Victoria & Adam Don't Tell the Bride

-From the depths of the earth...

-Oh, God!

-..to the crests of the mountains...

-My legs have gone weird.

..these crusading grooms must rise to the challenge.

£12,000...

LAUGHTER

..and just three weeks...

I love that girl. I love HER!

..to plan a wedding worthy of their betrothed.

Oh, my God. What's he done?

He just took my dress!

These fair maidens are bound by contract to be legally wedded...

-Oh, no.

-..but have no say in their big day.

Is it just going to all be last-minute and just...rubbish?

Oh, I hate it. I need to get out of it.

YELLING

Can these hapless heroes marshal their armies...

I love her, but she's a bitch when she's like this.

..vanquish dragons...

ALL: Oh, God!

Do as your future mother-in-law tells you!

..and conquer all before them?

Get out of my pub!

Or will they be...defeated?

I'm not doing it.

Tonight, petrolhead, Adam...

ENGINE REVS

..is putting his foot down for his big day.

I'd like to do a drive-through wedding.

Who does this?

While bride-to-be, Victoria, dreams of a Gothic romance.

-I'm in heaven!

-Top table.

-That's for me.

Can Adam's ideas accelerate him into the fast lane?

I shall remain optimistic.

Will his bride-to-be get revved up for her big day?

Maybe it's in the castle?

Or will it be one big car crash?

I look stupid now.

She wants to bloody like it, cost me enough.

-He might just have got it wrong.

-It'll be all right, Vic.

SHE SOBS

Ha!

A year ago, 32-year-old Yorkshire lad Adam

fell for the love of his life.

My first love was... She was gorgeous.

Just got beautiful curves and really, really nice lines.

I just looked at it and I was just like, "Oh, that's beautiful!

"She's gorgeous." Absolutely to die for.

Enough about your car, what about your bride-to-be?

I love Victoria almost as much as I love cars.

HE LAUGHS

Victoria and cars are very much that...

HE LAUGHS

And it depends what sort of mood Victoria's in,

because if Victoria's in a bad mood, then I definitely love my car more.

27-year-old Victoria doesn't always take a back seat.

Cars are definitely a big part in our relationship.

Partly because we both work in the industry.

Sometimes we do sort of say to each other when we get home,

"Right, no more talk about cars, let's talk about something else."

But without cars, this couple may have never got together.

It all began when Adam started working at a car dealership.

I sort of walked in and Victoria's wrestling a half-tonne

metal gate and fighting with it.

Hi, there, you all right?

-Do you need a little bit of help?

-Hi! Er, no. I'm fine, thank you.

Are you sure? I was going to say, I'm the new boy, so, if you need some help...?

Just go and have a seat inside. I'll be two minutes.

-See you in two minutes.

-OK, bye!

ROMANTIC SAX MUSIC PLAYS

I'm thinking, "Phwoar!" You know, you don't often come into

somewhere like this and see something like that on your first day!

It was a bit of love-at-first-sight kind of thing, you know.

-I sort of walked in, and...

-Maybe it wasn't quite love at that point.

-Mmm...maybe lust.

-That came later.

-Bit of lust.

-Yeah.

I think "lust at first sight" is more accurate.

So, spark plugs flew for these two.

And fast forward three-and-a-half years, this relationship has mileage.

I absolutely adore her. There is no two ways about it,

that is the main reason why I want to marry Victoria.

I can't think of anything more, you know. I absolutely worship the ground she walks on.

I mean, look at her, for God's sakes! I mean, she is gorgeous.

I mean, I'm punching well above my weight!

To make sure Victoria always parks her car in his garage,

Adam popped the question. He didn't expect what came next.

Within three days of us getting engaged, there were wedding

magazines in the flat... You know, it was like I had flicked a switch.

-That's beautiful.

-Thank you. Let's find "dream" everything.

I'm kind of wondering what colour bridesmaids would wear.

It were full-on Bridezilla. It was like, "Have you seen this dress?

"Have you seen this, have you seen this, do you like this, what do you think to this venue,

"what about this, what do you think to that, what do you think to this?"

-SNAPS:

-I think we get the picture.

I don't like satin though. Satin's not good.

-I'm not Bridezilla!

-You are Bridezilla!

-I'm not!

-You are.

Bridezilla or not, Victoria does have some unusual ideas

for the kind of wedding she wants.

I would like an alternative sort of wedding, in the sense of

not a white dress, and not necessarily the traditional run of the day.

Something a little bit more elegant and classy, but informal.

So Victoria wants an alternative wedding.

And as for Adam, well, so does he.

For me, I'm looking for something very, very alternative.

I don't want to do something traditional.

I've the utmost respect for people that do the traditional wedding,

but it's really not for me.

Sounds like this bride-to-be could be in luck.

The type of venue that I've got my heart set on

is Victorian-Gothic architecture,

but it's still pretty, it's still got a romantic feel, it's got

a lot of stained-glass windows and that sort of romantic feel to it.

I'm into venues that are quite "Wow!" on appearance and lots of

carving, stone and wood and things like gargoyles, I think are brilliant,

and still keeping a feminine touch and keeping it classy.

A little bit girlie.

Victoria wants Victorian with touches of feminine Gothic romance.

But Adam's got something equally classic in mind.

What I'd really like to do for our wedding, would be to involve cars.

So I would love to go to a car show.

I'd love to do a drive-through wedding. I'd like me and Victoria

to be in my car and then my car, me and Victoria, theoretically,

the two loves of my life are all getting married at once, together.

It would be fantastic.

Yep, there'll be three people in this marriage,

and one of them's a car.

But how does Victoria feel about Adam's pride and joy?

Adam's car is quite troublesome.

There's always something it needs or something going wrong.

Without cars, there would be no foundation for me and Victoria

as a couple, we would have never met if it hadn't been for cars.

