Elle & David Don't Tell the Bride

Every girl likes to take control of her wedding.

So what happens when she has no say on her big day?

Ah, they are awful!

We're not doing it.

Don't Tell The Bride is back.

This is ridiculous.

As ever, the grooms are in charge.

I want there to be a donkey at the wedding.

I'm going to look lovely on our big day.

But with £12,000 to spend

and just three weeks to throw the wedding of their dreams...

Tell my mum I love her! Ah!

..have the boys pushed themselves too far?

Oh, my God!

You're fired!

With more shocking,

more outrageous,

and more daredevil weddings than ever before,

will there be a happy ever after?

This is not the thing you get wrong the day before your wedding.

Will true love save the day?

Mum, what is that? Mum, what is that?

Or is it a countdown to disaster?

Three, two, one!

Tonight, country boy David...

Look at that thing. That is huge!

Dreams of floating away on his wedding day.

I think I'm doing this.

But will his demanding bride-to-be, Elle...

-I'm disappointed that I'm in a taxi.

-You're such a diva!

..be on board?

I think it's a bit of a piss-take, to be honest.

I am disappointed.

Can David fulfil his promise of a dream day...

She'll be surprised and it will impress her.

..and design a fairy-tale gown?

-Oh, no.

-It's short.

Or will his sky-high wedding...

If I don't like them,

we'll put them all in the garden, then we'll burn them.

..come crashing down?

Mum, what is that? Mum, what is that?

Laidback David met his feisty fiance, Elle,

just over a year ago at a friend's party.

-Was that good?

-Yeah.

I had a massive infected scab on my arm from a very poor tattoo,

and Elle walked up to me and told me it was rank.

I was like, "Ugh, who's that skank?"

I love the fact that she had that edge to come

and just take the piss and it made me like her even more.

I was in love instantly.

The first night we sat and had a proper chat,

I felt like I'd known him for years.

He's quite...sensitive

and it was just nice someone showing,

like, a bit of interest, I suppose.

Despite an awkward start,

22-year-old David knew Elle was the girl of his dreams.

I came home the next day and said to my mum,

"I've never felt like this. I'm absolutely hypnotised by her."

She'll just be able to say the slightest thing

and put the biggest smile on my face.

I've felt so at ease, so happy with my life.

Six months later, the Cambridge couple moved in together

and David popped the question.

I proposed on our kitchen floor when Elle was putting away our shopping.

I was shouting at him to bring round the bags.

I popped round the corner right behind her.

She turned round and there I was.

He just got on one knee and said, "Will you marry me?"

And I was like, "Yeah. Yeah." I felt really embarrassed.

I didn't know what to say.

The young lovebirds now live with David's parents

whilst they save for a place of their own.

He brought me in here and I was like,

"Bloody hell, is this your house?"

And he was like, "Yeah." I was like, "Ooh."

David moved to this house aged ten

when his mum, Jill, met his stepdad, Chris.

It was like walking into a dream.

I ran out into the countryside.

And his love of the outdoors is a passion he still shares

with a close-knit group of friends, including Ralph and best man, Eddie.

But this laidback, country-loving lifestyle

is a world away from Elle's.

His family, they're very, very different to mine.

I can't even explain it. Chalk and cheese.

We always mess around and say we're like the family off Shameless.

Oh, that was a nightmare.

My family are loud, lairy. We say what we think.

I've never heard a daughter call her mum a slag

and then have a laugh and joke about it.

I think you need to pipe down a little bit there.

Yeah, I love my family.

We're all really close, so it's really nice.

Despite her happy home life, 21-year-old Elle

had a troublesome youth,

mainly because she was a bit of a troublesome youth.

I was quite feisty and, like, fighting all the time.

I was a bit naughty.

She has a very short fuse, but I can't knock her for it.

That's all she's ever known.

I know I can calm her down,

but I know that it's pretty hard for anybody else to even try.

While Elle may have a fiery relationship with her mum,

David can't live without his.

-Hello, my dear! You all right?

-Hello, my darling!

-Good day?

Yeah, not bad.

David's mum, she mollycoddles him a lot.

I'm a mummy's boy, I have to admit it.

I have always been really close with my mum.

She babies David and, whereas my mum's been like,

"No, you get on with it."

It's made me lazy, I can't deny that.

I think I am quite used to always having someone

that's been there to sort things out for me.

And now, lucky David has two women to look after him.

Thank you, baby.

I do everything for him.

The fact that she looks after me and she's so willing to do that,

that just shows how much of a big heart she has.

I'm a care support worker for a charity.

It's really, really hard work.

Since living with David, a day's work is never done for Elle.

When I have to come home after a shift and tidy up,

that's when I get annoyed at David.

He relies on me a little bit too much sometimes.

He don't do anything unless I tell him.

Pisses me off.

Well, they do say opposites attract.

We're very different people

but I think that's what makes us work so well together

is cos we fill the opposing bits of people.

-Mm-hm.

-Like, I'm incredibly relaxed and Elle's very tightly wound.

As she has looked after me so much

and I know she will continue to,

I'd love to give her that one day

where there's absolutely nothing she's had to worry about.

So, David, who's never planned a thing in his life,

will have a job on his hands planning a whole wedding.

This is going to be very testing.

He needs to be like, more like, oomph, get things done.

I hope he will become more organised and better with money

and manage it and stuff.

I think that's what he wants to prove to me more than anything,

so, let's hope he does it right.

Is it heavy?

Yes, it is heavy.

It's time for David and Elle to say goodbye.

SHE MOANS

-I love you.

-Love you too.

Behave yourself.

I will.

Elle will be moving out for the next three weeks.

HORN BEEPS

I couldn't look at him when I was saying bye to him...

..cos I knew that I'd cry and I didn't want to cry.

