday wedding.

I'm not here to plan their time off.

Surely to God, they can find their own time off.

And if it means that much to them, they'll find it.

Sean is absolutely, definitely, 100% sticking to his guns.

Right after he sent a quick text to check the date with Nicole's mum.

So, we'll just have to see how that goes down.

SHE GASPS

What does it say?

"Please save the 23rd of April for Sean and Nicole's wedding."

It's going to be on Wednesday?

Oh, everyone's going to kick off. What we going to do?

Who has a wedding on a Wednesday?!

-You! By the look...

-Why the hell would I want to get married

on a Wednesday when everyone's at work?

I don't want to get married on a Wednesday.

I'm shocked for my availability. For Nicole's availability.

There'll be a wedding without a bride and a bride's mother.

-I'm surprised you're not crying. I'm shocked.

-Nothing to cry about.

I can't go to the wedding, simple as. He'll have to change it.

He's just... I can't believe that he thinks that, like,

anyone can just get a day off work like that.

It's the next day and mum Christine's on the war path.

She's using a day off work to give Sean a piece of her mind about...

having to take a day off work.

Who the hell gets married on a Wednesday, Sean?

What were you thinking?

-I won't be able to come.

-Could you not, you know, swap the days?

-No.

I wouldn't be here if I could, would I? That's the problem.

If I could and you know what I can't get my head around is

the fact that you know that is the one day that Nicole is in work.

Like, if it's her wedding day, I'm sure they, you know...

It's all right you saying that,

but it's not just about you and Nicole. It's a bigger picture, Sean.

I know it's just one important day.

One - that's all I'm asking off anybody.

I don't think we'll get anywhere here, are we?

I'm just hoping you might just think about it and listen.

That was hard, that, seeing Sean.

He seems quite adamant on the date.

And I'm not sure he is going to listen to what I've said.

I hope he does.

Pff! I'm feeling a bit gutted about that, like,

cos that's the sort of place what I had in mind.

Back at home, Christine updates an anxious bride-to-be.

I don't think he understands, if he chooses that venue,

-no-one'll be there.

-I've told him that.

-It'll just be an empty venue.

I couldn't do any more than I've done. I've tried my best and

we'll just have to see what choices he makes and what he decides.

I just don't what I'm supposed to do now, because I can't...

And the other thing I thought of,

we're not, obviously not getting your church wedding.

Cos I've never heard of a church wedding during the week.

NICOLE SNIFFS

That evening, Sean's visiting his dad

and it seems Christine's chat has done the job.

-All right?

-You all right?

-Aye, all right?

-Yeah.

-What's happening?

-I met Nicole's mum and she basically told me...

she said her and Dave cannot get that day off.

So what's the bottom line, then?

Peckforton's out... it's out the question now.

I don't want Christine not to be there for Nic's wedding.

I don't want her to miss that day. I'd rather go somewhere else.

A week in and back to square one. Sean's up early.

Unfortunately, after another day of beer and football,

best man Liam isn't.

So, Liam texted me, he's put, "I'm sorry, I'm too rough.

"Only got in at four. I'll have to do it another day."

I've just basically told him I don't want to see him.

I don't want him to be my best man. Simple as.

He just thinks it's like one big game and...

he's not taking serious one bit, so...

It's just put me off doing the whole thing, to be honest.

Across town, Nicole's been left on her own, too.

My mum's gone away for the week, um, taking the kids to the caravan,

so I've been home alone and it's been horrible.

Because I've had to do... Well, I've not done the dishes,

but I've had to make my own tea,

make my own bath

and, like, make my own breakfast and dinner.

I thought that I would've had my invite.

I thought that the bridesmaid dresses would've been done.

I thought everyone else would have their invite,

because my family is going insane.

They don't even know where they're going!

Well, they might be going back to school - Bolton Independent School.

It's got the right date free and Gandalf himself studied here.

Well, Sir Ian McKellen.

A Liam-less Sean is checking it out.

So, this is set up for a wedding today.

The room is what you make it. It's completely up to you

-how you dress the room and what you do with it.