It's just a romantic way of being able to link us right

back to the honeymoon period of the actual initial relationship.

# Crazy car. #

Adam wants to drive his bride-to-be full-throttle towards

a turbo-charged, drive-through wedding.

I don't like anybody telling me what to do.

I like to do my own thing and, you know, I think

it's quite a liberating feel to not have to worry about constraints.

This is going to be the most important day of my life,

so, I really hope he gets it right, because...it means everything.

Time to get packing.

All sorted, baby.

-I think so.

-Downstairs.

-All right, baby.

-OK...

SHE SOBS

Don't forget about me.

-I love you so much, baby.

-I love you.

Take care.

I really don't like seeing her upset, I never have done.

It kills me.

-Do good!

-I'll try!

Please do good.

I try and look after her as best I can, and when she's upset,

it upsets me. So, yeah, it's going to be tough. Yeah, really tough.

-TEARFULLY:

-The thought of not seeing him for three weeks...

is pretty horrible.

So there better be a good wedding at the end of it!

For the next three weeks, Victoria is staying with

best friend and bridesmaid, Jamie.

The next time she'll see Adam is on their wedding day.

Vic is incredibly emotional right now,

and I think she just keeps bursting into tears

just because it's really hit her that, you know, it's all real now.

With Victoria gone, best man, Rob, and groomsman, Shane, have arrived with help.

Well, with booze.

-Let's get this party started!

-Come on, boys!

But before they get well-oiled, Adam takes them out back

to rev them up with his plan.

So, what I want to do is, I want to make the car a star of the show.

I would like to do a drive-through wedding.

-THEY LAUGH

-So...

What I would like to do, is drive the car into the middle of

a classic car show and I really want to get married

by an Elvis impersonator.

Really just to cause some trouble and make it all really cool.

-Do you think she's going to enjoy that?

-No!

THEY LAUGH

I think Victoria will be "all shook up"!

It's ridiculous! I think Victoria is going to...hate it.

Not a resounding vote of confidence.

Looks like Adam won't have to prove himself to just Victoria.

He may have a job getting the best men on board, too.

It's day one of wedding planning.

-So, we've got 12 grand to blow.

-Right.

-What do you think the best way of blowing 12 grand is?

-Hog roast.

-Er, beer.

-Beer...

-THEY LAUGH

Cigars, yeah.

I think now, we really need to get on with maybe sorting out a reception.

Time to start looking for a venue. How else, but with a road trip?

Ready to roll, bro.

Any music for the road?

# You ain't nothing but a hound dog

# Cryin' all time... #

GOTHIC ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS

Victoria already knows the venue she would choose for her

ideal Gothic-Romantic wedding.

She's with mum, Ann, and bridesmaid, Rachel,

at 17th-century Carlton Towers.

Wow. It's beautiful, isn't it?

-Look!

-Look at that up there, Vic.

-Is that a gargoyle?

-It is.

THEY GASP

Oh, it's so beautiful!

-Amazing.

-Look at the chandeliers.

-I love the gold.

What an amazing room, isn't it?

You just can't stop looking at it, can you?

You don't know where to look first. Look at the tiles.

Look at the curtains!

-You could come here and get married and you'd probably have your fill of romance for ever.

-Yeah.

Meanwhile, Adam's over 100 miles away in Wales,

where he's come to look at a castle.

19th-century Bodelwyddan Castle, to be precise.

Victoria's castle dreams could be about to come true.

How romantic!

But all is not what it seems.

So you actually want to drive her into the venue,

-and then get married in the car?

-Yeah.

It's the Adam Show, it's the Adam And The Golf Show!

Victoria comes in there somewhere, in about the third.

-Starring Victoria...

-Yeah, starring Victoria. In the supporting role.

THEY LAUGH

-She's going to love that.

-Yeah, she'll love that.

-"Victoria The Sideshow".

"Victoria The Sideshow", yeah.

Unsurprisingly, Adam isn't driven by the Gothic romance of the place.

He's here for the massive car show they hold every year in the field out back.

-That whole field there is actually full of show cars.

-OK.

Behind the back, we do have all the camping area.

-Er...

-I like the idea of lots of people.

There will be LOTS of people.

Over there, we have all the show cars parked up,

-probably getting judged.

-Right.

And then you could actually get married in the centre of it all.

I like this! I like this a lot.

HE LAUGHS

-I think we'd find that cool.

-Yeah.

I don't think Victoria will find that cool.

I think she will find it cool, I think...

-At least she can SEE a castle.

-Yeah. There's a castle there.

A decent nod towards...

Are you going to bring here for the photos, at least, then?

Can you imagine walking in there, in your dress?

VICTORIA SIGHS

Come on, Vicky, give it to us!

SHE HUMS BRIDAL MARCH

THEY ALL HUM BRIDAL MARCH

VICTORIA SIGHS

It would be fabulous.

I'll leave it at imagine.

You never know, you never know, do you?

I shall remain optimistic.

He's good, he's good.

Odd, but good.

-LAUGHING:

-I'm sorry, but he is, isn't he?

He's quirky.

But his best men aren't

and they want him to consider the castle.

So, this is the courtyard and this is one of the options to get married at.

This is absolutely awesome. I mean, it really is.

And it's really got my creative juices flowing with it, as well.

I really like the idea of maybe fooling Victoria with a really

nice car and pulling her up to the gates, thinking

she's actually going to come in through the gates

in a really nice car, and hiding my car somewhere in here.

HE CHUCKLES

Yeah, so you could actually drive her through this way, take her, stop her,

she'll be thinking, "Oh, beautiful courtyard,"

-then drive actually into the showground itself.

-Yeah.

And then stop and actually get married.

Yeah, I think that could be really cool.

That's more your style, isn't it?

Yeah, I've definitely got my heart set on something in the middle of all the humdrum,

you know, with lots of people, lots of cars and...