It's going to be really hard being apart for three weeks.

I don't know how I'm going to manage.

I'm going to have to take it day by day.

For Elle, it's back to mum Claire's house,

where she'll be sharing a bedroom with younger sister Chloe.

I'm looking forward to it.

Even though she's not, I am.

Do you want the milk?

-Yeah, please, honey. How are you feeling?

-All right.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, I'm fine!

All right. All right!

Christ, it's already started, innit!

Is this one mine?

I love Elle, but she throws hissy fits, she is a total queenie.

-How was David when you left him?

-Yeah, he was all right.

-Yeah?

-He's a bit more upset than me cos I'm...

-Was he?

..trying to be hard.

Ah. I'm just worried that you're going to have a few hissy fits.

-I will, but I'm all right at the minute.

-OK.

I think so long as you try and remain focused

on the fact that it's only three weeks.

-Only(?) Yeah.

-That's all.

I think she's a lot more upset than she's making out.

She's just trying to put on a show.

Back in the country, it's day one of wedding planning.

-All right?

-Oh, is one of them for me?

-It certainly is.

With Elle gone, David is surprisingly quick off the mark.

Best man, Eddie, has arrived,

and with the tea made, David's keen to share his vision.

Let's get cracking!

A big bubble, which should be

at the top, is a hot-air balloon.

I want to get married in a hot-air balloon.

I think that's something that you'd...you'd never forget that,

can you?

I mean, actually saying your vows, putting the ring on

and just being able to look across the world

that we now have to share together.

Theme - insane tea party.

Lanterns. Candles. Teacups.

What do you think when I say "insane tea party"?

Alice In Wonderland.

Yeah, it's a given.

I think David's plans are a bit mad.

He is kind of winging it with the air balloon.

The weather wise it might go tits up.

Yep, hot-air balloon flights are notoriously weather-dependent.

Well, I can hear it coming but I can't see it yet!

David needs to find out if his grand plan will even get off the ground.

-Look at that thing.

-Oh, God.

-That is huge!

I've come to meet a gentleman called Gary,

which is a friend of one of my work colleagues.

I'm hoping he's going to be able to sort out a hot-air balloon!

David and Eddie are supposed to be taking a test flight.

Yeah, me, mate!

I think it's going to be good fun.

Good fun?

I'm slightly more worried than I assumed I would be.

Yeah.

But the windy weather means this balloon is going nowhere.

Not a great start for a groom who's based his entire wedding ceremony

on a balloon flight.

In my eyes, you wouldn't have thought it's that windy.

-But if this is too windy to go up in...

-No.

..it means it's got to be a pretty perfect day for weather wise.

-Hi, Gary?

-Hello there, David. How are you? You all right?

-Great. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

-It's a mighty bit of kit, isn't it?

-It certainly is.

The balloon needs near-perfect conditions before it can take off.

But with his heart set on it, David is determined to push on.

So long as the wind is below the ten knots and it's dry...

-Mm-hm.

-..then we can do it so long as, you know,

-we've not got the gusty winds...

-Absolutely.

..and that we'll have a three-point tether.

Anchoring the balloon to the ground by ropes is David's best chance

of getting airborne on the day.

It'll be very rigid as it goes up and down,

-cos it'll be on...

-Nice and smooth though.

-Yes.

-Yes, that's right.

-Keep the bride calm.

Absolutely, yes.

I just hope she's not scared of heights.

Yeah, I'm also hoping that.

So the only thing I have to worry about now is the wind.

What?! The one thing you can't control or predict!

-I think I'm doing this.

-Yeah.

-Get back here tomorrow and...

-Still cool as a cucumber currently.

I'm sure I'll be a fiery pepper by the end of it.

Definitely be something to remember, no doubt about it.

Yeah, it's going to leave a massive impression.

Well, let's hope it's for the right reasons!

The next morning, while David dreams of floating up, up and away,

Elle's up and at 'em!

She's brought sister Chloe and bridesmaid Abbie

to see her dream venue.

I've always wanted it in a barn

cos I love, like, all vintage stuff and...

My mum's friend had her wedding here a little while ago

and this is the place I thought of straightaway

that I'd love to get married in.

Bassmead Manor is a 300-year-old converted barn,

ideal for an intimate, romantic, indoor,

feet-firmly-on-the-ground wedding.

-Aw, look.

-Wow.

-I love it!

I'd just have fairy lights everywhere,

like, all round these bits.

-What are they called? Beams?

-Beams, yeah.

-Yeah.

All round the beams.

Jam jars all the way down.

Then I'd have Nicky's little girl throwing rose petals.

I just want a simple ceremony.

I don't want anything like huge and over the top.

I think this is just right.

It's cosy and it feels homely, doesn't it?

I'd love it to be somewhere like this for Elle. Yeah, definitely.

But only time can tell. SHE LAUGHS

-I'm not a stately home girl, am I, really?

-No.

-Huh, uh!

-So it's a good job

the boys haven't come to see a stately ho... Oh, look, they have.

Still, this one holds happy memories for David.

We're at Shuttleworth College. It's where I used to come to college

and it is the venue that I dreamt about.

And this country-loving boy is after a picture-perfect location

with plenty of outdoor space to host his hot-air balloon wedding

followed by, wait for it, a Mad Hatter's tea party reception.

Always good to mix things up a bit on your wedding day.

And I want to be able to see nothing but the world that I love around me.

Time to meet facility manager Andrew to discuss the options.

This area, we do have marquees for weddings during the summer months.

It looks a lot smaller than I remember it being.

Well, will this impress the bride-to-be?

She'll be surprised and it will impress her,

so we're ticking both boxes there.

BLEATING

There's one thing that I need to ask, which is

I'd like to have a hot-air balloon brought in.

-We have had balloons on the estate before...