-Yeah.

Because what the idea is I want it all, like, dark and mystical,

-know what I mean?

-Yeah, atmospheric. Yeah. We can do that for you.

Could you put, like, some sort of, like,

thin fishing line across the top and, like, put candles?

-The room is, like, yours to use.

-Right.

So, with venue hire, catering for 100 people

and some free tables and benches from the school canteen thrown in,

Sean goes ahead and books the school for his reception.

All for £3,100.

Without his best man there to question his decisions,

Sean's finally cracking on.

He heads 20 minutes north, to Rivington Park,

in search of a forest venue for his evening ceremony.

I'm glad Liam's not here at the minute, cos...

he doesn't know what he's on about anyway, so...

it's probably best just being here on my own.

But it'd be perfect if we had it here.

It's just whether or not they can let me have it.

A grand later, and Sean's booked a path in a park for his ceremony.

Magic!

Back at the barbers,

Sean's using his creative cuts to conjure up some guests.

I can't cut straight, really. Oh, that'll do!

Just going to stain it, like, with a tea bag to make it look old.

Don't even know if this is what you do.

Yeah, he's making them look old,

or like someone's spilled tea on them, whichever.

HE LAUGHS

Oh, that looks bad, that.

Imagine if I sent that! She'd be like, "What the...?"

Sean has arranged for a local psychic,

who knows nothing about his wedding plans,

to tell Nicole all about his wedding plans.

-Hi, there.

-Hi. Sean's sent me. I've come to read your fortune.

Oh! Whoo! Come in.

This man in your life, OK,

-he's got funny ways of dealing with things.

-Yeah.

And other people will be left

scratching their head thinking, "What is he doing?"

She's good. She's very good.

-Let me look.

-Don't open it.

-I won't open it.

Get a little bit of ribbon or something.

-See, that looks better, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

Always need a girl's touch, don't you?

I think you're going to be shocked at...

how well he's done, actually.

-Because he's thought of every little last detail.

-Has he?

I've not looked at one dress.

-Have you been in any dress shops?

-No.

I'm getting a feeling, a feeling that's a bit bizarre.

Really?

The place is somewhere where it's usually just very bare,

and I'm seeing something really strange.

-Oh, God! What is it?

-Like, there's no chairs.

-Oh, don't say that, Jo.

-Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm wrong.

But that's what I'm seeing.

Before we finish, I've got one more thing for you.

It's from Sean and he'd like you to open it.

Oh! Thank you!

"Nicole Turner, you are getting married on the...

"..on the 25th April. Can't wait to see you.

-"Love you millions and trillions, Sean."

-Aww!

Oh, I'm just so thankful that it's not the Wednesday,

because I really thought it was going to be on a Wednesday

and I couldn't go because I was at work!

Oh! I'm so excited now.

Over the next few days, and still without a best man,

Sean gets down to some serious wedding planning.

First up, decorations.

So, these are your broomsticks. Your black cat.

You've got your cauldrons. So altogether that's £73.18, please.

Right. Cheers for that, mate. Thanks.

Then, on to ring delivery.

And then he comes, and rings delivered.

Prices start from £350.

And finally broomsticks.

Finished off with a dash of hairspray. Hm!

It's been a week since Sean fell out with his best man.

But with only six days until the wedding,

Liam's finally showing some interest.

Well, in one aspect of it.

So, what do you want? Do you want a stag do or not?

Do you want me to carry on with this

or discontinue with this planning thing?

I'm not happy to go through this and not have a stag do out of it, lad.

-What do you want?

-Are you blackmailing me, lad?

Yeah. If we don't have a stag do, I won't be coming with you today.

I don't want a stag do, lad.

I just need you to help me out a bit more.

-I know I need a good drink Sunday.

-But I don't...

I need a stag do Sunday. That's what I need.

-OK.

-So, Sunday it is then? Five ton.

Four.

Five, no, £500, and you've got to through the day.

Shake my hand or I'll discontinue this planning.

So, Sean's got his best man back, but it's cost him £500

for a stag do he didn't even want.