I think it's got everything that I could ever dream of,

as far as just being cool, quirky, very alternative.

It's not that normal... It's not that normal run-of-the-mill thing, is it?

And I really like that. I'm really sold on it.

-You might be strung up on those gates.

-Yeah. We'll see.

You can just throw things at me while I'm strung up.

Have you got any stocks here, from medieval times?

So, for £1,000, Adam gets a wedding in a muddy field amongst

hundreds of cars and loads of petrolheads, just like him.

But Victoria loves Adam.

And there'll be lots of people like Adam, so she'll love this. Right?

She's going to hate it!

The cruel bit is that she's going to see it... I mean, it's stunning.

Lovely, Gothic-looking castle, which is very much her cup of tea,

and then she's going to get dragged down to the car show for the actual wedding.

The best men still aren't sold on the plan, and worryingly,

neither is the woman who's actually selling them the idea.

I think this is awesome.

It's not the most typical place to get married,

because, at the end of the day, we've got traders here,

we've got show cars, we've got fairgrounds, we've got food trailers.

I can't really see much romance actually happening there.

Especially as he's going to drive her through the courtyard first

and then she'll have all this excitement,

"Oh, I'm getting married at a castle,"

and then taken into the middle of a field.

Over in Carlton Towers, the girls are pretty excited, too.

Have you seen this?

-THEY GASP

-Oh!

And this is where you'd have the wedding breakfast.

Do you know, I've never seen anything quite like this.

-It's beautiful.

-It is.

I'm in heaven! Top table, that's for me!

I can just see you here, Vicky.

It would be just lovely.

-It certainly would be the wedding you've dreamed of, wouldn't it?

-Mm.

I just hope that he doesn't put us in a dirty place.

-Dirty?

-Dirty. Yeah, like a barn or something wacky like that.

Yeah, like a barn or, you know, a field.

Still, with his car show ceremony booked,

Adam needs a reception venue

and after a wedding in a field surrounded by cars,

what better way to celebrate than in another field

surrounded by more cars?

The lads have come to Bach Wen Farm campsite on the North Wales coast.

What I'd like to do is make this the focal point.

So, we've actually got a lot of classic car-themed things

going on here, so maybe a classic camper van bar, a classic camper van

maybe with some music and DJs that they can use the stage on.

-Do you think this is the place?

-Yeah, I think we need to do this.

I think we'd better go talk to Johnny.

So, it's another field, which won't please mum-in-law Ann.

Still, at least it's not a barn.

Anyway, time to check a potential wet-weather option...in a barn.

-Yeah, this is the outer barn.

-Right.

The barn area. So, a fully licensed bar.

You can also take a tent off...

-We've got a tent that comes off the side.

-Oh, right.

It's different to what I would have chosen.

What I was looking for was more outdoors

but this does give us an option to have a warm retreat, yeah.

All he needs to do now is cut a deal.

How much is going to cost us

to be able to hire the venue from yourself?

This space in here,

we could do that for you for 250 for the afternoon and evening.

-That's not a problem.

-Right.

-If you want the big stretch tent as well...

-We'd need the tent as well, yeah.

-I could probably do that for about 220.

-Right.

I'd like to shake your hand on that cos I absolutely love it

-and think that we need to get this in place.

-Job's a good'un.

We'll get it nailed down. That's brilliant. Absolutely.

Cheers to that.

-Thanks very much.

-Happy days.

-Cheers, buddy.

This actually doesn't feel like a campsite.

This feels like a ready-made Narnia for wedding planning.

It's fantastic. It's great.

Two days in and Adam's wedding plans are motoring along nicely,

with a car-show wedding, a car-fuelled reception,

and a registry office to make the marriage legal

all booked for less than £2,000.

Shut up, Rob, you anchor.

HE LAUGHS

In Wakefield, Victoria's concerned just how far her groom

will take things without her to keep him under control.

I hope he doesn't go too far.

I hope what I end up with is something from both of our heads,

that there's something from me, something from him.

But I just hope it's not all a big joke and all his day.

-I think he'll bear you in mind in some aspects.

-Yeah. He's going to know he has to think about you.

He had better or there will be hell to pay!

Now, come on, Adam's not only thinking about himself.

-He's thinking about cars, too.

-Come on, baby.

And one car in particular,

who's getting a special outfit for her big day.

Let's go get you some new boots. Behaving for me today.

Will you get me there? Mwah. I love you really. Come on.

Get a room.

Ooh! They're a bit nice. I need to get me some of them.

This is a great day. I don't have to actually ask Victoria

whether I can spend some money on my car. It's brilliant!

ENGINE REVS

Without Victoria to put the brakes on his spending,

Adam splashes £320 on dressing his car with new wheels,

before dressing his bride in anything at all.

It's the end of week one but Adam's suffered a surprise double blow out

that's brought all planning to an emergency stop.

My best men have bailed on me.

They've both got their own commitments,

so I've lost my two little support mechanisms I've got

while I'm planning the wedding.

So, I'm just having to lash on a little bit and do what I can do

by myself, get things nailed down and see what I can do.

Losing both best men to work and family commitments has really

let the air out of Adam's tyres, and he's left feeling... What's the word?

I just feel a little bit deflated that I've not got

the support network around me that I'd hoped I'd got,

and that nobody's as excited about the project as I am.

Time for best man plan B.

Basically, it's kicked off a little bit that

I could just do with a little bit of help so that's why I'm here, really.

His dad, Ricky. Aw.

If you really think that my input is going to be good enough

to get you through this.

-I think your input will make it rather than break it.

-Seriously?

-Do you really think that?

-Yeah.

THEY LAUGH

Stand-in best man booked. Let's hope these two will make a good team.

It's not really the thing to get our brains together because sometimes

we think too much along the lines

where reasoning goes out of the window.