-Yeah.

..so I don't see there being any real major issues there at all.

-This is my venue.

-Definite choice, yeah?

Yeah, this is the picture I had in my head.

It's a good bit of land to work with, to be honest.

-This has to be it.

-You've got the view. You've got the wildlife...

Ah, it's well nice, isn't it?

I don't want to be outside in the cold, shivering,

because you know that I'm a moany cow and I'll be like,

"Ah, I'm cold, I'm cold," and, "My hair, my hair!"

It's got, like, a woman's touch with all the little details

and flowers and stuff.

It's quite peaceful and quite calming, really homely

and Elle likes things like that.

I'd want jam jars with, like, lace around them.

-What, different sized jam jars?

-Yeah.

If she got this place, I think she would be so happy.

-SHEEP BLEATS

-Sh, quiet, you.

Mind made up, David's off to talk money.

And as he's not using any other facilities,

it should at least be cheap, right?

Right, so we need to get down onto prices, if you would.

If we were just to look if you were organising everything yourself...

-Yep.

-..I would look at a facility hire of £4,000 for the day.

So that's £4,000 for an area of grass in the grounds.

How does that sound to you then, David?

-Um...

-Pricey.

-Way over budget.

-It looks good to me.

-What?!

-Perfect. Well, I'll shake your hand. Congratulations!

Thank you very much.

Wow, that was some tough negotiating!

Well, that's one thing done.

The main thing now is to get the marquee

and then everything else is coming flooding in.

So, having spent a third of his budget on a piece of grass,

David spends almost £3,000

on a circus-style marquee, complete with tables, chairs

and a dance floor to go in it,

all adding to his increasingly-eclectic wedding theme.

-Shake your hand and make a deal with it!

-Thank you. Yes.

By the end of this first week, he's spent well over half his budget...

..and he still has a lot to buy.

Rings, food, drink, hen do, stag do,

suits, bridesmaids' dresses.

But I'm at a complete loss to think what these things are going to cost.

With his spending at risk of spiralling out of control,

there is someone who's more than happy to offer advice.

No, he's not the best planner.

He's got a good mum, though, that often helps him out.

7,000 without any of this.

That leaves us just short of five grand to do all the rest.

I think it's not all going in the right pots at the minute.

Yeah, I think he might need to cut some corners with some things

to allow for his lavish venue.

With cost cutting in mind, David and Eddie head to a wedding dress shop.

-Hiya.

-Hiya.

But they're not here to buy, they're here to be inspired.

David is planning to save money by designing Elle's dress himself.

No, really.

I'm actually getting one made.

-You're going to get a dress made in a week?

-Yeah.

Eddie's my best man. His mum's a seamstress...

-Right.

-..and makes bridal dresses as well,

so I need to have a good idea of what I want to be made.

I think I've got a clear enough image

and a good enough imagination to create something more magical

than she probably would have imagined herself.

Across town, Elle's brought her mum, sister

and bridesmaids Nicky and Charlotte

to an upmarket boutique where she's hoping

to find her dream designer wedding dress.

I think, until I walk into a shop, I'm not going to know what I want.

I love that.

Oh, I really like that!

I like the mat... I like the back.

You should try one of those other ones on to compare as well.

-I like that one.

-It's really nice. Oh, wow, that looks really...

-1920s...

-Like Downton Abbey?

Yeah. That's lovely. Really lovely.

-Ooh.

-Try that one on, yeah?

With an array of stunning gowns to try,

surely she'll find the right one in no time.

ALL GASP

-Wow!

-Oh, my God, that is so princessy!

-That is amazing.

You look like Cinderella.

I don't think it's me.

-I don't think it looks good with short hair.

-Why?

I don't know!

It's not the one. No.

Well, the next one's bound to be perfect.

No, I don't feel confident. No.

Elle, you are actually turning into a bridezilla

cos you can't find anything you like.

I don't like it!

Where do we start, mate? What are you looking for?

I'm about as skilled as you are at this at the moment, mate,

so just look and tell me what you think looks nice.

Across town, wannabe designer David is also looking confused.

This is scary.

Do you want something long or short?

Well, the majority of the day is outside,

so I don't want to have anything

that's going to be dragging along the floor.

Unaware she'll be stomping through a field

and then dangling above it...

Oh, my God!

..Elle's finally found a dress she likes.

-Hey!

-I love it.

-You look like a Greek goddess.

I feel like Kim Kardashian.

ALL LAUGH

A floaty, floor-sweeping, glamorous gown.

-It looks amazing.

-Look at the back.

-Oh, my God!

-Oh, wow.

-I love it.

-I love this one.

It's perfect.

It's glamorous and not too over the top.

I love the material cos it flows, don't it?

I didn't think she'd go for anything like that at all

and now I'm really worried about the dress.

I really don't know what he's going to end up with.

It's not short-short but it's short.

I like that.

Meanwhile, David's got his eye on a short, 1950s prom-style dress.

Do you reckon, Ed, do you reckon that's a sensible choice?

That's it, mate. That is it.

Absolutely!

A '50s frock should fit in perfectly

with the rural, Mad Hatter's, air balloon, tea party theme.

I can see her probably picking something like that out herself.

Well, she didn't.

-Get the dress on.

-Do you want me to put a dress on?

DAVID LAUGHS Look, he's getting...he's getting into it now.

Might as well go the whole hog.

-I'm going to look lovely on our big day.

-I love it.

-Yeah.

-It's a done deal.

Quick, get out the door quick and then we might be able to keep it.

Thanks for your help.

Brimming with inspiration,

it's time for David to put pen to paper

and actually design the dress.

Or maybe just, you know, adapt the one he saw in the shop.

I haven't got a single idea in my head that I'd put on that

that I think would make it look any nicer.