In Liverpool, Nicole's taking her mum, aunties and bridesmaids,

Jess and Mel, to see her dream dress.

-Hi.

-Hi. Hiya!

I want like a subtle dress, like classy and elegant but still wow!

Yeah.

Out of the whole day, I would say that this is the most important

and the hardest for him.

I don't like that material. You know the silk ones.

-No, it's satin, silk, don't like it.

-No.

That one's just way too plain.

-I really love that one.

-Do you?

-Mmm.

I know, but it's got no sleeves.

I want sleeves because when your arms go together and you have that fat there...

-You can see skin pinches.

-I hate it. It's disgusting.

It's vile.

I need to have sleeves because I won't feel comfortable in myself.

Imagine if he got it right. There's still that possibility

-I might get a nice dress.

-He could surprise you.

'I think we'll see tears and tantrums'

and she might even fall to the floor.

She's been known to do that before when she couldn't have something.

-Oh, God. Sean has got such a big job.

-I know.

He certainly does and he's also in Liverpool, to find something perfect

for that special someone in his life.

What I'm intending to get is a light-coloured suit.

-Yes.

-White shirt, thin purple tie. Something that fits me nice.

Oh, that's nice.

-Yes.

-Yeah.

Sean may be splashing out on Liam's suit but he's already hired his own.

I think I'm going to rent mine.

I'm not going to wear it again, so there's no point.

Oh, look how baggy these are.

But, yeah, I just wish he'd stop poxing about with them pants.

They fit him fine, he's just moaning.

One £300 designer suit later and Liam's a very happy best man.

Across town, Nicole has no idea

the budget for her dress has just plummeted.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

-Oh!

-Oh, that's nice, that.

Oh, it's amazing.

It's just strange her being in... like, she looks like a woman.

My little girl. All grown up.

Oh, I like it with a veil.

This is my dream dress. Definitely. I love it.

I feel like a princess in this one.

I'm thinking I'm not going to get a dress like this.

What are you going to do if he gets you a coloured dress?

-Not white or ivory?

-Like, black?

-Yeah.

Darker blue? Red? Burgundy?

Still not dress shopping, Sean's going all medieval.

We've got all the capes with all the hoods, all the full-length capes.

The idea was that I was going to get people to wear them at the ceremony

because it'll keep them warm while they're outside, as well.

So, we've got the green one, the darker purple one.

That's nice, that one, I think.

-Oh!

-Love a cape.

-Suits you, sir. It suits you!

-It does look all right.

You do look all right. Looks like you're going to disappear.

It's black magic now.

He may want to disappear.

With 100 guests to cloak, it's going to be pricey.

If you want one, you're looking about £30...

You get 30 of them? You going to spend 30 x £30 on that?

This is a fantastic day.

Don't be stupid, love.

My fantastic day is go and get on the piss and go and watch the boys.

Not dressing up as capes. Come on.

The budget dwindling, Sean needs to compromise on his vision.

I'd put the bridesmaids in them. That's what I would do.

Two green, two red? £585.

OK?

Things are taking more shape now.

-We just need to crack on with the rest of it now, don't we?

-Yeah.

-Back best mates now, are we?

-Best mates.

-Oh!

It's the day before the hen,

and Nicole and her bridesmaids are awaiting instruction.

-Hello?

-'Hello, Jess.'

Tomorrow, hen do, yeah?

Yeah.

A minibus, 3pm, Nic's mum's.

What do you need to wear? Like, I don't know.

Summat fancy. Yeah, fancy, yeah. Dressed up.

The next morning and following Liam's instructions to dress up,

the girls are doing just that.

This is the first thing apart from the day that we've found out about.

Like a clue of what they've been up to.

Well, we'll know when we get there, won't we?

They won't have to wait long.

Sean's transport has arrived - times two.

Oh, no, there's chaos!

Looks like they've double booked us for whatever reason.

So, how many can fit in that one?

-16.

-And how many can you fit in that one?

-16.

-So 32?

-And how many is there of you?