Hm. That's a no, then.

Hold them the other way. They get full of water.

# What about it Daddy Cool? #

Back on the road with his new best man,

Adam's next stop for wedding essentials is...

Well, it's a car show, obviously.

-Wa-hey!

-What was that?

-That's the rear wheel arches rubbing.

-Really?

-Yeah, I might need to slow it down a little bit.

The sun's come out, let's chuck the roof back.

Ready? Thumbs in. Thumbs in.

That's it. Down. Pull down. Back.

And throw it. And throw.

That's it! Here we go.

-Back of your thumb.

-No, I don't do it like that.

-Look at this.

I've got one of your dodgy old hairs in it.

Seriously, that's about £1.50's worth you've just got there.

Seriously. Seriously. No!

The car show at Stanford Hall is host to hundreds of cars

and car fans, and it's exactly like where the wedding is happening.

Is this really the wedding Adam's driving at?

I wanted to get a hubcap to do the wedding invite with.

So, how's that going to work?

I think once I see one, I'll know what I want

and then I wouldn't mind either a deck lid or a bonnet

that we can use as a guestbook,

maybe sign it in some kind of invisible ink.

-Then you keep that as a memento afterwards?

-Yeah.

So, Adam's rummaging for a hubcap to use as a wedding invite

and a bonnet to use as a guestbook. Of course!

This is quite good.

-Do you know what would be quite nice?

-Yeah?

-Reinstate the badge...

-Yeah, you could do that.

-..and put a numberplate on.

-I don't know if Vic'll get that, though.

-Yeah, but we will and that's what matters.

Excuse me, mate, how much have you got on the deck lid? The orange one?

20? I reckon by the time we've bought a badge and a numberplate,

I'm looking at 50 quid, which is cheaper than a guestbook.

-Shall we get it done?

-Yeah.

-Sorted! Yep. That's fine.

-Got that?

-Mine.

-Are you going to wear that?

-Yep, that's it.

-Cool. This nice lemon colour...

-No.

-No? Come on.

-No.

-Well, I want this one.

-I've got one here.

-I've got one!

-Swap it!

-I'm all good.

-£5 and yours would do it.

£5 and yours. Well, you see, that seems really good

because if you added the price of the badges and the other bits,

that's going to be a bargain.

-For a fiver?

-You get that.

-Cheers, mate, thank you very much.

That's going to look quite cool on my living room wall, actually.

Walking round this car show, Adam's beginning to realise

just how ambitious his car-show wedding plans are.

I'd quite like to make sure that when I actually do drive in

to the wedding, I'd quite like to come up through the show field

so the backing to the actual wedding is going to be show cars

-around the outside.

-Do you feel confident that this is

-the right sort of feel for it?

-I'm nervous.

-Yeah.

I'm nervous cos it's a big plan.

It's really quite ambitious, probably overly ambitious,

-if I'm perfectly honest.

-Well, it wouldn't be you

-if it weren't overly ambitious, would it?

-No.

I think he's got a little bit confused

when he's seen the thing actually working,

the venue and then he's tried to tie that into his dreams.

Now, reality is never what's inside your head

and so when he's looked at how this works

and how reality really is, he's starting to doubt himself.

-The afternoon tea for you.

-Beautiful.

While the boys are out looking at tyres and brakes,

Victoria's much more at home with tea and cakes.

She's out for a catch-up with mum Ann.

Oh, I do like a good starched napkin.

We know he's out there.

-We know he's got extremes, hasn't he?

-Mm-hm.

Do you think he will take into account and bear in mind

YOUR needs and wants for this wedding,

i.e. a really nice, elegant wedding?

I don't think he'll do most of the things that I would do.

I need to know it's not in a field.

He wouldn't put his mother-in-law in a field, would he?

Yeah, of course he would.

And he'd also like to invite her daughter to the wedding

with a hubcap.

They're on a different scale, aren't they?

-How much have you got on that, buddy?

-They're a fiver each.

That sounds like a good deal to me, mate.

I'll take that from you, mate, if that's all right?

Firing on all cylinders,

Adam bags a massive air bag to give his reception plenty of bounce.

-And Dad's sold.

-I really like it.

-Do you like that?

-I think that's a really good idea.

-Are you ready for it?

Let's see how this goes down on my wedding day. That is strange.

Adam's bought so many parts today that he could actually build

a car, but the thing is, I don't think it will be a car,

I think it'll be a shelter when Victoria kicks him out.

It's a bit light on the steering, this.

Yeah. Hey, is this a car-crash wedding?

Half a car and 300 quid later, the boys hit the road.

# Take me riding in the car, car

-# Take me riding in the car... #

-HORN TOOTS

It's the start of week two.

Adam's picking up his stand-in best man for the toughest task

of the wedding - getting the dress right.

Sweet!

Still, at least this stripy pair won't be arguing over dress sense.

They've driven 100 miles to the Wirral

to find the perfect dress for Victoria.

He knows the stakes are high when it comes to this gown,

so Adam has parked his car ideas for the afternoon.

Getting the dress right is mega-important to me.

That's why I've saved so much of my budget.

I haven't really got a clue.

I would imagine that she'd like something quite traditional,

whereas I'm probably not as traditional.

I think I want to go for something that's a little bit different.

Come on, tricky. Sit down, sweetheart.

Shall we look at the short ones first, shorter?

They tend to come just below the knee.

They all have petticoats underneath

-so they've all got petticoats sewn in.

-Oh, right, yeah.

I like it but it's not for Victoria. I think the...

I think it's a little bit too booby and it hasn't got arms.

-OK.

-She's not got a massive pair but they're reasonable.

Charmer.

Are you just going to pander to what Vic wants

or is it some of what you want?

-Do you know what, I've done SO much so far that's very Adam.

-Yeah.

-Car shows, outdoors...

-Yeah, yeah.