Design done, David has given the seamstress, Eddie's mum, Sarah,

the challenging task of bringing his vision to life.

Come and save the day for me, Sarah.

There is a picture that I won't hesitate to show you

which is your dear son modelling it.

SARAH LAUGHS

But the lady in the shop said that that's a '50s-style dress.

Yeah.

Cos I want all the other bridesmaids to be in a similar-cut dress.

Do you think you'll be able to do it in just over a week?

Yeah. Well, I mean, we've got to get the fabric asap.

Yep. Do you reckon you could mock up a price

of what you think it might cost?

I don't know, 400,

something like that, as a rough... It's difficult to say.

Well, that's good for me because I set 450 aside.

I think we're in a pretty good position here, aren't we,

-at the moment?

-Well, I think so, apart from time.

Yeah, well, apart from that, of course.

If I was making a wedding dress for somebody,

probably take a couple of months.

SHE LAUGHS

So, how many days have I got?

I hope she'll love it. Yeah.

Yeah, it'll be pretty devastating if she doesn't.

It's the end of the first week

and Elle's taking some much-needed time out

to catch up with her mum, Claire.

-Missing David then?

-Yeah, lots and lots and lots.

I feel like I'm going through a break-up!

Do you think he's missing you?

Yeah, lots.

-Ah.

-Course he will be.

Do you think he's coping all right?

Yeah! He's calm though, isn't he?

He don't get stressed, does he?

-Doesn't stress over anything.

-No.

But he's not ever been in this sort of environment before, has he?

I'll worry when I see the dress.

That's the only thing I'm worried about.

Yeah, and that will be when you have a major meltdown.

-Well, wouldn't you?

-Well, yeah.

I think that's pretty normal, isn't it?

So what sort of style dress do you think he'll go for

for the girls?

Don't know.

They're all different, so...

That's what I'm worried about.

-If he's not going to take them to choose them.

-He can't!

It's not fair on him to take eight girls with him.

Aren't you getting worried about it?

Out of sight, out of mind.

Well, he's pretty far out of sight actually,

because David's in London...

..to find some 1950s bridesmaids dresses

to complement Elle's wedding dress.

Was there anything you were looking for in particular?

My bride-to-be, she's having like a 1950s-style dress.

-OK.

-So I was looking for something like a similar sort of shape.

-OK.

Our best seller is probably the polka dot ones, so...

Hmm. I mean, it is going to be quite bright.

-Yeah.

-It's a Mad Hatter's tea party theme.

-Oh, wow.

-I was thinking all different colours but...

-Yeah.

..all plain different colours.

The shop assistant has picked out something

that might fit David's criteria.

I like it. It's nice.

I'm just trying to imagine eight of the girls standing there in it.

Do you have eight of that exact dress?

Of this exact one, yeah.

It might go with Elle's dress and his tea party theme,

but there's a problem.

My intention's always been the same dress, the same shape,

but in different colours.

Um...

It's just whether a case of I get...scrap that.

Oh, yeah, I do like the shape. It's 1950s, isn't it?

Same as Elle's dress.

But I think we need to look for different colours.

-Safe to say it's a no-go on that.

-Yeah.

So the boys are leaving empty-handed.

But, back at home, David's found what he's looking for.

So I've found a website with other dresses on...

-Yeah.

-..in different colours.

I'll just try and have...have to try and match

all of the sizes to the ones they have.

So, as he places the order for eight dresses,

he just has to hope they all fit.

It's halfway through the second week,

and the boys are taking a break from being wedding planners...

-Ah!

-..and grown-ups.

Underneath.

Here's to what we've done, and congratulations to us.

-Ha!

-But it's not long before talk turns

to David's dwindling wedding fund.

We could have budgeted a bit better on certain things.

A lot of things we've actually managed to cut down from what

original budget we would have expected.

One thing I saved on is the dress.

I do think that the venue is an insane amount of money just...

-Yeah.

-..to have a bit of their space.

With little money remaining,

David's decided to make some sacrifices.

The budget for the stag do is zero pounds, zero pence.

Yep.

Instead, he's spending his entire stag do fund on Elle's hen do.

I think it's clear to see, throughout all this,

I just want to get it right for her.

The woman I love is the woman I love

and I want her to have the best life possible.

If that means cutting corners for me, then that's what you've got to do.

I'm missing her like mad.

I knew I was going to miss her, I couldn't lie to myself,

but I'm definitely missing her more than I thought, like.

With only a week to go until the wedding,

the girls are at Elle's mum's

and are ready to party.

-Ready?

-Yeah.

-Sexy.

-Ah!

THEY LAUGH

I'm going to look like a stuffed sausage!

At David's, the boys have come over to prepare for his

penny-pinching stag...

Right, all right, my love.

..and mum's quick to offer a warning.

Come back with two eyebrows, please.

-And she's right to...

-See you later!

-Be safe!

-Take care.

..because this stag is going to be intense.

They're going camping, in tents, in a field down the road,

just as they did growing up.

I need to tune it in. There we go.

We're en route to find our dig ins for the stag do!

I think you can see by the amount of alcohol

that's what's going to happen.

We're going to get pissed. Very pissed.

After a short walk,

the boys find the spot where David camped as a kid.

Into that field, to the left, and then round to your left again

and we'll be there.

Over at Elle's, the girls are heading off on their hen do.

-I'm disappointed that I'm in a taxi.

-Elle!

I am. I'm being truthful.

You're such a diva!

David has also organised them a trip down memory lane.

It's just that the girls don't have such fond memories.

I thought he was going to do something cool

like get us a limo and let us have a little buzz around and...

-Oh, come on, look.

-Have faith in him, Elle.

-Trust him, it's going to be good.

-Yeah, I'm going to Eat N Bowl.