Well, there's five so far and then one coming. So six.

I don't understand.

Oh, what...?

There's 32 seats.

-So he's double booked.

-Yeah.

So you need to go and tell someone.

He's obviously not on the ball.

So, now, we've had to let somebody down and I felt awful about it.

Not a great start to the hen.

But with the girls finally on board,

Sean's organised a day out in Liverpool.

And if the girls thought the transport was messy,

wait till they see what he's got in mind.

If you just look up there...

We're paintballing?

-I'm not going paintballing.

-No. I'm not going.

-You're lying.

-I swear to God I'm not going paintballing.

-No. I'm not doing it.

-Have you seen what we've got on?

Do you know what's annoyed me? Liam. "Get dressed up."

Like, what? So, basically they just want to make a fool of us.

So, that's it.

If I had trainers and stuff on I'd do it.

-I know.

-I'd be in there right now.

It's Liam that's ruined it, by telling us to wear dressy clothes.

Because we'd happily do it if we were dressed.

Exactly. I just want to go home.

Two hours after leaving for her hen night, Nicole's back home.

Back in Liverpool, and none the wiser,

Sean's turned up for his stag.

And for the boy who hates football and beer, Liam's organised...

Go on, guess!

He's just organised a full day out, just drinking

and watching football. I couldn't think of anything worse.

I'm out here drinking ale and watching football.

What more do I want?

So it's ended up being my stag do, not his. It's been my day, this.

I'm not having a good time.

And I'm just worried what the wedding's going to be like.

A few glasses of wine later, though,

and Sean's plan has Nicole back on the bus

and out to a local restaurant.

It's just like, "Oh, let's go for a meal. Let's go to The Frog."

Looks like she'll take some winning over.

I don't like the food, though.

Like, I don't like anything on that menu.

Like, duck leg. Why would you want to eat a duck leg?

I mean, I'm not going to lie. After seeing everything

-what's happened today...

-It's not professional.

My hopes aren't high for this wedding.

I am going to be honest with you. You know I will.

-I'm not expecting big things.

-I'm not.

It's funny you should say that. Liam's booked a little surprise.

THEY LAUGH

-Hello, ladies.

-Hi!

-Hello!

Why's he dressed like a wizard? Are you going to strip?

No. I'm not a stripper. Right.

What I'm going to do is I'm going to go round individually.

If you don't guess my name correctly, you've got to do a shot.

-Can you guess my name?

-Adam.

Nope! Take a shot.

I just don't understand what that was about.

No, neither do I.

Just a dwarf in a wig.

You've got to down a jager bomb.

I think, obviously, it's a hint to the wedding.

Or he might be trying to throw you off.

Throwing me off.

Probably best to trust your own instincts, Nicole.

Just three days before the wedding and, with the budget dwindling,

the boys have finally found time to go dress shopping.

-Hi.

-Hi. You all right?

What are you looking for? What kind of styles are you looking for?

I like, like, a long type of dress.

You know, where it, like, falls at the bottom...

-Yeah. So you've got a train.

-And a few diamantes on.

Right. A bit embellished. A little sparkle?

-Yeah.

-This one is gorgeous.

-So, what's that?

-That's a cowl neck, so it fits really lovely on a girl.

I hope it don't fit on a man.

I hope these are not for unisex, as well.

And then, that, at the front, is really lovely.

I like that, you know.

Sorry, did Liam just say he liked something?

I like that, you know.

He did!

And he's got a plan to save Sean some more money.

But, do you hire dresses here or is it just buying?

Yeah, we can hire.

There are only a certain amount of dresses that we hire out.

Do you like that one, Sean? Do you like it or not?

Yeah, it is nice, that, yeah.

Spurred on by Liam's enthusiasm, it's not long before Sean's

whittled his selection of dresses down to two.

And the first one looks very familiar.

This is my dream dress.

Nicole might actually get her dream dress.

-Now, do you want to hear my thing first?

-Go on.

I think I don't like it because it's too wide at the top.

I don't like that.

Oh!

No, I'm not too keen on that.