-This is about Victoria.

This isn't about me, this isn't about anything else.

This is Victoria. This is Victoria's wedding day.

Meanwhile, the bride-to-be is in Doncaster with mum

and bridesmaids, Jamie and Rachel, to look for the statement

alternative wedding dress she'd choose if she were in charge.

I don't want your traditional white fairytale princess-style dress.

I want something different and possibly coloured,

but I want a long dress and something that touches the floor

and then some, definitely.

-Wow.

-That one is nice.

-That is my favourite.

-I like the look of that.

-That's fabulous, isn't it?

It looks like Bo Peep.

Does it look like Bo Peep or Nell Gwyn or something?

That is amazing.

If you want to make a statement...

That's pretty wow.

-Maybe, but can I look at some other ones, as well?

-That's lovely.

-I'm excited. Oh, I like the look of this one.

-That's your colour.

But with Victoria basking in designer colours and patterns,

in the Wirral, Adam's idea of playing it safe

might mean he's dicing with danger.

-I have eyeballed one a little further down.

-Oh?

-This one?

-Yeah.

-Very, very pretty.

-Go on, then, scaring me, what's this one?

That one's 1,875.

THEY LAUGH

I knew it was really expensive.

-For a sample, we can take £500 off that, for the sample.

-Right.

I do want it to be a statement

but I don't want Vic to look at it and go, "Oh, that's maybe too busy."

-That's really something, isn't it?

-That is actually.

-That's incredible.

-That is.

-I like that.

Incredible but at £1,375, will they love it enough to buy it?

That's amazing.

You've got your glasses on. Can I put my glasses on cos I can't see.

-Do you want to put your glasses on?

-I need to see the detail.

HE LAUGHS

Seriously.

They've fallen in love at first sight

with this elegant '50s-inspired dress.

But Adam can't help adding his own alternative touch.

Could we try the denim jacket with it? Would you mind doing that?

Sorry.

That works...

-That actually looks really cool.

-That really works, doesn't it?

I want Vic to come in here, see that dress,

and have the same moment that I had and go,

"Shit, that's right."

A second-hand denim jacket.

If nothing else, that's Victoria's something old

and something blue sorted in one go.

-Over in Doncaster...

-Guys, this is the one!

Wow.

What are the chances it will be a white '50s-style dress

-with a denim jacket?

-Super amazing.

Oh, come on, Vicky!

Zero chance.

I don't even need to see. I know it looks amazing.

And it's over the right shoulder. It's brilliant!

SHE GASPS

-That's stunning, isn't it?

-It is gorgeous.

-It's the one.

I think he might well choose something like this

because it is...weird.

-Weird?

-No, I didn't mean weird. Weird, wrong word.

It's completely different.

Even better with your hair down.

I feel sad now.

Come on, dress, let's just...

Let's just take a moment, dress, you and me.

I want it! I want it.

Having found her ideal and far more alternative dress,

it's hitting home that Victoria is unlikely to ever get

-the dress of her dreams.

-Oh, darling.

I have got a tissue here. Oh, Vicky!

It's not going to be this dress, is it?

You're going to start me if you keep going.

I'm going to get changed now.

I think Adam would have to do something really extraordinary

to match up with that dress.

There's no question about that. It would have to be totally stunning.

And over in the Wirral, our groom knows it.

Ann will crucify me if I get the dress wrong.

I mean, literally, I might as well just cut my balls off

and nail them to a wall.

Just look at it. It's beautiful. It's awesome. It's perfect.

Even though as wacky and zany as some of my ideas are,

sometimes I can pull off what I'm aiming for

and I'm hoping that she'll look at everything that I've done so far

and go, "Actually, good job, lad. Good job."

Adam is desperate not to let Victoria down, but right now

the other love in his life is letting him down.

The car that Adam wants as the star of the wedding

is leaking oil and going nowhere.

He's actually lost his oil filler cap.

There's just loads of oil all at the back.

And Adam's attempts at a bodge job with some foil

are so far a nonstarter.

I'll eat another one if you need a better one.

I need some gaffer tape.

Adam's car is like a box of kiddie's bricks.

He tends to let bits fall off.

It drops apart, there's bits missing all the time, so it's down to that.

If that fails, he fails.

And watch. That's how flimsy that is.

That's how flimsy his plans are.

With the boys stranded,

the brakes have been really put on the wedding planning.

At least Adam has booked something a tad more reliable for the hen do,

even if it's only an orange van taking them up the road

to a local restaurant.

-Hello.

-Hiya.

-Can we ask, where are we going?

-And if we're appropriately dressed?

Come on, guys, on the bus. Everybody on.

Across town, Adam's also playing it safe with his stag do -

a traditional booze-up.

Hey!

Wedding. What wedding?

-Drink, drink, drink, drink!

-To the stag!

-Cheers, mate.

CHEERING

# Happy hen do to you! #

THEY CHEER

We've been to York, been to Leeds, been to Wakefield,

so it's been a good night. Yeah, it's been all right, actually.

Yeah, that's a good night. That's a good night.

But Adam's reliable hen do has got the bridesmaids worried

about the big day.

I do hope that the wedding has a bit more excitement

and something a bit different for her

cos he has played it very safe and it needs a bit more...

perhaps something a little bit more adventurous

for the wedding, I'd say.

Victoria might also be concerned, but she can't remember.

I have worries but...

..when you've had a little bit to drink

-they all kind of go away, don't they?

-Yeah, they do go away.

At least one person is secretly pleased.

I think what's impressed me particularly is that Adam

has taken into consideration what Victoria likes to do.

And he has been, so far, selfless in that.

-Strip club, next stop!

-No, no!

It's a start of week three and, having spent almost a grand

on the hen and stag dos, Adam and Ricky take stock of the budget

for the final week.

It's the little black book. I thought you'd got rid of that.