-We are going to Eat N Bowl. BOTH:

-We are at Eat N Bowl.

-It's literally on the right-hand side.

-Right, OK.

I used to smoke in here when I was 13.

-Elle!

-That's why I used to come here.

Are you sure this is right, yeah?

Oh, this is embarrassing!

MUSIC: "Primadonna" by Marina And The Diamonds

It's fine.

We've got some drinks in.

I think it's a bit of a piss-take, to be honest.

-I'll...

-I am disappointed.

Yeah, you just have to have a few drinks. You'll be fine.

Yeah, let's get some shots then.

Just got to enjoy it, Elle.

-Cheers to David being a prick! ALL:

-Yeah!

Whoo!

# Prima donna girl. #

I'm just really disappointed because

what else is going to be in store for tonight now?

If it's shit, I'm going home.

He probably thought that I'd have a laugh coming here

but I suck at bowling, I don't even enjoy it,

so he should have spent the money on something else for us girls.

It could be worse.

She could be in a cold, muddy field...

like she'll be on her wedding day!

There we go.

As the boys huddle around the fire for warmth,

David is looking to the future.

A couple more nights, and I'm getting married and my wife's home!

I can't wait to see her. I just want her home.

Yeah, I know.

I'm happy for you, mate. We're all happy for you.

Cheers to that. Amen.

-We'll all drink to that.

-Chin-chin.

Just hang about, hang about.

And while the boys enjoy a simple night

of booze, bangers and banter...

..the girls still aren't exactly bowled over by their hen do.

ALL: Cheers.

You lot stitched me up on that one. You lot stitched me up hard, man.

But they have found a better use for the bowling alley.

Not like she's the first hen to end up drunk down an alley.

I'd kill myself.

Yeah, we've pretty much had enough now.

But just as the girls think of calling it a night,

David has a surprise.

ALL:

THEY ALL SCREAM

-Oi, sick, it's a bus!

-Ah!

THEY SCREAM Elle! Elle!

-David!

-Right, here's to David!

-ALL: Hooray!

Elle, how exciting!

Hen do!

It seems the way to this bride's heart is through a party bus.

-He definitely pulled it out the bag.

-Definitely. Better than Eat N Bowl.

Yeah, we're well happy now. We love you, David.

-Thank you.

-We love David!

David has sacrificed his stag do to give Elle a night of VIP treatment.

But, despite all the extravagance,

there's just no pleasing some people.

I think the majority of the budget has probably gone on David's stag do.

-Oh, Penny!

-Oh!

-You bitch!

-THEY LAUGH

Limos and nightclubs for the girls

and it's dank fields and night for the boys.

We've got some Cumberlands. RADIO PLAYS

We've got a couple of apple and ciders here.

This is what I love doing with the people I love, so...

-Ah!

-Yeah, this is my stag do all over.

DJ ANNOUNCES: Is anybody getting married?

-Yes!

-Right.

-Whoo!

MUSIC PLAYS

It's going really good. We're having a really good night.

I think Elle's calmed down now. She's really enjoying it.

Tonight is showing that

he's going to pull something out the bag and it's going to be good.

So, as the girls finish their night on a high...

..for the boys, David's fireside stag do marks the end of an era.

We're all good friends. This is what we do.

We enjoy each other's company.

You grow up, don't you?

And we're all going through that sort of

you're growing up type thing,

and he's getting married.

A toast to the golden wedding of David Saunders and Elle Hutchinson.

-Cheers, boys.

-Cheers, boys!

-Cheers, mate.

It's the start of a change, isn't it?

He's got to start thinking about someone else I suppose.

-HE SIGHS

-It's crazy.

ALL SHOUT

ALL SING # Shave his belly with a rusty razor

# Shave his belly with a rusty razor

# Shave his belly with a rusty razor early in the morning! #

# It's a beautiful morning

# Ahh

# I think I'll go outside for a while

# And just smile

# Just take in some clean fresh air, boy

# Ain't no sense in staying inside... #

I think he was actually the last one.

Yeah, he was the last man standing.

Oh, my dear God.

It was a very good night, yeah.

I'm just feeling the effects of it this morning.

Lots of drinking, lots of sing alongs

and a lot of falling over.

I was the last man standing.

Everyone had gone to bed and my bed's ended up

being one of those deckchairs.

Mum will be happy to see me home in one piece.

It's the start of the final week, and the bridesmaids' dresses

David ordered online have finally arrived,

-and so have the bridesmaids.

-Hi, Ashley!

-Hello!

It's the moment of truth for a very nervous groom.

-Evening, girls! ALL:

-Hi.

How we doing? Come look at these, quick, before I faint.

He's about to find out if they like his 1950s dresses

-and, more importantly, if they fit.

-Ah! Ah!

-Ooh!

-Chloe...

They'll probably look better on.

-Put it on.

-Oh, my God, Elle is going to be so angry.

See you downstairs when you're done!

Oi, quit complaining and put them on.

-You'll all look lovely.

-I'm mortified!

I'm going to look like a Disney princess.

It looks awful!

Downstairs, David is bracing himself for the worst.

I don't think I've ever been that scared in my life.

It'll be all right, mate. They'll love them once they're on.

Yeah, but that's the next part of the story,

they're all BLEEP the wrong size.

And it seems David's fears are about to come true.

If it fitted, it would be all right, but they don't fit.

It's disgusting.

This is crazy! Are they actually the right dresses?

-THEY LAUGH

-Oh, my God!

-They're laughing!

-At them.

-They're not crying!

Oh, my God. If Elle was here, she would be screaming.

Oh, my God, I can't breathe.

Breathe in.

Yeah, it won't do up. Mine don't do up either.

Oh, my God.

If they don't like them,

Elle's reaction will be amplified by about ten of any of their opinions.