No.

It's down to the last dress.

And for the girl who wants to hide her shoulders...

What do you think of this one?

I like that one, yeah. This one I like.

That is nice, that. Really nice.

Would your princess look nice in that?

-She would like nice in it, yeah.

-Rate it out of ten.

-Eight.

-Point five. Not nine.

-8.5.

-OK.

Never one to waste money on silly things like the bride,

Liam's pushing on with his hire plan.

I think we should rent it, rather than buy it.

She's never going to wear it again.

I don't see a point in a buying a dress, to be honest, because...

you're never going to wear it again.

Pop the question on how much for rent.

So how much is it to rent that dress?

For £570, I'll do you the dress and the veil.

Is that a veil what she's got on the back of her head?

Yeah.

Lad, we can go and get some curtains and just add one of them on to it.

Don't worry about that.

Every girl needs a veil for her wedding day.

Not for a witch and wizard one, though, do they?

£550 and we'll call it a day, innit, lad.

50 quid we save and you can buy me my shoes for my suit.

You know he's not even bought my shoes for my suit yet?

I'm his best man.

Speaking of shoes...

So, these are the designer pair.

The only ones we've got in a size five and they are £195,

but I will do them cheaper than that for you.

You budget £30 on my shoes, but you'll pay £195.

Do them for £100. At least she's got them, then.

She can wear them afterwards, can't she?

£650 later and Sean commits to a pair of shoes and a hired gown.

But Liam's not sure he's made the right decision -

and he doesn't mean the dress.

Don't you think you've rushed into it?

-At your age.

-Not really. I love her.

You've been with her two years, haven't you?

Doesn't matter how long you're with someone.

If you think you're ready for it, you're ready for it, aren't you?

-Are you ready for this?

-Yeah. Course I am.

-Don't look like it.

-Been ready a long time.

-Have you? How long?

Since I met her.

-You wanted to marry her the day you met her?

-Oh, aye.

Wow! Who knows? Maybe he's a bit jealous.

The next day, Sean's meeting up with three of the bridesmaids,

Mel, Jess and Amber, to pick their dresses.

There's nothing else left on his list

and next to nothing left in the budget.

I might as well tell you the bad news first.

I've got £150 left.

For seven bridesmaid dresses?

Sean!

-Oh, my God!

-What have you spent the money on?

You'll have to wait and see.

What colours are we looking for?

That colour purple. Or maybe, like, black.

-Black?

-Yeah.

So, Nicole will think we're going to a funeral?

-No, the black's nice.

-I don't think Nic will like that.

This is where your budget is, Sean. This is where we have to look.

-Sale rail.

-Have a look then.

Sale rail.

What about these?

It's like the only thing in your budget

and it's the only one that fits in the budget.

Well, try them on and we'll have a look.

Right. OK. Oh, my God. These are huge!

What size are these?

-Not bad!

-Are you joking?

-Can put a nice belt on them!

They make us look huge.

Have you seen that? I look pregnant. Sean. Serious.

We look like the three wicked witches of the west.

-What are we going to do?

-I'd rather put a bin bag on, Sean.

-Oh...

-BLEEP.

Right. Let's just ask this question.

How much was Liam's suit?

Well, with the alterations, about £300.

-For one suit?

-He had to get alterations for his suit.

£300 for Liam's suit. Is he joking?

-We get £21.

-I can't breathe.

£300?

Five minutes before the store closes and, with no time or money left,

Sean is left with no choice but to buy the dresses.

I don't know what Nicole's going to say about this.

She's obviously not going to be happy, like,

but she's not planning the wedding, is she?

So, she's not in my shoes.

-It's awful.

-I won't feel like a bridesmaid.

And as well, she's got to look back on photos of that being her

-wedding day.

-It's her and Sean's special day.

It's meant to be like the best day of their lives and...

She'll just see the colour and, like, have a heart attack.

I know she will. Black - it's a funeral.

It's the day before the wedding and the dress that Sean hired

two days ago is ready to be picked up.

OK, Nicole. You're going to go through to the changing room.