You told me when you got Vic you were getting rid

of the little black book. How come that's back out?

That's the big black book. There's a lot of names and numbers in there.

There's still quite a lot left to do. I've still got my bridesmaids' dresses to get.

I've got Vic's shoes and a denim jacket, some rings,

hair and make-up, cake, some kind of altar

and I've got to get me suited and booted. So, £2,155 I've got it at.

-Right.

-We've got left to spend. Let's go rinse this budget.

With less than a week to go, Adam still has one big hole

to fill in his wedding plans - someone to host the ceremony.

# I can't walk out... #

Who knew Elvis was alive and well in Manchester?

# ..too much baby. #

-Brilliant.

-With Elvis booked...

-You've got me for 350.

-..thank you very much,

next up, shopping for all those last-minute wedding essentials

including...

dotty dresses for the bridesmaids for £300,

alternative wedding shoes for Victoria,

alternative in that they're not really shoes at all.

What do you reckon? 52 quid. I think it'll be really alternative.

-Alternative. Go for it.

-I think it will be an alternative look.

-Try it.

-And finally...

his own wedding suit for £90. Double denim.

You're a very brave man but if you think that's going to work

and she's going to accept you dressed like that, go for it.

Less than a week till the wedding

and Adam is down to his last £1,000.

With his car finally back on the road and despite all the wedding planning,

Adam's managed to remember that it's Victoria's birthday.

-It's a quick in-out mission.

-Quickie.

-A bit like you, then.

-Yeah.

Run for it. Go on, Ricky, run, run, run!

-Happy birthday, Victoria.

-Hello!

-I've got to go. See you, guys.

-I've got to go. Bye!

-Bye, Rick!

-Delivered.

-How'd it go?

-Cool. Quick. In-out. She looks good.

-Come on! Let's open it.

-Quick, quick.

-Ooh!

"Happy birthday.

"You're invited to your wedding this Sunday, 17 May."

-Sunday?

-Oh, shit.

-I think that's a clue.

-"You're invited to your wedding."

'I just hope this day isn't all about cars'

and nothing else cos that will be boring for me.

And it'll be boring for everybody else who isn't as bothered

about cars as Adam is.

But while the hubcap has got the bride worried, the mother-in-law

is jumping to some comforting, if not completely correct, conclusions.

I think it is connected with cars,

so I think it's in a car showroom.

And not a muddy field. Yay!

Clearly, Ann is feeling optimistic about the groom's plans,

which is good news for Adam cos he's about

to drop a huge spanner in the works.

A little bit of a reason why I've got you here today.

There are a couple of bits that I need to discuss with you

to let you know what's going on a little bit.

I need you to take a little bit of control of something from me.

I've got a coach leaving from Wakefield Westgate.

I just need you to go round whoever's going to be coming

and let them know that, yes, it's going to be on the 21st,

-it's going to be a long day...

-21st?

-Sorry, 17th.

Ugh!

I could do with knowing numbers of how many people

-are going to be on that, at some point.

-OK.

That'll be in the next couple of days.

But I think it's more to do with where is the coach actually going?

-I can't tell you that.

-Clothing.

Can you tell us about what sort of clothing people should bring?

Just make sure that people come dressed for a wedding

but maybe bring something warm, as well.

I think Adam has just dumped a load of his job on me.

I think I might be very busy tomorrow.

She's like a dog with a bone.

Honestly, that is the only way I can describe Ann,

like a dog with a bone.

She just wants to know everything, yesterday.

After Adam off-loads some of the organising

onto his mother-in-law-to-be, a worried Ann reports back to Victoria.

All he did say is, "Bring something warm."

So, what do I do if he hasn't got me anything to put over my dress?

Do I just look a complete prat walking round in some warm cagoule

-of some sort?

-I know you're down about it

-and I know you're stressed, aren't you?

-I am stressed.

Come on, come on.

It'll be all right. Come here.

It will. It'll be all right, Vic.

'I think she's now a bit worried that it's going to be'

an outdoor event because she never wanted an outdoor wedding.

My vision of a classy wedding doesn't include outside.

Two days to go and Adam's heading to Wales to set up his very outdoorsy

car-show wedding, or at least he will if his car holds up.

A bit nervous about the car. I'm driving quite a long way in it.

It is the longest trip it's ever done since I've owned it

and it's such a major part of mine and Victoria's big day

that I'm a little bit nervous that something's going to let me down.

It's the day before the wedding

and Victoria is about to see her dress for the first time.

The girls are driving 100 miles to the Wirral.

This is a long way away, isn't it? No wonder they needed that coach.

Yeah, I'm glad we're getting closer to the dress cos I want to see it!

After a long journey, it's not the bridal store Victoria was expecting.

-OK, so it's somebody's house.

-I think we've found it.

We have indeed found it.

If she likes the dress then I can relax a little bit

that my plan's maybe not too far...out there

and she'll probably enjoy it, whereas if she hates the dress...

HE SIGHS

-You look really pale. Are you all right?

-No, I feel sick.

-Why?

I feel sick because I'm nervous,

so I just want to get in and get it tried on and feel better.

Come on.

She's ready to puke and she hasn't even seen it yet.

That doesn't bode well.

The dress is vital to her, as it's vital to any bride.

I don't want a dress that's traditional, boring, white

and that just says, stereotypical bride, when you look at it.

I know that dresses have subtle differences

but I want a dress that's VERY different.

-Would you like to go and see your dress?

-Yes, please.

-OK.

-Would you like to come with me?

-Yes.

Victoria wanted a statement designer gown full of colour

for her alternative vision of a romantic wedding,

but Adam played it safe with a simple, white 1950s-style dress.

-It's very white.

-It is.

It has a nice big skirt.

-OK. I need to try it on.

-Yep.

-I need to see it on.

-OK, fine.

-Aw, Vicky.