And it's even worse than he suspected.

David, what the BLEEP?

Every one's too big.

-Every single one too big?

-Every single one.

-Yeah.

Look how big that is.

What are we going to do?

Take them off, I'll get you new ones.

There's no way that I'm making any of those girls wear those.

They don't fit them.

Go on, then, girls, you can take them off.

I knew I shouldn't have got those shitty dresses!

Shit.

With little money left in his budget and just two days until the wedding,

David has a problem.

I feel bad.

Obviously he tried hard with colours and everything,

-obviously the style and stuff, but it's just...

-Flat shoes.

..the fitting and that is just awful.

Wah-ah!

If we'd have gone to an average high street shop

and bought them off the shelf,

then I would have had eight dresses that fit actual sizes.

As the bridesmaids leave, a desperate David gets back online

in search of replacements.

But with no chance of a refund until after the wedding,

David turns to Mum for a loan.

Do you know how much you're going to need to borrow?

£359.92.

With the order confirmed, he'll just have to hope the new dresses

arrive before the wedding.

In the meantime, David has a long list of items still to buy...

-Right.

-See you later.

-See you later.

-Bye.

..because this wedding has a theme.

Or should that be themes?

To add to his Mad Hatter's, air balloon, tea party, rural,

1950s themes, over the next few days

David buys...

a 1940s wedding suit...

-I don't think anybody will forget this waistcoat.

-It's very good.

..some New Age hippy lanterns, multicoloured throws

and with only 200 quid left...

I think we might need a trolley, mate.

..sophisticated decorations for his marquee and tables.

Six, eight.

Shame they haven't got a queen one of these.

So a kids' party shop should do the trick then!

47 quid to finish, Ed.

BALLOONS SQUEAK

With the final frenzied shopping spree over,

and only days until the wedding...

-Bye-bye.

-See ya.

..the Mad Hatter finally sends his White Rabbit

to deliver his bride's invitation.

Oi, girls, come 'ere!

Eddie!

What you doing?

I don't even know what it said.

There's a sign.

You've got to read the sign.

"Elle Boo Boo,

"marry me, 10th April, please.

"Be ready for 2.00pm."

Ah.

Come on.

That's original, isn't it?

But it don't tell me where I'm going.

It doesn't tell you nothing.

-He had bunny ears.

-He had bunny ears on.

It could be a Playboy theme.

THEY LAUGH Oh, BLEEP!

-That's two days away.

-Right.

-48 hours.

But it's not just the invite that's worrying Elle.

I understand that the girls hated their dresses

and that they looked like they were a cast member for Grease,

and that's not even my style at all!

I tried Charlotte's dress on and it was huge on me.

-I thought it was a joke at first.

-I couldn't believe it.

I'll tell you now, if I don't like them,

we'll put them all in the garden

and then we'll burn them and then I'll go off to Primark.

It's the day before the wedding

and time for Elle to see the dress that David has designed for her.

Ah! I know where we are.

-Where?

-Eddie's house.

Eddie's mum's like a seamstress, or whatever.

Is that what they're called?

She may know where she is,

but, after the bridesmaid dress disaster,

what will she make of her 1950s gown?

-Hello! You all right?

-Hello. You must be Elle!

-Yeah!

-I'm Sarah, Eddie's mum.

-You all right?

-Yeah. Are you scared?

-I know you're Eddie's mum. Yeah!

-Hello.

-Hello. Come in.

So I've been asked by David to make your dress for you.

-OK.

-And we sat and he designed it and...

ROOM FALLS QUIET

-Ah, no.

-..and I don't know if you're ready to see it.

Yeah! Yeah, just show me it! Just show me it!

I feel sick.

GASPING

It's short.

Is that good? No?

Yeah. I dunno! I dunno!

It looks princessy, don't it?

-Did he let you design that?

-No, he did.

-Are you joking?

-No!

-Are you serious?

He's got sketches of it. Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Ah.

-Ah!

-Hmm!

-So, are you ready to try it on now then?

-Yeah.

-Right.

-Oh, my God.

Obviously, the ones we saw at the bridal shop,

the one...her dream dress she fell in love with,

is completely different.

I wonder what shoes he's getting for it...

-I wonder what shoes it is.

-Yeah.

-You could have anything, couldn't you, with that?

-Yeah.

-Ta-da!

-GASPING

-Do I look thin, yeah?

-You look tiny. Very nice.

-Do I?

-Yeah, tiny.

Oh, good.

If I went into a shop, I would have looked at it and been like,

"Urgh, no."

-I'd better shave my legs.

-Does it feel nice and comfortable?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Yeah. It's lovely.

-Yeah, it's nice.

I love it!

-Ah, well done, Sarah!

-Woo-hoo!

-Do you feel like a princess?

-Yes.

-Ah!

David has one last surprise in store for his bride-to-be.

-Ah!

-Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, we're not going to be like on a BLEEP farm or something,

are we?

Are you lot scared now?

-Yeah. We've got to sort ours out now.

-Yeah, just a bit.

This is not traditional, is it?

ALL: No.

While Elle's finally realising the lack of control she has

over her big day,

David, well, David feels much the same way!

He's completely relying on good weather

for his hot-air balloon nuptials to take off.

And with less than 24 hours till the wedding,

he still hasn't actually stepped foot into his ceremony venue...

basket...whatever.

I am worried about it because, the other day

when we couldn't fly last, the weather seemed all right to me,

so obviously we need to find out what the limits are.

So far it's looking good.

Cheerio!

So good, in fact, that before David can even climb aboard,

pilot Gary's taken advantage of the rare good weather and flown off!

So David chats to the ground crew instead.

Are you hopeful that we'll fly tomorrow?

Have you seen the weather?

The weather's looking quite good for tomorrow afternoon at the moment.