Oh, God! Oh! It's there, oh!

-Mum. You're going to go and sit on the chaise.

-Thank you.

This was the one thing that I wanted right for her.

If everything else was a farce, it was horrendous,

it was out there completely, that was fine,

but I wanted her dress to be right for her.

The big thing for her.

What do you think?

Oh!

I just don't like how it's, like, high.

I just don't know what to say.

It's just like, it's not a thing that I would have picked.

I hate that bit of my arms so that's why I've always said

I wouldn't, like, I wanted little straps.

Right. Are you happy to try it on?

-Yeah.

-OK.

I don't like it.

Oh, it's beautiful. What don't you like?

-I just don't like it.

-It's not what you chose

but you knew you wasn't going to get what you chose, didn't you?

And if I didn't think you looked beautiful, I would tell you.

You look beautiful.

I just don't feel nice.

Honestly. Trust me. You're going to look stunning.

Oh!

The veil and designer shoes are on but there's one last detail to add.

This dress is actually a hire dress,

so it's not something you're going to keep.

You keep your shoes.

The shoes are yours, but he's hired the dress.

That's a joke, that. It's a bad joke.

So, I can't even keep my wedding dress?

I don't even want to do it.

I can't... What have they spent the money on?

What have they spent the money on? Really?

It's ridiculous.

You know, people do get it out the bag and have a little look

and try it on on special anniversaries and things like that.

So, she's not going to have that.

How much has he hired it for?

For £600, including the veil.

So, they couldn't pay another...

There wasn't another £700 in the budget to buy the bride a dress?

Not when they came to me, no.

And it seems news travels fast,

especially from Nicole's bridesmaids.

Liam's suit was £300.

Oh! Gutted.

I am angry. Course I am, because I wanted a dress.

I think it looks lovely.

It's fine.

That's one of the first things that they should have got.

Definitely before Liam's suit. Like, it's my wedding, not Liam's.

It's the morning of the wedding and Sean, along with his father Steve

and friend James are preparing the wedding venue.

Game on.

OK, we'd better...

I'll tell you what, this is a classic dogging place, innit?

This is the point where it is.

It's not the doggers he should worry about.

Oh, don't piss on me stuff, please.

It's the doggies.

Oh, there's dog shit there!

Meanwhile, Nicole and her bridesmaids still don't know

he's planned an evening wedding and they've been waiting since dawn.

It's quarter past 12.

It's going to be another three hours before we're ready.

It's like we need to know time, don't we?

It'll be three o'clock before we know it.

DOORBELL RINGS Oh! Whoo!

As if by magic, a delivery has arrived.

Sean sent me a card.

"To my future wife, these past three weeks have been so hard without you.

"By the way, your car is picking you up..."

Oh, God! What's up with that?

"..at 6.15."

-What?

-"I love you so much, Sean."

So, that's five hours.

A wedding is a day, not...

I just want to ring him and say, "What you doing?"

I don't understand how he's spent 12 grand for four hours.

Thank God he didn't pay for that dress

because I'm not wearing it for four hours.

No wonder he hired it.

Right. Remember, we're not getting stressed today. We're enjoying it.

I don't feel like it's going to be a day to remember any more,

because it's, well, it's not a day, it's a night.

With no idea he's ruined his bride's special day before it's even

started, Sean's arrived at his reception venue, just in time

for a call from the bridesmaids.

-Sean.

-Yeah?

-It's Kirsty.

Oh, you all right?

Sean, Nicole's just got a card saying that she's getting picked up.

What are we doing?

How we getting there, Nicole's mum and the bridesmaids?

Um. Kirsty's rang me, the bridesmaid,

and they're saying how we going to get there?

-How are the bridesmaids going to get there?

-Yeah.

How have you arranged they get there?

-Haven't arranged nothing.

-What?

Did I just hear you say you've not arranged nothing.

-No.

-Right.

Right, how's the rest of the guests getting there?

There's coach getting sorted.

£10 each.

-He doesn't know.

-Wow!

-6:00 from...

-The York.