-What do you think?

-It's beautiful.

-I like it.

-It is absolutely beautiful.

-How do you feel?

-I feel good.

-He's done a REALLY good job.

I feel like... I feel like a bride now!

This is MY dress. Mine!

What do you think?

-I like it.

-Very good!

And this is nothing like what I thought I wanted

but I still love it.

I do. Yay!

-I want to get married now. Yay!

-Tomorrow.

So, Adam's safe bet gets the seal of approval

but will his alternative accessories be appreciated?

-There is something that Adam wanted you to wear with it.

-OK.

-So, I'll go and get it for you.

-OK.

-Uh-oh. Is this is where the quirky comes in?

-It will be.

It's been pretty safe so far except for the alternative length,

I guess, isn't it, cos this is...

-Oh, God!

-Oh, my...!

Oh...

Oh, dear God.

Here come the trainers and a denim jacket.

-OK.

-Oh, my goodness me.

I look a pillock!

You can't possibly wear that.

-THEY LAUGH

-I just can't...

-Stop laughing at me!

It was all going so well.

There's something on the sleeve! I don't know what that is!

I think it's blood.

I look stupid now.

Oh!

Vic!

ANN GIGGLES HYSTERICALLY

No, right, that's it! I'm going down. I'm going to ground!

-LAUGHING:

-I think I'll cry!

-Stop it, Mum!

THEY LAUGH HYSTERICALLY

Oh, God, I need a tissue.

Not exactly the reaction a bride wants for her wedding dress.

Stop laughing at me!

-He's not serious.

-Yes, he is!

But while Victoria's on the verge of a breakdown,

Adam's had another one.

I know what it is.

Yeah, it's not so bad. It's not so bad.

It's my cooling fan is on its way out for the radiator,

but that's not so serious.

I can change that in 20 minutes at the side of the road

if it goes wrong.

HE SIGHS

Absolutely bricking it. Absolutely bricking it.

I thought it were going to be my gearbox had gone again.

Phew!

But Adam barely has time to get back on the road before another, glitch.

-Hello, Adam, it's Ann.

-Oh, hello.

Vicky has just tried her dress on and she absolutely loves it.

She wants to bloody like it, it cost me enough.

However, she does not like the boots or the jacket.

She doesn't want to wear those. She wants to wear...

Tell her to stop being a miserable cow.

-It's part of my theme, she's got to wear them.

-She's got to wear them?

-It's tough shit. I think they'll look ace.

-OK, I'll tell her.

-Does the dress need any alterations?

-No, the dress is fine.

I don't know if it might be better taking a couple of inches up on it.

So that we can see the boots more, you mean?

-Yeah.

-No, I think we'll leave it the length it is, I think, Adam.

That will be better.

No compromise, she's wearing it.

He doesn't care that she hates them both.

A bit ... off be honest. It's like, I've worked really hard so far

and I thought I'd done everything right by her.

I mean, yeah, I've had a bit of fun with it

and I needed to have a bit of fun with it.

-He's taken it a bit too far, hasn't he?

-Yeah.

It's her big day and she doesn't want to look silly or...

She wants to look beautiful.

HE SIGHS

Less than 24 hours to the wedding, Adam rolls into the car show,

but the way he's feeling, there may not be a wedding at all.

She didn't like the denim and the baseball boots.

I'll tell you what, she can sit in the middle of a field

while it's pissing it down in the freezing cold

and see how she likes it.

See which jacket you want to wear then, love.

It feels like a massive mistake.

Everything...

Her dress, the wedding...

I mean, this - having a venue in North Wales.

Now it's not going to be a perfect wedding day.

I mean, listen...

ENGINE REVS

How does that make a perfect wedding day that you've got somebody revving their car?

That's just how it goes down at these things.

I thought she were actually big enough to handle

that it was going to be a bit different.

It's kind of a moment where you sit there

and you go, "What am I actually doing?"

Who knows if I'll be here in the morning.

It's the morning of the wedding and, thankfully,

the groom hasn't done a runner.

Morning.

It's a bit bright.

I feel a lot better this morning.

I'm just ready to get married now.

All the issues and the hassle, organising the wedding,

doesn't really matter today, I just need to get it right,

so it looks nice for Victoria when she rolls in.

I've spent quite a bit of time on the car this morning,

so it looks nice for Victoria.

The last thing I want her to do is turning up and the car being dirty

and I'd like her to feel like she's actually got something

out of it and it is a nice thing.

In her hotel an hour away, Victoria is still totally in the dark

about her big day, but she's about to get her first glimpse

of Adam's bridesmaids' dresses.

VICTORIA LAUGHS

I like how she laughs!

I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't those...

but you guys look awesome!

You do!

Minnie Mouse!

It is Minnie Mouse. I bet you've never felt so comfortable.

-Do you like them?

-ALL:

-Yeah!

So the bridesmaids' dresses are literally spot-on

but best man, dad Ricky, has some other doubts.

Reinforcements.

Two days ago I thought she'd love it but now I'm not sure.

There's like this doubt creeping in

that he might just have got it wrong.

Victoria and her mum have no idea where they're going

but, as they wait for their ride, wedding day nerves kick in.

Are you still feeling a bit...? Is it because it's so tight?

-It's so warm and I'm so tight in here. So...

-Yeah.

I'm sure something will come and collect us soon.

-What? What?

-I know.

What will he have sent?

And will it be worth the wait?

When she gets here and she gets the whole buzz of the show

and she sees all the cars around and the camper vans,

I think she's going to get really excited.

You're a bit underdressed.

-No, this is what I'm getting married in.

-Really?

-No.

-THEY LAUGH

While Adam panic dresses in the back of a van,

more guests arrive and so do the bridesmaids.

Obviously, we've turned up and it's a massive car show

and I'm just thinking, "That's the one thing that Vicky didn't want

"for her wedding." I'm just hoping that she goes ahead with it.