-Well our balloon flight's scheduled for three o'clock.

-Right.

Gareth mentioned about thermals affecting that.

Is that the same on a tethered flight?

It still can, because a thermal can actually pick the balloon up

and take it up and then chuck it down.

-Ah, that sounds horrifying.

-Yeah.

Feel scared to go up in it?

I'm scared about the crashing to the ground bit!

Yeah, perhaps best you don't mention that to Elle.

The big day has finally arrived, and a nervous Elle

is getting ready with her eight bridesmaids.

Do you not feel scared?

-We're not getting married.

-That's you.

I just went upstairs and said,

"All I can see is hairspray and big knickers."

SHE LAUGHS

Meanwhile, Elle's mind is on other things.

I'm just more worried about what you've got to say!

What you've got to say?

Yeah, I don't know what you have to say when you say your vows.

They tell you, don't they? You repeat what they say.

Yeah, but do you say I do or I will?

-They'll tell you.

-I will.

-I will.

-I do.

-I will.

-I'll do it.

-I'll do it!

As long as it's not, "I don't."

Over at the venue...

All the rubbish needs to be picked up and put somewhere.

..David, together with the boys, is putting his own finishing touches to

the Mad Hatter's tea party, New Age hippy, rural,

1950s...and '40s, casino, circus-themed wedding!

I'm feeling good. I just want to get everything to a right stage

and I'm panicking that we don't have enough hands to get it done at the moment.

Oh, and the hot air balloon's arrived.

The crew get straight to work preparing a test flight.

Back at the house,

an anxious Elle is making slow progress.

I'm feeling the pressure!

What time have you guys got to get in your dresses?

Do you know?

I don't know, Mum, I don't know anything.

I can't tell you anything cos I don't know.

Get out my way!

OK, I'm moving now.

You're better off just staying out of it, Mum!

I can see she's starting to get a bit twitchy,

so I don't want her having a turn.

With little over an hour until the wedding,

the moment of truth has finally arrived

for David's replacement bridesmaid dresses.

-Oh!

-And this time he's gone Grecian.

Well, might as well throw in another theme!

Ah, I love it.

You look love... Oh, you look like all Greek goddesses.

Oh, darling.

-Hugs.

-You do, you look beautiful!

It looks like David's last-minute dress decision

has Elle's full approval.

Snaps for the girls.

Snap, snap, snap!

ALL CLICK

-Aw!

-I feel like I'm going to cry.

-ALL: Ah!

-Shut up Claire! Get in there!

Get in there!

And as eight happy bridesmaids wait downstairs for Elle,

it's a big moment for mum, Claire,

who's not yet seen her daughter's dress.

-ALL:

-Ah!

-Ah, that's Elle!

-Oh, Elle, you look lovely!

-Thank you.

-How do you feel?

-Snaps. I feel good!

-You look beautiful.

-The shoes! You all right, Claire?

Yeah.

Thanks, Mum.

-That's all right. You look beautiful.

-Thank you.

Yeah.

Aw, dear.

-All right, Claire?

-Yeah, I am.

She looks beautiful. Beautiful.

I'm really proud of her.

Oh, I feel really stupid now. SHE LAUGHS

With the girls running to time,

taxis arrive to whisk the bridesmaids away.

Back at the venue, David's worst fears are becoming a reality.

With the wind picking up, the hot-air balloon crew

are having trouble keeping it steady with the rope tether.

If we go too high,

we're going to get more turbulence.

Yeah.

And we won't control it.

This could be a bumpy ride.

Unless conditions improve,

David's floating nuptials are hanging in the balance.

At home, Elle's about to get surprise number two.

I'm just waiting for something, or someone, to pick me up.

It's literally a surprise number two.

-Oh, my God. Mum!

-Yeah?

The cat has BLEEP on the floor in the kitchen.

Let's hope that's the only unfortunate dropping

she experiences today.

-With the bridal car now running 20 minutes late...

-Uh! Uh! Uh!

-I'm coming, I'm coming.

-Come on!

..Elle and her mum think they can hear something coming.

I'm a bit worried.

It doesn't sound very well, does it?

Has it conked out?

Oh, my God. Is it round there?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, but it keeps breaking down.

Oh, shit!

The car that David arranged to pick Elle up

is having trouble getting started.

What shall we do?

I dunno. He looks like he's fixing the engine. Bloody hell.

-Do you think we're going to get there in time?

-I don't think so.

I hope that's not a portent of things to come.

-SHE WHISPERS:

-Oh, shit.

Um, what shall we do?

That's all we need.

This is not good. Not good.

With Elle completely stalled,

the bridesmaids have arrived at the venue.

Oh, my God!

And David has a surprise for them.

A World War II US army truck,

adding yet another element to his Mad Hatter's, air balloon,

tea party, hippy, farmyard, 1950s, Grecian wedding!

Yippee!

With the bridesmaids safely dispatched,

David had expected his bride to be close behind!

So, apparently, now, no-one knows where she is!

So with time on his hands, he takes to ushering his guests.

So if you filter all the way round to where those tables are there,

there'll be a screen for everyone to watch what's going on.

And, as they wait patiently for the bride's arrival...

-Shall I get in, Ma?

-Yeah.

..luckily for Elle, mum Claire's partner has come to the rescue.

We're in Tebb's car because the car broke down.

The driver who was supposed to take us

has passed the address on to Tebb, so Tebb knows where we're going.

But now, she's running late.

Where the hell are we going?

It's Old Warden Airfield.

-I've never been here before.

-They do air shows here.

Pff, I don't like flying.

Shuttleworth's down here.

David used to go there.

-Did he?

-Yeah.

-Whoo!

-Very nice, Elle.

He's obviously wanted to put a bit of a display on for you.

Mmm.