-The York.

Why does he know nothing?

All right.

Kind of forgot about them, didn't you?

I'm fuming. I'm actually fuming.

It's not even funny.

You won't be happy. The bridesmaids and you are getting a coach.

-So, we're not going in a nice car?

-We're going with the rest.

-And all the guests are going to see the bridesmaids...

-Before the wedding.

-That doesn't make sense.

-No, it doesn't.

-I'm just going to laugh.

-This is terrible.

My daughter's getting married, I don't care.

-And the rain.

-My dress is beautiful.

-At night.

-I wonder if he's got umbrellas.

-Do you think you'll speak to Liam when you see him?

-No.

You're not going to speak to him all night?

No. Everyone's under instruction not to.

An hour into setting up his reception, Sean's spotted

a mistake with the rows of tables.

There should be four.

The original plan was supposed to have four different tables

laid out, but they've been laid out, like, in three tables.

Let's get all these back off now. Get the cloths back up.

I'd have just left it, me.

Shall we just leave it like this, Liam?

It's entirely up to you, lad. Just let me know what you're doing.

All right, I'll just leave it.

As the rain starts, so does the waiting game

and, five hours of make-up and hair later,

it's time for Nicole to see the black bridesmaid dresses

Sean's chosen for her witchy wedding.

-It's not ideal, but it is, you do...

-Suits you.

You all look gorgeous. I swear. You look gorgeous!

-Do you like them?

-Yeah. Oh!

With Sean's £25 dresses a success,

Nicole can finally reveal her rented gown.

-Oh, my God.

-Oh!

You look beautiful. Gorgeous.

Oh, my God, Nic, that is stunning.

Do you like it?

It's amazing.

You look like a Grecian goddess.

Sean just needs to quit while he's ahead.

Sadly, he hasn't done that.

No, it's one of them Tudor monk coats.

What? Oh, God!

Whoa!

I'm not lying! You just look amazing! I love them!

I'm trying to get a theme from it and it just,

they look like a cult or something.

CHANTING

The wait is over and the one car that Sean booked may look

quite normal, but there's something else to be said of the driver.

-Your car is waiting, madam.

-Oh!

Look.

Who is it?

Yeah, that famous wizard, Father Christmas.

-That is gorgeous.

-Enter at your peril.

It's been a long day already and the heavens have opened.

Perfect for an outdoor wedding.

Bit over it, to be honest.

-You're a bit over it?

-Yeah.

-You're weird, you.

-Just bored, Dad. I just want to get there.

I'm starving. I'm hungry.

Come on.

They're arriving at quarter past. They'll be there before us.

Yeah, might go to a bar.

As the guests arrive at the outdoor ceremony, so does more rain.

Very emotional. And look at this rain.

And the bridesmaids are yet again wearing inappropriate footwear.

I'm having a terrible time.

As predicted by the tarot cards, Sean's not arranged any chairs,

so the guests can only stand and wait in the downpour.

Bet the boys are glad they're late, as they arrive

only moments before the bride-to-be.

Three long weeks, £12,000.

One relationship pushed to the limits,

and that's just the best man.

Oh, she's here now. Stand here now, lad.

-What, like this?

-There.

What will this traditional bride make

of her forbidden-forest wedding?

Oh, my God! I'm not looking up. I'm not looking up.

-Are you nervous?

-No.

I can't look up, otherwise I'll cry if I see Sean.

MUSIC: "Magic" by Coldplay

-Hiya.

-Hiya.

OK? Do you want to come over here?

Yeah.

Welcome, everybody, who joins us this rather damp but magical

evening for the celebration of the wedding of Sean and Nicole.

It's truly a personal event.

Sean and Nicole, do you offer your love unconditionally

to be faithful towards each other

and put each other's welfare at the front of your minds?

We do.

Vows exchanged, it's time for a special delivery.

Oh, Jesus!

HE WHISTLES

WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

I present to you your bride and groom,

Mr and Mrs Davies.

APPLAUSE

As the guests make their way to the reception...

It's a bit poo about the weather but it's been nice.