-This is not what we were expecting, is it?

-No.

-I thought it might be a bit more private.

-Yeah.

That is the sweetest ride I've seen all day.

Here we are.

Oh, lord!

Couldn't be anything else with Adam, could it?

Well, at least something's here.

Victoria sets off to the wedding but Adam's about to be hit

by a bombshell and it's got a quiff.

What?

Elvin the Elvis impersonator needs electricity for the ceremony.

The trouble is, Adam's forgotten to arrange it.

I need to try and get you some electric, then.

See if I can get some electric.

I think we are arriving somewhere, Mum.

Yeah, it looks like it, but where?

Is there any way of getting any electricity at that point

where we're having the ceremony?

No electricity, no Elvis.

With Victoria minutes away, Adam pulls the plug on getting

the King to sing.

I'm going to see Elvin and break the bad news that he can't sing at me wedding.

-Is it definitely not going to happen?

-No.

-Definitely not?

-No PA.

Mum...

-Good grief.

-I'm seeing a lot of fields.

I can see a hell of a lot of cars.

Please don't let it be outside. Please don't let it be all outside.

-Coach parking?

-We are at a castle.

-Please...

-Please let me get a castle.

Please let it be in the castle.

I might forgive him for doing a car show

if he gives me a castle, as well.

I might forgive him for that stupid jacket!

But Victoria's about to get a wonderful surprise.

Adam's flown her father over from his home in Spain

to support his daughter on her big day.

Wow!

Dad!

Oh, oh, oh.

That is a surprise for you.

Hi...

-How do I look? What do you think?

-Fantastic.

What a choice, what a choice.

Wow, perfect.

You're colour-coded to the car. Fantastic.

Oh!

-I've just realised that. I am!

-Yeah.

And just before Victoria is about to roll down her aisle,

Adam gets a blue suede miracle and some electricity.

Here we go...

# I just got your letter, baby

# And too bad you can't come home

Bridesmaids!

# I swear I'm going crazy

# Sitting here all alone

# Since you're gone

# I got a mess of blues... #

Oh...

We are gathered here today to witness before family and friends.

We are going to join Adam and Victoria in hellish...

I-I mean holy matrimony.

Do you Adam take Victoria to be your wife?

-I do.

-Do promise to love her tender?

-I do.

-And love her sweet?

And I'll love her sweet.

Do you Victoria, take Adam to be your husband?

-I do.

-And do you promise to love him tender?

-Yes.

-And love him sweet?

Hopefully.

Please exchange the rings.

-That one?

-Yeah, that may need a push.

VICTORIA LAUGHS

-Argh!

-Your own ring doesn't fit?

Who organised this?!

-Not me!

-LAUGHTER

By the powers invested in me, II-I...

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Three cheers for the bride and groom. Hip-hip.

-ALL:

-Hooray!

-Hip-hip.

-ALL:

-Hooray!

-Hip-hip.

-ALL:

-Hooray!

Thank you very much.

# I want to be your driver... #

I think it all went really well.

When I first arrived I thought, "How on earth can he pull this off?"

It was more romantic than I thought it was going to be.

This isn't the alternative I was thinking at all, but...

This is the man I married and this is what he did.

This is HIS alternative so...

It's good enough for me.

-You did so good.

-Thank you.

-Ah.

-Am I squashing...?

-I'm attached!

# Hit the Road, Jack... #

Adam's car-show gamble has paid off.

Even the new mother-in-law is impressed.

It's been...

Well, totally different and really quite fun.

Next Victoria and her bridesmaids get their first look

at Adam's reception venue...

Another field with some cars.

What the heck is that?

-Is that a bouncy castle?

-I hope that's a bouncy castle.

That's ace.

Look at the bar.

-And a BBQ.

-I need a drink.

-That's amazing!

-Yeah.

I love it.

I think he's done a good job with quite a good balance

of getting the things in that you like

but, perhaps, car themed.

Speak of the devil!

The man of the moment.

So, who likes me wedding venue?

Yes, we all do.

Love the venue!

The guests arrive and get ready for a night of beer and burgers.

And cars obviously!

-He's massively pulled it off, hasn't he?

-He has, hasn't he?

This is amazing.

Where the heck do you find a bouncy castle

that's in the shape of a camper van?

Huh?

Can you please put your hands together for the bride and groom's first dance.

Whoo!

# Every day, when I'm away

# I'm thinking...

Car show, not romantic.

But, somehow, you pulled it off.

# Everyone can carry on...#

This last day has been totally fun and interesting

and unexpected in every way, really.

I quite like it when I get praise from me mother-in-law.

THEY CHUCKLE

And you look after my daughter, or I'll kill you.

Oh, no! Me car!

CHEERING

At the end of the day it all came together

-and everybody's happy.

-In a weird way.

-In a weird way.

-In a very weird way.

And we're going to have some fun, aren't we?

-Are you?

-Yeah.

I love Vic more than I love cars

but I love life itself and this three weeks has taught me

that out of everything there's nothing I want more

than Victoria.

Erm, you could dangle a perfect '53 Oval in front of me

and I would still choose Victoria every day of the week over that.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah.

You didn't even hesitate there, that's so sweet!

ADAM CHUCKLES

Next time...

Big kid Kyle wants his wedding to go with a bang.

What sort of injuries have you had then, mate?

I've had a broken rib.

I think we will be able to cope with a broken rib.

While all his bride-to-be wants is a serious day.

I just want a nice, traditional wedding.

Can the groom put his bride before his banger?

I should have probably got a dress instead of that car

but that car's loads funnier than the dress.

Or will this wedding end up a write-off?

SHE SCREAMS

# I... I'm a one-way motorway

# I'm a road that drives away

# Then follows you back home

# I-II am a street light shining...#