Mum, what is that? Mum, what is that?

Mum, what is that?

Oh.

Oh, my God.

It's a hot-air balloon.

It's a hot... Yeah, it is.

I hope you like heights.

-That is BLEEP terrifying.

-Good luck with that, Elle.

With just seconds to spare,

David's floating wedding is given the go ahead.

But will his bride climb aboard?

Ooh.

Oh, my God.

What the BLEEP, Mum!

Oh, Elle.

Have I got to jump into that?

I think you have got to cock your leg over.

That's terrifying. I'm scared.

-OK.

-All right, come on.

-See you later.

Three weeks away from the love of his life,

and the moment David's been dreaming of has finally arrived.

-Foot there.

-Hold that.

-You all right?

-What I have got a do?

-You stand on there.

You can put one in there if you want, one in there at a time.

Aw, my Lord!

SHE SCREAMS

Mmm!

I've missed you so much.

Ah!

-I'm shaking.

-Surprise!

We're off!

Oh! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

OK, good afternoon.

Friends on the ground, we are

gathered to witness the wedding of Elle Hutch...

HOT AIR GUSHES

..and David Saunders.

-I take you, Elle.

-I take you, Elle.

-To be my life's partner.

-To be my life's partner.

I will never leave you.

HOT AIR GUSHES

I give you this ring.

I give you this ring.

As a symbol of our love and our marriage.

As a symbol of our love and marriage.

David and Elle, I now declare you husband and wife.

ALL CHEER

I've got to get down now, mate. I've got to get down.

Yeah, that's all right.

I've done all right, ain't I?

Well, I've done all right, coming in this.

-You've been very brave.

-Thank you.

-You ready?

-Yeah.

-He's a lovely boy.

-And Elle's a beautiful girl.

Yeah. Yeah, he's done her proud today. It's lovely.

Really lovely.

I didn't like it, not one bit.

Scared about the bleach on my hair!

I could have set fire! I didn't like it.

So before she changes her mind, it's off to make their marriage legal.

I loved the hot-air balloon. I thought it was really original.

It was really cool, like proper unique.

He told me he was going to go 100 foot.

But that probably says a lot about men, doesn't it?

If it was me, I probably would have clouted David as soon as I got in!

But she kept her calm, didn't she? She was all right.

Very brave of David, I think, to even attempt to get married in one.

Well, let's see what the bride and her mum make of David's

brave, or muddled, reception theme.

It's not what I was expecting.

No, it weren't what I was expecting either.

It's sort of like a tea party theme, isn't it?

As good a guess as anyone's.

It's nice, innit? But I am a little bit cold.

Ah, what's that?

I like the bunny ears.

Let's go in, let's go in.

I'm shocked.

It's really quirky, isn't it?

-Yeah!

-It's chilly, though.

I hope that we get some heat in here.

You like the Alice In Wonderland theme?

-Yeah. He's done well.

-Really cute.

It's not what you would have expected for a wedding venue,

-is it, at all, for a theme?

-No. No. No.

It's a mixture, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah.

It's a mixture. It's not what I would have picked.

I wouldn't have gone for it myself, but having said that...

I think it does sort of work. Yeah, it is cute.

Yeah.

So long as we're not expected to drink wine out of the teapots.

I just wonder if we're going to have a big old Cheshire Cat come in.

There's no Cheshire Cat, but the guests are arriving to take

their seats, if they could find them.

Did anyone remember the table plan?

I think you just sit wherever you want!

Oh, do you? OK.

Guests sorted and food served, it's time for the party to begin.

At this point, I'm supposed to offer you some advice.

Just make sure Elle knows who the boss is.

But I expect she's already told you that she is.

Elle and David Saunders.

ALL: Elle and David.

Right, here we go.

Come on, my son.

So I didn't actually write a speech.

I don't have that much to say, other than this woman has made me

the happiest I've ever been in my life.

My life has changed since the day I met her,

and I'm sure she'll change every day for the rest of my life.

I'm going to leave it at that and cheers to everyone,

thanks for coming.

Everyone get drunk now!

-Turn the music up.

-Let's get pissed.

To be honest, I'd rather see the back end of it now.

It's been three long weeks and I've seen a nice,

happy smile on David's face again.

That bloody hot-air balloon.

That scared me but it was an amazing idea.

Well, I thought he was quite unorganised.

I think you've done well with the money as well,

because I've got an amazing dress and ring

and the venue's lovely so, yeah, I think he's done well!

Let's just hope he can keep it up, yeah?

After today it won't change. I'm going back to the normal way.

No, you're not. You're not.

I really, really wanted to prove a point to my mum that

I wasn't going to be a brat and I think I've succeeded in that.

I'd say the opposite.

I think I coped a lot worse than I thought I was going to

and it has made me realise how much I need her.

-I'm amazed, actually.

-Amazed, yeah.

-I think that's the word, isn't it?

-Yeah.

I just didn't think he'd be able to pull all this off.

It's not as structured as some weddings I've been to,

but then I think that just reflects the pair of 'em, really.

Riding high on his wedding success, David's already planning his

next challenge.

A happy marriage.

Yeah, we want to buy a house, don't we?

And then I'm going to knock her up and get a dog at the same time.

No, I got too much partying to do!

Next time, the groom who doesn't actually want a wedding...

It is essentially a piece of theatre for the crowd.

..plans the biggest day of his bride-to-be's life.

This is the one!

But will the steps he's taking to avoid the traditional...

I don't know many people who

have had a wedding on top of a car park.

..have her sprinting for the exit?

-God, I'm going to kill him.

-They're plimsolls, aren't they?

Can his unconventional dress save the day...

This is hideous.

..or has he completely forgotten it's a wedding?

In here?

# Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon?

# Would you like to ride in my beautiful balloon...? #