It doesn't matter. Honestly, it doesn't matter.

The weather doesn't matter, but there's still something

on Nicole's mind.

-I'm fuming.

-Why?

Liam's suit, £300.

Don't start.

In the warm and out of the rain, it's time for a catch up.

-It's wet through.

-I am, babe. Nothing we can do though, is there?

Doesn't this car remind you of the red light district?

Doesn't it? But, babe, I love that down there.

That is so lovely.

The forest, it's not like a registered place, you know,

where you can get married, so tomorrow at 1:00,

we'll be going to St George's Hall in Liverpool

and that's where we'll do our signing, you know, sign.

What do I wear, my wedding dress?

Yeah, probably. I don't know.

But this has to be back by 4:00 in Oldham.

-Can you not just put like a nice dress on?

-Yeah.

As daylight fades, it's time for Nicole to see her reception.

I mean, that looks like my old school from here.

-Just trust me.

-OK.

-OK?

-Yeah.

Sean may have chosen a school hall for his celebrations,

but there's nothing ordinary about this magical reception.

Oh!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, it's amazing!

Look at all them candles.

Oh, I can't believe it. I just can't believe it.

Daviesdor!

Oh, my God, he's made everybody wands out of twigs.

Oh, that is so cute.

-Has he made these himself?

-Yeah.

-Well, that is...

-Because, look, that duct tape.

Oh, my God, it's me and Sean.

-No, it's not.

-Yeah, it is!

That is so weird.

Oh, my God!

I've always said I would hate a themed wedding.

And when you think of, like, witches and wizards, as well,

you wouldn't put it in a wedding, would you, at all?

He's really, really, really proved himself.

Ah! Babe, it's amazing.

Do you like it?

Babe I can't believe you've done this.

But can I just ask one question? Who's sat there?

-Liam.

-Next to me?

Think fast, Sean.

-Well, no, next to me.

-Right, so Liam...

And then the bridesmaids.

Aw!

Phew!

With his friends and family cast under the spell

of his wizardy wedding, it seems Sean's hard work has paid off.

I'm just, like, so amazed with what you've done.

I didn't think I'd be able to do this.

-Oh...

-Know what I mean?

-Well, I didn't.

But...

And as guests are sorted into their houses, the party can finally begin.

Can't believe Sean's done it. I can't.

It's just beautiful.

It's amazing. I didn't think it would be this good.

Even with Nicole and the bridesmaids keeping their distance from Liam,

he's still not safe.

Disappointed, Liam, not putting parents on the top table.

It's disgraceful.

It's nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me.

-It's all been to do with you.

-Oh, don't bang on.

We're always there for each other, do you know what I mean?

That's what mates do, I suppose.

On a scale to ten, to rate myself as a best man,

I'd put myself down as a three.

I'll rate myself on a three.

Come on, wife.

Me and Liam are just the same. He's still my mate.

We are very proud of Sean, definitely.

He's done a good job and he's made my daughter happy

and that's all I've said from day one.

To do something like this, which is different and it's quite

breathtaking, I think, is a massive, massive praise towards yourself.

I'd like you to raise your wands for somebody who's quite

a special person, that's Sean.

CHEERING

It has been really good.

I think I've, I feel like I've gotten a lot stronger

-about things now.

-Yeah.

I feel like I'm going to do more for you.

Are you?

Like, make my own breakfasts and stuff.

Ah, thanks!

And do the washing.

Next time...

To the tattoo shop on the right-hand side.

..tattoo addict Adam plans an unconventional wedding

at a convention...

I don't want to look at any other venue.

..when all Danni wants is her happily-ever-after

in the grounds of a beautiful castle.

Will you marry me?

Will Adam balls it up...

I'm getting Danni's name on my left testicle.

..manage to pull off the perfect day in trying times...

If you get depressed about it, you're not going to get better

and I ain't going nowhere.

..or will it all end in tears?

Shut up!

# You've got the magic touch

# It makes me glow so much

# It casts a spell

# It rings a bell

# The magic touch... #